He knew...

2010-02-18T23:40:00.000-08:00

He knew this whole time yet he never said a word to me...

You think you know me but you have no idea... You see me as a young girl with human flesh with big bright eyes yet you dont know the truth behind my glossy eyes. He knew it and he never told me. Once I was a human, once I was a whole, in one piece... I was once a sucker for love and honesty, but all that changed when that boy walked into my life. I thought he was like me, I thought he was human. He made me feel immortal! I thought he loved me and I thought we would be together forever... This boy made me believe I had the world in my hands and I was in control, He made me feel invincible he made me feel like no one else mattered, there was no one more powerful in the word than me and then one day he shattered me. One day I felt the sting of this "Love" he said he had for me... My world as I knew it completely changed. I wasn't the same girl... I felt lost in this world which I was once so accustomed to. I was weak I was terrified of bright sunny days, I didnt believe in them! I was sick... very sick for a few months.. maybe even a few years. I had no trust. I was a lonesome soul. I was just lost and had no where to run always trying to hide... always running from what was now my "new reality"... I refused to see myself in the mirror, I was scared of who I was I was scared of what I had turned into... Then I met him... This young man who showed interest in the person I had become... I saw him and I knew there was something special about him. I couldn't quite tell what that was yet I was curious to find out. I spend many days just staring into his eyes and trying to see and figure out the mystery behind him! I had no idea. I never thought a man would come into my life and I would be so interested in finding out who he was.. but there he was in front of me. This great man, One who with his carisma and sweetness, intrigued me. My language was foreign to him my actions were too. My ways of living seemed to intrigue him also. To me he has his own language too one which I understood yet some word I had to learn to decode. He had a very specific taste in food... a hunter he was. Always watchful for his prey yet I had no idea. His hands always warm, his hugs felt like I was near a flame. Mine cold like ice... we were no match. He was the summer and I was the Winter... Very territorial he was... Yet confused I understood. I still didn't believe in those sunny days.. he did... He lived in those sunny days while I hid in the dark shady forest. I was scared he showed me I could trust him and I did, but I was always reminded of "him" of the one who turned me into this creature I wasnt used to and as soon as I sensed pain or hurt this creature I had become would come out and turn over protective over itself. I would put up my shield and this barrier would not let anyone through. The girl I used to be would beg to come out but this creature would say No, and blame her for the pain and blamed her for turning into this creature she never wanted to be. Without ever realizing it was never her fault. The monster I was, held her old self captive in a cell only letting her out under supervision.This warm blooded man would try to break into the cell to save the old me but as a creature I wouldn't allow him I would just grab him and bite him to scare him off yet he never gave up. I know I hurt him yet he not once complained. He was in love with me... I refused to believe it... I refused to believe in Love... Love had died for me... Love did not exist...

Love made me nonexistent and I did the same to "It"... Every time this warm blooded man would come I would feel okay. I made me feel strong and unafraid. He made me confident and made me feel beautiful being the creature I was... He knew I wasnt normal.. I knew he wasnt either, but I had no idea he knew of my transformation... He knew I was a blood sucker... He found out I was a vampire... He knew this and never told me.... but it's okay because he thinks I didnt know his secret.. How could I not.. I knew he was a mongrel! A stupid werewolf... my worst enemy...!! Yet for some reason I couldn't seem to get away from him! I was more attached to him than I had ever been to anyone. I knew he was a mongrel... his warm blood, his strong body, his howl at the moon... his passion for a full moon... I knew it! But I loved him... I had fallen in love with that werewolf and he had fallen for me too. It was hard... it was hard for two creatures who were never supposed to be together in the first place to start a relationship... but we did it.. We compromised... He thought me to let the old me out without being so over protective. I'm still working on that because that wound that boy who turned me into this creature left is still there... My werewolf protects me and he stands up for me. He understands me because he knows my pain and he's seen me progress. I trust him... He can't hurt me.. I am a vampire and I now his weaknesses... He can read me though sometimes I use that shield on him which confuses him. But he loves me still and I love him too. We are two very different creatures yet we are so alike. Shhhh don't let our secret out ... Remember we are strong and together we make an even more powerful team... We are unstoppable... Don't tell no one!

Life as I live it

He knew...