Off Side!!

In Arsene We Trust...

2012-08-27T03:49:00.001-07:00

The way last season ended, “theatrical” would be an appropriate way of putting it or if I may say so dramatic enough to pass as a Shakespearian work of genius.

Man City being the takers of the loot was well you can say not a well and truly digestible fact for many of its rival competitors, especially the neighboring reds who ended with just the Community Shield. The blues to a certain extent who had their own fair bit of problems; manager issues, Torres’s underachieving tag along with the price and not to forget master Terry’s endeavors of constant attempts of getting into the pants of anything that showed a slight indication of movement and not to forget his new hobby of calling everyone in sight by their skin tone. But then who are we to judge they bagged the Champions League and the FA Cup, quite a shocker but the truth. Post which they began their next campaign on quite a serious note, Roberto Di Matteo (an apparent club legend 3 months into the job, and rightfully so) is given a 2 year contract after much consideration. Getting a managerial job at Chelsea is like dating or getting married to Julia Roberts, you never know when you suddenly don’t mean squat to them and get kicked out.

Moving on Chelsea go on a shopping spree, something similar to when you leave women in a shopping mall that has 70% off on everything and the end buying even the shopping carts. Hazard, Jr. Hazard, Marin, Oscar and not to forget Wigan sensation Victor Mosses join the blue army with Drogba, Malouda biding adieu to the blue outfit. And still not done, having the continuous rumors of the Brazilian Hulk joining in.

Taking into account the significant others, we do have the likes of Spurs who got unlucky with the Champions league qualification spot. But with Harry having left the building and Modric on the brinks of leaving the club the champions league does look like only a possibility next season.

Liverpool who err... (Who am I kidding here, don’t have the time to write 20 years worth of nothing) well we can say were just there lingering around as usual but adding a Carling Cup to their not so impressive success story. New Castle on the other hand turned out to be a surprise offering last season, with some impressive performances against the top teams and coming extremely close to the Champions league qualification berth and Alen Pardew winning the best manager of the season summed up quite a fairy tale ending for them.

And not to forget Arsenal, 8 years and still going strong with an empty trophy cabinet. The only remarkable achievement added is that of Mr. Wenger’s ability to find under aged kids stolen from African jungles, which can run like gazelles, speak French like Mr. Bean and have hideous hair styles. But then one can’t forget some of the young talent' that has emerged through the Arsenal ranks.

Here's a look at the important few who left the Gunners in search for glory -

1) Ashley Cole: Joined Chelsea for £5 million, with William Gallas arriving in part-exchange, in July 2006.

Age when he left: 25

Why did he leave? The defender fell out with Arsenal over wages. It was his claim at the time that Arsenal didn't value him according to his worth. But it doesn't take a rocket-science-brain to see how. Cole was furious at being offered only £55,000 a week. He 'snubbed' Arsenal in January 2005 and that resulted in an illegal meeting with Chelsea. He moved to Stamford Bridge a year later.

What happened next? He has had an outstanding career at Chelsea and has not decided to leave them since his move from Arsenal. His honours with Chelsea are as follows.

Premier League: 2009-2010
FA CUP: 2007,2009,2010,2012
League Cup: 2007
FA Community Shield: 2009
UEFA Champions League: 2012

2)Thierry Henry: Joined Barcelona for £16.1 million in June 2007.

Age when he left: 29

Why did he leave? The French striker had been extremely close to quitting Arsenal the previous summer in 2006 only to vow to lead one more assault on the Champions League. Instead, he left in 2007 after the club’s second consecutive trophyless season. It is said that one of the reasons that convinced Henry to move was because he wanted to win the Champions League, given that at Barcelona he had a more genuine chance to win. And so it became. Business-wise, it was a savvy move to let Henry go. Trophy-wise, a very bad idea for Arsenal.

What happened next? Henry helped Barcelona win the Champions League in 2009. He left Spain in July 2010 and now plays for New York Red Bulls. He returned for a loan spell of 3 months for Arsenal in the latter half of 2012 season. His honours after leaving Arsenal are:-

La Liga: 2008-2009,2009-2010
Copa del Rey: 2008-2009
Supercopa de Espana: 2009
UEFA Champions League: 2008-2009
UEFA Super Cup: 2009FIFA Club World Cup: 2009

3)Emmanuel Adebayor: Joined Manchester City for £25 million in July 2009.

Age when he left: 25

Why did he leave? Angered many Arsenal fans by attempting to join AC Milan and Barcelona and then sulked for a season when Arsene Wenger got him to sign an improved deal. Adebayor fell out with large sections of the Arsenal crowd due to what they perceived as lacklustre performances in the 2008-09 season. In mitigation, Adebayor had been struggling for fitness too.

What happened next? The striker soon fell into more trouble. Roberto Mancini did not favour him as he was sent out on a loan to Real Madrid and eventually begged them to sign him but that didn't happen. A loan with Tottenham followed and now he is again looking to make it a permanent deal. The worst he did after his move was when he infuriated Arsenal with his length-of-the-field celebration after scoring against them in 2009.

Copa del Rey: 2010-2011

4) Gael Clichy: Joined Manchester City for £7 million in July 2011.

Age when he left: 25.

Why did he leave? Initially in an interview he revealed that he had to move on to another club and he would miss the club, its fans and Arsene Wenger who played their part in making him a better footballer. Later on, he revealed that he was sick of loosing year after year with Arsenal and that he wanted to win trophies. The French full-back was branded a mercenary by Gunners fans after having completed his move to Manchester City.

What happened next? The defender had a good first season at Man City. He established himself as first choice left-back after beginning the season as backup to Aleksandr Kolarov and was instrumental at the back in helping Manchester City clinch the Premier League title from their rivals Manchester United.

Manchester City

Premier League: 2011-2012

5) Samir Nasri: Joined Manchester City for £25 million on 24 August, 2011.

Age when he left: 24

Why did he leave? Arsène Wenger said that he decided to let Samir Nasri leave for “psychological and financial reasons”. The manager said he was reluctant to let the 24-year-old go but admitted he had to be “a realist” given the French international would have been able to leave on free transfer at the end of next season. Nasri claimed that Arsenal lacked ambition, never mind that Manchester City had offered him a bucket-load of money.

What happened next? Nasri made made his presence felt in his debut match itself against Tottenham where he assisted three goals in a 5-1 win. His match winning goal in a 2-1 win over Chelsea in March was one of his most important goals. He wasn't in the best for forms in the middle of the season but came back strongly to end on a high.

Manchester City

Premier League: 2011-2012

6) Cesc Fabregas: Joined Barcelona for an initial fee of £29 million with a further £4 million in variables on 15 August, 2011.

Age when he left: 24

Why did he leave? One of the longest transfer sagas of all time, it all started with an intense media speculation about his move to Barcelona at the end of 2010 World Cup. A €35 million bid was rejected and he stayed. He said that he had to leave Arsenal after having given his all for them, and despite knowing that he would have found less playing time at Barcelona, he moved because he felt he needed a special motivation to bring the best out of himself.

His constant display of frustration of not having secured his move to his boyhood club eventually meant that Arsenal had to let go off their inspirational captain even though they wanted to keep him. It was in the best interest of the player that the move was carried forward with Fabregas having to actually chip in with his own money to facilitate his transfer to Barcelona.

What happened next? He was an instant hit at Barcelona and made his debut in the second leg of the Supercopa de Espana, coming on as a substitute against Real Madrid. Barcelona won the tie 3–2 and 5–4 on aggregate with Cesc providing the assist to Lionel Messi's winner. He scored his first goal in a 2–0 win against FC Porto as Barcelona won the 2011 UEFA Super Cup and his first league goal on his league debut was against Villarreal CF. He played a in key role in Barcelona winning the Club World Cup and Copa Del Rey last season.

Barcelona

Copa del Rey: 2011-2012
Supercopa de Espana: 2011
UEFA Super Cup: 2011
FIFA Club World Cup: 2011

Not to mention the likes of Alexander Hleb, Kolo Toure, Mathieu Flamini and now Robin Van Persie and Alex Song. The only significant signings made by Mr. Wenger being Lukas Podolski,Olivier Giroud and Santi Cazorla and the first two games ending in stalemates for the gunners, the seem to be heading for another trophy less season.

But one must give it to the fans and their undying spirit and their trust in Wenger. And now not only the fans but all the managers also do say ......

“In Arsene we trust (to spawn the future of our club)...”

Why always US !!!

2012-05-30T04:20:00.000-07:00

"A hundred grand for a trip to England, sixty grand to stay at the best hotel, twenty grand for the best meals, ten grand for match tickets at the Old Trafford for rest there is master card or else there is a rich sheik sitting around the corner ready to buy you what ever the f*** you want"

So its finally over an exceptional roller coaster ride of a season and at the end of it looking at the out come it has become hard to digest the fact as to what I see, bur all said and done the title (a little hard to say) is quite deservingly Man City's *sigh* when would you have ever imagined saying that considering the domination of the top four over the past decade or so. But over the past few seasons things have changed, our very own ancient footballing power house Liverpool have lost out on the top 4 finishes even though they boast of a very strong team with the likes of Suarez, Gerrad, Adam and the likes. Teams like New Castle and Spurs have shown resurgent performances to compete for the top four finish. With Spurs finishing in the top 4 but were still not guaranteed a Champions League spot due to the recent endeavors of the men in Blue who finished 5th in the table but tasted Champions league glory for the 1st time and get an automatic qualification hence ensuring that their London rivals can play happily in the Europa League.

So now let’s talk money, NO! NO! I don’t mean to change the topic from football to finance, but what I mean is let’s talk about Man City the recently crowned champions of England *and again who would have ever imagined such a day would dawn when you would be saying that and that twice in the same post "whatay Shame"*. Man City this season did what you would expect Man Utd would do, cut down an 8 point lead, score last minute winners blah blah and not denying the fact the amount of money they spent would be sufficient enough to support a third world country.

But the outcome was quite half expected to happen or predicted to happen if i may say so, a team that flaunts the best players in the business and who show the determination to win no matter what the situation better win or else.... is something i would not like to comment on as one is quite familiar with the fate of people who get on the wrong side of those dudes in white.

So at the start Man City get off to a flier off a start demolishing team after team, beating United at Old Trafford 1-6, a victory well and truly deserved and a shambolic display of football from the men in red. A match which no devil would like to remember and would want to erase it from memory FOREVER. (Please let me know if Harry Potter plans to retail such a magic potion, in the mean time I shall write to him hopefully the new owl I bought is smart enough to deliver it to him). And then one cannot forget the famous moment when Balotelli decided that he needed more attention than he already had gotten after setting his house on fire, throwing darts on random team members etc etc, he decided to lift up his shirt (the entire world almost shut their eyes trying to spare their eyes from this woeful moment of witnessing a half naked Balotelli) but then as cheeky as he is, he had a simple message at on his t-shirt "Why always me?". No one knew the answer for that but a whole bunch of UTD fans did when the sight of the trophy loomed up all they said was "why always us?" but unfortunately that was never to happen as city's last day heroics ensured that they get the coveted prize for the first time in 44 years.

"Lets all do the poznan"

So post this match City gets the bragging rights and rightfully so I would say and and the fans began to jump up and down facing their backs towards their own team in a celebration as to what they call as the "POZNAN", which I feel is quite insulting to watch as a team and according to me should be defined as " I hate my team so much that i will turn my back against them".

Ah! well all said and done, city have the title, till Balotteli decides that they dont need it any more and he plans to sell it off or find something better to do with it like use it as a basketball hoop.

A random News Snippet

And in other news the world waits with bated breath as city aim to buy out another country to play for them in the coming season of the EPL, sources claim that the people of Al Jumahiriyah al Arabiyah al Libiyah ash Shabiyah al Ishtirakiyah al Uzma have been targeted as they seem to be the perfect fit for the league winners. Current prerequisites to become a man city player include -

A minimum prize tag of 100 mil
Must not complain EVER
Must be uglier than Carlos Tevez
Must have own supply of benches to sit on

Ah! well thats enough for today will be back with more ! adios till then. :)

Recall !

2012-02-29T21:47:00.000-08:00

Something woke me up I don’t know what , it was like a sudden flood of something, something like air but a lot stronger it whizzed right through my head and shook me up. I had woken up quite startled trying to figure what exactly happened? I looked around trying to gather my bearings of my whereabouts, I suddenly felt something inside me pounding like a hammer I clutched my chest feeling pain. It was a feeling all too familiar but yet so undistinguished, it was like a feeling of excitement when you are speeding, may be on a bike on a freeway the feeling of freedom where everything zips past you, but this was no excitement it was a feeling of emptiness as if something was missing. But I did not know what? I tried to recollect last night, how did I get here? But nothing, my mind was empty like a blank paper. I felt like a new born with no memories in an alien world. As much as I tried I failed to recollect memories of the past few days or even weeks, last night or the nights before just did not seem to exist. I was like an alien soul trapped in my own abode.

I looked around in search of objects that might help me in the slightest to remember, but the sight that greeted me was least helpful a dingy dark room with a few accessories, light streamed in through a broken window pane partially covered with a dirty half torn curtain right across the room, amongst the others was a dusty TV at around a distance of 10 meters from the bed on which I lying. Despite the lack of memory of anything I still was able to name objects around. To the left was a cabinet with dusty broken doors and a whole lot of junk overflowed right onto the floor, the table top was as messy with objects I could not see. Women’s lingerie, clothes were strewn all over the floor making it look like a laundry storage room. I heard a small creak half expecting someone to come and pick up the clothes, but it was just a small black animal who just sauntered across the room hitting a broken wine glass on its way. The room reeked of something, something like stale alcohol which I associated with the half empty alcohol bottles. Right in the center was a small table with some pipes and other instruments along with some silver paper which meant nothing to me.

I looked at these objects over and over again trying to extract some sort of recollection form them that might help me. But nothing!

I tried to get up but failed to gather enough strength to do so falling back over and over again. A sudden pain some where in my head made me open the draw next to me, I did not know why but it seemed to be a sort of habit, the only contents of the drawer was a small bottle which was empty and the label scratched off. The sight of the empty bottle gave me sinking feeling as if this should not be happening. It sort of all also angered me for some reason unknown to me, I suddenly began to take notice of a few changes, my body temperature had suddenly increased and I was feeling hotter. I ran my hands through my hair which was completely wet, I was also feeling a bit restless and I began breathing at a faster than normal. I held my head, I needed something; something that would help me ease away this feeling, but what?

I mustered all m strength and got up, I staggered at first stumbled on a few random things on the floor and thus began a search of something I had no clue about, I felt controlled by some foreign source as I struggled to stand ground amongst the plethora of non-sense in search of that something. I weaved through a clutter of things around books, clothes, utensils and lot of other random things. And I accidently stumbled up on a book it was like a diary, leather bound diary. With trembling fingers I wiped the dust of the book and gently opened it not knowing what to expect, it was a photograph album, I browsed through it had some very old images of some girl named Susan (I read it behind one of the images) and was surprised by the fact there were so many of them along with a small child and me!

My condition worsened as I tried to make sense of what was happening, I was perspiring, and suddenly a nauseating feeling swept through me as I fell on the floor throwing the album, clutching my stomach in agony and wriggling on the floor like fish caught on bait. My eyes broadened, I could not take the pain any more. I clutched the collar of my shirt trying to rip it off.

And suddenly it all came back to me in flashes as I saw images on that same women and that kid… “she was yelling at me showing me a piece of paper, and the montage of my failed marriage flashed before me… the other girl from the bar, lost all my money gambling, the drug scandal, tried to kidnap my own kid, the police and the divorce”. She found out all about me that day, left me in disarray how she did that? I have no clue but she did. I was thrown into rehab for the past 6 years of my life and that’s where I was I guess.

But her sweet scent still lingered on as I smiled staring at the ceiling with sweat trickling down my face, as I fell back into the abyss.

Something woke me up I don’t know what, it was like a sudden flood of something……………………

The End

The Grand Prick !!

2011-11-11T10:16:00.001-08:00

And so finally it is here, the Indian Grand Prix one of the most awaited sporting extravaganzas to follow the cricket world cup and the common wealth games and not to mention the epic visit paid by the legend himself Mr. Messi and his entourage from Argentina.
Well I wouldn't want to say much about the common wealth games after the nation suffered some major crisis and I would say embarrassment issues.

But touch wood you would not want such a debacle to happen again. But being in India you can only dream of such things not happening. But it did as a few or rather majority had expected to happen, all set for the first practise session ever where the best drivers in the world took their stand to test the Buddh International Circuit.
Some may nod their head in shame and say “WTF, is this?” a few others would high five and say “didn’t I say so!” some would roll on the floor laughing their asses off at the sight of it happening. Its a shame for me to say but in India no one pays much attention rules/laws in general, for us such things are made for just for the sake of making them.
Well what happened was that a random stray dog decided that for some reason he needed to be a part of the race and ran on to the tracks. Well as you may have imagined the dog was chased down all over the circuit while the drivers got out and chilled and had a couple of smokes and drinks(you can imagine those guys selling stuff on the cycles, rushing to these guys as they step out not wanting to miss the opportunity to earn a quick buck) to beat the scorching Indian sun (well this is not true, this is just what I thought they must have done) while the dog ran all over the place trying to make its presence felt till it was taken away in a truck. And I must say it was successful in doing that as it grabbed the headlines of all the leading dallies the next day making Rakhi Sawant wonder what her next move should be.

Well the dog was an epic case scenario, I wont call it worst case but epic. Well you know you are in India when you witness a few things that happen to our daily commuters and when they happen way too often and it gives you the feeling that okay! Now I am in India. Imagine few of those incidents happening to our race drivers -

Since the race is in Noida, you can imagine a whole lot of Punjabis and Sardars going for the race, not because they are fans of the sport but just out of curiosity to check what engine oil the drivers use. You can imagine the Sardars getting all happy and excited and one of them takes of a big ass radio and starts playing “oh! Mai nikla gaddi le ke, oh! Raste pe , sadak par......” And the entire junta runs on too the tracks dancing.
Now if you are a daily commuter and you are well versed with how the traffic signals work you have random people coming up to you and trying to sell things from books to food, papers etc. So you can imagine a few guys loafing around near the pit stop trying to sell peanuts. Or some guys entering the pit stop while the tyres are being changed, coming up to the driver and yelling in a very nasal tone “MEE DAAYY!! MEE DAAYY!!” and I can very well imagine Alonso taking the paper and reading the paper stretching out his legs and reading while he gets his tyres changed and some small kid wipes his windshield and the paper boy patiently waits for his money. And then suddenly he races off at top speed without paying any of the idiots who let out a stream of abuses.
And the moment Alonso heads off at top speed from the pit stop he is hauled up by a pandu standing in some near by corner of the tracks. Imagine the funny sight of Alonso trying to explain to the cop that he needs to go since he needs to win the race while the pandu nonchalantly chews on to his pan without giving a shit. And the sight when Button passes by the spot cheekily waving out to Alonso “ADIOS SUCKER”.
In India accidents are the most entertaining incidents to every pedestrian, for some reason they find it very intriguing as they crack their brains trying to contemplate as to what must have happened, whose fault was it, and if at all a lady driver is involved it is always her fault. So at the F1 if a car crash were to happen, you can visualize a group of people surrounding the annihilated car whispering to each other “ARRE YEH KAISE HUA RE?” “GADI KI TO MAA ******* GAYI HAI, TEES – CHALIS KA PHATKA TO MINIMUM HAI BOSS”.
For Indians road/traffic senses does not mean jack to them, we are the kings of the road and fuck the rest we do what we want. Whether as a driver or as a pedestrian. We own the fucking the roads. While crossing the roads we will stop a speeding car and walk like kings and cross the roads. For us a zebra crossing are the marks of a dead zebra, who tried to cross the road, and hence we pay due homage to the poor dead zebra by not walking over it. So the few seconds to win the race and Alsonso just about to reach the finish line and then suddenly walks in a stud wearing the tightest of possible jeans pants, shiny yellow boots that come up to the knees and could also pass of as socks and he decides it is very urgent for him to cross the tracks and get to the other side no matter what the situation and forces Alonso to stop suddenly and Vettel passes by the very next second.
Very soon the night race will be introduced to the India Grand Prix, and now if you are a late night commuter in India you will always notice dudes on cycles selling things like tea, coffee, boost and smokes. These guys are life savers when you have sudden cravings of any of the above mentioned products. So this will be an add on feature to the night races.

Well thank god all of the above mentioned things did not happen and it all ended the way everyone prayed for it to end.

VROOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!

The Random John, Kurt ..........

2011-10-21T12:27:00.000-07:00

I always wondered WHAT if the John, Kurt, Freddie, Robert, Jeff, Jimi... (to name a few) would not have happened to the world of music?
For a layman these are JUST names of the local hot dog vendors or boys at the coffee shop. But to some one like me, it brings a broad smile on my face. It makes me wonder WHAT IF these guys never took to what they actually ended up being, what if that John actually was a hot dog vendor from Liverpool, Kurt a cobbler from Seattle and the Farrokh from India never went to the UK to become the Freddie that he is today.
I may would have never ended up liking music, to be honest as a kid I never liked listening to music... well you can say the only source was the TV and my perception of the TV (apart from the cartoons) was that it made dead husbands of women come back to life and when they did they either found them in the arms of some other man and then he would go like ..
"How could you do this to me ...?"
"How the hell was I supposed to know you were coming back ....?" is what you would expect a normal human to say in such a situation but then she would be dumbstruck and baffled at the sight of him and would adjust her sari and manage to mumble a few words of apology.
But well Mr. Mercury rightfully sang "my only friend through teenage nights, and everything I had to know, I heard it on my radio" and so one fine day my mum gifts me a small radio and so began my exciting nights of discovering music.

he loves it too!!!
\m/

Sometimes I felt I should have been born some 50 odd years ago, the time when the "rock & roll" culture bloomed and blossomed. Watching the likes of Led Zeppelin, Beatles, Queen, Nirvana make music and history was something I always wished to witness, now listening to their songs you tend to sit back and imagine what would it feel like to see these guys perform live in front of your eyes, the entire atmosphere of millions around you and the legends of music right in front of you ripping the stage apart.

It surprises me how drastically the music has changed over the past few years,where the hip-hop (which is still bearable) and club rubbish that has emerged, with the rock & roll culture almost extinct. A new and emerging genre of music that has taken the liking of the many around is Dub Step it is basically drum and bass. But if you go to analyse the music its like some one has made you sit in some factory and machines go clanking around your head in a meth-odious and systematic manner. The first 10 seconds of the song feel like there is some sense of music but after that its the same thing played on loop, talk about lack of creativity and music sense and just to make you feel that the guy has made some effort in making the track there will be a few random pauses here and then a sudden a increase and decrease in tempo.

House and trance is something else which is beyond musical understanding, you have guys like Justin Timberland, now what kind of a name is Timberland or is it Timbaland? it would be a name apt for a wood cutter. You can imagine walking on the streets of NY and coming across a furniture store called "Timbaland" owned by some black dude.
Talking about names well there are a whole bunch of them that sound ridiculous and their music is as ridiculous as their names-

50 Cent - why would you name yourself something that is of no considerable value to anyone? and for a black guy who roams around half naked, it is something you would want to give him and not call him.
Lady Gaga- well there is nothing to go gaga over her, for person who could go dressed in meat for concert is someone to run away from and keep your poultry away from her, you never know what she might want to wear and go for her next concert.
[ why did the cow cross the road? because it did not want to become a part of her wardrobe].
Akon- now his name is a question in itself. The minute this guy starts to sing you feel like saying "A-kaun hai bey?". Imagine a guy singing to you "he wants to F**k you and sounds like Donald Duck (i.e if he could speak human tongue). Well am not too sure what the outcome of that would be.
Pit-bull- you really ought to be hating yourself for calling yourself that. If ever a frog could sing, he would sound just like him.
T-Pain- a cheap way to copy the swat cats and name yourself something that would have better suited a name for a pain killer.
Lil Wayne- if its little there is not much to talk about I guess.
Usher- you rather be from an escort or friendship club if plan to call yourself that.
Dead Mau5- its dead mouse actually, talk about the aftermath of a tom and jerry battle
Kid Cuddi- A baby girl born in Punjab, thats what he is

But there was always some story behind every band that made it big in the rock music industry, the reason may be as simple as the name of your grand mom and she made awesome jam, well that's the name of the band (yes it is PEARL JAM) or taking the name from a cheap horror movie that suggested witch craft (BLACK SABBATH). Some took poetic inspiration "if the DOORS of perception are cleansed, everything would appear to man as it truly is." They were called Sex Maggots earlier, but not being covered in the media got them a bit worried so a random ad in the newspaper about a DOLL that went GOO GOO when turned upside down, perhaps that suited them the best.

But you have to give due credit to some them, these DJ's they make random noises like telephone bells, door bells and car horns sound so melodious that people actually tend to believe its music and dance to it. They do have some talent in them.

Its hard to imagine life and music without the likes of John, Kurt and the rest of the gang that made rock happen in their own special way, John marked the beginning of an era rock and roll while the death of Kurt marked the end of an exceptional period of rock, and then began the decline of rock.

But they left behind a rich legacy of music for me and the rest to enjoy.

A penny for your shots!!

2011-10-03T14:22:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time a much celebrated sport for the common man has now become source of money manufacturing for many of the rich honchos. Perhaps it is no surprise that the disgorging of such obscene amounts of money into football has led to the mortifying of the moral values which once underpinned what used to be a noble sport. It is but natural to hope that at some point in time the so called “beautiful game” might just put a brake on the atrocious amounts of money spent, but I guess football has not learnt anything from the economic catastrophe that the world is facing.

Sometimes looking at clubs like Chelsea, Man City or Real Madrid you get a feeling that either their owners play the lottery everyday and win also to be able to spend the ridiculous amount of money on players who at times eventually turn out to be worthless or their fathers own the World Bank. But most of the times behind every rich club, is a mysterious man clothed in white from top to bottom and who owns several oil wells and palaces in some distant far off land and speaks a language that sounds like a threatening war cry and is about to throw a grenade every time they are about to speak.

Speaking of clubs who end up buying players for a ludicrous price tag the first thought that comes to your mind is obviously is Fernando Torres, bought for an exorbitant sum of 50 million.

Scoring just a mere 3 goals for such a heavy price tag is not something neither the manager nor the fans would want to see. After a dismal performance last season it was assumed that Chelsea have picked up another Andriy Shevchenko. But just when you were about to say after scoring in 2 consecutive matches that he has finally come out of his cocoon, he is what you say in footballing terms “Given the marching orders” for a ridiculous challenge that made a Paul Scholes tackle look as clean as the bright blue sky bring a halt to the most expensive scoring streak if 2 goals to an end.

So it comes as no surprise that these clubs with rich daddies use the scent of money to lure players away, it’s astonishing to see the lack of loyalty in big name players and the ease with which they switch clubs demonstrates an obsession with self and money. You are kissing the badge after scoring and celebrating and the other instance you are holding a jersey of some other club stating how happy you are.

It’s tragic when money becomes a be-all and end of all life. Many of these players are paid ridiculously large sums on money that they seem to run out of ideas to spend it fast enough. Hence the throw away cars that cost a few millions (I would have to sell my house and rent out one of the 2 kidneys to even be able to afford the damn seat from that car), the series of disgusting behavior that follows of bedding star struck women in hotel rooms.

The gentlemen players of the decades gone by, the likes of Bobby Moore, Bobby Charlton, and Duncan Edwards have given way to a generation of spoilt young mindless brats.

Many of these deeply flawed young men believe that indulging in these sexual activities and readily participating in drink and drug a fuelled orgy is their right.

And when details of such degrading behavior emerges, then they behave like disgraced film stars, politicians and dish out loads of money to pay their overpriced lawyers to obtain gag orders to stop these stories from getting to their wives, who are busy trying to hide their own.

Now a I wonder how a Mr. John Terry felt when the secrets of his mystery lover was exposed in the media and the lover turned out be none other than his England team mate Wayne Bridge’s lovely wife. And love rat Ryan Giggs proved that not only does he score on field and is good at it he also scores at home not only with his own wife but his brothers wife as well. Now that’s what I call an all round player.

Not just that a certain Mr. Mario Balotelli gets caught in his native land of land of Italy by a cop for roaming around with 20 odd million in his car and says that the reason for carrying this sum of money is because he is rich and can afford to do so.

Now a club like Man City should not be termed as a club, for the simple reason it’s like a ware house of players. They have a squad size of 41 players, like wow that’s a lot. They should be like the whole sellers and retailers of players. Despite the fact of them possessing top notch players they would go and buy more and more players and make them sit on the bench like pretty little school kids. If they wished they could have had Obama play for them.

But its not just any player, there are a few categories one must fall under to qualify as a Man City player–

You must have an exorbitant price tag on you, even if you are not worth it
You must be the most wanted target of your closest rival, irrespective if you belong to a different league all together
You must be Italian and have the same amount of arrogance as possessed by Mario Balotelli
You must not know how to wear a bib during training
If you are the top scorer for the few seasons in your league, does not matter even if you play for a Nigerian league
You must be a professional bench warmer and must not complaint or throw a fit if asked to play at any point in time
Must have interest in other activities as well, throwing darts preferably
You must not feel home sick and crib to want to go back home

Now they have amassed so many players that they ran out of benches to seat the players on.

But come what may we still love the sport as much as we love ourselves, it runs through our veins. We celebrate jump in joy and exuberance at every goal scored, cringe and swear at every miss, shed tears and cry out when we loose.

A weekend without football is like a weekend without alcohol.

:D CHEERS!!!!! :D

Tales of a jealous mind!!!

2011-09-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

It always so happens that you sit down to write or to think for that matter, you end up staring at the piece of paper or your computer screen for long hours lost in thought trying to bring out those first few lines/ words to start off. But then you cant fathom how your mind functions though, in a spur of a moment you say something as brainy as Einstein could be and the other you are made to look like a kid who has been ragged for the past 15 minutes and has no comeback what so ever but to curse the entire world for being so mean to him. But one thing that I have noticed is that you can understand other people better and predict how they are, what they think, how they think etc etc.... than your own self. This come through observation of others, because we as humans are more interested in what others are up to rather than concentrating on what we are or should do. If someone else does something or is doing something, it is necessary that "I" also must do it. Its the law of society, being different is no longer considered as an acceptable behavior. This is a case mostly in women, " are you listening, did you see the neighbor... *the moment your wife says these words you know whatever she says is going to burn a deep hole in your pocket*... they got a new car, don't you think our car has become old and we need a new one?" *are you serious we just got that damn thing 6 months ago after your sister's husband's best friend's aunt got one and now you are asking for a new one*

The mind is a very queer and funny thing you never know when it changes, sometimes you want something and it just takes a split second not to want it. Its the more nosier than the nose itself, it will want you know what others are doing and will force you to find that out and then make you do things accordingly.

Now for instance if a girl sees another one with an expensive bag, she would go like "oooh!! look at that bag its Gucci/Mark Jacobs/ and the other several brands... I so want that..." and that bag will so disgusting! so disgusting! that even a crow will think twice before taking a shit on it. Only because of its exorbitant price tag it gets the "ohhh!!" value. The next day she goes and gets the same bag, paying a ridiculous sum of money *in that much money a guy could buy clothing for himself and his family for the next 3 months* and then both meet a party that same night. Now the mind is such if you have spent so much you are bound to show off .. "Oh! its a Gucci/Mark Jacobs etc etc bag, got it for Rs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx only" but then you get the biggest jolt of your life and you become like a laughing stock when the person who influenced *if that is the right word* to buy the bag says "wow, that's a lot of money, I got it for Rs xxx"
And after hearing the price your jaw drops to the floor hitting hard, smashing 16 out of the 32 teeth to pieces and you wish you were never born. And you go like "where??" "Oh! here only men HILL ROAD, damn cheap place".

*"oh! look he has got a new phone, its a blackberry"

The next day you end up owning one yourself, "hey you too got a new phone" and proudly you would say "oh! yes yes I did"

Ask yourself a few questions why did you buy the phone? "I don't know..."

do you like it? "not really ..." then why did buy it??? "everyone has it ...."*

The blackberry cult is latest trending story in the society, its become a rage amongst the youth. If you don't have one you will be looked upon as an outcast.

If you have ever seen how an Ostrich reacts when it senses that there is danger lurking around, it sticks its head into the ground with its ass protruding on the outside thinking that it has eluded the danger and its safe now, like it creates a world of its own for its safety. Similarly if you see blackberry users, they create a world of their own in that device and just like an ostrich their head bent over and stuck in that phone. So even if a hurricane passes by or a hail storm says "hi" and goes by they wont know.

Its too complicated to understand a human mind but very easy to predict a women's mind, if you are an advertiser all you need to know is that you need to get her to envy the other and you know come what may she is going to buy what ever may be the price. :P

The rising sun of Manchester!

2011-09-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

Its been a glorious last month of football, for fans all around the globe some jumped in joy some cried criticized and cursed their doomed luck of missed chances and unfair results. One can feel bad for the Arsenal and it's fans. A sorry state that the club is in, after it was left high and dry by the departure of who you might consider their best players Fabregas and Nasri who have already shown what they are worth with their respective clubs by making immediate impacts to prove they totally deserved the move to such an extent that Barcelona's key men in the mid-field business Xavi and Iniesta are being used as impact players off the bench. It is said life is sometimes unfair, well it is true I guess in case of an Arsenal fan after how the red half of Manchester decided to treat their visitors who traveled all the way from London town. It was a real drubbing the worst that Arsen Wenger in his entire tenure as a manager must dealt with. Man Utd belted 8 goals past a helpless Arsenal defense and an equally helpless Scezney who was actually the best man Arsenal had fielded on that woeful day of misery . But it was a bad day for the City of London itself earlier during the day the so called noisy neighbors that form the blue part of Manchester backed by the rich sugar daddies from the Arab families decided to go out on a rampage and they gunned 5 past a clueless Spurs team that for the life of their poor ageing manger did not know what was happening. Well it was a battle of the Manchesters I guess each half trying to out do the other in every possible way and boy oh boy didn't the red side reply back in style, a comparatively young side with an average age of 23 years only made Arsenal look like an ordinary championship side. The fluidity of the passing, the pace and energy displayed by the young eager to win and hungry for more lads did their daddy Ferguson proud and the Scott had a beaming smile on his face but still humble and courteous as he shook hands of his old foe and friend.

The 8-2 defeat was like a wake up call for Mr. Stingy Wenger who suddenly realized that the alarm bells had been ringing since a long time and he had delayed the inevitable for longer than required, the last few hours of the transfer day left everyone in shock as Wenger went out and splashed out over 50 million, surprising for many who know how Mr. Wenger operates when he decides to buy a player. The player should fall in certain categories before he can even come close to being called a Gunner, the category is as follows-

the category that Wenger considers is quintessential for someone to qualify as an Arsenal player is the language French. The player who ever he may be must know how to converse in French, it does not matter if he only knows how to say "Parle vous Francois" *means speak French* and he shows signs that he is a good learner, bingo he has passed the first and the most important test.
the category is where I feel he is a little racist is you should be black and ugly. It was recently reported that he had sent out his scouts to the far off forests of Kalahari. He was looking for black people who could run as fast as gazelles.
This category is not that important but it seems to have become like a tradition with the gunners, having horrifying hair styles that closely resemble worms and maggots growing on the head. To be honest they look like the results of a failed science experiment.
This should have been second most important point but anyways, age remains the second most important criteria for Wenger and his pedophilic nature, you have to below the age of 14 years if you are to sign up as a player to be close to be eligible for playing for Arsenal. And according to Wenger if you are above 20 years you are very well eligible to retire from football.

So Mr. Wenger caught everyone by a cute surprise when went and got players that did not fit into any of the above mentioned categories.

But the two Manchester sides have taken the EPL by surprise this season going head to head trying to out do each other at every step, and so far the reds have gained an upper hand and sit pretty at the top of the table with thumping authoritative back to back wins over Chelsea and Arsenal.

Its just 5 games into the season and there is a long way to go, we might just end up celebrating Arsenal's relegation party soon *hopefully not*.

The Colors of Life!!!

2011-09-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

I roll back and sit up, gazing through the darkness of the lit up night sky,

Is it the night, is it the day or is it just that sun no its is fun

It’s just a series of arbitrary thoughts running through my head

I see it up in the sky but now it’s gone like a flash of lightning

I see them colours of life that now faded away.

It’s a dream that I’m living; it’s this place that am going

A glimmering hope that you bring back, a ray of light through the night sky

Take me through the obscurity, through the shadows pain

Walk with me across the sands of time, in search of a way to get back

Those colours of life that now faded away

I sit my self down, the reflections a bit indistinct

Perfections masks the confusion that I feel,

An emotional lust yearning for a fate so far away,

Through the eyes of desolation, I search for an answer

For those colours life that now faded away

It’s through your eyes that I wish to see the world,

When words true meaning, when a glance transcends the world,

I try to find the place I travelled to in my dream, slowly retracing every step

Flowing freely I find my mind to wander, atop a vastness so wide I feel so empty

In search for those colours of life that now faded away

My hand tenses as it scrapes the soft grains of sand

Which lie comfortably nestled on the bottom,

Land remains within reach I remind myself

Someday maybe I will learn to follow the signs shown to me

And wherever I do, I shall finally stand

Having found my colours of life that once had faded away.

The Fuel Paradise

2011-09-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

The other day my pop walked into the house and he said to me “son there is something waiting for you outside” and I looked at him and thought to myself when was the last time he spoke to me like that, then why cant it come in was something I wanted to say but refrained from it. So I walk a little slowly at first looking back at times and see the look on his face that says *go faster you oaf I haven’t kept a bomb outside, but I wish I had*. Well usually such things happen there is either a guy waiting out at the door incase you are a chick or kick ass sleek Ferrari glinting and sparkling in the sun all ready to go. But knowing my dad I knew he was not the type to gift me one and even before that he would have sell off the house and rent out each and every rentable item in the house to buy that damn car or even coming close to afford the seats of that car. Okay so on the reaching I open the door a bit cautiously and peer outside hoping to get at least a glimpse of what ever was waiting out there and with a sudden move I open the entire door and jump behind the huge plant near the door expecting some lunatic to rush in and smash a cake on my face and say “SURPRISE”. I was actually proud of myself for doing that felt like a scene from a Jackie Chan movie. But no such thing happened and I felt like a real jerk after that because the servant guy kept starring at me as if I was some psychopath. Okay so since nothing came in I had no other option but to go out and that sight that greeted me made go like *what the @#$%* is that now, and right in front of me stood a huge black horse. And he comes up from behind “so how do you like your new mode of transport” “transport… what transport” is all I manage to say.

Nothing shocking about this since the government has decided to increase the price of petrol to a ridiculous unheard of amount of 71 bucks. You might as well start travelling on horses or cycles or something. Imagine going back to the Stone Age, the Flintstones for that matter they had cool cars like that moved ahead as the dudes inside ran ahead. Imagine how situations would change if the fuel prices would increase further-

A romantic dinner date, guy tells girl “honey look what I got you, I spent my entire fortune behind this” and out he pulls from under the table a 5 liter can of petrol and plunks it on the table.
Imagine you getting kidnapped and the ransom would be, if you don’t want your child to be chopped to pieces my cars are in my garage “TANK FULL PLEASE”.
The fairy tales would have a new beginning, “once up on a time when petrol was 5 Rs…..”
Our history text books would have chapters dedicated to “when the price of petrol was Rs 5….’
A certain point in time when fuel stations would accept only cheques
For film stars the signing amount would be number of petrol tanks
In KBC big B would ask “aur 10 petrol can ke liye, yeh raha aapka agla sawal”
Imagine the famous scene from Vastav recreated where he holds the gold chain he is wearing and screams out “pachas tola, pachas tola”. The next time he would point to his car and yell out “pachas liter, pachas liter”

You will soon have those pestering bank dudes calling you up to take a loan to buy fuel, and that time will come soon very soon. Till then try and get free rides in every possible car, make sure you have friends with rich daddies and expensive cars and if you don’t then I don’t know what the hell you are waiting for.

HAPPY DRIVING

The Gods must be crazy!!

2011-09-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

Imagine you were to be made god for a day...

How would it feel, sitting up there and watching scores of people come in and go from all over. Praying and wishing for all the weirdest of things some if them you would laugh at saying "how the hell am I to that". But being god you know everything is possible or rather that's what people think, the extent of faith that they posses in god is sometimes unbelievable. Now visit an religious spot and you will know what I am talking about, from walking in a reverse direction to crawling on their stomachs and moving about like snakes. Religion makes you do funny things, somethings that you can't question things that were never questioned. Why they were not questioned, no one has an answer to that. Religion/God is the most powerful tool that has been used over decades to move people, its the favorite weapon of all our babu's dressed in white. But before that all of this starts from your own house, from your very own parents "if you don't eat god will punish you" what??? how does god have to anything to with me eating or no. But as kids the right to question was replied with a slap across the face and were to led to believe things that might have not been true.

Now as god people come to you with the most ridiculous demands, an ugly guy will come to you saying "dear lord please get me a beautiful wife"
"from where????"
"do I look like a marriage bureau"
"beautiful wife? look at you!! hell no!!"
Would be your first reaction but being god such things cant be said, you need to do it or you would loose out on customers to fill in your piggy bank. Not that you would get anything out of it, but what will the fat pundit eat if it remains empty. Now on second thoughts, no one thought about the poor girl.

The other most common blessing that people ask for is-
"God please give me lots of money"
"wrong place bro, this is not the Swiss bank cash withdrawal desk"

"God please give me children"
"what??? are you serious you need my help?"

"God please help me pass in my exams"
"Shut up you moron, go home and study"

Well the list can go on and on, but being a god in a country like India is something that not even the all mighty can understand.

Now consider the festival of Ganpati, that concluded recently, its a 11 day festival celebrated throughout the country. Now imagine this situation if you were to be god or for that matter I was to be god, as a part of this fanaticism that lasts for 11 days.

Its surprising how peoples reaction and perception changes over that span of 11 days, on the first day when you arrive people from all over come to pray, ask for forgiveness etc etc.
Throughout the 11 days you witness all kinds of people, some rich who want to get richer, some politician who comes to build his vote bank rather than coming and doing something fruitful.
But i guess the people get bored of doing the same shit again and again and then finally on the last day you are loaded off in huge truck and taken away to the sea. Now this procession is a fancy one, there is huge tempo/truck that is in front of you that has an entire DJ system and giant speakers. And then there are fancy lights that surround you. So basically you feel like you are in a club and you have the best seat in the house, with half the people who are not in their senses and the other half on the verge of loosing it dancing to Akon, Pitt Bull and others so you don't even feel like god any more since these guys obviously don't make music that can even be closely related to aarti's or bhajans.

Now as you reach the sea, the thought that bothers you the most is the fact that these drunk dudes are going to lift you and dump you in the sea and dance their way back home as if you meant nothing to them and the fact that they are drunk scares you all the more. So then you feel a million hands groping you at once trying to find a good hand hold, *oops someone slips* and you skip a heartbeat. Wow that was close, somehow they manage and they are near the sea and they toss you in like a pepsi can into the bin. But then its not that easy it takes a few more try's, a few more heaves and pushes before it convinces their drunk minds that you are going to hit the bottom.

But as the sun rises so do you. And then the early morning sight of the once up on a time beautiful beach looks nothing less than a dumping ground. And as you lie there on the beach with half your body parts missing, a random jogger will pick up your remains and toss you in the bin along with the frooti packs and deshi daru bottles. And as you look up at through the opening the same people who prayed in front of you throw in a half eaten corn cob and smash it lands on your face *watch it you @!$#$*.

SO MUCH FOR BEING A GOD.

But even after this i don't forget to pay my due respects to the dear lord and end up asking for a few of the ridiculous things mentioned above. :P

"Train Of Thought"

2011-09-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

I always found the railways a funny place the trains in particular. It enthralls me how you find so many different breeds of people. Now I call them breeds of people because they are no less than animals and even if you have a lingering doubt about it even for a second some thing is bound to happen that rest assured you know you were right. Now one can make several classifications of the people you encounter, one can be on the basis of direction of travel; the other can be the station. Now even before you reach the train you have take the trouble of standing in a line that is 2 times longer than the train itself, and if that is not annoying enough you have the.. oh! Yes another breed of people that you have to deal with. These guys are more on the sly side like foxes are and are also slimy like earthworms and smelly too like skunks. These guys are the ones who try to sneak in between the line to save on time. They will stand in such a strategically placed position that it becomes difficult to say if they are in the line or not. And they are the best actors in the world *at least they are better than the ones in Ramu’s movies* they pretend to be so busy on their cell phones that they would make Steve Jobs look like a ticket blacker outside a theater that has Ramu ki Aag playing. And if you tell them “bhaisab beech mai kahan” and they do the talk to the hand and you don’t know what to do. To make matters worse the man behind the counter would be the oldest dude possible that railways could employ. If you ever wanted to see a live example of exploitation and misery these are the guys to look at. They pull it off so well that you actually end up feeling bad for that tired overworked miserable face behind those glasses staring at a computer probably older than the first ever computer made. But am sure these guys are not like that, once duty is over the next destination is the near by country bar and then groove all night to the Shielas and Munnis blowing up their entire money on those pretty little flowers, by the time its time to go home the pockets are empty the senses have gone to meet the dogs and then they soon join them there since their wives throw them out *hence explaining their entire look*. And you also come across people who have the gall to come at the ticket window and ask if they are selling tickets *no man they are selling trains over here at whole sale prices*.

Now how I wish I sitting here!!

If India were ever to play a rugby or American football tournament and require a team all the selectors need to do is go to Dadar station in the evening and chill. Man I have never seen people get so excited at the sight of train, a train that does not even look good. The mere sight of the train 100 feet away makes them get all excited. And then they start getting ready, the bags come in front the channa, pop corn packets etc get stuffed in some far off corner in the bag to be devoured later or they find solace in the smelly pockets. And then as the train nears the war cry goes off “aye aye chalo cahlo” “aye ghus ne de, chal aage” followed by a string of abuses in every possible language known to man kind. And the moment they enter the compartment they behave like cockroaches exposed to light and scamper to different corners of the train looking for seats to settle down. The speed at which their heads move scanning each and every corner is unbelievable. And these are the most determined and adjusting people you will ever meet, they know there is no space on the seat they will ask you to move your ass till there is enough space to keep a 25 paisa coin and will some how manage to plant their ass there.

Women are no less; in fact they are the ones who you need to be wary off. Never get in the way of a Marathi lady in the morning. Wow they are dangerous they will abuse and insult the shit out of you. And if you are an arrogant and impudent bitch like most women traveling in the train are the least you can expect is a cat fight, which goes to the extent of cursing each others husbands being as ineffective as having to watch 3D south Indian porn in black and white.

Being in Bombay you never fall short of over smart people who think no end of themselves. And the trains are an ideal platform for these guys to showcase their skills. Everyday a train journey is like watching India is got talent *of over smart idiots*. Some will try to sit on top of the train *don’t know if there aren’t enough seats* I guess that’s a faster and easier way to get CENTER SHOCKED and have ones balls burnt to the core. Some will hang outside the door and swing like idiots as if the hanging garden and other parks were not enough to conduct their monkey [ ;-)] activities. These things like provide you with an insurance “Do this and we provide you with the best assured place in hell/heaven”.

But come what may, I still love travelling by the trains the exhilarating feeling that passes through you when you stand at the door as the train speeds by poles, buildings, make shift toilets *not to forget the sight of peoples backside that you are treated to early in the morning who are peacefully doing their job unaware of the fact that the several thousand people passing by are cursing the shit of them* and lot more things.

SAFE JOURNEY

F@#$%G Shit Happens!!

2011-08-15T06:14:00.000-07:00

And i feel like shit again for this relentless behaviour or rather state of mind. Its something like i have been possessed, my mind tends to forget about certain things that i have . And it happened again, as much as i try to prove myself not to be a scatter brain time and time again i happen to do it. And each time the proof is far more stronger that the last. But somethings never do change, i dont ever remember being like this untill recently. Forgetting names, i suck with names of people sometimes i stare at my phonebook trying to remember or recollect who i wanted to call and the harder i try it never comes to me and then i end up forgetting the entire incident. And then hours later it would dawn to me that holy hell i had to make a phone call. Forgetting song names, movie names etc etc names names and more names i hate these names...
but off late the trend has changed and i have started to have a memory losses for even my own things.
It does not comes as a surprise why i should write this post, one reason may be because i should not forget what i had to write or had on my mind. There are many things that i should or feel like writing about but by the time i sit down to write the thought is lost somewhere in some far off recesse of my brain and if i am lucky enough might just come back to me some day or the other. And yes the other reason for this is remind me of my foolishness and to kick myself everytime i read this. It may happen once, twice but this has happened way too many times for anybody's liking especially my mom, who looks at me aprehensively everytime i take something expensive or anything that has a possibility of getting lost or being forgotten in some random corner of some dingy place that i visit. And the look on her face will tell it all " if you loose this or come back without this being a part of you..." its better nothing is said any further.
And so whether it be an umbrella or simply a plastic bottle a 5 min lecture has to follow before i procede out of safety line of my home. Well its not my safety that i am talking about, its about the thing that i carry along with me that my ma is more worried about. Because she always said "you always turn up like a bad penny" this is when i had lost my 3rd umbrella. " why cant you ever learn to take care of things, what will you do when you get married"  and then i go like, wow ma what a bright idea that is. Now i am going to take my wife on each and every trip with me. And then ma would look at me and say now you are never going to get this again. And the next day i would see that same thing a brand new one though lying in its rightfull place. But then at that age i guess it was socially acceptable to be like or act an irresponsible brat, kids are supposed to care free. Well i guess that kid thing rubbed off on to me and stuck to me for a longer time than required.
And then i go and loose the first thing of my life or rather first setp of my life that gave me a sense of feeling of being grown up the sense of independence, my dear ATM card. the feeling that you get after you step out of an ATM after your very first withdrawal. Its all gone and i guess will not come again untill errr, that i don't know depends on ma if she feels am grown up enough. The fact that surprises her is i have not yet lost a single cell phone till date, and to consider i have gone and lost things that people usually dont tend to loose. Anyways the fact that my card is lost mystifies the fuck out of me. I still dont understand how and where the hell did it vanish out my pocket that was zipped right uptill the top and there was not a single not even the tinniest of holes that not even an ant could enter in my pocket. And amid all the cash i manage to loose the card and the money stayed intact.
And the moment i realised that holy hell something is missing. The first thing that came to my head is run the fuck all the way back. At first i thought i had it wont take long for me to trace back my travelled path but little did i realise that i travelled to way too many places for my own liking. But going hunting for something like a lost ATM card is hoping against hope to find it in a place like bombay which is surrounded with money mongers. Even something with money written on it will get stolen, weather if its of any monetary value or no. So getting back a lost card was being a little to optimistic. But the fear that gripped me at that very moment when it slowly settled on to me that, that piece of plastic shit is not there where it is supposed to be, the first reaction was "bhag DK bose" and as I ran you can imagine the song playing in the background and my moms first reaction was "khana ja rahe ho beta, khana to kha ke jao".
Well it was not exactly that polite and it was far more dramatic. It was said in a manner very different to what is portrayed that involved words not to be publicly stated but it meant the same damn thing. And that was followed by a million phone calls out of which i managed to cut at least a 100 before i lost patience and answered out of sheer frustration of the damn thing continuously ringing and vibrating that it created an uncomfortable sensation just because of its position. And was forced to answer and come up with a bull story which my mom obviously did not believe. And so i continued my run/walk tracing back the same path that i had come from. But then it was night so i could not see jack. but out of fear and slight glimmer of hope i continued my search all over the place. But obviously i did not find it *so the post*. So back home i went to face the wrath of my mom. And then she goes on her a famous line which begins with "i told you so...." and surprisingly everytime she has said this to me the words are always the same. And damn she is consistent, and shocking that i remember well it just may the number of times i have heard that. Well its just another of the things that i need to add to my lost list and keeps growing day by day. As a proud owner of this list i hope it grows, but i don't think my ma would approve of this not one bit.

The Winehouse Blues

2011-07-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

The 27 club

So our beloved rehab ridden Amy Winehouse is no longer with us, she passed away at the age of 27. An age to be wary of if you are musician, you never know what just might happen, you might want to randomly commit suicide or jump in a swimming pool little realizing that you don't know how to swim or might find an uncanny fondness towards drugs and die of an overdose. Better know as the 27 Club or the Curse of the 27,this age swallowed a good many musicians Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain and now Amy Winehouse. But the question remains do we include "Amy Winehouse" in this dreadful yet prestigious (prestigious just because of the stature of the people present and their contribution to the world of music) club.

But then she has already been added to it, yes I checked Wiki and there she was placed right after Kurt.
I feel there should be a separate section made, where they can place oafs like her.

But anyways since she has been added you can not do much about it. Here is a little song I wrote actually I did not write, it belongs to one of the members of the club the great "JIM MORRISON".
So all the Doors fans please forgive me for the transgression.
(PS- Roadhouse Blues is my personal favorite Doors song)

Okay so its called "The Winehouse Blues"

Yeah, keep a joint in your hand, and your nose in a pile of coke
keep a joint in your hand, and your nose in a pile of coke!
Yeah, we're goin' to snot some crack...
We're gonna have a real
Good time

Yeah, back at the rehab they got some doobies for you
Yeah, back at the rehab they got some doobies for you
And that's for the people
Who like to go down slow

So
Let us roll, amy, roll
Let us roll, amy, roll
Let us roll, amy, roll
Let us roll, all night long

Smoke it , honey, smoke it
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/d/doors/roadhouse+blues_20042683.html ]
we gotta roll, roll, roll
we gotta snot some coke, all right
Roll, roll, roll, roll
snot some coke
You gotta clean ya ganja
clean clean clean
You gotta clean ya ganja
Ya, clean

Ash it lady, Ash it lady
Give up your vows, give up your vows
Save our rehab, save our rehab
Right now

Well, I woke up this morning, I got myself a beer
Well, I woke up this morning, and I got myself a beer
The future's uncertain, and the end is always near

So
Let us roll, amy, roll
Let us roll, amy, roll
Let us roll, amy, roll

Let us roll, all night long

Well that's about it, am really sorry Amy, may your soul REST IN PEACE.

Silent Observer

2011-07-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

Its funny how small things can sometimes attract a lot of attention, its just a matter of few days ago that I was on my way home from work and I noticed something (definitely not unusual if you have stayed long enough in Bombay and by long enough I mean more than 5 minutes or so) very unusual of the usual sights that you are usually greeted with. It was a petty fight between a rick guy and his customer or rather customers (man and wife) when I arrived at the scene I witnessed the most hilarious sight of my life, the man was trying to get in from the wrong side of the auto which seemed to have angered the rick guy (am sure that's not the real reason) who yelped like a bitch who's tail might be on fire and jumped out and went straight for guy pulling him by the shirt and swinging him like a whirlwind to make him stand face to face in front of him still clinging on to his shirt. And then as if by magic a burkha clad female (supposedly his wife) popped out from the auto brandishing a plastic bag which she eventually attempted to throw at the rick guy who was making a lame attempt of trying to beat the living day lights out of the man, but she missed by miles and the bag fell just about a few feet from the rickshaw. And cursing her horrendous throw, out she jumped kicking her footwear off and rushed to her husbands rescue firing abuses in all languages and to every family member the driver could dream of to possibly possess. And from experience of watching the sad ass serials with my grand mom as a kid I tell you , you know you are in trouble when a wife comes charging towards you like a bull with a plastic bag in one hand swearing and threatening to throw it at you even though you know she has a pathetic aim and throw and matters worsen when you know she belongs from the wrong side of the border (no offense). The rick driver turned out to be a smart Alec he nicely planted the man right in between him and the charging lady who bumped into her own husband, but she did not give up using him as a shield she started to attack the driver with the plastic bag, frantically slashing it like a knife but ended up hitting her own husband and that to several times before she realized her attempts were causing more harm than good. She then decided to have a change in strategy and she tried going around her husband from the other side but the driver a puny little fellow that he was managed to hold them off both and then for the next 5 minutes the trio indulged in a game of ringa ringa roses and the crowd that had gathered around watched on amazed as they amicably went around in circles sometimes hitting the wall and then against the auto. But I guess the woman got tired of their silly game and began swinging her legs trying to kick the guy who dare lift a finger at her husband. But it did not prove to be that helpful as she ended up hitting her own husband once or twice.And when things were just about getting heated up as the husband had finally decided to be a part of the whole deal that apparently had started off because of him get involved as his female counterpart was proving to be ineffective, a guy from the crowd interrupted I guess he got bored of the lame attempt of a fight by holding of the man who suddenly realized he had a tongue and knew a hell lot of swear words as he let out a string of abuses that no one but he himself must have understood. And just about when the driver thought he had emerged winner with his chest puffed out, he received a few whacks on the head that brought him back to earth from a couple of biker boys who for some reason felt that they should also be a part of it. And that was about it end of the whole deal as I decided there was no point in hanging around anymore as I walked away a silent observer, like the many people in the that crowd and many other crowds that gather around every such fights that happen almost every hour in every corner of the city or country and do nothing about it. But it would be incorrect to say that as there are a select few who do stand up for the wrong like that gentleman who tried to act peace maker. But then who am I to complain walk away like its nobodies business. :-P

That's for the 19th!!!

2011-06-17T13:15:00.000-07:00

Here we are again to the end of yet another epic season and guess what Manchester United are going to be crowned champions yet again for the record 19^th time. And disappointment is what the others face yet again.

Well am sure the managers and owners are already plotting how to dethrone the current champions. Here’s a little guess at what the others are up to ….

Lets start off with Arsenal (make them feel happy that they are 1^st at least some where by the end of the season)

Reports suggest that Wenger has sent his scouts to the far off jungles of Africa in search of black dudes chasing gazelles (the criteria being: black, can speak little bit of French and can run fast and yes the most important the age strictly under 16) (Yes Mr. Bhende you can smile) the reason being their star striker Nicklas Bendtner has threatened to leave the club, his demands being too much for Wenger being made head coach and start all matches and Fabregas pass to him always.

Also they have managed to sign their teen sensation Jack Wilshere’s son in a pre-contract.

Wenger had earlier commented that he won’t be spending for the following season, the reason being he has placed bulk orders for fancy water bottles. It was reported that peeling of water bottle labels was his favorite pass time along with failed attempts of kicking bottle caps. Also Wenger has demanded to have facilities made on the field for emergency dumps (it seems he can’t control his urges as you have seen many times during matches). Also he plans to hire professional hair dressers (for the likes of Djourou, Sangna and Song).

Next up we have Chelsea, they seem to be the worst hit spent 50 million for a goal. But it seems Ancelotti is busy working on how to improve on the failed relationship of Drogba and Torres …

Ooppps partnership I mean. And has been taking tips form John Terry and there are rumors that JT might join the 2 up top to spice up things a bit …

John Terry has also urged Chelsea to sign fellow England team mate Peter crouch {for obvious reasons ;-)}.

John terry has also been found to be loitering outside Torres’s residence, because the last time he did he scored. But off late things have been different because Drogba and Ramires also joined in so poor Torres moved in with Ancelotti who was an ex side kick Italian thug in Mafia movies and his famous one brow raised is feared by all at Chelsea.

Big spenders Manchester City are up next, it seems that rich sheik has sold off yet another oil well to fund the ever increasing demands of Mancini of buying random oafs.

Also he has to sponsor the coaching fees for Mario Ballotelli, who has joined classes for dart throwing so that he has something to do in his past time.

Also personality development classes coz he always ends up in the wrong Kompany…

Liverpool are apparently the only ones not doing anything, well I don’t blame them they are used to seeing this since the past 20 years…

And the legend bids good bye.

The Hunt....

2011-04-15T07:26:00.000-07:00

Well having so much to do in the past one month, its come to the point where you have nothing to do. During exams the things that were interesting to do like stare at the wall, check face book time and again (just because you had nothing to do) or watch random shit on TV now don't seem interesting any more. Now one cant even peacefully sit in one corner of the house without being looked upon by your mum and dad with those eyes that say "why the hell are you still in the house" and all you can manage is a flimsy smile and look away. But then again you feel its too early to start looking for a job already but at times when your bored out of your mind you feel oh! hell lets just do it. And off you go to your computer and ask Mr. Google, well things haven't been so bad after all progress has been made, thats what you gotta tell them so that they feel happy. Its only the mornings that are boring and the sun is scorching down its hard to even imagine going out to do something. But its been a week that exams got over and 5 days since I started the whole job hunting process, well no leads so far but lets hope it happens soon.

Well all this while the mornings have been boring the nights have proved to be quite entertaining, awesome, scintillating in fact the footballing action on TV is every fans dream come true. With the El Classico happening 4 times in a span of 18 days is like orgasmic. And then we had Manchester United facing Chelsea in the quarters of the UCL and knocking them off to every red devils delight. And the 50 million worth Mr. Torres failed to score again, and you know Abrahamovich was frustrated by his priceless expressions. But then one can not fathom the pressure on Torres because of the 50 million price tag, but then there are critiques who would say if your worth that much you better be able enough to handle pressure. Another talk of the transfer window Andy the giant Carrol broke his duck with a brace against Man City and that to in style in the first 35 mins. Spurs made an exit in the quarters, but they had a dream champions league debut getting rid of the Milan neighbors. It was delight to watch them to take on the heavy weights of the competition. Well now we are nearing the end of another eventful season with a handful of games left and Manchester United are on the verge of another treble winning season. In fact 3 out of the 4 teams can win the treble Man Utd, Barca and Madrid. Well in Spain its all attention on two guys who are gonna enter a battle of individual supremacy over one another, Ronaldo and Messi. They are a the 2 leading scorers of the La Liga with 28 and 29 goals respectively.

Well lets see who proves to be the better and can take their club to glory again. '
Till then ciao...
the hunt is on for everyone now for them its the silverware and for me its the means to earn the silver..
:p

History!!!

2011-03-09T03:45:00.000-08:00

Its been an exciting month of football, not really if you are a Man United fan losing out to Chelsea and then later on to Liverpool that to with a scoreline that no United fan would have ever imagined. And to sum it all or rather I should have started with "End of the unbeaten streak" to Wolves. But history does beckon all the events that have happened, United ended their 30 match unbeaten streak to Wolves. 1999 the treble winning year had a 30 match unbeaten run. After Chelsea, Liverpool United face Arsenal in the FA cup quarter final a repeat of the year 1999. So the premier league is poised at a very interesting stage at the moment, pundits say its a 2 horse race between Arsenal and United which may be true but what destiny holds for Arsenal no one knows. Trophy less since 2005, last winning the FA cup and beating Man United at it. They were close to ending the drought this season against Birmingham in the Carling cup but then denied again, I guess the 47 year wait for a trophy by a bottom table club was far more stronger than a top flight club. And their hopes of progressing further in the champions league went out of the window after their abysmal performance against Barcelona. Where Barcelona decided just not to give the ball to Arsenal to play. And to make matters worse the ref decides to give RVP his 2nd booking of the night for time wasting, the referral system has been going from bad to worse in the past couple of games. The game against Chelsea the David Luiz incident, a blatant off the ball foul on Rooney the refs right in front no foul given. The game against Wigan, Rooney randomly goes and elbows a player in the face, no booking. Okay now else where in the La Liga Barcelona like always has cemented its place at the top. Even the big spending Madrid are trailing by 7 points. And thats a lot considering the fact that you have the likes of Ronaldo, Kaka, Benzema et Al.

There is something that the United fans can relish is the return of Antonio Valencia, they have sorely missed that beast of a player, more than any one Rooney has missed him the most. And if that requires any proof last seasons stats provide enough evidence how much Valencia aided Rooney's goal scoring prowesses. Hopefully he will return to his scoring best, all we can do is wait and watch, till then adiós.

Boxing day..

2010-12-29T12:02:00.000-08:00

It has been nights since I slept like a baby, which i usually do. But it was worthwhile if you look back on those days, after being deprived of football, where the snow acted like a total spoil sport. Boxing day as it is called in the field of sports, its the day after Christmas. The term Boxing day has different significance in different countries across the globe. But then this what people generally know Boxing day as, its the day when people of the higher class give gifts to the lower class after Christmas. The gifts were not exchanged with the lower class until the next day. Now you will wonder why give such a peculiar name , the holiday is named Boxing Day because the tradition of giving gifts of cash, food, clothing and other goods to the less fortunate were placed into boxes for easier transportation. The goods were distributed based on the family needs and their services to the giver. This tradition is extremely popular in England and other common wealth countries. Now during this day it is customary that they hold full programs of football and other sporting events. The matches are usually held against local rivals, it saves the fans from travelling across the country. This all about the history of Boxing day, a very interesting weekend it has been, Chelsea for the 1st time since quite some time dropped out of the top 4 with Spurs leap frogging into 4th place. United have nicely cemented their place at the top with comfortable win against an inform Sunderland side who were marred by injuries. But they had a bad outing at the Andrew's.
But some how the way United have started to reminds of the United of old. With Berba tipped to help them win the tittle again, a record 19th time that to over taking Liverpool in the process, who seem to be having their worst season in god knows how many years. The fans of other clubs seem to be very happy about this fact, and I don't blame them. If a once a upon time great force in English football, is suddenly battling relegation it is but obvious that it calls for celebration irrespective of the fact that your team is not performing wonders. But then their worries are far from over along with an inconsistent team, they face problems of injuries and threats of the big names leaving the club since they see no future.
Well they have their own problems, everybody does so do I. I have a presentation to give on the 1st of Jan, yes that is right after new years night. That sucks right, I don't know in what state am going to be and I don't even want to know. Am sure no one does.
Its going to be extremely hung over,
so all i say is a happy new year....
:p