Living New Possibilities

A Life's Legacy

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Tue, 19 May 2009 18:41:00 +0000

I am pleased to feature an article this week by a good friend of mine, Steve Reed. (Thank you Steve for submitting this article for publication on my BLOG.) Enjoy!

It starts with the first breath of life: a legacy is born. What will she be? What will he accomplish? What impact will she have in this world?

In the beginning of life's journey the possibilities seem almost endless - virtually unlimited. But somewhere in our development the limitations and constraints arise. One perspective is that possibilities turn to realities; consequently, most of us settle for less than we could be. Yet another perspective is that possibilities still exist - just under the surface. It seems as life goes by, reality overpowers possibility. Is this just the way it is, or has the daily routine of life caused us to miss something of vital importance? How do we get possibility back? What legacy are you creating with your life?

For most of us, it is a matter of reconnecting with who we really are and what brings meaning and significance to our life. It's about connecting with your life's purpose. Sometimes the things that we value and bring us meaning and significance change throughout our life: sometimes they don't. Regardless, it is a powerful moment when our purpose meets our passion, and suddenly we are in "flow": a psychological state of self-actualization.

According to Abraham Maslow, "flow" is a state or condition that all humans desire. Self-actualization is a state of meaningful achievement and fulfillment. Each of us want to live a life that has meaning and purpose, and leave behind a legacy we desire. Achieving or completing your life's purpose is a call to destiny. It is what should be. It's about creating your life's legacy. Where do you start? The first step is to understand and connect with the legacy you desire. It's about being intentional. What is your life's purpose? What brings you meaning and fulfillment?

Research shows that creating goals and developing plans to achieve those goals significantly increases the probability of achievement. Why? Setting a goal and creating a plan improves focus and clarity of purpose; intensifies our efforts; helps us to persevere and to follow our goals, even when the going gets difficult. And, it heightens our awareness of our environment so we can distinguish the aspects of our world that are really components of connecting with our legacy.

So what's the ultimate legacy for your life? Have you given this important matter much thought? Have you created a written legacy statement? If not, connect with your purpose, your passion, and what's at your core essence, and get started by writing your legacy statement. A thoughtful, well-crafted legacy statement is the compass you need to set course for your destiny; your life's ultimate legacy. Too busy? What could be more important? Are you defining your life by limitations or by possibilities?

In Difficult Times...Remember

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:39:00 +0000

I was out looking at the stars the other night...and it occurred to me that without darkness, we would never see the stars. And to never see the stars would be to forget that we are a part of something much larger...a vast universe.

The dark sky reminds me of the opportunity that exist for us when we are going through dark moments in our lives. Perhaps some change is taking place in your life right now that is leaving your feeling uncertain, doubtful, afraid, anxious... I wonder, what would be different for you if you stepped outside and looked up at the stars and reconnected with the vastness of which you are a part?

I have found this to be one of the most powerful ways to navigate through a dark moment in my life: to remember and to step into a bigger perspective. And what I have noticed is that no matter how dark it gets, there is always light shining (like the stars). There is always a reminder that there is a bigger perspective that is beyond my experience.

We often forget this more vast perspective when we are going through a dark time. Yet, without the darkness, much would remain unknown and unrevealed to us. Just like without the darkness, we would never see the beauty of the night sky, and we would never be reminded of the larger aspects of our lives.

In the day we have the sunshine. I love times in life like this. When things are moving along nicely - when I can clearly see what is in front of me because of the sunlight. And on these sunny days we can look up, see the clouds and the blue sky. It is truly beautiful! And I've also realized that if all we could see were the blue sky and the white puffy clouds, then we would forget... we would forget the vastness of what we belong to. We would forget the larger picture and purpose of our lives.

The best is truly both worlds. Both the day and the night. The good times and the not so good times. The smaller perspective of where we are now, and the larger perspective emerging from the future. In each we discover the beauty and magnificence of who we are and what is possible.

So, whether you are going through a difficult time right now or not, don't forget to look up. And why not visit the night sky and see, and feel, and embrace that vastness of which you are part. YOU are an expression of all of that.

Be bold and live powerfully!

Denver

Four Gateways to Greatness

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:00:00 +0000

I recently completed a twelve-week practice in which I asked four questions three times a day. It was a powerful experience, because each time I answered the questions - especially in the first month and half - I found myself answering in deeper and deeper ways.

As a result of this practice, I came up with what I call "Four Gateways to Greatness" - which summarizes what I learned for myself from the practice.

Here are the four gateways:

ONE: Wake Up

This is an invitation to continually wake up to the best of who I am and what I have to offer the world. It also includes waking up to the internal and external dynamics that are blocking me from being my best.

TWO: Let Go

This is an invitation to let go, to release. And here there are two things to let go of that tie back to waking up: letting go of the best that I have to offer, allowing it to live in my relationships and conversations. (Sometimes we find ourselves holding on to our greatness thinking that we can protect it. It's meant to be given.) And then there is letting go of the barriers. Yes, they need to be released - set free - so that the Greatness they are blocking can flow freely into the world.

THREE: Allow God

This is an invitation to allow God to express through me. That my hands would be God's hands. My eyes, God's eyes. My feet, God's feet. My embrace, God's embrace. This is a connection to something much greater than myself. This is to remember to allow Life to flow through me in service to others.

FOUR: Step Out

This is an invitation to step out - into the world - so that the Greatness within me can be of value. Step out - even when it's uncomfortable or uncertain. Step out - so that as Life flows through me my presence nurtures others. This is about engaging the world through powerful actions.

I have been wanting to share this with you for some time. Perhaps there is value here for you, or perhaps just a reminder to (1) be mindful of how you are showing up in the world, (2) share the best of who you are with others, and (3) don't resist Life, but allow it to flow through you freely in service to others, and (4) live boldly and courageously by actively engaging the world around you.

Thanks for being a regular reader of my blog - please let others know about it and invite them to subscribe!

Live powerfully,
Denver

If Your Life Was a Book...

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 15:06:00 +0000

If your life was a book, what would the next chapter be about?

It's easy to forget that we are the authors of our life experience. Yes, we can design our lives. We can, through our imagination, create compelling visions for the various areas of our lives and then begin to take the steps to make those visions a living reality.

What is the vision you have for the next chapter of your life?
Are you living TODAY as the author of your own life experience?
Who will you need to become to live the vision that you have for the next chapter of your life?

Regardless of what the earlier chapters of your life have been, today you can begin writing a new chapter. Give yourself permission to be powerful. To be bold. And to live your vision courageously!

-Denver

Changing Times: A Better Option than "Coping"

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:16:00 +0000

The news media is really getting people hyped up about the economy and the conditions in the world. Have you noticed? Even our President seems to be resorting to fear to get legislation passed. How are you feeling about all of this?

As I'm out listening and talking to people, I'm hearing more and more people expressing fear and uncertainty about the future. And many are moving into a coping mode - dealing with the stress and anxiety with all of their favorite coping techniques: over-eating, drinking, smoking, entertainment, blaming, over busyness, waiting to see what happens, feeling hopeful that a hero will step in and save the day... you know, all the classic coping techniques that provide a temporary relief, but really don't leave you feeling empowered and alive.

So, I thought it might be a good time to introduce you to something different - something much more powerful than just "coping." Let's begin with the good news: COPING is not the only option! But before we look at another option, let's take a closer look at "coping."

The psychological definition of coping is, "the process of managing taxing circumstances, expending effort to solve personal and interpersonal problems, and seeking to master, minimize, reduce or tolerate stress or conflict." As you can see, coping has a focus on "taxing circumstances," "problems," and "stress or conflict." This is certainly a focus of the media and many people's conversations today.

Here's a question to reflect on: "Am I walking through life primarily focused on burdensome circumstances, problems, stress, and conflict?" If you find yourself with this focus, how is this impacting your health, relationships, and your future?

If you discover that you spend your life mostly coping, the unfortunate outcome is that your greatest gift, your greatest contribution that you can offer the world, will remain arrested inside of you. You'll be spending the vast amount of your time and energy coping with unfavorable circumstances and the related stress instead of fully living your gift. More than likely, you'll find yourself saying something like, "As soon as things get better, then I'll show up and really live." However, if coping becomes a habit and a way of seeing the world, you will discover you never get enough problems solved - and the time is never quite right - to really show up and give your best.

Now, I'm not saying there is anything "wrong" with coping. It's a great skill. However, it's not a great "way of life." So, what is a better option than coping?

Creating!

Creating is about bringing into existence something you love, something that matters to you. It's about creating something that is of benefit to others. This could be a result, a product, an experience, a relationship, a business, a state of being. Here we can ask: "Am I walking through life focused on creating what matters most to me?" Choosing to be a creator is a much more powerful way to live your life! Each day is a day to create, to play, to live life fully! Imagine living each day as a gift in which you - through the power of choice - step boldly into your world and create experiences that truly matter to you, experiences that enrich your life and the life of those around you!

I know...I can hear some of your objections already. "But Denver, how can I create what matters most to me when there's so much uncertainty in my life and the world?" The answer is, you can. There is no way to take the uncertainty out of the future - ever. And the good news is, you don't have to! You do not need circumstances to be a certain way in order to create what matters most to you. In fact, your ability to create (and our ability to create collectively) is what will shift circumstances for the better. What the world needs most is not another government bailout. What the world needs is each of us stepping up - stepping out - and powerfully showing up as the creators that we are. But we've somehow sold out, believing that the best we can do is cross our fingers, rely on our leaders, hope for the best, and cope our way through. I'm inviting you to CREATE your way through this challenging time - and in fact - through the rest of your life.

Are you focused primarily on coping or creating? The answer will determine the quality of the rest of your life. If you have discovered that you spend a great deal of your time and energy coping instead of creating, and you would like to transform your life so you are living as a creator, then I invite you into a coaching relationship with me. Educating and supporting others in being a creative force in the world is central to my work. Simply e-mail me at denver@relationshipfitnessonline.com, and we'll explore the possibility of working together!

Changing times... your invitation to be a gift to the world. Are you ready?

Know Any "Difficult" People?

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 19:17:00 +0000

Difficult people... know anyone like that?

OK, so join me here on a little adventure. First, think of someone in your life that you really feel is "difficult." It could be your spouse, a child, a co-worker, your boss, a neighbor.

Got someone? Great!

Now, draw up an image of them in your mind. Yes, there they are... Now, allow yourself to get in touch with what it's like for you when you are with this person... Not only notice how you feel about them, but also notice how you feel about yourself when you are with them...

Now, for just a moment, drop the idea that this person is a "difficult" person. For now - just in this moment - let go of thinking about this person as "difficult." See them as a human being on a journey, just like you. As you do this, begin to notice how differently you feel about the other person... AND... notice how differently you feel about yourself...

Just notice...

Pretty cool, huh? You see, when we see others as "difficult" and get all "bent out of shape" because of it - who is that we are becoming? And, when we drop the judgment of "difficult" (or any other label) - and allow ourselves to see the other person with FRESH eyes, who is that they get to become and who is that we get to become?

The invitation here is to drop the judgment "difficult" (which belongs to you) and replace it with curiosity (which creates a new possibility): What's going on for them that is causing them to behave this way? What concern are they attempting to take care of? What are the commitments they are attempting to fulfill? What can you notice about this person that you've never noticed before? AND - get curious about yourself... why does this person set me off? What do I see in myself that is similar to what I see in them? What is this experience teaching me about myself? Does "difficult" describe them, or does it describe my own lack of ability to handle myself around them?

Consider this:

One of the most powerful ways to transform our relationship with another person is to be a space of possibility when we are with them. In other words, we show up in such a way that our presence creates a space in which the other person can show up differently if they chose to. This is a very loving thing to do.

Just imagine being a person that is a loving presence in which other people - yes, even the "difficult" ones - can show up and explore new possibilities for who they can be and what they can do! We all want and need an environment filled with people who believe in us and what is possible for us. And YOU can be that environment for others!

And when we drop the label "difficult" and allow ourselves to get curious about the other person - and commit to BEING a space of possibility for others, amazing things can and will happen. Creating such a space in our relationships creates an opening in which those involved can venture out - beyond their self-imposed limitations - and explore being someone greater in the world!

Be a gift to others...

-Denver

"Relationship Fitness" and Midlife

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 13:45:00 +0000

My services are targeted primarily to people who are in midlife. That is such a dynamic time of life, isn't it? The midlife passage begins for most at around the age of 38. This is a time when we begin to ask new questions. It's a time when we begin to realize that what carried us so successfully through the first half of life just isn't going to carry us through the challenges of the second half. For many, the midlife years are an invitation from Greatness to step more fully into the quest to discover their own truth - and to live it fully.

What are the midlife years inviting you into?

When I was building my website, I spent a considerable time thinking about what to call it. I chose "Relationship Fitness Online" because my work as a Transformational Life and Wellness Coach is really about helping individuals in midlife to transform how they are relating in the various relationships of their life.

Consider. You have a relationship with many things in life.

A relationship with your body.
A relationship with your thoughts, feelings, and moods.
A relationship with other people.
A relationship with events that occur.
A relationship with your past and future.
A relationship with a culture.
A relationship with God.
And so on...

Relationship Fitness is all about making these various relationships in your life optimally healthy. And this involves becoming masterful at relating. The quality of your relationships is - right now - determining the quality of your life and your future.

So, how do we improve the quality of our relationships? To dramatically improve the relationships in your life requires that you become masterful at being an Observer. Once you can observe something, you are in a relationship with it.

For example, let's say that a person is experiencing a great deal of problems in their life because they are not aware of what is going on for them emotionally. As a coach, I would work with this person in designing some self-observation exercises where they would begin to observe what they are feeling as they move through the day. Once they can observe a feeling, they can decide how they will relate to it. As they become more mindful of their own emotions, they can choose to create a healthy relationship (improve their "Relationship Fitness") with those emotions. Now, instead of being ruled by their emotions, they can choose how they will relate to them and manage them. This will in turn open up many new possibilities for the client.

The interesting thing about midlife is that the state of health of our relationships really begins to reveal itself. It's as if Life is saying, "It's time to get serious about who you are - and how you are relating."

If you're in midlife and facing challenges in your relationships, feel free to give me a call at 812-299-0214. I'd enjoy the opportunity to explore working with you in creating relationships that are optimally healthy and making the second half of your life truly amazing!

-Denver

President Obama and Your Future

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:39:00 +0000

The election of our new President, Mr. Obama has been an inspiring event for me. It's reached in and touched something deep and profound in people. I've seen it in their eyes. That sparkle. That look of hope and inspiration. That belief that there can be something better emerge from within us, within our country, and within the world.

For me, the most exciting aspect is the invitation of our new President for people to truly step forward and to get involved. He's inviting us to take an active role, to truly step into the moment with our gifts and talents and lend a helping hand to ourselves, others, the country, and the world. It's an invitation that seems - to me - to somehow reach beyond our borders. I can't help but think that it is an invitation heard around the world.

In order to accept this invitation, each of us will need to learn to rise above the limitations of the circumstances in which we find ourselves. As a coach, this is one of my greatest opportunities in working with others: to help them live their lives powerfully - to BE their greatness - despite the circumstances.

If you live your life defined solely by the circumstances in which you find yourself, how will you ever live beyond them?

And what would be possible, if you learned how to live powerfully, despite the circumstances you find yourself in?

For many, circumstances are seen as the source of their happiness and power. Many think: "As soon as my circumstances change for the better, then I will be happy - then I will show up and offer the best of who I am." As soon as I make enough money... As soon as I feel better... As soon as my spouse changes... As soon as I get that new job... As soon as I lose 25 pounds... If you wait for circumstances to change, you may wait most of your life away. If you wait, you will suffer.

Everyday, life offers us what it offers us. And everyday, Life is asking us: "Despite what is here in front of you now, who do you choose to be?" Despite the circumstances in which you find yourself - job lay off, divorce, financial problems, health issues, etc. - who do you choose to be?

It will take a deep courage and a willingness to self-author who we are if we are truly going to be a gift to the world... if we are truly going to offer our greatness to the world... if we are truly going to create and live new possibilities for ourselves and others. This is true not only for us individually, but for us as a country and for all of us as citizens of the world.

If you are ready to learn what it takes to accept the President's invitation to be a contribution, and if you are ready to live your greatness despite your current circumstances, then give me a call (812-299-0214) or e-mail me at denver@relationshipfitnessonline.com. I'd love to hear from you and would enjoy exploring how we could work together to turn your intentions into a living reality!

You are a gift to the world. BE that gift TODAY!

-Denver

Stepping Into Your Greatness in 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:32:00 +0000

Do you believe in your own greatness?

Agreed, "greatness" is not often the subject of our conversations around the kitchen table or in the workplace. The idea of being GREAT almost sounds too "out there" to be a serious consideration for many people. Perhaps it's seen as only something professional actors, musicians, and athletes pursue.

Nevertheless, there is greatness within you. And I'm wondering as you read this, if you are aware of that - and more importantly - in what ways you are living your own greatness right now.

Perhaps you've noticed that our modern culture is not really geared toward people discovering and living their greatness. You don't have to be your greatness to watch TV, shop, use your iPhone or iPod, go to the movies, or - in many cases - perform your job.

So why bother with being GREAT?

Stepping into your greatness is about being a gift - a contribution - to the world. It's about living beyond the mediocrity that our modern culture often invites us into. It's about believing in yourself and the value that you have to offer others. It's about continuous learning and growth. It's about living fully in each moment, bringing the best of who you are into this moment right now. It's about mastering your craft and offering it to the others for their edification and growth. It's about seeing the people and environment around you with fresh eyes, seeing the miracle that other people are and honoring and celebrating it. It's about allowing Life - God - to express through you fully - to actually become the very hands, eyes, and expression of divinity right now, in this moment.

What does it mean to YOU to be great?

And what would be possible for you this year if you challenged yourself to step into your own greatness, and then to step boldly into your family, workplace, and the world as the gift that you?

In service to the your greatness,
Denver

Now Is The Time to Step Forward

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:50:00 +0000

As you know, there is a lot of uncertainty in the world today. And for some, this will be reason enough to batten down the hatches and hold on tight. One of the effects of fear and anxiety is that they cause us to contract and tense up, minimizing the amount of energy we have available to reach out and contribute. We lose clarity of thought. And our capacity to act can actually shrink.

The world is certainly full of challenges today. I'm sure you are feeling the effects within yourself, in your family, at work, and in your community. But to stay primarily focused there - on all the problems - can make you feel powerless and resigned. But as a friendly reminder...

You can choose what you focus your attention and energy on.

You can choose.

What difference would it make to you and others if you were to focus your attention and energy on making a contribution today? What would be possible if you saw yourself as BEING a contribution?

You know, there's a common underlying question that we find ourselves asking often: "What's in it for me?" That's about getting something from the moment and the people you are with. But I think there is an even more powerful question: "What's in it for them?... now that I have shown up?" That's about giving to the moment and the people you are with. Yes, you can be a powerful contribution to the people that you encounter everyday... your children, spouse, co-workers, gas station attendant, stranger on the street, your boss...

How will you be a contribution today?

This is certainly not the time for us to hold back our contributions and our gifts. This is not the time to become paralyzed with fear, doubt, and uncertainty. It's a time to step forward and share the gift that you are to others. Action that is based in serving and contributing is a great way to absorb anxiety and fear. And even more importantly, it's a great way to liberate your gifts and infuse your life with energy and meaning. That is wellness in action!

Live the gift that you are.

- Denver

Are You Suppressing Your Potential?

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:09:00 +0000

I will be turning 41 years old in December of this year. And I will freely admit that stepping into my forties has brought a variety of new questions and awareness into my life.

One of the things I have been exploring lately involves the question: What happens to an individual when they are knowingly or unknowingly suppressing their potential? Of course, the first place I look with such an inquiry is into my own life. In what ways am I suppressing my own potential? What are the emotional and mental consequences of suppressing potential? How is suppressing my own potential impacting my marriage and relationships?... my business?

What I am discovering is quite liberating and at times quite uncomfortable. I am feeling fully the frustration and distress that shows up when I find myself suppressing my potential. I am noticing the impact it's having on my relationship with myself, my wife, my children, and others in general. And I notice how easy it can be to dismiss what is really going on inside of me by looking - for example - at the economy and saying things like, "Well, how else would you expect a person to feel with the economy in the shape that it's in?"

What I am discovering through my own inquiry and investigation around this topic is that it is painful and exhausting to suppress one's potential. It takes a lot of energy to hold back what is alive within you.

Perhaps you would like to join me on this exploration. If so, here are some questions to ask yourself reflectively that you may find useful:

In what ways am I holding back the expression of who I truly want to be?
What is this 'holding back' costing me energetically? How is holding back impacting my relationships and my self-confidence?
What is the greatest gift that I have yet to share with the world?
What can I do today to express more of my potential and to be a gift to the world?

Step fully into your potential. The world awaits your greatness!

-Denver

One Incredible Way to Transform ANY Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 15:42:00 +0000

Are you experiencing challenges in a relationship that is important to you? Perhaps it's your relationship with your spouse, or a child, a coworker, your boss...or even yourself. If so, let me share with you one incredible - and simple - way to create transformation in that relationship starting right NOW:

Deliberately choose what you focus your attention on.

What you choose to place your attention on is what you give life to. What you choose to focus on is what is determining the quality of your relationships and life right now. If you focus your attention on what you think is wrong with your boss, for example, then you are bound to be frustrated and discouraged when relating to your boss. It will be an unsatisfying relationship.

What do you find yourself giving your attention to when you are relating to your boss? What is that doing to you emotionally, physically, and mentally? What would be possible for you (and your boss) if you deliberately chose to focus on something more positive and life-enriching?

If you want to transform your relationship with your boss (or anyone), then work on deliberately shifting your attention...focusing on what you respect or appreciate or value about the person you are relating to. Instead of focusing on who you think they should be in the relationship, deliberately focus your attention on who you really want to be in the relationship...and step forward as that person!

Deliberately choosing your focus of attention takes practice...but it is one practice that when done regularly will literally transform your relationships and the quality of your life.

What are focusing your attention on?

How Coaching Can Help You Navigate Change

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 19:14:00 +0000

We live in a dynamic and quickly changing world, and this creates a number of challenges for us individually and collectively. A lot of change happens in the world without our knowing about it. But with the recent increases in gas and food prices, we are getting a first-hand experience of changes that are truly global in nature. I think as time moves on, we will realize more and more just how interconnected we all are and just how quickly changes in one part of the world can impact all of us.

Isn't it amazing how quickly things can change? For example, just recently we experienced some major flooding here in Indiana which created a lot of loss for a large number of people. We went to bed one night like any other night. And we woke up the next morning with water flowing through our yards, into our homes...wiping out businesses, carrying away bridges, and causing us to ask questions like "Now what?" As a result of the floods, many have lost their personal belongings including their homes. What makes this change so impacting? It was so large in scope that it impacted our entire community. That is the type of change we are all beginning to experience more and more of in our world today...large scale change that is causing rifts across the board.

One of the major purposes of coaching is facilitate learning and growth. As our world quickly changes one thing is certain: we are going to need to expand our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual capacities if we are going to effectively and sanely navigate current and future changes. What exactly does that mean? We are going to have to learn how to stand in the middle of rapid change as responsible and aware people who are able to make powerful choices. This will require good physical health, emotional resilience, mental clarity and focus, and a strong sense of meaning and purpose that runs deeper than the changing world around us. And it will require healthy relationships with others and the ability to communicate effectively.

But let's understand. Coaching is not just about developing the competencies necessary to deal with a changing world, it's also about learning what it takes to CREATE a new world. Just consider...the thousands of people who have been displaced from their homes and their work as a result of the recent floods not only are dealing with the loss, but also the reality of needing to start over. To renew and reinvent their lives. And coaching is a profession that is all about teaching and supporting people in learning how to create lives that are truly meaningful and fulfilling. We aren't taught how to do that in our schools...or in our businesses. But that is what the coaching profession is up to.

Coaching can help you to navigate change by teaching and supporting you in expanding your mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational capacities. As a result of being active in a coaching relationship, you become a more empowered, aware, and resilient individual who can take a stand in a world that is quickly changing. You learn new ways of thinking, new ways of acting, new ways of perceiving, new ways of being that open up new possibilities for you. You learn how to manage your energy and channel it into taking powerful actions that create a meaningful and fulfilling life that has a lasting impact for yourself, those around you, and the world at large.

What will be the impact on you, your family and your business if the rate of change exceeds your ability to effectively handle it? What would be possible for you if you learned the skills, mindsets, and ways of being that allowed you to step even more boldly into a changing world as an individual committed to making a difference from a place of courage and strength?

I would like to invite you to learn more about what coaching can do for you personally. And it won't cost you a thing to do it. Simply give me a call. I would enjoy speaking with you, answering your questions, and giving you an experience in one of the most exciting professions on the planet today...that of personal coaching. My phone number is (812) 299-0214, or you can reach me by e-mail at denver@relationshipfitnessonline.com.

Thanks for stopping by!

Beyond Survival Is The Power of Choice

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:07:00 +0000

One of the interesting things about advances in technology and the use of petroleum products is that is has relieved many of us from the focus of survival. It's given us a new level of freedom that far transcends what our ancestors enjoyed. Many of our ancestors during the Agricultural Age spent a great deal of their time tending to fields, gardens, and the basic functions of staying alive. In many respects, their choices were extremely limited. They knew what they were going to do each day. It was a simple way of life: a good day of work on the farm, followed by time with the family or neighbors. Simple. A simplicity that many seem to be longing for today.

Many of us are blessed with a freedom afforded to us by advances in technology. Technology makes our lives easier, freeing our time to pursue other things. Now we are blessed with a freedom that requires that people learn the skills of self-management. Now, more than ever, we have a growing need to learn how to make good choices for our lives - and the lives of others. Much of the complexities of our lives today comes from the reality that there are so many choices available to us. Which ones are the best ones?

The globalization of our world is also adding to the need for greater self-management. More and more we are realizing that our choices - from small ones to larger ones - are impacting more and more people. People used to be somewhat limited in their impact on the world. They lived in small communities, and their influence often stayed within that community. Now, we have things like the internet (which I'm using right now) to reach out and touch people from all over the world! The choice I am making to write these words could have a large impact on many people in many different parts of the world.

I for one can attest to the challenge of making good choices in a world that offers so many. Often, I find myself attracted to a variety of things that I could easily choose, but which would quickly overwhelm me.

The need to be clear on who we are and what is most important to us has never been greater. I see my coaching service as a space in which people can come and safely explore and learn how to create what matters most to them. A place where people can learn how to make great choices that honor their lives today - and in the future.

Today, many of us live in a world that provides us with the opportunity to make choices that will evolve our lives to higher and higher levels. We can only achieve our potential, however, if we know how to make great choices that benefit ourselves and the world around us. And what is required to do that is understanding the fullness of who you are, knowing what is most important to you, and learning how to create results in your life that will not only bless your own life, but the lives of those around you.

The Power of Gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 20:43:00 +0000

Gratitude is powerful. In fact, when I went through a divorce several years ago, one of the strangest assignments my counselor gave me to do was to express gratitude for everything that I was experiencing: the pain, the discomfort, the major life changes, the affair my wife was having, the financial difficulties that were resulting, the broken dreams... It was a challenge, but it made a remarkable difference. It was the beginning of a major healing.

Gratitude is powerful because it invites us into an accepting relationship with life and what is occurring in life. It's a pathway to some incredible peace, and a catalyst to an open mind and heart that results in an expanded awareness and personal transformation.

Try it out. Take a look at your life right now. Stop for a moment and express gratitude for everything you have and everything you're going through. And say it verbally - out loud. "I am grateful for..." And as you express gratitude for the "good" and the "bad" in your life, notice how you feel. Notice how it changes the relationship with the person or thing that you are expressing gratitude for.

And if you'd really like to make this powerful, make it a ritual. First thing in the morning, express gratitude for at least 10 things in your life. And before you go to bed, express gratitude for 10 things in your life.

With this simple practice, you'll notice a release of stress, a renewed sense of energy, and a transformed relationship with life.

And, by the way, I'm grateful you stopped by today!

Global Warming - The Health of Our Planet

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:56:00 +0000

I received a letter from Environmental Defense stressing once again how the situation of global warming is growing worse, and even more importantly, that we must take action now to stop it.

Here's a quote from the letter I received - "Scientist at NASA recently announced that 2005 was the warmest year ever recorded. During the past three decades, the earth's temperature has risen nearly one degree Fahrenheit. According to James E. Hansen, Director of NASA's Goddard Institute of Space Studies, another increase of about four degrees would 'imply changes that constitute practically a different planet.'"

A statement from the letter really caused me to pause and think. Here it is: "Within as little as a decade we may reach the 'tipping point' when our planet is radically, irreparably altered."

Irreparably altered. Chilling.

It would seem that it is time for us to take the health of our planet more seriously. As we each know, but often seem to forget, our health is intricately connected to the health of the Earth. Have you ever met someone who neglected their own health to the point where it was "irreparably altered"? I'm sure you have, and I believe it is naive of us to believe that the Earth could not also come to such a point.

Just as when addressing personal health, I don't believe we have to be scared in order to take action. We can approach this situation with a sense of calmness and a sense of constructive action. Environmental Defense has prepared a really nice website that provides ways that each of us can help out. One of the simplest is to check the air pressure in your vehicle tires; make sure they are inflated to the recommended level.

To view other ways that you can help fight global warming, please visit http://www.fightglobalwarming.com.

At RelationshipFitnessOnline.com we focus on the health and wellness of us as individuals and the various areas of our lives. Let's allow our focus to expand even further, and not forget about our beautiful home, planet Earth. It too has a life that must be sustained and cared for.

Please visit http://www.fightglobalwarming.com for simple ways that you can help out.

How Do You Define "Health"?

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 13:42:00 +0000

I think this is a profound question: "How do you define health?" Knowing what "health" means to you is an important first step in making sure that you are healthy. You cannot create health if you don't know what it means to you.

Here are some definitions of health written in 1853 by Dr. T.L. Nichols. As you read these definitions, see how they compare with your thinking about what health means to you.

"HEALTH, in a human being, is the perfection of bodily organization, intellectual energy, and moral power.

"HEALTH is the fullest expression of all the faculties and passion of man acting together in perfect harmony.

"HEALTH is entire freedom from pain of body and discordance of mind.

"HEALTH is beauty, energy, purity, holiness, happiness.

"HEALTH is that condition in which man is the highest known expression of power and goodness of his Maker.

"When a man is perfect in his own nature, body, and soul, perfect in their harmonious adaptations and action, and living in perfect harmony with nature, with his fellow man, and with God, he may be said to be in a state of HEALTH."

I really like that! Isn't that a beautiful definition of health? If you like it, no doubt you would enjoy The Relationship Fitness Coaching Program. I work with clients on a holistic approach to health and relationships, promoting what I call "Whole-Life Wellness." It's all about YOU creating a state of Personal Health and Relationship Health that empowers you to live in harmony with life and to express your greatness in ever-expanding ways!

So, how do you define health?

How Will You Live Today? Consider This...

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 15:04:00 +0000

Today, let's consider a few simple, yet profound questions:

What is the theme for your life TODAY? (e.g. "Fun!" "Enjoyment" "Service" etc.)
If who you are TODAY and what you do TODAY were going to be your legacy to the world, who would you want to BE today, and what would you want to DO today? In other words, what will be the legacy you leave when this 24- hour period is over?
Consider: When you encounter others today, you have the opportunity to be a CONTRIBUTION to them. What would you like to contribute to the lives of those you meet today?

What is really nice about these simple questions when applied to today only is that it takes big ideas like "leaving a legacy" and "making a difference/contribution" and puts them into the context of just this day - right now. Once you can live a theme today, leave a legacy today, and make a contribution today, then you can do it for a lifetime!

Take a moment to learn more about The Relationship Fitness Coaching Program at www.RelationshipFitnessOnline.com. As you personal Life and Wellness Coach, I am committed to helping you live a healthier, happier, and higher quality of life. Visit my website today, and feel free to call me with any questions: Denver Hudson, (812) 299-0214.

Lighten Your Load

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 15:24:00 +0000

by Life and Wellness Coach, Denver Hudson

At RelationshipFitnessOnline.com, we focus on creating as a way of life. Creating optimal wellness. Creating dynamic relationships. Creating personal excellence. And one of the things I have noticed, not only in my own life, but in the life of my clients is the challenge of creating when we are weighted down with the extra "stuff" of life.

To be effective at creating a thriving business and life, it's important to lighten the load. Here are a couple of suggestions on how to do that:

Simplify Externally and Internally

Typically, we are encouraged to simplify our life externally. Get rid of the clutter. Delegate. File your papers. And so on. And those are great suggestions and something you might want to look at doing.

But simplifying your life internally is more important. What does internal simplifying look like? To simplify internally means to get clear - real clear - on what is most important to you and what you want to create in your business and life. When you know what you really want (stated in a compelling vision) and what is most important to you (your personal values), you naturally begin to simplify your life. The "nonessentials" begin to fall away! You begin to lighten your load!

As a Life and Wellness Coach, this is one of the things that I help individuals to do: to simplify their life, create a compelling vision, and discover and live their personal values.

Set Them Free

Another great way to lighten your load is to use the phrase "I Set You Free." This is practicing the power of acceptance and release as you engage everyday reality. Acceptance is to allow things and people to be what they already are, so you can be more of who you are!

It's difficult - if not impossible - to create what you really want in life, and to honor what is most important to you, if you're always trying to fix or avoid the problems of other people or things. When you set them free to be where they already are and who they already are, you are then free to create and influence in powerful ways! You will then notice things changing naturally and sometimes effortlessly.

So, beginning today, try on the phrase, "I set you free." You can say this mentally when you are told "no" by a client. "Client, I set you free to say no." Now you are in a position to better serve them! You can say this mentally to your spouse when they wake up in a bad mood. "Honey, I set you free to be in a bad mood." Now you are free to love them and support them (and don't be surprised if their mood changes for the better!) You can say this to your emotions when they get in the way: "Anger, I set you free."

Once you set something or someone free, then you are free to make wise choices, ones that move you in the direction of what you want to create! You are then free to express what is most important to you! You are free to make a difference in our world!

This week, try out these suggestions: (1) Simplify your life both externally - and more importantly - internally, and (2) set the people and things in your life free, so you are free to create and express the things that matter the most to you.

Embracing Failure on the Way to Success

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:22:00 +0000

There's a great saying that goes something like this: "We fail our way to success." There's truth in that, as you and I both could share examples of how we have failed and learned some great things from it.

Have you noticed how we resist failure? Sure, we don't want to fail, but have you noticed how we RESIST it? We incorporate all kinds of interesting ways to avoid the very situations that could teach us just what we need to learn - or perhaps exactly what we have asked to learn. I believe that when we run from what we typically call failure, or work hard at avoiding it, then we are actually running from life and what it has to teach us.

What would happen in our lives if we made the choice to begin embracing failures along the way instead of resisting them or fighting like mad to avoid them? Just imagine all that we might learn and what we might accomplish!

Suppose further that we just did away with the whole idea of failure, period. What if "success" and "failure" were nothing more than an idea in our head - a story that we entertain, or perhaps entertains us? Suppose that we just let those ideas and stories go? What new possibilities would emerge in our lives then?

As a Life and Wellness Coach, one of the things that often comes out during coach is what people define as success. This is a great exercise. To spend a few minutes, hours, or perhaps months figuring out exactly what "success" means to you. Then, to take equal time to consider what "failure" means to you. And - as a final step - consider giving up both of those stories ("success" and "failure") and see what possibilities might emerge beyond them!

And while you're on your journey, I invite you to consider working with me personally as a participant in The Relationship Fitness Coaching Program. Isn't it time to feel better, relate better, and live better?

Enjoy the gift of this moment...

The Beauty of Life - Witness It!

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:42:00 +0000

First, Happy New Year to all of you! Personally, I'm looking forward to a wonderful year of health, happiness, and prosperity. And I am looking forward to meeting many of you who are currently reading this entry.

Second, I want to recommend a beautiful resource that I purchased over the holiday break. It's incredibly inspiring and has given me an even deeper appreciation for life and the beauty of this planet we call Earth. It's a DVD published by http://www.consciousone.com called "I AM ONE," the ConsciousOne DVD. You can visit their website and see a clip from the DVD. The first sequence I watched included scenes of our earth from outer space. It was so moving I found myself in tears. The beauty of this planet and the life we have is incredible. I hope you'll purchase a copy and allow it to inspire, calm, and teach you.

Enjoy the gift of this moment.

Goals for the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 20:20:00 +0000

A new year is quickly approaching and we often begin to think about the various things that we would like to accomplish in the new year.

As you ponder on your goals for the upcoming year, and after you have written them down on paper, consider asking the following question for each goal you have written:

Does this goal feel more like an obligation or an opportunity?

Have a GREAT holiday season!

-Denver

How Do You Know If You Are Healthy?

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:16:00 +0000

I was talking to a friend yesterday and the question came up, "So how does one know they are healthy anyway?" In fact, what does it even mean to be "healthy"? Of course, there are many possibilities, and the most important answer for you is YOUR answer.

So, what does it mean to YOU to be healthy?

Is it merely an absence of pain, illness, disease?...
Is it the presence of something like vitality, flexibility, and joy?...

My observation is that many people see health mostly from a physical perspective. And that health is often defined as the absence of pain, illness, or some type of disease. For example, have you met someone who says, "Oh, I don't need to exercise - I'm already healthy! I feel fine."

Perhaps a better way to assess your health is to look at the projected outcomes of the way you are living. For example, if you aren't exercising very much, what is the accumulated effect over time of not doing so? That, in my opinion, is a better measure of health. If you're eating a great deal of junk food or "empty calorie" food, the measure of health is not so much how you feel at the moment (you might be greatly satisfied), but it's more about the accumulated effect of those types of actions over time. In other words, are people who eat mostly junk food for their diet creating health? Are their habits healthy?

I think this is critical point. Because our health is not a fixed state. We don't achieve health and then it's always there. Health - whether it's physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual - is a by-product of the various choices that we make about it every day and the accumulated effect of those choices. The process is the same whether we are creating illness and diseases or vibrancy and joy: consistent choices over time.

Think about many of the people who have a heart attack or stroke. It wasn't a matter of, "yesterday my heart was totally healthy, today it failed me." Heart attacks are usually a result of consequences that have accumulated over time due to the choices one makes over time.

I guess my point is that health is something that is best defined with a span of time in mind versus just how you feel at this present moment. The absence of pain, illness, or disease does not necessarily equate to good health. A person's true health is not measured just by the current state of their body-mind-spirit, but - more importantly - by the types of choices they are committed to taking and do take over time.

Today, take a look at the consistent choices you are making about your health. What results are they creating in your life? Will they - over time - create the health that you want to be enjoying?

Let every choice you make (or most of them) be choices that build and sustain great physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. It's the best investment you can make, and ones you'll never regret.

Why You DON'T Have to Be Healthy

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 12:42:00 +0000

by Life and Wellness Coach, Denver Hudson

I've wondered for many years why more people are not actively and intentionally pursuing greater health and overall wellness. What could be more important to a quality and fulfilling life than one's own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health?

Then it occurred to me the other morning why many simply may not be pursuing these higher levels of health and wellness. Consider...

You don't have to be healthy to watch T.V.
You don't have to be healthy to drive a car.
You don't have to be healthy to vote.
You don't have to be healthy to pay taxes.
You don't have to be healthy to play computer and video games.
You don't have to be healthy to have money autodrafted into an IRA.
You don't have to be healthy to have someone cook for you.
You don't have to be healthy to receive a handout from the government.
You don't have to be healthy to get divorced.
You don't have to be healthy to pop a pill.
You don't have to be healthy to be in debt.
You don't have to be healthy to buy things.
You don't have to be healthy to argue.
You don't have to be healthy to have sex.
You don't have to be healthy to go to work.
You don't have to be healthy to have friends.
You don't have to be healthy to hate your job.
You don't have to be healthy to be fired or have your job exported.
You don't have to be healthy to be afraid, confused, or doubtful.
You don't have to be healthy to suffer.
You don't have to be healthy to envy the success of others.
You don't have to be healthy to be loved.

All of these "don't have to be healthies" just poured out of me early Monday morning. And it dawned on me in a profound way, that in order to live as many live, health and wellness is just not a requirement. It seemed to be somewhat revealing, especially since I am passionate about helping individuals achieve new levels of health and wellness.

Well, I know, the above statements can sound "negative." But look around you. I'm not complaining or judging anything or anyone. It's just what I see. The way many people are living their lives makes an intentional effort at creating health and wellness optional.

So, what are the reasons to be healthy and well? There are many, and we'll look at those at another time. In the meantime, I invite you to look around and see if you can find some reasons that people aren't pursuing health and wellness - and post your findings by clicking on "comments" below. And then, stop for some reflection and consider why today might be the day to step up your own health and wellness to a whole new level.

Why Change Is Hard

noreply@blogger.com (Denver J Hudson) — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:11:00 +0000

by Life and Wellness Coach, Denver J. Hudson

Change is difficult for many people - if not most people. A primary reason for this starts at an early age. As parents, we work to create a safe and secure environment for our children (which is wonderful) and this safety and security often means an environment with as a little change as possible. In fact, parents work very hard to avoid change - to push it away - for as long as possible.

We really aren't taught how to deal with change. Often, it's perceived as the enemy. A nuisance. A disturbance to how life should be. And I think that is why people fear it so much - they haven't been taught how to deal with it. How to embrace it. How to use it. And yet, change is the expression of life. If we were able to stop change, we would be stopping life from expressing itself.

Think about how much of what you have been taught is designed to help you create stability and consistently in your life. Again, this is wonderful, but woefully incomplete. Have you been taught how to create change? Have you been taught how - in the midst of stability - to become aware of what needs to be changed and then know what to do to change it? Have you been taught what to do with your emotions and feelings while in the midst of change?

I have witnessed a great number of people who have established stability and "status quo" in their life, and many of those people are miserable. Many of them are lifeless, lacking in passion and a vibrant energy for life. Many of those people are going to curse life when the wave of change moves through and takes what they have worked so hard to establish. You see this everyday on this planet. We look at change with surprise and sometimes confusion, like it's not supposed to happen. Like it's evil if it happens. As if it were not fair.

At midlife, we see just how real change is. No matter how good we have gotten at establishing stability and safety in the first half of life, midlife shows up, and the waves of change begin. For some, those waves are gentle. For others, they are like Hurrican Katrina. But they do come - for everyone. And when they come, we discover - cognitively and emotionally - how ill prepared we have been for the natural changes of life. We realize that we have learned to dance with stability, but not change. And many of us panic.

One of the most important things I do as a Life and Wellness Coach is help people to understand how to dance with change. How to take this natural expression of life and to use it to ones advantage. It is not something to be feared, or to avoid. That only creates massive amounts of stress and distress. It is something to step into, embrace, and learn from. Learning to dance with change is essential if you are going to create your own life. For when you create desired experiences and results in life, you are also creating change!

Think about all of the changes ahead of you. Those life will bring you, and those you will create. Are you ready? Do you fear those changes? How would your life be different if you knew how to navigate change - and use it to your benefit - to the enrichment of your life? If that sounds appealing to you, I invite you to call me at (812) 299-0214 or e-mail me at denver@relationshipfitnessonline.com. I'd love to hear from you, and I would enjoy sharing with you how The Relationship Fitness Program will help you to become a professional dancer with change!