Along the road....

I Believe..

2013-05-23T15:07:00.000+05:30

Here we are,
Sandwiched in the middle of chaos,
Shuttling between everyday chores,
Enjoying the gains, ignoring and avoiding the loss.

Life is but a vicious cycle,
We all know that even with our eyes close,
We continue to tread along,
With neither any zeal nor the will to compose.

Our kingdom of heaven is but us,
We all forget to realize that very fact,
Love makes our lives stronger,
It just depends on how we act.

I believe we can write our own path,
I believe we will achieve victory,
In the end, it is all about absolute happiness,
And the will to rewrite history.

Here's to us, fellow human race,
To finding salvation,
With all the humbleness and grace,
Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose,
But I believe,
We will become trailblazers, only if we choose.

Dedicated to my mentor - Dr. Daisaku Ikeda.

Life of Toothy Jr.

2013-05-10T11:34:00.001+05:30

We are a family of 30. My father’s name is Roots Toothy. My mother’s name is Gums Toothy. While growing up we are trained to do our job, which essentially, was to break stuff with the help of my brothers and sisters. After a certain age, we undergo puberty and turn into adults. My mother holds us together so that we don’t come in each other's way and in that way we have our own place to be. My father has taught us to be grounded white people.

We live in a house in a place called Mouthsville, which is a town north of the country, Humanland. Yea, we live in a live world which breathes and by default gives us the job to do what we are trained to do.

Here’s the thing though, we have no control over our own health. The country decides how healthy we are by maintaining the cleanliness and giving us the right kind of food. So, essentially, we have no right to our own destiny, but for working a few hours a day and getting food to eat. Fun fact – we never sleep, which isn’t bad per say, but you’ve got to understand how vulnerable we are. If we don’t get the right kind of supplements to feed ourselves and we continue to work, we fall sick.

One day, my mother started having pain. It dint end there though. In the later stage, she started bleeding. We dint know who to approach as the country takes care of us and our health needs. In the process of her falling sick, I realized that I, too, was falling sick and I started getting weaker. I kept getting pain and I could do nothing about it. My father tried holding me but as my mum got worse, I got worse. But by the time the country decided to help, it got too late. I couldn’t hold on to my father anymore. I fell. We, the Toohies, and many other families undergo the same problem. If our mother falls sick or our father falls sick, we fall; and it is all because of the lack of help from Humanland.

If only Humanland could have done something sooner. If only they had kept our hygiene proper, I wouldn’t have been here today, talking to you.

Moral of the story: Take care of your teeth because you only have the luxury of re-growing them once in a lifetime.

http://www.myhealthyspeak.co.in/

Why should boys have all the fun...

2013-04-19T17:04:00.000+05:30

Fact: Men are dogs.

I don’t mean to offend anyone because I am a man. But I say this for a very valid reason and as you read ahead you’ll know exactly why.

I will now give you a situation.

A guy is standing on the road, waiting for the bus or friend or anything else. Suddenly, a very hot girl with skimpy clad clothes or completely clothed walks by. Now imagine the scene in the filmy mode, where the wind is blowing at the exact perfect situation, and all the best fragrances in the world come together in that one instant. Too good to be true eh?

My whole purpose of making this situation up is to ask you just one question: What will the guy do? Not too tricky a question I suppose. Now do you understand where I’m getting at?

I was in the bus, going back home from work in the evening and this is what I see; A boy standing with his bike, a girl passing by, the boy gawking at her till she passes by and him continuing to stare. Seeing that moment, I just couldn’t help but smile and ponder this: This moment, when a guy sees the girl, is the only time in the world when the guy will actually put all his senses and concentration together to focus on just one thing.

Funny how all our brains work. It just thinks in one way only. Of course, work is important, games are important, meeting friends are important, but we still find ourselves distracted, thinking about a lot of other things more often than not. But when a girl is present, and she’s hot, the one and only point of focus would be to somehow get her attention. At that time, no phone calls, no friends, no games (except when she’s watching the game and you have to get her attention by showing off) matter. It isn’t a bad thing per say, but men are dogs in the end, aren’t they? *tongue smiley*

Cheers to being a man!

p.s. I spoke to a friend of mine and she says that even some girls do this ending the statement with one line and I quote, “why should boys have all the fun.” *wink*

Reality Check

2013-04-15T16:34:00.001+05:30

Even though the job that I currently have is very exciting, there are a few things I need to get right.

Here are my reality checks:

1. This is NOT college.

2. The presentation that you give must sell what you are making and it shouldn't be educational or informative like college days.

3. Your environment will remain fun as long as you are on your toes working your ass off, not to mention pleasing your boss and taking all the shit he gives; Why? That's your profile!

4. If you do end up finding yourself feeling low and degraded, there is no one who's going to come up to you and make things alright for you; its your call.

5. In the end, we all work to make money, might as well do what makes us happy and make it like that.

These may sound obvious to anyone, like it's a given. But only after it is shown to us that it becomes that obvious, no?

Cheers to learning something 'new'.

p.s. Its been a while that I've written anything for that matter. As Master Yoda would say, "A long time coming, it has been." Will write more often.

The Dawn of a new era..

2012-12-31T18:30:00.001+05:30

The year 2012 is on the verge of passing by. The countdown has already begun.

Many highs happened. Many more lows. Love found, love lost. But one thing is for certain. We all grew, for better or for worse.

It is difficult to comprehend the feeling of nostalgia that one has when we actually take the time to sit for a moment and think back the one year that passed.

We all wish we had done things differently, how, just maybe, things would have turned out so much more different than it is today. How we all wish that we could tweak some things just so that we can be happy. It is a rude awakening when we realize that we can’t really take time for granted nor can we control it for our own convenience.

There is a saying that I personally love and that I have also posted as my facebook status: “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why we call it present.”

With that in mind, all we need to do is look at ourselves in the mirror and tweak the things that would start a process for yourself and in turn will affect your surroundings to make a better and happier environment. All that we can do now is let go of whatever happened in the past, walk into the new year with a new feeling of love, of being wanted, of cherishing every moment that passes by. Learn to forgive, because it gives peace to your heart more than anything in the world. We all have one life in the end, don’t we?

We all need to take a stand for ourselves, for the right thing to do, for the perfect ending we all want. Chances are all we have, chances are all we need. Snatch them and make the most of them.

Tomorrow is the dawn of a new year. Don’t let it go by like just another day. Nothing will change. Make a difference. Be the difference. The dawn will then truly be yours.

Smile...

2012-08-15T03:36:00.001+05:30

He was standing at the bus stop, fuming about the fight he had had with his colleague. He wanted to just scream his lungs out because that's how infuriated he was. He just wanted to get home as soon as possible, to change his environment just a little bit in order to distract his mind from the stupidity, more than just being at ease. That's when he saw her. She was standing at the same bus stop, waiting for the same bus he was going in(he hoped). He had never seen her before, but just the sight of seeing her made her forget why he was mad in the first place. She wore an elegant black kurta and wore a geeky pair of spectacles in front of her beautiful eyes. Her eyes were mesmerizing. He dint want to get his eyes off her. She stared back at him, a couple of times, with curiosity and in those moments of gazing, they were intense. He was a stranger to her. She was a stranger to him. The bus finally came and they got in(thankfully). He went and sat in front of her, facing her.

When the bus left, he switched on his ipod, listening to his favourite songs, swaying, while tapping his foot. There were times he secretly glanced at her, hoping she wouldn't look back, and yet, she did, even if for a brief, yet, intriguing glimpse. She would then get back to texting while he got back to looking into the oblivion and humming the song he was listening to. The one thing he realized during the journey back home was that he just couldn't quit looking at her eyes. It felt like his eyes were glued no matter how hard he tried to tear them away. It felt like that was one thing that could grip him throughout the day, all night long. He dint know her. She dint know him. And yet, he wanted to tell her how beautiful her eyes were.

He was nearing his destination. He dint have much time. He had to summon the little guts he had, just to tell her, but they were lost somewhere inside, where he just couldn't find them.
He observed the one change she had in her expression while she was on the phone. She was upset. She was angry about something that happened during the conversation. He thought to himself, "Damn! if you tell her now, she might just slap you, making it a very very awkward situation not to mention an embarrassing one." She was a stranger to him. He was a stranger to her. And yet, he just couldn't stop looking at her.

Just then this one moment presented itself. She dropped her ticket in anger. He told himself, "Its now or never." He tapped her knee and picked up the ticket and showed it to her. She took it out of his hand and just slammed it on the side of the bus, smiling, thankfully. He then wrote a text on his phone. He wrote, 'you should avoid wearing the glasses. they hide your pretty eyes.' He summed up all the courage he had and he tapped her knee again. She looked at him inquisitively. He pointed at his phone and showed her the screen. She looked at it, read it, and blushed, covering the radiant smile. He looked down, blushing himself, and smiled in acknowledgement. After a while, after finding peace with himself, he got a tap on his knee this time. She pointed her finger to her phone and asked him to read something she had written for him. She wrote, 'I usually don't wear glasses everyday, its just that today I did. thank you. :)'

She was a stranger to him. He was a stranger to her. This was their story. This was their moment, to smile...

p.s. This is a fictional post.

Dear you...

2012-07-31T23:28:00.000+05:30

Dear You,

I know I haven't written to you in a long, long time. It is my fault because I did not know what words to pen down, to write to you, to someone every beautiful word falls short. I am sorry because I know how much you waited for me to write to you and I know you must be so tired and disappointed with me, so much so that it hurts just imagining it.

But, I am not writing this to you to make you cry. I am not writing this to make you feel horrible about yourself. I am writing this to you to tell you how much I have missed you, how much I have loved you, how much I have wanted to be with you, but I couldn't.

Remember the times we walked in the fields? Through the meadows were the most memorable moments we spent together. Remember our first kiss that day? I live everyday remembering that. I miss holding your hands my love, I miss smelling your hair, I miss lying down next to you, just looking at you.

Everything here is just monotonous. If I had the chance of swapping places, I would, know that.

But, I cannot be this selfish. I cannot make you suffer the way you do. I will, therefore, set you free to chase your own dreams, live your life, get married, have kids, grow old, because if you do, you'd make a dying man's wish come true.

Be happy my beloved. Fall in love, smile in the rains, sit in front of the warm fire with that someone.

But remember this: No one will ever love you the way I do. I will always love you, starting now, till forever. I will watch over you, be your guiding light, be your angel, if you will.

I will, forever love you and if not this time, we will be with each other for the next eternities.

Forgive me.

Yours,

Only yours,

Faithfully,

Me.

p.s. I love you..

(This is a fictional post)

Leaving on a jet plane...

2012-06-13T15:47:00.001+05:30

Here I am, standing just a few steps away from completing my graduation.
Here I am, standing just a couple of official days away from going back home.

Reminds me of this song, leaving on a jet plane, which is apt here when I sit down and ponder over it.

My bags would be tagging along with me to go back, yearning to see the land we all call home.

There is an eerie feeling here. Four years in this pot hole called college and then after all the independence, internals, exams, copying, bunking, we walk ahead, with the burden of expectations from our peers, parents, teachers, hoping that, one day, we all would become worthy citizens of our motherland.

Our night-outs during our exams, drinking a hot cup of chai only to stay awake, taking a walk on the terrace in the middle of the misty night, just to take a break, annoying our batch mates about how much is left when our paper would be the very next day, everything would be missed.

Our so-called friend circle, jealousy, crushes, partying, fests, all a source of wasting of time, especially since we come from a far away land, and yet an integral part of our lives, which will never come back.

Our juniors, looking at us in a scary way, hoping we wouldn’t rag them, looking up to us, hoping we would show them the right path, some key notes to sail through storms, tactics to tackle certain teachers, would all be missed. It’s funny, because when I think about it, we were once them.

Now, I am packing my bags, seeing what to take back home, what not to, looking outside the window, I know I won’t get to see this ground, these friends, our hostel cook(even him).

I smile, look at my bags, and yet, I feel sad, a mind clouded with emotions that I thought would never happen to me. I wipe my tears, sitting alone in my room, bow my head down in gratitude, pick up the bags and leave, looking towards a scary, bright and yet, uncertain future, waiting to be unfolded.

The myriad shades of yellow...

2012-05-05T14:02:00.000+05:30

Here I am, on the brink of become a man(according to the old world).

Here I am, looking into a new horizon through these muddy sands,

Here I am, looking for a new sun, to catch.

Two months to go. It has never been so hectic in my entire five years of engineering(including the one where I lost and found myself).

Here I thought, entering into the final year, "Man, this is going to be a piece of cake!" Little did I know, what kind of a cake was I going to get.

Amidst all the chaos, I reach the place where I look forward to coming to the most, even if I hate everything else about it, the hostel, where I have spent four years of my life, living out 10 months out of the stipulated 12 each year.

Yes, I do admit to being a co-conspirator in criticizing the various aspects of my hostel, food, water, among few other things, but never did I feel lonely in a place that calls itself, "a home away from home.."

From the eating food together in the mess, the playing on the ground, the fight to win, to the love among the members(even if not visible) will always be an integral part of the hostel.

The most important thing about this place is the people you meet, whom, you may or may not be in touch with apart from the social networking sites. But, what we do take with us, is the friendship and the respect of a lifetime.

With the days now numbered in my room where I spent a lot of my time, I will miss being a senior, I will miss taking up food to my room just so that I could watch a movie side-by-side, I will miss being one of the sources for movies, and most of all, I will miss being a friend, a brother and a co-conspirator.

After this, there will be no more hostel strikes, no more argument over food, over drinking water and all the other facilities.

What will be left after me is nothing but the myriad shades of yellow...

Cry.

2012-03-25T21:55:00.001+05:30

“Men usually don’t cry. But when I saw that man cry today, I realized what I had done to make him like that and I felt miserable seeing him like that.” – Anonymous.

He knew he had done the gravest mistakes. He knew that he couldn’t undo it, even if he wished he could. He knew there was no turning back the time, but how he wished she would see him for what he is, and not what he was. How he wished she could at least try and notice how much he wants her, how much he needs her. How he wished...

She knew he had broken her heart. She believed that once broken, the heart could never be repaired. Every moment she spoke to him, she realized that she could not erase the memories of what he had done. She knew how much she loved him, she knew how much he loved her, and yet, she wished he hadn’t done any of the things that got them to where they were today. How she wished that they would be happy again, as they used to be. How she wished...

He wept every time he thought about what he had done. He cursed himself, telling himself how he wished he died before committing such an abhorrent crime. At least that way, she would have been able to live with the fact that he had done nothing wrong.

She wanted to be with him for the rest of his life, and she knew he wanted it too. He had once told her, “If there is anyone I want to come back home to, it’s you.” She wanted to forgive him so badly, but every time she did, he had made a new mistake. And now, she just did not have it in her to give him anything, let alone forgiving him, even if she knew it would be the last time he ever made a mistake.

He had always been told by her, “I don’t care what others do, I care about what you do in return.” He never wanted to hurt her. She was his pride, his luck, his everything perfect. He loved her and still, and still he made her cry.

He swore by his life that no matter what, he would bring back happiness in her life, bring that smile back, bring that laughter back, bring her back, even if it was that last thing he did.
He told himself, “Even if takes my last breath, I will see that she is happy.”

Here on, standing at the very porch, he only has his faith, his belief that no matter what, she will be happy again, she might forgive him some day, she might, love him again.

p.s. this is a piece of fiction.

For the greater good...

2012-03-15T20:07:00.000+05:30

Here I was, having just arrived yesterday, in a new place, in a new town, full of new and unknown people.

Leaving my family wasn’t the best decision I had made especially since I was the ‘man’ of the house. But I had to, not because I wanted to, but because I wasn’t left with any choice.

There I was, sitting with other strangers besides me, speaking in a strange language, seemingly oblivious to my presence among them. I had nobody I knew. I was alone.

Tears welled up my tired eyes, asking myself, “Was it the right thing to do?” And I’d simply overcame my tears, wiping them away with my uncouth shirt, hearing myself say, “It was for the greater good.”

Here I was, sitting amongst the other travellers, heading towards their destination known to them. I was still trying to figure out what to do, how to do, where to do.

I had no money left in my pocket, I had not eaten anything since morning, sleeping on the platform of the railway station wasn’t as bad as I had thought I would be, except for the mosquitoes.

Here I was, sitting at the same place since I woke up, wondering how to begin. But then I saw families walking down to greet their loved ones or to send them off. I smiled. All the doubt into dust, I told myself, “If I have reached here, I will find a way, to make it large.”

There I was, 18 years’ old, sitting on the platform of Mumbai’s main railway station (CST), with the belief that I will become a man, and help my family, because going away, was indeed, for the greater good.

p.s. This is a piece of fiction.

We, The Students..

2012-03-04T23:22:00.000+05:30

How often do we come across students having problems in their classes, in their hostels, in their daily routines, etcetera.

This was the second time I had participated in a strike against the management of my college and it was only the first time that I actively participated in it; my first, real, experience of being a student, something to cherish.

We have been having a lot of problems over the years in our college premises leaving us, students, vulnerable to the local wolves who, pounce on innocent strangers who would have never meant any harm to them.

I was also a victim, a long time ago. But this isn’t my story. This is the story of everyone, standing in unison against the blind management.

The strike would have never happened had something have not happened that fateful night.

Two students, returning from their gym, were walking towards the hostel, when four, drunk goons decided to stop them while one of them robbed them of Rs. 10,000/- at knife point. When the entire hostel found out, we decided that this was the end of the peace movement, which always bore no fruit.

We had decided to go on a strike.

I got involved when people asked me, along with a few others, to speak for them, and I obliged, because this was the place where even I stayed, and such unsafe environment was highly uncalled-for, especially when the management knew about such situations recurring time and again and did nothing about it.

I spoke. I let them know how important it was that there be a safer environment for students to stay, and it was highly ignorant of the management to turn a deaf ear to all the complaints that have come by them.

The very same day arrangements were made for a safer atmosphere, or at least there began a change for the greater good of the hostelites.

We are among the youngest nations of this world, averaging an age of just over 23. The majority of this nation are students and I guess you will agree with me when I say that when we are one, nobody can touch us, nobody can stop us, nobody can divide us.

We are the biggest democracy and it is high time we test its limits and touch the skies.

We are, the students.

p.s.: The update on the current affairs is that although our requests have been tended to, they are now showing their 'might' by imposing rules upon us. This is democracy.

Freedom

2012-02-27T16:14:00.000+05:30

Freedom means different things to different people.

Freedom for a beggar is when he can get rid of his misery and lead a normal life.

Freedom for a school going kid is not to go to one and lead a life full of fun, and, for obvious reasons, not pick up a book unless its a story book full of pictures.

Freedom can mean so many different things to different sects of people in this world.

Freedom, means to breathe.
Freedom, means to live, and not bother what to do tomorrow or for that matter what happened yesterday.
Freedom, is expressing yourself without the fear that someone might taunt, criticize or laugh.
Freedom, is to do whatever I wished to do but, at the same time, limit myself knowing where my line of control lies.
Freedom, is doing what I believe is right, and not be constrained by laws, babus and other corrupt politicians.

Freedom, is me.

Glimmer of Hope...

2012-01-24T22:11:00.000+05:30

In a cricket frenzy nation like us, we expect only the best out of probably the most formidable batting line up in the world. But what we do not realize is that we are also naive and we think emotionally and therefore we disregard the best that the person has or had done before. We write him off.

Nowadays, our nation has lost the interest in the finest type of cricket, viz test cricket, and instead prefer seeing the shorter formats, viz, one-day and the T-20's. With India's dismal performance in the overseas arenas, there is a growing decline in the television viewers of test cricket too.

Our destiny was written on the the night of 4th. April 2010, when India took away the most coveted prize in cricket today, the world cup, but now, no one talks about it, instead, all we talk about is how badly we are playing and how the seniors should be sacked.

I do agree that players should be dropped if they are not performing in the highest level of cricket, but they must never be ignored. That is precisely what the Board of Control for Cricket in India, also known as BCCI is doing, that being the primary reason for players like Irfan Pathan being ignored. Instead, they should be a supporting shoulder to get back to being the best that they were looking for, to get back on track.

The point I am trying to make here is that no one person is responsible for the downfall of Indian cricket today, especially in the overseas scenario.It is the whole team which is not performing.

But I have a belief and I am sure everyone has read or heard it somewhere, at some point of their lives. It says, "the brightest dawn comes just after the darkest night."

Don't lose hope in our team. We are a nation with the most number of cricket fans. If we lose hope, we don't give hope to the team we consider the best in the world.

I believe that there is a silver lining among the dark clouds, and our famous and feared Indian Cricket Team will come back to be the best side.

There is a glimmer of hope.

The white collar way...

2012-01-11T21:51:00.001+05:30

We all have our angels. We all have our devil, creeping well within ourselves. It is our choice whom we choose.

Here I was, travelling by the local train towards Bandra, Mumbai, and I came across two of the most drastic scenarios.

First, a small girl, about 8 or 9 years old begging in the compartment of the train for any amount of money.

Second, a group of people, most of them blind, sitting on the bridge of the Bandra station selling items for a meager amount.

We are an emerging nation, entering the second world nations, we have the second largest hand power on this planet, we make billions of dollars across the globe and yet, even today, we see these two drastic pictures with every wake of our life.

But, I am not here to ridicule the working of our nation, in fact, I am here to talk about the honest living of these honest people.

We see blind people on the road begging, we see physically challenged people on the signals of our country, peeping through the window, showing their 'innocent' faces. I personally feel bad when these beggers include the old aged and out of pity, I shell out a buck or two for their satisfaction and mine. But what most of us do not realize is that the means by which these road-siders meet their daily needs is wrong and make it into a big racket, a profession and we indirectly encourage this so-called profession.

We also come across the same kind who make a living through an honest way. Like the people sitting on the bridge of the railway station, like the numerous vendors on the local trains and the young generation like us who also sell inanimate objects which might or might not be useful to all and sundry.

We must encourage these people and set an example by discouraging beggary and educate the beggers to make ends meet the white collar way.

p.s.: We, the citizens of this amazing nation, must wake from this sleep of ignorance and help our future to grow into great people and eradicate beggary for good.

And This Is How It Ended.

2012-01-02T00:36:00.001+05:30

A month before the 31st. of December, 2011.

She said, "Dush, please let me know what the plans are because I have to ask my mum starting a few days from now and continue nagging till she agrees. You know how it works in my house *giggles*."

I said, "Don't worry baba, let me finish my exams first, I 'll tell you what the plan is in a few days."

Two weeks later.

She said, "Dush, you still haven't told me what the plan is. My mum will not permit me to go out on the 31st. and you know I want to be with you."

I said, "Relax. Everything is under control. I have planned something." (although I had no idea what to do, considering my exams of course) *sticking out tongue*

Fast forwarding to the 30th. December, 2011.

She said, "Dush!!! I haven't asked my mum. She will never say yes to any plan that happens at the last minute."

I said, "Arey don't worry. See, my friends are going for dinner, and I want you to come with me, and stop doing natak, understood na !!!???"

31st. December, 2011.

She texted, "Dush, I told you mum wouldn't allow. She said no. She said there are guests at home, so I shouldn't go out."

That's when I decided I had to see her, no matter what. She was the person I wanted to see before the end of the year. It was not planned, it was based purely on timing and hopefully luck.

I knew she was upset, sitting at home, feeling claustrophobic and not to mention being frustrated.

At 7.30pm, I met my friends, sitting at the hiranandani galleria awaiting the others.

The time with my friends was fun, being with them and catching up on things.

By 11.30pm, everything was done, talking, drinking, eating. I knew she had to be the last person I see, now more than ever, and considering the time, I was sincerely hoping I could reach her place before 12am.

I bought her doughnuts from MOD and took off in the rickshaw.

I kept checking the time, every time I felt I was going to get late.

She did not know I was coming.

Her family would have killed her if she got out at that time.

I texted her to do anything and get out only for five minutes so that I could see her.

She said no she can't and instead told me to go home.

11.45pm.

I called her up and said, "babe, I'm standing outside your house. Come to the balcony and see me for 5 minutes."

She said, "You are absolutely crazy !!! You know that, don't you??" *scarlet faced*

I said, "A lil bit, but you just had to be the last person I wanted to lay my eyes upon before we go into the new year." *smile*

I couldn't give her the doughnuts (for obvious reasons) but there was something I did give her.

I gave her the smile that she deserved.

I was the last person she saw at the end of the year.

She was the last person I saw at the end of the year... *smiles*

p.s.: Happy new year to all of my readers. Have a wonderful year ahead. May God bless you.

Men, the strong ones...

2011-12-16T15:06:00.000+05:30

Insecurities are usually the reason for the downfall of a person, be it a man or a woman. It is more so in the case of men. Women thrive on the aspect of doing everything possible to demean the other person so long as she wins (not talking about the entire woman clan, just a selective few). We, men, are the most vulnerable to insecurities. We hide it like it is nothing to be worried about, but deep down inside, we fight against it every day, hoping that one day we will overcome it. But life, the bitch that it is, never loses hope of putting us in a fix every time we try to overcome it.

Guys would never talk about things like this, and I, being a guy from top to bottom, am still willing to talk about it, not because I’m gay (I am super straight) but because I find myself on a platform where I feel free to express my thoughts (and this too after a lot of contemplation).

What you women don’t understand is that when we guys are insecure about something, it’s not necessarily because of them, but it may range to beyond them (it’s not always about you, you know).

Our insecurities would range from competition at work, good looking men, men talking shit about him, etc etc so on and so forth.

Men never forget what they have been accused of, even if it is a lie. It troubles them a lot and it takes them a while to get over it (and I’m talking elephant years here). And the effort gets more and more futile when they come across certain events or actions committed by the accused.

Writing all this does not make a man weak or more insecure about things around him, but he knows that he’s making the necessary efforts and it is all the more important that the community supports him no matter how rubbish the situation it may seem to them. We guys are known to hold fast to every decision that we make and even if it takes time for us to achieve it, we do in the end make it happen.

So, to women, remember just one thing, we, men, do have feelings and it is unruly of you to ignore it, even if it may seem insignificant. Just have faith that we do try very hard to overcome our fears and insecurities and we expect you, the ones behind our success and failures, to keep the ship steady because we never want our insecurities in the first place.

Three-fourth and a half Engineer

2011-11-28T15:25:00.000+05:30

3/4^th and a ½ eningeer.

I started this course 5 years ago with the hope that after 4 years I would become an engineer. The ‘dream’ finally came true with the consent and money from my family even though I could have been someone totally different, had I chosen the right path to my life.

The first semester sailed through without any hassles with an average percentage. The second semester set the tone for the forth coming semesters for the next 3 years of my life which only proved the earlier doubt in my mind that I wasn’t made for engineering. I kept cursing as to why I came into this field in the first place. I knew I could have become someone totally different, had I trusted my instincts. But lunacy and the constant reminder that my father was an engineer changed the whole perspective of my life, and the way it would shape out to be.

Came 2^nd year. Almost on the verge of losing it, I must add. Faith, prayer and dedication changed that and I emerged stronger, clearing almost all of my arrears. Came 3^rd year and here I thought nothing could go wrong. Oh boy! Did I prove myself and all the others wrong or what!!!

A very famous singer said in his song and I quote, “Life is a rollercoaster...”

He proved himself right. I fell, and hell did I fall hard.

Well, my 5^th year in engineering finally commenced. No arrears, only thing to look ahead is the future and what it holds for me, depending on how I deal with my present.

A very famous tortoise said and I quote, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift; that is why they call it present.”

So, today, I stand before you, as a three-fourth and a half engineer. The labs are finally done with a eerie feeling of joy and sorrow at the same time because after today, no more labs, no more conductor-type attire for a uniform and most importantly, no more record/journal writing.

To complete my engineering on a high, I need to score well and that is the only way I can win the hearts of my folks and galore. Considering how badly I have fared in my years as a student, I only need to push hard and in this life, there is no such word and cannot be a word in my dictionary – impossible.

A band recently rejoined(even if only for one song) and they have amazing words in the song which only fortify what I said and I’d like to end this article by quoting them.

I can,

I will,

I know I can,

Untie these hands,

And get back up again.

p.s. Thank you Ronan Keating for writing such a wonderful song.

Thank you Blue for the song I can.

Lastly, thank you Master Uguay for those wise words.

p.p.s: Got my exams in just over a week now and too much to study, here comes my present.

I

2011-10-12T15:01:00.000+05:30

I

I have a voice.

I want to scream, I want to shout, I want to voice everything in my heart stored in me for all those years of my life.

But I’m scared of hurting others by what I say because I fear losing them from my life.

And yet, everyone does the very same thing I try avoiding.

I have dreams.

I want to dream them, live them, cherish them, every one of them stored in my heart.

But I have to be more understanding because I have to think about others, be the grown up and sacrifice my dreams.

And yet, everyone around me lives theirs.

I want to be rich.

I want to own billions of dollars, have castles for houses, own cars which would drop jaws everywhere I go.

But I choose to be lazy instead, I choose to build castles in the air, I choose to be demeaned by everyone else.

And yet, I never learn, I in turn doubt myself for the remaining time of my life.

I want to attain peace.

I want to be loved, I want to feel understood, make my family’s dreams come true, I want to feel and be happy for the rest of my life.

But I choose to criticize my life, I choose to find fault in others, I choose to be the worst person possible and make others feel worse.

And yet, I never take a stand, I choose to do nothing about it.

I need to change.

I want to kill every negative side of me, be more understanding, be more confident, make others smile around me.

I choose to take the right path to attain it, I choose to take the difficult path to achieve it, I choose to win, instead of sitting down with my head in my hands.

And now, I choose to do everything it takes to make things right, I choose to bring peace to my mind.

I will speak at the right time.

I will dream and dare to achieve them.

I will never doubt myself (and be rich).

I will attain peace.

I will bring happiness to myself, and to others.

I will win.

p.s.: This is a piece of fiction.

Letters to God

2011-10-01T01:19:00.000+05:30

Dear God,

You know my mummy ? My mummy very ~~buaeitful~~ ~~baeutifull~~ beautiful. This spelling correct ?
But she trouble me lots. She force me to eat food I not like. She beat me when I no eat. She also force me to drink milk *yuck*. She always troubling me. I cry and go to my secret room every time she hit me. Why she do like that ?

But she also love me. She holding my hand tightly every time we go outing. She giving me chocolate to eat when I come first in my class. She also giving me a tight hug when I cry in my secret room.

I love my mummy alot. God, please take bad part of mummy, then I also happy. Mummy also happy. Everybody happy.

Will you also give me lots of ~~choclats~~ chocolates and holidays so I can play with my friends ?

Love,
munchkin ( This what me mummy call me.. yuck.. make she forget this ~~pleese~~ please)

This post may be a cliched one. But it is the voice of a 5 year old boy who writes a letter to God. We all wish for something or the other that we want God to fulfill for us. It's about time that we also write letters...no ??:)

fight and flight

2011-08-28T16:07:00.000+05:30

1st. April, 2008 : 20:00 hrs.

He was walking back from the internet cafe.

Ignoring warnings about the kind of people who stroll in the night in that area, he still chose to go that late. It was dark. It was a long journey back to the hostel. Little did he know that he would be a target of the hooligans strolling in that area. He was nineteen. He was walking alone. And that's when it happened.

Two really fat and drunken men stopped him in the corner of the street. One of them had a motorcycle, the other noticed the boy with the phone in his hand and demanded it. He was frightened. Scared out of his wits. But he managed to compose himself and told those two goons in their foreign language(how much ever he knew) to let him be. He kept saying this was the only phone he had and he wanted them to let him go. The guy who kept demanding the phone was sloshed, said ,"I shall make a call and give it back to you." Naive as he was, hoping against hope that this 'nice person' would honour his promise, the boy decided to give his phone. He observed that the fat man was so intoxicated he just pressed the call button without knowing that the phone was locked. The boy was slightly bemused by his actions because he was actually talking to someone he hadn't even called.

After 'disconnecting' his so called 'call', his first reaction towards the boy was "GO". The fat drunken man had his phone. For a moment there, the boy din't know what to do. He decided to fight. He held the fat man's hands when he was about to sit on the motorcycle begging him to give his phone back. The other guy who was starting the bike, stopped doing so and hit the boy on the face. The kid didn't budge. He still held on to the other guy's hand. He felt slaps showered all over him by both the hooligans, but the boy never let go of the hand and still kept trying to snatch his phone back. He yelled at the top of his voice asking for help from the pedestrians, but none of them even came forward. They pretended nothing was happening. The boy felt disgusted.

That's when, out of no where, two other gentlemen on another bike stopped and asked the boy what had happened. The boy started describing everything to them amidst the slaps he was still receiving from those two people. The man who came to the rescue of the boy decided to confirm if the phone was actually snatched away by the hooligans. He asked the boy to give his number so he could ring up and find out. Just as the boy begun voicing his contact number, the evil, drunken man quietly slipped the phone into the boys hand from behind the back. The boy yelled out loud and told what had just happened. He got his phone back and without waiting for anymore action, he ran, ran for his life till he reached his hostel gates.

Fight and Flight.

Kingdom of Heaven....

2011-08-21T19:45:00.000+05:30

Before God made man, he made earth.(along with the big bang of course)

When he made man, he made him in his exact image....eyes, nose, lips, hands, legs, everything there is to it.

But then He became jealous because, by mistake, he made us mortals; the biggest gift to mankind...

Why do we believe that God exists in the same place as us ???
Why do at least some of us believe that even the Devil lives amongst us ????

Doesn't click, does it ???

Everyone believes in heaven...and in hell....in some form or the other....
be it in slang language...or when u literally mean it...(the priest kind)...
We all do believe in it...don't we...???

Do u realise that the devil and the God are actually afraid of us...
because of 2 things....

1) We ARE mortals....
2) heaven is right where we want it to be....

How the latter you ask ???

Well.....this is the best part....

We, the human race, have the luxury of living the life we choose....hell like....or heaven like.....

There are some of us...who live life in the dirtiest way possible....they only begrudge their life...not wanting to do anything to change it....

hell...

There are some of us....with little or everything at our deposit...but we choose to be good.....and live life happily....

heaven....

This earth...this air....this water....everything because of which we are alive.....is our true heaven....

The Gods made heaven for us which was far better than theirs....

But what we choose to do is kill our own heaven....and convert it to nothing but hell...!!!
There can be nothing better than this....this is it...this is where you belong and this is where you will remain to be a mortal....

Let this remain for the future....

Let this be, forever more, your kingdom of heaven.....

Life, love and friendship...

2011-07-27T12:20:00.002+05:30

This is for you Neha...

I remember this girl I saw in the computer lab 9 years ago. I had a major crush on her best friend then. I remember how much she hated me, because she was teased with me in school and that literally pissed her off !!! I actually used to get really irritated because of the way she used to judge me for reasons I couldn't comprehend.

Going down that memory lane, never did I think I'd ever have a friend like you close to my heart after all those many years.

I remember our days at Yukti. We had so much fun, din't we ?? Din't you have the hots for some teacher then ??? (Correct me if I'm wrong)

I remember Kaushik too. :P That night when Shiva, Kaushik and I were at Shiva's place and you had that conversation in the night. Yes Neha, I do remember.

From being 10 minutes to being just 4 minutes away to your house, literally a hop, skip and jump away, we've come a long long way. Now you will be over 20 hours away from me and all of our friends and let me tell you that sucks.

You were by my side during the brightest phases of my life, you were by my side during the darkest phases of my life.

We laughed, we cried, you are very close to my heart and I sincerely thank you for putting up with me for all these many years.

You are my closest friend among the girls and I'd like to keep it like that forever. Filling in about our stories and about whatever had happened during the time I was in Bangalore, our chemistry when we danced, your drunken times, all, ALL will be missed.

From Azzuri to your house, we all had a blast, seeing Shiva at his best(banging his head on the floor ie)...everything has been etched in my mind forever...

From you breaking your countless number of glasses to dropping your phone at all the times possible to our "frequency", all will be missed.

I'll miss you Neha. Take care and have a glorious journey towards your dreams.

love you,

muah !!!!

(at 12th road I think)

(at Azzuri's)

p.s.: Do keep in touch...leave a text on my number when you change into your new number once you get jailed ie. :P

p.p.s: Take some of the Indian flies with you, so that you can remember them. :P Remember chance pe dance. *laughing my ass off*
p.p.p.s : Loved our time at Azzuri...wish we had another night like that...

A picture says it all...

2011-07-14T02:07:00.001+05:30

A picture says it all...

You capture a picture with every wake of your life,