Our adoption journey

Home Study and Drama

2011-09-29T09:20:00.003-04:00

So we completed our home study visits with our social worker. She was very nice. It was a crazy week, she came during the boys back to school nights, soccer practice, and me going out of town for my niece's wedding. Yet, its complete now we are just awaiting the final copy so we can file our I 600 forms.

Yet, in that process big T was asked if he had any contact with the police as a child. So he told her yes, and about the time he received a ticket that was dismissed by a judge. She then made the decision to have his juvenile records checked and he has to write a letter of apology to go in the home study. Crazy. The ticket was for trespassing on school property. He was there while adults were walking dogs, running on the track. Yet, he received a ticket for being a kid on school grounds. So him and his Mom decided to fight the ticket and take it to court. Rightly so the ticket was thrown out for its ignorance and the wanna be police officer (he was a school officer not a real police officer) was told to get a life. Yet, now due to the fact that he went to court over this he has to write a letter of repentance and we had to verify his juvenile record was clear. I am not sure about all this and think that they are going a little overboard with this.

Besides that the Director of Operations of IHNFA was suspended last week leaving a lot of questions in regards to our Honduras adoption. We do not know what God's plan is but trust in him as this is his will for us and knows exactly where and who he wants in our family.

Much Love,
Tnt and Boys

Physicals

2011-08-28T08:56:00.003-04:00

Our family of five had physicals done at Kaiser in July. We had to take our children back in for blood work, then back in for shots that they felt the children needed, then the TB test reading, on this past Friday they called to say they forgot to give the children vision and hearing tests. So on Monday i took the boys back in again for the fifth visit for their physicals. During this appointment I requested that the paperwork get signed. I learned that the Doctor was actually on vacation and was not available for the next 45 days. I was livid. So after making a formal complaint with management the boys paperwork was signed. Unfortunately T and my physicals were not able to be signed as the Doctor that performed the physicals does not have a license for practicing in the state of Virginia. Not sure why Kaiser has her working in Virginia if she doesn't have her state license.

So before school started the last week of August, I sat at Kaiser for three hours awaiting our paperwork to be signed. I did finally get the boys physicals signed, but he unfortunately did not write letters of explanation to the surgery B had for his eyes, and the anemia the boys have. So we are still awaiting completed forms and do not know when we will receive our forms.

After waiting a few more weeks I finally gave up, requested a copy of the boys records and took them to Corbin's doctor. She filled out all the paperwork, wrote the letters and had a notary come in to sign the paperwork. So finally the boys physicals are done. We also finally heard from our doctor at Kaiser and she completed our paperwork correctly.

So physicals completed!!

Tnt
and the boys
GAB

Back Again

2011-08-23T16:26:00.001-04:00

T and I after months of praying about starting over with the adoption process have stepped back into adoption. We began the process again this past June. We did not really advertise it yet, but here we are almost done with the homestudy and dossier portion of our adoption. After a lot of prayer and many meetings, we have decided on going with America World Adoption Agency. We also are adopting from Honduras. We are looking at adopting an older boy age 3 to 7 year old. I know many of you are suprised by this.

Check out our time line and we will keep you updated from here on how its going.
Please keep us in prayer as we embark on this new adventure God has placed before us as we bring home our new son from Honduras.

TnT, and GAB

Our Decision

2009-03-08T18:23:00.000-04:00

We have decided that we are not going to proceed with adoption through the Foster to Adopt program. This decision was not made lightly and one that did not come easily. We sat through many hours of classes listening to them talk about how these children were sexually molested, physically abused, mentally abused, neglected and many many other abuses. Then went on to tell us how these children would not adapt well within a home, and our goal is to re-unite the Parents and Child first and for most.

So basically if we were to adopt within Virginia we would need to sit through 42 more hours of this. Then wait for a phone call for a child, then work toward repairing and reuniting that family together for over a year. Then after that failed they would look at others and adoption as an option which could be another year. So we would sit in uncertainty for over a year to two years, not knowing if the child was ours or not. We have no rights what so ever not even allowed to cut the child's hair because they are not ours.

This just seems like something of a form of torture to our family and children. Yes, we want to adopt but not like this. We don't want to put our boys in harms way and hurt them in the process. So we are not going to go through with the adoption program at the county or state level. I can now understand why so many children are just left sitting in foster care after sitting through those classes. It was AWFUL and I have seen A LOT in my life. Nothing compared to that.

So now we wait and pray for a situation that seems right. We are back to looking at private adoption or international adoption. Yes, this is outrageously expensive but still feel this is more along the lines of where God wants us to adopt from. This obviously can't happen until Travis gets a job. So Please pray that he gets a job soon.

Thanks for praying and we will keep you posted
TnT

Classes

2009-02-25T08:27:00.000-05:00

I don't think there is any words for sitting in a class for 11 hours hearing about children and their loved ones abusing them and destroying their tiny world. It is so heart breaking.

We have three more classes to attend, our homestudy, and tons of paperwork before we can are completed and ready.

After the first class, I felt so overwhelmed and concerned about if we could do this. The worry that we would hurt the boys again was huge. Yet, after a lot of prayer and research as well, I feel more comfortable today. Even though the second meeting was even worse than the first.

We are now waiting on a phone call for our Social Worker for our second home visit. We will let you know when and how that goes.

TnT

In just four days!!!

2009-02-18T08:33:00.000-05:00

We get to begin our training!! Yeah! It is going by fast. We are all very excited and can't wait to begin this part of the process. The training on Saturdays are 8 am to 4 pm, and there are 3 of them. We also have three Tuesday evenings as well but those are only 3 hours of training.

Will let you know how it went on Saturday,
Take Care
TnT

Didn't Fail, invitation extended

2009-02-05T17:17:00.000-05:00

Well, we did not fail that first home visit and the county has officially extended us a formal invitation to attend the training program. Our first training date is February 21st and we will have completed all classes by March 14. They say we will be completely done with the entire paperwork and clearance process by the end of March. But I have to doubt the speed of the local government. They can't possibly move that fast.

So we mail back our acceptance letter and in 15 days attend our first class on parenting. Its a go folks. Wooo Hoooo!!!!

TnT

Our Home Visit

2009-01-27T08:59:00.000-05:00

I have to say, I did not think that I would be nervous over this visit but I was. Our Social Worker showed up two hours late, which intensified my anxiety. I had exhausted myself cleaning in my nervous frenzy. It is scarier than meeting your Mother in Law for the first time! All those feelings of what if they don't like me are hugely magnified. :-)

So we sat down and went over the program in detail and what was expected of us. (I will call our Social Worker either SW or Mrs. D) SW was extremely nice and I look forward to working with her. I love that she said she expects us to always answer our phone regardless of where we are at as we are parents and our children come first. That was big to me. Most people always want you to turn your phone off or ignore it, not her.

So after her speech she asked if we had any questions. Of course I did and so I asked about if she was going to inspect the house?

Mrs. D. responds, "No, I don't see the need for that!"

Me "Are you going to tell us what we need to baby proof or fix prior to the placement?"

Mrs. D "No, you have had 3 children I am sure at this point you know what is safe and what is not! It seems a little ridiculous to baby proof prior when we aren't sure when and what age the baby will be"

Me, "Oh from what I was told we would just baby proof and get a safety inspection prior and live like that."

Mrs. D "That is crazy you are experienced parents, no obvious problems I can see in your home it is just not something that is necessary. The only room I will check is the room the baby will sleep in."

Me "Oh, Well what about the married couple in our basement what will we need to do about that!"

Mrs. D "Do they have a separate entrance?"

Me "Yes"

Mrs. D "Well its their own dwelling so we don't need to worry about them."

Me "Well, what about that they babysit for us?"

Mrs. D "Well why don't we go ahead and do a background check on them."
"Any other questions?

So that is about how our home visit went. It was too funny. I don't think she went beyond the Dining Room. We do have two more visits one where she meets the boys and speaks to them. She said this is where she learns the most at this visit. Then the final visit to check the baby room and make sure we are ready.

At this point SW will write a report of our visit from Friday and then write the formal letter inviting us to the training on February 21st.

During this process time we have to do a background check, fingerprinting, an autobiography, and interview each of the boys and do a personality sheet on them as well. We have 8 days of training broken down for 7 weeks. They expect us to be done with training and our home visits by the end of March. What could take longer is the background check and finger printing, as it is from the police department and sent out so they have no control over when they get it back. So they think that by the end of April to mid-May we will be finished and open for placement. We will see if their estimate is correct.

So we are officially paper pregnant and working toward parenthood, again! :-)

TnT

Home Study Interview

2009-01-15T13:56:00.000-05:00

Well the county finally got back in touch with us after I emailed and called every number they gave me! :-) So after speaking with the county and with the private agency T and I have decided that we will go with the County program.

The main reason being is that the private agency is a therapeutic agency. This means that they will only receive high level need kids in the areas of medical needs and in behavior. That being said its not that we would not love this child with all our hearts but having lived separately for several years with Keebbie in and out of the Hospital in several different states. We just don't feel we could ask that of the boys to do it again knowingly.

So we have set up our training and our first home visit with the county. The county will come out NEXT Friday!!! This will be an initial interview with us and to just take a look at the house. We then are scheduled to begin training with them on February 21st! I can't believe how quickly things are moving once they decide to move. The training is about 9 weeks and our home study is done during that time. So we will be ready for child placement in about 4 to 6 months. Then the wait begins for the child God plans to bring into our home.

How can you be praying for us during this time....

Prayer for T.... and his job. He has just finished gathering his 15 years of work experience and such and handed it over to a professional resume writer that happens to be a good friend of ours. So he is projected to begin job hunting next week some time.

Pray for GAB that they will be patient during the training and wait as will I :-)
That they will not feel threatened or scared from the many new faces they will meet and be asking them so many questions. Specifically pray for G as he still DOES NOT like to talk about Keebie's hospital time and death. He will have to be interviewed by a social worker this topic will come up and I expect it will be difficult for him.

Pray for the child or children that will be coming into our home that we can demonstrate love and compassion to them. For them not to be fearful and feel very comfortable with us and our family.

Thanks everyone

TnT and GAB too

Our Meeting

2009-01-13T15:17:00.000-05:00

Well, we attended the meeting in winchester last night. I never realize how far away anything is since I rarely leave my little circle here in our area. It was far!

The meeting was full of great information. We were sent home with ten million pieces of paperwork to fill out. We have to decide on going with this agency that is private or going directly with the county. We are not sure of which way to go.

The one thing that T and I both left there thinking of how scary it seems at times. One thing that did interest both of us is the thought of taking on a pregnant teen. The sad situations they are facing just broke our hearts. As he was talking, that many of the teens they have in custody that are pregnant are because of being raped by their parents boyfriend. So they have been taken from their mother.

We have many questions to ask and many things to think about as we go forward. If we begin this program then the first training is January 31st. We would be licensed as soon as three months to take a child. So we are filling out papers and praying as to which way to go. Do we go with the state program or go with the private agency?

Any one out there having done this before what is the benefits of going with the private or state?

Thanks everyone,
TnT

So Much

2008-12-20T11:52:00.000-05:00

Well So much can change in a day. On Thursday of this week our main man T was laid off from his job that he has had for 15 years. We are heartbroken but not without hope. For we know that God will continue to provide for us as he always has.

We are still going to attend the meeting in January but are uncertain if we can continue with the foster program since he is out of work.

So we will keep you updated. Pray that God will provide a new job quickly for my wonderful husband.

All our love,
TnT

In January

2008-12-14T08:21:00.000-05:00

Well, we have another meeting with social workers and trainers to determine if this program is right for us, this meeting will take place in Winchester, VA on January 12Th. If this program is the one then we begin training on the following Saturdays. The training will be complete on February 14Th! What a perfect Valentine gift. What they tell us is that while we are completing the training the Home Study will be completed at the same time. Now, this being the government we are expecting many delays and lags in communication.

So that is what we have going on. The kids are so excited, before each meeting they ask if this is the meeting we are going to bring home a brother or sister! They are too cute.

I am still nervous but they tell us that is normal. That they would be concerned if we were not at the thought of having a child come into the home and have to give them back. We have learned a lot and in some ways I am feeling a little more comfortable after having time to review and read more about the process.

Well, we pray everyone has a very happy and Merry Christmas.

Love
T n T

The Meeting

2008-12-09T07:44:00.000-05:00

We attended the meeting last night. I have some mixed feelings about the meeting. In some ways I feel as though I am grieving the loss of my dream to adopt from Russia, and having a hard time with the whole foster process. Trav really likes the idea of the adoption through foster program. The chance to get to know the child and their personality, the opportunity to bond with them.

The adoption program does not have a child 0 to 5 available for adoption. So we will have to do a high risk adoption which is through the foster to adopt program. We will be with the foster program with the goal of Reunification of mother and child. So we will be taking the child to visits with the parent weekly. A Social worker will be coming out monthly to check on the child as well.

To begin we will have to take 27 hours of training, a home interview and home study that consists of everyone getting a background check. The dog will have to be cleared by the vet that she is safe and is up to date on her vaccinations. Everyone in the home as well will have to have a letter from the Doctor as well that all are healthy.

The training will begin in February so we have some time before this ride begins. I am most nervous about having a child in my arms and having to return them to their Mother or Father. Am I strong enough? No but praying that God will give me the strength to handle this heartache.

Terri

Informational meeting

2008-11-30T20:03:00.000-05:00

Well, a lot has changed in our thinking as you can tell from our blog title. We are now pursuing becoming a licenced foster to adopt foster parents. After much prayer and many different discussions, tons of research we have found that adoption is possible in the US. So we are going to stay in-country and try to adopt locally first.

We researched doing a straight adoption and found it to be just as expensive as an international adoption. This is just not something that is possible for us at this time. We may come back to it at a later time (when the economy is booming again! :)

But in the mean time, we begin training to become foster parents this month! So exciting to say the least. We are going to our first informational meeting in one week. We are counting down the days and are so anxious to get started.

We will do much better to keep you updated now that things are on a roll.

T n T and Family!

Narrowing down the long list

2008-10-08T05:29:00.000-04:00

So we started with a list of about 15 agencies. Travis and I had a list of questions as well and then we sent them off to each agency. From there we began researching the agencies and their reputations. So far we have it narrowed down to three agencies. Hopefully soon we will have an idea of who God is going to use to bring home our Princess!

Blessings.
Terri and Crew

Update:
We have spoken to all three agencies. After many discussions we believe that the international adoption is just not an option at this time. We are researching domestic adoption and also the foster programs. We will keep you updated.

This week we began

2008-09-27T21:43:00.000-04:00

This week we began researching the international adoption agencies. So far we have limited our selection between two different agencies. We have learned a lot about the process.

Home study 1 to 3 months
I 600A paperwork depends upon state
Agency choice
Russian program fees
Average wait time
Travel costs
Total estimated adoption costs

With that we are going to work on saving up the money so our plan is to begin our home study by April or May of 2009. So we will not have to much to report until that time. In the mean time I will be collecting websites and information about adoption and attachment.

T n T :)

Our Story Begins

2008-09-18T17:04:00.000-04:00

We are a family of five working on becoming a family of six. We have 3 boys and are looking at adopting a little girl or boy possibly from Russia.