Live, Love, Laugh

Come on over!!!

2015-03-11T05:17:00.003-07:00

Wow! I haven't been here in a while! I wanted to invite all of you over to my new blog... I've noticed that there is still a LOT of traffic through this site. I am so happy you continue to visit. Please click on the link above and join me on my new journey!

See you there...

i am turning the page

2013-12-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

My son is learning to love chapter books! You can imagine how this excites me. Each night he chooses a book and we read a chapter together. It is so much fun for me, given my LOVE for books! I can remember being young and learning to read. Chapter books were always my favorite. JP and I were recently in the library when I found a rather large book that I knew he would enjoy. However when I showed it to him, he looked almost afraid. "Oh mommy! I could never read that book...it's too big for me!" I explained to him that, that was not true at all. You just had to read one chapter at a time.

Isn't that also true in life? If you try to figure everything out all at once, it is so overwhelming! Much too big for us. But if you focus on living one day at a time (sometimes, one hour at a time), all of a sudden, it doesn't seem so impossible.

I have come to the end of a very long chapter in my life. It's time to turn the page. Part of the next chapter is the opening of my new blog. I said that I would explain the name on this site, but I have decided against it. The explanation of the title is written in the body of the post. I would like to thank all of you, my readers, for your constant support. You have been amazing and I will always cherish this blog and everything it has meant to me. Now, my prayer is that you choose to follow me through the remainder of my story. I love all of you.

Click on the link below.

the Land of Judah

we are home (next to last post)

2013-12-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

What a week!! I hope that everyone had an amazing Thanksgiving holiday! I have to say, mine was not quite as sad and emotional as I had anticipated. Don't get me wrong...I had a few moments. However, as a whole, it was very nice.

As I mentioned before, I spent most of this week at the beach. How could it be bad, right?!! The ocean is SO healing for me. I try to spend as much time there as possible. (Looks like I'll be leaving for Chucktown aka Charleston on the 13th!) I can smell the air on Sullivans Island already....Mmm.

Here are a few pics from the week:

These pictures are a little out of order. JP was with me the first part of the week. We drove home for Thanksgiving day. JP went to be with his dad and we enjoyed a meal with my dad's side of the family. Not having JP with me was definitely not ideal, but he was happy... and that's all that matters to me at this point. After our dinner, we loaded up Preston and headed back down to the coast for the remainder of the week. Preston had a great time! He was really cute toting his football around everywhere.

Here are the boys on Thanksgiving day. I am SO thankful for them both! They bring such joy (and chaos) to our lives...

We are home now. I have a LOT of cleaning and organizing to do. I have had a pretty hard time getting into the Christmas spirit. Everything is so different now. I have decided that, rather than stay "blue" about the changes, I am going to begin brand new traditions. I am not teaching tomorrow, so I plan to spend the majority of my day getting the house ready to decorate. Dad and Laurie will be working tomorrow evening, so mom, the boys and I are going to put up the trees and watch a Christmas movie. I may even have to introduce JP to hot chocolate! Saturday night we are going to see the Roper Mountain Christmas lights and visit Santa. That's always fun. When school lets out, Kerri and I are taking our boys over to Kathi's house for more Christmas movies and cookie baking... This will be new and I am REALLY excited about it! We're calling it Kookies at Kathi's. Extremely cheesy, I know. But who cares?! The boys will have a blast.

I also have to spend a part of the week studying for my final exam in my medical class. It is next week. UGH. I will be so happy when this is over. I have terrible test anxiety. It looks like I will celebrate the end of the semester at the beach! I look forward to that.

Alright. I originally said that I would only post once more to this blog, but I wanted to go ahead and do the Thanksgiving/beach trip recap. I DO have the name of my new blog. I am SO EXCITED about it!! Unfortunately, I will not share it until I am ready to open up the site. I am working on it NOW. In the beginning, it is just going to be a BlogSpot address like this one. Eventually, I hope to change it to an actual website address. I still have not decided which one I want to use. My last post on this blog will be this week. In it, I will share with you the name of the new blog and the meaning behind it. God revealed it to me this past week. I had a whole other name ready and actually ON the header of the blog. After being introduced to this one, I have not been able to get it out of my head. It is based on a scripture that has brought so much peace and comfort to me recently. It is very special and I cannot wait to share it with you.

Well, that's all I have for now. HAPPY MONDAY, friends!

the results are in

2013-11-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

I do not have time to write tonight, but I promised a decision by Monday, so here goes:

I will be closing out THIS blog and beginning a new one. After a unanimous response from you guys, I will not make the new blog PRIVATE. It will take me a little while to sort out the details, so I will ask you to, once again, be patient with me.

JP and I will be at the beach the majority of this week. We will return Thanksgiving day to enjoy a meal with our family. And then we'll head back to the ocean for an extended weekend. I will not be writing/or working on the blog during this time. I am going to do my very best to enjoy my holiday. For several reasons, this is a difficult holiday season for me...that is why I am ESCAPING as much as possible for the next two months!

I wish each and every one of you a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!! Before I open the new site, I will post ONCE MORE on here. I will explain to you the reason for my decision and give you the name of the new blog. Once it is up and running, I will provide a link on THIS page for you to use.

HAPPY MONDAY FRIENDS!

closing

2013-11-18T20:21:00.000-08:00

After careful thought and lots of prayer, I have decided to close out this blog. My decision is based on many factors. This blog was originally started to chronicle our journey to adopt JP from Guatemala. I plan to turn that portion of this site into a book for JP to have when he is older. That was my original intent. Over time, I have kept you up to date with the happenings of my family and hopefully provided you with a little encouragement and inspiration along the way.

Well, now my family dynamics have changed. In closing out that chapter of my life, I feel that it is an appropriate time for me to close out this blog.

I want to thank all of you out there and around the world who have read and supported my thoughts and my family for almost SEVEN years! Your faithfulness astounds me, and your prayer support has kept me going. I have received messages and emails throughout this journey that I will forever cherish.

I have a couple of new ideas I am currently praying about. I really do love to blog. So, I am thinking of starting up a whole new blog in honor of this new life I have been handed. I already have several names I am rolling around in my head. It may take me a little time to decide how exactly I want to go about this. Another thing I am trying to decide is, whether or not to keep my blog public. That's a very big decision. If I went "private" with the site, you would have to have permission to read it. Inevitably there would probably be a lot of you who would not request permission, therefore you would no longer follow me. That part makes me really sad. But, there are obvious privacy and safety reasons for making a blog private.

So, here's the deal. I am going to leave this post up for ONE WEEK. I would LOVE your input on this. I guess you could say that I am going to take a poll. I will leave my email at the bottom of this post for those of you who I do not message with by phone or see on a regular basis.

DO I LEAVE THE BLOG PUBLIC FOR THE READERS WHO ARE LITERALLY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GLOBE TO ENJOY?

OR

DO I GO PRIVATE AND ONLY ALLOW "INVITED" READERS TO FOLLOW MY FAMILY?

If you are a faithful follower, I expect your input. I am excited about the changes that God is bringing forth in my life. Changing up my online "journal" is just one of many! I will make my decision Monday, November 25th.

Email me your thoughts...

acbeam3@yahoo.com

Thanks in advance for your time!

life is an adventure (or at least my NEW life will be!)

2013-11-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here in my room. I have music playing softly in the background. John Mayer on Pandora, to be exact. It's Sunday evening and I have done NOTHING today. Literally, nothing. I didn't even leave the house to go to church. It's been the longest week ever. Not just for me, but for my whole family. Our Daddy O's passed away on Wednesday. We celebrated his life Friday afternoon. Thursday I spent the afternoon in Family Court. That was a blast. I am legally and officially divorced.

Eeek.

Anyway, there were some really good things that came out of this week.

I had the opportunity to spend most of the week with my favorite people in the whole world. My second family. Jeffrey and D.J. (pictured left) came in to town. It's always good to see them. JP loves D.J.! Grandmother (in the middle, Daddy O's' wife) actually came out to dinner with us. It was good for her to get out of her house for a little while. She is doing well, but continue to pray for her. She has a long road ahead of her.

Laurie and Jeffrey...these two have been T.R.O.U.B.L.E since birth.

And here are the PERFECT children. Since birth. (Hehehehe)

Between the funeral and my court hearing I am emotionally drained. I woke up this morning and didn't feel like I could do anything. Or face anyone. I guess that sounds crazy, but it's how I felt. We were supposed to go to Pawley's Island this weekend, but I am going to reschedule another trip. Hopefully some time in December, before Christmas. We leave next Monday and head to Myrtle Beach for the week of Thanksgiving. I am looking forward to spending time there. We have not been to mom and dad's condo in a long time. I hope that the weather cooperates. It will be a nice time of relaxation.

How true is this statement?! Since my separation, I have set a handful of new goals for myself. One of them is to travel more. My best friends will be in France over the next couple of years. JP and I will definitely be visiting them. More than once! I am also looking forward to taking JP to visit Guatemala. I am not sure when that will happen, I just know it's going to. These two big trips will have to be scheduled around my school calendar, but be sure that I will let you know when they take place! Exciting!

In the meantime, I will be planning a Weekend Road Trip once a month. In December, we will be enjoying Dollywood again. January, I hope to head back to Pawley's and in February, my girls and I are taking a (no children aloud) weekend trip to Charleston. To name a few...

So I don't plan to.

My devotion for today went like this:

" Follow Me. No matter where I lead you, just follow Me. Don't worry about how everything will turn out. Just trust Me, and I'll show you the way.

Think of your life as an adventure, with Me as your guide and companion. Don't worry about where our path will lead tomorrow - just live in the adventure of today. Keep your mind on staying close to Me.

If our path takes us to the bottom of a steep cliff, don't be afraid...just hold on tightly to My hand and take a deep breath. I'll help you climb all the way up to the top. And when we come to a peaceful resting place, stop there a while and rest with Me.

You already know where our journey will end. Someday I will take you into Heaven. But, for now, just follow Me as I guide You along today's path. And enjoy the adventures you share with Me."

How fitting.

Happy Monday everyone! Enjoy your adventure TODAY and let's be thankful for a brand new week.

a very heavy heart

2013-11-12T00:00:00.000-08:00

My emotions are all over the map tonight. I will attend a funeral Wednesday for an extraordinary woman. It is my understanding that there is most probably another funeral that will take place in the near future for a very dear friend who is reaching the finish line in his race with cancer. Thursday, I will finally close the door on a part of my life that no longer exists.

My heart is very heavy.

I am more thankful now than ever for my salvation and my faith. Life is short, guys. And God is making it very clear to me that the things I think are so important on this Earth...they aren't so important in light of eternity.

I will not be posting again until next week. Thanks for your patience and your support.

Have a great rest-of-the-week!

good monday morning to you

2013-11-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

I am going to go ahead and get this first picture out of the way. Go ahead and take your cell phones out and snap a picture or right click the image and save it, because this is something you will NEVER see again!

I hope that my OTHER mom and dad get a kick out of seeing me in this hideous sweatshirt. I went to Kathi and Dave's to watch THE HEAT (again) Friday night after we had dinner. I had on fairly nice clothes, so Kathi asked if I would like something more comfortable to put on. I, of course, said yes. And this is what she brings me....with a big fat smile on her face! You see the type harassment I have to put up with??!! GO GAMECOCKS!

For dinner we tried to go to Tupelo Honey Café downtown. Apparently they are having to undergo unexpected construction on the inside of their building. I didn't really understand what it was about, but nevertheless it was closed-- BOO! We ended up at Carolina Ale, which of course, is never a bad thing as far as I am concerned. You really cannot go wrong eating there...

*I love this picture of my two girls... they look so happy!*

Saturday was the Florida Georgia Line concert.

Our evening began at Mellow Mushroom (yum!). The wait was for the birds, but the food was awesome. I do not eat there often, but each time I have, I really enjoy the food.

Now, on to the concert review. This will surprise some of you, I'm sure.

I am not familiar with Colt Ford at all. After his part of the show, I know why. He is terrible. If any of you are fans, I am terribly sorry, but seriously?? He CLEARLY is not able to carry a tune, so he (I guess you could call it) raps?! It was very strange and I did not care for him AT ALL.
Tyler Farr was there as well and sang Redneck Crazy. And I DO love that song!
Here is the disappointing part. I think I would much rather listen to FGL on the radio, or CD. Their voices didn't sound bad and the harmonies were good, but they were sort of all over the place. I cannot really put my finger on it. They sang Cruise at the very end of the night and I will say that it was well worth the wait. I don't think I would rush to see them again. Sad, I know. I was so excited.
Finally, overall, the sound was SO FREAKING LOUD. I would blame this on me "getting old," but I have seen Lady Antebellum, Thompson Square, Darius Rucker AND Kenny Chesney at the same location and loved every minute of it. The acoustics were ear piercing. Even when they were talking in the mic, I couldn't understand one word they said.

Unfortunately, I would have to give the night a 7 out of 10 stars. And that is mainly because I loved the company I was with! I am certain there are people out there that would call me insane. In fact, I am positive. I have seen them all over social media. This, however, is my opinion. Not really worth much, I know.

Well, that's about it. I have an early day tomorrow and for obvious reasons, a very long and emotional week ahead of me. Thanks, again, for your prayer support.

I will leave you with a quote I found today on a friend's facebook page: I love it!

Such a TRUE statement. And, once again, I am a blessed girl.

happy friday, ya'll

2013-11-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I went over to have dinner with a sweet friend of mine. I L.O.V.E her little girl!

Seriously. Does it get any cuter than this?! Her name is Maddie and she is such a precious little thing.

I don't have much to write tonight, folks. It's been a VERY long week. I did make an A on my medical research paper! That was such a burden lifted off my shoulders. And I plan on celebrating in a BIG way this weekend!!! Hanging with my girls tomorrow (Friday) night and partying with Florida Georgia Line Saturday night!

It's gonna be a GREAT weekend!

learning to see things through a different set of eyes

2013-11-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

"Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life." James 1:12

Every parent of an elementary school age child hates the school car line. If you show up too early, you are in the longest line ever. If you show up too late, you have to go into the school and retrieve your waiting child from the office. It's a lose/lose situation. And I definitely HATE it. Having said that, I snapped this picture on my phone while waiting in the car line to pick up JP the other afternoon. If this is not a picture of God, then I don't know what is.

I am usually reading two or three books at one time. I cannot remember where I saw this, (although I am almost positive it wasn't in my James Patterson novel), but recently I read how one sure way to change your attitude towards your circumstances, or situation, is to get in the habit of thanking God for the gifts He's given you. So, I have really been trying hard (because it's much easier to complain) to focus on the good in my life. And not JUST in my life, but life in general. As crappy as life seems at times, there is a lot of good to be seen. And appreciated. So, while I was sitting in the dreadful line, I was thankful that God pointed this picture out to me. It was a beautiful reminder.

I found this quote yesterday. LOVE IT. And there have been SO many people who have made me smile in recent days. In fact, I am smiling now just thinking about it.

Keeping the thankful/blessed theme going, mom reminded me that I had not shared the pictures I took last Saturday at my aunt's house with the little cousins...

BJay and Lindi Rose --- like father, like daughter. I will leave it at that!! Love them both.

Our little Gamecock driving off on his motorcycle. Can you imagine Preston on a real motorcycle. Eeek!

And yes I was lying on my back in the middle of the driveway. Just because it felt good and I was enjoying the view...

I have to also credit my new "appreciation" for life to Billy Graham. He has written, what is probably his last, book and it is now in stores...soon to be in my hands. The Reason for My Hope is a book about salvation. I read an interview with Billy Graham and several other ministry leaders online. They were all giving their opinions on why they felt the end of the world was approaching. It was so fascinating to listen to. To top it off, the pastor at my church preached the same sermon this past week! I know that none of us know when Jesus is returning, but after listening to these men, I cannot help but think that it's close! The signs are in front of us and the Old Testament prophesies are being fulfilled. I share all of that to say this... All the things that I am worried about do not matter. The burdens that weigh me down, they do not matter. The thoughts that run through my mind keeping me awake at night, they do not matter.

"So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:17

That realization is so freeing for me. And I hope it is for you as well.

Okay, I think that's all for now. I hope that all of you have a very HAPPY THURSDAY!

halloween and a little bit of our week

2013-11-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Every Halloween we go to Earle Street here in Greenville to trick or treat. It is close to downtown and it's awesome! The police block off each end of the road and just about every house participates. It is seriously like one big block party! I graduated high school with a girl who lives on the street and I am so thankful she introduced me to the idea. There are always people grilling out, lots of music and this year there was even a lady eating FIRE! Yep, you read that correctly. Weird, I know...but it's Halloween!

My mom and sister brought Preston this year. It took him a little while to understand the concept of trick or treating, but once he got it down he left us in the dust! (Until he saw an adult with a mask on....)

Friday night JP and I went to our friend's house for a home-cooked spaghetti dinner -- Y.U.M! It was a really nice, relaxing evening complete with a LOT of laughter. As always. At dinner, I mentioned that I was going to take JP to get his hair cut. The next thing I knew, my awesome friend John, had him on a stool on the back deck cutting his hair for me. Have I mentioned to you before how blessed I am with amazing friends?! Just checkin'...

Didn't he do a great job?! My little man is growing up too fast! And he sure loves his John.

Saturday we met Kerri and the boys at the park. They recently bought a new golden retriever puppy. His name is Charlie and he is adorable. JP was in heaven!

That's Andrew sitting on my lap. And yes, he is in a Halloween costume. Don't ask!

A couple random pics from the week...

I L.O.V.E, love this picture. They were playing so well together Saturday morning. I don't remember, but I am sure it didn't last too long! Such sweet smiles!!

Here's our little Gamecock football player! GO COCKS!! This little two year old can throw a football...it is amazing! (Just not in the house)

That pretty much sums up our weekend. Mike, John and I sang in church Sunday. It was so much fun. And so therapeutic for me. I finally agreed to join the praise band. I LOVE to sing, but I am really DUMB when it comes to music. I cannot read it, I rarely hear it. I am a nightmare when it comes to singing with a group. I pretty much can hear a song on the radio and sing it to you...that's the extent of my talent. But, I gave in. I am glad I did. I love everyone in the group. I think it will be a lot of fun.

I began reading through the book of Job. I would encourage all of you to do that. I read through it once when we were in the middle of our adoption process. I am really enjoying it. The message God is giving me is completely different this time around -- funny how that happens! It really is the LIVING Word.

I ran across a quote this week that caught my attention:

Or sometimes it may be one hour at a time. My court date, as I shared last week, is rapidly approaching. My emotions have been all over the place. I will not even try to explain how I feel. Most of you wouldn't understand anyway. That's the worst part. I am surrounded by the most amazing family, and friends most people would give their right arm to have. Yet, it has been so difficult not having someone to talk to who really knows and understands how I am feeling. In one respect maybe that's a good thing. I am having to learn to be completely dependent on God. Although I love Him with all my heart, that doesn't come naturally.

Here is one of my quiet times from this week:

"There will be good days and there will be bad days. But God is in all days! He is the Lord of the famine and the feast and He uses BOTH to accomplish His will!"

Bottom line? I am a very, very small part of a very large picture. And although I may not see the completed puzzle here on Earth, I trust God with my pieces. My final hearing will be held next week. I will ask you to pray for me. It will not be an easy thing for me to do.

On a happier note, when it's over I am packing my car, grabbing my most precious gift and heading to the Island again. Ocean therapy. It's good for the soul, and the spirit.

This weekend I will be going to the cabin on Keowee for a night of laughter and CRAZY, funny movies! And then, of course, Saturday night is the Florida Georgia Line concert. Needless to say, I am looking forward to the weekend.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY everyone!

a new wave

2013-11-01T03:33:00.000-07:00

I am not doing Friday favorites today. I'll most probably resume that next week....maybe.

JP's mouth is full of sores right now. I feel pretty sure it is a result of new medicine he is taking. He is pitiful. On the way to pick him up early from school today, dad and I stopped at the drug store to get a special mouth wash and gel for him to use. Once we got home, I made him use the rinse. "Ahhh, mommy it hurts so bad!!" He screamed. "I know, baby, and I am so sorry. But, sometimes you have to hurt a little bit before you can heal."

At this point, I wasn't so sure I was referring to his mouth.

My divorce attorney called me this morning with a court date for my final hearing. I am not sure when I was expecting "the call," It caught me off guard. I knew it was going to happen in the near future, but I definitely wasn't prepared for the wave of emotion that has accompanied it. I guess it sounds weird, but I LITERALLY feel like someone close to me has just died. I have a HUGE lump in my throat, a knot in the pit of my stomach and my chest feels tight. Because JP came home early today, I am carrying these feelings around and have no place to dump them. Like always, I have to hold it together. When you're a full time mommy, you do not have the luxury of falling apart. At least not when you really need to.

It hurts.

I am sharing this with you because I will need you to be patient with me. I have been posting every day and I am enjoying it. However, I am not sure how I will feel tomorrow. Or the next day. My writing may be sporadic. I apologize for that. I am sitting in, what feels like, a VERY lonely place. Like I said, I feel like I am experiencing a death of a loved one or something. In some ways, I suppose that's what this is.

My life, as I've known it for the past twelve years is dead.

keisha kirkland

2013-10-31T00:00:00.002-07:00

It was all over the news today. "Local news personality loses her battle with cancer." It is definitely a sad day for her family and friends. I did not realize that her daughter was so young. Cancer is such a terrible disease. I am saddened for the Kirkland family. It is a great loss and my prayer is that God will show His face daily and allow them to feel His presence and experience peace in their lives.

Having said all of that, I have to share with you my initial reaction to the article on the WYFF4 website. Keisha Kirkland "loses" her battle with cancer. Really?! While her time on this Earth certainly came to an end, I would have to disagree...

^"As for me, my life has already been poured out as an offering to God. The time of my death is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return." 2 Timothy 4:6-8

From where I sit, she definitely won.

just another wednesday post

2013-10-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

Said the writer.

I don't even know how to caption this one. It is a pretty simple truth.

I have definitely stepped into the boat and am drifting off into the sea of brand new things. And it is BEYOND exciting!

Enough said.

Sometimes you really do just need a hug. A big one.

And I am not going to wait anymore. I am moving along. With a big 'ole smile on my face (most days!).

I am not completely resigned to this one as of yet. But it sounds good, right?!

This one is my favorite for this week! It makes me grit my teeth and smile all at the same time. There are always going to be those people who cannot find the time to keep in touch with you. Even though they "really want to."

My mom will be thrilled (not!) with all of the quotes. I cannot help it. I am obsessed. Most of them just make me feel good! I spend so much time, that I don't have, searching the internet for profound quotes such as these. I really enjoy reading them, so why not force them on you as well! :)

Today I learned that I don't hate fifth graders. LOL. I have shared with you before how I am enjoying teaching in regular ed. classes. I do not teach anything over third grade. Except for today. I (like always) did my mom a favor and agreed to be in a fifth grade classroom for part of the morning. And I ACTUALLY liked it!! I think I would consider doing it again!

I realized something today that really gave me butterflies. I just got back from Pawley's Island. Next month I will be spending Thanksgiving in Myrtle Beach. In December I am heading back to Dollywood, and today, some friends and I began planning a February trip to Charleston. EEEK!!!! That, my cyber friends, would be the sound of sheer excitement! YOLO baby. (You Only Live Once)

I think I will close tonight by sharing some prayer requests with you. I have not done that in a very long time. So many of you contact me via email or text messaging and offer encouragement and support. It means so much! I definitely covet your prayers. Here goes:

Always pray for me to recognize (and accept) God's plan for my future.
My college classes.
JP to have continued success in second grade.
JP is having issues sleeping again. This has been a very long and exhausting battle for me.
Last week I was made aware of an opportunity... I am praying about joining the writing team at my church's main campus. I think it could be very exciting!
My family as a whole.
My ~~other~~ dad, Dale and his family. His father is sick with Cancer. Pray for his comfort, and peace for the entire family.
I, along with Mike and John (I think), will be singing this Sunday.
And many, many unspoken requests.

That's all for now, folks. I hope everyone has an amazing Wednesday. Just one more day until HALLOWEEN!

do you hear the birds?

2013-10-29T00:00:00.002-07:00

I met her in the nursing home last week while visiting with family. She rolled herself into the room where we were sitting and talking. She was quiet. When she spoke, I could barely hear her. And when I did, nothing she said made sense. She didn't stay long...she was on a mission. She wanted out. From her wheelchair, she made her way over to the door, setting off the alarm more than once.

She wanted outside. A staff member finally came over and raised the blinds so that she could see out. And while her only view was a parking lot filled with cars, it seemed to make her happy. If only for a moment.

They pushed his wheelchair out onto the patio of the rehabilitation facility. Cancer took up residence in his body two years ago and he is tired. It is a beautiful day. He closes his eyes to enjoy the fresh air while his son and daughter in law are engaged in a conversation. "Can you hear them?" he whispers. "Can we hear what, daddy?" replied the son. "The birds."

I was sitting across the table from him. I never heard the birds.

If I could share one thing with you today, it would be this: Open your eyes to everything and everyone that is around you and do not take your gifts for granted. This has been the recurring theme of my spirit lately. Maybe because I have experienced so much loss this year. Or maybe because I am watching my loved ones care for their loved one who has very little time left here on this Earth. Or could it be that, while watching the sweet lady fail in her attempt to taste the outdoors, I knew I was on my way to the beach that afternoon.

God is really trying to show me that, while I spend a lot of my time boxed inside the small, stuffy room of worry, life is steady passing me by. There is so much around me to enjoy. Both people and places. And I consistently take it all for granted.

Life is beautiful. LIFE IS SHORT.

The precious souls mentioned above do not know one another. I am sure that their life stories are very different. However, they do have one thing in common. While I am driving (slowly) down the highway of healing, their directions for me would be the exact same.

Stop and listen to the birds.

pawley's island

2013-10-28T00:00:00.001-07:00

We had a wonderful weekend on the Island. As always, it was a much needed break from reality. I was sort of like a dog this (Sunday) morning, driving down the frontage road with the windows down and the sun roof up...I almost hung my head out the window to let the wind blow through my hair! Literally... there is little in life that compares to the smell of salt air. At least in my opinion there isn't. Heaven.

I took these pictures this morning while a lot of you were in church! (Smile!) My sanctuary looked better than yours. Just sayin'.

Again, we had such a nice time. Jackson and JP had a lot of fun on the way down... Megan and I were ready to start drinking after four hours in the car with them, but we survived! As you can see, pictured above, JP lost another tooth. He is growing up way too fast for me!

This week is a busy one for me. I am teaching THREE days, which I try NOT to do. I am a sucker for certain schools, I guess. I get caught up doing "favors" for people. (wink, mom) I have a quiz, a test and a research paper this week. Eeek! It will all work out. I will just have to take another mini vacation when it's done to recover... Poor me, right?

My Thursday night writing class is over. I am so sad about that... I thoroughly enjoyed it. I completed (well, almost) my manuscript for the first children's book. It will be ready to be shipped off (hopefully) by next week. My instructor had a GREAT idea for one part of the story, so mom and I need to re-write the small part. It shouldn't be a big deal. I am super excited!!

Well, I gotta run take my test... I will leave you with a few more beach pics.

This would be me and Megan relaxing on the beach. A perfect evening...

And a perfect sunset

JP was pooped... Gracie is a Clemson fan, so we dressed her in South Carolina attire for the night! GO COCKS!! (Hal is burning a hole through the back of my head b/c he said he was tired of feeling like the paparazzi was following him around! LOL ) Oh well, too bad!

We found TONS of starfish... JP loved it!

JP, Jackson and Hal throwing the cage in to catch crabs

Love these two! I am so blessed.

HAPPY MONDAY, friends!

i love... (friday favorites)

2013-10-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

To read, write, learn, study, educate

To laugh with my son

To eat peanut butter pretzels

To look at Kip Moore

To support Guatemalan adoption

To see how my other children have grown into such beautiful people

To see how much my baby has grown

To spend time with my cousins

To ride roller coasters

To walk around Furman

To be on the beach at Pawley's Island

To sit on the rocks at Jones Gap

To swing at the playground

To hold these babies

To be a part of important events in my (extended) family's life

I spend a lot of time sharing my (broken) heart with you guys and not nearly enough time sharing how unbelievably blessed I am. My mom and I were talking just this week about how blessed I am to have the best friends that I do. I do not take that for granted. I am fully aware that there are people all around me who are not fortunate enough to have ONE best friend, much less several!

There is NO WAY in the world I could do life WITHOUT these girls. We have literally been through life, death, heartache and laughter together... And I look forward to living the rest of my life alongside them!

Yes I do!!

...and my other sister and brother (not the greatest picture, but the only recent one of us all four together.)

Obviously, in addition to my best friends and my sister and family, I am BEYOND blessed with a mom and a dad who support me through thick and thin. And then some. My mom is my number one best gal and my dad is my hero. In more ways than one.

Believe it or not, I could go on. I will stop for now...this is most probably boring to you. It was very therapeutic for me, so it's worth every minute!

That's this week's Friday Favorites! Have a super weekend!

i love c.s lewis

2013-10-24T00:00:00.001-07:00

My favorite is the last one. I am filled with many desires. Much pain. And, some days, little comfort. I began praying for God to fill me with His peace. The kind that "passes all understanding." As I have been praying this, God brings 1 Peter 2:11 to my mind.

^"Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it."

This explains a LOT.

i need to change

2013-10-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

JP began pleading with me to watched more television before he even finished his shower. "Mom! Come here, please! I need to ask you a question.." I didn't bother going back into the bathroom after the second time. "Please let me watch just one more show!" He would scream. His question never changed.

I didn't want to ignore him. But, I had already given my answer. I wasn't trying to be mean, I just know what's best for him. I know how much sleep he needs in order to be productive in school. He turned off the water, dried himself off and brushed his teeth. I told him to tell everyone night and meet me in the bedroom. I could hear him stomping through the house. By the time he reached the bedroom though, he smiled at me. That was odd, given how mad he was. "JP, I like your smile. Are you not mad at me anymore?" I asked.

There was a profound message for me in his response. "Mommy, I was so mad because you wouldn't let me watch television or play on my iPad, but God changed my heart so now I have a better attitude."

And this "just happened" to be our devotion before bed:

"You don't like it when your plans are messed with. You had a goal in mind, but I said, 'Not now.' When you don't get to do what you want, you feel like stomping your foot and yelling. But instead you get angry. I want you to let that frustration out -- to me. I'll understand, and I'll help you sort through it..."

I know I do not like to have my plans messed with. My plans have blown up in my face! I am learning the hard way that God isn't always going to change my circumstances. And when that's the case, I need to be more like my son. I need to allow God to change ME!

Oh how I love my child.

2013-10-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

have you seen God lately? (and a little from my weekend)

2013-10-20T19:06:00.001-07:00

This was a really great weekend. Friday, my best friend Kerri and I took our boys on a day trip to Dollywood!

We had an amazing time together. Although, I will tell you that we are planning a trip with JUST US GIRLS!!! SOON! But, it is the most awesome feeling to have friends who are really like your family to spend time with. I love these guys so much, and am so thankful for the time we have to spend together. Especially when you are walking down tough roads in life.

Saturday I spent the day with more ~~friends~~ family in Clemson. Yes, you heard me correctly. And I will ONLY say this one time... I had a great time. They do know how to throw a party! It was very exciting, from the tailgating to the parade. Kathi's son, Daniel, is in the Tiger band. It was fun to watch him perform. (And stalk him through the parade...) We were literally walking within the band as they marched down the hill taking pictures of Daniel while they played. I'm sure he wasn't embarrassed at all!

This morning, I woke up and took LOADS of Ibuprofen in order to make it through church. Remind me NEVER to attempt Dollywood and Death Valley back to back ever again. My whole body hurts today! Luckily, JP came home from his dad's really sleepy. We spent the majority of the afternoon in bed. I am not really at a point in my life where being in bed is good for me. I begin to get sad and anxious. Once we woke up, the boys ate dinner, and I took them outside to play. I had prayed for God to lift my spirits.

He showed me His face within the faces of our beautiful boys!

And I thanked Him for it.

This will be my final comment/quote about people walking in and out of your life. I had to post this one though, because it is so, so, very TRUE. Especially THIS year. And recently. God has been showing me lately how I have devoted far too much of my time to these "friends." You probably have encountered them in your life as well. They say all the right things. And dangle just enough of themselves in your life to keep you hanging on to the relationship, (and I use that term loosely), when in reality they have no intention or are incapable of being there for you. It hurts, for sure. But God continues to remind me time and time again that He does not want me to waste time OR tears on these people. So I have set a goal for myself to work on this in the next few weeks. It is easier said than done. Unfortunately, in my case anyway, you already have so much emotion invested in them, it's tough to pull back. But you have to. They have.

Alright....I said far more than I intended to on that subject. It is a post in and of itself! My heart is so sensitive these days. In my daily quiet time, this is what God and I are working on together. I need to let go of some things. And people. I've already been forced to let go of so much, you would think it would get easier. It doesn't. In saying that, I will COVET your prayers, please! Pray that I will FORGET what/who needs to be forgotten and FOCUS only on what/who is in front of me. Thanks!!!

Happy Monday, friends!

friday favorites

2013-10-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

A few of my favorite pictures:

A few of my favorite quotes/funnies:

Happy Friday, friends!! JP and I will be in Tennessee while you are reading this! See ya Monday!

it's the day before friday!

2013-10-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yay!! It's Thursday, and that means that tomorrow is FRIDAY! Woohoo! What are your weekend plans?? Anything exciting? My best friend, Kerri, and I are taking our boys to Dollywood for the day tomorrow. I am SO excited! If you've never been to Dollywood, you really should go. I guess if you don't like country music or the Smokey Mountains, it may not be your thing.... but it is so much fun!

On the way back Friday night we are dropping JP off to spend the remainder of the weekend with his dad, so I am not sure what's on my agenda for Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes no plans are the best plans of all, right?

I have deactivated my facebook account long enough for me to change a few of the settings. Because of this, I have had to figure out a way to move pictures from my phone to my computer. Although I can blog and use social media, I am NOT AT ALL what you would call a tech savvy person. With my dad's help, I think I did figure it out. I wasn't able to download all of my pictures from my Android...would anyone like to guess how many pictures I have on my phone??? SIXTY FIVE HUNDRED! YIKES! I think I need to delete just a few. LOL Anyway, because I wasn't sure how to transport the photos, I took my Nikon camera with me when JP and I went downtown this afternoon. I love my camera, but have gotten out of the habit of using it because, to be honest, my phone takes great pictures. I will share a few of those pictures shortly...

My day began early. As always. Dad and I took the boys to school and went to Riverside for our ~~very big~~ famous breakfast! I then came home, cleaned a little and headed out the door to "work." My office of choice today was a little Coffee/Tea place at the West End of downtown.

Not only was I very productive with my writing and studying for my medical class, but I did all of this while drinking SWEET TEA! I was in heaven. I will definitely go there again. It was so peaceful and the food was good too. I had (homemade) pimento cheese on Italian tomato bread. Wow. It was yummy. And big. I brought half of it home.

After I picked JP up from school we went downtown to hang out for the afternoon/evening. The weather was perfect.

We walked all over downtown. Beforehand, we ate at a pizza place while people-watching. So fun! And can I just tell you that a salad and diet Coke tastes so much better when you're sitting on Main Street. I love where I live!!

And of course after dinner JP had to roll down the hill in the middle of Falls Park. Boys! (And bug bites!)

That was my day. So much nicer than yesterday. Thank God. I will leave you with a few up and coming events I am excited about. I have shared some of them before, but because I am EXCITED I am sharing them again...

DOLLYWOOD on Friday!
Next Friday, JP and I are heading to Pawley's Island for the weekend with friends!
Every morning I wake up, the Florida Georgia Line concert is closer. Eeeek!
Tomorrow night in class, we are actually making "dummy" books with our manuscripts! It is closer and closer to being finished! Makes my heart race!
I found a new book I am about to buy at the Christian bookstore. It is called God Loves Broken People by Sheila Walsh. Cannot wait to read it!
I am three pages in to my new children's book. I described the book in the post that my mother made me delete. Most of you probably didn't have time to read it before I removed it from the site. I cannot write about it, but I will tell you that it is a children's book that JP and I are writing TOGETHER! It's going to be amazing. And fun. JP writing a book...can you imagine? LOL

That's all for now. I hope everyone has a very happy Thursday!

that's God

2013-10-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

Edited to add: I write the majority of my posts beforehand, as you probably have figured out. Because of this, I often read and re-read them again before they are scheduled to post to the blog. In doing this, recently I have become aware of how the tone might come across. They seem, at times, to be so negative. I thought of apologizing for that, but then I reminded myself that this blog serves as a journal for me. If I ever close it out, my goal will be to put it in some form of a "book" for JP to have when he's older. These are my feelings. My thoughts. And just like everyone else, sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am sad. My world has been shaken this past year and although I would like to think that I am doing very well, I have days when Satan attacks me in very real ways. The past few days have been that way for me. So, today you are reading another DEEP post that has been written from some of the pain I have experienced. Although the painful posts tend to outweigh the positive posts at this time in my journey, my prayer is that God will use my feelings and experiences to grow you closer to Him. God bless...

Social media is certainly not a bad thing. And I make no secret of the fact that I love Facebook, Instagram and all the technological venues through which I find encouragement and love. This week, however, Satan used social media to strike me down. And unfortunately it worked. I fell in the bed late last night sobbing, of course, and didn't get up until JUST NOW. It's 2:25pm. The tears are still rolling, but I am about to cut them off because it's time to get my baby from school.

The bright part of my day. Every day.

I won't put in writing what took place the past two days. However, I will put in writing WHY it took place. God is doing some amazing things in my life. He is opening several VERY exciting doors for me. Because of this, Satan has been threatened. He is working overtime to steal my joy. He knows the buttons to push and the people to use to hurt me. I wish that I could tell you that I was above his attempts. But I'm not. I am human. And because my heart is not fully restored, it is breakable. Very breakable. And last night I found myself, once again, sitting in a pile of shattered pieces. Literally.

My devotion this morning confirmed my thoughts on Satan...

"Satan is on a mission to destroy everything God has established....God always has the upper hand and in the end, Satan will be destroyed." Isaiah 25:11 "His pride will be brought low, along with the trickery of his hands." The author went on to say, "We know that even though Satan cannot rob us of our salvation once we have entrusted our lives to Christ, he is still bent on destroying our testimonies, families and churches. and he attempts to steal our joy along with every other gift God gives." (Emphasis mine.)

I would love to stop here and tell you that reading God's Word this morning immediately made me feel better. It didn't. I canceled a teaching job I had scheduled for today (which I have NEVER done) because I was not able to get out of bed. I couldn't move. I felt paralyzed. And naturally Satan loved that. He used the whole morning to plant all kinds of thoughts in my head.

I finally managed to get up, eat a bowl of soup and run a hot bath. While I was in the tub, ~~a great friend~~ a member of my family sent me a verse of scripture. I had not spoken with her, but God had placed it on her heart to do so. The verse was a good one, "He is before all things and in Him, all things hold together." Colossians 1:17. After my bath I opened my laptop and was actually going to blog about that verse. A funny thing happened. When I put the scripture reference into my GOOGLE search engine, it brought up an entirely different passage. Odd, I thought. So, I entered it again. The same thing happened. My heart began to race, so at this point it was obvious to me that God had something else He wanted me to read. Before I share with you what God SPECIFICALLY told me today, let me tell you how I have felt for the past two days. Defeated. Beaten down. UGLY. Used. Broken. Hurt. Angry at the actions of others. Bitter. Defensive. Tired. Confused (at the lack of action of others) and just plain mad.

Now, here is what God sent me at 2:25 this afternoon:

" Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up and be alert to what is going on around Christ - that's where the action is! See things from His perspective."

"...so chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength and discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place , quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear LOVE. It is your basic all-purpose garment. Never be without it." (Colossians 3:1-2, 12-14)

God is amazing, isn't He? I highlighted being content with second place, because that is an emotion I have really struggled with for obvious reasons. But, God is asking me to be content with whatever place I fall into. Knowing that in HIS eyes, I am anything but second place. I am precious to him. My hurt feelings will not disappear overnight, but what God provided me with today was a reassurance that He is closer to me than I realize. And so attentive to my needs. I have been guilty of placing my happiness and security in other people. Even my friends around me. And I am continuing to learn that, that is a recipe for disaster. My only expectations, my only hope and my only love needs to be found in Jesus.

For now, my tears have stopped. I hope it stays that way... Although I do not have to work tomorrow (Wednesday), I plan to wake up, shower and clothe myself in the wardrobe my Father has already picked out.

And it will be a better day.

spiritual highlights fom my conference

2013-10-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

I want to share with you some of the encouragement I received from this past weekend, but I truly do not even know where to begin. Every single word was so inspired and SO good. And so meant for my ears. It always happens that way, doesn't it?

I primarily went to hear Max Lucado, as you all know. While there, I learned that I am a big fan of Sheila Walsh. She is hilarious. And so wise. Ken Davis was also there. If you've never heard him speak, he is what you might refer to as the "comedian" of the group. He was really funny, but then he wrapped up his segment with a few spiritual punches. Again, all good.

Here are a few bulleted notes of mine:

"We serve a God who is all powerful and all loving - Storms show us what we ACTUALLY believe, not just what we claim to believe." (Sheila Walsh) This spoke to me because it is so true! We can profess faith all day long every day, but it is not until you are in the middle of a storm and your faith is tested that what you really believe floats to the surface.
"...for the Son of Man came to find and restore the lost.” Luke 19:10 The word "lost" in this verse is derived from the Greek word meaning, "devastated, ruined, broken, beyond repair, etc." In other words, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE JESUS CAME TO FIND AND RESTORE. Praise God for that!!
"Sometimes it is hard to trust God when we've never been in a certain place. God didn't say, 'let's walk out to the middle of the lake and drown.' He promised to carry us to the other side! If God is going to take us somewhere, He will be IN the boat with us!" (Sheila Walsh) This is comforting to me too. Some days I feel completely lost at sea. Instead of worrying about where my boat is heading, maybe I should find Jesus and just be still and sit with Him.

CeeCee Winans was there as the entertainment. OH. MY. GOSH. Amazing. She is beautiful and amazing. There was a line in one of her songs that stuck with me. " Give me less and less of all the rest - give me more and more of You, Jesus." I need to get rid of SO much junk in my life. I need to get rid of the "rest" she was referring to and focus more on Him, for sure. Wonder how much more smooth my life would be.

(Sheila Walsh) "Often times, SILENT here means BUSY there where God is. We cannot see the unseen, but rest assured that God is orchestrating something larger than what is in front of us!" This is going to be my saving grace. Because the majority of the time I cannot see what in the world He is doing with the mess I am in.

I seriously do not have the time tonight to even BEGIN sharing the notes I took from Max Lucado's sermon. Wow. It is a lot. I do want to close with this one statement.

"Lean on God's people ALWAYS. Part of God's healing includes surrounding yourself with His people." Max Lucado

This was the part of the morning when my heart began to ache the most. Having walked through (and still walking through) some of the most painful times in my life, I cannot tell you how easy it would be to pull away from EVERYBODY. And at times, I am ashamed to say that I have. But I have learned, even prior to this weekend, that I cannot do this by myself. It is too hard. While there are VERY FEW people who know exactly how I feel, wrapping myself in the blanket of my family and friends has saved me from deep depression and anxiety.

"When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there" Matthew 18:18-20

How comforting. One of my favorite motto's of Newspring Church is, "Don't do life alone!" And I love that! Today, I want to publicly thank my family and friends who are always there for me. And you don't always have to get together to feel their presence. That's what texting and face book are for! LOL I love all of you.

That's all for now. HAPPY TUESDAY, friends!