Through My Eyes

May I Have This Dance?

2013-09-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

It's funny how the smallest things can make us flash back to a specific memory in our pasts, or certain music can create a scene in your head, or how a certain smell reminds you of a certain season. Sights, sounds, and smells usually send me flying back to the past, remembering distant memories that I usually forget to think about. It's nice when a song comes on and suddenly I'm no longer in my living room, I'm transported to a ballroom. I'm wearing a beautiful long, cream coloured dress and my hair is in a tight bun near the top of my head. White candles are lit all around the room, there is no other light but candle light. A man in a suit walks out from the shadows and takes my hand. He holds out his arms as if asking "may I have this dance?" I smile and nod, and silently accept. We begin spinning around the room, dancing effortlessly, despite never taking a single lesson. We smile, not only with our lips, but with our eyes as well. Our steps are perfectly in tune, never missing a beat, like we're moving as one. We swirl and twirl around the ballroom as the piano notes quicken, still never missing a step. But soon enough, the music slows and we stop twirling and begin to sway instead. I close my eyes for a moment to enjoy the beautiful music and the smell of burning candle wax that surrounds me. We stop swaying as the music stops, and I open my eyes. I'm back in my living room. If only, if only.

Just Some Covers.

2013-08-26T03:23:00.000-05:00

I absolutely love music, and I've been playing and singing for quite some time but rarely do I have the confidence to actually upload videos because I'm a little shy about that kind of thing. So, one day I decided to just go for it and stop worrying about what other people might think. If you like it, you like it, if not then you don't need to listen. Practice makes perfect :)

She Will Be Loved Cover

When I'm Gone (Cups) Cover

Decisions, Decisions.

2013-08-26T03:14:00.000-05:00

How many times in our lives are we faced with decisions? We face them many, many times on a daily basis but obviously some are on a much larger scale than others. The choices you may have to make could vary between "what should I eat for lunch today?" to "what do I want to do for the rest of my life?" We make decisions based on our own personal experience and our morals, beliefs and values. I personally have a tough time making even the smallest of decisions because I'm always concerned about every one of the possible outcomes of making that choice and I obsess over it for longer than I really should. I've realised that the possibilities of how something might turn out in the long run are endless because in the process you have to make a thousand smaller decisions to get you to the next point in your life. I cannot tell the future and I don't know where I'm going to be or what I'm going to be doing or feeling in 3 years from now, or even 6 months from now. I won't know until I get there. The truth is, to actually think about not being able to know what lies just ahead of me is terrifying but also exciting because as I said, the possibilities are endless. A lot of people like to think of life as a road or path where sometimes you come across a fork in the road and that's when you're faced with a decision. I like to think of life as an empty canvas, you have room to create your own story, and go whichever way you choose, there is no right or wrong way to learn. There are always going to be obstacles that pop up and you're going to have to find your way around them but if there's one thing I cannot stress more it's to not regret anything. At some point when you made that decision, you wanted it, so why regret something you once wanted? If you found out that you what you thought you wanted and what you actually wanted were completely different things there's no need to look back and say "I shouldn't have done that" or "I should have done this instead" because we can't erase the past but we can learn from it. One of the biggest questions of all time is "what is the point of life?" I believe that life is not about doing everything right and being the best or most accomplished person in the world. We all make mistakes but it's those mistakes that make us who we are. The point of your life is to be you, and no one else; to live up to your expectations, not society's, and to enjoy who you are and what you're doing. You can't enjoy yourself if you're constantly looking back and regretting the things you may have done wrong, but instead you can accept that you made a mistake and move on to the next part of your life knowing that you have grown as a person and have learned not only about how to handle certain situations but who you really are and expand on it. So, instead of obsessing over decisions and being afraid to make choices, just jump into it. There is no "worst thing that could happen" because even if something hurts you still learn and grow. Even if you thought it was the worst thing, you never really know where the other choices may have led you. The only thing you can do is make the best of it, move forward and continue creating your life and seeing where it may lead.

Changes

2013-08-20T16:53:00.000-05:00

You know what I find interesting? This may not be how it works with everyone but I can at least say it's true for myself and some of the people I have/had close relationships with. We do our most self reflections when we've been knocked down. We don't ever take the time to take a step back and look at ourselves when we're feeling good about ourselves, only when we're down. I was thinking today of all of the qualities I wish I could have but I don't and wondering if I could force myself to take on those qualities. For example, I'm a worrier and I'm often afraid to take risks. I need things to be absolutely clear and defined and laid out organized. I have a hard time making decisions even if it's just the smallest ones. These are a few of my personality characteristics, they make up who I am yet I often find that I don't want to be that person. I want to be brave and confident, and care less about things that I actually care way too much about. I want to stop obsessing over the little details and/or the things of the past. But I also realized I've had this thought so many times before too and I've tried to change parts of myself so that I can be completely satisfied with who I am. Then, I really started to think about it and I realized that I have changed quite a bit over the years. I've become stronger and taken a few more risks that I probably wouldn't have before, I've forced myself to step out of my shell more often and meet new people, but even though this is true I'm still often unhappy with the amount that all of these changes have increased. I thought that by now I wouldn't have a care in the world and that I'd be able to handle everything that comes my way. I thought I would be able to just brush off anything that made me feel less significant and unsure of myself because I'd be confident enough to know that who I am is just fine. These things seem to come so easily to others but for me it's like a struggle sometimes and I can't help but wonder if most people do feel this way but don't show it, or if it's something I'll grow out of, or if I'm just different. I'm not saying that I don't like who I am entirely, I do like certain aspects of myself but there are a lot of things that I could point out that I would like to improve and work on, and I'm quite impatient. A lot of the time I find myself wishing that I could just say "okay, starting today I'm going to be confident" and it would happen but reality is, is that it takes a lot of work and time to adapt to changes, and like I said, I'm impatient and honestly, a little bit scared.

There are many things I wish I could change and I think my problem is, is that I have a major issue with feeling the need to be perfect. But here's the problem with my problem, there is no such thing as perfect. Everyone has a different idea of what "perfect" is but there is no exact description. So, my perspective on perfect is constantly changing because I'm hearing other people's opinions on what they think perfect is in all different aspects of life such as at work, as friends, in relationships, in every day life, and even as just a stranger. I want to be a good person who takes care of others and is sensitive to others feelings but at the same time I want to be able to be tough and strong and not have to worry about other people and how they affect my life, but the two just don't mix. Same goes for I want to be a confident person who isn't afraid to show the world exactly who they are but I also don't want to seem shallow or full of myself. There's no such thing as a happy medium apparently because no matter how hard I try I either end up caring too much or too little, coming off snobby because I'm too shy or obnoxious because I'm too "out there" or, end up hurting someone else because I'm too hard or hurting myself because I was too soft.

After all of this over-analysing and thinking I've decided that there's nothing wrong with wanting to alter who you are to better yourself, because we do it all of the time regardless of whether we want to or not based on experiences in our lives. Our whole lives are spent figuring out who we are and I think that experiencing changes is definitely a part of that. Change is terrifying but it could be the best thing that ever happened to you and it's not something to obsess over. I don't need to change because someone else might want something different from me, I should want to change so that I can be happier and have a better life. So that's exactly what I will do. I can be whoever I want to be, and can do whatever I set my mind to. I can live life with no regrets, and stop obsessing over the past. The past is the past and you just have to take from that what you can learn and keep moving forward.

Take a Minute and Really Think About This.

2013-05-14T16:49:00.002-05:00

Just because I'm 19 years old doesn't mean that I'm a typical 19 year old. It doesn't mean that I have no idea what I'm talking about. It doesn't mean that I don't know what hard work is. It doesn't mean that I'm spoiled. It doesn't mean that I party all the time (or in my case, at all). So before you ignore what I have to say maybe listen for a minute and hear what I have to say because maybe I have new ideas you've never thought of.

I am still young so I'm always open to new ideas, the world isn't just in black and white for me, I have good morals and will fight for what I know is right. I am a hard worker, I am independent, and I support myself. I am intelligent and use my brain more often than you'd think, I have learned through my experiences as well as other people's, I observe people and their actions and reactions, and I study psychology in my spare time. I am a very caring person and I do not judge based on appearance, or judge someone before I have met them. I appreciate the little things in life and see the beauty that a lot of people pass by. I wonder about how the world works and I find the answers to my own questions, I take every little thing and take it as a learning experience and I write about it to remind myself when I sometimes forget. I speak up for those who don't have a voice and for those who aren't always loud enough to be heard. I believe that there are good people in this world but there are also a lot of careless, selfish people. One of my biggest values is family and togetherness. I am sensitive, emotional and empathetic, I will always lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on for anyone that needs it. If you are willing to listen to my advice or even take it I will offer it. I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. And most importantly, I care about the well-being of others.

I know I am not perfect and I know that I often make mistakes but I always correct myself, learn from the experience and make myself a better person. I try not to go to bed angry and I always forgive those who have done me wrong and apologize to those that I have done wrong or treated poorly. I am not bragging or tooting my own horn, just simply stating that my age does not mean anything. It's not about how old you are, it's about how much you've learned in those years and applied to your life. I know that I don't know everything there is to know but I am not ignorant and I usually know what I am talking about so if you could take the time to listen to what I have to say I will do the same for you. I respect everyone equally (unless given a reason not to) and I expect to be respected as well and treated as the mature, young woman that I am. This does not just apply to me but to every young person who also feels this way. The moral of my story here is:

Take the time to listen to others, regardless of their age, race, gender and so on. They might surprise you and make more sense than you thought they would.

I Love My Furbabies!

2013-04-06T15:19:00.000-05:00

I can fully admit that I am one of those obnoxious parents that constantly brags about their kids at every opportunity, always has 5,000 pictures of their kids to show to anyone who will tolerate it and thinks that their kids are the best, most beautiful thing that has ever happened to this planet. Except, my kids have fur. Yes, I have pets but they're more than pets to me, they really are like my children, and the best part is that they can't talk back! So, I'm about to go all braggy mama on you and show you a gazillion pictures of my babies.

This is Roxy, she will be 2 years old this August.

This is Remi, he will be 1 year old this July.

Roxy is an odd cat, she's not one of those stereotypical cats who will only let you pet her on her terms and when you want to cuddle she runs away. She's the exact opposite, she's always up for cuddles and comes to you when you whistle.

Despite the innocent look on Remi's face he sure is a troublemaker, but I can never stay mad at him because, well, look at that face!

It's hard to tell what "breed" cats are but I have a theory that Roxy is a mix between a maine coon and a British Longhair.

Remi was born with host-specific lice and lost most of his fur because of it. We took him to the vet and they gave him a shot and gave us some shampoo to get rid of the lice. After that I ordered this really great lotion stuff that has all sorts of essential oils in it and rubbed it on him at least twice a day every day. Before I knew it all of his fur had grown back in all nice and thick and soft and now he's a handsome young boy!

Remi is super energetic and doesn't realize how big he is so he's always jumping all over me and almost knocking me over. He used to be hard to cuddle because he would get irritated or claustrophobic maybe and start biting (not hard) at you. After a lot of work and a lot of bonding time he now gives hugs and loves to cuddle.

Remi is a pure bred husky but when he was a puppy he looked like a baby bear.

Remi loves car rides like most dogs but absolutely insists on being in the front seat.

Remi's favourite activity would probably have to be "eating" Roxy. He likes to rough house with her and stick her entire head in his mouth. He never really hurts her though and if he gets too rough she lets him know. Sometimes I catch them napping together.

He has recently finally understood what the words "walk" and "treat" mean. This face means you have this attention.

When I first went to pick Roxy up we had to put her in a kennel for the car ride home. It was about a 45 minute drive and she was obviously scared because she was being taken away from her mom by some stranger. We put the radio on in hopes of calming her down and it worked. There was a good song on the radio and she stopped meowing and crying and started listening. The song then changed to something not so great and she started yowling. At least we know she has good taste in music!

You would think that if you were to put a small plate of turkey, mashed potatoes and corn in front of a cat that they'd go after the turkey first, maybe try the mashed potatoes and leave the corn but that wasn't the case last Thanksgiving. She went straight for the corn, ate almost all of it, tried some mashed potatoes and hardly touched the turkey at all. She's silly!

Roxy is pretty shy when it comes to new people, if she hears the door open and it's a stranger she runs and hides but once she gets to know you on, you won't be able to get rid of her. She'll sit on your lap for hours if you let her.

One thing that Remi's pretty good with is bed time. Right around 9 or 10 pm he settles down and gets ready to go to sleep. That makes a very happy mama! That is, until he wakes up early the next morning and it's mama's day off and she wants to sleep in but Rem says "nooo! I want to go outside!"

Roxy's a very happy kitty. She doesn't get in bad moods very often and she's always there to cheer me up. She just knows. She'll come over and lick the tears off of my face and put her forehead against my face and just lay there with me.

Roxy feels the need to sleep on me. Every. Night.

When Remi was a puppy we didn't have the chance to kennel train him because our neighbours complained about him whining (we live in a duplex), so it made it really hard to keep the house clean when we were gone. Luckily, those neighbours moved out and a friend of mine moved in who didn't mind the whining until he got used to it. Now he's so good that all I have to do is walk over to the kennel and open the door and he goes in. Treats always help too of course!

If it were winter all the time and Remi got to spend every day outside he would be as happy as a clam.It took awhile for Remi to get used to the snow but once all of his fur came back in he learned to love it. The first time I introduced Remi to snow I couldn't help but laugh. I opened the door to let him out and he stopped, sat down and looked at me like "you expect me to go do my business in this? Are you nuts?!"

So, yeah, those are my furbabies along with some fun facts about them. I know you probably don't care all that much but they both mean the world to me and I don't know what I'd do without them. I love them both with all my heart.

Also, if you were to ask me if I'm a cat person or a dog person I really wouldn't have an answer for you. I like having both because then you have both a dog that you can take places, keeps you active and loves to play as well as a cat that loves to cuddle, is more independent and does the most hilarious things. They both keep me going and keep me smiling every day! I wish I could say that at least one of them is a rescue but they weren't. I do hugely support rescue animals though and if I had the room I'd take in a whole bunch of them!

On the topic of rescues, if you're looking to adopt a pet, adopt a rescue. If you're not looking to adopt but have room in your home, foster a pet. If you don't have room in your home but you could spare a little bit of your time to help out at your local animal shelter, please do so, they always need volunteers. If you don't have time to volunteer but still want to make a contribution, please donate, the cost of taking care of so many animals is not cheap. If you do at least one of these things you are helping save lives and bringing families (or fur-families) together. :)

People Are Becoming So Insensitive...

2013-03-14T00:42:00.000-05:00

I found yet another post on my Facebook newsfeed that I didn't quite agree with, this is what was posted:

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"This was written by a 21 yr old female who gets it. It's her future she's worried about and this is how she feels about the social welfare system that she's being forced to live in! These solutions are just common sense in her opinion.

Put me in charge . . ..

Put me in charge of food grants. I'd get rid of cash for potato chips or chocolate. Instead there'd just be money for the staple foods like bread, milk, potatoes, fresh vegies, cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak, pies and take-out pizza, then get a job.

Put me in charge of Healthcare. The first thing I'd do is to provide women with birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we'll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all existing tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get more tats and piercings, then get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your "home" will be subject to inspections at anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own accommodation.

Put me in charge of compulsory job search. In addition, you will either present a cheque stub from a job each week or you will report to a "government" job.

It may be cleaning the roadways of trash or painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tyres and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the "common good".

Now before you respond that I've violated someone's rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be "demeaning" and ruin their "self esteem", consider that it wasn't that long ago that taking someone else's money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.
If we are expected to pay for other people's mistakes we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices.

The current system rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

AND while you are on Gov't subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest.....You will vote for a "welfare" Gov't. only. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a Gov't welfare cheque. If you want to vote, then get a job."
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I agree with some points, such as the first one about food grants. I am all for ensuring that we all eat healthier and especially if these people on welfare are getting money for food they should use it to make sure that they (and their families) are eating well and being healthy.

By the second paragraph it starts to get a little off topic. I agree that women should have birth control provided (although the kind of birth control should be optional and have more than just a couple choices), and I also agree that testing for drugs and excessive alcohol consumption should be tested for but documenting all tattoo's and piercings seems a little over the top. Why would they need documentation of these things? If the government were worried that they're spending the money they're getting on body modification they shouldn't be. Tattoo's and piercings don't come cheap, and I'm sure that if it came down to buying food and paying bills vs. getting a new tattoo/piercing the person would choose their needs over their wants. If the documentation is a health-related issue, I still see no reason to fuss over it, it's their own body and they have the freedom to express themselves in whichever way that they want. Basically saying "no, we will not give you birth control (or money) because you have many tattoos/piercings is stereotyping, it is unfair and it is wrong.

In the third paragraph it starts to get even more ridiculous, I agree that if you're having your cost of living covered without working you should have to regularly do maintenance on the house and keep it clean and in good shape, but to actually go into someone's home and inspect it is a violation of people's privacy. I keep my house clean majority of the time and have nothing to hide but I would still be uncomfortable with someone coming into my home and judging me. It would just put stress on me and make me feel like I'm uncomfortable in my own home. Also, taking an inventory of all of someone's possessions isn't right either, that's not your business what someone has, what if they were to receive a gift or win a new TV?

By the fourth paragraph it gets a little bit better and then a little bit worse, I definitely agree that if someone is able to work but just out of a job that they should be looking for work and having someone to push them to find work, and I even agree that if they don't have a job they can work "government" jobs such as cleaning up trash on highways, painting or repairing public housing. Those are all things that would need to be done anyway and it would not only give these people purpose to get up every day and accomplish something but it would also benefit the community as well. Directly after this wonderful idea though, it says that they will sell your expensive possessions because you don't have a job therefore you don't need it. If someone wanted the extra money they would sell those things themselves and the government has no right to take those things away anyway. What if it was something you got for yourself before you went on Welfare, when you had a job? What if it was also a gift, or won? Just because someone is poor does not mean that they deserve to have everything nice they ever earned taken away from them so that they have nothing, that's depressing.

In the last bit of the post, the conclusion, it says that all of this shouldn't be considered violating someone's rights because it's all voluntary, and the reason why these people are on welfare is because they made "bad choices" but that's not true at all. A lot of the time, bad things happen to good people, people lose their jobs every day because there are less jobs and more cut backs. Let me share something with you, growing up, my mom and I were on welfare. It's not because she was lazy, or because she wanted to just live off of the government, it's because she couldn't. I often heard her talk about how she missed working. I am not 100% sure why she originally had to go on welfare but I know her poor health played a big part in it and it takes a long time to apply for disability and get accepted and etc. I can bet you that the author that wrote this opinion has never had to be on welfare or have serious issues making ends meet. I know this because of the desire to take the "nice" things that these poor people have and sell them or get rid of them or keep track of them. Here's a truth for you instead; most people on welfare do NOT have nice things. I remember when I was growing up I never had anything that was "cool" or "in", I took what was given to me and I was grateful for it. Not having anything made me learn to appreciate the small things in life, but that doesn't mean that we should take away everything nice that these people own. Some people need to have something nice to make them happy, if you take that away you're taking away hope. I understand the concept of "if you want something nice then work for it", I've worked for everything I have now, like my laptop, my cell phone, my first camera, my first iPod and other major purchases. I wanted them so I got a job and worked for them and it felt so much better than having them given to me because that object was proof of my success and achievements, and this person wants to take away those items that represent past accomplishments? No, let them keep them as a reminder that they worked hard for something once, and they can do it again, it's aspirational.

Lastly, the final paragraph saying that all rights to vote are thrown out the window when you go on welfare is BEYOND wrong. Many people in history have had to fight for the right to vote and you're wanting to take that right away in exchange for some money? You want to know what that sounds like to me? It sounds like that if the government were to take all of these ideas and put them into action, they'd be scared that people would quickly realize it's not a fair trade and want things to change, but the only people who would realize this is the people who are being treated unfairly because they are on welfare. Those people would not be able to vote therefore not being able to try to make a change for the better and are under the government's complete control and become prisoners to them. (Just for the record, I have a job and support myself but I would still vote against getting rid of rights for people who are on welfare). I can clearly see that the opinion above was written by someone ignorant who has never had struggle in their life, and has never had things thrown at them that were out of their control. It seriously bothers me that people are becoming so selfish and stereotypical that they can become so insensitive to others and want them to suffer even more than they already are. Basically what this opinion says is that if someone has already lost their job, their money, their pride along with other things they should also have their rights, their possessions and any chance of happiness taken away from them as well so they're left with nothing. Come on now people, THINK ABOUT IT.

Be Strong!

2013-03-05T23:54:00.000-06:00

I saw this post on my Facebook newsfeed and I have a few things to say about it.

I know these feelings very well, and I'm sure a lot of people do. But the thing that we have to realize when we're thrown in a terrible situation is that we are going to feel this way regardless. Even when you're trying really hard just to be happy there are going to be times when you can't stop yourself from feeling down, and that's totally normally and it's okay. Most of the time when we're in a bad situation our friends or family or peers will just tell us to get out of it. Sometimes, it's not that easy and you really are stuck, at least temporarily anyway. But there are a few things we need to realize:

1) It's okay to ask for help, if someone is really truly a good person they will help you and asking for help doesn't make you a needy or a bad person, it makes you human. I know I have some issues with asking for help, I'd rather do things on my own. It's not that I don't want or need help, I just simply don't like asking people for things. So, I understand that other people probably feel this way too but things will move a lot faster and go a lot smoother if you take someone's hand when they reach out to you.

2) It's okay to miss people or things, it's part of human nature. People do not like change, they like knowing everything and having routines that they follow so when something changes we're left feeling like we're lost and we wish we could just go back to when you were aware of how everything worked and when you were able to predict how things were going to go for the most part. But, there's a reason why we are no longer where we were and to miss things for too long can get out of hand. It's okay to remember the past but do not dwell on it.

3) Don't just dream of a life you never think you'll have. If you figure out exactly what you want the next step is to figure out how to get there. It may seem impossible at first but all you need to do is create a series of goals for yourself. Work backwards. Figure out your long term goals (5+ years from now) first and then create mid-term goals (2-5 years) to help you get to your long term ones and then lastly, create short-term (days - 2 years) to help you get to the mid term ones. By working backwards you're ensure that you're following a path to get you exactly where you want to go. Be very specific and keep your dream in your head all the time, and constantly work for it, and you will achieve it. Nothing is impossible unless you tell yourself it is.

4) If you're wishing you want to start all over again then do it. Nothing is stopping you from starting a new life, creating a new you with new ways of seeing things, handling things and feeling. Sometimes we're torn down completely, and this is a perfect time to rebuild and become an even better person.

5) I know that when you feel so terrible you wonder why these things are happening and wonder what you did to deserve something so bad. You don't deserve to feel terrible but if you think about it, we learn most from these bad situations and become stronger people. Instead of looking at it as something horrible, think of it as a learning experience, I know it sounds totally cliché but it's true.

Anyways, that about covers what I had to say, and I hope that this helps someone else see things more positively. I've been in quite a few bad situations but here I am still learning and growing every day and becoming a stronger, more successful person. Just don't be too hard on yourself and keep your chin up even in the worst of times. <3

Don't Just Shoot For The Moon, Land On It.

2013-03-03T23:58:00.000-06:00

How many times in our lives have we been asked where we want to be in say 10 years from now, or 20 years or so on? Probably at least a few hundred times. We get asked by our teachers, our parents, our friends, our peers and our answer usually changes through out the years. I personally have known what I want to do since before I was in high school. I want to work with young children, and I want to do this because no matter how frustrated I may get with them or if they do something bad, minutes later I find myself laughing. They always keep a smile on my face, and in my heart. I love how children question everything and see no reason not to question it. I love how everything is exciting and they're always having fun. So, back to my original point, I know what I want to do career wise, and have for a long time. I also know how I'm going to get there which would be applying to colleges for the ECE program, going through the program for the 2 years and then hopefully finding a career in that field shortly after. But, recently I had to do an assignment about goals for an elective college credit that I'm taking (to get ahead of the game before I get to college). When I first skimmed through the assignment I figured "huh, easy enough, I know exactly where I want to be!" but it's harder than that because it required so much detail. For example, for the short-term goal part of the assignment (the instructions were to pick one of the mid-term goals I had came up with and make short-term goals in order to achieve the mid-term one, yo dawg I heard you like goals) and one of my short term goals was this "I will obtain my OSSD by July 2013 by completing the 3 necessary credits I have left in order to graduate." When I got my mark back I got asked to be more specific on that. I had no idea how to be more specific, I was thinking "I just wanna graduate so that I can go to college so that I can have a career, come on now!" That's when I realized that I know where I want to be and sort of how I am going to get there but I did not now the exact steps I was going to take, I was just going to end up "winging it". I then sat down and really thought hard and came up with this. "I will obtain my OSSD with a grade average of at least 75% by July 2013 by completing the 3 necessary credits I have left in order to graduate and gain at least 2 college credits through the program at the high school that I am already enrolled in so I can get a head start on my postsecondary education and get a feel for what college is like."

The point is that once I sat down and was forced to think of exactly where I want to be and exactly how I am going to get there (not want, am) I was more determined and excited to get there and it made me want to work harder to achieve my goal in the present. I'm not sure about everyone else but I realized that I often had no clue what was going to come next and I would just wait for life to throw something at me and figure out a way to deal with it. Now, I feel like I am in control of my life. I am aware that I have options to choose from and many choices to make and the only way I'll get to where I want to be is if I grab hold of the wheel and steer myself in the right direction. Now, I'm looking back and wondering "what was I waiting for? Everything I want has been within my reach I just never tried to grab it." But now I've got a firm grip and I'm ready to get going.

The reason why I'm sharing this story is because I hope that maybe someone reading this might learn something or it may give someone the motivation to reach for their futures too, I would love to know that something I said has changed someone else's life positively. But also, I am sharing this so that maybe one day when I feel like losing hope I will come across this, and it will restore my motivation, my inspiration and my drive and I can get back up and try again.

There's a saying that goes "shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll still land among the stars". But why stop at just the stars? It will be worth it to push that extra mile to get to the moon and you'll feel one hundred percent better. Just never give up.

Weeee make up!

2013-03-02T23:54:00.001-06:00

Been playing with make up for a few days. :)

Live, Every Day.

2013-03-02T23:25:00.000-06:00

I've never been able to grasp the concept of death, when I think about someone I know or once knew, I can't picture this world without them in it, and once they're gone my mind cannot believe that they're actually gone. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, that part of me still believes that they're here (in our hearts, memories etc) but the one thing that I find the most strange is how people as a whole deal with death. Instantly when you hear of someone who passed away you start thinking of all of the things you once did together, the things you said to them and how you overall interacted with them, you recall memories. Then, you start wondering if there was anything that you wanted to say or do but didn't and you begin regretting not acting on it when you still had the chance. Here's the part that just blows my mind though, even though we feel this way when dealing with death, we do not feel this way as often in life. Instead of saying the things we want to say or taking a chance and doing the things we want to do with our friends or even our peers we don't even give it a thought, we do not live life to it's fullest and take advantage of every opportunity that arises. We do not think about "what if I never see this person again, what if I never even get to say goodbye?" I believe that we should always show our true feelings to others, even if it's scary, it's okay to be afraid. I once said that we should never live each day as it's our last, we should live it like it's our first because if you treat every day like every experience is new to you, you will learn to appreciate life more. But I also believe that we should treat every day as if it might be someone else's last, because you never know. We should take chances and risks, and make sure that our loved ones always know how we feel, we should be compassionate and emotional and express ourselves as often as possible. When the day comes where my life comes to an end I want the people that I love to know just how much I loved them and that I treasure every moment I have ever had with them. I want the people who made a difference in my life to know that they made a difference and that they taught me something to help me become the person that I am. This is the reason why I do not like going to bed angry, I like all issues or problems that arise to be solved quickly and handled well. You never know when the last time you see someone might be, and you never want the last thing you say to them to be a negative thing.

Just my thought for today, I hope it made you think a little.

Ear Candy!

2013-02-27T18:29:00.000-06:00

If you're looking for some good music and don't want to have to download anything or keep clicking on links over and over then look no further! I have something for you! Quite awhile ago I started using this website called 8tracks, I stumbled upon it and now I use it every day. Basically it's a website where you type in a key word, like: upbeat, sad, study, dance, indie, ska, love, etc etc, Basically, ANY word that you think is going to bring you a playlist you'll enjoy. You have endless options with this website, no matter what mood you're in you can find music that suits it, and you don't have to pick your brain about what artist/band/song you want to listen to. It's like having a soundtrack to your life! (We all want that, am I right?) Anyways, check it out, there are some links below to a few of my favourite playlists. Enjoy :)

Relaxed:
http://8tracks.com/lytebryte25/songs-to-lie-on-your-bed-and-stare-at-the-ceiling-to

Ska:
http://8tracks.com/nitewing86/would-you-like-some-ska-with-that

More ska:
http://8tracks.com/stevenloitz/up-beat

Upbeat indie:
http://8tracks.com/lucasnevado/happysummermix

Things To Do Instead of Doing Your Assignments.

2013-02-27T18:13:00.000-06:00

1) turn everything into a drum
2) update your Facebook status every 5 minutes about it
3) spin in circles
4) dance around the kitchen to Here It Goes Again cause it makes you want to bounce around.
5) try to do the moonwalk
6) talk to your dog in a funny voice and watch him question your sanity
7) chase your cat through the house yelling "love me!!"
8) take a tea break
9) watch cat videos on youtube
10) jump around
11) look outside every time a car drives past
12) read all of your old text messages over and over again
13) lay on the floor
14) try to do a somersault on the ground
15) google how to spell somersault.
16) try to read your textbook upside down
17) crawl through the house on your hands and knees to see what your pets see
18) clean and re-clean the whole house
19) grab something new to eat every ten minutes
20) put your hair in a ponytail on top of your head and pretend to be a helicopter
21) invent a new dance move
22) scroll up and down your news feed for no apparent reason
23) do stretches
24) air guitar
25) max out your credit card on eBay
26) doodle
27) dance some more
28) think about going out somewhere constantly but end up not going
29) have a full conversation with yourself
30) GO BANANAS GO GO BANANAS!
31) run outside and jump in a snow bank cause you live in Canada eh?
32) try to put a sweater on your cat
33) laugh hysterically at your cat when she falls over
34) MORE CAT VIDEOS!
35) open the fridge, close it, sit down. repeat at least 40 times.
36) replace every word of a song with the word meow and sing along like a cat.
37) do the same as above but with the word woof.
38) calm your dog down and assure him there is no other dog in the house
39) make a list of the things you just did instead of doing your assignment.
40) post said list on your blog so the whole world can know what a dork you are.

A Dozen Life Lessons.

2013-02-12T23:12:00.004-06:00

Here are some lessons I have learned throughout my life.

1. Do not live to please other people, real happiness is making yourself happy.

2. You are the only one who can achieve anything in your life. If you get things handed to you on a silver platter and one day it stops (which it inevitably will) you have no drive and you fail.

3. Have a back bone. Do not be a doormat, ever.

4. Do not live up to other people's expectations regardless of who they are, live up to your own.

5. Everyone has a different idea of what the word "successful" means. Live by your definition.

6. Let any negativity bounce off you. You actually can force yourself to be an optimist, or better, an opportunist.

7. Do not rely on anyone, ever. Independence is the first step towards being a strong person.

8. Learn from every mistake regardless of whether it was your own or a complete stranger.

9. Visualize where you want to be in the future, create personal goals, and work your ass off to achieve them.

10. Life is easier when you choose logic over emotions.

11. Observe everything. You learn a lot about people when you just sit back and observe rather than jumping in and being involved.

12. Don't rush through life, you will have lots of time to settle down. Experience life while you're still young and able to.

New Favourite Song EVER!

2013-01-17T16:48:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I know this is a cover but I heard the cover before I heard the original and I fell in love with it, not to mention this girls voice as well! So take a listen and fall in love.

Cups (When I'm Gone) by Lulu and the Lampshades cover from Pitch Perfect:

If you liked that song and want to learn how to "play" the cups part you can watch this girl's instructional video, super helpful!

Or, if you just can't get it or can't sing and play at the same time (like me) you can use this "karaoke" video.

Enjoy :)

This.

2013-01-17T16:02:00.000-06:00

...that is all

Oh Yeah, Instagram, I Have That Now.

2013-01-17T15:54:00.003-06:00

Hey.
Guess what?
I have Instagram
Cause I finally got a smart phone.
So...
You can check it out.
If you want.
I'll just put this right here...

http://instagram.com/amnisula27/

So uh...
Yeah.
Have fun.
:)

Roxy the drama cat says "CLICK IT!!"

Grinds My Gears.

2013-01-17T15:29:00.002-06:00

You know what really grinds my gears? Well, a lot of things but I'm just going to touch on some of them right now. First thing, parents (after moving out on your own). I understand they worry and all but it's one thing to show concern and another to blatantly show that they have no confidence in you and expect you to fail. Here's an example for you. The other day my boyfriend posted a status about his terrible morning, I guess his parents' friend saw it and commented on it telling him that if he moved back home to his parents house he wouldn't have those kind of problems because they would take care of him. His mom later on commented agreeing with her friend and pointed out that things wouldn't be like that at her house. By saying this they both directly implied that I'm not doing a good enough job keeping things in order. At first when I read all of these comments I was really angry. But then I thought "you know what? That makes no sense whatsoever." His whole status was about how when he woke up he stepped in pee (because we have a puppy), then he went out to start and brush off his truck (which is a lie because I did it, just like I do every morning) and while he was outside the dog ate his breakfast (which is also a lie because he never gets up early enough to eat breakfast) and found out that his truck wouldn't start because it wasn't plugged in (even though it started fine and was plugged in the night before) and then he backed into a tree because there was snow covering the back window and blah blah blah. Anyway back to the point, these people are saying that if he were to move back home then these things would never happen, but to me that just doesn't sound right at all. His parents live 45 minutes out of town so he would have to wake up even earlier, which he wouldn't do seeing as the whole reason he was late was because he didn't get up on time, the only difference there would be is that he wouldn't have any excuses as to why he was late and would be forced to be honest about it. The fact that they think that he would be better off living back at home irritates me because they have no clue what goes on in our home, and what we do. They were saying things like "oh your mom will take care of you" and "I'd even make your lunch!" Basically saying that he would have everything handed to him. First of all, he already does have a lot of things handed to him. I do all of the housework, his only "chores" consist of taking out the garbage, helping me with dishes, and getting me to and from work and it's on his way to his classes anyway I also do all of the budgeting and expenses. All he ever has to do is take out his half of the money for rent once a month and the landlords come and collect it. Any other bills I personally pay for through online accounts that I have created and I keep record of everything that has to be paid, and when it was paid. I even pay for half of his gas. I keep track of who pays for groceries and make sure it's always balanced between the two of us and a lot of times I'll buy things we need and won't write it down because I don't mind picking up a few things without making him pay for half of them. Another comment on the status was "think of all of the money you'd save!" But in reality, not much. He would no longer have someone paying for half of his gas and he'd be spending $25 in gas every day to get to school and back from where they live, not including going other places (he has school 5 days a week so that's $125 a week or $500 a month, which is substantially larger than what he pays for rent in a month and with the other bills it would be about roughly the same).

I know I take good care of my boyfriend, in fact I feel like I often put him before myself. I may not be perfect and sometimes things get a little hectic and it's hard to keep up with life but I try my hardest and I'm only just transitioning into adulthood. We have been living on our own for only 5 months, I'm not going get the hang of it right away but I will eventually. And another thing that blew my mind once I started thinking about it, do they have no aspirations for him whatsoever? Do they really expect him to live with his parents for the rest of their lives? I mean, he has to go his own way eventually, so why not let him do it now? I don't know if it's just because maybe they don't like me or something, but regardless, you have to let your kid do what he wants, not what you think he should do, because I'm sorry to say but he's an adult now who can make his own decisions. It's time for him to be a man, it's time for him to make mistakes and learn from them, it's time for him to figure things out himself and stop clinging to mommy whenever he needs something. One thing you need to know when you're finally an adult and are out facing the world on your own for the first time is that you have to be able to figure things out no matter what life throws at you. Instead of sitting there complaining about it you should do something about it. Had a bad morning? Make the next one better by being prepared. Something is bothering you? Talk about it and find a solution. Have money problems? Get a second (or better) job. I did. I was working two jobs and still came home and did housework and paperwork, AND I'm still trying to go through schooling too. You can't lean on your parents forever, and parents have to stop being "helicopter parents" you can't always be there, your "little baby: is not a baby any more. Offer support if they need, give advice but never try and do everything for your kid or they will never be successful in life because they will always be waiting for whatever to be handed to them. I'm sorry if this is very blatant or offensive to some people but I'm entitled to my own opinion and sharing my personal views from my own experiences. I'm not saying this is how it goes with every "helicopter parent" and their kid but I've seen it lots. And take it from someone who has worked for everything she has ever had in her whole life, it feels much better when you accomplish something on your own and you appreciate it more than when you get something handed to you.

I'm done ranting for now.

A Bunch of My Creations :)

2012-11-04T21:39:00.000-06:00

Here are just a few of my wonderful creations. Please excuse the pictures with the poor quality, it was taken with a webcam as my camera battery is dead and MIA. Enjoy! :)

Slenderrrr!

2012-11-04T21:13:00.000-06:00

If you have ever played the game "Slender" you will understand this picture. If you have not, you probably should. Unless, that is, you have a heart condition or something. The game itself is not extremely terrifying or gory or anything but it is suspenseful and makes you jump. Also, that whole sweaty palm thing is a real pain in the butt. Anyways, I drew this picture, enjoy :) Oh, and don't mind the terrible webcam quality, my camera was dead.

Also, here is a picture that my boyfriend drew of slenderman vs. Pokemon :3

I Clean Toilets For a Living

2012-10-14T14:23:00.000-05:00

For all of you that don't know I am a housekeeper. I like some parts of it, I hate some parts of it but overall for the most part I enjoy my job because of the awesome people I work with and the friendly, comfortable environment I work in. But there are a few downsides to my job, such as the actual cleaning part. Sometimes you get awesome people staying in the rooms who are generally neat and tidy and some even partially clean the room before they leave. Then there are people who stay in a room and absolutely destroy the place, it's like they walked into the hotel and decided "I am going to make this housekeeper's life a living hell. You're welcome housekeeper." Here's a few examples of what I've dealt with going from gross to just pure annoying.

Someone puked on the bed that the guest didn't even attempt to clean up, just left it sitting in a great big pile for me to clean. I didn't have to clean that room thankfully, but I was on laundry that day which meant I had to clean the blanket is was ALL over. The housekeeper who had brought me the blanket set it aside so that I didn't accidentally grab it and get puke all over myself but then another housekeeper came in, unknowingly picked it up and put it with the rest of the blankets, smearing puke all over the wall in the process. You know how you can kinda tell what the person was doing before they threw up if you're face to face with their puke? Well, I do. They were not sick because of the flu or another kind of illness. It was the kind of vomit that said "I went across the street to the bar last night, drank way too much and then made the bad decision of going next door and getting McDonalds." I'll tell you I'm definitely not eating McDonald's for awhile, that's for sure!

Another time I had to clean a room that a family was staying in. I expected it to be dirty as kids are pretty hard to keep up with but it wasn't just the kids that were disgusting. I guess when the parents changed the kids diapers they figured that there was no need to neatly roll them up before putting them into the garbage can and that leaving them wide open with crap everywhere was totally acceptable. Well, not only that but they also decided that they would much rather not have the garbage bag in the garbage can where it belongs but it would be much better laying amongst all of the fast food wrappers and other garbage on the table. So, guess where those open dirty diapers went. Yepp, right into the garbage can with no bag in it. Shit EVERYWHERE on the inside of it. Guess who had to clean it. Yepp, me.

I'll leave just those two gross ones as your stomache is probably churning and you're saying "No! No more!" So we'll move onto the annoying things. Luckily, there are more annoying things than gross things but when I find gross things they're just really gross. I've also heard many other horror stories from people who have worked there longer, so glad I haven't experienced that.. yet.

A group of high school volleyball players recently came to town and decided my workplace would be the best place to book a whole bunch of rooms. When I heard that this was happening I was already not enthused as I absolutely HATE teenagers, (the stereotypical ones anyways) and I realized that I was really in for it when I was waiting for my boyfriend to come pick me up and a small group of volleyball players came in with their chaperones so they could book their rooms separately from the rest of the team. I had just gotten off work and had a killer headache (we had to rearrange a lot of guests in the hotel to make proper room for the teams so it was a long day) and they walk in there like they own the place and start yelling excitedly about all sorts of things. Mostly just Jersey Shore references which tells you something about their IQ level. Mostly all I heard while they were checking in was a lot of "YEAAAAH BUDDY" and "AWWW YEAAAH! YEAH!" I was so close to smacking them in the face and telling them to sit down and shut up but I kept my cool. \

I get to work the next morning after that and want to hit them even more when I found out that they got their hands on some silly string from the dollar store. I would also like to stop here and say something, Our location is probably the worst location EVER. Right across from us we have a bar, and a mini mall with a dollar store inside it. On our left we have McDonalds, and on our right we have an intersection. So, it's always impossible to get in/out of work because of constant traffic, the guests decide to go and get drunk at the bar and get McDonalds which leaves me with puke and lots of ketchup covered garbage to clean up, and the guests go buy stupid annoying little things from the dollar store just to piss me off. Anyways, I got to work and there was silly string in all of their rooms (thank god I didn't have those ones, I got the coaches rooms) and down the hallway. It wasn't a huge deal to clean up or anything since it was already hardened I and just picked up what I could and vacuumed the rest but it was extra work for us housekeepers to do. It just showed/proved that teenagers are inconsiderate and don't give two shits about anyone but themselves. And yes, I am 19, but I am not one of them.

Also, the other day I went into a room to clean it and found that the bathroom was absolutely covered in white. It looked like some coke-head through a party in the bathroom. Luckily, it was not illegal drugs and only baby powder but it was still a bitch to clean up. It wasn't gross, and actually smelled nice and clean, it's just that as we all know, or should know, when you wet a powdery substance it turns to paste. So, whenever I sprayed the tub/sink/counter/toilet/floor with the cleaner it would turn into a paste-like substance. I had to wash everything at least 3 times and use the hose from the vacuum afterwards. It normally takes me 5 to 10 minutes max to clean a bathroom, this one took me 20, so it was just a waste of my time. The result of that day was me making this meme.

When you clean toilets for a living, you have to have a good sense of humour. Instead of getting angry that I have all these messes to clean up I find things to laugh at instead, which isn't hard when you're a housekeeper. Some of the things you find in rooms makes you laugh pretty hard (such as walking in to a room with a broken bed), as well as some of the stories you hear from your co-workers (such as hearing a story of how that one girl who picked on you all through out high school had sex with a whole hockey team and got arrested for being drunk and partially naked in the stairwell after she had been kicked out of the room). Yepp, being a housekeeper is not an easy job but some things just make it totally worthwhile.

But just a little reminder before I end this post, next time you stay in a hotel or motel or whatever, do not leave the room a mess. Put all of your garbage in the garbage cans (WITH bags in them!), throw out the soap/shampoo or whatever you used in the shower so we don't have to touch your buttcrack soap, if you make a gross mess at least attempt to clean it up to the best of your ability, and if you want to go the extra mile strip the bed! It makes our job a lot easier. And if you don't do these things and you stay where I work. I will hunt you down and smack you. Just kidding, I wouldn't do that. But seriously though.

Peta, STAHP!

2012-10-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

I made this meme today with all the Peta stuff still going on. I think that when you can't fix a situation right away the best thing to do is make light of it, or in this case, make fun of it. :) Enjoy!

My Thoughts Exactly!

2012-10-10T22:44:00.000-05:00

Well, yeah they're my thoughts exactly, cause I made it. Just thought I'd throw in a funny :)

I Just Had To Do This; Song of The Day

2012-10-10T22:31:00.003-05:00

Some people say that this song is terrible, some say it was good and then got overplayed. Personally, I love it and can't get enough. I think it's one of the best songs to be silly to and get the party going. So enjoy, or not, whatever you want, but I think I'm gonna dance to it :)

My Thoughts on PETA vs. Pokemon

2012-10-10T21:55:00.001-05:00

This is my take on PETA vs. Pokemon after playing the game that PETA released. PETA should have probably actually watched the whole Pokemon series before creating their "game" protesting it. I'll admit that there were some parts in there that got my attention such as all of the meme references they had in there (which I found funny and I know they use to get our attention by having us relate to it in a way that makes us feel positive) but aside from that I found the game to be rather disgusting and morbid, (and they're complaining that Pokemon isn't meant for children, ha). The characters that they have in the game are nothing like the characters from the show and show more reference to real live people who are cruel to animals (such as the research tester using moves like perfume blast or whatever, and the guy who wants to skin and eat the Pokemon). Also, I think that the way they are making their point is pretty ridiculous, they're trying to stop people from playing the games but they create a more morbid, sad version of the game where the characters actually DO abuse the pokemon. The best way I can describe it is hypocrisy.

Pokemon is not just about battling, within the show you learn life lessons like not only is Pikachu Ash's pokemon but also his best friend and Ash would do ANYTHING for Pikachu. It teaches you to be kind to your "pets" and show them respect as well as many other life lessons. I think that PETA is blowing this way out of proportion and should probably stay out of our media and stick to protesting REAL animal abuse rather than a Japanese animated show dating back to when I was young. I haven't watched more recent episodes but the ones that I used to watch every day when I was a kid taught me to be kind, compassionate, determined, caring, understanding, and adventurous/ It taught me to reach for the stars, go after my dreams, never take advantage of the time spent with your loved ones, travel the world if you have the opportunity, meet new friends, always find an opportunity to learn something new, do what you love to do, always tell your friends how much you care, help out a stranger whenever you can, always be the better person and always be yourself. If that's not enough values to keep a show running then what's the point in even watching TV any more? Yes, in the show Pokemon "battle" but it's about the equivalent of two humans wrestling or boxing or something. The two Pokemon are willing, they express that they want to battle (if they don't they run or they refuse) and after the battle they are once again just two Pokemon who congratulate each other on their hard work. In the first Pokemon movie, Mewtwo is forcing the clones to fight the originals and Ash and Pikachu stop the fighting and speak out against the violence. Pokemon recognises that there is a difference.

Therefore, I think that PETA should probably stop this ridiculous petition to stop Pokemon and start concentrating on real life issues that are happening to real animals who are suffering right now. They should concentrate on finding a way to put real life animal abusers in jail rather than getting a slap on the wrist. It really bothers me that things like this happen way too often where people concentrate on the small petty things in the media (just to be picky and have something to complain about) and focus all their energy on getting rid of it because it's easier to stop than the things happening here in the real world. So PETA, stop being one of those picky people who are too lazy to do ACTUAL good and pick on the media and get out there and solve real problems.

If you want to see the game for yourself click the link below, but be warned it's really sick and twisted.

http://features.peta.org/pokemon-black-and-white-parody/

Looks pretty gross right? If these want to stop animal abuse maybe they shouldn't make a game portraying animal abuse, am I right?