Geek-Fu

I hate going to weddings because of this...

2012-11-27T15:00:00.001-05:00

I hate going to weddings because of this... - http://ifunny.mobi/iB0Mce4ua

Skitsofrantic Monkey

2012-11-25T23:29:00.001-05:00

Grumpy monkey learns to lol - http://ifunny.mobi/i5u5rLhda

Jew Jitsu

2012-11-25T23:13:00.000-05:00

The Jewish ninja! - http://ifunny.mobi/iPeM5Ubda

Has this happened to you?

2012-11-25T00:17:00.001-05:00

Hate weddings - http://ifunny.mobi/iYinWOuJa

From the archives

2012-11-24T23:57:00.000-05:00

Make me a sammich! - http://ifunny.mobi/i5NJM4cTa

Come on down...

2011-11-09T11:27:00.001-05:00

Guess where I live!

Justin Bieber is gonna be a daddy! LOL!!!

2011-11-05T11:41:00.001-04:00

And he has terrible taste... Skank alert! Seriously, this bitch looks way too old for him. I believe she will be going to jail, maybe? Trying to get half of Biebers shit and child support me thinks! What are your thoughts?

What should I dress up as, for Halloween?

2011-10-26T23:05:00.001-04:00

For Halloween, should I dress up as either: Zombie Steve Jobs, or a Race Car Driver on Fire? Too soon? :p

Visit my facebook page and place your vote on who I should dress up as!
Click here to visit Geek-Fu Facebook!

Harvey Dent!!!! CAN WE TRUST HIM?!?!?!!

2011-10-17T12:43:00.000-04:00

I think Arkham City will be a lot like this!

To all of u who think I don't blog enough

2011-05-26T17:26:00.001-04:00

That is all..

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Geek-Fu Store!

2011-05-19T21:26:00.000-04:00

Like some of the goofy quotes you see from my Twitter and Facebook? Then show your geek love! Buy an obscene t-shirt or apron (for your woman in the kitchen)!

Browse other personalized gifts from Zazzle.

Upcoming Mortal Kombat Patch

2011-05-19T14:43:00.001-04:00

With the rising popularity of the Mortal Kombat reboot, new characters and game fixes are imminent. Ed Boon, co-creator of Mortal Kombat, sits down with G4tv to discuss future plans for the game. Ed Boon also states on his twitter page @noobde "Patch improves overall online experience!" Two new playable characters, Skarlet and Kenshi will be realeased. As well as a few character nerfs. And yes, for all of you Ermac fans, the developers agree that "he is a tad overpowered!" >:D

Another relieving patch fix will be an alleviation to most of the game latency issues. Lag seems to be the worst in ranked matches and king of the hill games. In all honesty it depends on the opponents internet connection... I dunno' about you guys, but I'm totally stoked and ready for this lag fix, as well as the MK3 Cyrax and Sector costumes! No official announcement has been released for the upcoming DLC and patch. However, Ed Boon drops hints on when it might come out in the G4tv interview!

PS3 Games - E3 2011 - Mortal Kombat

Think Geek

2011-05-13T13:08:00.000-04:00

Have you been searching for a geeky gift for somebody you know? Or maybe something for yourself, so you can wave it in your friends face to assert your geek dominance. This website is very cool, and I found a few things for my girlfriend there as well! www.thinkgeek.com (yes my girlfriend is a geek... BE JEALOUS!)

This wand is pretty cool! You can buy it on the ThinkGeek.com website via this URL http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/home-entertainment/cf9b/ You can program it to change TV channels with a flick of the wrist! You can also turn the volume up and down with it. It has 13 different programmable functions. Perfect for any Harry Potter nerd... Personally, I'd prefer Star Wars...

Round 2! Xbox slim, is it worth it?

2011-05-06T21:54:00.001-04:00

I had an original, 1st gen xbox360 that finally killed itself on monday. So I had to go out and get a replacement. I must say... It is pretty sexy! It is really quiet. Very nice not to have an xbox that sounds like a shop vac! The extra memory is nice too! My old one only had 10 gigs, as opposed to the 250 I have now. :) I dont have to worry about deleting old arcade games to get new ones.

The insides are better too! I shouldn't have to worry about the red ring of death on this one. Even tho I never had that problem on my old one. I also got a new controller at gamestop. It has an adjustable d-pad so I can make it work better for fighting games. The controller was expensive but should save me from putting holes in my drywall.

I'm typing from my android so I cant get too specific. But if u need a new xbox dont get ur old one repaired. Its more worth the money to buy a slim if u are out of warranty.

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Virgin Mobile's LG Optimus V Phone Review

2011-05-03T03:11:00.000-04:00

I'll start off by saying, "Lets keep this short." I don't like to read anymore than you do, so I'll just give you the juicy parts so you can decide if this product is worth looking at more in depth by somebody who probably knows less about the world than I do, via youtube. (Good luck with that btw. All the reviews I found were from fat kids who were talking about how to turn the phone on and shit.)

So your poor like me? We have something in common!

Virgin Mobile is a great service if you want the cheapest unlimited data plan out there. I spend about $27 a month on this phone's service plan (after tax).
Be sure you check your area to see if there is adequate coverage. Since Virgin Mobile is a branch off of Sprint, they say you get to use the fastest 3G network via Sprint. Unfortunately you are a poor bastard who probably works at McDonalds, therefore you don't get the luxury of having the "whole" Sprint network. Just bits and pieces.
Holy shit its an Android! Yep, even cheap bastards like me get to use this operating system. And it runs very smoothly! I actually like the setup better than the iphone. (it feels more like a phone than a media center)

Pros:

Its cheaper than paying $40 + a month for using the exact same plan as Sprint's version of the phone.
When you have service, it runs almost flawlessly! I have had very few problems with this phone. The only error I have encountered was a problem that was caused by one of the apps. Juice Defender (a power saving app) had changed my phones power usage, so whenever it was in sleep mode it lost signal... I'll spare you the profanities I shouted while troubleshooting...
Angry Birds!
I can add minutes to my plan anytime I want without having to pay extra per month. It costs 10 cents per minute if you go over your month's allowed minutes. (depending on which plan you choose)
NO CONTRACT! If you absolutely hate the phone, you can cancel without having to pay a disconnect fee. If you hate it that bad, they will even refund your purchase of the phone. As long as it is within 30 days of buying the phone.
3.2 mega pixel camera. You can even download apps that turn off the "recording" or "clicking" sound when taking pictures/video. Thus allowing you to covertly spy on people without them knowing you are taking pictures. aka JAMES BOND SHIT!
The sound quality of phone conversations is pretty clear. The other person can also understand you pretty clearly. (beats the hell out of Verizon's sound quality)

Cons:

Outsourcing... You can't go 1 inch on their customer service line without talking to Achmed the dead terrorist... Even when making a purchase you have to deal with scripted jibberish.
Battery life is pretty low. However you can download apps that prolong the battery life.
The battery gets very hot when using apps.
Limited service coverage. (BE SURE TO CHECK THE SERVICE IN YOUR AREA BEFORE BUYING!!!)

I don't do a lot of traveling, the area I live in is completely covered by Virgin Mobile's service plan. However, if I travel further south (about 1 hour away) I will lose service completely. (I never stray too terribly far away from home, so this works out for me)
This is not a phone provider you want to use if you do a lot of traveling!

Terrorists!

Data coverage is spotty when driving. Even in areas where I get good coverage. This isn't a hugely horrible thing. It's not like I cant use the phone at all while driving. After-all, you shouldn't text and drive anyway! Bad things could happen, and you could orphan a horrible British child actor. As portrayed in this hilarious public service announcement.

But for reals, its not funny... Actually I found the video hysterical!

Overall:

I am very pleased with the product! I didn't have to pay an arm and left testicle for service, and it does exactly what I need it to do. I use more data than I do minutes, and I never drive too far away from home or work; so this service works out perfectly for me! If I run over on my 300 minute limit, I can always "top-up" or add minutes to my phone without having to alter my current plan. Your plan's minutes reset every month, and if you have any extra time that you added on from going over on a previous month, then it will carry over. There is no commitment, so if you hate the service you can return the phone for a full refund and cancel your agreement. NO DISCONNECT CHARGE! And... HOLY SHIT IT'S AN AFFORDABLE ANDROID!

And if your thinking, "I'm not going to use Virgin Mobile, I don't want to affiliate myself in any way shape or form with poverty stricken individuals! Even if this plan has everything I need for a cheap price..." Well then you can go to hell with Osama...

Oooooh, too soon? :(

Osama Red Ringed!

2011-05-02T00:58:00.000-04:00

Whelp, it finally happened! Yes... What you hear is true... My Xbox is dead! While playing through the ladder as Sub-Zero I reach Shao Khan; as the match starts his first hit on me causes my Xbox to scramble its brains... Thus confirming the fact that Shao Khan is the cheapest boss in history! He has obtained the ability to merge realms using my Xbox as a portal. Let it be known that this is the first time that Mortal Kombat has committed a fatality on a gaming system...

Frustrated after my Xbox red ringed, I turn on the television only to find out that at the exact time my Xbox had died was the same time that, officially, Osama Bin Laden had been pronounced dead! 10:45 pm. EST. The greatest news was that he was shot "at least once in the head" according to CNN, by a small US sting operation taking place in Pakistan and NO AMERICANS WERE HARMED during this firefight! FLAWLESS VICTORY! The national anthem was played outside my apartment complex, as drunken hillbillies chanted "U.S.A.!" I joined them in the chanting. Only I was not chanting "U.S.A." I was chanting FATALITY!!!

Mortal Kombat (2011) Fatality List

2011-04-27T12:05:00.013-04:00

These codes work for Xbox 360 and PS3. However it was originally written for the Xbox version. All you have to do is adapt the buttons.

Y = Triangle
X = Square
B = Circle
A = X
Right Trigger () = R2

You can Hold Block while you do the movements, and release it before the Final button. (Example {Hold Block}{release Block} then press ,,,, or)
Smoke and Sindel's Babalities DO NOT have ,,, at the end.

Scorpion

Split Decision: (Touching)
NetherGate: (Touching)
(Classic DLC) Toasty!: (Jump)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Liu Kang

Fist of Flame: (Sweep)
Beast Within: (Jump)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Kung Lao

Hat Trick: (Sweep)
Razor's Edge: (Sweep)
Babality:(Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Sub-Zero

Have an Ice Day: (Sweep)
Spinal Smash: (Sweep)
(Classic DLC) Spine/Head Rip: (Touching)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Sindel

Migraine: (Sweep)
Mouthful: (Sweep)
Babality:(Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Ermac

Mind over Splatter: (Jump)
Pest Kontrol: (Jump)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage:(Close)

Reptile

Acid Yak: (Sweep)
Weight Loss: (Sweep)
(Classic DLC) Skull Snack: (Jump)
Babality:
Stage: (Close)

Kitana
Fan Opener: (Sweep)
Splitting Headache (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Johnny Cage

Heads Up: (Touching)
And the Winner is...:(Sweep){Has been done from 'Touching' also}
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Jade

Head-a-Rang: (Full Screen)
Half Mast: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Mileena

Be Mine: (Jump)
Rip Off
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

NightWolf

Little off the Top: (Jump)
Ascension: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Cyrax

BuzzKill: (Touching)
Nothing But Net: (Jump)
Babalitly (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Noob Saibot

Make a Wish: (Jump)
As One: (Jump)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Smoke

Smoked Out: (Sweep)
Tremor: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Sektor

Robo-Sek: (Full Screen)
The Scarecrow: (Full Screen)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Sonya

Scissor Split: (Jump)
Kut Throat: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Jax

Smash & Grab: (Touching)
Three Points!: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Kano

Heartbreak: (Sweep)
Eat your heart out: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Stryker

Time Served: (Sweep)
Have a Blast: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Shang Tsung
Bang Bang!: (Sweep)
Identity Theft: (Jump)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Baraka

Up the Middle: (Sweep)
Take a Spin: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage:(Close)

Kabal

Hook Up: (Sweep)
It takes Guts: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Raiden

Just A Scratch: (Jump)
Transplant: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Sheeva

Stripped Down: (Sweep)
Lend a Hand: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Cyber Sub-Zero

Kold Fusion: : (Jump)
Brain Freeze: (Jump)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Quan Chi

Beat Down: (Sweep)
On Your Knees: (Sweep)
Babality: (Jump)
Stage: (Close)

Kratos - PS3

Blade Of Olympus: Triangle (Sweep
Medusa’s Gaze: Square (Jump)
Babality: Triangle (Jump)
Stage: X (Close)

original post located: http://www.xbox360achievements.org/forum/showthread.php?t=305848

Mortal Kombat Secret Character Tryouts

2011-04-24T19:31:00.000-04:00

Found these videos today. Thought they were quite humorous, especially if you were a Mortal Kombat fan back in the day. Enjoy!

FINISH HIM!!!

2011-04-21T23:38:00.000-04:00

Violent video games aren't bad for you! I don't care who says it, I will never be changed for the worse by having played Mortal Kombat, Halo, Call of Duty, Splatterhouse, or any other mindless game where I kill just for fun. When I worked at Lamestop I'd have people ask stupid questions all the time! A lot of people were jerks when I told them that their game was worthless and that I couldn't trade it in because there was a huge crack in the disc. Then they retaliated by saying "What? There isn't a crack there when I brought it here! What did you do to it?!" But it didn't bother me at all! I just went to my happy place!

In my happy place, the world around me and the person who annoyed me got dark. Our eyes locked in an epic showdown and I heard a voice in the background yell "FINISH HIM!" I then thought, "forward, down, forward, triangle!" I pulled out a shovel and dismembered him over and over again. When there was nothing left to dismember, I repeatedly bashed his skull in with his own leg. And then I held his spine up triumphantly for the whole world to see! I heard the same voice yell "FLAWLESS VICTORY!"

I then snapped back to reality and said... "Would you like to subscribe to Game Informer?"

Mortal Kombat 2011 Review

2011-04-20T23:54:00.000-04:00

Let me open this by stating that I am not being paid by anybody to make this post. I feel as an avid gamer and klassic Mortal Kombat fan that it is my duty to spread the word about this amazing game. That being said, let me start off on an odd note and state all of the things that I did not like. (Yes I've played both the PS3 and Xbox version quite a bit)

My hands really really hurt after all of the button mashing/combo practice
I smashed my controller twice trying to beat story mode. (yeah it broke into two pieces...) But I managed to put it back together and it works fine.
The Xbox's controllers suck. The d-pad is very sloppy for combos/fatalities. (I strongly suggest buying a special fighting game controller)
I am horribly saddened that there are no brutalities... (Maybe DLC?!?!? plz plz plz!!!!)
Kratos sucks! At-least I didn't like playing as him... Hes too slow for somebody who has killed all of the gods...
Ed Boone still won't let the theme song for the movies be in the game... :(

Before I go on, if you are lazy and don't like to read then I strongly suggest you take my advice "BUY THIS GAME!" It is a magnificent work of art, and has quite a bit of play time. I spent about 5 hours or so on the story mode alone. And there are tons of extras I have yet to unlock. Very much worth the $60 bucks. It sucks to be Australia right now!

Fatalities are very over the top and well done! All of your buddies will bow before you when you kill off their favorite characters in the bloodiest, most sickening thing to hit the ESRB since the original Mortal Kombat games!

That's about it... There isn't really anything major that I did not like about this game. 9.5 out of 10 is what I give it! I have never in my life played a fighting game that was so near perfection as Mortal Kombat is! And I usually HATE fighting games. Mortal Kombat and Soul Calibur are the only fighting games I've liked. MK has a very immerse and satisfying storyline. Especially for a fighting game! It felt like I was playing the movie! It was FANTASTIC! Because the storyline is a reboot/re-imagining of the original 3 Mortal Kombat games, it is easy for new players to follow and keeps the hardcore/old-school players (who know the storyline) guessing throughout the whole game.

Most of the characters live up to their old reputations. The controls are extremely similar to the old games (for most characters). Cryax remains unchanged for the most part. Which makes me happy, because Cyrax is the shit! And he has always been my favorite! "No biased game reviews here! ;)". Some characters have been changed for the better. Smoke is an ABSOLUTE MONSTER in this game! Despite his very gay main costume... The good news is, if you don't like the way any of the characters look, you can earn alternate costumes in the Krypt.

Fatalities can be performed even if you haven't unlocked them. They will just remain undiscovered in your "moves list". If you perform them at any point in the game, then they become visible. You can unlock fatalities in the Krypt as well. Or you can just look the fatalities up online... Saves you some coins! Tag team is pretty cool as well! However, I have never been a fan of tag teaming. So its not really my cup of tea.

Now, the real question is "Should I get it for PS3 or Xbox?" It basically comes down to, "Do I want to play as Kratos, or do I want to have a better online experience?" Xbox has always had better online play. If you have lots of friends who have an Xbox, and you want to kick their ass; then Xbox is the way to go! Vice-versa, if most of ur friends are on PS3 then by all means get Kratos and whoop ass on your playstation buddies. If you just want Kratos, then let me be the first to tell you "Don't hold your breath." I don't like him at all, he is very slow. However he hits like a truck! So if you get very good at his moves then you will be victorious. Personally, I don't like slow characters... "Again, no bias here! :p" I've always felt that the Xbox offers an all around better online experience. So if you like to do multiplayer matches then get the Xbox version. (Latency usually isn't as horrible on the Xbox. Mainly because you have to pay $60 bucks a year to play on it) Keep in mind that the Xbox's controllers are horrible for fighting games! So if you want to save yourself lots of frustration, buy a controller that is similar to the PS3's. The PS3's controller is FAR superior for Mortal Kombat.

I'm done trying to convince you. I shouldn't have to. Go look-up youtube videos and you'll be convinced. Babalities are very hilarious in this game! You will be amused for many hours to come! Enjoy, and happy fatalisizing!

10 things Mileena shouldn't do with her mouth...

2011-04-18T01:10:00.000-04:00

# 10 - Be a dental hygienist...

# 9 - Live in London... (not helping the stereo-type)

# 8 - Eat food in public... (have you ever watched a burn victim eat food? it'll make you wanna vomit... same type of effect)

# 7 - Work as a pickle slicer at the pickle factory...

# 6 - Push Play-doh out of her teeth... (Yay! Play-doh spaghetti!)

# 5 - Be in an Orbit commercial...

# 4 - Date Baraka.... (ugly kids!)

# 3 - Smile... This is the reason why Muslim women have to weir veils...

# 2 -Work in the sewers as a poo filter... (eats corn for free!)

And the number one thing that Mileena should never do with her mouth is...

# 1 - Give head...

Save the boobies!

2011-04-17T11:07:00.000-04:00

Big or small lets save em' all! Lets face it. Video games nowadays are pretty violent, and in a beautiful way! Gifted, big breasted women are surrounding the gaming community! If you don't believe me, then go purchase Mortal Kombat this Tuesday at Best Buy or Lamestop. More and more people are trying to stop violent video games from being purchased by minors. Which isn't all a bad idea considering how parents will find any excuse in the world for easy censorship. "I'm too lazy to tell my kid why he can't play this game, so I'll just make society do it for me!" However, its starting to become so extreme that places are banning boob games from being sold to anyone at all! Australia is a perfect example.

Australia has officially banned the new Mortal Kombat game from being purchased anywhere inside the country! As a fellow gamer, this concerns me. It makes me wonder how long it will really be until the U.S. starts seeing something similar... Or what if somebody decides they need to ban a video game if a females breast size surpasses a D-cup? O.o

I for one will not stand for this! I encourage everyone to give congress a big middle finger when it comes to banning violent/big boobed video games! Please visit this URL if you would like to save the boobies! Save those beautiful boobies!

What should my girlfriend name her chinchilla?

2011-04-13T20:56:00.000-04:00

My girlfriend Samantha is a bleeding hearts animal freak. I love her to death, and we aren't very creative when it comes to naming things. She just adopted a new chinchilla and we are struggling to name him. Here are the options thus far:

Remy
Yoshi
Scrat

I wanted to name him Kratos personally... But she wouldn't let me! (happy girlfriend, happy life!) If you would like to participate, I have a poll going on the Geek-Fu Facebook page. You can find it here, Poll: What should Sam name her chinchilla? Or you could just comment on your vote, or if you have any better name ideas.

Mass Void Rays!

2011-04-12T01:21:00.000-04:00

Enemy Protoss: "Ok so heres what we're gonna' do. I'm gonna just build void rays, you guys do everything else. If I hit 200 supply cap, we win! Sound good?"

My Team: "Devin go scout."

Devin: "I don't want 2 dammit! You do it this time!"

Kris: "Ok Devin, be sure you build observers this time. So your base doesn't get nuked 4 times in a row..."

5 minutes into the game...

Devin: "Hey guys, I got a 6 gate! FUCK YOU ALL!"

10 more minutes later...

Enemy Team: "Alright lets take down Red (Devin)"

Enemy Protoss: "I got about 20 void rays is that enough?"

Enemy Team: "Don't worry about it, we already got his base."

My Team: "Devin, your base just got fucked..."

Devin: "How? My mini map didn't even show.... OH BALLS YEA IT DID!"

Enemy Protoss: "LEEEEERROOOOOOOOOOOY!!!!"

My Team: "Holy shit! Devin send your 1029832719 units from your 6 gate in!"

Devin: "I can't..."

My Team: "Why?!"

Devin: "Cause they got nuked..."

Why did I even buy this game?....

If Japan were in toy form...

2011-04-11T12:29:00.001-04:00

I'm pretty sure this would sum up whats happened to them over the past month... Damn you Godzilla! We'll get you ya' bastard!

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