A Baby Boomer Woman's Life After 50

Judi Boomer Girl Is Moving Up In The Blogosphere

2012-07-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

I have great news to share. I want to shout it from the tallest mountain and from the valley down below. Come one, come all. "A Baby Boomer Woman's Life After 50" by Judi Boomer Girl is moving up in the blogosphere.

Yes, yes, yes, my blog is growing up and moving to a URL of my very own at aboomerslifeafter50.com. (For those who don't know much about the blogosphere, it just means that you will now find my site at a new address on the worldwide web.) Here's my new masthead:

I have been working hard over the past five years to build a vibrant blogging community for boomer girls - mature women who, as many of you told me from a recent survey, are women who want to have fun, who want authenticity in their whole life - mind/body/spirit, who are ready to try new things and take risks. "If not now, then when," many of you told me in your feedback.

So, so, so, I told myself the same words. And after much sweat and a few tears, I am taking the plunge and officially transitioning my blog to a more contemporary platform. My new site will enable me to grow my community and bring YOU, my fellow boomer girls (and the boomer guys, the boomlets and Gen Xers who enjoy my posts) a whole lot more.

My new site at aboomerslifeafter50.com is a work in progress, just like me. I'll continue to share my experiences about aging, about my empty nest (and how my two adult birdies are doing in the real world), about health and wellness, about the interesting people I meet and the places I go and that I encourage you to visit too. I'll continue to elaborate on my love of beauty and fashion - with seasonal updates on timely trends, always with a boomer girl twist.

You'll also find raves and reviews for our age group - new books, movies, shows, spas, food, restaurants, fashions, websites and blogrolls and of course, plenty of anti-aging beauty treatments and anti-wrinkle creams - I can't wait to share it all.

In addition, there will be some new features, including reader promotions and product giveaways. Plus, guest posts from other writers and bloggers that I hope you will find of interest.

What does this mean to you, my blog readers? For those of you who are followers or subscribe to my posts via email, you'll need to sign up again to continue to receive my posts in your email or via RSS Feed. Simply go to my new site at aboomerslifeafter50.com and click on the orange square in the upper right corner and follow directions for email sign up. Or, you can look on the right sidebar for a sign up box. Be sure to authenticate your sign up once you receive the follow up note in your email.

Plus, as added incentive, anyone who signs up via email or leaves a comment on any blog post during the month of July, or sends me a note with feedback about my new blog, will be entered into a raffle for a copy of "I Remember Nothing And Other Reflections" in remembrance of the late writer Nora Ephron. (Note: To leave a comment on a post you can click the little bubble near the title of the post.)

I want to thank all those who have joined my community and read my blog posts the past five years and my wish is that you will continue to join me on this new journey as I reinvent myself once again. You, my readers, have helped my through the good times and rough patches in my life and I am forever indebted to you for your support and encouragement.

As my masthead on my new blog says:

Sign up now and join the fun. If you're a boomer girl, the best is surely yet to come.

Looking forward to seeing you there.

Judi

My Big Boy Moves To The Big City

2012-06-17T20:20:00.001-07:00

Today is Father's Day and tomorrow would have been my late husband M's 61st birthday. I'm missing M. So much has changed since he passed away almost five years ago, especially our son D, who graduated from college last month, who got a job in NYC and who moved into Manhattan yesterday.

"We missed the exit to the Lincoln Tunnel," said D as we drove around Jersey City. "My bed is scheduled for delivery between noon and 4:00 p.m," he added as we turned the car around and headed back to the NJ Turnpike to find the Lincoln Tunnel. It took us over two and a half hours to get to Manhattan, but I was zen and just kept breathing.

I had been running around the day before to get everything on D's list for his new bachelor pad that he will be sharing with two other bachelors - mattress cover to protect his mattress from bed bugs, mattress pad to make his bed more comfortable, bed skirt to cover his new box spring, sheets for his new full size bed, towels for the bathroom, pots and pans for the kitchen, and an air conditioner for the bedroom (since there is no central air in his apartment).

"He is leaving me with an empty nest again, this time for the real world. He is leaving me with an empty nest, this time for a teeny tiny bedroom in a walk-up tenement in NYC. He is leaving me, just as I left my parents more than 30 years ago, when I moved to the big city to start my career.

"We'll never find a parking space," said D as we arrived on his street on the east side of Manhattan. "There is a police station on my block so there is no place to double park." Surprise, surprise, surprise - there it was, right opposite the police station, an open spot. ("I know your dad is looking out for us," I muttered as I thought of my late husband M. After I met M in the early '80s, we lived almost exactly one block away from where D is now about to live.)

D emptied out the car. Carrying boxes and clothes up the three flights of stairs. His sister A came along for support. She too moved to NYC almost four years ago. It felt like just yesterday that D and I were moving A into her apartment.

"I'm here to help," said A as she dropped her purse in the car and pulled out a few items to carry. "What number is D's apartment?" "Eleven," I said and off she went.

"Where is A?" asked D when he came back to the car for more stuff. "I don't know, I thought she took things up to your place," I replied somewhat perplexed. D tried to call A, until we both realized that her smartphone was in her handbag which was in the car. She had left about five minutes ago, so I wondered where she was.

"WTF," yelled A as she stomped out of another building. "I thought you said it was apartment 11. I was ringing the doorbell and knocking on the door wondering why no one was answering. "Ooh, ooh, ooh, close call, glad no one was home. That was the wrong building, how did you even get through the front door?" I said. "A girl let me in," said A.

I sat in the car under the bright sunshine as D and A emptied the car until only one pair of dress shoes was left for the taking. "I want to see your apartment before I take off," I said. I walked up the three flights. There was the small kitchen (which D said can fit a table for two or three). There was the small bathroom (it was long and narrow and the medicine cabinet almost came off the wall when I opened it). There were the three teeny tiny bedrooms (D took the mid-sized bedroom, although I couldn't really tell the difference between the three bedrooms - but I didn't say that.) There was the tiny living room (which will eventually fit two futons and a coffee table). "Yes, this will be a fine new home," I said to D.

I walked back down the three flights of stairs being careful not to trip on the one step that was uneven. I got back into my car that was parked illegally in front of the police station. I drove back across 34th Street from the east side to the west to enter the Lincoln Tunnel (my heart was beating fast and thank you M, I know you were looking out for me - I didn't hit anyone while driving across town).

I made it through the Tunnel and I drove back to New Jersey with an empty car. I wanted to scream and yell at the landlord and realtor who charged, as M would have said, "an arm and a leg" for this apartment. I wanted to scream and yell that this apartment "could fit inside my master bedroom, yes the entire apartment could likely fit inside my master bedroom. Okay, maybe inside my master bedroom and my loft area."

Instead, I called D and I said, "Hi sweetie. I love your new apartment. It reminds me of my first apartment in NYC. I had some of the best years of my life back then and so did your dad. I know you are going to have great times in your new apartment."

"Empire State of Mind" came on my iPod when I was exercising at the gym this afternoon. I couldn't resist singing along in dedication to D's new digs:

One hand in the air for the big city

Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty

No place in the world that can compare

Put your lighters in the air

Everybody say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

(Come on, Come on)

In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made, oh

There's nothing you can't do, now you're in New York

Big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York

New York, New York

M and I loved New York when we were young. I still love New York. I do. I do. I'm so glad my daughter A and my son D love it too.

Judi

Quintessential Anna Quindlen

2012-06-12T19:28:00.003-07:00

I have always loved journalist and author Anna Quindlen's writing. I used to read her Life In The 30s column in the New York Times each week when I was in my 30s. I loved the way she wrote about balancing work and life and how the two often collide. I loved her stories because I could connect with them - it was as though she was describing my unbalanced life with two kids, a husband and a full-time job.

While I am a little further away from 60 than Anna is now, I so enjoyed reading her new book, "Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake." This time I read Anna's book on my Kindle, although I wish I had a hardcover copy. I found myself constantly wanting to highlight various phrases and pages so I could re-read them again and again. (Instead I used the Clippings tool on my Kindle, to clip and save various sentences and pages.)

"This is me, I agree," I wanted to tell Anna as I read and re-read each essay. "I feel the same way about aging, I do, I do."

As Judith Newman said in her review of the book in the New York Times Review, "Each chapter muses on a different aspect of the way Anna's life (and, by inference, ours) has changed as she moves from her 50s toward her 60s."

Anna talks about taking greater risks as we get older. She talks about conquering fears. When I read about how she finally conquered a headstand, I wanted to send her a note and say "Bravo." Anna quotes business guru Deming, who said that "an essential part of maturing, is putting fear aside, because if there's anything that cripples us it is fear."

Anna says that many of us with lots of candles on our cake "may not like our age spots or crepey necks, but that we are happier now than we were when we were younger...that we settle into our own skin, even if that skin has sun damage."According to the Gallup poll of 340,000 people that Anna mentions, people get more contented as they age. "After age fifty there was a change in the weather, and from then on happiness was on an upward trajectory into the eighties. As those in the survey grew older, they reported that stress, anger, sadness all declined."

Ooh, ooh, ooh. There's also the Pew study that Anna quotes as well. That study found that most adults over fifty feel at least ten years younger. (Is 50 the new 40? I thought it was the new 30? Some people say that 50 is the new 50. What do you think?)

I don't want to give away all of Anna's goodies, so I'll stop here. I encourage you to download a copy or buy a hardcover book so you can highlight your favorite phrases and sentences as you read. There are essays about girlfriends, mothering adult children, being a parent to parents and a whole lot more.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, there's one more quote I just have to share. I know you're going to love it. It's from Anna's friend Lesley. Here's what she said: "On the day my friend Lesley's first grandchild was born, she sent out a message that ended, 'You're never too old to have the best day of your life.'"

Okay, so I haven't had a grandchild yet. But whether or not I have one, two or none, I still love Lesley's philosophy about aging. Don't you?

Judi

Exercising My Menopausal Memory

2012-06-05T16:45:00.001-07:00

When my friends at BoomBox Network invited me to test out a new online site called Cranium Crunches, filled with games that challenge my brain, I gladly obliged. I always liked games when I was a kid - Candyland was my favorite with all the colored squares. I was also very good at playing card games with Nana M - War, Gin Rummy, Solitaire - I enjoyed them all.

With my menopausal memory fading fast, I was quick to try a teaser or two to sharpen up my skills. Am I game? You betcha! Here goes:

First up, was Memory Match, where I honed my attention, categorization and recall skills. I had to match as many photo pairs as I could before my time was up. What 44 clicks to get to 10 matches? I know I can do better than that. I did not back down. Again, 44 clicks. I tried one more time, with more determination. Sixty clicks. Ooh, ah. Ooh, ah. I was ready for a different game.

Next, I moved on to Find The Difference. I was very good at this game. This game required attention to detail, focus and searching strategies. I had to find as many differences as I could in each photo set. One, two three - I beat level I. One, two, three, four, five - I made it through level II. Uh oh! Uh oh! The puzzles in level III were not as easy. I needed help.

Next, I tried the Match game, which required me to act quickly, put things in categories, do problem solving and visual memory all at once. The images were fast moving and my fifty-something mind was a little dizzy by the last banana bunch.

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other puzzles also kept my attention in check. I remember this type of game when I used to read Highlights magazine in the pediatrician's office. I was much better at finding the differences in the pictures back when I was five versus now at almost 55. I was best with the pictures of babies versus more scenic shots.

Ruth Curran, founder of Cranium Crunches, has a background in psychology and says that her website offers good exercises for people with a broad range of abilities and levels of functioning. In fact, next time I am visiting Flo-ree-da, I am going to bring along my iPad and have a Crunch match up with my 90 year old mama. May the brainest girl win.

Judi

Disclaimer: I wrote this blog post while participating in a campaign by BooMboxNetwork.com on behalf of Cranium Crunches and received payment for my participation. All opinions stated within are my own.

A Visit to ABC Kitchen

2012-05-29T20:09:00.002-07:00

"Where do you want to go for your graduation lunch?" I asked my son D a few months before his special day.

"I made reservations for 3:00 p.m. at ABC Kitchen," said D, "It was voted best new restaurant of 2011 by the James Beard Foundation."

"Wow-o-wow! I cannot wait to go," I said with a big grin on my face.

ABC Kitchen is located at
35 E. 18th Street in NYC

And so it was, on a sunny day in May, a little over a week ago, after my son graduated from college, my son D, my daughter A and I enjoyed one of the best-ever celebratory luncheons at this award-winning restaurant. It was farm-to-table dining, casually elegant, with an artful design and exquisite locally sourced food and organically focused cuisine, just as the press release said.

"What are you going to order?" I asked D and A, as we sat down for lunch. We were all famished and hadn't eaten since the early morning.

"Do you want a drink?" asked the waitress. "We have a wonderful rhubarb bellini and rhubarb martini." I was sold and so were my table mates. Rhubarb is one of my favorites. I adore strawberry and rhubarb pie, rhubarb crumble and rhubarb compote, but had never tried a drink made with rhubarb. "Absolutely," we all chimed in. A ordered the martini and D and I got a bellini. We raised our glasses and made a toast, "To D on his graduation day and to his ongoing career success." Sip, sip - down they went.

We chose pretzel crusted calamari with marinara and mustard aioli as an appetizer. The calamari were hot and crispy and the tangy sauces were a nice complement for dipping.

Drumroll please, for our entrees. Ta da, ta da, ta da! All three were simply scrumptious:

I chose the spinach, goat cheese and herb pizza. The crust was thin and the spinach was delicate and flaky. Ooh it was so good, I ate it all. (I did share a slice or two with D and A. I was a nice mom.)

"How do you make this spinach taste so good," I asked the waitress. "It's the brick oven," she replied. (I attempted to copy this pizza recipe this weekend. I bought goat cheese and fresh spinach and used some herbs that I had brought back from Italy. I spread the dough very thin, basted it with olive oil, sprinkled the fresh goat cheese and spinach over the crust and dotted it with herbs. Then I added a few more drops of olive oil over the top. The pizza turned out pretty good, not as good as ABC, since I don't have a brick oven. We all agreed that next time I'll load up on the spinach, since the leaves tend to shrink during baking.)

D selected the spice crusted monkfish, pea puree and carrot vinaigrette. It was so flavorful and the fish was tender. Ooh, aah, ooh, aah. We loved the fish.

A wanted a salad and decided on the crispy shrimp, romaine, market vegetables and carrot-sesame vinaigrette. The carrot-sesame dressing was so light and tasty, definitely wish they could bottle that dressing for home use. Or, maybe, ABC will decide to produce a cookbook one day, maybe, maybe.

Did we leave room for dessert? Did we? Did we? You guessed right. Of course, we did.

"What do you recommend for dessert?" we asked the waitress.

"You have to try the sundae. It is amazing," she answered with a grin.

"We'll share the sundae," I said. "And since it is a special occasion, we'll order the cookie plate with lemon drop, chocolate chip cookie, PB marshmallow bar & honey cheesecake bar, too. Two desserts. Yes, we'll have two."

Can you find the 3 scoops of ice cream?

OMG! OMG! OMG! Food coma was about to set in when they brought out the sundae. Listen to what was in this big bowl. I could not believe it was so large. There were three scoops of salted caramel ice cream. (One scoop for each of us, how nice ABC was to give us three scoops.) The ice cream was sitting on chocolate sauce and topped with candied peanuts, caramel popcorn and whipped cream. (Did you get all that, I said three scoops with peanuts, chocolate sauce and caramel popcorn. Do I need to repeat it again? This is definitely one to imitate at home. I would go back to ABC just for this dessert.)

Yes, we finished every last spoonful of the sundae. We left a few cookie morsels on the plate. I paid the bill. And we all agreed that ABC Kitchen is worth waiting on the waiting list for a table. It is truly one of the best...James Beard was right. Hope you'll remember the first letters of the alphabet and pay ABC Kitchen a visit next time you are in NYC.

"Who is graduating next?" I asked A and D. "We're done with school for a while mom," they both quickly replied. "We're done for now."

"Well okay then, I'm so proud of you two kids. Yes, I'm very proud. But, we'll have to go back for my birthday next year. And maybe since you are both working now, you'll treat your mama to a nice birthday lunch at ABC Kitchen. Okay? I love you two so much. Okay? Do you know what day my birthday is? Should we make the reservations now? Soon? Okay? I love you two so much. As much as a three scoop salted caramel ice cream sundae with chocolate sauce, and candied peanuts and caramel popcorn and whipped cream. And that's really big."

Judi

Cheers To The Graduate

2012-05-17T19:24:00.001-07:00

Yesterday will go down as one of the best days of my life. My son D, my baby boy who I gave birth to 22 years ago this week, graduated from college. Yes, he did. He did it and he did it well. While some on either side of me dozed off during the ceremonies at NYC's Radio City Music Hall, I kept my eyes wide open. I loved the pomp and circumstance from beginning to end. I listened to every word that each speaker had to say.

"Will my son D heed these words of wisdom as he begins his finance career next week in the big city?" I thought as I reflected on my own personal journey the past 30+ years. Have I practiced, and do I continue to practice, what these wise speakers preach?

"Follow your passion," said Danny Meyer, CEO of Union Square Hospitality Group, which includes some of the country's most highly acclaimed and popular restaurants including Union Square Cafe, Blue Smoke, Shake Shack, Maialino and more. He spoke after being honored with a Doctor of Humane Letters. (Since my son D spent most of his food dollars at Shake Shack during his last two years at Pace University, I felt a special affinity for Danny. D promises to take me out for a Shake Shack burger when he earns his first paycheck. Can't wait.)

"Use your time well," added Danny. "Everyone gets time equally. It doesn't matter how much money you make." (Ooh, I always wish I had more time. That's likely why I spend so little time sleeping. There aren't enough hours in the day to do all that I want to do. I need not forget menopausal moments and hot flashes that are equal contributors to my sleepless nights as well.)

Danny talked about "HQ" also known as the hospitality quotient, about how you make people feel during a transaction...about any transaction, not just at a restaurant meal. (I so agree with Danny. Emotional skills are very important in life and I have definitely tried to make every colleague, client, friend, family member and partner feel good during my work and non-work transactions.)

Danny used words like "kind, curiosity, work ethic, empathy, self-awareness, integrity" as he shared his secrets of success. (Love these words, don't you? I am definitely becoming more self aware during my life after 50 and intend to keep learning something new each day.)

Danny closed by urging the graduates to "be humble." "Life is a series of waves to be embraced and overcome," he said. (Ah yes, those waves keep coming, even after more than three decades in the work world. Sometimes the waves are small and I glide easily to shore, while other times they are huge and I end up crashing or doing a belly flop just to stay afloat.)

Pace President Friedman shared his four "C's" for a winning career during his address. "Compete, contribute, create and have courage to take risks and do new things," he said. "Think of your life as an oak tree. Walk out on each branch. If you just stay in the center of the trunk you'll miss some great opportunities." (I do hope my son D takes more risks than I did. I know he will. He has already shown me how fearless he can be. I am so proud of him, so proud of his accomplishments, especially during these past four years.)

I hope D pursues his passions like Danny said. I hope he walks out on the tallest and narrowest oak tree branches and tries lots of new experiences like President Friedman said. I hope he learns from his worst failures and takes pride in each and every triumph.

Go out there D and conquer the world. Yes, you will likely fall down sometimes, it will hurt and I may not always be there to help pick you up. You'll need to do that yourself and then climb the next branch on your own. No I won't be there to catch you...because I, yes I, your mama J, will be climbing a taller oak tree branch right beside you. It's time for me to take some new risks in my life.

Here I go-go-go watch out below-low-low!

Judi

P.S. - Stay tuned for my upcoming blog post about our graduation luncheon at ABC Kitchen. The meal was so yummy. I'll be taking you inside for a peek at this trendy, James Beard Award-winning restaurant with pictures of all the fabulous foods we ate, especially the sundae we had for dessert with homemade caramel ice cream, candied peanuts and popcorn, whipped cream and warm chocolate sauce. I think I will now have to definitely go back on my cholesterol medication for sure.

Mothering My Wonderful 90 Year Old Mom

2012-05-08T19:57:00.001-07:00

My sister N and I spent this past weekend in Flo-ree-da visiting my mom. It was a joyous time. We ate well, we slept late each morning, we read the Sunday New York Times by the pool and soaked in plenty of rays during four glorious days of brilliant sunshine. (Yes, we put suntan lotion on, don't worry we didn't want our 50+ year old arms and legs to get too sunburned.)

It was so wonderful. I felt like singing "The Lazy Song" by Bruno Mars. Come on, sing a verse with me and you'll see how it felt...

"Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone
So leave a message at the tone
Cus today I swear I'm not doing anything
Nothing at all
Ooh hoo, ooh hoo
Hoo ooh ooh
Nothing at all"

While it felt great to "slow down" and take a break from our hectic lives, my sister N and I agreed that we take a lot of the physical things we can do for granted. Things like walking, taking a shower, getting in and out of a car, balancing on two feet or even one (as I do in yoga class).

Mom can't move too quickly since she walks with a walker. It takes time for her to get in and out of a car and put on a seat belt. "Stand up straight," I reminded her constantly. "Don't push the walker too far out from under you. Take your time."

Mom eats more slowly too. I bet she enjoys her food more than my sister N and me, as we are constantly rushing to the next job or task at hand. Mom is a mindful eater - that's a good thing. "Are you sure you want to order the crab and seafood cannelloni?" I asked her at dinner on Saturday night. "Don't you think that entree is too rich. I don't want you to get a stomachache tonight." She ordered it anyway and enjoyed a chocolate dessert afterwards too.

I brought my mom some new clothes - two cute tees and two pairs of pull up capris. I bought the kind of clothes that don't have any buttons or zippers or ties that need tying. It's hard for my mom to button a button with her arthritic hands. "Be sure to try on the new clothes and see if they fit," I said to mom. "And wear the clothes, don't just hang them in the closet and look at them."

"Am I mothering my 90 year old mom too much?" I thought during certain moments. Maybe so, but whenever I tried the role reversal trick she shot back, "let me do it myself" and I tried to abide.

Ugh, it's not easy being a caregiver to an aging parent. However, this weekend we were three wild and crazy girls out milling around and doing a whole lot of chilling (as my son often says when I ask him what he is doing). No worries, no deadlines, just having fun.

"What book is that you are reading?"asked mom.

"Fifty Shades of Grey," I replied. "And N is reading Fifty Shades Darker."

"Never heard of those books, are they any good?" said mom.

"Ooh, they are really good," I replied. "But, mom, I think you are too young for these books."

Happy Mother's Day mom. I love you mom. So sorry, no fifty shades or fifty shades darker for you. No, no, no, not while I'm doing the mothering. The only shades you're getting are the new sunglasses I bought you at Walgreen's this weekend. Oh yeah and please make sure you put them on when you go out in the sun, okay.

Judi

The Writer Within - Part II

2012-05-02T19:50:00.000-07:00

I listened, I learned and I sat among the literary this past weekend in NYC, as I enjoyed my first American Society of Journalists and Authors Conference (ASJA). There were so many editors and authors. There were newbies like me trying to break into the profession. There were accomplished authors who have written many books. There were social workers and doctors who want to write a book someday. There were bloggers (like me) and social media wizards. They were all smart, enlightened and so full of writing wisdom. Their passion for the written word, whether online or in print, was inspiring.

So who did I meet and what did I learn? Do you wanna know? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

Okay, some new news that may be of interest to boomer girls:

- I met the Beauty Editor at MORE magazine, Genevieve Monsama. MORE targets our age group and Genevieve said that their stories often include the psychological component of aging. She said that women 40+ want to look good for their age. (I agree and hope that one day I can have a bylined article in MORE. They look for writers who are 35+ and who can weave stories with personal experiences. Will have to think about a beauty story I can pitch.)

- I met Senior Associate editor of AARP magazine, Lesley Wooldridge. Do you know that this magazine has a circulation of 35 million? They produce separate editions for those 50+, 60+ and 70+. Lesley says that AARP readers like to feel great, save money and have fun. They are vibrant active people. (Know wonder I like this magazine. I am the target market. Are you an AARP member? You should be if you are 50+. I know so many people who resist joining AARP when they turn 50. I don't know why. You get good benefits and if you are a magazine-aholic like me, you get AARP magazine included with your membership.)

- I listened to "The Happiness Project" author Gretchen Rubin at Friday's luncheon. Gretchen encouraged writers to enjoy the fun of failure. "That's part of moving forward. The danger of doing nothing is worse than trying and failing," she said. "Remind yourself how happy you are to be doing what you're doing." To motivate us more, Gretchen quoted the author Harlen Coben, who said "No one has to fail for me to succeed." (Gretchen is so right, I am happy when I am writing my blog. And I can't wait to start writing my book, especially after receiving tips on my book proposal during a one-on-one mentor session with author and former agent Lisa Cool.)

- I met Sondra Forsyth, Senior Editor of ThirdAge.com. Sondra is a writer and a former ballerina. More than four million people read ThirdAge.com, which has a lot of great health and wellness content for boomers. You should check it out.

I closed out this wonderful ASJA conference among the standing room only crowd at Columbia University 's Graduate School of Journalism Professor Sree Sreenivasan's session on Social Media 2012. Prof Sree is a technology expert and shared a great clip with us from the Today Show when the worldwide web and the internet were hardly part of people's vocabulary. It reminded me of how much our lives have changed in the past 15 years and about how much more will likely change in the next 15 years.

Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, YouTube, Foursquare, Tumblr, Instagram...what will be next? How does anyone keep up with it all in a 24 hour day? I guess there is not time for sleep. Menopausal women don't sleep anyway.

Tweet, tweet, tweet....oh, to be a writer...it's all so exciting.

Judi

The Writer Within

2012-04-24T19:47:00.000-07:00

I started blogging about five years ago, when I was counting down to 50. It was a way to keep a journal as I approached a very important birthday. As many of you, my readers, know, along the way my life had its ups and downs and downs and ups. Two weeks shy of turning 50, I lost my husband, my soulmate of 25 years after a traumatic illness. Later that year, both my children graduated - one from college and one from high school - leaving me with an empty nest. I had to reinvent myself. And so I did.

Many of you traveled this journey with me through my blog. You watched me grow during my countdown to 50 and continue to watch me grow during my life after 50. You told me in a recent survey that you read my writing because you like my authentic voice, my fun spirit, and my optimistic style. It is because of all of you, my dear readers, that I continue to blog. You have helped me through the bad times and the good times, through my fears and through my grief, through my mistakes and through my triumphs.

I am very proud to share some good news with all of you. I recently applied for a scholarship to attend the American Society of Journalists and Authors' (ASJA) 41st Annual Writers Conference in NYC. I sent off my application along with my writing samples and my blogger resume.

"It is with great pleasure that I hereby notify you of your selection as a recipient of a 2012 ASJA Writers Conference scholarship. Congratulations! We were very impressed with the quality and number of applications we received, and yours was indeed a standout. We are very happy to offer you a place at the Conference," said the note from ASJA's Executive Director.

According to their website, ASJA was founded in 1948 and is the nation's professional organization of independent nonfiction writers. Its membership consists of nearly 1,200 outstanding freelance writers of magazine articles, trade books, and many other forms of nonfiction writing, each of whom has met ASJA's exacting standards of professional achievement.

OMG! Wow-o-wow! OMG! Wow-o-wow!

I am one of 10 scholarship winners selected to attend the ASJA conference. My writing impressed the writers. In addition, I receive a mentor time with a published author.

OMG! Wow-o-wow! OMG! Wow-o-wow!

Am I excited? You betcha, betcha, betcha! OMG! Wow-o-wow!

I read all 72 pages of the online agenda. I want to go to this seminar and that one and that seminar and this one. Ooh, ooh, ooh, I can't wait to mingle with all the journalists and authors and learn from the literary. I can't wait to be in a room full of writers.

Hold on a minute. I, Judi with an "i," never liked creative writing or English class in elementary, middle or high school. I cringed when I had to take a creative writing class in college. Now, during my life after 50, I enjoy writing and look forward to putting my fingers on the computer keys. Like a good wine that gets better with age, I too have learned to enjoy the things I disliked in my younger years, thanks to the wisdom and wit I have gained with age.

And so dear, dear readers, with many thanks to you, my writer within is emerging. And one day, soon she may be a published author or have a paid byline in a magazine or newspaper.

OMG! Wow-o-wow!

Am I excited? You betcha, betcha, betcha! Hope you are too.

Judi

A Proud Mama Boasts About Her Boy

2012-04-14T07:10:00.002-07:00

I opened the letter that arrived this week from my son D's university. He will graduate in about a month from today.

"Congratulations," read the letter, "I am pleased to advise you that you will be recognized for your academic accomplishments at an awards dinner. You are graduating with Latin Honors: Cum Laude. You will receive a Latin Honors medallion, which can be worn at Commencement."

Tears of joy welled in my eyes. I smiled and jumped up and down. I sent a text to D to tell him how proud his mama is and how proud his dad would have been if he were here. (I know he is looking down on D from up above and quietly beaming.)

Just the other day, I had found D's birth certificate as I was filing away some papers. I was reminded of how quickly he came into the world almost 22 years ago He was born at 12:33 a.m. and I went into labor late the evening before. He was my second child and when his older sister was born, I had to be induced because my water had just trickled out. When I went into labor with D, I had a flood all over the car. We weren't sure whether we were going to make it to the hospital in time.

"The head is crowning," I remember Dr. M saying that night. "The baby is almost here. Just one more push." Out popped D.

"It's a boy," said Dr. M. My husband was smiling from ear to ear. He was so happy to have a son. I on the other hand was concerned. I never thought I would have a boy. How was I going to raise a son? I hadn't grown up with any brothers, only one sister. My father was not a sports enthusiast. I knew about Girl Scouts and Barbies. I knew about party dresses and bows in the hair, not bowties or even how to knot a tie.

Yes, it was a surprise to hold my baby boy D in my arms more than two decades ago. Unlike parents today who want to know the sex of their baby ahead of time (sometimes even through a blue or pink cupcake filling) and post the news all over their Facebook pages in advance of the birth, I never wanted to know the sex of either of my babies ahead of time. To me it was worth the wait.

However, since there was no Facebook or Twitter or YouTube back in 1990, it is fitting that I take an opportunity to boast in a blog post about my boy D who is all grown up now. When I look back on my life of the past 22 years, he is one of my proudest achievements. (Note: Should his sister be reading this post, she and all readers should know that my daughter A is also one of my proudest achievements.)

"I don't know if I want to go to the Awards Ceremony," said D when I spoke to him the other night.

"What do you mean you don't want to go?" I asked politely. "Your mother wants to go."

"We'll see," said D.

"Okay, it's up to you," I said. (What I really wanted to say was that if he didn't want to go, I would go to the dinner for him and get the Latin Honors medallion and maybe I would wear it for him if he really didn't want to wear it.)

I am such a proud mama.

Go D! Go D! Go D!

Judi

Forever Wrinkle Free

2012-04-01T20:26:00.004-07:00

"What about Retin-A for wrinkles?" I asked my dermatologist, as she removed the four stitches from the spot of pre-melanoma that she had taken off my back a week earlier. "Before you try a prescription medication like Retin-A or Renova for your wrinkles," said Dr. W, "I would suggest you try a milder form in an over-the-counter version. Some people are sensitive to Retin-A and you have to stay out of the sun when you use these products. I like the RoC line with retinol. Why don't you try it as a night cream?"

Off I went to Ulta, the beauty supply store, to buy my new wrinkle cream. I purchased the RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Serum. (There were so many products in the skincare aisle that I likely added a wrinkle or two to my face just squinting to read all the fine lines of copy on each package.)

According to the RoC website, RoC Retinol Correxion Deep Wrinkle Serum will help me "get up to 10 years back to the look of my skin." (Ooh, ooh, ooh, will I look like I am 44 instead of 54 after 12 weeks of using this serum? Ooh, ooh, ooh, I hope so!)

After washing my face, dabbing it with diluted cider vinegar, and putting on my RoC retinol serum (it does have a bit of an odd odor to it, but the odor dissipates quickly), I climbed into bed and opened up the March issue of InStyle magazine to learn more about "turning back the clock on aging" from Dr. Fredric Brandt. According to In Style, Dr. Brandt is the celebrity go-to guy for nonsurgical facelifts and so-called Baron of Botox. Here are Dr. Brandt's tips:

1. Dr. Brandt recommends wearing at least a teaspoonful of sunscreen on your face every day. He says "protecting your skin from the sun lets the repair enzymes shift from defending skin to healing it." (I agree and have been using SkinCeuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense SPF 50 on my face instead of foundation. My esthetician D suggested this UVA/UVB sunscreen fluid which is water and sweat resistant. I also like that it is tinted, so I don't have to use foundation.)

2. Dr. Brandt say to exfoliate just once a week with an at-home microderm system or peel. Dr. Brandt says that if you exfoliate too often you won't be able to use other anti-aging products, like retinol. (Ooh, ooh, ooh, I want to use my RoC retinol serum, so I better listen to Dr. Brandt. I only exfoliate when I go for a facial, which has been about once every few months. I will have to do some research on at-home exfoliates or just make more appointments with my esthetician D.)

3. Dr. Brandt says women spend too much time focusing on tiny fine lines that don't have a big impact on their appearance. He says that "it's the changes in the shape of your face - sunken cheeks, undereye hollowing - that really show your age." (Sorry Dr. Brandt, but as of now I am not going under the needle with a filler to plump up my face. Nope - no Restylane for me - not yet - I am too afraid of using any fillers.)

4. Dr. Brandt says that the redness and itching that many people feel when they first add vitamin A-based creams to their regimen are "all part of the acclimation process." To see results, he says you have to persist. (I hear you Dr. Brandt. I will be persistent. I will rock the RoC retinol serum for the next several weeks.)

5. Dr. Brandt says that the older you get, the less foundation you need. He says that "base tends to settle into wrinkles and lines , which makes skin look duller." He says to apply a light weight tinted moisturizer instead of a heavy foundation. (I agree and that's exactly why I switched from foundation to a tinted sunscreen fluid. I feel guilty that I stopped using my Bobbi Brown foundation - so sorry Bobbi I love your makeup book called Living Beauty, plus your name ends in an "i," just like mine.)

6. Dr. Brandt says that "if you don't protect your neck now with SPF, prepare to be covering up in your 50s." (What? Am I going to have to wear turtlenecks for the rest of my life? I really don't like the way turtlenecks look on my body. They do not flatter my face or neck at all.) Wait a minute - Dr. Brandt says that I should not worry. He says that I should be proactive and use cream below my chin, but be careful. So glad I read this article because Dr. Brandt says that "the skin on the neck is more sensitive and that I should use retinol on this "fragile area no more than two or three times a week." (Thank you Dr. Brandt for this important information. I just went out and bought L'oreal Age Perfect cream to put on my neck four to five nights a week when I am not using my retinol serum.)

This is really starting to get very complicated. With my menopausal memory, I know I am going to become confused. I better mark up a calendar just for my wrinkle creams and tape it to my bathroom mirror so I can coordinate my regimen. I do want my face and neck to stay forever wrinkle free during my 50+ years. I definitely don't want to have to wear turtlenecks the rest of my life.

Judi

What To Do About My Cholesterol

2012-03-20T19:55:00.004-07:00

"You look good," said my cardiologist Dr. P as she entered the examining room for my annual check up today. "You haven't gained a pound since last year." (That was because I took off my shoes when I went on the scale for my weigh in. I also dressed light knowing I would have to weigh in. The male nurse said he would deduct two pounds for my clothes. Likely he only took one pound off after he saw me put my shoes on the side of the scale before stepping on.)

The nurse took my blood pressure too. "Fine," he said. "You're due for an EKG," he added as he rolled in the EKG machine. He put the stickers on my body and wired me up. "Fine," he said as he rolled out the machine and left to see his next patient.

"Well, what do you want to do about the Zetia?" said Dr. P. "You know there are some reports that it really isn't necessarily doing anything and there are still studies being done about the long-term side effects.

Ever since I was diagnosed with high cholesterol I have been taking Zetia. It's been about four years now, shortly after going through menopause. I tried statin drugs, but they didn't agree with me, so I went on Zetia. Dr. P had also prescribed daily fish oil capsules as well. My cholesterol seemed to be within a range of about 220 - 230, it never went back down to my pre-menopausal days when it was below 200. (Note that I only take Zetia. I do not take any other statin drug with Zetia, as most of the studies describe.)

What should I do? Hmm, hmm, hmm. Should I go off the Zetia and worry that my cholesterol will go up? Should I stay on the Zetia and worry about the potential long-term side effects, pending future studies? When Dr. P put it in my hands, it was tough to make a decision.

"Why don't you go off the Zetia for two months, but keep taking your fish oil?" said Dr. P. "Then let's check your blood work and see where things stand." Whew, glad Dr. P made the first move. I agree. "It sounds like a good plan," I said.

"I will try to do my best to watch my diet and increase my exercise the next few months too," I promised.

Hmm, hmm, hmm...what should I eat to help lower my cholesterol? According to the Mayo Clinic, diet can play an important role in lowering cholesterol. Here are the five foods that Mayo says can lower cholesterol and protect my heart:

1. Oatmeal, oat bran and high-fiber foods. (I eat high-fiber cereal for breakfast most mornings. Kashi Heart to Heart is my favorite - so nutritious. Plus, I eat a lot of high-fiber fresh fruits and veggies each day. Check, check plus)

2. Fish and omega 3 fatty acids. (Already take my daily fish oil and I eat salmon and tuna often. Maybe I should add another serving of fish to my menu each week. Check, check.)

3. Walnuts, almonds and other nuts. (I will add a handful of almonds or walnuts to my salad. Or include an afternoon snack of nuts, unsalted nuts - to my daily diet. Check minus, but soon to be check plus.)

4. Olive oil. (I always cook with olive oil. My boyfriend L and I like to dip our bread in olive oil when we go out to dinner at the Italian restaurant. Mayo says only about 2 tablespoons of oil a day to cook with or for dipping. Check, check, check - maybe too much checking here - a few less dips might be in order.)

5. Foods with added plant sterols or stanols. (Ooh, supposedly there are margarines and orange juice products that are now available that are fortified with these substances in plants that help block the absorption of cholesterol. Will have to do some research on these foods. No checks here yet.)

I will need to add more cardio workouts to my schedule. And I will continue to read labels for fat content.

Ooh, guess I need to watch my dark chocolate consumption too. One less Hershey Kisses for me. Okay, two less Hershey Kisses for me. Guess I will have to ask my boyfriend L to give me a few extra real kisses to make up for the chocolate ones. It's all for a good cholesterol cause.

Cheers to good health!

Judi

Spring Ahead with Fashion

2012-03-12T20:01:00.001-07:00

I hope you remembered to set your clocks ahead yesterday. It felt great to know that there will be more daylight and that spring is only a week away. What, what, what -- spring is only a week away. I must do my annual spring shopping.

That's why this weekend I made sure to read up on all the spring fashion trends. I finished the March issue of O Magazine, which focused on "decluttering." I did a little 'decluttering' as I reviewed my current closet full of warm weather clothes. "Throw out anything that you haven't worn in a year or two," said the experts at O Magazine. I started to put a bag of old clothes together for Goodwill and there's likely more to come.

I read 1500+ pages about spring fashions including the March issues of InStyle, Vogue, T - The New York Times Style Magazine, and More. Plus I tagged all my favorites in the Nordstrom catalogs that I saved from the past few months.

So what are the latest and greatest colors, shapes and wearables for boomer girls this spring? Here's my recap according to these mags:

Bold Pastels in shades of lilac, mint, rose and lemon are popular, as are pastel hair and nail polish too. (Not one of my favorites since I am classified by Color Me Beautiful as an Autumn, I don't look very good in pastels.)

Romantic elements like peplums, florals, lace and ruffles. (Again, not one of my favorites. However, I do like some of the lace skirts and lace tops that I saw in the Macy's advertisement and in the window display at Ann Taylor. Peplums and ruffles are not appropriate on my short 50+ figure.)

Mad Prints with large geometric designs and polka dots. (Oh, I love polka dots, especially accents of polka dots. Maybe I will get an accessory, such as a scarf, handbag or shoes with polka dots for spring.)

Pleats and more pleats. (No, no, no - pleats don't work with pear-shaped bodies. No pleats for me - thank you very much.)

The Dress Shirt in white button down. (Here we go again - another takeoff on the shirt dress of yesteryear. This is why I should think twice before I "declutter" my closet.You never know when an old trend will become a new trend in the future.)

Sporty looks in comfortable fabrics with bright colors. (Love it, like it, want it. I prefer more casual wear during warmer weather.)

Hi-Gloss with metallic tones and illuminating beads, studs and other embellishments. (I like to shimmer during summer nights. Ooh, ooh, really liked the cotton dress with paillettes by Michael Kors. Maybe if I do more exercise and get rid of my middle-age middle I'll be able to shimmy and shimmer this season.)

Bright day dresses and expressive stripes with bold blocks of color. (I did finally buy a dress for myself last summer. Maybe it is time to buy another one this spring. It is easy to get dressed when all you have to put on is one piece of clothing.)

Nature Prints with flowers and garden colors. (Little bits of nature may work better on my body than an entire dress or top. Flower power is not my thing.)

High Waist silhouettes. (Listen up boomer girls. InStyle editors say that this trend "was a staple in the '70s and '80s."Are you getting nostalgic? Have any of your old high waisted pants buried in the back of your closet? Or if you gave them to Goodwill like I did, you may have to buy some new ones, cause according to InStyle these high waisted pants and skirts will help "legs look longer, the dreaded muffin top bulge and whale tail thong top vanish." Amen, I'm sold.)

Denim shirts are back. So are blurred prints, color blocking, crafty platform shoes and espadrilles (love espas), long skirts (didn't we used to call them maxi skirts in the '70s?), open weave, leopard prints (again, oh peleezze!) and more skinny bright colored jeans and capris.

Can't wait to go spring shopping! Hope my tax return shows up soon. But wait, I was going to save that money for a summer vacation.

Judi

Tablet Technology to the Rescue

2012-03-01T17:53:00.000-08:00

I definitely need to simplify my life. I need to de-clutter my life, like I read this morning in the March issue of O, The Oprah Magazine. The entire issue is devoted to de-cluttering. I haven't finished reading it, so I cannot give you any tips just yet.

I was reminded of why I need to simplify my life yesterday while traveling with a business colleague on the train to Connecticut. He sat there reading the current issue of The Economist on his Nook, quietly flipping the pages in silence with the touch of a finger. (My colleague O also showed me all the back issues of The Economist, which were neatly arranged on his tablet.)

I on the other hand, tried to read my paper copy of The New York Times, which I held tightly with all 10 fingers. (Mind you, the paper had been delivered to my door by the nice newspaper delivery man earlier in the morning in his gas guzzling car.) I carried the newspaper in my briefcase. I unfolded the newspaper section by section. I got my hands full of newsprint. I had to fold the newspaper several times as I read each article, being careful not to hit my colleague O in the lap or arm. Then I threw away the paper, creating more waste. Oh yes, I ripped out an article to bring home to add to the rest of the newspaper articles that are piled high on my desk.

When I was done reading the newspaper, I wasn't able to read my Vogue or InStyle magazines. I didn't bring the March issues because I did not want to carry more than 1200 pages of paper. Instead, I took out my Kindle and read my book. (I have an original Kindle and I'm reading the biography of Steve Jobs by Walter Issacson. It is so, so good.)

"The new iPad 3 is being announced on March 7th," texted my son D.

"The new iPad 3 is coming out next week. Mom you know you need to get one," texted my daughter A.

They are right. I do need to get a tablet. And I need one now.

I have to change my ways and lighten the load for myself and for the environment. I need to clear the clutter of newspapers and magazines that are taking over my bedroom, my dining room table, and kitchen counters. I need to empty the baskets that sit full of printed pieces in my office and family room. I need to throw out the mounds of clippings that are sitting in bins in my garage.

My kids are on the mark-- their mom -- me, me, me -- needs to simplify her life and get a tablet.

Why during my life after 50 am I planning my schedule around the newspaper man and the delivery of The New York Times? I need a tablet.

Why during my life after 50 am I dirtying my hands with newsprint? I need a tablet.

Why during my life after 50 am I using a scissor to clip newspaper articles when I could be using Evernote.com?

Yes, yes, yes...I am saving my dollars, dimes and pennies and next week I am going to change my life for the better and buy an iPad 3 tablet.

Whew, that was a workout. Glad I made that decision so fast.

Go Judi! Go Judi! Go Judi!

Judi

To The Hips, To The Hips

2012-02-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

Everything I eat seems to be going to my hips. Ah yes, and to my stomach too. Perhaps my middle age middle is acting up again.

No matter what I do. No matter what I eat. (Okay, I have been eating too much dark chocolate. My boyfriend L really likes dark chocolate, so what's a boomer girl to do? Not eat it? Isn't dark chocolate good for me?) No matter how much I exercise. (Okay, I haven't been exercising enough. I really do need to do more aerobics. I love my gentle yoga class. Maybe I need to start doing more fast-paced vinyasa flow workouts.)

I've only gained a pound or two, yet my clothes just don't seem to fit me like they used to anymore. My pants are tighter and my waist feels like a ball of rising bread dough that I wish I could punch down into a flat loaf. Some days I feel like singing Beyonce's song "to the left, to the left," only with different words "to the hips, to the hips...

"Mmmm to the hips
Everything is down in a box on the hips"

This morning I was catching up on the February issue of MORE magazine while on my stationary bicycle (trying to get those jiggles on my hips moving). I enjoyed reading psychologist Vivian Diller's article on "HowTo Let Go Of Wanting to Look Young. I wonder if that is my problem. My youthful figure is fading away. Vivian used to be a dancer in her 20s and is now 58. She is the author of "Face It: What Women Really Feel As Their Looks Change."

According to Vivian, "it's okay to cry but then move forward." Here are her steps to help:

1. Face Your Uh-Oh Moment Head On: Acknowledge that your appearance is changing. (I have.) Dig deep to discover what feeling this elicits beyond fear of losing your looks. Being honest about what you are truly scared of will help you face the transition with more confidence. (Thank you Vivian, I have done this and it's all in the hips. My fear is that my pear shape is becoming more of a Bartlett. I must learn to love my body just the way it is during my life after 50.)

2. Listen To Your Internal Dialogue: Pay attention to what you tell yourself when you look in the mirror. (Vivian, you are right. I am over critical of my wrinkles and dark spots on my face. I am overly sensitive about my stomach rolls and my expanding hips. I will rewrite my dialogue and be easier on myself.)

3. Learn To Appreciate Your Appearance Today: Vivian says I should fast-forward 20 years and imagine seeing a photo of what I look like right now. She says I'll probably think I look pretty great and might regret that I didn't enjoy my appearance more when I had the opportunity. (Yes, Vivian, I'm going to change my tune. Thank you. Thank you.)

4. Make Some Healthy Changes: Instead of clinging to the past or trying to recapture the look I had, I should make positive changes that will help me feel attractive right now. (Hmmm, hmmm, maybe I should go back to Macy's and buy The Ultimate Push Up Bra by Maidenform which says it works like magic and adds two cup sizes right before my very eyes! I'm sure that will help me feel more attractive right now and also may turn my pear shape into a more hour-glass 50-plus figure.)

Uh, oh...I didn't finish reading the last step, Vivian really said to make some healthy changes. Okay, okay, I will do that too. I will try to do more exercise too. Thanks for all your great advice.

Judi

Music Memories of My Younger Years

2012-02-14T20:04:00.000-08:00

Maybe it was the Grammy Awards that brought back the memories of music from my younger years. I thought this year's 54th ceremony was one of the best-ever with so many performances by oldies, but goodies like baby boomers Bruce Springsteen and Paul McCartney. (My sister N swooned over Paul when we were growing up. He truly was the cutest Beatle. I was quite young when the Beatles hit the stage on the Ed Sullivan Show, but I remember.)

Or perhaps, it was hearing about the sad passing of Whitney Houston. I used to dance to her tunes throughout the late 80s and 90s. I would turn up the sound and sway my hips whenever I Wanna Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me came on the radio. While I didn't particularly like Kevin Costner and Whitney in The Bodyguard, I did love the soundtrack. Let's see, which were my favorites? Ah yes, I Will Always Love You, I'm Every Woman, and Run To You.

I had new carpeting installed throughout my house two weeks ago. I felt like I was moving all over again. I had to pack up all the books and bottles on my three bookcases in my loft area where I have my home office. As I packed away all my records (yes, I said records) from the 70s and 80s, my heart started to beat a little faster.

My heart was beating faster because my memory was being jogged back to my college days. I could clearly picture the portable stereo and speakers on my dorm room desk where they used to sit. Was it more than 30 years ago? How could that be? Where has the time gone? Back then, my turntable was always revolving with many of the records that now sit silent on my bookcase shelf. I remember...

Janis Ian - Party Lights
Kenny Loggins - Whenever I Call You Friend
Boz Scaggs - Georgia
Linda Ronstadt - Blue Bayou
Carly Simon - Mockingbird
Dan Fogelberg - Leader of the Band (I played that song over and over and over. I was so sad when Dan passed away several years ago. He was such a great musician.)
Gordon Lightfoot - Bend in the Water
James Taylor - You've Got A Friend
Jackson Browne - The Pretender
Barry Manilow (I must have borrowed this album from a friend. Did I really buy a BM record?)
Judy Collins (Send in the Clowns for my namesake Judy.)
Cat Stevens - Wild World, Peace Train, and Another Saturday Night (I played this song every Saturday night when I didn't have anybody to hang out with after I graduated and was single in the city.)
Bonnie Raitt - Good Enough
Bruce Springsteen...The Doobie Brothers...The Moody Blues...Donna Summers...The Pointer Sisters...Simon & Garfunkel...the Beatles, the Beatles, more Beatles

I have so many great music memories from my younger years. As was true at the Grammys this year and as the writer Farhad Manjoo says "everything old is new again." I think I am going to buy an Ion Audio unit (as soon as one is available for sale) which converts vinyl records to digital files. According to Manjoo's NY Times article, "this technology is easy to use because you simply plug in a USB thumb drive to save your music." Plus, it only costs $70.

Ooh,ooh,ooh, I can't. Yes, it's time for me to enjoy these songs of my younger years during my life after 50. I'll be singing and dancing to these tunes again real soon.

Judi

Go Giants!

2012-02-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

"See you on the other side," was the text I received from my son D at 6:00 p.m.

"K," was the text I sent back to him shortly before the game started.

I knew the Giants were going to win Super Bowl XLVI. Bruce Weber spoke about the sprinkling of fairy dust that had settled over the team this year in his article on Friday in the New York Times. He was right. But I knew that this was going to be a winning year, because the Giants and the Super Bowl have been in my family's history for so many defining moments:

* The winning season was 1986 and my daughter A was born. I went and bought a Giants jersey for A to wear to the Super Bowl that January.

* The winning season was 1990 and my son D was born. He wore the Giants jersey that A had worn four years prior.

* The winning season was 2007 and the Giants played again in the Super Bowl in January 2008. This time they won as a memorial for my husband M, one of their biggest fans, who passed away shortly before the season ended. Two thousand eight was also the year that my daughter A graduated from college and my son D graduated from high school.

Now as my son edges closer to his May 2012 graduation date, the Giants have brought our family another Super Bowl championship. Four for four.

"I'll see you on Tuesday," was the text message I sent to A and D shortly after the Giants won.

"Ha ha, you're crazy, but I love ya," was the text my son D sent back.

I think it is about time I framed that 18 month size Giants jersey and put it above my mantle where it belongs. Yes, that's what I am going to do...that is after I get back from the ticker tape parade on Tuesday.

Go Giants!

Judi

Is Retirement the "Age of Opportunity?"

2012-01-29T14:21:00.000-08:00

This month, I celebrated my 54^th birthday. Maybe that’s why when I heard about the Age of Opportunity study from The Hartford and MIT AgeLab, I was eager to hear the findings. The study measured the opinions and concerns of Americans both in and approaching retirement. (Ooh, ah. Ooh, ah. I fall into the second category, being within 10 years of retirement.)

The study found that “most retirees are pleased with their life, and both pre-retirees and retirees have a positive attitude about retirement overall." According to the study:

* “Retirees are more likely to say “I am happier now that I am retired” (77 percent) than those who have yet to retire are to say “I will be happier after I retire” (64 percent.)” (There is so much opportunity to look forward to when I eventually retire. I will write my book or maybe write two books. Or perhaps, I will study to become a yoga teacher. Ooh, ooh, maybe I will teach yoga to children – I don’t think I am flexible enough to teach yoga to adults. However, my yoga teacher did just ask me to play a student in her upcoming yoga DVD. Imagine me a student star. The best is truly yet to come.)

* “Other than wishing they could retire earlier (35 percent of pre-retirees), many soon-to-be retirees see few negatives about retiring.” (Hmm, hmm, hmm. That’s good news.)

* “Twenty-six percent of those nearing retirement said they feel “hopeful” about retirement.” (I second that opinion.)

* “Among those who did find something less than positive about the next phase of their lives, dealing with medical or health issues was cited most often (21 percent for pre- retirees).” (My dad always said “if you’ve got your health you’re rich.” While I didn’t listen to him when I was younger, now I know he was a wise man.)

* When it comes to money, “pre-retirees said a milestone birthday (19 percent) or the realization that they are within 10 years of retiring (15 percent) were the two most common triggers for serious financial planning. It also seems that early planning plays off: More affluent retirees – those with $250,000 or more of investable assets – are twice as likely to say they began serious financial planning when they got their first job.” (Really, their first job? Really? I definitely did not take financial planning seriously when I was 22 years old. Did you? I cannot remember when I started to take financial planning more seriously. Maybe it was in my 30s.)

If you want to learn about your financial style, I suggest you take a fun online quiz from Chase Blueprint. I ranked “financially savvy.” Go Judi! Go Judi! Go Judi! To take the quiz and also find out about saving for retirement go to: www.chasefinancialwellness.com.

* Oh yes, there was one more interesting bit of news in the Age of Opportunity survey. “When asked what song they’d use to describe the retirement they have, or the one they hope to have, both groups most often chose “I Did It My Way.” (Really? A Frank Sinatra song? Come on baby boomers? Really? What song would I choose? Let’s see. This is a difficult question. Wait, I’ve got it. I think for right now I’m going to choose “Working on A Dream” by boomer guy Bruce Springsteen.)

Yes, I am going to be working on my dream in my retirement years. The best is truly yet to come.

Judi

Note on Age of Opportunity Survey Methodology: From Oct. 3-16, 2011, GfK Roper conducted a total of 1,964 telephone interviews with adults 45 years and older using RDD (random digit dialing). To qualify, respondents must have retired in the past 2-10 years (“retiree”) or plan to retire in the next 2-10 years (“pre-retiree”). These groups were further divided based on their household’s total investable assets, with quotas for under $250,000 and $250,000 or higher.

Life's A Great Balancing Act

2012-01-19T20:16:00.000-08:00

I wanted to take his fears away. I wanted to tell my son D that everything was going to be okay. He was anxious about going back to school for his last semester of college.

"What will life be like after college?" he said, "I don't know what I want to do. I'm not sure what I want to be."

I told him that I too was scared of the change from student to working girl more than three decades ago when I graduated from college. I remember going cross country during the summer after my senior year. I was a chaperone for a teen tour. It was an incredible experience. I didn't look forward to returning home, nor to the full-time job search. I took the first job I found and became a secretary at a small ad agency. That job lasted a few months and then I went to work as an editor in publishing. Two years later I went to work for a food manufacturer and then another food manufacturer and there I stayed, working my way up the career ladder. I never became the famous fashion designer I always dreamed I'd be, but I've had a successful career. (Maybe I will be a famous writer and author during my life after 50. Many famous people have become famous during their third act.)

I wanted to take his fears away. I tried to share some of my 35+ years of wisdom with my son D. I stayed up until 1:00 a.m. talking. I don't know that he was ready or willing to listen. He was too anxious.

"Your years after college will be some of the best years of your life," I said. "I loved my twenties. No more homework. No more tests. No more school books. No spouse or kids. No lawns to mow or house to clean. No mortgage to pay."

I wanted to take his fears away. But, I could not do it.

As D approaches adulthood, it's time for me to take a step back and for him to take the lead. (Go D! Go D! Go D!) "You know I will always be your biggest supporter and I will always love you," I said to D. "And, I will continue to feel your pain." (Okay, I didn't say the second sentence out loud, but as a Jewish mother, rest assured that I will always feel my son's pain even if I cannot take it away.)

I put D on the bus back to school on Wednesday morning. Off he went to the big city. Then I took myself to Starbucks, ordered a Skinny Vanilla Decaf Latte and a slice of Reduced Fat Blueberry Coffeecake, and breathed a sigh of relief. Ahh. Omm. Ahh. Omm.

I know my son D is going to do great things in his life after college. (Go D! Go D! Go D!) He will face many of life's ups and downs. I hope he listens to Dr. Seuss. who says it best in his book, "Oh, the Places You Will Go!"...

"On and on you will hike.
And I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are."

"You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know."

"You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left."

Go D! Go D! Go D!

Judi

How To Get More Beauty Sleep

2012-01-11T18:50:00.000-08:00

After nights of not sleeping, I finally took myself to the sleep doctor this morning. I had made an appointment more than a month ago. Dr. A's schedule was booked, booked, booked. So many people have sleep issues these days.

My appointment was very prompt. No long wait in the waiting room. (Guess they don't want insomniacs to fall asleep while they wait.)

I filled out a simple sleep survey. I answered "rarely" to most of the questions. For example, I "rarely" fall asleep when I watch television. (My son D disagreed when I told him about my answer. "Mom, give me a break, you frequently fall asleep when you're watching television," said D. "I always have to wake you up when your show comes back on after a commercial.") I "rarely" fall asleep when I lie down to take an afternoon nap. (My boyfriend L, on the other hand, frequently falls asleep when he takes weekend naps.)

After my survey, it was time to meet Dr. A. He was very alert, likely he had had a good night's sleep. I bet he knows all the tricks, I thought. I was eager to have him share his sleep secrets with me.

"When did you start having sleep problems?" asked Dr. A.

"Peri and meno, peri and meno," that's all I had to say plus, "shortly before my fiftieth birthday and ever after. "I used to be a great sleeper when I was in my twenties. I would put my head on the pillow and kaboom, I was out for the count. Not now. Not during my life after 50. No, no, no."

Dr. A asked a few more questions. He wanted to know if I was depressed. "No." He wanted to know if I had restless legs. "No." He wanted to know if I had any extreme pain in my back or neck or other parts of my body. "No." He wanted to know if I stopped breathing during sleep. "No sleep apnea."

Then Dr. A said the magic words, "It's all about sleep hygiene. You have to take a cognitive approach. There are no magic cures or perfect drugs."

So what's a 50 year old boomer girl to do? How can I get more beauty sleep?

Want to know Dr. A's tips? Do ya? Do ya? Okay, here goes:

* "Don't go to bed until you are really tired, even if it is late at night or early morning." (While I always thought I should aim for an early bedtime, I was pleased to learn that it doesn't matter if I go to bed at 11:00 p.m. or 12:00 a.m., as long as I am tired.)

* "If you haven't fallen asleep within 30 - 60 minutes, get out of bed and do something else. Read a book, watch television or even have a light snack. Bed is only for sleep and sex, not lying awake at night and counting sheep." (Ooh, ooh, ooh, Dr. A. I will no longer lie in bed for hours and hours. Maybe I will move a big comfy chair into my bedroom and put a floor lamp nearby so I can read in a chair instead of in bed. I can also watch television in my big comfy chair. Yes, that is exactly what I am going to do. Soon, soon, soon. As soon as I find a pretty blue accent chair to match my pretty blue accent wall. I'm charging my Kindle for future sleepless nights.)

* "Take Ambien if you haven't slept in several nights. Take it 30 minutes before you are going to bed." (I don't like to take Ambien too often, but I do take it occasionally when I really, really need it.)

* "Make sure to exercise. And try wake at the same time every day." (I do use my stationary bicycle each morning. I do yoga and mindfulness meditation a few times a week. Lift my weights on the weekend. I walk too. Okay, okay, I really should walk more often. As for timely sleep, can I not sleep in on the weekend? Oh, please. Pretty please!)

* "Stay off the computer before bedtime." (That means no blogging before bed. Uh, oh. No. No.)

That means I have to sign off soon. I need time away from my computer to decompress and relax before bedtime. I may never get the recommended eight hours of sleep a night - four or five may be the best for me. Dr. A said that's okay.

I promised to maintain a sleep diary for two weeks and will be back to report to Dr. A in late February.

Sleeping Beauty Judi

Stepping Slowly Into The New Year

2012-01-02T13:17:00.000-08:00

It's 2012. Have you made any resolutions yet? According to my yoga teacher N, yogis do not set resolutions because resolutions take you too far into the future. Yogis set intentions, which are more about the present, about the here and now.

It is January 2nd and like a good yogi, I am going to set an intention. My intention for today and for tomorrow and for the rest of this week is to continue to slow down and savor every moment.

According to Marcia Wieder, Americas Dream Coach, there are four steps to setting an intention:

1. Get clear about something you want and write it down. (Okay, I can do that. I want to slow down in 2012, not rush, rush, rush. I will put less on my 'to do' list each day. I want to slow down and take more time to enjoy wonderful books like the one I am reading called "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close." My intention is to not see the movie, which just premiered last week, until I finish the book. )

2. Share your intention with someone in a way that will supportively hold you accountable to taking action. (Okay, I can do that. Dear fellow boomer girls, I want you to comment on this blog post or like me on Facebook@Judi Boomer Girl and ask me every so often if I am slowing down in 2012. If you have an intention, let me know what your intention is for this moment of the new year. I will try to hold you accountable too.)

3. Do something today to demonstrate your commitment to your intention. (Since I had the day off today, I went to yoga class and had a massage with my favorite massage therapist D. I felt so relaxed afterwards. Tonight, I am going to make sure to go to bed before midnight - okay, before 11:00 p.m. - okay, before 10:00 p.m. - so I am ready to rise and shine when my alarm wakes me at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning to start my fast-paced life again. Uh oh! Uh oh! No, no, no - slow down, remember!)

4. Acknowledge that you did what you said you would and then take the next step. (I did a good job of slowing down the last few days of 2011. And I am starting the new year out pretty good these past two days. Now I need to take that next step like Americas Dream Coach Marcia says. Can I do it? Will I continue my slow steps into 2012? )

Yesterday, I was reminded of slowing down when I read Pico Iyer's "The Joy of Quiet" commentary in The New York Times Week In Review. Pico quotes from Nicholas Carr's book "The Shallows,"which says that "The average American spends at least eight and a half hours a day in front of a screen, in part because the number of hours American adults spent online doubled between 2005 and 2009. (Nicholas' book was a finalist for the 2011 Pulitzer Prize in General Nonfiction. Wow-o-wow. I must make this an intention for my 2012 reading list.)

Pico continues to say that "The urgency of slowing down - to find the time and space to think - is nothing new..." and adds that "more and more people I know, even if they have no religious commitment, seem to be turning to yoga, or meditation, or tai chi; these aren't New Age fads so much as ways to connect with what could be called the wisdom of old age."

So dear boomer girls, as I step slowly into the new year during my life after 50, I wish you all a very happy and healthy 2012. May you too savor each and every quiet and slow moment this year brings you.

Judi

P.S. - For those of you who read my last blog post of 2011 titled "Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?," please know that my husband's gravestone was discovered under a bed of grass that the new cemetery landscapers had mowed by mistake over his plot. Thank you for your kind words of support.

Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?

2011-12-20T05:03:00.000-08:00

Sunday was the fourth anniversary of my husband M's passing. It was a bright and sunny day. It was very cold outside. I put on my black fleece jacket and drove over to the cemetery. I brought a rock to place on my husband's gravestone. It was a special rock. It was the rock that I had brought back from the Miraval Spa in Tucson, where I had gone in 2009 after a year of grief. It was time for me to release this precious rock and place it by M.

I drove into the cemetery as I normally do, around the bend, around one more bend, in front of the mausoleum. There were lots of cars around, others were visiting their loved ones too. I stopped the car in my usual spot, right in front of the bench which is home to another's very large gravestone (you can actually sit on the gravestone while you pray.)

I walked through mounds of mud left from the rainy weather. I navigated through the musty grass, some brown, some green. There were leaves over some of the gravestones and I brushed them aside, being careful not to step on anyone's stone.

I bent over to put my rock down on my husband's gravestone. I closed my eyes to pray. My hands felt the cold grass, my hands felt more cold grass, and more and more...but, but, but my hands did not feel any cold gravestone! There was no gravestone at his site.

"How could this be?" I said to myself. "How is this possible?" I know where M's gravesite is located. I've been visiting for the past four years.

I looked to the left. No M. I looked to the right. No M. I walked further back. No M. I walked forward. No M.

"How could this be?" I said to myself, as I got in the car and drove to the cemetery office to check out the situation.

"Closed for the rest of December," said the sign on the office door.

I drove back to the spot where I had just walked. I parked again and walked all around from end to end. I looked and looked as the sun started to set, but there was no M gravestone to be found.

"Just go home," said my daughter A on the phone. "Calm down mom, and I'll help you find it next week when I am home. I'm sure it is right there. You are just missing it."

"Wherefore art thou Romeo?" I wanted to cry, "Wherefore art thou?" It was a sunny afternoon and the Giants were playing the Redskins. My husband M was a big Giants fan. Perhaps he left to watch the game and his stone will be back in place later this week. Yes, that must be it. My forgetfulness is abundant during my life after 50, especially after many sleepless nights.

I returned home and put my special Miraval rock back on its perch on my nightstand. I'll place it on my beloved's gravestone another time whenever art thou returns.

Judi

The Beauty of Wisdom

2011-12-13T20:42:00.000-08:00

As I get ready to honor the anniversary of my husband's passing and light the yazheit candle this coming Sunday, as we do in the Jewish religion, I've been thinking about all the years gone by, yet also thinking about the exciting years to come.

It's been four years since M departed and left me to fend for myself after almost 25 years of marriage.

It's been exactly one year since I sold my house and moved into my new town home. I have no regrets. It was a difficult, but smart move - it definitely simplified my life after 50. I still have three or four more boxes that I haven't unpacked. Since I haven't looked inside these boxes after a year, I'm starting to wonder if I should just throw them out. Do I really need this stuff?

Next month I will turn 54. I'm inching closer to my mid-fifties. What happened to the last four years? Didn't I just turn 50? And what about the past 25?

I was reminded of some of my younger years when I read Frank Bruni's Op Ed piece today in the New York Times. It is titled "Time, Distance And Clarity." Frank writes that "This is the stretch of the calendar from Thanksgiving through New Year's when many of us revisit the places we've left behind." He says, "The journeys can be difficult and I don't mean the brawls over the overhead bin. Nor do I mean what Thomas Wolfe did when he contemplated the messiness of going home again, stirring up resentments and confronting how much - and it - have changed."

Frank goes on to say, "What weighs on me is the opposite: how much everything has no doubt stayed the same, coupled with the recognition that I didn't appreciate or really even examine it before. There lies the sorrow."

Frank, you are right on the money with how I've been feeling this week. I too want to go back in time and really soak up all the blessings and experiences of my youth, like your friend J says, "we're not only older and wiser when we circle back to our former homes but we're also, even more crucially, unencumbered guests able to take their measure and siphon off their pleasures in a way we couldn't before."

So where should I start? I think I need to visit The New York Botanical Garden near where I grew up in the Bronx. Oftentimes, my mom and dad would make me take walks through the gardens on sunny weekends. I found our walks among the plants to be flat out boring. In fact, when my mom would make me walk through the Conservatory, I would cry out "please don't make me go through that hot house with all those wet plants."

Now that I am older and wiser I have a great fondness for plants and flowers and all things green. I can't wait to go back and explore the Conservatory's acre of plants and take an ecotour around the world of rainforests, deserts and aquatic and carnivorous plants.

I just love all this wisdom, it's be-you-tee-full.

Judi

P.S. Thank you to all my readers who have filled out my survey. If you haven't had a chance to do so, please take a few minutes to answer a few questions. Your feedback is important to me as I evolve my blog to a more robust platform. Click here to take the survey. I'll share the results in future blog posts.

Hearing Back From My Boomer Girl Readers

2011-12-06T19:30:00.001-08:00

It will be almost five years next month since I started blogging. Back in 2007, when I began my first blog to record my countdown to my 50th birthday, I never dreamed I'd be blogging five years later. Blogging has helped me find my authentic voice.

One of the major reasons I have continued to blog is because of you, my readers. You have kept me smiling during my low periods, during those dark days when my husband was ill. You were my support during the months after my husband passed away and I wondered how I was going to manage as a widow. You were there for me during the good times and continue to be there as I navigate through my empty nest and my new life after turning 50. Through you I have built a virtual community of boomer girls from around the world who I can converse with, laugh with and interact with on a weekly basis.

Over the years, I've shared my ups and downs, my happiness and my fears, my hopes and my dreams for my life after 50. As I get ready to expand my blog and move to a new more robust blogging platform, I want to hear from you. I hope you will take a few minutes this week to respond to my blog survey. Your feedback will help me to create a better blog, with richer content that I hope you will continue to enjoy reading and sharing with your friends. The new "Judi Boomer Girl" blog is a work in progress that I plan to launch in the new year. It's exciting and I need your help to make it a success.

So, dear readers, now it is my turn to hear from you. Click here to take the survey.

Thanks in advance for your feedback. All responses are anonymous, unless you would like to add your name and location to any answer. I'll be sharing the feedback in an upcoming blog post. I greatly appreciate your thoughts, ideas and suggestions.

Stay tuned for new news as I build the best ever "Judi Boomer Girl" blog.

Judi

Are You Ready To Relinquish?

2011-11-30T15:24:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking about the word relinquish ever since I went to yoga class last Friday. It was so special to go to yoga on a weekday morning. A real treat because I had the day off from work.

My yoga teacher P talked her fellow yogis (of which I am one) through a practice to help us let go of our stress.

"Relinquish any of the tightness that is in your body," said P. (I felt my body relaxing from head to toe.)

"Relinquish any of the thoughts that are in your mind and any judgements you may have at this moment," said P. (I let my mind go blank and stopped thinking about all the food I had eaten the night before at Thanksgiving.)

P said that as we relinquish it opens our body and mind to greater transformation.

Just hearing the word - relinquish - makes me relax. It is truly a wonderful word and I want to make sure I keep it high up in my vocabulary every day, especially each night before I go to bed.

Try saying the word several times and I think you will see what I mean. Try it. Go ahead. I'll say it with you: "Relinquish, relinquish, relinquish."

Do you feel more relaxed? If not, say it three more times and even repeat its meaning (This word is so special that the dictionary has given it three equally relaxing meanings.)

Relinquish - "put aside or desist from something practiced, professed or intended"

Relinquish - "surrender and let go"

Relinquish - "cease holding physically, release"

Ohm, ohm, ohm, what a feeling to relinquish. Maybe I should tattoo this word on my body so I remember it during my life after 50. I do forget words, names and phrases so easily nowadays.

Judi