FOSTER FAMILY TALK

Adoption Date Set!!

2011-05-27T09:35:00.000-05:00

Well, good news! We have had our foster daughter since 2005 and we were just notified of her final adoption date! It will be in July, which is later than we were hoping for, but never-the-less it is finally a date!

Things have settled down quite a bit in our family now. A. feels like one of my own children to me now and so much of the stress of those earlier years have greatly diminished. It has been a little over one year now since she has seen her biological mom, and she brings that to my attention fairly often. My heart does go out to her as I can see how much it hurts her to not be able to hug and talk with her mom.

We have been told that it is the law that between termination of parental rights and adoption there is to be NO contact between child and mother (or father). So, now she has set her sites on the day she will turn 18 and has informed us that she will be heading for her mom's place on that very day. I just swallow my hurt and my pride and try to tell her that I understand. I know she loves us and I am assuming that she will come back often to visit us. Those are going to be some tough times for me and my husband.

But hey, this post started out on a good note and I didn't mean to dwell on depressive thoughts. I love A. and we have a few more years till she turns 18. I need to focus on making sure A. is ready to go back to her mom emotionally, thinking with her head and not just with her heart. She is such a strong girl, I think she is going to be ok. Maybe the bigger question is - will we?

Keep Looking Up!

Diane

"By George, I Think I've Got It!"

2011-03-03T12:53:00.001-06:00

Time is flying by and yet at the same time it seems to take so long to get from point A to point B. You know what I mean? Our family is now going through the process of adopting A. Both of her siblings have already been adopted by individual families. Only A. is left. It has been a bit more complicated due to her age, but things are moving forward, slowly. We hope to have the adoption finalized by summer.

In past posts, I have written a lot about my personal struggles with A. I have learned a lot from these past 5 years and I think I can finally say"by George, I think I've got it!" The proverbial light bulb seems to be shining over my head at the moment as I realize that I think I finally understand our foster daughter a little better.

A. does not come from a "normal" background as I have, so her reality and the way she thinks and processes everything is very different from the way I do. In fact, most foster children and foster families will experience this. I have always known that, but I feel like it is finally sinking in and becoming something that I understand a little better than I did in the beginning. A. does not always act out just to be difficult. She just doesn't see things the same way I do. That is acceptable, though maybe a bit annoying at times. *: ) She comes from a family that did not have any rules or parameters set in place for her safety, nor any routine by which she could personally feel that each day was manageable. She just lived day to day and it was up to her to choose what to do each day.

So, I have come to understand that when she came into our home and learned that we had rules and chores and routines, she just could not grasp that this was a normal way to live and she felt that we were taking away her right to choose for herself what she thought was best for her. So, she fought each and every rule, chore, and routine, with every bit of frustration and anger that she could call up from wherever it was she kept it buried during her happy moments. She has come a long way.

She now understands rules better, that they are in place to help keep her safe. She realizes that she is part of our family now and that it takes a whole family to work together to keep a household running smoothly and cleanly. She still hates the bedtime routine, she feels like she should be able to stay up as late as she wants, but she doesn't fight it too much anymore.

So, all in all, things have become smoother within our family. I know for certain that there are rough times ahead, and I shudder when I let my mind wander down the path of "the worst scenarios", but we have been through a lot and I expect that we will just continue to handle whatever comes up with love and reassurance, one day at a time.

Keep Looking Up!

Diane

Adoption home study interview

2010-09-14T10:31:00.002-05:00

Wednesday, September 8, 2010 - The Red Thread: An Adoptive Family Forum by Andrea Poe

EASTON, Md. — Home study. Those two words can send fear into the hearts of prospective parents like no others.

Basically, a home study involves a protracted process whereby a social worker looks at every facet of your life, evaluating everything from the strength of your marriage to the stability of your job in an effort to determine if you will be a fit parent.

Of course, this makes great sense. In fact, when I tell people about adoption home studies, many of them say they wish all parents, had to go through this process prior to getting pregnant.

However, intellectually appreciating the usefulness does nothing to diminish the terror when you’re faced with the home study yourself. The process all but guarantees sleepless nights. Until it is concluded you will live in fear that somehow the social worker will deem you unfit to parent.

Yes, there is much paper to gather and appointments to be commit to, but that’s relatively easy to prepare for one you get your mind around the fact that it’ll be a lot of work. Most home studies will include the same basics:

1) Interviews with you and your spouse
2) A home visit by a social worker
3) Health statements from your doctors
4) Income information
5) Background checks from local, state and federal agencies
6) An autobiographical statement (aka your life story)
7) Personal and professional references
8) The home study report (whereby the social workers writes up his or her assessments and conclusions on everything from the neighborhood you live in to your religious upbringing.)

And, alas, number eight is the one of that can strike terror because it is the most subjective. The social worker’s report will depend on many things and will be developed after he or she spends time with you.

This week, my column will focus on a major component of the home study, the interview process. Yes, it’s a process. Most social workers require a couple of in-office interviews, solo and, if married, together. Then, there are the in-home interviews, where the social worker comes to your house interact with you in your own environment.

While every interview is important, the first is the most important. The old adage that you never get a second chance to make a good first impression is true. And, believe me, no matter how prepared you are, you will feel the full weight of that when you embark on your first round of interviews.

When my husband Scott and I first went to our social workers office, she talked to us briefly together and then sent me out to the waiting room so she could do a one-on-one with Scott.

I sat in the lobby under glaring fluorescent light mindlessly flipping through outdated AAA magazines that had been strewn about a forlorn coffee table. All I could think while Scott was doing his solo interview was how he’d better not blow it. Would he suddenly reveal something even I don’t know about him that will lead to the social worked rejecting us as potential parents? What if he blurts out how I used to cut high school to smoke behind the deli or how he once let our Irish Setter Fitzgerald wander onto the West Side Highway and get hit by a cab?

When Scott emerged from her office smiling, my relief was momentary. The social worker waved me in and it was my turn to mess this up. Would I accidentally contradict something he said? What if she asked me a question about Scott’s family that I didn’t know? Would I look like a disinterested wife?

None of that happened, of course. But her questions did make me think in ways I hadn’t before. She asked about my disciplining style. How would I know? I hadn’t had children before. What did I think about education? That was an cinch until she asked which school this not-yet-born child would go to. How many community parks are there in my neighborhood? How would I integrate our family and friends into our lives since most of them didn’t live near us? These weren’t trick questions; they were asked with the intention to get me thinking, which they did.

After my solo interview, the social worker called Scott back in. The only ting worse in my mind than two solo interviews was a joint interview. Would I talk over him and look like some kind of domineering bully? Would he cut me off like he’s apt to do, giving the impression we were a bickering couple, which we are? During the interview Scott reached for my hand, trying to hold it. What in the world was he doing, laying it on so thick? I pulled my hand away. He glared at me. I glared back. We both smiled at her. And so it went.

In the end, the joint interview went by in a blur. I know I was sweating. I know I smiled a lot and nodded like a bobble head. Somehow, despite all our awkwardness and nerves, our social worker got it. We conveyed what we needed to convey: we wanted to be parents very badly and we would do whatever it took to become the best we could be.

And that’s precisely the point of these interviews. The social worker isn’t in search of the world’s greatest parents. He or she is there to uncover who you are, to get to know you and ultimately prepare you for having children.

So, yes, you’d be wise to embrace the process, but that doesn’t mean you won’t also be embracing some sleepless nights.

Link To Original Article

Keep Looking Up!
Diane

Grandparents are trying to get custody of child found confined in attic

2010-08-24T22:48:00.004-05:00

Local & State News

Friday, Aug. 20, 2010

By JOE LAMBE

The Kansas City Star

The 6-year-old boy found starving in a filthy De Soto attic is recovering, and his grandparents are trying to get custody, their attorney said Friday.

The boy was found this week after the maternal grandparents asked the Johnson County Sheriff’s Office to check on his welfare.

They had not seen him in about four months and were concerned, said attorney Sarah Swain.

The boy, who has Down syndrome, had always been small, but the grandparents did not know why or how things got so bad that he was put in an attic.

“The family has no idea of what brought this on,” Swain said. “They want to know.”

Rachel L. Perez, 26, had her first court appearance Thursday on charges of child abuse and child endangerment. She is also the mother of two girls, ages 8 and 5, and is pregnant with another child, the attorney said.

Swain said the grandparents were seeking custody of the children, and a court hearing was scheduled for October.

For now, all the children are in state care and Perez is in jail.

Deputies found the boy Tuesday after they twice went to the duplex in the 8200 block of Center Drive. The first time, the mother told them the boy was not there, and they arrested her on an outstanding warrant.

They went back about six hours later at the request of the grandparents and found the boy confined in the attic.

He is now recovering at Children’s Mercy Hospital.

Click here to view original article

Keep Looking Up!
Diane

James And Anne Cardona: Morbidly Obese Children Removed From Filthy Home

2010-08-23T22:26:00.004-05:00

Marietta, Georgia

A domestic dispute between two brothers brought police to the home of James and Anne Cardona on Monday, August 16, 2010. Authorities were not prepared for what they found.

The Cardona’s, along with their two young daughters, were living in filth and squalor. The stench reached all the way to the street.

Both girls were morbidly obese and in bad health. James and Anne Cardona were arrested and face ‘felony second-degree child cruelty charges along with misdemeanor charges of contributing to the deprivation of a minor’.

James And Anne Cardona: Morbidly Obese Children Removed From Filthy Home (Video)

James Cardona, 31, and Anne Cardona,35, are the parent’s of a five year old girl weighing 159 pounds and a four year old daughter weighing 89 pounds. Both children are classified as morbidly obese and have a variety of health issues.

Officers found the inside of the home filthy, covered in roaches, ‘gigantic’ spiders, cobwebs and fleas. The home is also covered in black mold.

The five year old cannot stand or sit without help, and can only walk about 10 feet before wheezing and losing her breath. The four year old was found on a bare mattress, in a urine soaked diaper—clinging to her bottle. Both girls have communication problems.

According to arrest warrants, the 5-year-old had “head lice large enough to see while standing above the child,” her teeth were “rotting out,” her gums were swollen and she was covered in spider and flea bites.

“She is extremely obese and cannot walk 10 feet without becoming out of breath and wheezing,” according to the warrants. “She cannot sit down without assistance, or stand up.”

The 4-year-old “was found lying on a stained mattress with no bedding, wearing only a urine-soaked diaper,” the warrants state. “The bottom of her feet were black from dirt, and she is also covered in insect bites … Neither child is enrolled in school.”

The children are now in state protective custody and Anne and James Cardona were released on bond. Ms. Cardona was re-arrested Thursday night after it was learned she had mislead the court earlier this week.

Seems Anne Cardona told the court she had to care for her ailing, bedridden mother in the home. Police had already removed her mother, covered in serious bed sores and taken her to a hospital, where she remains.

Cobb County Animal Control is also involved in this tragic case of abuse. While saying there were no signs of animal abuse, they did remove five dogs, two cats, nine birds and two turtles from the disgusting home. All 18 creatures were living inside the house.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand parent’s allowing their children to become morbidly obese. The health problems alone are inviting tragic consequences. Where were the neighbors, other family, friends?

As for letting them live with lice, bug bites, mold and other atrocities, there is no excuse. None. I don’t give a flying fig how small a home might be, or what problems it might have, it simply doesn’t take that much energy or time to pick things up, do the dishes and take a broom to the floor. Even people with chronic health issues manage to not live in squalor. It’s pure laziness, allegedly brought on by depression. I repeat, there is no excuse, no reason, for anyone to live this way or allow their children to be raised in filth.

If you can’t be bothered with taking proper care of your children, at least love them enough to let them go. There’s so many people out there longing for a family to love and care for—give your children a chance!

If you choose to live with fleas and roaches and filth, so be it, but it’s pretty damn selfish to force your disgusting and degrading lifestyle on innocent children that have no voice in how they are treated.

I have no idea what the penalty is for something like this, but if James and Anne Cardona are found guilty of child abuse / neglect, I think they need far more than a slap on the wrist and parenting classes.

link to original article and video By JoAnne Thomas

This type of story is always hard to listen to, but I think it is important that people learn what is going on right in their own neighborhoods. How many times have we noticed something a bit unusual going on but simply didn't want to get involved? I've said it before; we have to stand up for our children. They are helpless and without someone stepping in to intervene for them, many of them will face a life of filth and neglect and some will even die. Don't turn your back when you suspect abuse or neglect. I'm speaking to myself now also. We all need to find some hidden strength deep inside of us that we can make use of if necessary to help even one innocent child. Abuse is a cycle. If nobody stops it, it will continue on and on into several more generations. Just speaking out and letting a child know that you are there to help them in anyway you can and that you will not abandon them until every effort has been put forth to give them the opportunity to experience a normal childhood, may allow that child to find the strength to overcome his/her abuse or neglect. Just maybe that child will be able to grow up and have a healthy relationship or family of their own, putting a stop to their line of abuse. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done, but it will also be the most important and rewarding thing you have ever done. Reach out to a child today.

Keep Looking Up!

Diane

Six children removed from filthy, roach-infested home, Brooksville police say

2010-08-19T23:45:00.004-05:00

By Joel Anderson, Times Staff Writer

In Print: Wednesday, June 2, 2010

BROOKSVILLE — All six children had lice in their hair, some with infestations so bad they had rashes along their hairlines. Most of them had gone without a bath for days, if not weeks. Another had roach bites all over her back.

And the family's 6-month-old boy was drinking from a bottle "so dirty that it was black in color," the detective wrote in his report. Inside the bottle, a dead roach was floating around in liquid.

The couple, Timothy and Haley Covey of Brooksville, were both arrested April 30 on six counts of child neglect.

In Circuit Judge Stephen Rushing's courtroom Tuesday, the couple entered not guilty pleas to all of the charges.

Haley Covey, 28, appeared in court for her arraignment, where she asked for a reduction of her bail from $120,000 — $20,000 for each count.

Rushing granted the request, reducing her bail to $12,000 on the condition that she cooperate with the state Department of Children and Families and keep all of the children's doctor appointments.

Covey still was unable to make bail, and was returned to the county jail. Timothy Covey, 33, also remained behind bars in lieu of $25,000 bail.

According to the Brooksville police report, authorities were called to the Coveys' home in Morse's Meadow Mobile Home Park on the morning of April 30 in response to a report of abuse and neglect.

When they arrived at the home, detectives immediately noted that the home "was a clear danger to the children's health and well being."

The home smelled of "rotting food, cat urine and fecal matter" and was infested with roaches, according to the report.

"The odor was so severe that my gag reflex activated ... and I almost vomited," Detective Shawn Terry wrote.

Authorities offered a number of details from their search of the home: The house had no edible food or water; roaches — both dead and alive — were inside the refrigerator; human feces were on the floor and had apparently been walked through; the infant boy who was drinking from the bottle had a roach leg and other roach parts stuck to his eye.

Terry also noted that some of the children had already been removed from school for having lice.

Timothy Covey, whose occupation was listed as unknown, has twice been arrested in Hernando on domestic battery charges, but those were later dropped.

He was also taken to court in an eviction proceeding in 2006. That case was later dismissed.

Haley Covey has no prior criminal record. In her arrest report, she is listed as a "house mom."

Link To Original Article

From St. Petersburg Times

It is hard to imagine kids living in these types of situations. Unfortunately it is more common than any of us realize. May God watch over the little children and may He bless those of you who have reached out to help them by taking them into your homes. It is a difficult job, but when you think of where they came from it makes it all worth while.

Keep Looking Up!

Diane

Adoption in 6 - 9 months! (sigh!)

2010-08-12T18:04:00.001-05:00

I just learned that the adoption process for A. will take 6 to 9 months! We were so disappointed. Now that we know what we all want, we just want to hurry and make A. a legitimate part of our family.

Nothing much is new other than that. We are counting down the days till we can walk into the court house and come out with a new family member. It seems too far away.

I just wanted to post something so everyone wouldn't think I had abandoned this blog site. I'm pretty hit and miss with my posts these days but I think once school is back in full swing I will get more time to work on my sites.

Keep Looking up!
Diane

A Surprise For A. - I Miss Her!

2010-07-28T07:36:00.002-05:00

Things sure are quiet around here with A. at camp. I decided to completely clean and fix up her bedroom as a surprise for her when she comes home. So far it is detailed clean and rearranged and this morning I hope to get to a store and find a zebra stripe comforter for her bed. Knowing her, she will love having this as a surprise when she gets home. Its fun to think about. If only I infinite amounts of money I would love to hire someone to come in and paint a whole wall to look like a field with several zebras grazing in the tall grass. Maybe I can find a wall mural that is like wallpaper instead.

Anyway, I miss her and can't wait till she comes home.

I still find it amazing that talking to the right person has really helped me with how I look at A. She is truly my daughter now and there is no turning back. I can't wait for adoption day!

Keep Looking Up!

Diane

My Heart Melted - It Just Took The Right Person To Talk To!

2010-07-24T11:35:00.004-05:00

I find it amazing that for almost 5 years my family has struggled with our foster daughter's attitude and lying (probably most of all me). We have talked with numerous workers from our agency; case workers, counselors, case aides, casa workers - and not one of them ever was able to talk to me and say the things that I needed to hear. At the roughest moments of our relationship with A., nobody was saying to me anything that was making things any better. In fact, at times, I felt worse or, I felt more like making some decision that I realize now I would have greatly regretted.

As adoption became possible, A. began to act out more and more. We even got to the point where she wrote us a letter telling us that she wanted to move to a new family because she felt she was causing too much stress because of our differences. I let that fester inside of me for several days, until finally, one morning I woke up, went downstairs, and lashed out at A. for something she was doing (I honestly don't even remember what it was, it was so trivial!). I then went up to my bedroom and began to cry, hard. I got on the phone and called our case worker and read A.'s letter to her. Our case was in the middle of being transferred over to an adoption worker so the case worker referred me to the adoption worker.

Before I even got around to calling her, the adoption worker called me! I told her what was going on and what had been going on for the past 4 years with A. I knew as soon as she began to talk to me that this was finally someone who was able to put all of my worries and frustrations into perspective. Her voice and what she was saying to me soothed away much of my sadness and anger that had been building up inside of me for so long. She told me everything I already knew, but she had a way of putting it that made me actually believe it. She told me that everything I was saying to her sounded very normal for a 14 year old girl to be going through. Of course, there was an additional edge to everything because of her background, but all in all the adoption worker told me that she sounded like a child who was well adjusted into our home, who loved me and my husband, and who accepted our family as being her family. I was told that the letter A. wrote to us was all about A.'s need for reassurance that we loved her. She needed to hear that we did not want her to leave, that we wanted her to stay and be our daughter.

I don't know what exactly melted my heart, but during that conversation I committed to myself that I would hang up and immediately go to A. and give her a big hug (which she loves!) and tell her how much I love her and how much I don't want her to leave. As I was telling her those things, I could see the wheels spinning in her mind, trying to figure out if I was being honest with her. When I also told her that I wanted more than anything to adopt her and for her to be our daughter, she looked up at me for a moment, and in an almost surprised but relieved tone of voice she said "you do"? That was the moment I knew for absolute certain that she did love me and our family and that she did want to stay and be part of our family. I assured her that I was very serious and that I already looked at her as my daughter and that whatever problems we were going to go through in the future, we would just have to face head-on and that me and her "dad" would be right there working things out with her.

I have felt so much better since that day and I can tell that A. is more relaxed also. I will have to keep reassuring her for awhile, I am sure, of how much we want her to be our daughter, but we will do whatever we have to do to help her grow stronger emotionally so that not only can she begin to trust us to be her parents and to guide her through the next several years, but so that we can also hopefully begin to trust her more as she hopefully drops her defenses and doesn't feel like she has to lie to survive.

I don't know if all of that makes sense to everybody or not. Certainly if you have been through this type of situation you know what I am talking about. The most important piece of advice I want to convey to my readers is that you should not give up on your foster child. Try to see all of the things that she/he is doing as being a way of testing you, testing your commitment, testing your love. I know that some cases are much more difficult than what we have experienced, and some of you are probably reading this thinking "yea, right! This lady does not know my foster child!" And you are correct. I don't know your foster child. Some kids have been through such horrible abuse and neglect that it seems impossible to reach them. Some kids act out in very aggressive, even dangerous ways and you may not feel safe in your own home. Those are horrible situations to even think about and I am thankful that A's experience did not make her aggressive. But, even the kids who behave the worst need to know that somebody cares about them. Every child has a right to know that there is at least one person in this world who will always be willing to talk to them and support them and help them, and love them, no matter what they have done. Maybe you will have to let your child go to a treatment center or to a psychological center in order to get round the clock professional help. But you still need to do whatever it takes to let that child know you are there and that you love them and will help in any way you can.

If you are struggling, I hope that you are put in contact with someone soon who has the ability to melt your heart as mine was. Sometimes it just takes the right person to say what you already knew in order for you to be able to see it and believe it.

Keep Looking Up!
Diane

Is Your Foster Child Putting Up Emotional Walls?

2010-07-17T09:54:00.003-05:00

Well, we went through some rough moments over the past couple of weeks. A. is getting nervous about adoption and she misses her mom. She has been putting up some pretty hefty emotional walls between us and even went so far as to tell me she doesn't want to live here anymore. (sigh!) We talked and talked about everything and anything, and by the time we were finished, she seemed more confident about what she wanted for her life right now. We are going ahead with the adoption, (yay!), and she seems to feel very comfortable with that decision. The adoption worker says that it will probably be around 6 months before we can finalize the adoption. That seems like a long time, but I'm sure it will fly past quickly.

I have learned some important lessons about A. When she is pushing against us the hardest is when she needs us to reassure her the most. When she says she does not want to live with us, she wants us to say that we love her and that we want her to stay and be our daughter. Seems like common sense, right? I guess I had just become so deeply discouraged with her always pushing us away that I had lost sight of that. Ever since our talk, she has been sweet, friendly, loving and relaxed.

The moral of the story? Never give up. Even if your foster child seems to be pushing you away, realize that she may be in desperate need of knowing that you love her and that you DO want her to be your child (if adoption is the goal). Children need to know that you will love them no matter how they act. Boundaries and rules are very important in any home, but when a child pushes at the limits of those rules, it is more important than ever to reassure the child that you will always love them, no matter what they do; it is their behavior that you don't like very much, and you can work on that together.

Hope everyone has a good day today! Mine is starting off good. I have a renewed mindset and I am thinking positive as much as possible. I love my foster daughter and she loves both of her foster parents. Life is good!

Diane

Making Money Online - I Will Not Give Up! I Know It Is Possible.

2010-06-20T23:18:00.003-05:00

Well, things are pretty quiet around here at the moment. It is a little bit scary - kind of like the calm before the storm! Hopefully I turn out to be a horrible weather predictor and things stay nice and calm for a long time. We could use that around here.

I am going to go off topic here for this post. I have been trying to learn how to make money through affiliate marketing.

On my Foster Family Talk site you will notice that I have 3 scrolling feed banners. The one named Health And Lifestyle Talk is the site I am using to try my hand at selling someone's product. I have done everything this person has told me to do and I haven't made one cent in a month or maybe even two. Does anyone who may be reading this do affiliate marketing? Would you have any suggestions for me, maybe something I am doing wrong or could do better or should be doing and am not? Supposedly this product has been selling like hot cakes! I haven't seen that at all. I figure I must be doing something wrong!

I would love some tips from any of you who are successful at making money online. I am so tired of reading all about the offers of making $75 or $500 per hour (depending on hard you are willing to work!). I don't care if I make a lot of money. I just want to learn a way to supplement our income. I think writing is going to be my answer, but I'm not sure how yet. I have submitted a number of articles/poems to Bukisa.com where you get paid for so many views per article. I have made .18 so far in a couple of months. I'm not looking to make big money, but a bit more than .18 would be nice!

Don't hesitate to email me or leave me a comment if you have any suggestions. Please don't send me any offers of how to get rich quick! If email were paper mail, my whole living room would be filled with those types of ads. I believe in what I have been learning from the guy I am trying to sell a product for, but something just isn't working right for me.

I'll be anxiously waiting to read all of your comments and suggestions!

Diane

Someday . . . .

2010-06-15T10:40:00.002-05:00

My son and foster daughter just got back from a week at their sister's house in southern, Illinois. They had a great time, as always, and I can't wait to see their pictures.

My son came in first. I absolutely LOVE those first hugs after my kids have been away for awhile. It is nice to have a break, but it is nice to see them come home again. Next, A. came in and gave me a great big hug and kiss and told me that she missed us a lot. Then she counted down to an approximate time when we think adoption will be taking place and she smiled and reminded me that it was coming up and that she could not wait.
Then, later, she talked to me about how much she missed her mom. I went through a period of time, early on in this case, when I didn't think I would ever want A. to have a chance to be around her mom ever again because every time she was, there were problems with manipulations and mind games. But I am thinking differently about that now. Not that I have much choice in this matter. Mom has been terminated and that means she can not legally see her kids until they are 18. But I believe that it would be good for A. to have a supervised visit now and again with her mom so they can keep in touch with each other and they both could satisfy their need to know how each other is doing. We keep in contact with each of the siblings, but she needs to hear from her mom that she is doing ok.

Nothing is perfect. The courts did what was best for the children over all, but termination doesn't provide for the basic need of some children to know all they can about how their mom/dad is doing.

Perfection. Ahhh, if only we as human beings had the insight to create perfect solutions to all of the problems in the world. But, like I've said before, that is God's job. And I don't think we are going to see that perfection until Heaven. We will just have to do our best and continue to keep improving on the things that we can. I wish I could solve all of your problems as well as all of mine. But wishing isn't worth a hill of beans. My best advice for myself and for everybody is to just keep praying. Someday..........

Don't Throw The Baby Out With The Bath Water!

2010-06-08T11:23:00.006-05:00

Hello. I just wanted to take a minute and again thank those of you who have recently posted a few comments on my site. As I read some of the comments, I at first took them in a negative way. But now I am thankful that everyone is willing to make sure I know that there are two sides to foster care. I did already know that, but I also have been pretty wrapped up in just getting through the court dates, counseling for A., sibling visits, etc., and I have been pretty focused on only the one aspect of foster care, which is making sure A. does not have to face anymore abusive situations by being returned to her biological mom.

I want to assure you that I do realize that even after adoption there will be issues with A. still feeling like a foster child and not quite a true member of our family. When I write my posts about how much I hope that adoption will be a new beginning for all of us, I am not saying I believe everything will now be perfect. If you knew A., you would know that is not something that is possible! She is a beautiful girl and has a loving heart, but she also carries a lot of hurt and anger inside of her. We will have many struggles yet to come. But, once adoption is over, I am hoping that all of the extra people that we seem to have collected into our lives by getting involved in the foster care system, will start to back away and we can soon begin to work on once again strengthening our "family circle" without so many outsiders constantly involved.

We are not a foster family in the sense that we went through the classes and became licensed, we are considered a "relative foster home" because we are God parents to the two girls. We have known them since they were born, though not closely involved with their lives. That is the only reason we took them in and we do not intend to take in any more foster children. We have been tempted from time to time, especially with the idea that maybe we could foster a new born. But at our age I think we just need to focus on getting the kids we already have raised and ready to be adults.

It is hard to write a post when you are trying to explain a certain aspect of what you are going through, while and the same time also be able to convey that you do understand there will still be many problems. After all, those of you who write about the negative side of foster care ONLY write about the negative side. I know that you realize that there are GOOD foster homes out there and that there are plenty of child abuse cases where the kids have to be removed from their home. There are also horror stories that have happened.

Which ever side of the foster care system you have experienced is obviously what you are going to know the most about and therefore that will become the tone of your writings. I guess we all just need to take a deep breath and try to keep in mind that there are no perfect organizations. As far as people go, there are those whose hearts are in the right place and try to do what they can to help these abused children find good homes, and then there are those with ulterior motives in mind when they take kids from their homes. Should we get rid of the foster system because of the people whose motives are more harmful than good? Sure, that would help with the kids that are wrongfully removed from their homes and placed in even worse situations. But how would that affect the children who are truly abused and in desperate need of rescuing?

If there is an answer to that problem, I would like to hear it. If there is one thing I have learned in my 50 years of life, it is that there are evil people in this world who won't give a second thought about hurting your children, or you. We have dealt with our share of pain and nothing we tried to do to resolve our different issues made the slightest bit of difference in the cold hearts of those who seem to enjoy causing the pain. Don't misunderstand me, please! I believe that you have to face any problem head-on and if that means getting involved in trying to solve the problem from the root cause on up, then so be it. Many times people have been able to make a difference by speaking up and standing their ground.

But make sure that both sides of the problem are taken into consideration when trying to change a system. Is there a solution that will stop so many kids from unnecessarily being removed from their homes, while at the same time making sure that the truly abused children are rescued before it is too late? We want to be careful that we don't throw the baby out with the bath water!!!!

A Hole In Her Heart

2010-06-05T14:12:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in this whole business of trying to make A. feel as though she were truly a member of our family that I forget to consider how she is feeling. She is glad that the whole back and forth tug of war that she had in her heart between her mom and us is over (to a certain degree anyway). She talks about her excitement of being adopted and being able to once again feel the good feelings of belonging to a family, being a member of a family. If I let myself, I can get get carried away with the notion that once adoption is completed, our family can go back to the normal day to day living of a "normal" family, with the addition of a new member, of course. But as the days go by I have noticed that A. seems to be more and more unhappy.

A cloud of stress is slowly lifting from over my head as all of the court dates and visits are slowly grinding to a stop. It is at this point that I can more reasonably step back and look at the whole picture without so many of my own emotions getting in my way. What do I see from this new vantage point? I see a young girl who was the "mommy" when she lived at home with her real mom and sister. I see a young girl who was brutally abused by a very evil person (a previously registered sex-offender) and then forbidden to talk about it. I see this young girl survive this attack and even though it took a long time for her to gain the courage, she finally insisted that the authorities needed to know what had happened. I see a young girl who was removed from her mom's care, along with her sister, and who was forced to live with people other than her own family. This young girl has gone through all ranges of emotion that I would think was possible to go through. I see a young girl who has known for a long time that she would not be returning home to live with her mom, but who never gave up hope. She is very strong and resilient, but still just a young 13 year old child.

What I see most, as the dust begins to settle and the intensity of every one's feelings are dying down, is a young girl who, although she realizes the right decision was made, has been left with a great big hole in her heart. A hole that can only be filled by her biological mom, in spite of everything that this young girl has been put through. I wish there was an easy answer for this. But there is not. We will raise her and love her to the best of our ability and when she turns 18, she will be free to go back to her mom if she so chooses. Our hopes are that she will continue to want to go to college and that she will not backslide when that time comes. All any of us can do is our best.

Foster Care is Not Perfect

2010-06-04T21:50:00.000-05:00

Those of us who live within the foster care system often at times find it to be somewhat less than perfect! We may feel that a particular case is taking much too long to be resolved. Or perhaps the targeted end goal for a foster child is not one that we agree with. Sometimes we just feel as though the whole foster system is too full of holes.

Often we hear on the news stories of abused children who were killed or seriously injured by their biological parents or relatives. Often we find out that a report had been called in but not adequately followed up on. It is not always the fault of the social workers or foster case workers that these children were missed. Too often our child welfare agencies are understaffed with inadequate funds to hire more help. These Child Care Workers are very often just as frustrated as we foster families are.

With so many children being placed in the Foster Care System, it is important that the supply of good, caring foster homes keep up with the demand. A Foster Home offers children who have been removed from their own homes a safe and nurturing place to stay, sometimes for a few weeks or possibly even a few years. A child who is placed in a "safe" foster home which turns out to be "unsafe" must endure even more pain and feelings of being unloved.

It is extremely important that families who decide to take on the responsibility of housing foster children have available to them all of the support and care that is necessary for them to maintain a loving, nurturing and safe environment in which these children can stay for as long as is necessary.

If you do not feel as though you are in a position to take in foster children, but would like to help in some way, there are things that you can do. If you know a foster family, you could offer to drive their kids to sports activities, or to doctor's appointments. You could just visit with the parents and offer words of encouragement. These small gestures are ever so helpful in recharging the empty batteries that the foster parents may be running on. And it is a great way to feel better about yourself, too.

Please keep in mind that even though our foster system is not perfect, it is operating in the best interest of our country's children. Imperfect human beings run imperfect organizations. That does not mean that the hearts of each worker is not in the right place. They are doing their best.

Imperfect People Run Imperfect Organizations

2010-06-04T18:49:00.000-05:00

I recently ran across some one's site where I found one of my blog posts dissected into parts and my words and statements taken out of context and some very harsh things were said about my motives for wanting to adopt our foster daughter.

At first I felt a little angry. How dare someone who doesn't know me or my situation judge why I do what I do or why I feel the way I feel! I am truly amazed at the large amount of people in the world who think the foster care system is nothing but a huge kidnapping organization. I definitely have compassion for those many, many families who have been hurt by the foster care system. I know absolutely that it is not perfect. We were told by someone who worked for the local child welfare agency that it was considered that 75% of foster homes are not good foster homes. I imagine that these 75% of foster homes are not all totally horrible, abusive homes and probably have a wide range of issues that makes even a certain percent of them better homes than many of the terribly abusive homes that some children are removed from. However, I acknowledge that too often kids are removed from their homes and placed in foster homes that are indeed worse than what they were removed from. In this world where every organization is run by human beings, there will always be good and evil. People are far from perfect and therefore the businesses that they are in charge of are also far from perfect organizations. If I could, I would change everything that was wrong with this world and make it right. But that is God's job, not mine. So, I guess we will all have to wait for heaven to live in a world where nobody causes pain to anyone ever again.

After thinking about all of the horrible things that were said about me on this other site, I decided that it shouldn't make me angry, it should just make me stop and think and remember that there are a substantial number of families who have been hurt by injustices caused by the foster system. My situation, however, is not one of those. The biological mom to the kids I talked about knew that she was not able to properly take care of her kids and keep them safe, so she decided to simply go through the motions of trying to do what the child welfare agency said she had to do to get her kids back. She honestly does love her children and she did not want them to think that she was simply abandoning them, so she did give some effort into reunification. But the plain honest truth is, she simply was not able to overcome the many personal issues that stood in the way. I am fairly certain that she knew almost from the beginning, 4 years ago, that she was not able to keep her kids safe. One of her children suffered through an extremely abusive situation that she could have very easily avoided from the beginning, and after the incident happened, she would not allow her child to tell anyone about it. Eventually all of the sordid details came out and that is when the kids were removed from her care.

These children are all in loving, safe foster homes and all should be adopted this summer. Should we NOT be very happy that the past four years, which have been very, very hard on EVERYONE involved, is over?
Am I not allowed to express relief and happiness that these children will not be going back into a situation where another horrible incident is likely to happen? Maybe I need to remind myself from time to time that there are many of you who have been hurt deeply by the foster system, for which I am truly sorry. However, there are so many successful stories out there that I don't know how I would change the way I write about those good things. For me, my roller coaster ride is over, and my family will likely be adopting our foster daughter this summer. For these kids, their 4 year ordeal is almost over. They can now feel secure and get on with the business of being kids, going to school, playing, and just growing up to be as well adjusted as possible.

Again, if I could take all of the pain that so many of us have felt while alive on this earth and turn it into happiness, I would do it in a heart beat. But for now, we do what we can do. I will never forget about those of you who are suffering due to the foster system, but I will also rejoice each time I know that any child has been saved from abuse by being placed in a loving foster home.

The Cycle of Abuse

2010-05-22T12:22:00.000-05:00

A baby lies crying, cold, hungry, and alone
Mom is too tired to keep trying and her love is never shown
Though the small baby pleads, crying, with diaper messy and wet
This little baby's basic needs are barely being met

A baby needs comfort, something she has never known
Her cries go unanswered, and the seeds of distrust begin to be sewn.
She lies with her diaper wet and dirty day after day,
No one comes to change her, or to soothe her loneliness away.

A young child lies crying curled up on his bedroom floor
Wishing he did not hear the angry voices right outside his door
Pressing his clenched hands tightly against his ears
He longs for someone to hold him, to take away his fears

A young child is so hungry, dirty and scared
She wishes that someone would prove that they cared
She longs for her mom to say three little words
But for this young child, "I love you" goes completely unheard

A teenager is angry, so beaten and bruised
He vows he will no longer allow himself to be abused
He walks out of his old life and into the streets
Where alcohol and drugs are the first friends he meets

A teenager sells her body to get money for food
She has no other choice is all she can conclude
A tiny baby is born but mom has nothing to give
She tearfully slips into habits shaped by her own past life she had lived

A young adult now has three kids of his own
He has been unable to overcome the seeds of abuse so long ago sown
Angry, abusive, hopeless and sad
He sees his life as worthless, for he has become exactly like his own dad

This cycle of abuse can be broken; all it takes is more people who care
Where were the families, the church, the school; was anyone even aware?
Children are the future; they need love and strength to cope
We must not ignore their bruises, the cries for help; children are tomorrow's only hope

By: Diane T. foster

I Think We Are Going To Make It!!!!!!!

2010-05-15T12:17:00.000-05:00

All is going well and sometimes I almost can forget that the past four years even happened! We are almost to the point when all of A.'s records will be transferred to the adoption department and from there it is only a matter of how long it takes them to get things in order before we can actually adopt A. I love her so much and I know she fits perfectly into our family. Our family is not free from the common stresses of ordinary life and to add her problems to ours can't be that much more to deal with. She is a strong willed child and has some bad habits from her past, but don't we all? In a lot of ways I think she will be as good for our family as we are for her. We are past the point where every blow up brings about the question of whether or not she should stay with us, or, if she WANTS to stay with us. Now we argue like any other normal family members do, but when everyone cools off, we always talk the problem through and we all recognize that the love will forever be greater than the problems. Our biggest problem right now is that she is just beginning to go through puberty with all the hormonal changes and mood swings that brings to the table, while I am just beginning to feel the earliest effects of menopause with all the hormone changes and mood swigs. (I guess that clues everybody in to my approximate age.... oh well. :) Anyway, some days can be really moody, as you can imagine. I try to be up front and honest with her and the whole family about how I am feeling and she talks to me a lot about the way she is feeling and together I suppose we will make it through. It sure has been a long 4 years. I think I may have a little PTSD from the whole experience : }

Waiting For Adoption

2010-05-07T23:39:00.000-05:00

A. sent me an email the other day telling me that she can't explain why, but that she is really looking forward to being adopted. Not because she's glad that she isn't going to live with her mom, but because it means an end to the whole foster world nightmare. She said she just wants all of the extra people that have had to become a part of her life over the past four years to go away. Not that most all of those people haven't been very nice people. But when a child has a caseworker, a counselor, a casa worker, and at the very beginning there was a lady with some program that helps foster kids become adjusted to their new foster homes. I can't remember the name of that program. The point is, that is a lot of people to suddenly be in your life, asking you very personal questions over and over again. I realize that it has been very important for A. to talk about her life with her mom, and A. will most likely be in counseling for a while yet. But she just wants to get down to living life as part of a normal family. I don't think there is anyone who wouldn't understand that feeling. So, that is where we are at right now. Just waiting for all the proper T's to be crossed and the I's to be dotted so we can finally adopt A. and she can really be our daughter. Hopefully that will be no more than a couple of months from now.

The Roller Coaster Ride Is Slowing Down!

2010-05-03T17:30:00.000-05:00

All is quiet on the home front! Ever since the TPR ruling our lives have settled down a bit. A. no longer has to decide whether she is going to be loyal to her BM or to us. That was one of her biggest struggles throughout the whole four years she has been in foster care. She always felt that if she showed us that she loved us, then she would be letting her mom down in some way. And, if she talked to us about how much she loved and missed her mom, then she felt she was letting us down in some way. I was ever so hopeful that once termination was ruled A. would be able to settle down a little and just focus on getting her own life together so that some day, when she gets to see her mom again, she can be proud of what she has accomplished in her life. As much as I knew that her BM should not have A. and her siblings back living at home with her again, when the moment came that termination was announced, I felt a lump in my throat for the kids and for the mom. I know who A.'s siblings and their foster families are, and all three of our families intend to continue getting the kids together so they can grow up knowing each other well. I wish there was a way to let A. keep somewhat in touch with her real mom, but I guess that is not possible now until A. turns 18. We are looking at adoption probably in around 2 months or so. We will be at the court house with A. and her siblings and their foster families, all getting adopted on the same day. I have a feeling that day will be one of those days that are forever written deep inside of my memories. Our foster care roller coaster ride is almost over. We may take a few rides on a much smaller roller coaster as A. goes through her teen years, but all in all I know it is worth it.

To all of the foster families out there who have had their foster kids for years and are hoping to adopt them, don't give up hope. There were so many days I was sure that A. would be going home within a few months. Then it would all turn around and it became clear that going home to her mom was not an option for A. Then, we would hear something else that would make our hearts jump and we weren't so sure anymore of the outcome. THAT is the roller coaster ride I have always referred to. But all rides have an end. Ours is almost over. It was a long four year ride, and I will be extremely happy to step off when it stops. It is slowing down as I write this, and I am able to breathe easier. Never give up hope. Your ride might almost be over too!

And Just Like That SNAP It's over!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-03T21:12:00.000-05:00

I don't know whether or not the bonding assessment that we experienced was typical or not, but it truely did seem like a waste of time. It seemed to me as though it was just one more thing to try to do to make this case drag on just a little longer. However, all of my fears have been put to rest. I feared most that this Bonding Assessment would determine that there was too great of a bond between the oldest child (my foster daughter) and her biological mom and that possibly it would be ruled that A. should not be adopted due to this strong bond. Well, they do have a strong bond, but it was found to be a very unhealthy bond.

These two people (A. and her biological mom), love each other sooo much! But due to mom's past she could not help but be dysfunctional when it came to being a mom herself. So, instead of taking the role of "mom", she encouraged a role of "best friends" between herself and her oldest child. This oldest child has never really had a "mom" in the normal way. In fact, this child by default, became the mom herself! She took care not only of herself, but also of her mom and eventually of her little sister. She is extremely parentified and way beyond her years in certain ways. But in other ways, she is just a little girl who never got to go through her childhood as a child. She is so dysfunctional when it comes to obeying rules, because she never had to obey any before. She finds it very hard to accept responsibility for the wrong things she may do and habitually lies and blames others for ALL of her problems. I should say, for the first 3 1/2 years the above would describe A. very well. However, over the past 6 months we have seen some major improvements and now, with mom's parental rights finally terminated, A. seems to have settled almost too easily into the role of being our daughter.

I was thinking about all of this the other day and it suddenly hit me how quickly life can change. I have had this revelation before with other situations, but it always kind of sneaks up on me. Here we have been for the past 4 years feeling like we were in a battle for A. and her siblings lives. A. has had such a hard time knowing where to place her loyalty, and the roller coaster ride that we all have been on has been a nightmare. A.'s youngest sibling, her brother, has been with his foster family since he was 2 days old. For 4 long years, his foster mom has worried herself to a frazzle that she would end up losing him. A's other sibling, a sister, has been saying for a couple of years now that she did not want to go home and that she wanted to be adopted by her foster mom. So, her foster mom has been very worried about losing her as well. A. herself has bounced back and forth constantly between loyalty to her real mom and to us. She has suffered the most out of all of the kids.

But then, SNAP!!!! just like that, the judge pronounces that parental rights of both mom and dad have been terminated and that all three kids will be adopted by their current foster families! It's over! The battle is over! There are many many more personal trials we will all go through yet, due to the background of this family, but the kids are ours now and we know we can love them and keep them as safe as is humanly possible. Each of us foster mom's and dad's can now look at our new son and daughters with a new confidence that we get to play a big role in guiding them through the rest of their lives. We won't be perfect at it, and there will be times when we will wonder if it was all worth it, but sitting here right now I can say without a doubt in my mind that it was worth it.

Please God, be with my family and with all foster families who are trying to help the youngest members of Your flock. As parents, we need to be guided by Your all-knowing wisdom. Our kids need to be guided as well, and we all need to be filled with the pure love that only You can show. Help us to show and teach these beautiful children which you have given to us that they are capable of overcoming their pasts and of becomming all that You intend for them to be. Thank You so much for bringing these children into our lives. Amen.

"Bonding Assessment" - Please Enlighten Me!

2010-02-18T22:11:00.004-06:00

This week we went to A.'s mom's parental fitness hearing. It has been 4 years now. It is getting close to being over. Each hearing we attend now could be the one during which the judge announces that he finds bio. mom has not made reasonable effort to get her kids back and rules for termination. I really felt that this past week was that magical hearing. Wrong! The judge did actually say the words that he has found mom not to have made reasonable effort, but before he could make any ruling, mom's attorney spoke out and said that he wanted to be granted the right to a "bonding assessment" for mom and her kids. The state objected but the judge said he would grant it. So, the next hearing was scheduled for a month from now. That hearing will be the permanency hearing where the "bonding assessment" results will be announced and factored into the judges decision. Hopefully a final decision will be made at that time.

Has ayone ever been through this "bonding assessement"? Our case worker said it was pretty rare that anyone ever asked for this and she couldn't really tell us what to expect from it. I just think it is another waste of time. If anyone can tell me their experience with this assessment I would appreciate it.

In my humble opinion, It seems rediculous to assess whether or not mom is bonded with her kids. Of course she is, at least to the two oldest ones. But, what difference does that make? Does the fact that she is bonded with her older kids make her more fit? Can she keep them safer just because she has bonded with them? I don't get this one. Please enlighten me.

I Believe In Miracles

2009-12-29T08:06:00.000-06:00

The trial for A.'s mom's TPR is coming up very soon. Her mom has stated to several people that she knows she doesn't have a chance of getting her kids back and that she would like to "quit fighting", but she is afraid that her kids will be mad at her if she gives up. Her kids have stated that they don't care if she "gives up" because they really do not want to go back to that type of life anymore. But they won't say it to their mom. So, on we go. After the trial mom can have, I think, 3 appeals. This is so crazy. It has been 4 years already and it will likely drag on at least one more year. Why can't the mom understand what she is doing to her own kids? Her "trying" is keeping them on such a roller coaster. If she was in a position to have even a little chance of getting them back I would understand better, but she isn't and she knows it.
I believe in miracles and so perhaps after this coming trial the mom will suddenly open her eyes and realize that she just needs to give up, for everybody's sake, including her own. She has stated that she is so tired of fighting this fight when she knows she can't win. I feel for her. I can't imagine being in her position. Yes, she was not a good mom, but it wasn't entirely her fault. She had a rotten childhood herself, worse than what her own kids had, and that is what made her so dysfunctional. The cycle has to be broken with her kids. They are all in good homes and are happy, why can't she see that? The two older kids both have stated their desire to become nurses and one even is thinking of being a pediatric physician. How wonderful! They are each being encouraged that they can do whatever they put their minds and hearts into, providing they are willing to work hard to get to the end goal. Yea, they both have problems from thier past, but I believe they are functional enough, and improving all the time, to make it into adulthood and actually lead normal lives with normal families. The possibility exists. Mom just needs to step out of the picture for now so the kids can take a few breaths and relax into their new permanent homes.
I have been taking a different approach to my relationship with A. It is hard to break old patterns so I do take a couple steps forward and then at least one step back from time to time, but I feel better about our relationship. We could use our own miracle in our family and I do feel as though my own eyes have recently been opened wider. I am seeing A. in a different way and I expect things will keep improving from here.

Several Good Days, Yay!!

2009-12-28T22:14:00.000-06:00

Today we had A.'s younger sister and brother over for their sibling visit. It went very well, (this is not always the case!) With all of the snow we have we all decided to take a walk with our sleds to the nearby school and see if the hill there would make good sledding. WRONG! But it was funny to watch the kids trying so hard to make their sleds slide faster. The snow was just too powdery I guess.
At any rate, it was a good day today. We have had several good days. I have been trying a more layed-back approach with A. I don't think it will make a whole lot of difference, but I'm willing to try.

Take Time To Make Your Family Feel "Special" Today. There is Most Likely At Least One Person Who Needs That Very Badly Today.

2009-12-25T09:24:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is enjoying all of the various family Christmas traditions that families have come to value. Our family spent Christmas Eve at my parent's home which we do every Christmas Eve. We start with the youngest kids opening their presents first and then after they go off to play with their new toys, the older kids and adults open their gifts. It is a frenzy of wrapping paper being ripped off of presents and thrown around the room combined with kids squealing and playing and, yes, crying. It is quite the event. But it is OUR Christmas tradition and we love it.

A.'s mom should be making her Christmas phone call a little bit later today so A. is looking forward to that. We still have to go visit other family members today and have much smaller gift exchanges, but still all enjoyable and we look forward to it all every year. It does get a bit overwhelming at times, but we wouldn't change any of it. This year my aunt has recently been moved into a nursing home and we were going to gather a bunch of the family together and go visit and sing Christmas carols for her, but we found out she got moved back to the hospital 2 days ago so we have to rethink what we are going to do. Hospitals aren't allowing ayone under 12 to visit patient's this time of year due to the H1N1 flu. It is the little ones that my aunt would really love to see, so I am disappointed that she isn't in the nursing home today. I guess just some of us will have to go and somebody will have to stay behind with the little kids. Oh well, we do what we can do, I guess.

Merry Christmas! Show your family a lot of love today. Someone is really needing to know that someone thinks they are very special. So make sure that EVERYBODY in your family knows they are special to you.

FOSTER FAMILY TALK

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Someday . . . .

Don't Throw The Baby Out With The Bath Water!

A Hole In Her Heart

Foster Care is Not Perfect

Imperfect People Run Imperfect Organizations

The Cycle of Abuse

I Think We Are Going To Make It!!!!!!!

Waiting For Adoption

The Roller Coaster Ride Is Slowing Down!

And Just Like That *SNAP* It's over!!!!!!!!!!!

"Bonding Assessment" - Please Enlighten Me!

I Believe In Miracles

Several Good Days, Yay!!

Take Time To Make Your Family Feel "Special" Today. There is Most Likely At Least One Person Who Needs That Very Badly Today.

And Just Like That SNAP It's over!!!!!!!!!!!