Just A Thought

Snow in PA

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 01:13:00 +0000

I took the afternoon off and went to a local park with my Daughter and my Dad. With glue guns in hand, we attended a session to make natural ornaments from items found in the forest. No surprise...my daughter's ornaments were the most creative.

Getting Out The Clipboard

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 21:09:00 +0000

On Wednesday, I was back in the dojo teaching my regularly scheduled classes. The first night we worked on basics and bo techniques. The second night....

I got out the clipboard.

We have a group of 1st kyu brown belts in the dojo training for black belt. They are a good group who have been training together since white belt. I also need to mention...they are family members. The father and son of the group walked into class...saw the clipboard...and just knew. I handed a clipboard to the other class instructor and then sat down in front of the class. Since I was out of the dojo for for few weeks, I wanted to get a handle on the students training. I wanted to determine, as a class instructor, what the focus should be over the next few weeks. The class did all the weapon and open hand kata up to the Shodan requirements.

The students are occasional readers of this blog and I want them to know..."You did a good job!"

Observations and Key Points:

1. After the students demonstrated the required material, the other class instructor and I compared our notes. They were identical. Very cool. We teach separate classes and have different teaching styles but we are consistent. This is good for the students because there is very little "well....X does it this way and Y does it that way...how is it supposed to be?"

2. Make the most of your time in the dojo. You are what you train. If you walk through material, your material will reflect it.

3. Be concerned about your own training. This can be tough for anyone that trains with family or friends. I am not saying that you should not help each other but make sure you stay focused on what you need to do to improve. Have confidence in your friends and family members and expect them to focus on their training too.

4. It is the little things. Small improvements can make big changes in the appearance of your kata.

5. Receive the information. Really listen to what your instructors are saying and how it applies to your material.

I am looking forward to the next few months in the dojo. Brown belt is an exciting time for students and for the class instructors. To the brown belt students in this dojo...remember to enjoy this time in your training journey.

Tai Chi Update

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 11:40:00 +0000

My husband picked up the phone and handed it to me. My Tai Chi instructor was on the line. He told me he did not think I would be there but he wanted me to know class was cancelled for the week. My instructor knew I worked for a company specializing in Christmas tree stands, tree drills, balers and tree lot supplies. He did not seem surprised by my absence.

I told him that I was not in class but I was not "gone". I have been part of the small class for a year. Many people have tried an intro class but so few stay.

He replied simply....I know.

I hung up the phone with a sense of relief. Returning to class next week will be no problem...like business as usual. I must admit the thought of returning to class was a little daunting. Did they think I quit? I kept wanting to call but did not get a chance...then I felt bad about not calling.

As a class instructor, I know what it is like to wonder where students have gone and if they will return. This brief phone call eliminated any hesitation about my return.

I will be back in Tai Chi class next week.

When There Is No Time To Practice

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:27:00 +0000

What happens when there is simply no time to practice karate?

Over the last five weeks my life has been work, work and more work. My non-work time is spent with my family. I can only list a few trips to the gym and a handful of nights in the dojo.

The company I work for does 90% of their business in the month of November. All the other months are spent preparing for this time of year. I know the change in work hours is only temporary. Yet each year I want to try to do it all....work, family, martial arts and the gym. This year I realized that trying to maintain my regular schedule would be impossible. I decided it was OK to be in the dojo less and go to the gym less. I knew my schedule was temporary. There was simply no time to practice.

Last night I was back in the dojo. To say it was good to be back on the floor training is an understatement. We worked on open hand kata, bo and kama. Over the next week, I need to catch up on housework and a few weeks of mail piling up on my desk. My regular schedule should return just in time for the holiday season.

How have you handled times when there is no time to practice?

This year I accepted it...

NYC - Statue of Liberty - Photos

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:33:00 +0000

Spiral staircase inside the Statue of Liberty

Great day in NYC! The weather was 58 degrees which is a big difference from last year.

Regular posting to resume in a few weeks. Next week will be my busiest week at work all year. Thanks again to all those who read and comment on my blog.

Long Time - No Post

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:16:00 +0000

Wow....it has been a while since I posted. First, I had a computer problem which turned out to be a burned out CPU fan. The other reason for my lack of posting is the long hours I am spending at work. I work for a company that manufactures Christmas Tree lot items. Ninety percent of our sales for the year happen in the month of November.

So what has been going on....

Work...

My daughter and I went to see a Miley Cyrus concert in Philadelphia.

My daughter finished her soccer season. It was a miserable season. More on this topic later.

....and more work. Even though I am exhausted, I am very glad I have a job.

Next week, we are going to NYC for the day. We are going to visit the Statue of Liberty. Even though we booked our trip months ago....we only have tickets for the pedestal museum. I wonder how far in advance we need to book in order to go inside the statue?

Karate practice has been going very well. We are working on kata, bunkai and sparring in the dojo. Sparring is the only activity that makes me worry about my knee. I find this weird because it is not how I hurt my knee.

I have not been to Tai Chi class for several weeks. :(

Thank you to all the readers and to those who leave comments on this blog.

Thanks again,
Michele

When Soccer Turns Ugly

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 00:22:00 +0000

Computer Problems

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:56:00 +0000

Having some computer problems.

Be back online soon.

Once A Black Belt...Always A Black Belt?

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:34:00 +0000

I have been thinking a lot about the subject of being a black belt. Last week in the dojo, my husband had an excellent discussion with a 1st kyu student about the process of being a black belt. Yes, there is a test, a list of requirements and long hours needed in the dojo. But, there is something more. It is the hard to describe, intangible quality that he referred to as "becoming" a black belt. It is something you know...when you see it.

I think of students who passed through our dojo and earned the rank of black belt. Some students continue to train, learn and teach. They have become my training partners and together we continue to learn and explore.

Other students quit a few weeks or perhaps months after receiving their belt. I imagine their belt hanging on a display like a prized trophy. It was something they wanted to acquire not become.

I believe there is another group. The students trained, earned their black belt but for some reason (family, work, school, injury) can no longer actively train. Even though they do not walk through the dojo door on a weekly basis, I still consider them part of the dojo. They "became" a black belt. The lessons learned in karate class became part of who they are and shaped the person they became. These students could step on the floor at any time and be a black belt. Sure...they may need to re-learn the patterns or the drills but the essence of their training and study is still part of them.

What do you think....once a black belt...always a black belt? If the training stops... should the rank stop with it? Or does it depend on the person and if they actually became a black belt rather than acquire one?

A New Belt - Part II

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:39:00 +0000

I first wrote about my obi over a year ago. In May 2009, I decided to buy a new belt. My new obi has arrived but not after a long history. I never knew how hard it was to order a custom made belt. The belt has embroidery on both sides. The belt must be split open, embroidered and then closed back up. Even my engineer husband's detailed drawing indicating the placement of the name, style, patch and stripe was not enough to guarantee a correct belt.

The first belt arrived incorrect. The patch and stripe on the wrong side. The stripe was angled in the wrong direction and the manufacturer's logo was prominently displayed on the front of the belt below the name. It was simply unwearable.

At first I wondered if the new belt was not meant to be. I called the manufacturer and they immediately told me they would correct the belt. I sent back the belt marked up with corrections. After four months, three emails, two phone conversations and a photo sample, the belt was ready to ship.

I received my belt in the mail today. It is correct!

I only have one question. How long will it take to get used to?

The T Word

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:59:00 +0000

During the course of my karate training, the T word is not usually discussed. It was something that happened or something that you were told. I have mixed feelings about the T word. You see, I remember anxiously waiting for the word as a kyu rank. The dates were posted on the dojo calender so everyone was aware of the possibility but it was not a topic of conversation. As a young kyu rank, I may have hoped but I never expected.

I earned a black belt and the T word took on a different meaning. As a black belt student, the T word is my reminder of how much there is to learn in comparison to what little I actually know.

I became an instructor and the T word changed completely. The focus of class and training time shifts to preparing others. In our dojo, the head instructor makes the final decision. As a class instructor, my role is to recommend.

There have been brief times in our dojo that I held the responsibility for the T word. My husband's injuries and surgeries sometimes prevented him from being in the dojo. I have witnessed the range of student reactions from happy and proud to disappointed and angry.

I am sure you know the word I am referring to....TESTING.

Even now...I must admit...I am slightly uncomfortable writing about it.

It is meant to be between the instructor and the student.

Remember to Thank Your Training Partners

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:08:00 +0000

I had the good fortune to workout with a long time training partner this weekend. We "grew up" together in the martial arts. He is my earliest training partner and I do not get to see him often. We teach at different dojo and both have full personal schedules. It has been at least six months since we saw each other. In a matter of minutes, we are back in sync...as if no time has passed.

It was really good to see him. I am sure he has no idea but our brief conversation helped me feel better about something that was bothering me. The conversation made me pause, take a deep breath and press on.

Being a training partner can be a tough job. We are thrown, punched, kicked and twisted into joint locks. We offer support, encouragement and perspective. We are bunkai partners, sparring partners and offer kata critiques. We push each other to be our very best.

I have newer training partners also. There is a small group of black belts who workout together outside the class structure. We gather to train, explore and encourage. The group started meeting this summer. The setting is relaxed and each of us has something to contribute to the group. They are a good group and I appreciate their friendship.

I want to thank all my training partners...past, present and future. I think they know that I appreciate their help but I want to make sure I remember to tell them.

5:00 AM is Too Early

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 10:34:00 +0000

I am stuck in a gym rut. I have not made the time to go the the gym. I usually attend the Tuesday night Tai Chi class but that's all. A few months ago, I was going to the gym three times a week. My evenings and weekends are busy with my daughter's school activities and homework.

I know....that is no excuse...make time to go the gym. My brother has been asking me to meet him at the gym 5:00 am.

The Plan

Set alarm for 4:45 am.
Get up and go to the gym for 5:00 am.
Work out until 6:00 am.
Home by 6:20 am.
Get ready for work.

The Reality

Alarm goes off at 4:45 am.
Turn alarm off at 4:46 am.
Reset alarm for 6:15 am.

I did not make it to the gym for 5:00. In order for my plan to work, I need to get to sleep much earlier.

I will have to figure something else out.

5:00 am is way too early. :(

Braver Than I Am

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 02:25:00 +0000

As a child, I may have been described as painfully shy. I was quiet and did not like to be the center of attention. I would no longer consider myself shy but I am a long way from being an extrovert.

....and then there is my daughter. She is a classic extrovert. She engages people in conversation and loves to be the center of attention.

Ocean City, 2009

We approached the ramp to the boardwalk and heard the music. My daughter looked at me and asked if we could find out what is going on. Ocean City celebrated the end of Summer weekend with a block party. About a hundred people circled a small stage where a DJ was leading karaoke. My daughter looked at me in earnest and asked if she could sign up. She has never sang karaoke before so I did not know what to expect. However, she knew exactly what song she wanted to sing.

We waited for her name to be called. We heard some Elvis, Frank Sinatra and Michael Jackson songs. Most of the people singing were adults or teenagers. They called her name and she stepped up to the microphone. The DJ kept calling her name and did not realize a ten year old girl was standing there ready to sing. The DJ finally saw her and told the audience she was singing a crowd favorite. She chose the 80's song "Don't Stop Believin" by Journey.

She sang her heart out. When the song ended she put the microphone back on the stand and started walking away. The crowd loved her and gave her a huge applause. The DJ called her name and told her that she "Rocked the House". She exited the stage and at least twenty people gave her a high-5.

She is braver than I am.

A Mailbox Surprise

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 15:31:00 +0000

Work is stressful. We have finished Halloween and Christmas has just begun. It is our busiest time of the year.

Each day I to drive to the mailbox to pick up our daily mail. I work in a corporate center and their is a mail hub at one end of the complex. Our mailbox is not a very big slot. When packages are too large to fit in the slot, we will find a key to an auxiliary mailbox.

Yesterday, there was a key in the mailbox. I opened the auxiliary mailbox and looked inside. It was the strangest thing. It was not an envelope, a package or a priority mailbox. The item was brown and irregularly shaped. It looked like burlap. The item was address to me.

I peered inside the mailbox for a while.

I poked the item.

I pulled the item out of the mailbox.

One side was brown....and the other was.....

It was a coconut...in the mailbox.

Check out their site http://www.coconutgreetings.com/

Mothers and Daughters – How Long? – Not Long

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 15:30:00 +0000

My daughter is ten. We had The Talk and she has read The Book.

Last night, the local hospital offered a community program for mothers and daughters. Even though we had The Talk, I thought it would be a good idea for her to hear it again from a doctor. The program was held in a hotel banquet room and the topic was “All Grown Up”. An OB/GYN spoke to the girls aged 9-12 about the changes they could expect over the next few years. The Doctor did a great job explaining, describing and answering questions.

There was a group of five girls from my daughter’s class. They sat in the front row and the speaker called them the giggling girls. The moms sat behind the girls in the second row. I know my daughter very well and knew that her hand would be the first one raised in the question and answer session. It was and she offered more of a commentary than a question. My daughter is growing up.

On the way home from the session it struck me…How long?

How long will it be before she walks ten feet in front of me at the mall?

How long before it is not “cool” to spend time with her family?

How long before her friends become the most important part of her world?

How long before she thinks her parents are “clueless”?

When will the dolls, stuffed animals and Littlest Pet Shop be replaced by cell phones, MySpace and fashion magazines?

I commiserated with my brother who has two adult children. He said that it is…Not Long…and wished me good luck. He told me not to worry because children eventually drift back. In his case, it occurred when his children were out of high school.

I am feeling a little sad….

Not Long

Anti-Bullying Seminar - A Review - Part II - One Minute Miracle

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:00:00 +0000

Continued from Part I

One of the concepts presented in the Anti-Bullying Seminar was the "One Minute Miracle". I could not find any references or links in order to learn more about the concept. So...if any teachers or health professions stumble upon this post...I would love to hear more about it.

The premise is that people have tendencies and are either more physical or more cognitive. Bullies tend to be more physical and respond better to physical interaction. Dr. Carter made it clear....it DOES NOT mean people should hit children as a response to bullying. One example of a physical response to a behavior is to remove the individual from the situation. He told stories about how he would handle his own kids fighting. He would have them run around the house a few times. This was not a punishment rather a method to release the physical energy. A cognitive response would be talking to a child about a negative behavior and explaining why something should not be done.

As I understood it from the seminar, the "One Minute Miracle" is taking one minute a day and connecting with someone through the use of words and touch. Once the bullies are identified, my daughter's school intends to use this technique. Teachers and staff have volunteered to mentor the bullies and will attempt to create a connection with the student using the "One Minute Miracle". The teachers may shake the students hand, pat them on the shoulder or just say hello. The belief is that once the connection is made the student will be less likely to bully. The teachers/staff become mentors and the student will model good behavior. Another potential benefit is the bully will realize a teacher is watching and have less opportunity to bully.

What do you think?

The post is my understanding after attending an Anti-Bullying seminar at my daughter's school. I am not dispensing advice nor am I a heath professional. I would welcome more information or recommendations on this subject.

Anti-Bullying Seminar - A Review - Part I

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 11:15:00 +0000

On Monday night there was a lecture on Anti-Bullying at my daughter's school. HighMark High Five gives grants to schools for an Anti-Bullying assembly. The premise is that children who are bullied are more likely to miss school either because they are afraid or they are sick. Dr. Jay Carter is the author of the bestselling book Nasty People. He co-authored the book Taking the Bully by the Horns with Kathy Noll.

I was eager to attend the parents session. I wanted ask what the appropriate use of self-defense is in a bullying situation. Several people cautioned me to be careful about my questions at the seminar so I did not give the wrong impression. My brother told me what he would do. He suggested I approach the parents of the bullies after the seminar.

I pulled into the school parking lot.

There were no cars in the lot. I walked into an auditorium full of empty chairs. The session began in five minutes and there were only three people in the audience. A woman in the second row looked at me and shrugged her shoulders. I said "I am shocked". The principal heard me and nodded. Eventually a group of about thirty people sat down to listen to the talk. Dr. Carter explained the dynamics of the Bully, signs of bullying, statistics of bullying and intervention. The talk focused on the psychology of the bully.

Some highlights:

People have tendencies. We are either more physical or more cognitive.

Executive function is a set of cognitive abilities that control and regulate abilities and behavior. They include the ability to initiate and stop actions, to monitor and change behavior as needed, and to plan future behavior when faced with novel tasks and situations. Executive functions allow us to anticipate outcomes and adapt to changing situations. The ability to form concepts and think abstractly are often considered components of executive function. Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/Del-Fi/Executive-function.html#ixzz0SUXHQ8SL

Executive function is developed in adolescence.

Bullies usually have physical tendencies and a lack of executive function.

Martial arts are excellent because it provides physical activity and a code of ethics.

It was clearly apparent, from the audience questions, that the parents in the room were NOT the parents of the bullies. The main message of the program was that bullies need to be identified early, nurtured and mentored to make different choices.

Not what I expected.

But....interesting.

More thoughts on the seminar to follow.....

Saturday at the Shore

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:11:00 +0000

Sunrise over the PA Turnpike

Cloudy day at Ocean City

Mom and Dad

Vanilla

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:50:00 +0000

I am going to share with you one of the low points in my karate training. It was during my last Dan rank testing in 2006. I was given five weeks notice to prepare for testing. To say that I did not feel ready was an understatement. It was necessary to split into two groups because there were so many testing candidates. My group was ushered to the first floor to test in front of the Federation President and several members of the Renshi-Kai.

Everyone did a great job and passed the test. The test lasted a few hours and included kata, bunkai and two-person weapon forms. At the conclusion of the test, the testing board congratulated all the candidates and shook our hands. One of the black belts, who I have known for years and consider a friend, pulled me aside and said, "A little vanilla, you need to put more of yourself in the kata."

At first I was confused. Aren't we all supposed to look the same? Isn't that the point of traditional karate...to keep things exactly the same from teacher to student? I was told that I demonstrated the kata technically correct with power and focus. What was I missing? What did I need to do in order to improve? How can I be the same yet look different? How do I take my kata training to the next level?

I thought about the black belt's comment often. I tried to resist the concept at first. But over time, I realized that I needed to make karate more personal. My goal was to perform the techniques within the technical parameters but look like me while doing it. Let me tell you...it is not easy. There is a fine line between making kata "your own" and changing the kata.

Flash foward to 2009....

On a Monday nights, a small group of black belt students gather in the dojo to work on our own material. It is not a class and there is no structured curriculum. We work on kata, drills, bunkai, techniques or self-defense. There is no official start time or defined end time. As a group we discuss concepts and work through our questions.

On one particular night, we worked on the kata Chinto. This is my husband's favorite kata. He uses this kata as his highlight kata during testing and in competition. He moves through the kata with speed and finesse. He asked the group to run through the kata. He spotted a slight...and I mean slight and barely noticeable...variation from the way he performs a technique in the kata. The group examined the technique for a few minutes and discovered the source of the difference. It was in the manner in which we executed a particular inside forearm block.

A block? An inside forearm block was causing the difference?

We each in turn explained our bunkai. The move follows a left foot forward seisan/left downward block. The next sequence is to look over the right shoulder, kosa behind with the right foot (180 degree turn) with a left upward block/right inside block.

My husband was using the block as a post and grab to the outside. He was slipping past the opponent in the kosa stance.

I was using my left hand as the block as my right hand was executing an arm break.

A different black belt was using the left hand as the blocking hand and the right hand served double duty as a parry followed by a strike to the head.

We stood in a circle for a moment. I looked around at all the faces in our group. We were all deep in thought and nodding.

We were technically the same but different.

Each of us put ourselves in the kata.

Definitely not Vanilla.

Tai Chi in Daily Life

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:31:00 +0000

An excerpt from "The Dao of Taijiquan, Way to Rejuvenation" by Jou, Tsung Hwa.

The ability to attack as one withdraws is known in Daoism as "the yang among the yin".

The teachings of taijiquan can also be incorporated into your daily life. If a person criticizes you or makes an unfair of disparaging remark, you can react in several ways. If you meet resistance with resistance and attack by returning the criticism, conflict naturally develops. You become upset, and nothing is settled. Alternatively, if you retreat from the person's statement, you become fearful and assume the statement must be accepted; you again become upset, frustrated and hurt. However, Daoist philosophy provides an alternative to either total attack or total retreat. The philosophy of "the yang among the yin" teaches you how to become acutely aware of what is said. Consider its meaning, and act accordingly. You will dismiss the statement if it is false and learn from it if it is true. Having this understanding, you realized you are in control of yourself and your own reactions.

What Was I Thinking?

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 01:56:00 +0000

Silly me....I actually thought that I would have more time once my daughter went back to school.

I was wrong.

There has been something going on every night since school started. Not to mention the change in my morning routine and the problems with the school bus. My daughter was scheduled to take public school transportation to school each day. The first week of school, the bus arrived twenty minutes late each morning. Being late for school was not acceptable.

I made several phones calls to the transportation office. In the end, we were offered an alternative bus stop two miles down the road on the edge of a busy highway. The transportation director told me that it was our stop that was causing the delay. She made it clear that it was not our fault and it was the district's responsibility to get the kids to school on time. Apparently, the bus was late because it had to wait to make the left turn on to the highway. It is true...the left turn is difficult especially during the A.M. commute.

I decided to drive my daughter to school every day. I figured if I had to drive two miles I might as well drive the whole ten miles.

I forgot how much homework my daughter gets each night. If she would sit down and do her homework, it would only take about forty-five minutes. Instead it takes two hours because she procrastinates. The school has no workbooks for the students because the PA Budget has not been passed. Most of her work is on handouts or in copybooks. At the parent-teacher meeting, they anticipate receiving workbooks in January.

I am adjusting.

Slowly.

Tai Chi Update - Grasp Birds Tail

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 14:25:00 +0000

During Tai Chi class last week, the instructor briefly touched on the application to Grasp the Birds Tail. When I arrived home, I entered the door and said, "Hello. Would you mind punching me?" My husband was nice enough to work with me on the technique I learned in class. I worked on this technique throughout the week.

I wanted to see the application again so I browsed You Tube for Tai Chi applications. I found the following video and thought I would share.

On The Floor

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 10:25:00 +0000

During martial arts discussions, the conversation often turns to the "Why?" questions. Why did you start training and why do you continue? I wrote about this question in previous posts which can be found here and here.

I believe the "Why?" evolves over time. In a recent conversation, I asked the question..."Does it matter why?". If you look at the people in your own dojo, the reason they started training varies. They started on the path for all sorts of reasons such as self-defense, fitness or socialization. Some may have grown up in the 70' s and had the Bruce Lee poster on their bedroom wall. Parents take classes with their kids because it is something they can do together. People may start taking classes with friends and eventually become the last one remaining from the original group.

My reason for starting karate had nothing to do with self-defense or the desire to become a martial artist. I was a newlywed who was home alone several nights a week. I decided to join too. Prior to this, I had absolutely no interest in karate. It never crossed my mind.

Does it matter why I started? Are some reasons better than others? Perhaps the important point is that I continued. My husband will tell you he never thought I would last. I began training with no previous knowledge, expectations or preconceptions. Karate quickly became something I loved to practice. For me, that pretty much sums it up. I enjoy training, practice, teaching and learning.

When I am On the Floor....I am In the Moment. My thoughts and concerns are about the task at hand whether it be teaching, learning or training. It is the part of my day that belongs only to me.

One of The Hardest Things I Have Ever Done

mmra2007@gmail.com (Michele) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 03:07:00 +0000

On more than one occasion I was asked..."What is the hardest thing you ever did?". I had to answer that question during a job interview. My response has nothing to do with martial arts, training or the dojo. It was a life altering moment and happened in a second.

January 2006

I walked out of the house with my daughter and waved to my husband. We got in the car and drove to my parents house for a visit. My husband was working outside in the yard. He was dragging brush and dead tree limbs to the burn pile at the back end of the property.

At my parents house, the phone rang. My mother picked up the phone and the caller ID indicated the call was coming from the local hospital. The phone was for me. It was my husband calling from the ER. He told me that he was accidentally burned and needed to be transferred to a burn unit. I went over to the ER immediately.

My husband was lying on the bed with his leg covered by a wet cloth. His skin was black from the knee to the ankle except for a small band that was protected by his neoprene knee brace. When I walked in my husband told me that he might lose his leg. It was the one time in my life I actually felt like I was going to pass out. The doctor soon arrived and discussed the burn and treatment options. My husband's right leg had third degree burns completely around the leg. He needed to be transferred to a burn unit and they needed to do surgery right away.

My husband spent two weeks in a burn isolation unit. He arrived home with skin grafts and the need for months of bed rest. In order for this burn to heal properly, he could not put any weight on his leg. The elaborate dressings on the burn had to be changed once per day. His graft did not take completely and they had to do another surgery which meant ten more days in the hospital.

So...how is this story about my husband's third degree burns about one of the hardest things I ever did?

The six months following my husband's burn is a blur. I truly do not know how I made it through. My Mom said it was through the Grace of God. My family, friends and the martial arts community offered their support.

The care of my young daughter who was in Kindergarten.
I was employed by an Architect and worked thirty hours per week.
I was responsible for a dojo.
I taught several karate classes per week.
I had to care for a bedridden spouse. He was not allowed to walk, drive or work for months. He could not do anything for himself. The hospital was an hour drive from home.
Financial stress.

Despite the blur, I can still remember with detail my husband's complex bandage change. The process took an hour on a good night. The removal of the bandages had to be done carefully so no damage was done to the skin graft. The wound needed to be washed and dried. Special antiseptic cream was applied to the graft. Layers of Xeroform had to be carefully positioned on the skin. The Xeroform was a sticky, petroleum based pad. The next layer was Kerlix a soft gauze bandage. This layer was followed by Coban. The finishing touch was an Ace bandage wrapped from the ankle up to the knee. It all had to be perfect. If it was wrong...the entire bandage needed to be removed and started again from scratch.

I was exhausted mentally and physically. I witnessed the slow healing process and saw how difficult it was for my husband. He progressed from being bedridden to a wheelchair then crutches and eventually walking. My daughter struggled because my time was so divided and her Daddy was unavailable.

As hard as this time was for all of us, I still consider us lucky. We were lucky that my husband's surgery was a success. There were other patients in the burn unit that were worse off than my husband. My heart breaks thinking of the patients and their family members. The doctors, nurses and staff on the burn floor were completely amazing.