New Day

Seasoned!

2011-10-26T12:17:00.000+11:00

Maybe it's the fact that I stumbled across my long abandoned blog today, or maybe it's that I've stopped long enough to hear God's gentle voice speaking again.... whatever the reason I'm back!
Writing is in me and it's about time I exercised that muscle again.

Life is busy, we all know that; but we often don't realise until we stop and take stock of our lives. I'm on a forced 'sabbatical', recovering from surgery I can't do much for 6 weeks except eat, read, sleep and couch it! So anyone reading, you shall be the recipient of my bored but open heart!

Seasons and God have been running through me the past few days. It seems that whatever place or time we're in, we're being prepared for the next one.

My youngest is coming to the end of Prep (the first year of school in Aus), and with that her teacher is preparing the class for stepping into Year 1. This means no more mummy or daddy walking them into class at the beginning of the day; no more tearful hugs and kisses, it's time to grow up! They are being prepared for their next season.

It got me thinking about seasons, and how God always moves and works within them. And from one season to the next he is continually preparing us for the new one.

I mean Ecclesiastes 3 in the Bible is dedicated to seasons, "To everything [there is] a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:A time to be born, And a time to die;......"(nkjv).

Jesus even said when he was on earth, "In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." John 14:2)

While we're here on earth we're preparing for the greatest final season - heaven.... Our eternity rests on how we live in this season while on earth.

Sometimes the season we're in bogs us down to think it's for forever. Particularly if it hasn't been the best season, we start to think we will always be in this never ending valley. But it has occurred to me in recent days that a season is just that - a frame of time that will come to an end. God is calling me on to the next season, and if I fail to listen, I will miss the opportunities and growth that He requires of us all to grow and move onward and up.

Just like the Israelites who got bogged down in the wilderness for 40 years. God had them in that 'season' to prepare them for the promised land, but they got so focused on where they were they forgot it was only for preparation, and most of them died in their preparation season.

God uses everything to help us grow and learn, every circumstance; and I am thankful that He is calling me and you to a new season! It's time to walk out of the old and into the new and to take all that we learn from this wilderness into our Promised Land!

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20

The boat is safer!

2010-07-03T21:30:00.012+10:00

Change! That six letter word that either strikes terror into the most stable of souls, or excites those who love it!

I don't mind change, I find it exciting and though a little scary very empowering! The old adage; 'change is as good as a holiday', in my book is correct; as long as it's good change!

At the moment I feel like everything around me is changing. I have relies moving interstate, our house being built, our kids are growing up and next year we'll have two in high school, and our baby starting prep; and a couple of other things are brewing in my coffee!

If I break it down the not so great part of change is the uncertainty. I think if we all knew where we were heading and 'exactly' what was going to happen next we would all jump at change. But the reality is that with uncertainty many of us balk at embracing it, or even taking the leap to see it come.

Leaving behind what we know, no matter how awful and unchallenging it is, can be harder than staying comfortable.

I think of Peter in the Bible, when Jesus told him to walk on water; Matthew 14:28,29 Then Peter called to him, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you by walking on water." "All right, come," Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus.

"Lord if it's really you????" How many times have you and I said that?

We hesitate to change or make a decision because we're unsure God will bless what we do. It's safer in the boat, no risk, no fear of failure, nothing lost. No feathers ruffled, no limits challenged, no pride smashed. The boat always looks great.

You see if you read the verses before this, the disciples were out in the middle of a storm. The waves were high and the wind was raging all around them. Jesus appears out of nowhere and Peter decides this is a great time to try some water walking. I mean why not water-walk in the middle of a storm, why would you attempt to water walk when everything is calm? You would think that with Peter being a professional fisherman at that point that he would be saving the boat, not thinking about jumping ship!

Sometimes we need to take the leap when everything is storming around us, instead of waiting until calmer, safer shores are in our view. Sometimes God is asking us to trust Him and almost blindly take the 'next' step when everything is telling us to stay in the boat.

I think what Peter says here is the key. 'Lord if it's really You, tell me I can do the impossible!' 'Tell me that if I have You near me, I can achieve unimaginable things!'

'Father if this is really You,cause the storm that's raging around me to calm, and let me feel strong.'

Know your seasons! If you blindly take a leap without God telling you to, you could find yourself in deep water. But if He says 'Come', then know with all certainty that even if you start to sink, He will be there to hold you up.

Water walking is not for the faint-hearted; but those who dare to leap find their faith stronger and their God greater!

The coup that was!!

2010-06-25T21:35:00.008+10:00

Yesterday was a history making day for Australia. A swift, bloodless assassination took place in the halls of Parliament house in Canberra.

Far be it from me to comment on politics, I find it boring, frustrating and sometimes quite tedious. I switch off whenever anything political comes on tv and flick past pages on politics in the newspaper. But what went down in Australian politics yesterday captured the entire nation's attention.

For many reasons the shining glow of Kevin Rudd's climb to glory in 2007 dulled significantly in 2010. The many supporters and political allies' very quickly turned to administer the final blows to Kevin's demise. Relieved of duty by a woman must to any red-blooded, testosterone charged male be a humbling hit.

It seems unfair, wrong and utterly humiliating for him. I watched a broadcast when Kevin Rudd was quietly sitting in Parliament on the backbench, when only a few days earlier he would have been leading his Party on the front-bench.

I guess we can all relate to unfair treatment in some part of our lives. Some of us have walked through abuse, character assassinations, backstabbing, and one of the hardest pills to swallow - betrayal from the closest of friends. Pain and disappointment is an unfortunate part of human life.

The greatest One who ever walked our fallen planet walked through all of the above. Jesus experienced it all, and even though he walked as one of us He was also in fact God. He chose to go through everything we would ever go through, so He could be our merciful and faithful Judge.

He took it all when the religious leaders of the day assassinated His flawless character and He stood silently while they poured accusations out against Him.

God didn't want to be some out of touch Power who had never experienced living through what we daily experience. It was necessary for Him to become like us, but without sin, so that He could then offer up His own life as a sacrifice to take away the sins of every person.

So that whether you're Kevin Rudd, Julia Gillard, or the next would-be Prime Minister, whatever you have experienced or will experience in the future; God Almighty, Creator of the universe has been through it all and feels what you feel.

What an amazing God we live for.

Hebrews 2:17

Therefore, it was necessary for Jesus to be in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. He then could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people.

Love Came Down

2010-06-23T22:54:00.002+10:00

There is nothing like the Presence of God to calm, soothe, heal your tired soul.

Call it heaven here on earth, call it what you like; when your own soul is flagging a little let the sound of other worshippers wash over you. Pretty soon you'll find your own soul being lifted heaven-ward and drawn to the Lover of your soul.

Love Came Down (If My Heart Is Overwhelmed)

By: Brian and Jenn Johnson, Jeremy Riddle, Ian Mcintosh

If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice

I’ll hold on to what is true though I cannot see

If the storms of live they come and the road ahead gets steep

I will lift these hands in faith I will believe

I remind myself of all that You’ve done

And the life I have because Your Son

Love came down and rescued me

Love came down and set me free

I am Yours I am forever Yours

Mountain high or valley low

I sing out remind my soul

I am Yours I am forever Yours

vs: 2

When my heart is filled with hope and every promise comes my way

When I feel Your hands of grace rest upon me

Staying desperate for You God, Staying humbled at Your feet I will lift these hands and praise I will believe

Tag: I am Yours, I am Yours, all my days, I am Yours

Little known facts......

2010-06-14T22:22:00.010+10:00

I was visiting my Mum and Dad in the country this weekend, being the Queen's Birthday and all.

On a side note, do you know the Queen's actual birthday is in April!! Apparently according to my English descended Mother, June is the set celebration for any King or Queen's Birthday. So your birthday could be in December, but if you're the King or Queen, everyone shall celebrate your birthday in June!! Some trivia for you!!

Anyway, you always find out interesting facts when you visit your parents, and that was one of the many interesting facts I learnt this weekend.

Another interesting fact I learned was while listening to my Father's message on Sunday morning. My Dad is a Pastor and does an amazing job of running a church (with my Mum's help), while he quietly and graciously battles Parkinsons. You would only have to visit their kitchen to see how much medication Dad is on to keep himself upright and able to face each day.

My Dad in all reality could probably find it easier somedays to just crawl under a rock, but all though he has battled Parkinsons for over twenty years he has continued to serve God 'wherever' he has found himself.

You see my Mum and Dad have come from a growing group of people who have chosen to put God's house before their own. My parents have faithfully served God for so many years but have been unable to store up for themselves house and riches here on the little planet we know so well called earth.

Back to my fathers message on Sunday; he preached from a few verses I had never really heard before, they summed up my parents life, and challenged my own.....

"Why are you living in luxurious houses while my house lies in ruins? This is what the LORD Almighty says: Consider how things are going for you!

You have planted much but harvested little. You have food to eat, but not enough to fill you up. You have wine to drink, but not enough to satisfy your thirst. You have clothing to wear, but not enough to keep you warm. Your wages disappear as though you were putting them in pockets filled with holes!

"This is what the LORD Almighty says: Consider how things are going for you!

Now go up into the hills, bring down timber, and rebuild my house. Then I will take pleasure in it and be honored, says the LORD. Haggai 1:4-8

As Dad established; it's fine to have houses and riches, but if they take you away from building the house of God and serving and adding to the advancement of God's kingdom, then you are not putting God first but building your own kingdom.

Mum and Dad have consistently put God's kingdom first and to their own disadvantage have done without a home, riches and security to sit with the hurting, be woken throughout the night for the needy, and be available 24/7 to anyone who calls. I've seen it in action.

It challenged me Sunday to not lose sight of what is most important while we go through the building process of our own home. I work nearly full-time, have a busy family, where o' where do I find time to build God's kingdom? I am challenged to not 'store up riches for myself here on earth', but to put my energy, effort and heart into what matters to God. And further, to not compartmentalise my life so that I feel like I have to 'slot' God into it, but rather let Him flood into every area of my life.

Of course there is balance and we need to provide for our family and many things are also seasonal; but when life becomes all about getting that next thing and we just squeeze God into a corner of it then I guess we're not really building His kingdom are we?

My home away from Home!!

2010-05-30T20:41:00.008+10:00

It's been a big weekend, even an emotional weekend. We found out after going to clear rubbish from our block yesterday, that building had begun, the site had been cleared and was ready to go.

We have waited almost a year to see something happen on our land; I know a year isn't long to wait and that a lot of people don't even get as far as owning a block of land. But for us the possibility of ever getting our own piece of property is a miracle.

It was only by a miracle we were able to buy our first house in Geelong about four and a half years ago, a miracle we were able to renovate it, and again a miracle that it sold for a substantial amount more than what we paid for it a few years after.

What makes building our own home another miracle for us I guess is the fact that for years and years we have worked in different roles in many different churches. We have always lived for the love of the work we do. And when we were both working in churches many times we overlooked the wage for the privilege of doing something we both loved.

Call it youth or blind sightedness, but in our early years before we had kids, having enough to buy a house never even entered our minds. We were living for the moment. Then as the years went by and the kids came, the costs of living on low wages caused us to find ourselves swimming in debt with no savings.

Anyone who has known us for a few years, would know that we have probably lost count of the amount of houses we have lived in. Not because we have gypsy blood flowing through our veins (although that could be partly true), but for many different reasons, bad landlords, houses sold, houses too small, too far from work, too much rent, we have never lived in the same house for more than two years. Gosh in our early few years we even moved once because it was stinking hot and Jose wanted a pool.... shocking I know!!

Maybe we're just different and God made us to be flexible and moveable, that's cool, I can cope with change and God opening doors to new possibilities; but yesterday when I stood on our block of land and saw the markings of our new home I got a little emotional.

I have never lived in a brand new home, and the thought of having a piece of real estate with my name on it, something I can call my own, is quite astounding.

On the flip side, I know that my home on earth is not forever. I know that someday God will call me home to my real home, where nothing will be temporary or moveable or at the mercy of rust, weather, or human beings.

I can be very excited about the prospect of building my home here, but I should be far more excited about the home God is building me in heaven.

In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. John 14:2,3.

She made it!!!

2010-05-15T20:06:00.009+10:00

Well I think you would have to be living under a rock with your head in the sand if you haven't heard or seen Jessica Watson's triumphant return home to Sydney Harbour today! It was an emotional journey through the harbour with thousands looking on, and her parents and family sailing alongside in a VIP boat.

As I wrote in my last blog, Jessica is a remarkable young woman who has shown that courage, persistence and hard work coupled with an almighty dream will see you accomplish anything you put your mind to.

Listening to Jessica speak and then be interviewed, showed a woman who was confident in who she was, someone who had grown up in the past few months, and wasn't afraid to be herself.

When the Prime Minister spoke about Jessica being a 'hero', her reply was inspiring:- "I don't consider myself a hero. I'm an ordinary girl who believed in her dream, You don't have to be someone special to achieve something amazing. You've just got to have a dream, believe in it and work hard."

The truth is that only a small percentage of the population actually achieve their dreams. It's a sad reality that causes people like Jessica to stand out and be given a hero's welcome. So many of us have dreams, great dreams, but how many of us actually act on them and see them through to completion.

I hazard to guess that many of us start well, and sail off with expectation and excitement. But when that first wave of resistance, or negativity hits, how long before we turn round and run home.

Jessica experienced seven knock downs over her round the world voyage. A knock down is a nautical term for the boats mast being horizontal with the water, and a couple of those knock downs took her mast well under water. Her cabin was flooded numerous times, I imagine the shock of being knocked over in the deep ocean alone would have been very frightening. But even this horror wasn't enough to send sixteen year old Jessica running for safe waters.

It's those in history that have stared fear in the eyes and sucked their guts in and persevered through the most difficult times, who grace our history books and raise the bar to higher levels.

What makes Jessica a hero is not the amazing accomplishment of sailing around the world solo; what makes Jessica a hero is her character and courage to get up again and again after she was knocked down.

If you, like me have experienced some of life's knock downs, you would appreciate the will and courage it takes to get up again. Sometimes it takes a long time to pull yourself up, and other times it's just a matter of brushing yourself up and getting back on your feet.

Whatever has been your knock down, if you know Christ, you would know that every act of standing back up has been assisted by the arms of God. We may fall down alone, and we may publicly stumble in the dirt; but when we stand, we are helped to our feet by heavenly hands.

For if it wasn't for the strong arms of our Father God, we may never walk again.

Psalm 37:24
Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down;For the LORD upholds him with His hand.

Psalm 145:14
The LORD upholds all who fall,And raises up all who are bowed down.

One year old!!!!

2010-05-02T20:59:00.006+10:00

If you are reading this, then welcome to my blogs first birthday! And in celebration of one year of blogging I have changed the look of my blog and given it a freshen up!

For anyone who's written a blog, you would appreciate the time and effort it takes to write and research and find inspiration for your blog. Of course if you love writing its usually not an issue. But I am particularly excited at reaching one year because I am a great starter but not always a good finisher. So even though some months have been a little sparse, generally I have consistently kept a regular blog post going.

Anyhoo, last night I was reading over some of my older posts just to see if they captured my attention as a reader. I found that some of them even inspired me re-reading them, so I guess they still have it.

As a blogging mum, wife and full-time employee; I find it hard to sometimes fit in the things I love that inspire my creativity. When the housework is screaming louder than my writing and the family has more important needs than my music, it's easy to get frustrated and consider giving up. But I feel compelled to write and create, and I guess in many ways I am inspired to share my struggles, convictions and 'light-bulb' moments with anyone who will read them because if in turn it helps to inspire you then, hey, it's all worth it!

And the whole point of our existence here on planet earth is ultimately to love God, and love each other. So in whatever way we are gifted it should be to use those gifting's to help and inspire each other.

So as I walk into my second year of blogging, I pray that God will continue to inspire my words and remind you that every new day is a gift from God.

Thanks for reading! x

Stormy weather a'brewin!

2010-04-23T21:01:00.011+10:00

I have been blown away by the courage and heroism of Jessica Watson. A sixteen year old girl from Queensland, Australia; Jessica has dreamed of sailing around the world since she was just twelve. She is now just days or weeks away from her triumphant return to Sydney harbour.

The amazing thing you find when you read Jessica's blog or different interviews and articles about her, is that she is very unassuming. She wasn't born with a hero tattooed onto her forehead, she didn't grow up in the lap of luxury and wasn't genetically bred for greatness. The truth is Jessica was afraid of water, had very little confidence, and has a reading disability!

But what makes Jessica stand out from anyone else is her determination. A determination to succeed and quite literally 'weather' every storm. Her remarkable preparation before the voyage is a reflection of her success.

The only thing I had heard about Jessica before she started around the world was her trial run down the coast to Sydney, and less then 24 hours into her trip running into a large ship. If it was any of us we may have cancelled the trip and patted ourselves on the back for at least trying, and then skulked back to our mundane lives. But not Jessica, after this incident she was even more determined to succeed.

In the years leading up to her attempt to sail around the world; she did courses, watched tradesman take motors apart and learned how to repair them herself. She studied other sailors, talked to everyone she could and travelled to other countries to sail and learn from others. She washed dishes to pay her way to learn and experience, and learnt how to sew sails. She remained focused and un-distracted from her dream!

Tonight and the next few days ahead the forecast is for some pretty wild weather. It seems Jessica's last leg of the journey will be a challenging one. But when she sails into Sydney harbour and her goal is within sight, she will know she has achieved everything she dreamed of achieving and nothing will be impossible for her.

The lesson for me here, is any dream worth pursuing will take preparation, determination and complete focus. I will experience storms, heartache, pain and fear. There will be moments of exhilaration, and stunning beauty. There will be many ups and many downs. But, If I hold onto God with everything and pursue the dreams He places in my heart, I will not only obtain the prize of knowing Him more, I will arrive at my destination 'Heaven' with more than a hero's welcome.

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13,14

Under- appreciated?

2010-03-01T22:19:00.006+11:00

"I just don't feel appreciated!" The young girl sobbed to her father. "I do all these things, all my jobs with being asked; look after all these people, and no-one even notices!"

She cried further, "And I don't know who I am, I don't know what's special about me, everyone else is appreciated for what they're good at, but no-one says anything to me!"

Appreciation. A five syllable word with a lot of power.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you felt appreciated? Only you know how much you do on a daily basis, how much effort you put into your family, your work, your talents.

Truth is, we can be doing a billion things, have our fingers in a thousand pies, look like our life is a blessed, fulfilled one; but if we don't feel appreciated we can question what it's all for!

When was the last time you stopped and thought about the people around you; the people you live with, work with, play with. The one you vowed to spend your life with. The children God blessed you with. When was the last time you told them how much you appreciated them, how glad you are that they are in your life. How long ago did you tell them how much you love what they bring to your life by their unique personalities.

Often the ones we love the most, and spend the most time with, don't get the appreciation they deserve because we become familiar. We get so used to seeing them and being with them that we forget how unique and wonderful they are.

The people in our lives are gifts from God who need to know they're loved, they're valuable, and appreciated for everything they are.

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Romans 12:10 (NIV)

Has the church gone down the toilet?

2010-02-21T22:13:00.006+11:00

Loud music, bright flashing lights, huge video screens, young-hip pastors, beautiful people only, complicated choruses, screaming guitars and pulse altering bass and drums.

Has the Church become a 'paradox', a contradiction of the values and purity earlier generations instilled so vehemently into it?

Only fifty to sixty years ago the church condemned those who went to dances, or listened to rock and roll. Women were expected to wear long dresses down to their ankles and tops buttoned high up to their necks, and tight clothes were a complete no no!

I spoke with a lady today who was passionately opinionated about the fact that the modern church is heading down the gurglar! And she felt it was her 'duty' to be a conscience and challenge to our wayward journey.

The Truth and reality is that the 'Church' is the body of Christ whether we agree or disagree with its current state, it is very much in the hands of Almighty God!

Over the past few decades the church has expanded to become multi denominational, embracing every culture, style and belief. It has evolved into a modern, culturally sensitive and relevant machine. Often berated for its teaching on money and criticised for being too modern, the church in all its many forms seems to be regularly attacked from within. Almost like a fast moving cancer that attacks its own body, the church is most guilty of not looking after its own.

So what does God think about what the Church has become? He says in His Word, that wherever two or three are gathered in His name, there He is in their midst. So I hazard to suggest, that maybe God really doesn't care about the 'politics' of the Church, and even the 'way' we do church. I think He cares more about what's going on inside the heart of a man or women within the church.

I think maybe He must laugh at all the hang ups we get as well-meaning Christians in berating our fellow brother or sister for things that don't hold an eternal weight; when there are souls living right next door to the 'church' that have never even heard about God!

The Church may annoy, trouble, or even upset you in it's current form, but our job is not to worry about the 'Church', that's God's job. He will have His way with His Church.

Our job is simply this:- "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone, everywhere. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned. Mark 16:15,16.

"I guess you don't love me anymore!"

2010-02-17T20:09:00.003+11:00

I had just reminded my youngest to lean over and be VERY careful not to drop chocolate cake on the carpet. My undoing probably came when I gave into her request to eat chocolate cake at the coffee table in the first place. But we were all sitting in the lounge room and she wanted her dessert, so 'just this time', I allowed her to sit there.

As she got up to take her bowl into the kitchen, I noticed little black crumbs all over the coffee table, all over her chair, and all over the fluffy white rug!

I growled at her, and reminded her about my plea to lean over and not spill any! Her disdainful reply - "Well, I guess you don't love me anymore!"

How many times do we strive and try to do our best, be our best, only to fall short and fail miserably. We wait for the lightening bolt or growl from heaven, or a big stick to appear from nowhere.

Truth is, nothing we do could make God love us less! And nothing we do can make him love us more. We're all His favourite and He's madly in love with us!

When my child said the above to me, I was speechless! I couldn't imagine how she could ever think I wouldn't love her if she made a mistake. I'm not God so I do growl and carry on, but nothing my kids could do now or in the future will change my love for them.

Many of us think God is too busy for us or we're not important enough for Him to speak to us. But nothing could be further from the truth - He waits for us to talk to Him, He walks with us everywhere we go. God is a God of relationship, and He loves nothing more than when we come to Him.

So grab a coffee (or a green tea in my case), a journal, and the Word of God, and take a moment or two to just talk with God. You might be surprised at what you hear!

The Lord appeared to us in the past,* saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3

Motion sickness...

2010-02-15T22:32:00.003+11:00

When I was around the age of five we lived in a amazing location called Walla Walla, a little country town north of Albury in New South Wales, Australia. Great name, great place.

We lived about an hour from some of the main Australian snowfields, so we would regularly go for a visit when winter came. I loved the snow and have many great memories of the snow fights, tobogganing, and I even remember my little brother falling into the edge of an icy pond and getting soaked through. (don't worry he survived)!

But of all those great memories, I have not so great memories of the drive up to these mountains. I have always suffered from car sickness, and have vivid memories of being so excited about the trip to the snow and then as soon as the windy roads hit throwing up all the way to the top of the mountain.

It was awful while I was sick, but the minute I hit the mountain the sickness was forgotten and I was into full snow-play!

At the moment in church we are doing a series called 'One month to live'! It's about getting your priorities in order like you would if you knew you had just 30 days to live. Yesterday our Pastor talked about 'going through the motions'. How we so often just coast through life on autopilot and don't really value our lives, our families, even our health until its challenged or gone.

It's funny how when a crisis hits in your life all the trivial, non-important things go out the window. That crisis holds your every thought and colours your day. You find yourself drawing closer to those you love and who love you. In a crisis everything that's important becomes strangely clear.

We have the opportunity to make each moment count, and to allow the 'crises in our lives to propel us forward to the top of the mountain. But we also have the opportunity to make each moment count everyday, when there are no dramas. Instead of just coasting through the motions and letting life just happen, we can ride this thing called life all the way to the top.

It's up to me whether I just 'coast', or really live!

For to me, living is for Christ, and dying is even better. Philippians 1:21

And the rain came down.....

2010-02-11T23:00:00.000+11:00

All day today the sky was dark. For the past few weeks it has been hot, humid and not very pleasant! But today the heavens opened in all their glory!

As I ran to the car in pouring rain, carrying about 100 envelopes of mail plus an umbrella and bag, as well as sheltering my daughter from the deluge; the storm positioned itself directly above us. The lightening flashed and about a second or two later the thunder crashed. I wondered if we were going to be electrocuted before we even made it to the car. But there was no turning back, there was only one way forward, and that was to run and not look back!

A strange thing for a 'Victorian', most of us enjoy the changeable, mostly cooler weather. Of course we all complain when the icy winter chill hits, but secretly I know we all love the cold, otherwise we would have moved to Queensland a long time ago!!

I have to admit in all honestly though, that I was in fact born a Queenslander! My ridicule has been long, and taken many shapes, but I have stood strong in the face of adversity and over time I believe I have become an honorary Victorian. In my estimation I have in fact lived longer in Victoria now than I ever did in Queensland, but roots run deep and occasionally the odd 'Aye' comes out, and I even found myself the other day asking my daughter if she had her 'Togs' ready... shocking I know!! (if you are not a Queenslander, find one & ask for the meaning of 'togs'!)

All this to say, that just because you are born into a town, state or even country doesn't mean you will live in that place for the rest of your life. We all move on.

We were all born sinners! Sorry if that doesn't inspire you, but it's true. Thanks to Adam and a little bit of Eve, or maybe it's Eve and a little bit of Adam; we were spiritually lost when we were born. We were born into sin, like I was born into Queensland!

But all of us at some point in our lives have the opportunity to make a decision. A decision to follow Jesus, to become 'Born Again'. When this happens our spirit is awakened and we are born into God, that means our previous origin of birth changes, we are now Christ-ones, children of God. This means our heritage, past, dna, present and future are changed!

Like I could be identified as a Queenslander, but clearly (because of my very pale skin) am now identified as a Victorian, we also when we make a decision to give our lives to Jesus, are clearly identified as Christians, belonging to God. Carrying His DNA, and becoming more like Him everyday!

Now that is worth living for!

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ,who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Philippians 3:20,21 (NKJV)

The Floods

2010-02-08T21:51:00.000+11:00

There is a story of a young missionary couple from Sweden, who felt the call of God to go to Africa in 1921. David and Svea Flood met up with another couple from Scandinavia who also felt the call of God. After praying for direction they all felt to leave the main mission in the Belgian Congo and go to a remote village and take the Gospel there.

The chief of the village refused to let them enter the town for fear they would convert the locals and anger their gods. So they went a half mile up the hill and built their own mud huts.

They prayed hard for a breakthrough into the village, but nothing happened. The only contact they were allowed was with a young boy who could come and sell them chickens and eggs twice a week. Svea Flood was a small woman of only 4 feet, and she decided that if this young boy was the only African she could have contact with, then she would try to lead him to Christ. She succeeded!

Meanwhile, malaria continued to strike each of the families down, and in time the Scandinavian couple decided they had had enough and went back down to the main mission. Shortly after Svea found she was pregnant, and had to face the reality of giving birth in a primitive wilderness. The chief at least allowed the local midwife to help her deliver, and a little girl was born. However the labour was exhausting and because of her many bouts of malaria she was too weak and lasted only another seventeen days.

That was the last blow for David Flood. He dug a grave, buried her, and took his newborn daughter down the mountain to the mission station. There he gave his baby daughter to the Scandinavian missionaries saying, “I’ve lost my wife, I obviously can’t take care of this baby, God has ruined my life!” He then left for Sweden, turning his back on his calling, and on God.

Within eight months the Erickson's were struck down with an illness and died also. The little baby girl Aina was given to some American missionaries who changed her name to Aggie and brought her back to the States. They loved her and gave her a wonderful upbringing.

In time Aggie got married to a young man named Dewey Hurst and had her own family. Her husband became president of a Christian college that had strong roots in Scandinavia. One day a Swedish magazine was sent to her and as she couldn't read the language she flipped through it. As she turned the pages she saw a picture of a primitive grave with a white cross and the name of Svea Flood on it. She ran to one of the lecturers who could speak the language and asked him to read it to her.

He quickly told her: - It was about missionaries who had come to N'dolera long ago...the birth of a white baby...the death of the young mother...the one little African boy who had been led to Christ...and how, after the whites had all left, the boy had grown up and finally persuaded the chief to let him build a school in the village. The article said that gradually he won all his students to Christ...the children led their parents to Christ...even the chief had become a Christian. Today there were six hundred Christian believers in that one village... All because of the sacrifice of David and Svea Flood.

Aggie went on in time to find her Father, a broken, bitter man who was very ill and still fell into a rage at the mention of ‘God’. As she talked to him, and told him of her life and the testimony of the African village, He slowly began to soften. By the end of that day He had come back to God and finally felt peace after so many years.

A few years later, the Aggie and her husband Dewey were attending a high-level evangelism conference in London, England, where a report was given from the nation of Zaire (the former Belgian Congo). The superintendent of the national church, representing some 110,000 baptized believers, spoke eloquently of the gospel's spread in his nation. Aggie could not help going to ask him afterward if he had ever heard of David and Svea Flood.

"Yes, madam," the man replied in French, his words then being translated into English. "It was Svea Flood who led me to Jesus Christ. I was the boy who brought food to your parents before you were born. In fact, to this day your mother's grave and her memory are honored by all of us.

Never underestimate the impact your simple act of sacrifice could have on another. And never underestimate the ripple effect that God will allow to happen when His children are involved!

Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. (John 12:24) NKJV

Just breathe 2.....

2010-01-02T20:55:00.000+11:00

2010. A new year, new decade, new possibilities....

I don't know about you, but I've kind of walked into the new year with little expectation. This is a first for me, usually I start the year with plans and goals and excitement for what the year could hold. Every year of my thirty-something years have started this way.

But this year feels different. I've read many posts and comments of people saying this year is going to be like none other, well wishers encouraging friends in their future; it's all great to read.

I think I've spent most of my life pushing, rushing, striving for the next best level of 'me', and that's all good because we need to keep becoming our best, but I'm a little tired of the striving. And I think for the first time in my life I'm starting to come to peace with not striving but learning to 'be' a little more.

You see from my experience to date, the striving comes from not loving yourself, not believing you are enough; the push to always be more, do more, change yourself.

God has seasons for everything, and yes there are seasons of change and pushing yourself to be better, but I don't believe the trying to be better should dominate every moment of your life. For me it has, I seem to be a naturally driven person, but I'm being forced to change.

Over the past two months I've been waking nearly every night gasping for breath. Some nights it's happened once a night, some several times through the night. It's been pretty scary, and the thought of going to sleep every night doesn't bring much joy. I've been to the doc and have been referred to a specialist. But over the past couple of weeks something has changed, and I've found the same problem happening through the day. It started happening Boxing day, and has continued nearly every day. Typically specialists are closed over Christmas, so I'm biding time until the break is over.

But I have come to appreciate something I never really thought of until now. Breathing!

When you can't seem to get enough oxygen into your lungs, that next breath becomes something so desperately wanted and needed you will do anything to get it! To feel your lungs fill with fresh air is like nothing else in this world.

Everything I've ever strived for has been either position, recognition or a good self-image. All of this is empty and according to Ecclesiastes in the Bible - 'vanity'!

With no expectation, and no desire to strive left in me, I have concluded that all I want is to know God. Not 'my' God, but the One and Only True God. I want to run after him as desperately as I want my next breath.

When everything is stripped away and the superficial things of this life are gone, God becomes clearer and more desired, more necessary for life.

This year I will not strive, this year I will stay in pursuit of the One who pursues me. This year I will learn the art of 'being', and hopefully by the end of this year I will find myself closer to my Creator; living life to the fullest, and blessing every person who crosses my path because I've been with the One who holds my every breath!

Mummy you're stupid!!

2009-11-11T21:49:00.008+11:00

"Mummy you're stupid", My youngest shouted, cowering under the kitchen table defiant and stubborn. She knew she had just crossed the line, but still she was determined that this altercation would be to her advantage.

It was that time of night that all parents know and love - happy hour!! I was trying to cook dinner in a hot kitchen, with a grumpy 4 year old lurking around the bench asking for everything. She wanted food and not the kind I was cooking! It had to be a 'cheese sandwich', not the chicken and veges I was offering. The debate continued to escalate until she decided she would start playing with the glass jar the chicken sauce was in.

After several warnings to put the glass back on the bench and no corresponding obedience, a quick smack on the hand was administered. Instantly the drama queen arose, and she stumbled to the floor crying and hysterically holding her hand like the sky had fallen upon her.

Her best way to express herself at this point....'Mummy you're stupid!!" And knowing she had crossed that line she ran underneath the kitchen table.

I dived under the table to pull her out and administer some 'love', at which she protested that she could in fact get herself out. We then went for a walk to mummy & daddy's room for a chat. Now being four there hasn't been a lot of reasoning up to this point, you can't reason very well with a young toddler, but she is getting older and understanding the 'why' now.

I started to talk to her about what she said and how that might make her feel if someone called her 'stupid'. As soon as I asked her that she burst into tears, and told me that a boy from her kinder today had called her 'stupid'! This particular boy seems to really rattle her, cause she's always talking about how naughty he was at kinder. But I've never seen her so upset over something someone said to her.

It was quite a 'moment' for me and her as she really understood the impact of her words, and the impact nasty words had on her. We talked some more and then she said sorry and gave me a big hug. It was one of those turning points I guess you have as a parent that stay etched in your mind.

As I thought about it tonight I realised that I had no idea she had those words thrown at her today. She never told me before the drama. But the words used against her today were like a sharp knife that wounded her, and when something didn't go right for her, she took that hurt and threw that same knife at me.

How many times have we been hurting because someone hurtled an unfair accusation, or bitter words at us; and we in our hurt have in turn taken it out on someone we love? I guess if there's stuff really bothering you on the inside then it's going to have to come out.

Words hurt, the Bible says if we can bridle our tongue then we would be perfect. We have to realise the impact of our words hold the power of life and death. We also need to remember that sometimes there's more going on in peoples lives than on the surface, and if someones reacting badly it's most likely because they're hurting.

Lessons I learnt tonight: - Show Grace. Find out what's really going on underneath the drama. Look your children in the eye and really listen. Show love and forgiveness!

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV)

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. James 1:26 (NIV)

Fresh breath or verbal diarrhoea?

2009-11-06T22:51:00.007+11:00

My daughter got an award from school the other day for 'Persisting in sorting out a disagreement!' Not the 'standard' award title, but nonetheless still an award!

I was intrigued to know how, why and what happened, for her to receive such a prestigious award in front of the whole school! It seems that she came to the aid of a girl in her class who was having a drama with some other girls in her class, and helped them to sort out their disagreement.

I was chuffed to think my daughter had inadvertently become a 'peacemaker', and envisaged myself standing proudly in some futuristic crowd whilst she received the Nobel Peace Prize!

The past few weeks I've been in some interesting social circles, where I've been an observer of how people deal with other people in the workplace, the church, and general social situations.

I guess until just recently I've never really been in so many different circles as I am right now, but it's been both interesting and alarming to watch and interact with how people treat each other.

A word spoken softly about another sister or brother, about how they don't do this, and do do that. Basically a lot of hot air delivered to pull down the other person. I know I'm not blameless in this either, it's easy to spew verbal diarrhoea so easily when someone annoys us, and we feel the need to vent.

But I have to ask, What would Jesus do? I know you've heard it, read it, worn the arm band, chewed the gum; but I know the words that leave our mouth break His heart when we use those same lips to offer Him praise.

If we as Christ-ones call ourselves such, can we honestly bare His name if we so carnally kill a sister or a brother with our words? When Jesus came to earth He said to the disciples, A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. (John 13:34)

He didn't have a stutter in that last verse, He was saying twice - LOVE ONE ANOTHER!! Earlier, two of the disciples who were brothers, James & John, came to Jesus and asked if when they went to heaven they could sit each side of Jesus on His throne! When that information got around the other disciples they all had a bit to say amongst themselves and it wasn't pretty!

It seems that in the best of social settings, wherever there are human beings present christian or non-christian; there will be unkind words spoken. Sometimes we are painfully human. I guess the challenge is whether we can rise above those words and counter them with words of positivity.

I wonder if when someone rattled our cage, if we chose to speak positively about them instead of how we really feel, if that would change the atmosphere? If we determined in our hearts to really love the people we work with, live with, play with, how that would change our worlds?

I wonder if the world saw us as Christ-ones really loving each other, whether they would actually take more notice of what we have to say?

It's easy to be unkind. Human to be negative. But just like Jesus to really Love!

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. (John 13:34)

Burn the bra!!

2009-10-26T22:40:00.004+11:00

Yes I know! It's been nearly ten days since I did a post. I know life is not meant to be this crazy, and yes I'm ready to stop and just 'be' for a while!

I was talking to my in-laws on the weekend. They have retired and are loving it. They have joined the grey nomad population and go wherever the breeze takes them. Where they are staying at the moment is in the hills, and the way they described it just made me want to pack up my stuff, sell everything, burn my bra and grow wild daisies in my hair!

Apparently the sound of birds drowns out the silence, there is a trickling stream that isn't full of 'environmental' plastic, all you can see is trees of the green variety, no concrete in sight. Their days are filled with walks, and good food and the company of kind-hearted strangers they meet along the way.

Sounds a little like heaven on earth maybe. Oh to be retired you say!

I was listening to the book of Ecclesiastes the other morning on my way to work. For anyone who's read Ecclesiastes you would know that it's a bit of a depressing book. It was written by King Solomon, the richest, wisest man who ever lived. His mission was to find out what was the meaning of life! What brought man the most pleasure and how we could get the most out of our years!

His conclusion: 'Life is a all vanity and grasping for the wind!' Basically we came from dust and it's there that we will return! One version I read basically said that all the work we toil at is meaningless! This was not overly inspiring as I began my day of work.

But as I listened further and got a grasp of what King Solomon was saying, His whole point was that, our life here is meaningless, we can't take it with us when we die. The only thing that counts is our relationship with our Creator! We can work hard, store up riches and houses and everything we could ever want; but if we don't know God, and I really mean KNOW Him - it is all vanity, and meaningless nothing, and trying to grasp the wind.

So I may be craving a little tranquility and peace, and what the world calls 'freedom'. But true freedom can only come from knowing Christ, and no amount of bra-burning or hard work on my part will gain that.

Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I may have Christ. (Philippians 3:8)

This Power we hold.....

2009-10-17T09:37:00.011+11:00

It is ironic that when you begin a quest (refer to previous posts), that like Frodo in 'The Lord of the Rings', the enemy soon finds out that you have begun your journey and rushes to thwart your efforts.

If you have seen 'The Lord of the Rings' you will remember that Frodo is entrusted with a ring so powerful that at every turn he and his companions are chased by dark spirits as they rush to take the ring to its destination.

A couple of weeks ago I began a quest to really dig in deep and know God more, to spend as much time as I could in His presence and just really seek Him in a way I haven't before. When I began this journey some of you were compelled to join me, with a desire to really press in and be accountable to each other.

This past week I have been sick, call it a gastro bug or whatever, but it has rendered me useless to bed most of the week. It was really only this morning that I woke up and realised beginning a quest to seek God probably painted a big target on my forehead!

The enemy of my soul doesn't want me to reach my goal, he doesn't want me to have time with my God, he doesn't want me to live in health, to be available for my family, or to even enjoy my journey. While I'm being a 'nice' christian then he will leave me alone, I'm hurting no-one. But the minute I begin to rise up and seek God and good things begin happening within me, I change, which in turn causes others to change which in turn can change a world! And that gets his attention!

You see Frodo in 'Lord of the Rings' was living a nice quiet life in a little country village. He was no threat to anyone, and so his life was unchallenged and safe. But when he came into possession of something that held great power, immediately his life came under threat!

How about you, have you come under attack as you've begun your quest to know Almighty God more? Have you just realised that the past couple of weeks things have happened around you that suggest you might have a target painted on you?

I'm not wanting to highlight the enemy at all; but I think even as Christians sometimes we downplay the attacks of the enemy as just circumstances. The whole point of having an enemy is that you have to fight!

I came to realise this a couple of days ago as I lay in bed, after talking to my mother about doctors and she reminded me that the best doctor was Jesus and healing was a much better option then going down the road of doctors and tests etc. As I lay in bed thinking about this I began to speak to my body, and command it to be healed in the Name of Jesus. I then made myself get out of bed and continued to speak to my body as I put on a load of washing. Ever since then I have been greatly improved.

I have decided that I want to do things God's way, not the worlds way. Therefore I need to take up my armour and continue my quest prepared and ready to fight. Knowing the God of the universe is as simple as just coming to him and talking to him, but walking into the realm of heaven also captures the attention of the enemy.

Anything worth fighting for will mean a lot of effort on my part, but the end goal of knowing Jesus so much greater really rates as ..... priceless!

Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual [hosts] of wickedness in the heavenly [places].

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Ephesians 6:11-13(NKJV)

True beauty?

2009-10-10T18:04:00.008+11:00

The room was full of colours, sequins, frills, a flurry of all different outfits and dresses. Noise filled the air with laughter, chatter, and gasps of 'how lovely you look!' Some were loud and confident as they breezed into the room, others quietly walked in almost hoping to be unnoticed but also glancing to see if anyone thought they were beautiful.

The challenge had been set, and as over a hundred excited people descended into the reception centre, only they knew what time, effort and even pain they had each gone through to look like this tonight.

This was a gathering of women. A celebration of all things inherent of the female species; beautiful clothes, hair and makeup, not to mention the air filled with a concoction of sweet smelling perfume.

To look at this array of beauty was to look at everything right with the world, this was womanhood at its best!

As a seeker in the quest to know God more, I thought about everything my eyes saw last night. It was a view of beauty, but yet the Word tells me that God doesn't even look at things the way we do. I have no idea what was going on in the hearts and minds of all the beautiful women I saw last night. But God did. And He looks past all that we see and looks at our heart. -

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

We can look at some people around us or on television and think they have it all together because they are beautiful to look at, but inside themselves it could be a totally different story. Only God knows what goes on deep inside.

May I suggest that as we press on to know the Lover of our soul, without even trying we become more beautiful. Because ultimately true beauty must come from deep inside of us and true beauty can only come from knowing and running after our most beautiful God.

When a lover of God decides to pursue Him more, something begins to shift; the stench of the world begins to fade, the striving of self falls away, and the humbleness of being broken creates a beautiful fragrance.

Nothing in this entire universe could make us more beautiful than time spent with our Creator. He infuses us with beauty, and causes our life to shine like a beacon of hope and refuge for a tired and empty world.

Beautiful!

To know Christ

2009-10-07T21:12:00.010+11:00

That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Philippians 3:10,11

I have begun my quest to Know Christ more, please read my previous post (Are you ready to take a climb?) if you feel slightly compelled to move forward in your relationship with God.

The above verse was the 1st verse that came into my mind as I decided a revolution was in order. This verse has always brought about mixed emotions. I love the first part about knowing Christ, but being in fellowship with His sufferings is not what I'd call a nice picnic in the park! Neither does 'being conformed to His death'!

So if I'm to really know Christ, does this mean that I can't know Him without a lot of pain and suffering? We've all heard the stories about the early church and how most of the apostles and disciples were murdered for the cause of Christ. That doesn't really ring my comfort bell!

But so what if it does. Wouldn't the privilege of knowing God himself as well as He knows me, be so life changing and incredible that a little pain wouldn't even factor?

Below I've put an excerpt from a sermon by Charles Spurgeon, who preached this in 1864. I apologise for it's length, but it was so good I couldn't chop it!

It is only the regenerated and saved man who can feel the desire, "That I may know him." Are you astonished that a saved man should have such a desire as this? A moment's reflection will remove your astonishment. Imagine for a moment that you are living in the age of the Roman emperors. You have been captured by Roman soldiers and dragged from your native country; you have been sold for a slave, stripped, whipped, branded, imprisoned, and treated with shameful cruelty. At last yon are appointed to die in the amphitheatre, to make holiday for a tyrant. The populace assemble with delight. There they are, tens of thousands of them, gazing down from the living sides of the capacious Colosseum. You stand alone, and naked, armed only with a single dagger—a poor defense against gigantic beasts. A ponderous door is drawn up by machinery, and forth there rushes the monarch of the forest—a huge lion; you must slay him or be torn to pieces. You are absolutely certain that the conflict is too stern for you, and that the sure result must and will be that those terrible teeth will grind your bones and drip with your blood. You tremble; your joints are loosed; you are paralyzed with fear, like the timid deer when the lion has dashed it to the ground. But what is this? O wonder of mercy!—a deliverer appears. A great unknown leaps from among the gazing multitude, and confronts the savage monster. He quails not at the roaring of the devourer, but dashes upon him with terrible fury, till, like a whipped cur, the lion slinks towards his den, dragging himself along in pain and fear. The hero lifts you up, smiles into your bloodless face, whispers comfort in your ear, and bids you be of good courage, for you are free. Do you not think that there would arise at once in your heart a desire to know your deliverer? As the guards conducted you into the open street, and you breathed the cool, fresh air, would not the first question be, "Who was my deliverer, that I may fall at his feet and bless him?" You are not, however, informed, but instead of it you are gently led away to a noble mansion house, where your many wounds are washed and healed with salve of rarest power. You are clothed in sumptuous apparel; you are made to sit down at a feast; you eat and are satisfied; you rest upon the softest down. The next morning you are attended by servants who guard you from evil and minister to your good. Day after day, week after week, your wants are supplied. You live like a courtier. There is nothing that you can ask which you do not receive. I am sure that your curiosity would grow more and more intense till it would ripen into an insatiable craving. You would scarcely neglect an opportunity of asking the servants, "Tell me, who does all this, who is my noble benefactor, for I must know him?" "Well, but" they would say, "is it not enough for you that you are delivered from the lion?" "Nay," say you, "it is for that very reason that I pant to know him." "Your wants are richly supplied—why are yon vexed by curiosity as to the hand which reaches you the boon? If your garment is worn out, there is another. Long before hunger oppresses you, the table is well loaded. What more do you want?" But your reply is, "It is because I have no wants, that, therefore, my soul longs and yearns even to hungering and to thirsting, that I may know my generous loving friend." Suppose that as you wake up one morning, you find lying up on your pillow a precious love-token from your unknown friend, a ring sparkling with jewels and engraved with a tender inscription, a bouquet of flowers bound about with a love-motto! Your curiosity now knows no bounds. But you are informed that this wondrous being has not only done for you what you have seen, but a thousand deeds of love which you did not see, which were higher and greater still as proofs of his affection. You are told that he was wounded, and imprisoned, and scourged for your sake, for he had a love to yon so great, that death itself could not overcome it: you are informed that he is every moment occupied in your interests, because he has sworn by himself that where he is there you shall be; his honors you shall share, and of his happiness you shall be the crown. Why, methinks you would say, "Tell me, men and women, any of you who know him, tell me who he is and what he is;" and if they said, "But it is enough for you to know that he loves you, and to have daily proofs of his goodness," you would say, "No, these love-tokens increase my thirst. If ye see him, tell him I am sick of love. The flagons which he sends me, and the love-tokens which he gives me, they stay me for awhile with the assurance of his affection but they only impel me onward with the more unconquerable desire that I may know him. I must know him; I cannot live without knowing him. His goodness makes me thirst, and pant, and faint, and even die, that I may know him."

Now if you are still with me; doesn't that make you just want to know this God so much more? He lavished His love on me while I was still a sinner. I think to be honest, I haven't even touched the edge of my God. And I suggest, that maybe if I really start to go deeper I will never be the same, I will be changed forever.

I ask you Lord to draw me in like never before, nag me until I surrender, convict my heart to Your Presence, and immerse me in You. I'm sick of me, ready for change, scared of where You might take me but terrified of staying the same. I'm Yours!

Are you ready to take a climb?

2009-10-06T22:09:00.005+11:00

Okay so i just read my last blog and realized its been way over a week since I last posted, in fact it could be 2 weeks... shocking!!

I have no excuse or reason except that I've been a little busy, work, school holidays and a recent fight with a tummy bug (the bug fought well, but I ultimately overcame!)

So I was wondering what I would like to write about tonight and was thinking about what has been going round in my ever busy little head. There's always lots to entertain myself with, but the thing that probably urks me the most and is always sitting in my mind, is the lack of time I spend with God!

It's not for lack of wanting to or because there's some deep, dark sin in my life and I can't face Him, it comes down to a daily dose of modern-itis.

I often wonder if a hundred years ago people found it easier to have quality time with God, uninterrupted and what my mum always called a 'Quiet time'. I remember reading Susannah Wesley's book (mother of John & Charles Wesley), and how she used to put her apron over her head to have 'time with God', and her children knew that if the apron was over her head she was not to be disturbed.

Sure I drive to work with my IPhone playing worship music or reading the Word of God back to me, I use my travel time to talk to God, and I try to have moments through my day where I talk to God. But it's all full of distraction. I might be listening to the Word while I drive, but my mind can be off slapping that driver who just cut me off.

I find my moments with God are interrupted by noise, people, or my over-active mind. I long for quiet, for peace, for stillness and 'time' with my Creator.

I crave intimacy with the One who loves me more than anyone else. I hear the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit call me through the portholes of my day, calling me to a moment with Him. And I watch myself sigh, and run back to what I was doing.

Just writing what floats around in my mind somehow inspires me to press on, try harder, dig deeper.

I read the parable about the Ten Virgins in Matthew 25, and I want to be ready, I want to be so full of God that I know Him as He knows me. But I wrestle with juggling the 'now' life with the 'eternal' one.

I was thinking today as I drove to work, that all of this striving to earn money, planning for the future, building a house, helping our kids to get good grades to get good jobs, is all just futile. Yes it will get us a great life here on earth, but ultimately the only thing that matters is Eternity. If I don't know God and help my kids know God, then all my 'striving' to work and buy 'stuff' will ultimately be for nothing!

Tonight, I would like to begin a quest. A quest to know God more. He knows me! Could I begin a journey to know Him as well as He knows me?

Instantly life and work, and busy-ness scream at me, but I have to rise above all that. My relationship with Almighty God is at stake.

I wonder if anyone else would be brave enough to join me on my quest. It will take time, honesty, and courage. But the ultimate prize will be one of unequaled price. I will try to post my journey, and if you would join me I would love to hear your journey as well! Let's get some accountability!

Will you come?

The incurable creative disease...

2009-09-20T22:06:00.008+10:00

Several times this weekend I have looked at my blog and toyed with the idea of a new post. I try to write at least once a week. But when I'm not feeling as positive as I would like, I reject the idea of writing about something.

I have realised this is not good. Because being a writer is about being honest and not being afraid to lay your self down on paper (or the world wide web in this case)! So I bare my heart, the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Being a creative person can be awesome, but it can also be very challenging. For me I constantly fight with myself between being true to the creativity inside of me or just letting it go and living an ordinary life. But then i find the creativity inside of me fights to rise to the surface and I am frustrated and unfulfilled.

From my view creativity is a driving and relentless force. It pushes you to accept nothing but the complete exposure of its form. The creative swell begs to be splashed across whatever genre it finds itself in and refuses to be quenched with one performance.

The DNA of creativity comes from Almighty God, who lavishly set the stage for it when he created the world. He spared no expense, worried none about over-indulgence, but explicitly displayed his imagination everywhere. Who else could have thought of an array of colours so intense, or painted the night sky with sparkling stars to make even the darkness beautiful.

Our God is a creative God, and he made us to do the same.

So when I push down the creativity inside of me because I feel -'not good enough, not pretty enough, too old, too messed up etc'; I'm keeping myself small and holding down the creativity God lavished upon me.

I say all this to challenge you, but mainly myself to live a life greater. To push past 'self' boundaries that stop me from living better. God once said to me that I'm living the life now that I have chosen. That really messed with me, because I've let a whole lot of opportunity pass because of fears and insecurities.

I think God being a creative God wants to express His amazing creativity through us. Why shouldn't a 'Christ-one' be the most creative, talented, God-honouring person on the planet. We sell ourselves short, and make decisions that take us down lesser paths, but God wants to see us rise to be our best and to display His best.

When you're in your twenties, you feel unstoppable and like the world is your oyster. I always thought that somewhere up the road I would live my dream of earning a living through some form of creativity. But then the years go by, you have a few kids and find that all of sudden you're in your late thirties. Call it what you like, but I have realised I have potentially lived half my life(unless I'm going to go on and live till 100). And most of that time has been sorting myself out. So what am I going to do with the next half? Will I keep living and despair that I never achieved what I wanted to, or will I go out and use my life to display the amazing creativity of God?

The heavens tell of the glory of God. The skies display his marvelous craftsmanship. Psalm 19:1(NLT)

Life is a whirlwind...

2009-09-11T18:13:00.007+10:00

It's Friday!!! Woo hoo, for all of you who have worked a full week - hats off to you!

This week I started another job (because I had nothing better to do!!) So I'm now working 2 jobs totalling 5 days a week.

Craziness! You might say. Some dimwitted humour on behalf of the cosmic powers that be! You may jest?

Working full-time in any 21st century humans week, is fast becoming attempted suicide. Our culturally-sensitive, forward-thinking modernists applaud the worker who will work part-time to have that 'work/life' balance.

But then throw into our complicated mix a working mother, and all the feministos and culturally-aware homo-sapiens gasp or applaud. Confusion reigns when the working mother is discussed.

There are the left-wing who strongly argue - "Mothers must be in the home and that's the best place they can be for their children while they grow!"

And then the opposite party who believe - "Mothers need a sense of self and need 'me' time to further their career and not get lost in 'motherhood'!"

Somewhere in the middle there is a balance.

My entire growing up years, my Mum was in the home. She was always there to get us off to school, and always waiting when we came home. She was there when we were sick, and we always had a meal cooked at dinner time. I didn't know what it was like to have two working parents.

But times have changed, and what was a choice years ago may not be a choice today. The cost of living continues to rise, and if you even want to consider doing anything extra in your budget, like build a house, you need extra income.

For Mums like me it's a constant struggle between 'mother-guilt' and being available for my kids, and the 'needs' that don't fit into the budget, that beg my attention.

That is where my husband and I stand together and work at our family life together. We both work outside the home, but we both work inside the home too. Our juggling act is a unified approach and if we didn't have constant communication and adjusting, it would only bring a lot of grumpiness into our home.

Life is a whirlwind, but I'm praying that as we 'do' life and throw little pearls of wisdom into our kids hearts along the way, that the end result will be that we have raised really great, Godly kids.

You, like me might struggle with the 'guilt' that comes from trying to be 'all things to all people'. But God says this - "For even if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. 1 John 3:20 (NKJV)

;-)