The Noshpit

Facebook Negotiation Continues

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Fri, 23 Oct 2015 14:44:00 +0000

Until such time as I agree to a confidentiality clause, I thought I'd post the latest back and forth between myself and Facebook's lawyers. I asked for attny fees and they've refused. They're also attempting to prevent me - and my heirs(as if I'll ever have any)- from ever discussing or even negatively referring to Facebook for infinity under penalty of 10k fine plus further legal ramifications and damages. lmao.

On Nov 4, 2011, at 6:43 PM, xxx wrote:

Hi David,

Our response to your counteroffer is attached. As you'll see, Facebook is not willing to agree to any of the additional terms you propose. Please let me know if you want to discuss this via telephone.

Regards,

Ryan (lead counsel)

Hi, Ryan:

Thanks for getting back.

First of all, the 1.00 in damages was the suit I began on my own behalf to call Facebook out on their ridiculous and unquestionably hypocritical policies and procedures when it comes to spamming/Friend Requesting. And I stand by that amount, as I do not need, nor want the money. (I'm not even going to dignify the 'questioning my motives' line with a response.)

Once the suit was made public, and I received several hundred emails from people across the country informing me of their similarly frustrating and hair pulling experiences with the 'Brickwall' that is Facebook "User Support" - be it anything from 'forced admission of guilt' to bigger problems like information sharing, credit card fraud, and Internet predators- is when it dawned on me that these problems are much bigger than my ability to Friend Request someone, and could potentially turn into a much larger issue involving privacy issues, a users legal rights to a fair defense, and a class action suit.

It was based on these developments that the attorneys in California have said they would be interested in being a part of, and one which, if necessary, I am prepared to pursue in order to bring to light the fact that our lawmakers are currently leaving the largest information sharing entity the world has ever seen virtually unregulated with regard to its moral and legal accountability toward its users.

Thus, for the past few months, I have not been viewing this as a "one-dollar" suit. I have been viewing it on a much larger scale, potentially involving many more people who have been railroaded by Facebook's Orwellian business model.

Having said that, here's where I came up with the counter offer.

1. I don't believe you and I ever discussed financial anything. If we did I apologize, but that's what I get for agreeing to several months in extensions.

2. It obviously would cost Facebook many more thousands of dollars to defend a class action suit; not to mention the bad publicity. That's a no-brainer. Therefore, I thought I'd at least ask for my attorney fees to be covered. Didn't think it was a 'deal-breaker'.

3. I'm not saying I'm changing my mind, but I think you'll agree that when it comes down to it, this 'settlement' is incredibly one-sided.

I'm agreeing to dismiss all current and future claims, to agree not to talk about it, and agreeing to wave any value my suggestions would have should they be implemented and successful; all in exchange for a phone call.

Thus, I thought I'd ask for some kind of tangible compensation that would have provided me with some sort of remedy for the abuse I've endured simply taking Facebook up on their own suggestions, and one that wouldn't necessarily affect them monetarily - i.e. ad credits. (I could've asked for a million dollars in ad credits and all it is to them is a quarter inch of space.)

3. I understand Facebook is not willing to guarantee that any changes I suggest will be implemented- that I can live with. What I can't live with, and what I was completely offended by when I looked at the agreement, is not only would I be giving up the ship in exchange for a simple discussion, but it's entirely possible I could end up the defendant if I slip in conversation at a cocktail party ten years from now.

Furthermore, you are attempting to legally bind me from so much as 'thinking' a negative thought about Facebook with the threat of financial and legal recourse. That is unacceptable. I would agree to a time limit of one year from the conversation on the gag order but nothing more.

You can remove the financial incentives if you like. I don't care. But I would rather go to court for the next five years and fight the information gathering policies myself and countless other users find irresponsible, immoral, and a clear violation of our rights, rather than agree to a gag order for the rest of my life under those penalties.

Regardless of whatever they/you decide, the fact that all this hoopla has to occur just to try and get Facebook to do the right thing by their users, and create some kind of system of dialogue, is pretty sad in itself. It's the stuff revolutions are made of.

Let me know your thoughts,

David

So, Tsu Me: Why Facebook is Terrified of This Virtually Unknown Competitor and What It Could Mean For the Future of the Internet

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Wed, 21 Oct 2015 15:18:00 +0000

Let's 'Face' it. In today's tech landscape, there's no bigger dog on the block than Facebook. "King Mark" has built an empire so rich and so vast that if he thinks your little startup is going to cause him problems, he simply buys you out for more money than you, or your grandkids, or their grandkids, will ever need. Problem solved.

But, what if you're not for sale? What in the world does King Mark do if you have something really great, that has millions of users around the globe buzzing about its potential as being a "game-changer," and he can't have it? Simple. He blocks you.

Being blocked from Facebook in this day and age is the equivalent of being kicked off AT&T in the mid 70s. Which, if it happened, could create some problems.

What would you do if Facebook banished you tomorrow? How would you let the world know you were being blocked? You can't post it on Facebook. You can't do it on Instagram, either, as Facebook owns that, too. Forget about tweeting it. You're attempt at alerting the world to your plight will be buried in a second by 38,000 Kardashian retweets.

Facebook is the primary source of communication for over 1.5 billion people. So, the simple act of preventing its users from linking to anything having to do with your site will all but ensure your continuing anonymity.

However, if you're the founder of a startup site that currently ranks 11,372nd in popularity in the U.S., you'd think you're good, right? Wrong.

That's exactly what's happening to over 4.5 million users of Tsu.co - a Facebook with a conscience , whose founders believe users should be compensated for the content they create. That's so important, it's worth mentioning twice. Users should be compensated for the content they create.

This content/revenue stream comes from not only your page but from your network of users, i.e., friends you've invited to join and friends they've invited.

Think about all friends you told to join Facebook at the beginning. The posts you've shared, all the pages you've liked, and all the groups you've joined/started since creating your Facebook profile. Now, imagine how much revenue you've generated for Facebook. Now imagine how much you could have generated for yourself. Revenue that, with just a click of a mouse on Tsu, could be shared with the charity of your choice. No personal bank info needed.

I'm not going to get into a detailed explanation of the site's revenue model - there are dozens of pieces on Tsu's founder, Sebastian Sobczak, explaining how simply posting a link on the site can turn into dollars - except to say, think of Tsu as the social media version of Uber - just the business model, not the backlash. The site keeps 10% of ad revenue (which is derived through third party ads, partnerships and sponsors) and shares the other 90% with its users. Pretty neat, huh? That's just the tip of the iceberg.

Tsu's popularity is growing at quite an impressive pace. It registered over 3.5 million users in its first 6 months. Faster than both Facebook and Twitter. If that's not enough, due to its philanthropic mission statement, in just its first year, Tsu was chosen as the Media Partner of the Year by the Make A Wish Foundation.

To put it simply, according to Tsu's FAQ's page:
"Users should be compensated for their likeness, image and content. It's simple and it's the right thing to do."

I know a lot of musicians, artists, photographers, comedians, etc., who would probably agree. In fact, there are folks earning more from posting on Tsu than they do from their music streams.

Other areas where Tsu is taking Facebook on include:
Likes: On Facebook, if you currently have a million 'likes,' only a fraction of those people can see your posts, as Facebook wants to entice you to "Boost" it by paying for it. Whereas, on Tsu, all your posts are visible to all who like your page.

Groups: On Tsu, companies like Disney will be able to use their over 50 million followers to generate money for charity, as the site will automatically donate 5% to a charity of the group's choosing. Nothing like that at the moment on Facebook.

Search Bar/Analytics One thing Facebook has sorely been missing is a search bar to quickly locate a piece you or your friend may have posted, without having to constantly hit the scroll bar. Tsu's platform has this, as well as detailed analytics on how many views your posts have received.

Data Sharing: It's no secret anymore that Facebook willfully shares your data with every company under the sun. From Comcast to Chase, your browsing habits and web searches are tracked and monitored in perpetuity, which tilts the odds heavily in favor of any Facebook partner you may need to do business with, i.e. bank loans, mortgage rates, etc.

Compensating users for their content? Giving a percentage to charity? All this "crazy talk" is apparently starting to spook Facebook to the point where, over the past few weeks, links to anything mentioning the site, including pics containing only text, have been inexplicably erased from millions of Facebook's user's profiles.

Of course, Facebook is claiming Tsu is violating the terms of their API, a platform to platform sharing agreement, but according to Mr. Sobczak, it's just an excuse to attempt to legally justify the removal and subsequent blocking of the site from Facebook and its users. "If we are violating any type of technical or legal boundaries regarding Facebook's API, which we are not, we would see warnings on our dashboard - which we've never seen -, not to mention, we continue to receive messages that we are in compliance, all while we are being blocked," he says. "We've even been deleted from Facebook Messenger and we don't even integrate with that app."

Facebook isn't discriminating, either. According to Sobczak, they've deleted every mention of Tsu from 50 Cent's Facebook page with 38 million followers, as well as over 7,000 works of art posted by breast cancer survivor A Dog a Day. "These are independent posts shared by Facebook users without using an API and have nothing to do with Tsu," he says.

When I tried linking to Tsu on Facebook, I immediately got a warning saying it was an "unsafe link."

Meanwhile, it's still no problem to post links to most porn sites.

"Sharing a link to Tsu is no different than sharing a link to YouTube, the Huffington Post, Twitter, etc., yet, for some reason, we're being singled out as violators," states Sobczak. "It's a clear case of censorship."

As small as they are at the moment, 4 million users compared to 1.5 billion, Tsu's business model of sharing revenue with its users is impossible for Facebook to duplicate even if they wanted to, as it's now a publicly traded company.

Can you imagine Mark Zuckerberg at the next shareholders meeting telling his investors he's decided to give 90% of Facebook's ad revenue to its users? Sounds like something out of a Cohen brother's movie.

Google's currently under anti-trust investigation for allegedly attempting to block competitors from accessing Android, and way back Microsoft became the first online anti-trust casualty when it tried to shut the door on Netscape.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to read between the lines here. Blockbuster was the big dog on the block for decades before Netflix came along. It's almost unimaginable at the moment to think that people would abandon Facebook with the idea of switching to a more user-friendly, and user-protective site. But it wasn't too long ago folks thought Myspace was the end-all-be-all of the social media landscape.

Before you go running to Tsu.co in an attempt to sign up, be aware that the site is by invite only. This will hopefully keep most of the yokels off, as well as making each ad placement in the U.S. more valuable to overseas advertisers, thus, generating more revenue for the content creator.

When you compare Facebook to Tsu, it definitely appears as if Facebook is The Matrix, and Tsu is Neo.

Not that Facebook doesn't have a boat to weather the coming storm, but, if they're not prepared, they'd be hard-pressed to survive a Tsunami.

P.S. Since I can't post a link on Facebook requesting that you "Follow me on Tsu!" you can do it Here

NRA/Disney Announce Unlikely Partnership with Mickey's Mass-Shooting Sweepstakes

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Wed, 11 Jun 2014 21:42:00 +0000

In the wake of one mass-shooting after the next, and with no sign of congressional legislation anywhere in sight, Disney and the NRA, two very unlikely partners, have decided to join forces to capitalize on what is now a weekly occurrence.

"While we, as people, are obviously saddened by the senseless loss of life that occurs as a direct result one of these tragic events, as a company, we are in the business of turning a profit. And the opportunity to seize upon what seems to be a growing American phenomenon, should not go unexploited," says Randy Post, Disney's Chief Marketing Officer.

"The NRA is an organization made up of families just like you and me. Our members and their kids love Mickey Mouse almost as much as carrying a fully-loaded AK-47 into a maternity ward. Considering the random nature of these attacks, and the potential to raise awareness for our latest campaign - the Importance of Arming Children in Schools - we see it as a win-win," states NRA Chairman, Madeleine Freeman.

According to the joint press release, after a simple online registration, the nearly 5 million members of the NRA will have the opportunity to try and predict where the next mass-shooting will occur. Only one guess per week, per member, is allowed.

Winners will receive free tickets to Disney premieres, discounts on travel and accommodations, and V.I.P. admission to Disney's newest attraction Mickey Goes Mental - a new ride in which park goers, armed with laser tag guns, try to stop an over-worked/under-paid Mickey from going ballistic and shooting everyone in the park. The controversial exhibit is scheduled to open at Disney World, October, 2014.

NFL Cheerleaders Need to Get a Clue

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Mon, 28 Apr 2014 19:02:00 +0000

I'm as much against sexual discrimination -- or any kind of discrimination for that matter -- as the next guy. But, when news surfaced that Buffalo Bills cheerleader "Alyssa U." and her co-workers are suing the organization for "sexual objectification," the only thing I could think was, "WTF?!" Are they serious?

Let's be real here, folks; A cheerleader suing a football team for sexual objectification is like a comedian suing a comedy club for expecting laughs.

Newsflash, sweetie: You're a C-h-e-e-r-l-e-a-d-e-r. You get paid to look good. And, guess what? In order to be considered good-looking, your looks have to play a big part. I mean, what did you expect? To be picked for the squad, then be able to binge on Oreo's and Krispy Kreme's and still have a job? If you're that upset about the fact that you get judged on how well-toned parts of your body are, perhaps cheerleading is the wrong field for you?

If you choose to spend your days jumping around in skin tight outfits, being ogled at by thousands of fans, hanging out around professional athletes, and being on T.V. and on a million guys' screensavers, then a "Jiggle Test" is par for the course, hun.

And, call me crazy, but I think a straight-forward, sterile evaluation of your looks on a spreadsheet is much more beneficial for everyone involved. Imagine the uncomfortable conversation a squad leader would have to have with each girl as she delicately tries to hint at the fact that her under arms swish around like a lava lamp? This way, it's completely clear and to the point, with no emotion or personal b.s. getting in the way.

Personally, if I was you, in this line of work, I'd consider an I.Q. test to be discriminatory. As it has nothing to do with how well you can do your job.

Had these girls come forward with stories of Jiggle Tests from the halls of IBM or Microsoft, then they'd have something. If they accused their bosses of turning the workplace into a scene right out of MadMen, with fifty "Don Drapers" in each dept. demanding they jump around their offices in order to keep their receptionist jobs, then they'd have my full support.

And, let's not even talk about the allegations of the demeaning treatment at "Golf Outings," as anyone who's ever been to a high profile, expensive golf event knows, there's booze tents at every hole - each of which is staffed by pretty girls in tight shorts trying to get you to buy their company's alcohol. And with a couple of hundred intoxicated, rowdy guys and their buddies regressing back to high school behavior, it's a miracle no liquor girl has ever reported being thrown in the back of a golf cart and driven into the woods.

Obviously, no one is condoning rude, obnoxious, or illegal behavior, but if, on your resume, you list "hot chick" as a previous position, then you should know exactly what to expect. If you don't believe me, call any stand-up comic and ask them about the "Giggle Test."

Did Hoboken's Mayor Zimmer Hold Back Christie Allegations Due to Upcoming Election?

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 28 Jan 2014 14:57:00 +0000

Due to the impeccable timing of Hoboken's mayor, Dawn Zimmer, coming forward with allegations of political extortion against an already embattled gov. Christie, her integrity is now under scrutiny by state and local republicans alike. But, her motives are also being questioned by fellow democrats. Like Hoboken councilwoman Beth Mason, who, while losing to Zimmer in two previous elections, does seem to have a point.

I'll be the first to admit I'm no fan of Mayor Zimmer. While she may have built a few more parks, the streets of Hoboken are arguably some of the worst in the country (imagine driving your car on the moon), the tow trucks and traffic cops patrol the streets 24/7 like the bureaucratic Walking Dead, and there's so much construction going on all around you, day-in-day-out, it's like living in post-war Iraq.

Having said that, I, personally, have no issue with the mayor's credibility as to whether she's telling the truth or not. I, for one, think she is. However, it can't be ignored that the reason she kept her mouth shut for the better part of last year was most likely due to the upcoming election.

Is there any other plausible explanation as to why someone apparently so dedicated to "truth and justice" waited almost a year to go public with a story about political bullying? Especially during a time when the entire nation was grieving for her town? If she had come forward last May, the entire world would have probably embraced her. But, that didn't happen. Instead, she kept the alleged threats to herself and said nothing, apparently letting everyone in town think we were getting all the aid we needed with little, if any, resistance.

To me, the only unbelievable part of her story is that she feared no one would believe her. Hogwash.

Mayor Zimmer is no political rookie. She knows exactly what she's doing. To the point, it's been contended by many residents up on local politics that the only reason Tim Occhipinti entered the 2013 mayoral race late - completely aware of the fact he had virtually no chance of winning - was at the behest of a Zimmer loyalist who allegedly promised favors in exchange for Occhipinti's "watering-down" of the votes for her biggest opponent, Ruben Ramos.

Whether or not that's true at this point is history. But it does give one pause to think if the mayor, who, on the outside claims she's committed to doing what's best for her city, in fact, did hold back from exposing the governor for her own political gain, she would be guilty of a diabolically negligent move, equivalent to a Katrina-sized cover-up. And, if you think about it, if the traffic scandal didn't come out, when, exactly, was she planning on coming forward?

A Bridget Too Far: Gov. Christie's "Bridgewatergate" Scandal Reveals Actual Traffic Study

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Thu, 09 Jan 2014 22:25:00 +0000

Emails released through subpoena today by New Jersey Assembly Deputy Speaker and Transportation Committee Chair John Wisniewski prove, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the top aide in Gov. Christie's administration, Bridget Anne Kelly conspired w/ now ousted Port Authority exec. David Wildstein to intentionally screw the city, the commuters and the mayor of Fort Lee - Democrat Mark Sokolich - for his refusal to support Gov. Christie in his reelection campaign.

However, the interesting thing here, is that emails have also surfaced proving there indeed was a traffic study going on.

Wildstein said the study being conducted at the time was "...to see exactly what it would take for a suburban mother of three to exit her minivan, ignore the welfare of her children, and put her fist through the windshield of the car in front of her. That was wrong of us but it was purely in the name of science."

Further details show the study was monitoring the overall effects of traffic on the human psyche. Turns out, people don't like it.

During the hearings in Trenton this week, Mayor Sokolich, wearing a wire, apparently taped two older gentlemen in the men's room discussing the situation. Their conversation was released to the Huffington Post exclusively:

MAN #1: "Pay up, Mortimer I've won the bet."

MAN #2: "Here. One Dollar."

MAN #1: "We took a megalomaniacal, bullying would-be presidential candidate and turned him into a back-tracking, double-talking hypocrite, and, at the same time, we took honest, hard-working commuters and turned them into violently deranged would-be killers. By the way, where is Beaks?"

Unknown to most following this shocking scandal, is that statistics also show that during the 5-day traffic nightmare, online gambling in the Fort Lee area shot up 1000%.

The situation has caused such an uproar, working-man's musician John Mellencamp is reportedly working a single to raise money for the victims of Fort Lee.

"The Port Authority Song" is scheduled for release Feb. 15.

Lyrics include: "I fight Port Authority, Port Authority always wins. When I fight Port Authority, Port Authority always wins."

If nothing else, at least the discovery of these emails will finally allow the N.J. State Assembly to get to the "Big" bottom of this.

Daily Show - Racist Irish Tweet Chat w/ Jessica Williams

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 23:29:00 +0000

Racist Tweet Link

CHAT SAMPLE: TEA PARTY LEADER’S RACIST TWEET CHAT W/ JESSICA WILLIAMS

{***JON***}
FOR MORE WE'RE JOINED BY IRISH-AMERICAN HISTORY EXPERT JESSICA WILLIAMS. WELCOME JESSICA.

{***JESSICA***}
THANKS JON. AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL, I’M NOT TOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW.

{***JON***}
I CAN’T IMAGINE. THAT WOMAN’S TWEET WAS SO OFFENSIVE. WHAT YOU MUST BE FEELING RIGHT NOW IS… INDESCRIBABLE.

{***JESSICA***}
THE FACT THAT SOMEONE WOULD COME OUT AND SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC -ESPECIALLY A PROMINENT MEMBER OF A POLITICAL PARTY- AND MISREPRESENT AN ENTIRE PEOPLE’S SET OF BELIEFS IS DISAPPOINTING TO SAY THE LEAST. AS AN IRISH-AMERICAN, I IN NO WAY CONDONE WHAT SHE SAID.

{***JON***}
UH, IRISH?

{***JESSICA***}
YES, JON. FULL BLOODED IRISH. BIG FAN OF THE SOAP, ST. PATRICK’S DAY, LEPRECHAUNS. ANYWAY, I’D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE BECAUSE TO THINK TH-

{***JON***}
-I’M SORRY, JESSICA.

{***JESSICA***}
YES, JON?

{***JON***}
I JUST HAVE TO ASK. HOW DID SOMEONE LIKE YOURSELF END UP… IRISH?

{***JESSICA***}
OH! (LAUGHS) YOU MEAN BECAUSE OF MY BROWN EYES? MY GRANDFATHER ON MY MOTHER’S SIDE COMES FROM BELFAST AND HAS THE DEEPEST, DARKEST EYES YOU’VE EVER SEEN! ANYWAY –

{***JON***}
UH, JESSICA?

{***JESSICA***} (GETTING MAD) YESSS, JON???

{***JON***} (CLEARLY UNCOMFORTABLE) I GATHER THEN, THAT YOU’RE, UH, “BLACK” IRISH?

{***JESSICA***}
WE PREFER “MAGICALLY DELICIOUS AMERICANS.”

{***JON***}
COME ON. YOU’RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

{***JESSICA***}
I’M WHAT?

{***JON***}
– NEVERMIND. ANYWAY, I WASN’T TALKING ABOUT YOUR EYES.

{***JESSICA***}
YOU WEREN’T?

{***JON***}
NO.

{***JESSICA***}
THEN, WHAT ARE YOU REFERRING TO JON?

{***JON***}
WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE AN EXPERT ON IRISH AMERICAN HISTORY. I’M SORRY, BUT THAT’S JUST BIZARRE.

{***JESSICA***}
WHY IS THAT BIZARRE, JON?

{***JON***}
WELL, IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU-

{***JESSICA***}
YES?

{***JON***}
IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU SEE A… A…

{***JESSICA***}
A WHAT? GO AHEAD AND SAY IT, ALREADY, JON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

{***JON***}
I-

{***JESSICA***}
-IT’S NOT EVERYDAY YOU SEE A WOMAN WITH A DEGREE IN IRISH AMERICAN HISTORY?! IS THAT IT?! THAT’S IT, ISN’T IT, JON?!

{***JON***}
WHAT?! I –

{***JESSICA***}
IT’S OKAY. YOU CAN ADMIT IT. MY JOURNALISTIC PROWESS INTIMDATES YOU BECAUSE I’M A WOMAN.

{***JON***}
WAIT A-

{***JESSICA***}
YOU KNOW, JON, WAY BACK WHEN I FIRST TOOK THIS JOB, I HEARD RUMORS ABOUT YOUR CAVALIER ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE FEMALES ON THE SHOW. YOUR LATE NIGHT “INTERN PARTIES,” YOUR CHAUVANISTIC BEHAVIOR AND OPINIONS. YOU THINK JOHN OLIVER LEFT TO DO “COMMUNITY”? HA! THAT’S WHAT HE WANTED YOU TO THINK. TRUTH IS, HE LEFT IN PROTEST TO YOUR TREATMENT OF WOMEN! (TAKES A SWIG FROM A FLASK)

{***JON***}
WHAT?! WAIT A MINUTE WHAT WAS THAT?

{***JESSICA***}
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF HUH? (TAUNTING) DO I MAKE YOU NERVOUS, JON?

{***JON***}
(NERVOUS) OF COURSE NOT. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME NERVOUS?

{***JESSICA***}
I DON’T KNOW. MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE SCARED ONE DAY A WOMAN MAY BE SITTING WHERE YOU SIT. MAYBE A PROUD IRISH WOMAN –WHOSE ANCESTORS STRUGGLED FROM THE DEPTHS OF IRISH SLAVERY, LONG BEFORE THE BLACKS CAME ALONG, WITH THE HOPE THAT MAYBE, ONE DAY, WE WOULD BE TREATED EQUALLY. AND, 550 YEARS LATER, HAVE WE EVER SAID A WORD IN PROTEST AS TO THE ATROCITIES COMMITTED AGAINST US? (TAKES A SWIG)

{***JON***}
ATROCITIES?! WHAT ATROCITIES? ARE YOU CARRYING A FLASK?

{***JESSICA***}
HOW QUICKLY WE FORGET. DID YOU KNOW OKLAHOMA WAS ORIGINALLY SETTLED BY THE IRISH.

{***JON***}
IT WAS?

{***JESSICA***}
THAT’S RIGHT. DID YOU KNOW UP UNTIL 1950 IT WAS SPELLED LIKE THIS: (OS: “O’ KLAHOMA) BUT IT WAS TOO IRISH-LOOKING SO THEY CHANGED IT.

{***JON***}
WOW.

{***JESSICA***}
IT’S CALLED EDUCATION, JON TRY IT SOME TIME. AND THE BIGGEST FAST FOOD CHAIN IN THE WORLD … (OS: “MICK O’ DONALDS”) THAT’S HOW IT STARTED. AND WHO CAN FORGET THE DEGREDATION AND HUMILIATION OF OUR WORST NATIONAL TRAGEDY, THE IRISH POTATO FAMINE. YOUR PEOPLE TOOK IT AND MADE IT A LAUGHING STOCK.

(OS: MR POTATO HEAD)

{***JON***}
I’M SORRY. I HAD NO IDEA. I LOVE MR. POTATO HEAD.

{***JESSICA***}
EXACTLY. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF WE HAD “MR. HOLOCAUST HEAD” IN IRELAND?

{***JON***}
POINT TAKEN.

{***JESSICA***}
YOU DISGUST ME, JON. I NEED A GUINNESS. (DROPS MIC AND EXITS)

{***JON***}
UH, THANK YOU JESSICA. JESSICA WILLIAMS, EVERYONE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Fort Hood Shooter Had Access to $8k/mo. Trailer. Apparently, Our Gov't. Has Never Heard of The Internet

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Fri, 30 Aug 2013 21:14:00 +0000

According to the New York Times, the U.S. government, A.K.A. "the taxpayers," paid approximately $8,000.00 a month to rent a trailer for Fort Hood shooter, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, from which, he supposedly worked on his defense. This minor detail, which took up less than a sentence in The Times' front-page report covering Maj. Hasan's conviction, was the one thing that stood out to me like an 8-track player in an Apple Store. After seeing that figure, my eyes continued to glance over the rest of the story, which mentioned a slew of other tidbits, such as the participants, length of deliberation, the possibility of the death penalty, etc., but I retained nothing -as my brain kept repeating -over and over- "Eight thousand dollars??? A month?!!!" I don't know about you, but when I think of a "trailer," my mind conjures up images of a cramped 4-walled, cinder-block wheeled enclosure that stands next to an elementary school, or the D.M.V., and could surely be had for at least half that? No doubt, this particular trailer must have been the lavish, gold-plated, Crime-o-luxe model, complete with thousand-dollar waste baskets and antique umbrella stands. Or maybe, it was modeled after the Urban Assualt Vehicle Bill Murray and co. used in the movie Stripes? In reality, the items which apparently pushed the price tag to hit the $8k figure were a laptop and some law books. No wonder. Obviously, the Army has never heard of Google, as in literally ten seconds, I found a website that offered mobile trailers for $2k/mo. That's 400% cheaper than what the Army paid. But, I guess that's the one thing they're good at. Our government makes guys like Dennis Kozlowski and John Thain look like misers. And, don't give me that b.s. about 'reinforced steel' or a 'super-max' trailer to protect this loser. After what he did, then proudly admitted at every opportunity, they should've put him in a trailer made of Swiss cheese. Keep in mind, this is coming in the wake of the outcry after it was publicized the Army was still paying the self-professed mass-murderer to the tune of $300k. I've seen ads that say the Army will help pay your rent after serving only two years, which is perfect for me. As, there's a 3-bedroom penthouse in Tribeca I've got my eye on which won't be completed until 2015. To read about other extravagantly frustrating expenses for Maj. Hasan we footed the bill for, such as daily helicopter rides, click here!

The Brooklyn Half-Marathon: A Test of Patience and Endurance for All Involved

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 21 May 2013 13:48:00 +0000

It was supposed to be a day of triumph. Of celebration. Of families lining the streets of Brooklyn to wave to and cheer their family members, friends, neighbors, etc., as they attempted to accomplish a truly difficult feat: running 13 miles in three hours. The Brooklyn Half-Marathon.

My sister Stephanie, a 41-years-young Ph.D. and mother of two, who is prepping for a go at the "Big One" in November, was one of the brave ones.

Leaving my apartment in Hoboken at 8 a.m., the plan was to head to Coney Island and meet up with the rest of my family, where we're going to cheer my crazy sister on as she crossed the finish line.

That was our plan. Unbeknownst to me, the city had plans of its own.

Coming off the BQE, I merge onto the Prospect Expressway. I couldn't have gone more than half a mile when life as I knew it came to a DEAD STOP.

It's definitely not a good sign when 20 minutes pass and you realize you're still sitting in the exact spot you stopped in. It's now 8:45 and I decide to call my bro-in-law, Michael, and let him know something's amiss. It's at this point he tells me the city has apparently closed the Prospect Expressway due to the marathon.

My first thought is, "Holy Shit." My next is, "WTF, Mr. Mayor??!!"

It seems the city has apparently decided to close 95 percent of a major Brooklyn thoroughfare while still leaving the first 5 percent open, so unsuspecting motorists can drift helplessly into the Death Star's gravitational pull, and be left there to rot for the better part of the next two hours.

You want to talk about an unbelievable lapse in judgement? How about the guy at the D.O.T. whose job it was to close the expressway and who, when asked by a co-worker if they should put a sign on the BQE to alert approaching motorists of the trouble dead ahead, went, "Nah."

Where else but in New York would you find a highway completely closed, except for the on-ramp?

They can take 100 barrels and mark off five miles of interstate for one guy with a jackhammer, but when they decide to close an entire stretch of highway, not one of these rocket scientists has the presence of mind to grab a Magic Marker and post a sign?!

I called the D.O.T.'s press office and was greeted by a man who obviously spent the better part of his adult life drinking Night Train. According to him, traffic was moving fine, and if I wanted to speak to someone more important than he, I was to give him my number so he could "email it" to the relevant department. Even in my moment of despair, the irony of a municipal office having to communicate with each other by carrier pigeon was not lost.

I then phoned WCBS (880am) and tried to remain calm. It didn't work, as a minute later, over the air, I hear:

Well, there seem to be some very aggravated drivers on the Prospect Expressway this morning. It's apparently closed in both directions due to the Marathon. Thanks to David for the tip.

Having now sat in the same place for an hour and a half, I'm about to abandon the vehicle when, low and behold, the cars in front of me start moving.

It takes about another half hour to exit. It's now 10:30 a.m. It's taken me two hours to go a quarter of a mile. The worst part is, all of this utter nonsense could have been avoided with just a simple sign.

The streets look like the automotive version of The Walking Dead; hundreds of vehicles desperate to avoid additional delays looking for a clear street to freedom.

When I finally get to the boardwalk, I go to call Michael and share the joy: Nothing. Okay, try again. Nothing. Try again. Dropped. What in the heck is going on now?

I try my mom. Once. Twice. Thrice. No dice. I'll just text them. Guess not. Okay, now I'm getting pissed. I spend the better part of the last two hours sitting on a closed highway and now Verizon is playing f'n games? Double parked, I put my hazards on and walk straight into the mob. I walk up and down each street trying to make a call. It's useless.

Some guy approaches me and asks to use my phone. I turn and look around me... there are hundreds of us. Now, literally, The Talking Dead, looking for our lost family members in the throngs of runners and by-standers, all with no means of communication.

I spot two cops standing by the Nathan's and ask to use one of their cells. "Ours don't work either. Cell signal is really bad out here. Wait a bit and try later."

"Try later?" I've now been standing here for half an hour! And the sunny 70 degree day we were supposed to have has turned into a blustery 50 degree one. And now, it starts to rain. I feel like Dan Aykroyd in the Santa suit in Trading Places. I figure, any moment now, a dog's going to pee on my leg.

After about an hour standing in the freezing wind and rain, a text comes through from Michael;

Are you here? he asks, nonchalantly.
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU???!!! I calmly reply.

Apparently, he and my mother have had quite the time themselves. They got off at the wrong subway stop and had to lift the babies and their strollers up a few massive staircases, only to find themselves trapped on all sides by a huge apartment complex. Had it not been for the kindness of a neighbor, who let them through a locked gate, they would have had a half-mile walk to cross the street. As it was, they ended up missing my sister at the finish line and spent the last half hour trying to find her.

Upon finally finding each other, it turns out Stephanie, whose phone didn't work, either, asked a guy in a "Counter-Terrorism" T-shirt what was going on. "They shut down all cell phones in the area," he replied. "Everywhere??" she asked. "Yup."

No announcement. No warning. No notice of this minor issue to the runners in the bag of instructions each entrant is given before the race. And, judging by the response of the two cops, the police weren't told either. They just shut 'em down, leaving thousands wandering aimlessly in the rain, trying to find their friends and family.

If you're going to shut off phone service to half a borough at the time of a major event, how about a slip of paper, or a radio announcement, alerting people of the changes?

In an instant, the highway closing without a sign became amateur hour.

Is this a sign of things to come? Thousands of people at sporting events in big cities nationwide are now to be subjected to the same random acts of disruption and government-caused chaos as the T.S.A.?

Are we now all to be punished at every public gathering from now until the end of time for the acts of two misguided idiots in Boston? I'm surprised they didn't make the runners take their shoes off before approaching the finish line.

In the end, a pathetic and total failure by all parties involved in organizing this disaster of a day.

When I finally calmed down, I said to my sister; "I don't care if you go on to be the first woman to walk on Mars. If you land in the waters off Coney Island, I'm watching it on T.V."

I can't wait for November.

Why Isn't Congress Considering an Internet Protection Act?

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 15:33:00 +0000

It's probably safe to say that in the coming weeks and months, we'll be seeing dozens more stories relating to the vulnerability of virtually every facet of our online lives, e.g., the pictures we post, the things we buy, the messages we send, etc., etc.

And, why not? Given the fact that millions upon millions of us now spend the better part of our days communicating with each other through the use of phones and laptops, it's probably fair to say we've become an "anti-social media" society.

When it comes to compromising the security measures put into place by the various companies we trust our data to, it seems every corner of your virtual bedroom is cluttered with all kinds of modern invisible monsters, hiding under your bed, competing for a chance to steal your virtual soul, no matter your age; cyber-hackers, identity thieves, overseas counterfeiters, social media trojans/malware, etc. These new age cyber-crooks know how to identify the patterns in how we communicate, and the new trends we're going to latch onto, before we do.

According to the New York Times, half of all Americans use some form of social media. The article states that number made an astonishing jump from just 5 percent less than six years ago. Which, if you do the math, means in about five years, close to 100 percent of us will be using social media to communicate.

Considering there are regulations for every other form of mass communication, e.g., cable, phone, etc., wouldn't you think Congress would at least be thinking about a bill that aims to protect the general population from cyber-harm?

I happened to be in a certain congressman's office just last week discussing a separate issue, and posed the question of some sort of legislation when it comes to the protection and privacy of social media users, and, possibly more important, holding these tech giants responsible in their daily decision-making process, and how those decisions affect the end user; i.e., everyone.

The response I got was a very flippant, "No matter what we do now, the tech world moves so fast, by the time legislation's passed, it will be obsolete." Translation - "Why bother?"

That was incredibly disheartening to hear. Congress is always behind technology, so, why bother doing anything? Matter of fact, they're usually a decade behind every facet of public policy, but they still try. They still talk about it. They still debate it. The way they currently see it, we may as well let the cyber-crooks drive their Ferraris down Main St., looting and pillaging everything in sight, while the rest of us roam around in wheel barrows.

Of course, when talking about cyber-hacking these days, you're primarily talking about Facebook - as over a billion of us currently use the social media site to do everything we used to do in the real world; chat, share pictures, keep in touch with relatives, buy clothing and food, watch movies, date, propose, break-up, etc. So, for the sake of argument, let's focus on them.

And, incidentally, when talking about "protection," I'm not talking about the recently passed Privacy Act that keeps the police from searching your emails without a warrant (although it's a good start).

I'm talking about regulations that mandate sites like Facebook, which was recently hacked and came this close to having millions of its users' data compromised, to be beholden to some sort of 'Internet Oversight Committee' made up of impartial folks from the worlds of technology, education, as well as public policy. FYI, in this one recent episode, alone, several watchdog sites observed, had Facebook simply turned off the Java app, the entire incident could have been avoided.

Factor that into the accusations of Zuckerberg and co. knowingly selling your data to Chinese counterfeiters in the hopes of a smoother entry into the media-hungry nation - as well as offering the grand gesture of a short "FAQ page" to deal with the myriad of issues from its billion-plus users -, and perhaps some sort of 'user support arm' would be a good start. Especially considering the thesis recently completed by University of California Riverside grad student, Sazzadur Rahman, which explains how social media networks are now the preferred way to spread viruses across the Net (note: the last several pages offer hyperlinks to dozens of articles on cyberscams currently attacking the social network). Why should the only way to get a human response from Facebook - or Google - be through a lawsuit?

Then, there's the 'lawlessness' of the Wild West when it comes to allowing these media giants to police themselves; case in point, Janet Tavakoli, President of Chicago-based, Tavakoli finance, and author of three books, revealed that not only was she, herself, the victim of identity theft on Facebook - her statement regarding the social media site's suspicions of her own identity reads,

"Facebook reminded me of a punk holding a screw driver over your parked car's paint job demanding payment to 'protect' it as you run errands,"

- but, the Huffington Post's own, Bianca Bosker, Executive Tech Editor, was 'friended' by herself and was forced to provide an I.D., along with a notarized statement to satisfy her claim. A classic example of victimizing the victim.

Ms. Tavakoli's paper also highlights the Europeans who are, once again, ahead of us when it comes to regulating the kind of data Facebook is permitted to share with its subsidiaries. Of course, in the U.S., Facebook still tells us what to do, instead of the other way around.

Then, there's USC's Annenberg Innovation Lab, who provide a link between mega-sites, such as Google and Yahoo, and the financing of pirate sites which provide illegal movies, music, etc., through countless millions in advertising dollars.

No one's accusing Google or Yahoo or even Facebook - well, maybe Facebook - of knowingly supporting these illegal enterprises, but shouldn't there be some sort of regulatory board overseeing some of this stuff? Shouldn't there be some type of penalty, maybe even jail time, if the folks at Facebook are proven to be allowing counterfeit ads on your page? Just because it's in cyberspace doesn't mean it's not real. They're still committing a crime, no matter how many overseas marketing companies they hide behind.

I'm not saying I have all the answers, odds are no one does, but when sites like Yapzap keep tabs on all things Facebook that the government should really be doing, it makes for doing something seem a lot better than the nothing that's currently being done.

These companies are bigger and richer and more powerful than any previous entities the world has ever seen. Shouldn't they be forced to be responsible in some ways to their users who entrust them with their information? Shouldn't there be at least a few 'general' laws on the books that force companies with a certain amount of users to operate within certain established parameters, say, at least a 24hr. response by a live human being?

As our knowledge of technology, the companies that dictate it, and the crooks who seek to undermine it, grows exponentially on a daily basis, it seems foolish to let these billionaire college dropouts play Oz, unchecked, without some sort of guidance from mom and dad.

No Matter What, Sesame Street Will Never Dump Elmo

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 17:34:00 +0000

If I learned one thing from my days as a production assistant on Sesame Street, it's this:

Elmo runs the place.

Period. End of story. Sure, there are "exec. producers'" and "co-exec. producers," and "CEOs" of the Sesame Workshop (Sesame St.'s parent co.), etc., etc., but, make no mistake, that little red monster is King.

Remember that bratty kid from the Twilight Zone episode who all the adults are afraid of because he has the power to wish them away?

That's Elmo. Or, more to the point, that's Kevin Clash.

So, when you read in the press, Clash has been "reprimanded," or "disciplined," or " is in danger of being fired," take it with a pillar of salt. Because, even in the midst of an underage sex scandal, the brass upstairs know exactly who's driving this gravy train, and has been for the past 25 years. And, it ain't about to slow down now.

Not to mention, if and when the train does come to a stop, it'll take more than a flip-flopping, fairly unstable-looking, wannabe male model with a nice sized rap sheet and weird blue eyes to derail it. And, the reason is obvious.

In this day and age, the only thing that matters is the greeeeeen. And, when it comes to bringing home the bacon, there's no character in the nearly 45 year history of the show who's made as much of the green stuff for Sesame Street as Elmo. Not Big Bird. Not Ernie. No one.

Thus, ultimately, no matter how much tap dancing they'll have to do if he's proven guilty to explain why he's back, you can bet they're already practicing their jazz hands - just in case. Because, when all is said and done, no executive producer wants to be responsible for killing that big of a cash cow; especially not since Sesame Street's episodes have been cut from over 100, just a decade ago, to less than 30 this year. No, sir.

A little, juicy sex scandal may be enough to bring down the likes of a Pee Wee Herman, but, as big as he was at the time of his unfortunate moment, Pee Wee couldn't touch Elmo.

Elmo is arguably the biggest star in the world; marketed in 100 countries, his voice translated into 100 languages, and his talking dolls create fistfights among parents desperate to make sure their kid gets the last one at Xmas time.

It would take a scandal on par with O.J. before Sesame would seriously consider replacing the one guy responsible for all that. After all, there were other puppeteers who tried doing Elmo before Clash, and not one of them succeeded. It was Clash's raw talent as, not only a puppeteer, but also a voice and character actor, that gave Elmo life and made him the superstar he is today.

So, talk to me when Clash is found hovering over the dead bodies of his relatives with a bloody knife in his hand and kiddie porn all over his computer. Then, maybe, we'd be talking early retirement.

No doubt, this thing is a huge embarrassment for Clash, but he and Elmo are going to make it through just fine. Of course, now that he was forced to come out of the closet, he's going to have to endure the multitude of bad jokes that accompany a scandal such as this.

Right, Pee Wee?

The Land That Time (and the Mayor) Forgot: Thousands of Seniors Still Without Heat in The Rockaways

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 06:55:00 +0000

The worst part about a storm like this is the chaos it creates regarding the chain of communication. Nearly two weeks after the ocean breached the shores of Far Rockaway Beach, and wreaked havoc throughout the entire New York area, hundreds upon hundreds of the sick and elderly still have no idea when their heat will return. And, everyone's blaming everyone else. Meanwhile, the seniors continue to freeze.

Being part of a crew documenting the aftermath of Sandy, we were asked to visit the JASA (Jewish Assoc. Serving the Aged) Senior housing projects along the beach in Far Rockaway today. The reason they asked us is because practically every other media outlet has ignored their pleas for help.

Below are some excerpts from the numerous emails I received which prompted us to drop everything and head out there:

"The situation in Far Rockaway is dire and out of control. A body bag was pulled out of one the buildings yesterday. There is no National Guard, Red Cross or any other disaster relief agency on site. Individual volunteers and other small volunteer groups are the only ones on site. Most of the recovery efforts in the Rockaways are focused on the Western part of the peninsula where fires erupted such as Rockaway Park and Breezy Point. The buildings have approximately 2,000 units housing senior citizens, most of whom are of Russian descent. Each building is over 20 stories high housing approx 16 units on each floor. It is unclear how many did not tenants evacuated, however, it is known that only 25 % of the Rockaway Peninsula evacuated."

"Homebound seniors can't leave their homes, most can't walk up and down the stairs. They need medicine and medical care, in addition to food and water. The owners of the buildings have no real plan for recovery and if they do, haven't announced one. Building management had no idea that LIPA (Long Island Power Authority) services the Rockaway Peninsula, and not Con Ed. Apparently all of the systems to the building have been compromised. They told me Doctors without Borders are there, but we know for a fact they aren't. On Sunday, Doctors without Borders were on Beach 38 and yesterday, one of the volunteers informed us that Doctors without Borders have not been there."

"I was personally in Far Rockaway today with 4 other girls. We were at Beach 19th street in buildings 125, 135 and 155 handing out supplies and food. What's happening there is an utter disgrace, management has no clue who is in the buildings, what they need or what the reality of the situation is. Someone posted that a body was discovered and carried out today. That's absolutely true, saw it with my own eyes."

"Hallways are becoming peoples restrooms, all the tenants are running their stoves to stay warm -- the smell of gas is unbearable and most of the people are in the 80+ group so I wouldnt be surprised if one accidently sets the whole building on fire or kills themselves b/c they didnt turn the gas off (many organization groups in an effort to help were distributing candles and matches). Many of the tenants were telling me they have sons, daughters etc. but they cant come get them b/c they work or have no gas."

Upon arriving, we met Yana Feldman, an estate planning attorney who had been there since the beginning and was leading a group of volunteers. She confirmed what the above emails stated. "The problem is, some can't leave and some refuse to" she says. Apparently, many of the 80plus year olds have the attitude, 'I survived two wars. I can survive this.'" Which doesn't make their job any easier. Volunteers were carrying the elderly out down 19 flights of stairs to shelters.

Our crew was told to stop filming almost as soon as we started by one of the complex managers. She then gave me a number to call and I was told I'd have to wait an hour, as, Terry Marks, the director, was on with The Times. When I finally got through, Ms. Marks went on a manic-but-well-informed rant about how many things they were doing and, if we really wanted to help, we should just leave and, "Let them do their job."

The entire time the director was rattling off each thing that was supposedly being done, e.g. generators, Doctors Without Borders, etc., poor Yana was standing there shaking her head in disagreement. It was quite bizarre being in the middle of a conversation like that, but, who would you believe? A director who's calling from an office miles away, or a volunteer on the ground who's been there for days on end?

Ultimately, Ms. Marks did come off as empathetic to the situation and was most likely just under a lot of understandable stress, as she was no doubt being pulled in several directions at once. There's no denying she cares about the seniors, it just may be a case of receiving some incorrect information. Which brings me to my original statement:

Ultimately, the directors and volunteers are on the same side. But, so many people are telling so many tales as to who's to blame, or who's saying what, you can't help but feel caught in the web of complete chaos that damage to such a widespread area such as this creates.

For instance, I was told by Ms. Marks that LIPA is saying it's "Not their problem." Apparently, their systems are fine and it's the buildings electrical systems that are damaged, and that's not their problem. Meanwhile, the building's management says that's hogwash, and it is, indeed, LIPA's problem.

Jeff Altman, a manager at Owl Creek Hedge Fund, who, along with CEO Dan Sapadin, brought a team of volunteers to the projects, thinks LIPA is "full of it." "My mother lives three miles from here and she doesn't have power, either. So, trying to tell us everything's dandy out here is simply not true."

Trying to get to the heart of the matter, I called six different numbers for LIPA - everything from customer service, to emergency explosions, to the medical equipment catastrophe line, - and all were busy. I sent an email to Bruce Germano, LIPA's V.P. of customer service, but received no reply.

Today was the first day they saw a Red Cross truck. It just happened to arrive as we were leaving. The truck announced they had blankets and meals. Within seconds, the blankets were gone. The guy driving the truck said he was told by dispatch they "didn't need him there," but he came, anyway. Another miscommunication.

The bottom line is, when workers from a hedge fund and some volunteers from the Israeli Army, outnumber FEMA, the Red Cross, and the National Guard, two weeks after an epic storm, you know something's rotten in Denmark.

Even city councilman James Sanders thinks the entire situation stinks.

I'm sure the Mayor cares about these people, and, he can't be in all places at once. However, I would say, if it were me, and there was a massive power outage, one which affected thousands of the city's sick and elderly, and left them freezing and imprisoned in their dark towers for weeks, I'd make sure they were the ones who got priority, rather than the rich, white folk a stone's throw away, in Breezy Point.

The New York Times is supposedly running a story on the situation today(Friday). All I can advise is, having been there first hand, unless the power is fully restored sometime this afternoon, take everything you read with a grain of salt. Nothing is as it appears to be, and those poor folks need help.

If anyone wishes to help, you can join the Facebook group set up by the volunteers.

Facebook Sued Over Allegedly Allowing Chinese Counterfeiters to Sell Fake NFL Merchandise

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 15:47:00 +0000

I hate to say "I told ya so," but, if you read my blog dated June 12, it basically states exactly what one NFL merchandiser is alleging in a class action suit filed against Facebook yesterday in a California court.

The suit claims, because of Facebook's insatiable desire to break into the still untapped Chinese marketplace, it has aligned itself with a Chinese marketing firm called Adsage that has been repeatedly accused of doing business with counterfeit entities in numerous countries across the globe.

To make matters worse, the suit accuses Facebook of helping these marketers -both legal and illegal- gain access to your data by "opening" their source code to its Chinese partners. Thus, if you routinely visit pages that promote the NFL, chances are you will be prompted to click on ads for "Authentic NFL Jerseys" that are anything but.

Of course, Facebook continues to hide behind its 'Cone of Silence'. Even stranger, is the fact that I've submitted at least half a dozen articles on Facebook's immoral, and possibly illegal, business practices to the Huffington Post and have been completely stonewalled. No matter what they're accused of, stalking, counterfeiting, identity theft, sex trafficking, murder, etc. etc., the Huff will not say a negative word about Mr. Zuckerberg and co.

In recent months, Apple and Google have both been caught spying on its users. The implications of the world's largest social networking site sharing all your info is huge. Not only in the area of counterfeit goods, but, in the realm of security, as well.

Chris Clayton, editor-in-chief of Delta Skymag, recently published an article demonstrating how futile, and near impossible, it is to hide your information once it's out there, and how readily available it is for those seeking to gain access to it.

As usual, our esteemed lawmakers seem to be asleep at the wheel when it involves anything to do with cyberspace. It took them six years to pass the CAN-SPAM act. When it comes to online issues, congress moves about as fast as a python that just ate a bear.

There needs to be a bill introduced in congress that mandates prison time, as well as heavy fines, for any CEO whose company is proven, knowingly or unknowingly, to be sharing its users personal information with other entities. That's the only way you motivate the tech geeks to make sure their first priority is your protection, and not their pocketbook.

Don't be surprised, if, in the coming weeks, more companies 'Like' this particular lawsuit.

Why Romney Must Lose; One Florida Family's Fight for Adequate Health Care

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 18:41:00 +0000

Ashtyn Montali of Boynton Beach, Florida, is your average, every day, nine year-old girl. She likes catching butterflies, riding horses, and drawing pictures. Only, Ashtyn can't do any of those things, because she suffers from severe cerebral palsy. She's also a quadriplegic.

Ashtyn was born a healthy baby girl, but was deprived of oxygen in an incubator at the hospital that delivered her. This lack of oxygen caused her to suffer irreparable brain damage. It took her parents over a year before they were able to trace the cause of their daughter's illness.

Now, nine, and confined to a wheel chair 24/7, Ashtyn needs constant physical therapy, as well as a litany of extremely expensive medications, just to make it through the day. Because she eats through a feeding tube, and suffers from severe reflux, Ashtyn requires a specific type of formula; one which contains no amino acids and costs about $600/month.

Up until recently, all of Ashtyn's medical expenses were covered by Florida's medicaid plan; her therapy, her formula, her surgeries, cases of diapers, etc. However, in July of last year, her coverage expired, due simply to the fact that her father, who had been out work for years, found a job. So, the state of Florida claimed her family wasn't "poor enough" anymore. Translation; they earned over $40k. It's situations like this that make it easy to see why 47% of the population call themselves victims.

When Ashtyn was just 3 years-old, her parents applied for Med-Waiver, a state-run program which paid for medical expenses not typically covered by Medicaid. Unfortunately, the waiting list for the Med-Waiver program was over 19,000 people long; making Ashtyn 19,001.

Thanks to Florida Governor, Rick Scott, it matters not how many people are in front of Ashtyn now, as one of his first tasks when taking office was to cut the Med-Waiver program to shreds. Keep in mind, this is the same Rick Scott whose private, for-profit, health care co., HCA, admitted to over a dozen felonies regarding Medicare billing, and, of which, he was CEO. Surprise, Scott was not implicated.

For the past year and a half, Ashtyn's parents, Leslie and Adam Montali, have been trying to get Adam's company, Reverse Mortgage Solutions, a Texas-based lending co. with offices nationwide, to expand their employee insurance plan to include a better policy for family members. These talks are still on going.

Because they have no choice but to take the "bottom of the barrel" health care plan from dad's company, the Montalis now pay a $1,000/month premium, plus a 20% deductible, and all the other wonderful, additional costs, e.g., higher co-pays, more out-of-pocket expenses, etc.

This is where the merry-go-round spins even faster. According to Ashtyn's mom, Leslie, United Health Care, the umbrella company that insures RMS, has informed the Montalis:

"Even if the formula Ashtyn needs is her soul source of nutrition, they still won't cover a dime."

You don't need a degree in astrophysics to figure out what that means. United blames RMS for the Montali's lack of coverage. They go on to say that Ashtyn's medication, which costs upwards of $160.00/wk, is also not covered. Because, it's "only for the elderly," and a nine year-old girl "shouldn't need it." Meanwhile, a nine year-old with osteopenia has the bones of a 90 year old, and that particular medication is the only thing keeping them from getting worse. Incidentally, just recently, Ashtyn broke her arm. Her parents have no idea how she did it.

Making matters even more bizarre, is the involvement of the third-party health care co., Optum Health Solutions, which is overseeing Ashtyn's physical therapy sessions. Optum recently sent a letter to Ashtyn's school, requiring she be "evaluated every 3 months," as to determine the 'validity' of the therapy. They even went as far as to say, in writing, they believe Ashtyn has reached "Maximum therapeutic benefit" - which is corporate slang for "We don't believe she will ever get better."

This letter, a letter which is basically denying the daily therapy Ashtyn needs to function with any sort of stability, is coming from a company run by doctors, who, without ever meeting or evaluating Ashtyn, have determined - basically from a fax,- she's not worth the expense. Never mind the fact that, without constant therapy, Ashtyn's muscles will atrophy, her lungs could fill up with fluid, her scoliosis will get progressively worse, and her bones will break even easier than they do now. In some cases, therapy is preventative as well as rehabilitative.

The above is just a snippet of one family's struggle - an ongoing struggle to fight for the health care their sick, little girl needs, as well as a struggle to avoid the economic disaster that seems to be lurking in the not-to-distant future, should her father's company decide to keep the same plan.

If, however, RMS eventually decides to switch their coverage with United, then Ashtyn would be fully covered as early as January, 2013. Thanks, of course, to Obama passing the law which declares pre-exisiting conditions must be covered for children under 18. That's best case scenario.
Worst case is, Romney wins the election and follows through with his plan to
"Let the states take care of their own poor."
Forget for a moment, the condescending attitude that leads one to believe, if you can't afford tens of thousands of dollars in medical bills every year, you're 'poor.' Instead, think about the fact that putting health care into the hands of governors like Rick Scott, is the equivalent of putting the butcher in charge of protecting the cows.

Again, the solution to the health care crisis is very simple: take away congress's benefits and force them to swim in the sewage with the rest of us. I guarantee we'd have government-sponsored, universal coverage, in place by next Tuesday.

Anyone wishing to donate to Ashtyn Montali's charity, Butterfly Dreams, can click the link below.

ashysbutterflydreams.com

On the Eleventh Anniversary of 9/11, Those Who Volunteered Are Still Literally Left in the Dust

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:40:00 +0000

Seriously. What's wrong with us? As human beings, we're supposed to be the "highest evolved" species on the planet. As Americans, the thing we seem most highly evolved at, is in thinking of ways to f#ck each other over. Especially, when it involves money.

Whether it's on a Federal level, such as FEMA imposing additional suffering on legitimate victims of Hurricane Katrina, or the city of Los Angeles attempting to extort a measly $1000 ambulance bill from the family of a woman who was electrocuted trying to rescue a fellow motorist in a storm that downed power lines, or the owners of a local towing company in Florida who sent a $300 bill to a woman who was set on fire by her ex, for the removal of both their vehicles, there doesn't seem to be a limit to the lengths some of us will go to if it means avoiding a potential financial loss, no matter how small the amount, or how great the cost to our souls.

That includes denying the now hundreds of chronically ill volunteers who went down to Ground Zero the day after the attacks, not only compensation for their illness, but refusing to simply acknowledge some of them were even there. Because acknowledging it means someone has to pay. And, as if the illnesses and loss of quality of life - and, in some cases, life itself - weren't bad enough, the insurance companies and funds set up to "help" the victims of 9/11, seem, in most situations, to be doing exactly the opposite.

The very next morning, after the events that changed the world forever, and left the lower portion of the greatest city in the world in a twisted, crippled pile of metal and concrete we're still clearing to this day, my friend, Jaime Hazan, a former EMT for six years in New City, N.Y., was down at Ground Zero doing what came naturally to him. Helping to clear the wreckage, and, possibly, maybe even rescue any potential survivors.

He had no idea there would be none. He had no idea the dust and debris he was breathing, even through a mask, and only for a day, would, five years later, lead him to doctor after doctor trying to figure out why, this once healthy, vibrant guy who ran his own tech company, suddenly found it so difficult to breathe he could barely get out of bed. He also had no idea that the words used to describe him in the days and months following the attacks - words like "Hero," and "New York's Bravest," would eventually be replaced with terms like "fraud," and "phony" by lawyers whose job it was to make sure the insurance companies didn't have to pay a dime.

See, while many of the police, fire, and ambulance workers had finally begun to receive a portion of their long-overdue compensation for illnesses they incurred while on the job, guys like Jaime, who were not officially affiliated with any city rescue organization, were asked to prove that they were there. These volunteers ended up in 'No-Man's-Land,' and, even though Article 8A of the New York State Workman's Comp. Act is supposed to make it easier for volunteers to collect the same benefits, try proving you were somewhere five, or even ten years, after the fact. Now, try proving it to an insurance company.

We all recognize and acknowledge that the big insurance companies have to protect themselves from fraud; from those soulless impostors who are single-handedly responsible for our insurance and credit card rates skyrocketing higher each and every year, and who, even (or especially) in the case of disasters which result in the loss of thousands of lives, will try and weasel a few bucks out of the cookie jar for themselves, even if it means the real victims suffer for it. We all readily acknowledge that -mostly because we're the ones footing the bill for it. But, at some point, they, too, must acknowledge that not everyone is a fraud. Not everyone wants to risk jail time and bilk innocent victims out of their due compensation, just to satisfy some sadistic sociopathic need in themselves. And, when the testimony and physical evidence is overwhelming to the point of medical records, affidavits, a leading doctor's official diagnosis, post traumatic stress disorder, a myriad of respiratory issues, esophageal surgery, and massive weight loss, you'd think that would be good enough for them. Well, think again.

Aside from the fact that he was in perfect health before taking part in what was the equivalent of walking around in the aftermath of an atomic bomb, and aside from the fact that, just a few years later, his lungs were now virtually useless, and aside from the fact that the heartburn he was suffering from on a daily basis was so severe, even triple doses of Zantac were an exercise in futility, according to the insurance company, he still needed to come up with "proof."

After leaving Ground Zero, and never thinking in his wildest dreams that, years later, he'd ever be in a situation like this - one where his integrity would continue to be questioned beyond all reasonable limits, he tossed his boots into the garbage. The boots which contained the dust that could've proved he was there. But, as they say, the Lord works in mysterious ways, and the guy Jaime happened to be standing next to that day, - a day of pure chaos and utter disorganization - was capt. John McDonough, an EMT from Rockland County, N.Y., and a former co-worker of Jaime's from back in his EMT days.

They hadn't seen each other in years, and yet, here they were, two former friends meeting again on top of a forty-ft. high, smoldering pile of steel. Both, trying to make sense of it all. Both, heeding their inherent calls to "do something, anything." To help.

It was Capt. McDonough, who Jaime called upon when his word was questioned by the Fund's attorneys, to provide an affidavit to the court stating he was, in fact, there at Ground Zero - "In the Zone" as they call it, - and, thus, should be entitled to the same benefits as any other officially sanctioned rescue worker.

Still, according to Jaime, the other side wouldn't budge. They threw everything they could at him. From trying to argue his benefits should be denied because his EMT card had "expired," to the fact that he didn't actually "rescue" anyone, consequently, he was just there "hanging out."

As the insanity of his legal battle played out before his eyes, and, as this former millionaire web developer who, due to his inability to work for years, now faced financial ruin, another miracle occurred.

Turns out, capt. McDonough's boss was there that day, as well, photographing the site. As a last ditch effort, Jaime asked his friend's boss to scour the hundreds of photos for any possible trace of him on the pile. And he found one. Considering the fog, dust, and debris permeating the air, a needle in a haystack would be an understatement in this particular instance. But, again, the lawyers shot back.

Because the picture he submitted was a profile shot, and he wasn't fully facing the camera, ... and he was wearing a mask (a mask given to him by Capt. McDonough, which probably saved his life), there was still no way to prove it was him.

Believe it or not, in a final attempt to discern whether or not it was, in fact, Jaime in the photo, the judge personally examined the curve of his receding hair line and determined that Jaime was, indeed, "In the Zone."

After finding in his favor, the judge went as far as to admonish the insurance company and its attorneys for showing an unprecedented display of apathy toward a person who had made such a sacrifice for his fellow citizens, and, who was simply asking to be taken care of, on the smallest level, now that he could no longer take care of himself (incidentally, the judgment awarded was for 25k).

In spite of it all, the attorneys recently filed an appeal, and it will be at least another year before Mr. Hazan sees any type of compensation. It's also possible, he may have to go back to court if the appeals process finds for the defense. If that happens, he won't be able to rely on Capt. McDonough, as he unfortunately passed away after a series of mysterious illnesses.

As bizarre as Jaime's story is, it's not unusual for many of the volunteers who've been ignored, and worse, harassed, by the same system supposedly there to help them.

One thing that needs to be mentioned is that, throughout his six-year-long ordeal, Jaime, who, before taking ill, was the CEO of a very successful tech start-up, has tried to remain silent about what was/is happening to him. Not only because his attorneys constantly tell him, if he talks he could jeopardize any possible future payout from the Victim's Compensation Fund, but because he's a guy who was always used to doing things for himself and never asked for a handout, no matter the circumstances. He never viewed himself as a victim. Nor does he now. He simply decided that, in the event he should not be around by the time his case is ultimately decided, he wants to do the right thing for the others who may be experiencing the same level of ambivalence and bureaucracy he's had to endure. Considering the 9/11 Fund was set up in 2010 and still hasn't paid a cent, there's probably a lot of them. Still, in spite of all this, knowing Jaime, he'd probably do it all over again.

And, as we remember the events of that day over a decade ago, which, even twenty years from now, will still probably seem like yesterday, one can only imagine all those people caught, without masks, in the dust cloud that morning. I hope they saved their hankies as proof.

(It's worth noting the Centers of Excellence at Mt. Sinai Hospital in N.Y.C. provides free care to Jaime and other victims of 9/11 through the Zadroga Bill.)

Jaime Hazan (blue t-shirt) stands next to the late Capt. John McDonough (in white)

Feds Ready to Acknowledge Ground Zero/Cancer Link and Human Beings Can't Fly.

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 19:08:00 +0000

After more than a decade of exhaustive tests and research by more than 100 top bio-tech scientists, the federal government appears ready to admit that two of their long-standing positions have been erroneous:

1. There is no link between those who worked to rescue victims at Ground Zero, on and after Sept. 11, 2001, and cancer.

2. Human beings can fly.

"The two tests were run independent of each other and the results just happen to come on the same day," states Dr. James Bader, leader of the 9/11 project and chair of H.C.D.R (the House Committee to Deny Responsibility).

"We tried everything we could to prove that the toxic dust those brave souls were breathing into their lungs on a daily basis, sometimes for months, was no more harmful than a high pollen count on a hot summer day. Unfortunately for us, all 265,000 mice we tested died just days after being exposed to microscopically smaller levels of contaminants. I, myself, tried to prove there was no link by voluntarily inhaling an airborne cocktail of asbestos, ground up metal fibers, computer parts, and fax machines, but... editor's note: Dr. Bader was unable to finish the interview, as he began coughing uncontrollably and was rushed to the hospital.

In an unrelated study, N.A.S.A. has reluctantly agreed to release its top-secret, 365-page report detailing their findings on Human Flight. Rumor has it, hackers working with the infamous document-leaking site, WikiLeaks, were threatening to go public with the report. Apparently, all ten thousand test subjects who applied for the study perished. The one possible breakthrough stated in the report appears to confirm what scientists have long suspected: gravity has the same effect on both males and females. As a result, the report recommends we stick with planes for the time being.

Divided We're Falling; And, I'm part of the problem

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 01:02:00 +0000

If there was anything good to come out of the tragedy of 9/11, it was the instantaneous connection that was born out of all us being victims, of all of us being targeted for our way of life, that seemed to bring each and every one of us together. Republicans. Democrats. Didn't matter. We were all the same. We were all Americans.

In the days, weeks, and even months following the attacks, there was a unity among us the likes of which - unless you were alive at the end of the second world war -most of us had never experienced, and, sadly, given the path we're currently on, may never see again.

I can vividly remember, in late 2001, walking out my building on 110th st. and Broadway and feeling completely bewildered, as total strangers said, "Hi," to each other as they passed on the street like it was Mayberry. People who knew each other for all of five seconds held conversations in bars as if they'd been going there together for years. Here we all were - so different and so far apart, yet, so close for such a brief moment in time - it felt like we could've all burst out in spontaneous song.

So much for nostalgia. The Kool-Aid we apparently drank has long run dry and has been replaced by the considerably less-palatable, castor oil. These days, you can't make it home from the market without hearing at least one passing stranger yell, "Douchebag!"

I don't know about you, but, between the trash-talking reality shows, the trash-talking media, and the three-ring circus that has become our political system, it certainly feels like we're collectively ready to embrace our inevitable fate; that of complete, moral dissolution. We seem to have adopted the mindset of a hundred million plus Slim Pickens'; all strapped to our A-bombs and giddily waving, as we helplessly watch what's left of our decency and respect for each other plunge toward earth, and their certain demise.

What happened to us? How did we fall so far so fast? Was it that we were always this way, and it took a tragedy like 9/11 to shock us into coming together for a few weeks? Or, is this simply the worst it's ever been?

Whatever the answer, all you need do is turn on the television or open a browser to witness the space between us growing wider each day. A space so wide, it makes the Grand Canyon look like a crack in the sidewalk.

Multiple wars on multiple fronts. The economy taking a swan dive. Unemployment hitting record highs. Wall Street executives getting away with billions unpunished. Gas prices skyrocketing, along with oil company profits. Leaders who can't be trusted. Unprecedented infighting amongst our politicians. The media, eager to let us know every time someone, somewhere, fucks up - and, they still can barely keep up.

It's not hard to point to a million reasons why most of us feel this country's on the wrong track. We're practically human pinatas, Pavlovianly conditioned for the next "poke" coming from the next flailing stick, before it even comes. Thus, after seeing story after story of who's screwing you over today, it's only natural to react defensively and adopt an "every man for himself" attitude.

However, as any half-wit knows, no matter how isolated you choose to remain, you can only go so far on your own. It's only when everyone pulls together as a team that we really have a fighting chance to emerge out of a mess like this.

Unfortunately, that's where we run into the real problem. Because, even though it's common knowledge that, if the group is to succeed, its success must be born through the efforts of individuals, yet, no matter how much, I, personally, would like to be one of those individuals, I simply cannot bring myself to do it. I cannot reach across the aisle and offer a proverbial olive branch to the other side, even if it means if we don't we're doomed. Because, simply stated, the other side is bat-shit crazy. And, the sad part is, I'm probably not alone.

As much as most of us would love to see this country back on top and prospering again, and no matter how much we would like to play some small role in the revitalization of it, the majority of us simply cannot bring ourselves to make the effort. And, the reason for that is simple. Our Achilles heel is the modern-day republican party.

It's absolutely mind-boggling that, at a time when we need some seriously rational thinkers, on both sides, the republicans have offered up exactly the opposite: Herman Cains, Sarah Palins, Michelle Bachmanns, Mitt Romneys, Paul Ryans, John Boehners, Todd Akins, Jan Brewers, Rick Scotts, Rick Perrys, Rick Santorums, etc. etc. It's like the credits at the end of some ridiculously bad B-movie; Attack of the Mindless Zealots from Planet Rick.

How can you have a meaningful discussion about anything when the main objective of your adversary is seeing you go down in flames - no matter what the cost? No one wins with that kind of attitude, but, as has been demonstrated time and time again, the republicans just don't give a sh#t. They're even crazy enough to engage in Kamikaze politics on their own battleships. But, why?

Perhaps, it's because they're scared. In the past decade, we've managed to lose most of our status as being the "best" at this or that, in almost every area, and now they're as frightened and paranoid as the manager of a ball club who's gone from first to worst. Yet, like a veteran team who used to bring home the trophies and is now hampered by injuries, high salaries, and lack of production, even though everything around them screams, "A change is needed!" they refuse. Because change is scary, and it takes guts and faith. And, despite all their talking about it, these are the two main things they lack most.

Remember the scene in the movie Contact where the great minds at N.A.S.A. decided they know more about safety in space than the aliens, so they build Jodie Foster a metal seat - complete with seatbelt - in the pod? Within seconds of the launch, the seat shakes so violently, if she didn't released herself, she would've been smashed to bits against the capsule wall. But, once she lets go and trusts the plan, and follows the logical course, she's exposed to wonders she'd never even dreamed of.

The point is, the scientists didn't trust what they didn't understand. Their fear of the unknown almost caused a catastrophe right out of the gate. The republicans are the same way. They don't trust concepts like alternative energy because they don't understand it, and they don't want to. They'd rather keep drilling for oil and gas until the entire planet resembles a practice target at a rifle range, because it's what they know. Forget about the fact that switching to hydro-electric, or solar, power would create more jobs and possibly even lead to unimaginable reserves of energy in the decades to come. They don't want to hear it. Because it takes guts to tell the big auto makers and the Arabs, "we're not going to be dependent on a finite resource like oil anymore."

Old school thinking won't bring our country back to where it was. Nor, will keeping your head in the sand - and talking about "progress" when everyone and their mother knows you're only plan is to maintain the status quo and not rock the boat. Only forward thinking can accomplish that; Health care for everyone, natural resources for energy, the rich paying more taxes than the poor, cutting the defense budget and putting it toward education, labeling harmful foods -especially for children, gun control, etc. etc. All these subjects are simple common sense. Yet, what are the republicans focused on? Defeating gay marriage, moving women's rights back to the dark ages, and making sure Mexicans go back to Mexico. Bravo, gang. You should be proud.

Until a messiah comes along strong enough to withstand the bullshit being hurled at light speed, the soundtrack to our generation won't be a rock band. It'll be the redundantly bitter, spiteful rhetoric, spewing forth, unchecked, from both sides of the aisle - like a pundit version of the Deepwater Horizon. Hopefully, it won't take another disaster to cap it. 'Til then, all we can do is hold on tight and brace for impact.

KKK Sues GOP; Claim Multiple Patent Infringements

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 15:55:00 +0000

In a 48 page complaint filed in federal court this morning, the Selma, Alabama-based White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan have alleged that, during the past eight months of the 2012 presidential nomination campaign, the GOP have repeatedly infringed on over half a dozen patents, which the white supremacist group say they own.

Virgil Cooley, Grand Wizard of the KKK, spoke with members of the media outside his Chik-Fil-A franchise after the suit was filed. "This is an egregious and blatant violation of our rights as Americans, and businessmen. The Klan has spent the better part of the last two centuries crafting and building our brand of fear, discrimination and intimidation of gays, blacks, Jews, Muslims, Mexicans, women, and other minorities too insignificant to even mention here. And, for the GOP to think they can just waltz in and take over our party, is not only illegal, but un-American. We ask the court to grant full restitution."

Mr. Cooley then proceeded to rattle off a list of several of the patents in question:

1. The Hypocritical "U-S-A!" Chant: "Anyone can chant U-S-A! U-S-A!" claims Mr. Cooley. "But, it was the Klan that first put the "hate" behind the once bland, patriotic cheer. Before we came along, that chant did nothing more than announce to anyone within earshot these were a bunch of folks who were proud to be Americans. It wasn't until we turned those cheers into a form of ridicule with hypocrisy, intolerance, and anger, that the half-breeds and scum that currently occupy our homeland finally got the message to KEEP OUT!"

2. Benevolent outward appearance (the "G.F.C" Credo): "Ask anyone on the street; when it comes to projecting a wholesome image of God, family, and community, who are the experts? That's right, we are. The Klan were the first to live and work among our sub-human neighbors during the day as if we were one, big, happy family. Did we ever display our despise for them in public? Of course not. On the contrary, men whose wives baked cookies for the local bake sale, and who were prominent local businessmen, themselves, never let you see so much as a glimpse as to what they'd really like to do to you. No matter what that clown Romney would have you believe, the invention of the friendly and empathetic front is 100% Klan and 0% GOP.

3. Anti-Abortion: "I guess folks need them a little refresher course in their history lesson. It was the Klan that began protesting the killing of white babies in the early 1920's, when it wasn't even fashionable, yet. And, at least we got the guts to admit we don't give a crap what happens to the black and hispanic ones."

4. Using the Bible as an Excuse for Everything: "Once again, it was the Klan who first decided to indiscriminately pick and choose what passages we liked, and didn't like, from the bible, then demand everyone follow along or face our fists. Not all of the commandments, o' course. Just the ones that furthered our agenda."

5. Treating Those Different from You with Scorn and Hate: "This one's the capper. I will be presenting actual super-8 footage from my ninth birthday, back in '58, of my daddy telling me that anyone different from me was to be feared and stopped at all costs. And, that I should use violence, gossip, and innuendo to make sure they didn't pollute my good neighbors' thoughts with their differences." Let's see the GOP challenge that."

6. Out and Out Lying: "C'mon. This is a no-brainer, folks. No one is better at telling a lost, misguided, easily-impressionable soul what they want to hear more than a hate group. Where do you think the GOP get the topics for their endless supply of boldface lies they tell? And, whose instructional DVDs and video tapes do you think they purchased over the past year, online, to teach them how to do it with a straight face? We will be presenting those documents and sales receipts in court, as well."

Mr. Cooley wrapped up his speech by adding, "This is really an open and shut case. Thus, before we begin the lengthy process of a trail, I would like to appeal to the GOP's sense of decency and ask them, from one hate group to another, 'Let's face the facts and man up!' Because, I sure as heck don't wanna live in a world where a bunch of millionaires in fancy suits can come along and steal and plagiarize the methods your granddaddy, and his granddaddy before, spent their lives creating, and use them as if they were their own. I will say this, though; I do admire how they figured out how to do it without the hoods. Those things can get pretty damn hot in the summertime."

The Klan are seeking unspecified monetary damages, and have asked the judge to immediately require their logo and TM be applied to all buttons and propaganda at future GOP rallies.

Hooters CEO Admits Restaurant Chain is Christian Right's Secret Weapon in Forcing Closet Gays "Out"

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Sat, 28 Jul 2012 15:03:00 +0000

The Hooters restaurant chain is famous for two things. And neither one of them is on the menu. They claim their popularity is due to the fact that they serve the best burgers and wings in the business. In reality, most folks know it's nothing more than your average pub fare served by incredibly, sexy, well-built women.

In light of the recent fervor caused by Chik-Fil-A CEO, Dan Cathy, denouncing gay marriage, Hooters co-founder, Ron Trench, has come forward in support of the family-oriented chicken franchise and admitted the original motivation behind Hooters was to throw the "kitchen sink" at America's male population, and, hopefully, force the ones in denial, out.

Mr. Trench states, "The worst thing about our country's enemies these days is you never know who they might be. The same goes for homosexuals. Identifying them becomes much easier if they dress and act the way they're supposed to."

Mr. Trench claims to speak from personal experience. "Back in college, I roomed with a guy. Great guy. Freshman year we did everything together. Played golf, went to the beach, etc. One night, we hit a sports bar, had a few beers, and, when I suggested we check out this local strip club I heard about, he comes out and tells me he's gay. I was horrified. Absolutely panic-stricken. Here was a guy I showered with and got dressed in front of for six months! The worst part, was that I was actually thinking of going into business with him. Thus, on the drive home, the idea for Hooters was born. Let's see if we can't drag those 'drags' out into the daylight."

He goes on to say, "The concept behind Hooters was simple. Use All-American guy stuff, e.g., burgers, wings, sports on big screen T.V.'s, etc., to lure guys of all shapes and sizes into our establishments. Then, we hit 'em with sex. When you combine food, sports, booze, and sex, it's a pretty irresistible combination. And, studies show, when you put a 'normal' drunk guy in the presence of a super hot blonde, he will make a total ass out of himself, every time, without fail, e.g., overt flirting, rude and inappropriate comments, drooling, groping, etc. Basically, a good-looking woman will turn any normal male into a babbling, moronic idiot. But, it's the ones that keep their composure, calmly finish their meal, and, odds are, never once sneak a peak at the waitresses ass - or worse - the tie ballgame being broadcast on thirty jumbo screens right in front of his face - that we identify as possible homosexuals and take the appropriate next steps."

According to Mr. Trench, those "next steps" include forwarding the customer's credit card info and home address to underground, right wing think tanks, who then monitor the individual, and, possibly, even go as far as customizing Facebook ads, e.g., a big sale on decorative drapes from Pier One Imports, to see if the user clicks on it.

"At that point, if they take the 'bait,' we know what we're dealing with. They're tagged and followed like penguins. Gay penguins, of course. But, still... And, like I said, it's better to know your enemy than to not. In reality, all we're doing is holding up a mirror and saying "C'mon, look at these women. You're not even the slightest bit aroused. Isn't it time you were honest with yourself?" Not to mention, in some cases, men who've been to our restaurants and have gone home wondering why they never even experienced so much as a twinge in their nether regions, have simply outted themselves. And, obviously, that makes our job much easier. But, the real reward is seeing your hard work paying off, firsthand. I've been to several political rallies where men who've been outted by our restaurant have come up and thanked me."

A spokesman for GLAAD had no comment.

Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, and The Ghost of Hitler Join Forces for Family-Aid; The Concert to Benefit Bigotry

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 23:29:00 +0000

Live Aid. Farm Aid. And now, "Family Aid."

It's moments like this that make you proud to be American. When a small, useless minority of second-class citizens threaten to disrupt the nationwide enterprise that is good ole fashioned Fast Food with a touch of hatred, it's inspiring to know a few of our country's bravest leaders will risk their necks, as well as pocketbooks, and, not only speak out in defense of these poor, deep-frying, God-fearing proprietors, but will take action to make sure it ne'er happens again.

That's just what men like Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, and, thanks to advancements made in the controversial field of Religious Paranormal Emergency Resuscitation (R.P.E.R.), a Star-Trek-like process in which only those "pure of heart" may ask God to get directly involved in matters where the bible is being challenged and instantly beam a historical figure of their choosing down to assist, the Ghost of Adolf Hitler has arrived to lend a hand.

"It matters not that the doubters say it's just a look-alike in a Nazi uniform," says Reverend James Atchity, founder of the R.P.E.R. Institute. "What matters is that Messrs Santorum and Huckabee now have the spiritual support to continue their never-ending fight to wipe out tolerance wherever it may rear its ugly head." The Rev. does have a point. After all, who better to join them than one of the founding fathers of discrimination, be he real or a paid impersonator?

Other popular Midwestern franchises, such as Jesus Burger and Mother Mary's Meatballs and Subs, have already pledged their support. "We feel it's about time someone came to defend the family and defend hatred," states Tuck Leggard, CEO of Jesus Burger. He then added, "We're not crazy about the word 'Aids' in the title, though. Maybe they can change it to "Family Relief? Although, that might sound like the whole family's takin' a pee."

Janice Summers, a mother of five from Des Moines, IA., who stood online three days to purchase tickets, said, "I'm not sure what all these gays are whinin' about in the first place. Everyone knows eatin' chicken doesn't make you gay. Eatin' pizza does. So, let's clear that myth up once and for all."

Fred Stokes, a lawyer for right-wing Super PAC "Gay Gay Go Away," commented, "Is there something wrong with teaching your kids a little bit of hypocrisy while they eat their lunch? Last I checked, it was a free country - although, if that socialist Obama has his way, we're all doomed. Besides, I'd much prefer a dashboard Jesus with my Happy Meal than some cheap rendition of a washed-up Frog. Screw them Muppets."

Mr. Stokes goes on to say, "If I may, here's two simple pieces of advice for the Gay and Lesbian community."

1.) If you're so upset about not being able to eat at some fried chicken place, instead of crying about it, why not start one yourselves? You could call it "Chik-For-Gay". Done and done.

2.) Please stop referring to yourselves as "Gays and Lesbians." Lesbians are, in fact, gay already, no? Which means, by using that particular calling card, you're basically referring to yourselves as, The 'Gay and gay community.' Instead, why not try something more creative? I'm not creative, so I don't know, but you types are."

Again. Proud to be American.

(As of this publishing, no acts have agreed to perform)

Brian Dunkleman Was Right; How "Idol" -and Shows Like it- Pushed Us Past the Point of No Return

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Sat, 14 Jul 2012 14:28:00 +0000

For the better part of the last decade, Brian Dunkleman's name has been synonymous with bonehead moves. He's been used as a punch line from Comedy Central to The Simpsons to Family Guy. Most of time playing off of the fact that, by quitting as co-host of American Idol after its first season, he was the dumbest guy, not only in TV, but in America; the "Pete Best of Prime Time," as Howard Stern once called him.

In writer/director Rod Lurie's political thriller, The Contender, The President, played brilliantly by a cynical-yet-noble Jeff Bridges, states "Sometimes greatness comes in the form of sacrifice. That's the loneliest form." Granted, the guy isn't Joan of Arc. He was just a T.V. host. But, the quote does, in fact, apply in regards to what Dunkleman gave up and had to endure (five years on the Hollywood blacklist) because of what he, personally, didn't want to be a part of.

Here was a guy who saw what was happening to the kids on this new, yet untested, show he was the co-star of and, because of that, he made an incredibly tough, and subsequently, wildly unpopular decision to walk away. Did he know he was sacrificing millions at the time? Probably not. But, the show was a hit and he was the host.

He hasn't spoken about his decision to leave Idol in years, but, somehow, while talking with him last week, I managed to get him to open up about it.

"You have to remember," he said, "this was the first time anyone had ever seen abuse like this on national television. And, it was being done to children. On purpose." He goes on to say, "When American Idol first launched back in the summer of 2002, the most awful thing anyone had seen to that point was a bunch of drunken college kids arguing on The Real World or contestants eating a handful of snakes on Survivor."

We talked about the fact that, since that time, it's not uncommon to watch six-year-old pageant contestants push each other off the stage, mothers who encourage that behavior, teens setting homeless people on fire on Youtube, and bimbos hitting each other in the face with frying pans, in the hopes of winning a date with some rich schmuck who'll dump them five seconds after the cameras stop rolling. And, oh yeah, there's still kids being insulted and humiliated all over the place, but, at this point, we're so desensitized to it it's like coming home to a warm bath. It's where we turn for comfort when Drunken Pregnant Teen Moms becomes a bit too much (we still have some standards). Gone are the days when adults criticizing kids was so shocking it prompted Oprah to devote an entire show to it. These days, at some point or another, most of the same producers have done business with her.

I half-jokingly quipped that perhaps Simon Cowell is responsible for the decay of western civilization as we know it, to which he responded, "Simon's a great guy. He really is. And, while it's obviously never one person's fault, he knew, and knows, exactly what he was doing. But, it wasn't just him. It was all of the show's producers moving their focus away from what was supposed to be the show's goal - of finding undiscovered talent - and, instead, zeroing in on finding undiscovered talent they could make cry. To them, adults making children cry in prime time television was a ratings bonanza. It turned out they weren't wrong. But, I wanted no part of it."

As my dad always says, "Pay me now, or pay me later." Well, when it comes to the hedonistic culture we've carved out for ourselves using the twisted and backwards formula Reality Shows+Social Media+Quick-Buck-Lifestyle=happiness, it certainly seems now is "later." And, boy are we paying. It's almost like the entire country signed up to watch an Anti-Tony Robbins seminar and we're all valedictorian.

Almost every aspect of our lives has been dramatically altered by the one-two punch of reality shows and Twitter, followed closely behind by the incessant barrage of online news telling you who's doing better than you. For most of us at this point, real life does, indeed, seem like a reality show:

Wall St. bandits run off with your money and you're stuck having to work two jobs to buy a tank of gas. Meanwhile, some guy shoots everyone in the house next door to you, and your wife finds out you're cheating on her because your girlfriend tweeted it. In between those wonderful moments, the media bombards us with images of celebrities, tech geeks, athletes, and people who are famous for being drunk who make more in five minutes than you will in your lifetime.

Now, grab a beer - or five- and you're ready to flick on that T.V., or laptop, and curl up with pundits arguing, mob wives arguing, teenagers arguing, wannabe chefs, models, and hairstylists arguing, children crying, or the icing on the cake, some serious-ass beatings on UFC!

Of course, let's not forget the parents of the six-year-old kid who made that video Youtube just took down, who defiantly say they're looking forward to video #2. Of course, they are. To them, the controversy means a potential payday. Forget about the fact it's bordering on child abuse to encourage sexual and suggestive behavior between a first grader and strippers. In the end, it's just another news byte.

The reality is, reality T.V. has completely destroyed our sense of decency toward one another, while causing us to re-prioritize our goals. It's more important now that our favorite couple wins Dancing with the Stars than it is to make sure our kid isn't out there snorting bath salts and eating the neighbor's face off.

Nowhere is this sentiment better represented than in the speech given by "Frank," the anti-hero in director Bobcat Goldthwaite's dark dramedy, God Bless America. In it, Frank talks about how, not only have we lost our morals, we wear our shamelessness as a badge of honor. He talks about how the entire country has become the Colosseum and we're the eager Romans. Constantly pining to see the gladiators fight to the death.

If you step back and look at the stories of cannibalism, kid shootings, setting ex-girlfriends on fire (and the towing company making the burned victim pay for her car removal), cutting people up and mailing their body parts, eating your roommate's heart and brain, and cutting out your own intestines and throwing it at the police, to name just a few, he may have a point.

No matter how old or young we are, we all, to some degree or another, emulate what we see on screens, big or small. Remember the 70s movie, The Warriors? People ran out of the theaters, charged into bathrooms, and ripped the sinks out of the walls. Now, imagine The Warriors is on 24/7 on every channel. That's what it's like today. It's amazing they haven't done Barney gets a Beatdown yet on Sprout.

Is there a link between reality shows and reality? The Washington Post reports 63% of adults think this country is on the wrong track. You can't say that none of that comes from the media. We're not just talking reality shows, either. The selfish, quick and easy way is evident all around us. Just ask a Kardashian.

Practically all music played on the radio sounds like it was written, produced, and released in five minutes to parrot the tone of our culture (Call Me, Maybe!) Movies have gone beyond just being sequel-happy. Forget about parts 2 and 3. Studios have no qualms remaking part 1 over and over again (Spiderman) if it means a quick weekend return. Less work, maybe. Less creativity, brain activity, and art. Absolutely. Sure, there will always be some great artists out there, but now you have to wade through a swamp to find them, and by that time, yer covered from head to toe in you-know-what.

Don't think for a second that the folks down at "City Hall" are above all this insanity. The obvious sad "reality" is, our elected officials, the ones we ask to lead by example, seem dead set on trying to do everything they can to emulate the immature, uncompromising, apathetic behavior emulated by reality shows.
br /> Congress is at a stalemate. The Supreme Court argue like infants. And, stubborn governors openly defy the president, promising to refuse his executive orders, so, "Nyah, nyah, nyah to your health care bill!"

Of course, it's not Simon Cowell's fault. But, giving him, and the Cowellettes, twenty different talent shows on five different networks certainly doesn't help matters much.

The way things are now, we could definitely use a few more Brian Dunkleman's. Not only in entertainment, but in business, politics, education, etc.

You can keep your mega-rich Ryan Seacrest's. I'll take a broke Brian Dunkleman anytime, and twice on Sunday.

"Shorely, You Can't Be Serious." (Residents of Pt. Pleasant Vote for Booze Curfew)

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 19 Jun 2012 16:52:00 +0000

If there's anyone who knows what it's like to live in a noisy part of town, it's yours truly. A few years back, I moved to Hoboken with the hope of avoiding the calamity and insanity of Manhattan. Little did I know the quiet I so desperately desired would be short-lived, as the incessant noises of "progress" began, in earnest, shortly after.

Nowadays, you might as well call the area around my building "Post-War Iraq." With half a dozen new condos going up (as well as a Trader Joe's), the reconstruction of the viaduct linking us to Jersey City (personally, I feel we should sever it), the six-nights-a-week garbage pick up (at 3:30a.m.), and the screaming, drunken stragglers stumbling out of the Biergarten down the street each and every weekend, I think I can identify with the residents of Point Pleasant, N.J., who, in their own desperate attempt for peace and quiet, just voted to cease the sale of alcohol after midnight beginning July 1.

A second part of the law, which would have allowed bars wanting to remain open 'til 2 to pay a sixty-dollar per-person "extortion tax," was voted down.

As much as I empathize with their situation, I have to ask; "Are you Nuts?"

Trading a few extra "theoretical" hours of peace and quiet in exchange for the decimation of a sizable chunk of the town's revenue, just doesn't make sense. Besides, noisy, drunken revelers are as much a part of the tapestry of the Jersey Shore as high rent and sirens are to Manhattan. They've been around longer than the dinosaurs.

In the long run, there's little chance this ordinance will succeed, because the consequences will be too dire.

A few examples of these consequences might be:

a). Many regulars who vacation in Point Pleasant will simply vacate to the surrounding towns.

b). As a result of this mass exodus, revenue will drop considerably, thus, the city council will be forced to raise taxes.

c). When the clock strikes 11:55, patrons will line up ten shots of Patron in order to beat the curfew. This will, no doubt, result in more D.U.I's and raise the risk of injury to residents and tourists alike.

d). Why stop there? If the midnight alcohol ban is successful, the city council will move for a noise ordinance requiring private residences to shut down parties after midnight. The subsequent loss of interest in the Point Pleasant rental market will be substantial.

Perhaps the people of Point Pleasant got the idea for the alcohol curfew from their neighbors in Sea Girt, as they already have a midnight ban on alcohol. The problem is, there are two major differences: One is, Sea Girt is an affluent town and doesn't rely on revenue from its bars to thrive. The second is, Sea Girt only has a few bars to begin with, compared with literally dozens in Point Pleasant. Thus, the financial damage for the city of Point Pleasant will be exponentially greater.

At present, folks in Sea Girt who wish to party past midnight simply jump in a cab and head to one of the surrounding towns. If the same is true for Point Pleasant, the one industry that will undeniably benefit from this curfew will be the taxi companies.

Is Facebook Knowingly Allowing Counterfeit Websites to Access Your Information?

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 06:58:00 +0000

There are scores of unanswered questions when it comes to the kinds of tactics advertisers are using these days to better monitor our shopping habits and the things we 'like.'

Both Apple and Google have already been caught with their pants down, secretly trying to keep tabs on where we go and what we do. There's little doubt, these gigantic companies we're entrusting to protect our data and keep it out of the hands of those who would use it for unfair or illegal purposes can't keep their eyes on everything all the time. They're simply too big and there's too much data being exchanged to hope for that kind of Utopian reality.

For instance, take the area of counterfeit merchandising. The selling of phony, unlicensed goods to unsuspecting consumers through overseas, and sometimes local, websites is one of the world's fastest-growing illegal business scams. In part, because these Internet criminals are using more sophisticated and brazen ways to pinpoint and target what you may currently be in the market for.

Case in point, apparently Facebook (surprise) is once again on the hot-seat for allowing sites that sell counterfeit merchandise to run rampant through its backyard, all while under the guise of a legitimate "umbrella" marketing company. The kicker here being the biggest alleged umbrella is in China. And, as most of us know, due to its networking potential, Facebook is currently illegal in China.

However, according to Eric Feinberg, founder of F.A.K.E. (Fans Against Kounterfeit Enterprise), a little government censorship's not stopping companies based in mainland China from marketing their services to companies - both legitimate, and fraudulent - worldwide.

"We have concrete proof that Facebook is not only allowing, but obviously, profiting, off the monitoring of its users by companies whose sole purpose is to take that data and use it to sell you counterfeit merchandise."

According to Feinberg, the main suspect in this case is a Shanghai-based marketing giant called adSage. Founded by former Microsoft adCenter programmer/manager, ZhaoHui Tang, adSage is the official partner of Facebook as it tries to claw its way into the lucrative, and virtually untapped, Chinese marketplace. adSage boasts over 3000 clients worldwide. Some are legitimate - such as Lever Bros. and top Chinese search engine, Baidu, - and some are not. These 'nots' are illegal overseas businesses which sign up for the same Facebook targeted marketing campaigns as the real guys. What supposedly happens next is exactly what Facebook says it's not doing; the covert monitoring of your activity and posts, and the mining of your data, which is then sent to these clients and used to create customized "clickable" ads specifically pertaining to what you just discussed or posted, as recently as twenty minutes ago. And, if these con-artists are willing to sell you bogus goods without blinking, imagine what else they're doing with your data.

The problem here is two-fold: Obviously, being sent links from illegal companies posing as the real deal is one. The other, is the massive ethical and fiduciary responsibility Facebook is potentially violating by allowing adSage, and companies like it, to tap into its application's software code and track your movements without your knowledge. This process even has a name: A.F.P. "adSage For Performance." Which, the company website boldly boasts, "means quicker classification and behavior of the user... which is then available in a fraction of the time to adSage's analytical team." Or, loosely translated, "We can tell you who they are, where they are, and exactly what they're looking for, in about ten minutes."

Feinberg, who designs and manages numerous Facebook fan/promotional pages for various professional sports teams, claims when he mentions the Pro Bowl funny things begin happening. "The Pro Bowl takes place in Hawaii, so Facebook and its marketers think I live in Hawaii, thus, within minutes, adds for all things Hawaiian begin appearing on my page. Not to mention the deluge of counterfeit NFL merchandise." Kay'Lee Wells, one of Feinberg's associates, experimented by changing her profile pic to a bag by designer Louis Vuitton, and, the very next day, she began seeing ads for counterfeit Louis Vuitton bags. "Whenever I changed my cover photo or made comments about certain things, ads would pop up," she added.

You don't need a Ph.D. from Stanford to see the long-term implications of guerrilla tactics such as these are much scarier than buying a fake Green Bay Packers jersey. For instance, a new virus has recently appeared which targets your browser, not your hard drive, making it virtually impossible to detect. How does it spread? Clicking on a link. It's a sobering thought knowing even the companies who swear up and down they're not selling your data might not even be aware they're doing it. If, in fact, they are aware, that's another subject, entirely.

Bottom line, no matter who they are or what they're doing with our information, three things are for certain:

1. Congress is light years behind technology with regard to the passage of new laws and the creation of more rigid parameters that can better keep up with, and better regulate, this constantly-evolving medium. But, who are we kidding? By the time the 'Hatfields' and 'McCoys' agree on what to have for breakfast, a hundred new websites have already launched, looking to steal your information, and/or identity, and doing it with technology that was state-of-the-art yesterday but is obsolete, today. It's the socio-political equivalent of a Keystone Cop trotting along in a horse and buggy and being blown away by an army of passing Lamborghinis. How will he ever catch them? Factor in the problem of international prosecution and you've got yourself one heck of a virtual nut to crack.

2. Facebook is the biggest entity the online world, and possibly the entire world, has ever seen. And yet, with all the potential pitfalls of identity theft, stalking, harassment, pedophilia, credit card fraud, application hacking, counterfeiters, new browser viruses, and a litany of other potential nightmares from a now publicly-traded company, the fact that there's not a single human being you can call for assistance is simply beyond belief.

3. Tang Zhaohui just might be the modern day Freddy Krueger.

(surprisingly, no one at Facebook was available for comment.)

Excerpt From Awesome Hate Mail

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Thu, 31 May 2012 05:30:00 +0000

(love the fact he spelled 'paid' p-a-y-e-d.)

I was just treated to the typical vitriolic bile put forth by your "writer/producer/musician" (i.e. probably unemployed or someones boyfriend) David Fagin, in his article entitled "Have You No Decency Sirs (An open letter to the GOP). Without wasting my time countering the perfunctory liberal idiocy in this editorial, I find it incomprehensible that you would cho...ose to publish an amateurish diatribe such as this which, although not be taken seriously by anyone with half a brain, is still a gross insult to conservatives, who in case you haven't taken notice, are by far the dominant political affiliation of most doctors and upper level health professionals. I would assume that you wish to attract advertisers and new readers to your publication. Nothing like insulting those who you desire to spend money advertising in your newspaper. I would think that not pissing off those with whom you wish to do business would be taught on the first day of Marketing 101. Were I one of the doctors or health care organizations that payed good money to advertise in your publication, I would be infuriated that my advertisement was heralded by this kind of liberal stupidity, and would demand a refund . There is a bright side to this however, as the decline in readership will consume less paper and save a couple of trees, which I'm sure will make your liberal friend Mr. Fagin feel all warm and fuzzy.

J. Michael Digney, D.D.S.

Dear Girls Under 30: Why Must You Be So Mean?

noreply@blogger.com (David Fagin) — Tue, 15 May 2012 16:47:00 +0000

What's going on with you? I'm here. Talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you. Are you afraid to show your true selves? Do you think your peers will ostracize you if you're nice to strangers, or you show up to the club in flip-flops instead of the six-inch "One blockers" your clique are all sporting?

There I was, sitting in a bar in Hoboken. My date gets up to use the bathroom, and, not two seconds later, two other, much younger girls come over and one plops right down in her seat -- even though her pocket book was on the bar and her jacket was on the chair. So, I politely say, "Excuse me, my friend's coming back. She just went to the bathroom." I fully expected the usual "No problem. We just want a drink." Instead, to my total shock, the girl looked me dead in the eye and coldly replied -- in the nastiest, "What are you gonna do about it" tone -- "So?"

Walking through downtown Hoboken later that night, and watching the hordes of young, attention-hungry females strutting around in pants they don't fit in and shoes they can't walk in, I became despondent -- not only for the poor souls who might, one day, end up fathering a child with these misguided ladies -- but, more so, for the girls themselves; not to mention, society, in general.

Where did it all go wrong? How did the Saturday night social scene end up turning into a cosmetically altered version of The Hunger Games? I'm not just talking about the Guidos/Guidettes one might find in Hoboken. Everywhere you go these days, N.Y., L.A., Amish country, wherever, it feels like you're trapped in some B movie called Attack of the Nasty Stepford Girls. You can literally feel the rudeness and insincerity seething from their pores. And, ironically, in their quest to be the most attractive, the most popular, the most unique, and the most desirable, these personality-deficient fembots succeed only in becoming carbon copies of each other. And, not in a positive way.

Girls will always want to outcool and outshine each other, but, since when did they begin dressing so poorly and behaving so badly?

Granted, I'm 44, so, it could easily be that I've caught the "generation disease" from my folks, and, instead of waking up one day hating rock music (which I'm still terrified will happen), I woke up and realized women under 30 might as well be aliens.

I don't listen to their music, don't understand their text abbreviations, cannot even fathom why they need to display their feathers in such an obvious and unflattering way, and thus, am completely, yet blissfully, unattracted to them in every way, shape, and form. Not all of them, of course, but a large enough percentage of the demographic to prompt this letter/query.

And, why does it seem like this segment of the population is multiplying like a fungus on a piece of cheese? Again, maybe I'm too old to appreciate rudeness, catty looks, horribly bad make-up jobs, and shoes that make even the sturdiest of women look like new-born giraffes, but something is definitely wrong.

I hate to say it, but, "In my day," I simply can't remember girls, in general, being this nasty as a general rule. Twenty years ago, the worst thing a "mean girl" ever did was sleep with your boyfriend and show up at school the next day wearing his varsity jersey. Now, it seems, each night, there's at least a dozen incidents of women looking for a reason to smash glass or dump beer on each other, as if they were men, then, victoriously storm off to the diner to laugh about it. "Wha hap'n?"

From an observer's p.o.v., it definitely appears the onslaught of low-brow garbage spewed forth by every cable channel and magazine under the sun, combined with the constant Instagrams of "You're not cool unless you're drunk by a pool in South Beach!" has told most young women of today they need to carry themselves in a manner which suggests they're porn stars and their brains are fried, just like their television idols. Most women these days, even some married ones, come off as subtle as a piano dropping on your head. They leave about as much to the imagination as a Jenna Jameson marathon.

Though, it's not entirely their fault. The ever-widening gap of human interaction brought on by social media has apparently not only altered the part of our brains that affect how we relate to each other socially, but also, physically. When it comes to attracting the opposite sex, everything has to be immediate gratification. Perfectly fake boobs, perfectly coiffed hair, perfectly tanned skin, perfectly picked out dress (two sizes too small), and a pair of perfectly trendy, incredibly uncomfortable shoes. Lay one of these girls down flat and you could incur severe tire damage.

On the bright side, while it's incredibly depressing to see what a large percentage of the country's youth have been reduced to, these sadly desperate, fashion victims, who walk around pretending they're the guest of honor in their own reality shows, make it easier for those of us with even the slightest bit of class and taste to spot the good ones, as they can't help but stand out like a sore thumb in their loose-yet-cool ripped blue jeans, Yankees jersey and flip flops. Of course, they're probably mean, too, but I don't have the guts to find out.

There's already one Kim K., ladies -- and that's one too many. Make your own 'reality.'