A Writer's Journey

Being a Writer in a World of Images

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:31:00 +0000

Everything changes. That's the nature of life. Nothing stays the same forever.

I knew an encyclopedia salesman who had a very hard time changing with the times as encyclopedias went digital. His world would never be the same.

As a writer, that's how I feel sometimes about the increasing focus on images over words in communication, particularly within social media. I was at a workshop yesterday where the presenter said, "Use as few words as possible. Say it all with the images." I understood exactly what he was saying. Still, it made me sad.

Yes, I know that the brain processes images 60,000 times faster than text, and in this fast-paced world people are scanning rather than reading. A picture paints a thousand words. I get it.

But sometimes the language used to communicate the message is part of the message itself. Can the full message contained in Elizabeth Barrett Browning's sonnet How Do I Love Thee? be communicated in a series of images or an infographic? I don't think so.

There are times when I feel like that encyclopedia salesman. Words are becoming merely the captions for images. Real writing, with punctuation and vowels, that expresses complex ideas is slowly becoming a lost art.

How can we keep it from going away completely?

Handwritten Love

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 16:52:00 +0000

I made a commitment recently to write and send at least three handwritten notes a week. They can be notes of gratitude, congratulations, or positive thoughts, but they must be thoughtfully handwritten. No quick little "thanks, it was nice to see you" notes are allowed. It requires a focus on the emotion and the real intent of the note, which is to share some handwritten love with the people in my life.

Before I go any further, I need to admit something. The original plan was to write a note every day, but I just couldn't keep up with it. I decided it would be better to set a reasonable goal that I can live with than to start out with a flash and eventially quit because I "can't do it right." So, I'm writing notes at least three days a week with the hope that someday I can work up to making it a daily practice.

I started this recently, but I've already learned a few things I'd like to share:

It's not as easy as it looks. I attribute this to the fact that we are so accustomed these days to sending a quick email to communicate that we have lost touch with what it takes to spend time creatively communicating a simple thank you. Each note requires a few minutes of thought, more than I expected.
Writing it by hand matters. When a note is written by hand, it becomes more personal. Your handwriting makes it uniquely yours so both the words and the physical writing speak with your individual voice.
Handwritten notes speak loudly. In a world of impersonal digital communication, handwritten notes are rare, so they are noticed.
The process gets the writer in touch with emotions and relationships. Each thank you note focuses me on gratitude. Each note of congratulations focuses me on happiness for the person to whom I'm writing. As I write, I'm thinking about that person and the role s/he plays in my life and how important s/he is to me.

At a time when we seem to have become less connected to each other in many ways, sending some handwritten love is an easy way to strengthen the connections with those we care about.

What was the last handwritten note you wrote? When did you send it?

A Letter to My Son's New Teacher

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 16:37:00 +0000

Dear Teacher,

I'm sending the love of my life to you tomorrow morning. He's smart, inquisitive, active, energetic, creative, generous, friendly, sensitive, forgiving, and joyful. I'd like him to stay that way.

I understand that there are many children in your class and that you must have classroom procedures that sometimes amount to crowd control, but please don't let my son get lost in the crowd. A little bit of attention and praise goes a long way with him. You'll get much more productivity out of him with praise than with punishment. And when he gets excited and active and struggles to comply with some of your rules, please remember that he's not being disobedient on purpose. Your anger will crush him, so express it sparingly, if at all. While it may not seem like it at times, he wants to please you very much.

My husband and I will support you as much as we can and we will never say a negative word about you in front of our son or to other parents. Of course, we expect the same respect from you.

About homework..... I know that homework is part of the expectation for students these days. However, I also know that the research indicates clearly that there is no connection between homework and academic achievement at the elementary school level. That said, I understand the value of developing discipline and good study habits, but please don't send home a bunch of busy work for homework because you may have other students who don't have parental support at home. My son will be sitting at a desk all day; that's not what I want for him in the evenings.

Another word about homework.... Just as you have priorities for your family, my husband and I have priorities for ours. Family time and church activities trump homework every time. Don't get me wrong. Most of the time, we're able to manage it all and teaching our son how to do that is part of our job, but sometimes we just can't. Please trust me to know when a family commitment is more important than the day's homework - and don't punish my son for it.

About academic achievement.....My son's academic progress is very important to me, but I know you have 32-34 students in your class and managing learning for all of them in several different subject areas is nearly impossible. Don't worry. I'll be working with him at home. I'm not talking about homework. I'll be spending time with him every night using hands-on, fun activities to reinforce what you have covered at school.

I view my son's education as my responsibility, not yours. I will make sure he masters the academic standards for his grade level (and more). The more you communicate with me about what you're teaching, the better the support I can provide. Also, if my son is struggling with something, I can help if you let me know right away. Waiting until parent-teacher conference time to communicate is too late. If I find out at conference time that my son is struggling with something and that's the first I heard about it, I will not be a happy camper. Send an email, a text or a phone call. It doesn't have to be long, just long enough to alert me to something I need to address with him at home.

As much as I can do at home, there are lessons he can only learn at school. "Working and playing well with others," specifically with his peers, is something he needs to learn at school. Cooperating with others and functioning effectively in both large and small groups are things I can't teach him at home. Dealing with bullies without resorting to bullying himself is a lesson to be learned at school. We can talk about it at home, but it will happen (or not) on your watch.

I am aware that you have a long list of standards and district-adopted curricula to teach, so it's easy to think of the children as vessels to be filled with your knowledge (and academic standards), but that's a faulty paradigm and I think you know it. The children come with many gifts and knowledge to be shared with each other and with you. My son is a computer whiz at the age of 8. It didn't happen by accident. My husband and I know that technology will play a prominent role in his future. At home, he walks over to he computer and logs on anytime he wants. It will be difficult for him to adjust to having specific "computer time" only a couple of times a week and using paper and pencil to accomplish tasks that are much easier to complete with technology. He'll shine for you in many ways if you let him shine in his area of strength sometimes.

I hope you have a wonderful school year. Ok, my motives are purely selfish because I know that if you have a great year, it is likely that my son will, too. So, get lots of sleep and eat right. I hope you get all of the support you need to do an exemplary job. If you need my help, please let me know. I want you to succeed. I'm on your side.

Remember, I'm sending you the love of my life.

Respectfully,

Veronica Robbins

Get a Life!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 22:20:00 +0000

Get a life! I've heard that phrase shouted at people when the shouter wanted them to mind their own business. I don't think it's ever been applied to me (at least not to my face) except for when friends were casually encouraging me to stop working so much. It was always one of those phrases that was about other people.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I looked around one day and realized that I didn't have a life.

I had responsibilities. I had commitments. But when someone asked me what I did for fun, I was puzzled. What a silly question, I thought. Until I tried to answer it.

I used to try to say that I didn't have time for fun. Then I tried to say that my work was fun. It was all a cover up, though, for the fact that, indeed, I didn't have a life.

So, I took up a hobby. I started knitting again. I hadn't held knitting needles in my hands since high school. Of course, I became obsessive with my new hobby and knitted a scarf for just about everyone in my extended family for Christmas. I knitted until it wasn't as much fun anymore. Then I added crochet, and I did that until it wasn't as much fun anymore. Then it was cross stitch, and then I did a little of all three, but it still didn't feel like I had a life (as if I would know what that feels like....).

Note to self: Getting a life is not just about getting a hobby.

I thought maybe it might have something to do with getting more active socially, so I joined a few things. I decided to join Rotary. I reactivated my interest in my local Chamber of Commerce. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Wow, this woman really knows how to have fun!"

You can stop laughing at me now. It's not my fault I never learned how to do this. I was raised by a single mom who didn't have a life, either.

I decided to go to the fair with my husband. That would be fun, right? We went to the fair and walked through the exhibits, which I actually did enjoy..... for a while. A couple of hours later, the 100+ degree heat left me drenched in sweat and all the walking had my arthritic knees screaming out in pain. I must have been quite a sight - sweaty, hobbling but refusing to leave early because, "Woohoo! We're having fun!"

Note to self: Too much fun like that might just kill me. Thank God the fair comes around only once a year.

Then it came to me. Church activities. Those can serve double duty, ya know. I can get a life here on earth and also secure one for later.

I also thought it might be good to get my son into more activities and then I could volunteer to help. Hello, Cub Scouts.

I wouldn't be the first mother to live vicariously through her children. I started setting things in motion for those activities immediately.

Then something amazing happened. As the afternoon wore on last Friday, I started thinking about getting home. I had a needlepoint project for a friend to finish, and I told my son I'd read with him, and I couldn't wait to watch the Giants game with my husband. I had planned something different for dinner, and I was looking forward to trying out the new recipe. Hubby and I also needed to talk about schedules and Cub Scouts and church activities.

When closing time came, instead of saying good night to everyone as they passed my desk on their way out, I was saying good bye to them as I started shutting the office down. When I ran out the door I yelled back for the last person to lock up, and I happily skipped (yes, skipped!) to my car.

Why?

Because I have a life. It's not what I expected it would be, but it's a good one.

It used to be that the most exciting things going on in my life were work-related. That's not true anymore. My work is still challenging and interesting, but it's not the center of my life anymore.

What do you do to keep your life balanced?

Loving What You Do

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 19:16:00 +0000

I came to a realization lately. Life is just too short to spend one-third (or more!) of your time doing something that you don't love.

I know. This is probably not new to many of you, but I guess I'm slower than some. Like most people, I had been going through life doing a job that I didn't really enjoy. Why? It paid the bills. I had responsibilities. I had no back up income. What I do for a living supports my family and that's it. I don't have the luxury of taking time to "find myself" while someone else supports us.

Lots of people live their whole life like that, just putting one foot in front of the other, tolerating work that doesn't give them joy or feed their spirit because they think they have no other choice. Maybe that's true in some cases. I certainly can't speak for everyone, but it turns out that I do have choices.

I remember a time when I felt like I was making a difference and I did it for that reason. Eventually, though, even that wasn't enough.

The day came when I decided that I didn't want to live that way anymore, so I made a decision to stop doing the part of my business that I didn't enjoy. The next part was decision to focus on doing what I love, on writing things I want to write, on helping people by doing what I love.

Is it scary? Yes, absolutely. But you know what's even scarier? The thought of spending another 25 years, 60 hours a week, doing something I can't stand and living with the stress and pressure of it all.

I used to describe leaving public education and going into consulting work like letting go of the side of the pool. The water is the same, but you have to learn to swim on your own. Going into business for yourself is like getting out of the pool and swimming in the ocean. There are waves and sharks and more hazards than you can imagine, but it's still water, and it's still swimming. Making a shift in the nature of the business is like swimming in the ocean, but changing the stroke I'm using.

How long will it take me to swim as efficiently with the butterfly as I was with the breast stroke? I don't know.

Will I be able to do it? Of course I will.

It's still swimming.

--------------------------------

I'll share more about this change over the next week in coming posts.

Why Does the Shortage of ADHD Medication Matter?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 18:42:00 +0000

The shortage of drugs for ADHD (like Adderall, Ritalin, and other amphetamine stimulants) has been going on for over a year now. In some areas, people are unable to get their prescriptions filled. Parents are calling pharmacies checking for availability. Some are going to other states to get the medication if there is no availability in their area.

You can read more about the shortage here.

You may be thinking that shortages of cancer drugs are more serious. That may be so, but don't make the mistake of assuming that ADHD drugs don't save lives, because they do. Teens with untreated ADHD are in four times as many car accidents as teens with treated ADHD and teens without ADHD. Children with untreated ADHD have more injuries and more trips to the emergency room.

While I don't have any stats on it, I would also bet that rate of child abuse is higher in families with a child with untreated ADHD. I can certainly attest to the fact that a child with properly treated ADHD has a saner mom than one who hasn't taken his meds. It was a completely unscientific study, but I think my entire family would swear to its accuracy.

Schools have begun noticing the effect of the shortage, too. They are seeing more classroom disruptions, more fights on the playground, and more impulsive behavior in general.

Adults with ADHD have more car accidents and lose their jobs at a higher rate when they can't take their medication. The article I linked above includes the story of a college student whose GPA went from 3.2 to 1.9, largely due to his inability to focus without medication.

Not everyone who has ADHD controls it with medication. Some use a behavioral approach alone. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't (as you have probably gathered from previous posts you have read here). But those who need the medication because a behavioral approach alone simply doesn't work really need it to function effectively every day in the world. There are real consequences for them and those around them.

There is some disagreement about what the shortage is all about. Some say that it is the result of more adults being diagnosed with ADHD and being treated with medication. Others say that the Food & Drug Administration (FDA) has tightened up its control of the active ingredients. The FDA controls them as a strategy to prevent abuse. Still others argue that the FDA is releasing enough, but with the increase in demand, the drug companies are using their portions to make more of the costlier name brands than the generics that most insurance companies will approve - indicating that there may not really be a shortage of the medication, just a shortage of the medication accessible to most people.

Whatever the cause, it's a serious issue that needs to be addressed and resolved.

Creativity on Demand

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 16:00:00 +0000

I write grants and evaluation reports. I also write for 6 blogs. It's a lot of writing, and that isn't even counting email, twitter, Facebook, and other social media posts. There are times when I just can't write one more word. There are also times when I can write, but I couldn't come up with a creative thought to save my life.

Contrary to what most people think, creativity is not always available on demand. In fact, there is an inverse relationship between creativity and pressure. The higher the pressure, the harder it is to be creative. I think pressure and stress are the hairball clogs of our mental plumbing.

I sit at my computer with a task in front of me and all I can really do is hope that the creativity is going to be flowing. Sure, I can prepare. I can do research and develop outlines, and those things actually help, but the difference between something that is technically correct and dry and something that is inspired and original is made my that magic that I can't make happen.

So, I prepare and hope. And I write.

Sometimes there's magic. Sometimes there's not.

But the feeling created by that magic is like alcohol to an alcoholic or Vegas to a gambler.

That's why I keep writing.

What's in a Name?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 23:08:00 +0000

Have you seen Apple's new iPad? Yes, that's its name - the new iPad.

The release of the new iPad was Tim Cook's first big product release since the death of Steve Jobs. My expectations were not very high. I was not expecting the new iPad to knock our socks off, but I also didn't expect the new Apple CEO to draw such a stark and definitive line between himself and one of the world's most creative minds by picking such an uncreative name for the product. I think it's actually a non-name, but that's another post entirely.

Not only did the name of the new iPad leave us all cold, but it left Apple with no real place to go for the next version of the iPad.

Will it be the Newer iPad? The Newest?

No, either of those names would lead to sheer confusion when an even newer version came out. Come to think of it, the name of the new iPad does the same thing.

"Hey, did you get the new iPad?"

"Yeah, I got the new iPad two years ago. Is there a newer one?"

"I'm talking about the real 'new iPad,' not the old new one."

"Wait, I have the newest iPad. Is that the new one?"

Get the point?

No matter how you slice it, the name was a bad choice that would have been very easy to avoid simply by assigning it a number or a letter. It could easily have been the iPad 3 or they could have gone with the iPad 2S, but after the widespread disappointment over the iPhone 4S when everyone was expecting the iPhone 5, I wouldn't have made that choice, either.

The only thing that makes sense is that Apple is planning to make this the last of the iPad line, and that the next version will be so completely different that it won't bear the name iPad at all. If that is not the case, I fear for Apple's future because hundreds of supposedly creative minds failed to come up with a viable name.

In fact, I don't think I'll refer to Tim Cook by his given name anymore. I'll apply his same level of creativity and just call him the new CEO - not CEO v4 or anything else even remotely descriptive or original.

Come on now, new CEO. Steve would not be proud.

How Writing is Like The Godfather

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 21:19:00 +0000

I love the Godfather movies. I really do. Well, I like the first one the best, of course. Who doesn't? But all three are great. I can't tell you how many times I've watched them, but it's a lot.

I still get a lump in my throat when Appolonia dies, and I want to slap Kay myself when she tells Michael that she aborted his child. When Sonny charges out of the house in anger, I want to scream, "Don't go, Santino! You'll die!" And watching the calm, cool, and collected Michael sit in that hotel room in Vegas confronting Moe Green about how he treated Fredo....he was the perfect image of power and control. I could go on, but we'd be here all day, and it has already been established that folks don't like to read very much.

I've had the opportunity to watch the films again in the last couple of weeks because it is the 40th anniversary of the release of the original, The Godfather, so several channels have had Godfather marathons and I just can't resist a Godfather marathon. That is truly an offer I can't refuse.

As I watched Sonny die for the third time in one day recently, it occurred to me that writing has a lot in common with The Godfather. Bear with me while I connect some of the dots.

Santino is the archetype of the hot headed, "act now, think later" person. He's the sloppy writer. He's the writer who doesn't think through his work and just writes as it comes into his head. Sure, there's a time when this is ok (brainstorming for the writer; getting revenge for the shooting of his father for Santino), but it's usually not.

Sometimes, the piece that you're writing is more difficult than you expected. I experience this a lot with grant writing when I am given incomplete information or the client changes their mind (again and again and again) about the program design. In these cases, I have to use all my powers and all my skills to get to a good product. It reminds me of when Don Corleone brought his dead son to the funeral director and said, "I want you to use all your powers and all your skills" in reference to cleaning up Santino so his mother wouldn't have to see him like that.

The editing process can be brutal. I've had pieces come back from editing so butchered that I wanted to yell, just like Don Corleone did in that same scene at the mortuary, "Look how they massacred my boy!"

Just as some writers are like Sonny, others are like Fredo - timid, not very skilled, holding on to someone else's coattails and then becoming resentful later because they thought they were responsible for all the success. They just can't accept that they don't have the talent they want to have, and that eats them up on the inside. Some people just aren't made for the "family business."

The evolution of Michael is one of the most interesting comparisons to grant writing there is. As a young man, he was naive and he wanted to save the world. He honestly believed that the family business would go legit. New grant writers are naive and starry-eyed, too. They think they can change the world with their writing and, to be fair, they really can change a lot, but soon they become the Godfather Michael - slick, skilled, knowledgeable, and a bit jaded. Finally, if they stick with it long enough, they become the Michael in Godfather III - back to believing in the power of good again, using his skill and power for good, but weary of the evil in the world. In spite of that weariness, experienced grant writers keep going, still believing that they can make a real difference in the world.

And they do.

A Fish Out of Water Learning to Swim Again

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:41:00 +0000

I joined Pintrest today. You can follow me there at http://pinterest.com/veronicarobbins/. I also joined Instagram recently, and I've been on Tumblr for awhile (http://veronicarobbins.tumblr.com). What all of these rising social media sites have in common is that they focus on images. Photos. Pictures. Sure, you can blog about anything on Tumblr using text, video, photos, or whatever, but most people use photos.

I really like these sites. I love seeing the photos of others. They are inspirational and funny and instructive. And while a picture can paint a thousand words, what about the words? The concept of a blog without many words is foreign to me, even though I've been playing around with Tumblr for a while.

It makes me wonder if this shift in preference is really about the attractiveness of images or if it is just laziness? It takes some effort to read and, hopefully, constructively contribute to the conversation by responding. It doesn't take much effort to look at a photo and hit the "reblog" button or the "repin it" button. I can get a lot from photos, but there is so much they can't communicate. I want the rest.

I had a good friend once who was very quiet. He didn't talk much at all, but he took beautiful photographs, and I was fortunate that he chose to share his photographs with me. I was able to learn much from and about him from those photos, but there were many times when I wished he would have been able to verbalize what he was thinking and feeling instead of making me guess or extrapolate it from a series of clues he left for me.

When I was discussing this new societal image-lust with someone, he made the point that life is all about images.I disagree. We have more than the sense of vision. We take in information from the world through hearing, touch, taste, and smell, too. Many believe that intuition is the "sixth sense" that we use to make meaning of things around us.

Language and images are related, of course. A well written book or story paints a mental picture for the reader. It's a direct connection of the minds that happens through words. Sometimes it falls short of ideal communication, but does that mean we should quit trying and move toward nothing but images?

I know, I know. There is a middle ground here, as there usually is. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. But here I am looking at a whole new world of photo blogging and image sharing and I feel like a fish out of water. I want to say, "Can't I just write what I'm seeing or thinking or feeling?" Of course I can, but as fewer and fewer people read, there will be fewer and fewer people to receive my communication in that form. Journaling is a good thing, but writing is limited unless there's someone to read it.

So, I'm learning how to swim again - with images in addition to words.

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Read more A Writer's Journey.

Inspiration for Writing

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 00:26:00 +0000

This simple little video shares many quotes on writing (by writers).

More than a few of these have given me the inspiration I need to keep writing when it just wasn't fun anymore. They remind me that writers make a difference.

Enjoy!

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Follow me on Twitter: @grantgoddess and @veronicarobbins

Read more of A Writer's Journey!

Resolution Rebellion

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 19:54:00 +0000

It's January 2, 2012. My first day at work for the new year. My editorial calendar says I should be writing a post entitled "Writing Resolutions," but you know what? I can't stand the thought of writing one more post, email, article, or web page about resolutions and goal setting.

Seriously. The thought is not appealing at all, not because I don't think resolutions and goals are helpful (goals are critical to help you move forward efficiently in the direction you want to go), but I've grown weary of the annual resolution dance. It's a five step dance. Maybe you know it.

Here's how it goes:

Step 1: I select the resolution.
Step 2: I proclaim it.
Step 3: I start taking action without really thinking it through.
Step 4: I quit.
Step 5: I set the same resolution again...and again...and again.

What's wrong with this picture?

I definitely do better with goals and action plans than resolutions.

Here's the truth: For the big areas in my life that need change, I know what to do. I know exactly what to do. I just need to do it. A decision is the first step, but that's the easiest part. I need a resolution about the follow-through. I need to beef up Step 3 so I can eliminate Steps 4 and 5 (My apologies to those of you in the 12 step world for hijacking the "step" model, but hmmm....how would beefing up step 3 impact 4 and 5? That is an interesting question, isn't it?).

So, I'm in rebellion today. I'm taking a break from resolutions and the whole dance....for now.

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Read more A Writer's Journey

The Funnier Side of ADHD

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 19:58:00 +0000

I was browsing through YouTube while I was supposed to be working and I found some cute and funny videos about ADHD. Enjoy!

How Do I Know Which List I'm On?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:23:00 +0000

Like most kids (regardless of age), I definitely want to be on Santa's "Nice" list. Since I was a little girl, I've been told that the kids on the nice list get the good presents and the kids on the naughty list get coal, ashes, or nothing.

I know this is true because there was a year when my older brother was on the naughty list and he only got ashes in his stocking and a note from Santa telling him he was on the naughty list. That's what happens when you get up in the middle of the night before Christmas and unwrap all of the presents that your mommy just stayed up late wrapping.

So sometimes it's easy to know which list you're on. But what if you're not sure?

Ok, I did some things that might place me on the naughty list this year. I can admit that, but most of them were not on purpose and I was really, really sorry....and I only did some of them over and over again.

But I did lots of good things this year, too! Don't they cancel out the naughty things? Does Santa keep a tally of good vs naughty or does he just look at the overall picture of the year and make a judgement?

And if you're placed on the naughty list, is there any chance for a last minute reprieve? Can I call the governor or someone and plead my case?

Maybe that's why a lot of people are nicer at Christmas time (except the people at the malls) - they are trying to make up for a lot of naughtiness earlier in the year.

I've got 8 days to solidify my place on the nice list. I think I'll start by thanking all of you for reading and supporting me over the year.

Thank you!

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Read more A Writer's Journey.

Discipline

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 23:03:00 +0000

I met with my staff this morning to go over all of our projects and all of the things we need to get done, particularly over the next few weeks. As you could probably guess, it's one of those impossible lists - the kind that cannot possibly be completed, so you have to prioritize, be disciplined, and do your best. I have two out of those three requirements locked, but the third one....uh....not so much.

I can prioritize. I can do my best. Discipline is difficult for me. My mind wanders from task to task, each one important, and I tend to lose focus that way. Or my attention is drawn away by something fun and wonderful that pops up during the holiday season.

It's not that I have no discipline. I can hunker down and focus for long periods of time when I'm up against a deadline. It's just that when there's no immediately deadline, it feels like I have all the time in the world, and ....whoops! Quicksand.

So, here I am today, organizing my organizational tools (editorial calendars, project tracking software, etc.) for the millionth time, hoping that a little Christmas magic will blow my way this time so I can develop and keep the discipline I need to get everything done.

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Read more A Writer's Journey.

Try The Grant Goddess Speaks.....

Motivation and Balance

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 23:08:00 +0000

Sometimes my life seems to be a dance between motivation and balance. When I have one, I don't have the other, and vice versa.

My challenge with balance seems to be making the time for life away from work - time with family and friends, time for myself. To paraphrase the proverb - All work and no play makes Veronica a very dull girl.... and a lousy mother, a poor wife, and an absent friend. So I devise plans to spend more time with the people I love doing the things I enjoy, but when I actually start doing that, I seem to fall out of the groove with work, particularly with writing.

I start to enjoy life more and then I don't have the discipline it takes to write. When it comes time to do it, I just don't want to. My motivation is gone. Most writers will tell you that some level of discipline is critical for writing, so having none is troubling. I have some tools at my disposal and tricks I play on myself to get motivated again, and at some point - WHAM! - motivation hits and I'm a writing machine.

When this happens, I feel great! All I want to do is write and create, which means that I start doing it more, working longer hours, neglecting some of my favorite activities, not calling friends. Soon, I'm seeing my family less, and it becomes clear to me that I'm out of balance again. I got motivation back, but I lost balance.

I scramble to develop a plan to rectify the situation, and I force myself to step away from the computer even though I don't want to. I go places with my family. I call my friends again. And soon I'm right back where I was, with a lack of motivation to write.

It's very frustrating for me. I wonder why can't I keep both? Why can't I achieve a real balance in my life where I enjoy and devote time to my personal life, but still have enough time and motivation for work?

As you may have figured out, this is one of the perennial issues in my life. It's not new. I seem to keep living and reliving it. It's a merry-go-round I can't get off.

Several years ago a friend sat me down and explained to me that the vacillation between work and home in my life was completely natural. She told me to picture a real balance and observe how the trays move up and down based on the addition or subtraction of weight from either side. The only time the balance is perfectly still is when nothing is moving, and that is a temporary state.

To extend this metaphor to my life, if one tray is my work life and the other tray is my personal life, if I achieve a state of perfect balance, it means that nothing is really happening or changing with either. Neither is getting better - or worse. Nothing new is being added - no new adventures or friends or creative ideas. Nothing is being taken away - old ideas, outdated schedules, things that no longer interest me.

The quest to maintain perfect balance at all times is not only an impossible quest, but it contradicts the reality and theme of life - change.

While I never want either side of my life to be totally neglected, contentment is found in learning to be comfortable with the gentle dips and quivers of the balance. It's about learning to be comfortable with change.

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The God Box

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:55:00 +0000

As were driving home from church last Sunday, my son was explaining what they did in Children's Church. Apparently, they were asked to write their problems on a sheet of paper and then put them in a box in the middle of the room. Then they would turn all of those problems over to God and ask him to help them.

"What did you write on your paper?" I asked.

"Nothing," he replied.

That surprised me. "Nothing? Why didn't you write anything?"

"Well," he said, "I really don't have any problems."

That's how a seven year old should feel, I believe - happy, and secure, and living in a world that is full of possibilities and no problems.

I looked over at my husband and smiled.

In a world where so many children are troubled, afraid, hungry and abused, or little boy knows that he has no problems.

That's something else to add to my gratitude list.

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Writing Another Book

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 20:24:00 +0000

I have another book in the works. I remember how excited I was when I started writing my first book, 101 Tips for Aspiring Grant Writers. I had something to say that could help people and I was anxious to get it on paper. I learned, though, that writing the first draft was the easy part. The editing process was tedious and time consuming. In fact, I wanted to be done with it a couple of months before I was actually done.

So, when I started writing the new book, my excitement was tempered by some reality. Do I really want to jump into a lengthy process....again? Is my topic compelling enough for me that I'll be able to persevere through the boring parts of the process? Am I ready to commit to do my best on this project from the first word I write through marketing and sales?

If the answer to all these questions isn't "yes," then I shouldn't start.

After some reflection, I decided that it's time to take on this project. In fact, it's a really good time to take on a project like this.

So I'm writing another book.

A Cape or a Veil?

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 14:32:00 +0000

I was driving by a preschool on my way to an appointment earlier this week and I noticed something that caught my attention. The children were playing outside and each had a piece of cloth that looked like it was about 3'x3'. At first glance, it looked like the kids were just running around with their cloth, but then I noticed something interesting. A little boy had two of the corners of his cloth tied together and he was wearing his cloth as a cape.

That made me smile. I have two boys myself and I've seen them make capes out of blankets and pillowcases and anything else that would work.

Then I noticed a few other little boys with capes.

Then I saw some little girls who were wearing their cloths not as capes, but as veils. The broader view showed a play yard filled with superheros and princesses.

I'm sure that no one told the boys to be superheroes and told the girls to be princesses on that day, but they chose those roles nonetheless, indicating that gender stereotypes start finding their way into our brains at a very young age.

I wondered, do any of those little girls understand that they could be superheroes, too?

But would any of those little boys be a princess?

One of the benefits I have as a woman is that I can be either a superhero or a princess, and I play both roles at different times. Unfortunately, boys and men don't have the same advantage. If any of those boys had made his cape into a veil, I'm sure the other boys would have put him in his place. If that didn't work, the girls would take care of it by "preferring" to play with a superhero.

The truth is that men and boys are still bound by traditional stereotypes of maleness. Sure, we all know that it's ok for men to cry now (well, sometimes), and some men (like my husband) have even taken on the homemaker role while their wives work outside the home. But doing that is not easy for men. They face a social consequence that follows them around and dictates who will be in their peer group and how they and their family are viewed in the neighborhood. I can't tell you how many times over the past 20 years someone has said that my husband should get a job, even as his own wife was at home caring for their children.

My oldest son took dance lessons for years because he loved dance. He was the only male in his classes and the only male at the recitals. He continued until he was 13. At that point he quit because he just couldn't take the social pressure. He chose to fit in among the boys rather than to continue with an activity he loved (although his dance experience actually came in very handy when he played football later). My husband and I were very sad when he quit, but we understood. Many adults can't handle the social pressure they get from stepping out of traditional gender roles. How could we possibly expect an adolescent to do it?

I'm grateful for the freedom that I have to choose to be either a superhero or a princess, but I want my boys to have the same freedom.

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Words with Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:22:00 +0000

It started casually one day when a friend of mine was talking to me and then his phone beeped. It wasn't a call or a text message, but a notification from Words with Friends telling him that one of his friends had played a word and now it was his turn.

"What's Words with Friends?" I naively asked.

He explained that it is an online game played by folks with iPhones and Android phones. It's pretty much Scrabble. You can play against a friend you know or you can let the game pick a random opponent for you.

Hmm, I thought. This could be interesting.

I downloaded the app to my iphone and he was my first opponent. It was easy to figure out and fun.

I linked to my Facebook contacts and started playing with a couple of my Facebook friends.

I tried playing against a few random opponents.

Then I went to a family reunion and discovered that several of my cousins also played. Great!

Finally, I got my husband to play.

Now I have 11 games going at once, down from a high of 20 games at once. Yes, I still have a life, but Words is slowly taking it over.

One of the features I like best is that you can chat with your opponent as you play. The interface is something like a text message format, but it functions within the app, so you can share scintillating thoughts such as, "Wow! Great word!" and "Gobo? Really?" I particularly like using the chat feature for a little intellectual trash talking and intimidation - "Are you ready to give up yet? You can click that 'resign' button at any time and end your suffering." Or you can start chatting up a new friend that you met through selecting a random opponent, just to distract them (this is really fun with Chess with Friends...LOL).

There is an unofficial fan site that has news, word lists, a score calculator, and a link to the Words with Friends Facebook wall. You can even track your own Words statistics, and sign up for tournament notifications.

As you might expect, there are also apps and websites to help you cheat. You just enter the letters that you have and the app spits out all of the possible words. You can then enter tile positions, spaces, and linking letters to come up with even more options. Wow. But you would never cheat, would you?

So, why am I writing about this? Because writing is about words, silly.

If you are a Words with Friends player, look me up and start a game with me. I'm veronicarobbins on Words.

Then, if you really like to play, you can look me up on Hanging with Friends (a version of hangman) and Chess with Friends.

****************

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Slowing Down

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 15:00:00 +0000

"Stop and smell the roses." That's the phrase that comes to mind when I think about people moving so fast that they don't take the time to enjoy life. It's usually used figuratively when people are so busy that they are rushing through life and not enjoying all the wonderful people and experiences in front of them. Sometimes, though, it takes on a literal meaning.

That's how it is for me right now. I've been going a mile a minute, rushing to get work done and troubleshooting problems so fast that the days, weeks, and months are just flying by. It's really easy to do, especially when the writing projects in front of me are piling up and I need to move quickly from one to the other.

Then something happened. Somehow (I still don't know exactly what I did), I injured my knee. Getting from place to place (even from room to room in my own house) is a challenge. I can't just hurry around, not noticing what's around me; I'm moving very slowly, assisted by my trusty cane, and I'm noticing everything. Every piece of furniture is a potential obstacle. The two steps on my front porch seem like Mt. Shasta. Decisions about where to go are made based on how difficult it will be to get there, not the purpose for going.

But it's not all bad. I've rediscovered family photographs and knickknacks that I had forgotten were there. Moving more slowly gives me a chance to enjoy them all over again. The longer time it takes me to walk down the hallway at home gives me more time to chat with my 7 year old, who seems to like the extra time with me as he follows me around the house at my new leisurely pace.

I didn't choose this slowdown, but I'm learning to appreciate it as best I can. Not only am I smelling a few roses, but I'm rediscovering roses that I had forgotten were there.

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Overwhelmed....But It's Still a Wonderful World

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 15:44:00 +0000

I'll admit it. I'm completely overwhelmed. I have a huge workload right now and I have been distracted by everything you can imagine, from family issues to finances. From underneath the mountain of obligations, frustrations, and challenges, it's easy to forget what a wonderful life I have and what an amazing world this is. So, here's a little reminder from Louis Armstrong himself.

Read more A Writer's Journey.

Check out The Grant Goddess Speaks.

Related Posts:
"Plant Your Own Garden and Decorate Your Own Soul"

Isn't writing supposed to be fun?

Pressure and Creativity

The Other Side of Father's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 18:04:00 +0000

We celebrated Father's Day in our home like most years. I made breakfast, my youngest and I had cards and gifts for my husband. There wasn't much partying, but it was nice. It was very low key, like my husband likes. Actually, I should say low key, like my husband.

My husband isn't my father, but I certainly appreciate him and believe that his contribution to our family is worth celebrating. I also think it's important that I set an example of that for my sons.

I still feel a little emptiness,though, when it comes to Father's Day.

My father has passed away, but even before he passed away, he was not part of my life. He left my mother before I was born and I can count on one hand the number of times I saw him over my lifetime.

When I was growing up, Father's Day was awkward because there was usually a stepfather around and my brothers and I were supposed to act like he was our father. But he wasn't. None of them were.

After my father passed away, Father's Day became more of a day of grief - not grief about his death. I never really knew the man. How do you grieve for someone you never knew? It was grief for the loss of the idea of him, grief for the loss of the hope that one day we might actually get to know each other. It was grief for the relationship that never was and never would be.

The lack of importance attributed to fathers in our society troubles me greatly. They play a critical role in each family and in the emotional development of children. They teach lessons that really can't be learned in any other way. I have no issue with single moms. In fact, I think most single mothers do the best job they can under incredibly difficult circumstances, and many do an amazing job raising happy, loving, and competent children, but they can't replace a father no matter how hard they try.

It's easy to see the negative impact of a bad parent, but the effect of a missing parent can be just as destructive and devastating. My life is peppered with the emotional holes left by my father's absence. Most are small and insignificant when taken individually, but when viewed in the aggregate they are are more noticeable. Since he died, every Father's Day has a been a reminder that there is no longer a chance that he will help me fill those gaps.

A couple of years ago, I decided that I wanted to change what Father's Day meant to me. I didn't share this with anyone. It was just something that I did for me. Instead of thinking about my father or grieving the relationship we never had, I chose to use the day to quietly reflect on the men in my life who have helped me to fill in those gaps left by my father, and there are many of them. They include relatives, friends, pastors, teachers, colleagues, and even some people whose names I never knew. Soon, the gratitude and positive emotion started overflowing and pushing out all the regret, grief, and sadness.

That first Father's Day spent this way inspired me to seek out some of those men and thank them. Now, that is how I choose to privately spend Father's Day every year - in reflection and gratitude.

As I think about it, I remember that it was my mother who taught me that I could change the meaning of any day or holiday anytime I'd like. Once again, even after her death, Mom's lessons keep helping me live my life.

All I can feel about that is more gratitude.

OCD and ADD Face Off

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:35:00 +0000

I'm sure you have all heard about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Everybody likes to laugh at characters like Monk who struggle to deal with everyday life with OCD. You have probably also heard of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). I still use the old name for it - ADD - because anyone who knows me would just laugh hysterically at the hyperactivity part. I deal with the inattentive variety. Anyway, I live my life dealing with these little issues in a completely unmedicated state (Duh! Isn't that so painfully obvious?).

People are starting to understand OCD, and they are also starting to really get a handle on ADD, but they have no idea about the craziness that ensues when the two face off.

Let me illustrate an example for you:

As you know, I love to read. I read a lot. I read books, newspapers (all online now), magazines, blogs.....just about anything that interests me that I can get my hands on.

For a long time, I had my blogs all neatly organized within a generic reader. Then I discovered Google Reader (which I love!) so I moved all my blog subscriptions there. I have about 250 blogs (give or take) that I monitor. I used to spend an hour or two every night scanning them through Google Reader, giving more attention to the posts that really interested me, and skipping by the ones that didn't. It was great. Some people relax with a cocktail in the evening. I read blogs.

Then I started to notice that I was reading some more regularly than others, and I didn't want to wait until the end of the day to read them. However, if I even opened Google Reader during the day at work, I'd get lost in the reading, unable to stop (Hello, OCD!), and my productivity at work would decline dramatically. What to do? What to do?

I had the bright idea that I would subscribe by email to my favorites. Then I would get an email notification whenever a new post went up for any of those and I could take a few minutes during my day just to read those. I started with about 10 of my favorites. Then it was 15. Then 20. Yes, my "little touch of OCD" took over and I couldn't stop doing the email subscriptions. I liked them all, you see.

Now, my email inbox is overwhelmed with these blog posts. They keep coming. Like locusts. They won't stop. I tried to unsubscribe to some, but it didn't help. And I would re-subscribe to some soon after unsubscribing. Indecisive? Me?

So, I face an inbox overflowing with blog posts, junk mail (spam filter? right...sheesh), Facebook notices (that's a story for another day), and real work-related email.

Here's where my ADD kicks in. I stare at the list of 2,970 unread messages in my inbox and I am overwhelmed. I can't focus on any of them, at least not for long. I try to organize them into folders (Hahahahahah).

My OCD says, "For gosh sake! Delete as many as you can! You can't live with all those rows of bolded, unread subject lines in your inbox! You won't be able to focus until every single one is handled."

ADD responds, "Ok, let's start....deleted 10, read 5, filed 6 more.....Oh, look at that hummingbird outside my window! I need some coffee. I'd better get that contract written. Did I take my vitamins this morning? Why am I staring at my email inbox?"

OCD jumps in, "While you're at it, clean up this office! I can't stand it!"

ADD replies, "Sure. No problem. Where do I start? I should call Client ABC first, though. Oh yeah! I really need to get that report written. That takes precedence over everything..."

Meanwhile, the unread email count is now 3,052. The blog locusts just keep coming.....

It's amazing I get anything done, isn't it?

There Is No Summer

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 17:23:00 +0000

I work with a lot of schools, and this is the time of year when I start to hear things like, "What are your plans for the summer?" and "Only one more week until summer vacation," and "I'll bet you're looking forward to summer, aren't you?" I always smile sweetly and do my best to share their enthusiasm about the upcoming summer months.

However, the truth is that, for me, there is no summer.

Well, the season rolls around and the weather gets warmer. My family schedule changes because my little one is not in school for a couple of months. My tomato plants start to yield the best tasting garden tomatoes in the entire world. But in terms of my work life, there is no summer.

I will continue to get up every morning and go into my office, sit at my desk and write. There will still be data to analyze and reports to write and, this year, we are sure to have several large grants to write over the summer as well.

I might actually leave early or even play hookie a few days here and there to go see the Giants play. I'll probably see a few more movies than normal. That's about it.

I can still remember my glorious teaching days when I had a two and half month break during the summer. Ahhh, those were the days. Even as a school administrator, I had 3-4 weeks of vacation every summer and it was fantastic! I, too, made the casual assumption that everyone else was just as fortunate as I was. Sometimes I'd wonder why people would scowl at me when I'd say in my particularly perky tone, "It's almost summer!"

Now I know why.

For many people, there is no summer.

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