KADUGUSUMA

The La(o)st Dance

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Thu, 14 May 2026 15:20:36 +0000

Lost in each other's eyes,

Rhythm of our synced hearts,

Mingling hot air,

Clasped hands,

Interlaced fingers,

Feather-light steps...

Dancing with you,

It used to be so easy,

As easy as breathing...

A pause, a silence.

A faltered step.

And the rhythm is forever lost.

But we want to dance.

Gasping for air,

Unmet gaze,

Loosened grip,

Lead-like legs

And we dance,

But for different songs.

We still dance.

Tightening the hold a bit,

Trying to match the steps.

But A slight misstep,

And we would collide,

We could collapse.

So, we still dance

But the careful one,

As if there is only one melody...

- Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Seeking The Sun...

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Wed, 25 Feb 2026 14:34:00 +0000

Spreading the fragrance in the air,

Storing the sweet nectar within,

Beckoning the beautiful butterflies,

Swayed the colourful cluster of joy.

All it wished for was the warmth.

The warmth that-

Melted away the harshest ice,

Seeped through the branches

Soaked the nooks and corners.

How could it not?

Turning away from the sun,

Could the flower ever bloom?

And, wishes are just wishful.

How could it defy the destiny?

Even if all it got is the scalding heat.

The heat that-

Scorched its pillowy soft petals,

Drained away the nourishment,

Wilted away the life spirit.

How could it turn away,

When all it knew was to seek the sun?

- Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Craving the unknown

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Wed, 28 Jan 2026 12:58:00 +0000

Only if I could tell you,

How long I've been craving for you,

Even before I could name it,

Even before I realised it,

I've been craving.

I've craved for so long that,

I don't know a time I didn't;

I don't know how not to...

I've craved you,

Even before I knew your name;

Even before I knew your existence!

I've always craved you...

I'm no mason,

But, I've been building your shrine,

Brick by brick with mortar of my flesh,

Where I could stand bare,

And worship you with truest self

And sing the hymns of yearning

And selfishly, pathetically beg,

Even for just a part of you.

Only if I could dare to tell you...

I'm no artist,

But,Even with stolen glances alone,

I can blindly retrace those

sparkling beads of your eyes,

that are like twin ponds,

that gravitate me to the endless depth,

In which I would willingly drown myself,

Even knowing there is no return...

Only if I dared to tell you...

I would create new words

For they would fall short to fill the pages;

I would create new colours

To fill the canvas of your beauty;

I would create new notes,

To mimic the melody of your laugh;

Only if I could...

But, I would dare not.

I would rather be a hopeless

Than daring to be brave.

I would rather not say hello at all,

Than part ways with no goodbyes.

I would rather not cross path at all,

Than being a mere passerby.

I would rather crave for lifetime

Than have a mere taste.

I would rather live with sweet fantasy

Than tinting it with bitter reality.

I would rather grieve what could've been

Than lose what once was...

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Another Night

noreply@blogger.com (Panchami K) — Fri, 19 Sep 2025 15:38:00 +0000

All I see is bleakness.

All that is left is

The pitch black darkness,

The soft blanket,

The pillow pressed against my cheek,

The humming of the fan,

And another night

to stare at the emptiness,

to soak the pillow with tears...

All I do is trying...

Trying to be non-chalant,

When all I feel is too much, too deep.

Trying to be care free,

When all I care is about everything but me.

Trying to mend,

When there was nothing broken.

Trying to make it right,

When I don't even know what's wrong.

Trying to be strong,

When all I wish is to crawl back to shell.

Trying to hold on,

When all I wish is to be held.

Trying to cling to the remnants,

When there was nothing to begin with.

Trying to try hard

When all I wish is to give up.

And then again,

All I do is try and try some more...

And now, all that left is tiredness

That tears the tender muscles;

That sucks every ounce of my blood;

That seeps deep into the bone;

That fills the body with ache...

I'm so tired...

Tired of trying,

Tired of trying to try,

Tired of trying not to be tired.

And, I do nothing.

Because, I can't do anything.

How could I?

When the very thing that breaks me,

Still doesn't shatter me;

How could I severe a part,

When that one single part is everything;

How could I end a thing,

When I was not the one to start.

Yet, there is no regret.

How could there be?

If the choices were never mine,

If there was no choice to make.

Also, there is no grief.

How could there be?

When nothing was lost.

Everything was just wishful thinking

That collapsed like house of cards;

That slipped away like sand;

That scattered like dust;

That disappeared into thin air.

And, all I see is bleakness,

Another night

With warmth of the blanket,

With softness of pillow

With lullaby of fan...

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

She Held On, He Let Go!

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sat, 16 Aug 2025 08:34:00 +0000

She says there is a beauty in letting go,

He says holding on is much more beautiful!

She lets go of her whole heart,

Her dreams that were whispered to the empty walls of her room,

Her desires becoming something more than a name,

Her stubborn joy for life,

Her innocence,

Her soul

All while loving him!

Without the weight of empty words,

Not needing any assurances,

Unknowingly they sign contracts of the soul!

A silent promise binding them forever!

Holding hands through the rough paths of life,

They walk forward

They cry,

They grieve,

They love!

TOGETHER!

No words

No grand gestures

Just two souls!

He holds on to the versions of herself

Which she LOVED about herself!

He holds on;

To the delicate bond that binds them,

To those dreams that made her eyes shine,

To the desires that drove her life,

To her smile that showered nothing but innocent love,

To NOTHINGS of life that were shared with her!

To her soul that loved him!

Throughout the journey he sees her losing herself

In bits and pieces!

It shatters his heart into pieces,

Breaks his lenses that see the beauty in holding on!

All confused, he tries to find a way to keep everything together…

She picks pieces of his heart all while laying her own down,

All while her hands bled and her soul fled!

At this moment, he learns to let go of her,

So that she can hold on to herself!

She learns how to hold on to the version of him,

That has learnt how to let go!

They’re still together,

Only now the difference is

Now she finds beauty in holding on,

He says letting go is more beautiful!

- Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

Is just loving enough?!

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sat, 28 Jun 2025 17:49:00 +0000

One may love solitude and yet crave for that one beautiful soul in life. As human beings, we constantly keep searching for one or other kind of companionship. One cannot deny the inbuilt human urge to be fit in, to be part of something large or simply just belong.

The moment one is born, they are someone's child, someone's grandchild, someone's sibling, someone's cousin and so on and so forth. In the years to come, many of these merely become social 'ties' and yet some other become the rope that pulls you through your ups and downs of life, the threads that come together and knit the safety nets one can always fall into and the threads that sew and mend one's broken pieces.

In the process of life, these threads get tangled and some remain with knots and many more gets broken and gets blown away in the whirlwind. As we weave these threads into beautiful piece, we may find some new threads that fit better and make the piece even more beautiful.

The threads of these bonds are as beautiful yet delicate. So, it's very important to hold on to them with the perfect pressure. If the grip loosens, it just may slip away even before you realise. If held too tightly, they may just snap away or if the thread is too strong, it will not only suffocate the other end but make your own hands bleed. It's inevitable to let go some of them when they deviate from the image you are creating or when they find even more fitting picture to be part of. Regardless, they all leave their mark behind that one can choose to cherish or not.

It is these bonds, your loved ones that make up for what you lack in their own little ways. They bring the missing colour to complete your painting, the missing melody to your symphony, missing taste to your recipe and missing words in your story. Out of billions of people out in the world, they have chosen you, to show their beautiful side which is the result of their endless efforts.

The love, kindness and forgiveness that we receive from our loved ones aren't easy. One may argue against this by saying love comes more naturally than hate. But, if that's true, why there is more hatred than love in this world? Why there are more acts of crime than the acts of generosity? It's because we are built to survive and not to sacrifice. So, it takes great efforts to be kind, to put someone else before ourselves and when someone is going that extra mile to do so, the least one could do is to appreciate and be grateful rather than brushing it of as 'they are supposed to do that' or simply humanity.

Let's normalize saying 'thank you', 'love you' and 'sorry' to our closest ones to whom it truly matters to hear it from us. Let them know how much you appreciate their efforts when you still can, instead of regretting the missed opportunities to do so. Let's not just love them but make them feel loved by us. Let's make sure to make our beloved ones feel belonged, feel heard, seen and cared for just like how they do it for us. It's never about the extravaganza but the little gestures and words. Just a simple 'how are you?' can make one's day more bearable if not special. So, let them know the difference they make in your life by merely existing in this vast world. Make yourself be the reason for a smile, laugh or even a happy tear.

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Being Human(e)?

noreply@blogger.com (Panchami K) — Wed, 07 May 2025 16:41:00 +0000

'Humanity' is a concept glorified by everyone, understood by few and practiced by even fewer. Does being human make one humane too? Or is it that being humane makes one human?If someone is not humane, does that make them any less human?

Ideally speaking, shouldn't humanity come as naturally as breathing to "human beings"? Aren't they the very traits that makes us human? Is 'humanity' really innate to humankind? If so, why is it so hard to find kind people in the world? why have we reached a point where there is a need to reawaken and remind people to be humane? Is it because, it was never ours to begin with? Is 'humanity' a mere concept that is idealised and developed later on?

We human beings are often referred to as 'intelligent animals'. Over time we have been focusing on the part 'intelligent ' so much that we have overlooked the next part. We shouldn't forget that though intelligent, we are animals nonetheless. Being intelligent doesn't take away our innate instinct, that is 'to survive'. Survival has been and will continue to be the ultimate goal of our existence. Being humane means to fight this very instinct. Being kind and benevolent requires sacrificing things that would have made our survival easier. It requires sheer willpower, determination and control.

But, maybe somewhere amidst trying to build an ideal society and propagate the idea of 'humanity' we have forgotten what it takes to be humane. In our effort to normalize humane behavior, we have overlooked these sacrifices and have taken the benevolent beings for granted. Instead of recognising and appreciating the act of kindness, we have started to just brush them off in the name of mere humanity. As if kindness requires nothing beyond existing — but it truly does.

Being humane is what human should be and not what human is. Now, it's high time that we realize and recognize the difference between this and appreciate the effort it takes one to be humane. It's not the idea of humanity that needs to be glorified but the humans that practice it.

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Between Living and Dying

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Wed, 05 Feb 2025 18:31:00 +0000

It’s in my nature
To hang somewhere between
Living and dying...

Agony doesn’t terrorize my core existence.
Usually, I hold on to moments
That consume the remnants of my being—
Tarnishing the fragments of hope,
Churning my soul for a while.
My mind believes it is its job to do these things for me!

The moment I try to escape the trap inside,
It always drags me down to the locked room in my head—
Which I often assume is sealed,
Full of the same old, relentless chaos!

Grappling in darkness,
Where the brighter 'Me,' is just a whisper.
Shackled by rusted chains of fears and doubts,
Beating myself for reasons I can't define,
Building a universe of hate for myself
I usually let myself bear the weight of unnecessary thoughts alone.

Not reaching for the hands that are ready to lift me,
Guide me to the light,
Lead me to the life

Knowingly ignoring the warmth offered by the world;
I end up putting the shackles on myself—
That's just me fighting the other 'Me.'

Where the brighter 'Me' longs for dawn to break the endless night,
Often surrendering to the 'Me' that seeks to
Fracture the soul without tenderness,
Over and over again.

Lost in the loop of relentless sorrow,
I hang somewhere between
Living and dying,
Hoping to escape this turmoil within,
Yet somehow, loving how it shapes me, the piece that makes me whole.

Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

THE LONGING…

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sat, 30 Nov 2024 12:04:00 +0000

It was so good to be in longing,

To have something to look forward to;

To hope for the D-day;

To be away and get lost in imagination.

It was

As divine as moonlight;

As colourful as rainbows;

As pretty as flowers;

As beautiful as butterflies;

As soothing as green lush…

I would play it in my head over and over,

Each time a different version;

Each time a different circumstance;

But, nonetheless all happy & beautiful…

I would bask in these imaginations,

Making my body vibrate with excitement;

Making my heart flutter with joy;

Making my soul soak in contentment…

The time passes…

The promised day never arrives,

As the day was never special to begin with.

Because it was just another passing day.

As the reality sinks in,

My body shudders with pain,

My soul is crushed to powder & blown away

In the thunderstorm of my emotions

And I’m left with nothing but emptiness.

And, that’s when I realized

It wasn’t the actual happiness,

But the hope for it that lit up the life.

When the longing ends,

There is no other possibility than reality.

For those who long,

There is still hope.

The moment one stops to long,

The life ceases to exist;

It would be an endless bleak…

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Winter Inside!

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sat, 03 Aug 2024 19:21:00 +0000

With a lost gaze, he wanders around,

Trying to steal an ounce of warmth that melts the winter in him!

For him, it seems like the world is being showered with love and laughter

Except for the space wherever he is struck.

For him, the spring has always been a rumor,

And he’s a captive of endless winter,

The winter that’s covered in pale snow,

Making his insides feel too cold and dry;

The illusion of solitude stayed with him briefly

And left him freezing in that empty, cruel space alone!

He thinks that this winter is contagious,

It kidnaps all the people around him if he talks about it!

He believes that it swallows man as a whole,

Creating a whirlpool of emotions,

Pulling them into a noiseless, colorless world

Without a trace of the joyous, warm world that once existed!

Not dragging anyone into this mess is his kind of protection.

He wonders why everyone says emptiness is a dark space,

And ponders if it were true, it might have been peaceful

To hide inside that pitch-black space,

Rather than being exposed in the vast blankness that swaddled him!

This emptiness punctuates the wounds left by life

In the name of moving on and growing up,

The memories that scarred his soul!

In between the scars, he appears here and there,

Trying to reach out to the colors splashed around!

To catch the drops of drizzling happiness that’s being showered around,

To find the root of the joys that make people around him

Smile,

Laugh,

Excited.

Then he imitates all those actions to find the colors that suit him,

Hoping that he’ll find those colors and fill in the blank space,

With a warm, cozy painting that melts the winter snow!

With a lost gaze, he keeps wandering around,

Collecting shades of lives around him,

Adding those colors to the blank space,

Filling in the voids…

- Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

DREAMS…

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sun, 21 Jul 2024 15:11:00 +0000

‘DREAMS’ are plants that grow into trees

That shelter you in the long journey…

‘DREAMS’ are strong birds

That takes you to the heights of the sky…

‘DREAMS’ are the sparks

That put shine into your eyes…

Yet,

The same ‘DREAMS’ could be,

The tree that would uproot your house;

The heights from where you might have death fall;

The sparks that would turn into burning flames;

Some ‘DREAMS’ are to be lived;

Some ‘DREAMS’ are to be strived;

Some ‘DREAMS’ are to be chased;

Some ‘DREAMS’ are to be yearned;

Some ‘DREAMS’ are to be fancied;

Some ‘DREAMS’ are just to be dreamt;

And yet,

Some other ‘DREAMS’ are to be let go

So that, you don’t get trapped in their roots;

So that, you don’t shatter into unmendable pieces;

So that, you don’t burn your soul in it;

So that, you are not sucked off the last ounce of spirit…

Will it not be cowardice to let go of the DREAM?

The DREAM that you have nurtured with

LOVE

PASSION

DETERMINATION

SACRIFICES…

No, you are no coward to let go

Because it needs even more courage to dream anew;

Because letting go is accepting change;

Because it is the willingness to nurture another ‘DREAM’ with

LOVE

PASSION

DETERMINATION

SACRIFICES…

So, some dreams are meant to let go

Because I would rather let them remain as ‘DREAMS’ than become ‘nightmares’…

Because as long as ‘DREAMS’ are ‘DREAMS’ they can be nurtured by anyone;

Because dreams are to live in and not be consumed by;

Because dreams are meant to bring joy;

Because no dreams are worth trading with your soul;

As long as you are alive, your spirit is alive,

Countless dreams can be dreamt, fancied, longed and lived…

-PANCHAMI KABBINAHITLU

Familiar

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sat, 29 Jun 2024 18:50:00 +0000

It was nice to meet you,

“You” who was so ‘Me.’

The familiar loneliness that brushed over you

was easier to get along with.

It’s comfortable to see

The same emptiness rooted within you

that’s buried deep inside me;

The futile attempts you made

to fill the void in your heart;

All the pretense you put on to hide

the bleakness spread throughout your soul.

I know, to seek solace in your sufferings is cruel,

But, I think it’s comfortable to see a person

who is as broken as me.

When I say, we are the same kind of people,

I mean, people with the same fears;

people with the same pain;

people with the same scars;

people who are stuck in winter untouched by a moment of warmth;

people abandoned under the scorching sun in a shadowless place;

people who don’t feel like people amidst people;

people who are gulped by an endless dark pit in every break time;

people who need to keep their minds busy,

so the voices inside shut down,

so the screams inside get silenced by the busyness of the moment,

so the mind is exhausted to think of all that can go wrong,

so the mind stops picking non-existent negativity each moment.

It was nice to meet you,

“You” who was so ‘Me.’

Now, I am happy that you are not the ‘You’

I knew a while back.

And now you are the “YOU”

who is full of life, full of love, full of light,

who makes me want to become familiar with the new unfamiliar ‘You’!

-Pallavi Kabbinhithlu

पन्ना

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Mon, 17 Jun 2024 16:52:00 +0000

एक पन्ना था जिसमें मैने मेरा सपनों को लिखा था।

वह सपना अब नहीं हैं।

वह पन्ने में लिखा सपनों को लोगो ने मिठाया।

यह कहकर के वह तो कुछ भी नहीं है।

पर एक और पन्ना था वह मेरे दिल में,

उस पन्नों में मेरी हज़ारों सपनों को लिखा है।

उस पन्नों में दर्द, प्यार और छल भी थे।

पर आज वह पन्ना फट चुका है।

फिर से जोड़ने की कोशिश कर रहीं हूं,

पर जुड़ नहीं रहा;

उस पन्ने को फेंका, फिर एक और पन्ने में,

दर्द, प्यार, छल और फिर मैंने मेरी नाम लिखा।

उस पन्नों में हज़ारों सपनों को बचा कर रखा है।

अब में उस पन्नों की फिकर कर रहीं हूं,

जिसमें मेरा सपना और नाम लिखा है।

एक पन्ना है जिसमें मेरा नाम और सपनों को लिखा है।

-पौर्णमी कब्बिनहित्लु

THE TAGS

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sun, 02 Jun 2024 09:44:00 +0000

A daughter, A son;

A sister, A brother;

A student, A friend;

A niece, A nephew;

An aunt, An uncle;

A wife, A husband;

A mother, A father…

The various hats worn by an individual.

These are the bars of the cage

that holds you in;

These are the rings of the chain

that ties you down;

These are the threads of the net

that restrains your flight…

These are the tags

that describe not what you are,

Rather, what you should be.

These are the tags

that give you dead-weight responsibilities.

These are the tags

that birth all the expectations.

These are the tags

that influence the decisions you make.

These are the tags

that kill the individual in you!

Let’s forget the tags for a while

And let go of all the expectations;

Let’s unlayer the tags

And try to see the individual buried behind;

Let’s forgive the individual

Who is bound to make mistakes

just like you and me.

Let us liberate the spirit

from all the bitterness.

Let the path be shown by free soul…

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Way too much!!

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Fri, 01 Mar 2024 17:30:00 +0000

She feels like her insides are rotten now,

The darkness that surrounds her is getting darker with each passing seconds,

Along with the intensity of numbness in her heart!

She is giving up on the things slowly, unnoticeably!!

She always felt way too much,

Smallest things made her happy,

And slightest change hurt her.

Though happiest things were shared multiple times,

When pain only pierced her in silence;

All of it was being stacked inside her,

And the tears were buried ruthlessly.

All alone, almost everytime!!

May be silence makes it worse.

It happened so many times already that

It became a habit,

More like a Lifestyle!

She was immuned to the small doses of pain,

The kind of doses that increased each time she takes in...

Good thing was that this immunity made the pain feel less painful!!

The desire of being accepted

Drove her to perfectionism;

Which constantly fueled her insecurities!!

In this long exhaustive process confident girl inside her was lost,

Anxiousness took over rationalism,

Breaking her into pieces she couldn't pick and assemble back into shape!!

Each piece of her Heart, her dreams

prickled her, it was excruciating;

She constantly bled inside.

Even after leaving unseen traces of well concealed anguish,

She was glad that no one notices them!!

She hid them so well that

All of the weird mess was clotted and locked inside,

Slowly started to mold in the process of moving forward,

Every time she goes around smiling she can smell the stench

Of her insides which disgusts her!!

She felt all of the things way too much;

That the void inside was also too loud to her!

To silence it she filled that with whatever she got,

She wanted to breathe again,

But the void she felt once is now filled with agony

That rot inside her,

Now, as she feels too much of everything

She is feeling too much of the rotten self also!!

- Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

STRANGER

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sat, 10 Feb 2024 15:29:00 +0000

It hurts a lot when I realize that I’m no longer the ‘I’ whom I knew… The epiphany comes at the most unexpected moments Perhaps at the worst time? The untimely realization leaves me with nothing but wonders.

I ponder how things had been by trying to remember the moments that I forgot with effort. I succeed in helping myself only with tidbits of memory, About which I’m no longer certain… It just feels like a nightmare or a dream… It just feels like a story once I’ve been told…

And I wonder, How things once were so important to me are just ‘NOTHING’ today… For a second, I think the effort to forget had paid off… But, No! It was completely futile, Because had I not put the effort to forget, I would have forgotten the things altogether…

So, now I’m making an effort To just let the things be… To let the time do its job To meet the strangers around as well as within…

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

A Chance to Apologize

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Mon, 05 Feb 2024 15:36:00 +0000

There he stands again with a bouquet of daisies

that he could never give…

He was too late to get a chance to apologize…

Only teardrops were left to decorate that lifeless face;

Does he even deserve to stand there?!

He was blind to all the longings in the other’s eyes;

He was deaf to all the pleadings;

He was dumb when he was supposed to speak up for the other;

He was the one who mercilessly walked away

Leaving the other helpless,

Taking away the sole reason to survive!

His life changed forever at that moment…

The pages of the calendar keep turning,

But the page in the Book of Life never changed;

There is no color left to ink the pages…

The blue that dawned upon never vanished;

The season remained the same

Without the warmth of the sun,

Without the sweet aroma of blossoms,

Without the lullaby of birds,

Without the colorful butterflies…

Fate was so cruel to him that,

Even the magic of time didn’t work on him

Everything is as vivid as if it just happened…

There is no way to undo his doings.

Daily he sends silent prayers

to add the life the other had left to his life

So that, he can suffer a long life

Hoping to make up for a tiny bit of misery

that he had put the other through…

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

One-sided!

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Tue, 30 Jan 2024 10:40:00 +0000

I don’t know how people talk so easily;

Say everything they think,

With the words that feel just right!

I can’t do this thing that everyone else can do;

So I chose poetries, I chose photographs,

And some paragraphs!!

I silently listened to every word you say

And noted down the things you loved,

I excitedly learned about them,

So that we can talk more,

Hoping to spend some more time with you…

I used to smile just hearing your name,

I used to be happy at the thought of your existence,

I used to jump out of joy at your excitement,

I used to not miss any minute expressions you make,

I used to get curious about your curiosities!!

I thought we were close enough

When we gave nicknames to each other,

When we teased each other,

When we trusted each other

When you cried on my shoulder,

When you started to share all your victories first with me,

When we shared our silence quietly away from everyone

Just us!!

At all of those moments

I trusted you, I adored you

Most importantly loved you…

I wanted all of you to myself;

I dropped some hints, here and there

Everywhere;

Everywhere around you,

NOT with words,

But with my poetries and photographs

And some paragraphs!

I thought my eyes showed everything I hid inside me,

I guess you never saw them!

I thought you understand the silence

And the glances,

And the smiles that we have BETWEEN us!!

I guess it was never the case…

I thought we think the same;

But for you, I was a friend and for me, you were my love!

I think I loved you more than myself,

That’s why when you found your love,

I loved that you loved it;

And thought, that’s how it ENDS between us!

I slowly walked away from your life

With time I moved on,

I’m not your friend anymore and you are not my love

Still, you are one of the best memories I share

With the one I love, whom I love only to the extent

I love myself…

Even today, one thing remains the same,

I don’t know how people talk so easily;

Say everything they think,

With the words that feel just right!

Still, I choose poetries, I choose photographs,

And some paragraphs!!

-Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

Heartless Me…

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Tue, 05 Dec 2023 15:46:00 +0000

You said nothing…

Even your eyes were unwilling to speak.

A layer of water was shielding me

From looking into the depth of your eyes.

The uneven breathing,

The trembling lips,

I could see them all…

The tightened grip of your hand

could be felt turning numb.

I had failed you…

You tried to grow roses in the desert;

You tried to fill the empty can with nectar;

You tried to warm my heart

But I dried up the warmth of your heart

And turned it into ice cold;

Yet it is as pure as ever

But sharp like a diamond.

I failed you…

It is not easy to let go

The hands that reached out to me;

It is not easy to turn my back to

Someone who paved my path;

It is not easy to just walk away…

But I have to walk away

To liberate you,

To liberate myself.

As I slowly walk away,

You are standing there like a stone.

I dare not to have a last glance

For the fear of not letting you go,

To tie and pull you along with me

And turn you into a monster.

I wanted to become a better person

And yet I couldn’t stop thinking-

if you were a bit more stubborn.

If you had told me not to go…

I wish you had thrown a tantrum;

I wish you had yelled at me;

I wish you had pushed me away;

I wish you had slapped me in the face,

So that, I could have a reason to hate myself a little less…

So that, I will have a reason to move on…

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

UNFORGETTABLE MELODY…

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 14:47:00 +0000

In the night filled with stars

I could only see the darkness…

You were beside me;

The aroma of your cologne filled the air

The silence of the night broken

Only by our breathing…

As your hands hold mine,

I could feel the warmth…

I could no longer hold in the bottled-up emotions.

I broke and cried like a baby;

You said nothing;

You silently reached out

And held me in your arms…

I don’t know how long I sobbed

Just lying my face against your chest…

The rhythm of the heartbeat

Spoke more than words could ever…

All the worries forgotten,

I just continue to stay there

Wishing the moment to never end…

Till today the sound resonates in my ears

As if the melody of a sweet song…

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Let It Be...

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sun, 05 Nov 2023 07:46:00 +0000

Don't let it go;

The dark crumpled memories,

That you hid in the deepest burrow of your mind.

Don't let it fade;

The scar of deep stabs

that never healed.

Don't let it stop;

The deafening echoes

that never left the chambers of your soul.

Don't let it sink;

The deadweight sack of thoughts

into the sea of debris.

Let the mind remind...

Let the wound bleed...

Let the pain be felt...

Let the soul fight...

So that,

One day, when everything is over,

Your victory doesn't become a trivia

But a real triumph.

So that,

You have the reason to celebrate...

-Panchami Kabbinahitlu

Trapped

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Thu, 21 Sep 2023 16:30:00 +0000

They are all trapped

inside themselves,

where

there are no doors to escape,

there are no windows for light

there are no paths that are straight!

They wander around the wall

of their insides;

feeling like a Pandora Box

Full of sadness, badluck!!

All are hurt and are in pain

And all of them have their own reasoons;

Getting what they don't want

or not getting what they want...

WANTS?!

Are insides made of these 'wants'?

Desires of happiness, success, fame, money?

No space for life??

They are trapped inside themselves

and thrive to survive each day...

Surviving through each day is becoming life,

Finally, some of them realised this,

Soon the found this light of life in the heart;

Walls collapsed,

They are not trapped anymore,

They are outside now

Growing and glowing every second!

Still, other souls are yet to find the hope

that can light the path to life outside...

No one can help, but themselves

for those who are still trapped!!

- Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

Homeless

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 14:30:00 +0000

He waits for her all day,

Just like every day...

Sitting on the seashore,

Letting the breeze kiss him,

Counting every second that passes,

Looking at the sun, crawling down to the west,

He wishes if time could pass a little faster,

So that he can see her!

Waiting quietly is one hell of a thing!

Hours pass;

Stars shine above the sky,

The crescent moon moves faster than usual,

She never appears!

She is the only comfort left in his life;

She is the HOME he always wanted,

The home that he never had before!

She is the flower in his deserted heart,

The warmth that melts his frozen tears,

She is his reason to LIVE ON...

But this evening she doesn't come?!

He keeps on waiting,

With love, care, and secrets in his heart,

Which he wants to share with ONLY her,

She simply doesn't show up!

He keeps waiting,

Alone at the seashore,

Feeling cold,

Wandering through darkness,

Feeling lonely!

The sun rises, light spreads all around,

Except for him!

Tears roll down his cheeks,

He stands up and walks back

To his room, after realizing that

Now he is "HOMELESS."

-Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

Routine!

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sat, 08 Jul 2023 18:19:00 +0000

She smiled while peeking

outside the closed window

Of her closed room…

Then she sighed;

Thought to herself,

this should be enough

To show the world

That she is fine by herself.

She took a deep breath

And opened the window,

AND THEN SHE SMILED

Only LAUGHED rolling over!

Everyone saw her HAPPY;

Show was over

As usual, she closed the window;

NOW,

She looks lifeless

Crying her eyes out,

she lay on the bed and went to sleep.

Next day morning,

She smiled again!!

When she opened the window that day,

She danced-hoped-sung with everyone;

EVERYONE saw her HAPPY

Then she closed her window,

And turned off the lights,

Laying down on the bed,

Resting her head on the wet pillow

Neither crying nor sleeping…

Her eyes wandered through the darkness,

Where no one can see her,

And she can’t find anyone!!

-Pallavi Kabbinahithlu

ಬೆಳೆಯುತಿದ್ದೇವೆ ಎಂದರೆ ಅಳಿಯುತ್ತಿರುವುದಲ್ಲವೇ?!

noreply@blogger.com (Pallavi Kabbinahithlu) — Sun, 26 Feb 2023 17:31:00 +0000

ಮಾನವನಿಗೆ ಬದುಕಿನ ಪಾಠ ಹೇಳಿಕೊಡುವುದರಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ಸರಿಸಮಾನರು ಯಾರೂ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಚಳಿಗಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ ಚಿಗುರಿನ ಹುಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಅವಕಾಶ ನೀಡಬೇಕೆಂದು ಹಳೆ ಎಲೆಗಳಲ್ಲಾ ಉದುರುತ್ತವೆ. ಮರ ಬದಲಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದುಕೊಂಡರೂ ಎಲೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲಾ ಬದಲಾಗುತ್ತವೆ; ಎಲೆಗಳು ಹೀರುವ ಬಿಸಿಲು, ಗಾಳಿಯೂ ಬದಲಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಆಗ ನೆರಳೂ ಹೊಸತು, ಅದರ ತಂಪೂ ಹೊಸತು. ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡು, ಮತ್ತೊಂದಿಷ್ಟನ್ನು ಪಡೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಬದಲಾಗುವುದೇ ಬದುಕಲ್ಲವೇನು?

ಬದಲಾವಣೆ ಬಾಳುತಿದ್ದೇವೆ ಎನ್ನುವುದರ ಸಂಕೇತ. ಉಸಿರೆಳೆದಷ್ಟು ಬಾರಿ ಮನುಜ ಬದಲಾಗಿದ್ದಾನೆ ಎನ್ನುವ ವಿಷಯ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸಹಜ ಸತ್ಯವೇ ಆದರೂ ಅಚ್ಚರಿಯುಂಟು ಮಾಡದಿರದು. ಒಂದೊಂದು ಕ್ಷಣ ಕೈ ಜಾರಿದಂತೆ 'ನಾನಿರುವುದೇ ಹೀಗೆ' ಎನ್ನುವುದರಲ್ಲಿನ 'ಹೀಗೆ'ಯ ವ್ಯಾಖ್ಯಾನ ಬದಲಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಇದೇ ಬೆಳವಣಿಗೆ ಅಲ್ವೇ?!

'ಕಲಿಯುವ ಮನಸಿದ್ದರೆ ನಿಮಗೆ ಕಲಿಸುವುದು ಕಲ್ಲಿನ ಗೊಂಬೆ '. ಇದು ಒಂದೆರಡು ವರ್ಷಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ಹಿರಿಯರೊಬ್ಬರು ಹೇಳಿದ ಮಾತು. ಇದು ನನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ಬೀರಿದ ಪ್ರಭಾವ ಅಗಾಧ. ಇದು ನನ್ನಿಂದ ಅಸಾಧ್ಯ ಎಂಬ ಭಾವ ಕಾಡಿದಾಗಲೆಲ್ಲಾ ಈ ಕಿವಿಮಾತು ಕೈ ಹಿಡಿದು ನಡೆಸಿದ್ದದ್ದುಂಟು. ಹೀಗೆ ಮುಂದೆ ನಡೆದದ್ದರಿಂದ ನಾನೇ ಅಚ್ಚರಿಪಡುವಂತೆ ಬೆಳೆದದ್ದುಂಟು! ಇಂತಹ ಬೆಳೆವು ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸಂತಸಕ್ಕೆ ಕಾರಣವಾದರೂ ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನಂದುಕೊಂಡ 'ನನ್ನತನ' ಚೂರು ಚೂರೇ ಅಳಿಯುವ ನೋವು ಕೆಣಕದೆ ಉಳಿಯುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.

ಈ ಅಸ್ತಿತ್ವದ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ ನಿರಂತರವಾದದ್ದು. ಎಳವೆಯ ಅರಿವೆ ಜಾರಿದ ಹಾಗೆ ಹಿರಿತನದ ಉಡುಗೆ ಮೈಯನ್ನೇರುವುದು, ಮಗು ಮುಗ್ಧತೆಯನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾ ಬದುಕನ್ನು ಕಲಿಯುವಂತೆ!! ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಿನ ಹಾಲಿಗೆ ಕಾಫಿ ಪುಡಿಯನ್ನು ಬೆರೆಸಿ ಕಾಫಿಯ ಆಸೆಗೆ ಹಾಲನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದೇ ಬದುಕು, ಹಾಲಿನ ಮೇಲಿನ ಒಲವು ಹೆಚ್ಚಾಗಿ ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಇರಿಸಿದರೆ ಕೆಟ್ಟು ಹೋದೀತು! ನಾವು ಸಹ ನಿಂತರೆ ಕೆಟ್ಟು ಹೋದೇವು ಎಂದುಕೊಂಡು ಕಾಲಿಗೆ ಚಕ್ರ ಕಟ್ಟಿಕೊಂಡು ಅತ್ಯುತ್ತಮಗಳ ಹಿಂದೆ ದೌಡಾಯಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ. ಈ ಓಟದಲ್ಲಿ ನೆನ್ನೆ ಕಣ್ಣೊಳಗೆ ನೇಯ್ದಿಟ್ಟ ಕನಸುಗಳ ಚಾದರದ ಬಿಸುಪು ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಕೈ ಜಾರುತ್ತದೆ, ಅಕ್ಕರೆಯಿಂದ ಎತ್ತಿಟ್ಟ ನಿರೀಕ್ಷೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲಾ ಸುಳಿವೇ ಸಿಗದ ಹಾಗೆ ಕಾಣದಾಗುತ್ತವೆ. ಅದೇ ಹೊತ್ತಿಗೆ ಖಾಲಿಯಾದ ಜೋಳಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅನುಭವದ ಕೂಸು ಬೆಳೆಯತೊಡಗುತ್ತದೆ, ಬದುಕಲು ಕಲಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಈ ಹೊತ್ತಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊಸ-ಹೊಸ ಕನಸುಗಳು, ಆಸೆಗಳು, ಆಸರೆಗಳು ಎದೆಗೆ ಲಗ್ಗೆಯಿಡುತ್ತವೆ, ಅವುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದಷ್ಟು ಬದುಕಾದರೆ, ಮತ್ತೊಂದಿಷ್ಟು ಬವಣೆಯಾಗುತ್ತದೆ, ಉಳಿದದ್ದು ಮರೆವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ!

ದಿನಾ-ದಿನಾ ನೇಸರನೆದ್ದಾಗ ಹೊಸಬರಾಗಿ ಏಳುವ ನಾವು ನಿನ್ನೆಯ ಸೀರೆ ಬದಿಗಿರಿಸಿ, ಇಂದಿಗೆ ಒಪ್ಪುವ ದಿರಿಸನ್ನು ತೊಟ್ಟುಕೊಳ್ಳುವಾಗ ನಿನ್ನೆಯ ಸೀರೆಯನ್ನು ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಟ್ಟ ನಾನು ಅಳಿದುಹೋಗಿಲ್ಲವೇ? ಪ್ರೇಮ ಪತ್ರಗಳ ಓದಿ ಎದೆಯೆಲ್ಲಾ ಗುಲಾಬಿಯಾಗಿಸಿಕೊಂಡವಳು ಇಂದು ಕಂಬನಿ ಚೆಲ್ಲುವಾಗ ಗುಲಾಬಿ ಹೃದಯವನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಳ್ಳಲಿಲ್ಲವೇ? ಬೆಚ್ಚಗಿನ ಸಂಗಾತಿಯ ಎದೆಗೊರಗುವಾಗ ತವರಿಗೆ ಮಗಳು ದೂರವಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲವೇ? ಆಸೆಗಳ ಬದಿಗೊತ್ತಿ ಮಗನ ಹೆಗಲಿಗೇರಿಸಿದಾಗ ಅಪ್ಪನ ಕನಸು ಕಳೆದು ಹಗಲಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲವೇ? ಗಂಡನ ಕೆಲಸ ಕೈ ಕೊಟ್ಟಾಗ ಮಡದಿಯೂ ಬದುಕ ಬಂಡಿಗೆ ಹೆಗಲಾದಾಗ ಅಂಗೈಯ ಮೃದುತ್ವ ಮರೆಯಾಗಲಿಲ್ಲವೇ? ಕಳೆವೆರಡು ಜೊತೆಯಾದಾಗ ಕೂಡಬೇಕಂತೆ, ಹಸಿವು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡ ಮಗು ಮೊಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಕಣ್ಣೀರು ಕಳೆದು ಮುಗುಳ್ನಗು ಕೂಡುವ ಹಾಗೆ, ನಿದ್ದೆ ಕಣ್ಸೇರುವ ಹಾಗೆ! ಬೆವರು ಸುರಿಸಿ ದುಡಿವ ಜೀವಕ್ಕೆ ಹಸಿವು ಕಳೆದಾಗ ಸಂತೃಪ್ತಿ ಕೂಡುವ ಹಾಗೆ! ಅಮಾವಾಸ್ಯೆಯ ರಾತ್ರಿ ಕಳೆದ ಮೇಲೆ ಆಗಸ ದಿನ ಕಳೆದ ಹಾಗೆ ಒಂದೊಂದಾಗಿ ಚಂದ್ರನ ಚೂರನ್ನು ತನ್ನ ಮೇಲೆ ಸೇರಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಹಾಗೆ! ಸುಡು ಬಿಸಿಲ ನಡು ಮಧ್ಯಾಹ್ನ ಕಳೆದಾಗ ತಾಪ ಇಳಿದು ತಂಪು ಸಂಜೆ ತೂರಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಹಾಗೆ!

ಅಳಿದು ಹೋದ ಪಾಲು ಅಷ್ಟೇ ತೂಕದ ಇನ್ನೇನೋ ಒಂದಷ್ಟನ್ನು ಬಡ್ಡಿಯ ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಸೇರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಬೆಳೆಯುತ್ತದೆ. ನೆನ್ನೆ ನಾನಿದ್ದೇನೆ ಎಂದ 'ನಾನು' ಇಂದು ಹೇಳ ಹೆಸರಿಲ್ಲದ ಹಾಗೆ ಮರೆಯಾಗುತ್ತದೆ. ಅದರ ಜಾಗದಲ್ಲಿ ಹೃದಯ ಇನ್ನೇನನ್ನೋ ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಮನಸಿಗೊಪ್ಪಿದ ಅಂಶಗಳನ್ನೆಲ್ಲಾ ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಹಾಕಿ ಹೊಸ 'ನಾನನ್ನು' ಸೃಷ್ಟಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತದೆ. ಇಷ್ಟಪಟ್ಟು ಹೊಸ ಅಸ್ತಿತ್ವವನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿಕೊಂಡ ಮೇಲೂ ಮನಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಹಿಂದಿನ ಉಳಿವುಗಳ ಮೇಲೆ ವಿಶೇಷ ವ್ಯಾಮೋಹ. ಆಗಾಗ ಉಳಿಕೆಗಳನ್ನು ರಾಶಿ ಹಾಕಿ ಇನ್ನು ಕಳೆದುಹೋಗದಿರಲೆಂದು ಒಲವಿನಿಂದ ಬದಿಗೆತ್ತಿಡುತ್ತದೆ!! ಕೊನೆಗೆ ಉಳಿಕೆಗಳೆಲ್ಲಾ ಸೇರಿಕೊಂಡು ನಾವು ನಮ್ಮದೇ ಆದ ವಿಶಿಷ್ಟ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿತ್ವವೊಂದನ್ನು ರೂಪಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತೇವೆ. ಹೊಸತು ಸೇರಿಕೊಂಡದ್ದರಲ್ಲಿ ಅಳಿದು ಹೋದದ್ದೆಲ್ಲಾ ಬೆಳವಣಿಗೆ ಅಲ್ವೇ?

ಖಾಲಿ ಹಾಳೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಬರೆದ ಚಿತ್ರದ ಗೆರೆಗಳನ್ನು ಕಲಾವಿದನಾಗುವ ಹಾದಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೆಷ್ಟೋ ಬಾರಿ ಅಳಿಸಿ ಮತ್ತೆ -ಮತ್ತೆ ಬರೆಯುತ್ತಾನೆ.ಸಮಯ ಕಳೆದಂತೆಲ್ಲಾ ಅಳಿಸಿಹೋಗುವಂತಹ ಗೆರೆಗಳನ್ನು ಚಿತ್ರಕಾರ ಬರೆಯುವುದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ! ಅನುಭವಗಳು ಹೆಚ್ಚುತ್ತಾ ಹೋದಂತೆ ಅಳಿಸಬೇಕಾದ ಅಥವಾ ಅಳಿಸಬೇಕೆನ್ನುವ ಗೆರೆಗಳು ಕಲಾವಿದನ ಕುಂಚದಿಂದ ಹಾಳೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಮೂಡುವುದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಹಾಗೇನಾದರು ಮೂಡೀತೆಂದರೂ ಕಲಾವಿದ ಅದನ್ನು ತನ್ನ ಚಿತ್ರದ ಭಾಗವನ್ನಾಗಿಸುವ ಕಲೆಯನ್ನು ಸಿದ್ಧಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾನೆ. ಬದುಕೂ ಹೀಗೆಯೇ, ನಾವು ಬೆಳೆದಂತೆ ಅಳಿಸಬೇಕೆಂಬ ಘಟನೆಗಳು ನಗಣ್ಯವೆನಿಸತೊಡಗುತ್ತವೆ. ಅನುಭವದ ಹೊದಿಕೆಯ ಮೇಲೆ ' ಈ' ಅಳಿಸಬೇಕಾದದ್ದು-ಉಳಿಸಬೇಕಾದದ್ದು; ಎಲ್ಲವೂ ಚಿತ್ತಾರವಾಗಿ ರಾರಾಜಿಸುತ್ತವೆ.

ಇತ್ತೀಚೆಗೆ ನೋಡಿದ 'ರೀಲ್' ಒಂದರಲ್ಲಿ ಆಗ ತಾನೆ ಜನ್ಮದಿನ ಆಚರಿಸಿದ ಹುಡುಗಿಯೊಬ್ಬಳು ಹೇಳುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ವರುಷ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿತೆಂದು ಅನಿಸುವುದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ, ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನೆಯಂತೆಯೇಇಂದೂ ಇರುವೆನಲ್ಲಾ ಎಂದು. ಹಾಗೆನ್ನುತ್ತಾ ಅದಕ್ಕೊಂದು ಕಾರಣವನ್ನೂ ಹೇಳುತ್ತಾಳೆ, ಇಂದಿಗೆ ಇಪ್ಪತ್ಮೂರಾದರೂ ನಿನ್ನೆಯ ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತೆರಡರ ತರುಣಿ ಇನ್ನೂ ನನ್ನೊಳಗಿದ್ದಾಳೆ, ಅಂದಿನ ಎಂಟರ ಪೋರಿಯೂ ನನ್ನೊಳಗೇ ಇದ್ದಾಳೆ. ಕಳೆದ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ವರುಷಗಳನ್ನು ನಾನು ಕಳೆದುಕೊಂಡದ್ದಲ್ಲ, ನನ್ನೊಳಗೆ ಎಳೆದುಕೊಂಡದ್ದು ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಾಳೆ. ಇದನ್ನು ಕೇಳಿದಾಗ ಪ್ರಶ್ನೆಯೊಂದು ಕಾಡಿತು, ಹಾಗಾದರೆ ಬೆಳೆದನು ಎನ್ನುವಾಗ ಉಳಿಕೆಗಳನ್ನು ಗುಡ್ಡೆ ಹಾಕಿದಂತಾಯಿತೇ, ಅಥವಾ ನಮ್ಮ ಬದುಕಿನ ಪ್ರತಿ ಘಳಿಗೆಯನ್ನೂ ನಮ್ಮೊಳಗೆ ಸೇರಿಸಿ ಕೂಡಿಹಾಕಿದಂತಾಯಿತೇ?!

ಉತ್ತರ ನಮ್ಮೊಳಗೇ ಉಂಟಲ್ವಾ? ಪ್ರತಿಯೊಂದನ್ನು ನಮ್ಮೊಳಗೆ ಉಳಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಿಲ್ಲದ ಕಾರಣ ಆಗಾಗ ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟು ನೆನಪನ್ನು- ಬದುಕನ್ನು ನಮ್ಮ ಎದೆಯೊಳಗೆ ಕೂಡಿಹಾಕುತ್ತೇವೆ. ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಚೂರು ಹೇಳಹೆಸರಿಲ್ಲದಂತೆ ಮರೆಯಾದರೆ ಮತ್ತೊಂದು ಚೂರು ಒಪ್ಪವಾಗಿ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿತ್ವದ ಅಲಂಕಾರವಾಗುತ್ತದೆ.

ಬೆಳೆದೆನು ಎನ್ನುವಾಗ, ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಇದ್ದದ್ದನ್ನು ಇದ್ದ ಹಾಗೆ ಒಪ್ಪಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಮನೋಭಾವ ನಮ್ಮೊಳಗೆ ಹುಟ್ಟಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತದೆ ಎಂದರೆ ತಪ್ಪಾಗಲಾರದು. ಬದುಕಿನ ಹಾದಿಯಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಮುಳ್ಳುಗಳನ್ನು ಹಾಗೂ ಅದರ ಗಾಯಗಳನ್ನು ಸಹಜವೇ ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಾ ಸ್ವೀಕರಿಸಿದಾಗ, ಹಾಗಾಯಿತು- ಹೀಗಾಯಿತು ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಾ ಹಲುಬುವ ಬದಲು ಇನ್ನೇನು ಮಾಡಿದರೆ ಈ ಪರಿಸ್ಥಿತಿಯಿಂದ ನಾನು ಹೊರಬಂದೇನು ಎಂದು ಯೋಚಿಸಲು ಪ್ರಾರಂಭಿಸುತ್ತೇವೆ. ಜನರು ಹೀಗಿದ್ದರೆ ಚೆನ್ನ ಎನ್ನುವ ಮನೋಭಾವ ಕಳೆದುಹೋಗಿ ಜನರೂ ಹೇಗಿದ್ದರೂ ನಾನು ಹೀಗಿರಬೇಕು ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಾ ಒಂದಿಷ್ಟು ಮೌಲ್ಯಗಳನ್ನು ಬದುಕಿಗೆ ತೂಗು ಹಾಕಿದರೆ ಅಲ್ಲಿರುವುದು ನೆಮ್ಮದಿಯ ಬಾಳ್ವೆ. ಹೀಗಿರುವ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿತ್ವವನ್ನು ರೂಢಿಸಿಕೊಂಡರೆ ವೃದ್ಧರೂ ಜನರ ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ವಿಶಾಲ ಹಾಗೂ ಔದಾರ್ಯ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿಯಾಗಿ ಗೌರವಾನ್ವಿತ ವ್ಯಕ್ತಿ ಎನಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಾರೆ.

ಕ್ಷಣ ಕ್ಷಣಕ್ಕೂ ಬೆಳೆಯುವ ಪರಿ ಸೂರ್ಯನ ಸುತ್ತು ಹಾಕುವ ಭೂಮಿಯ ಪರಿಭ್ರಮಣೆಯ ಹಾಗೆ. ಯಾರಿಗೂ ತಿಳಿಯದಂತೆ ನಿರಂತರವಾಗಿ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಲೇ ಇರುತ್ತದೆ.

ಖಾಲಿಯಾದರೂ ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ತನ್ನಲ್ಲಿರಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಆಕಾಶದ ಹಾಗೆ ಬೆಳವಣಿಗೆ!! ತುಂಬಿದ ಕೊಡ ತುಳುಕುವುದಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬ ಮಾತಿನಂತೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಪಡೆದಂತೆಲ್ಲಾ ಅಷ್ಟು ಖಾಲಿಯಾಗಿದ್ದೇವೆ ಎಂದರ್ಥ. ಆಧ್ಯಾತ್ಮಿಕವಾಗಿಯೂ ಮಾನವ ಪರಿಪೂರ್ಣನಾಗುವುದು ಖಾಲಿಯಾದಾಗ ಅಲ್ಲವೇ?!

ಉಳಿದುಕೊಳ್ಳಬೇಕೆಂಬ ತವಕದಿಂದ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ಷಣವೂ ಹೋರಾಡುವ ನಾವು ಬೆಳೆಯುವ ಪ್ರತಿ ಘಳಿಗೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಅಳಿಯುತ್ತಿರುವುದು ನಮ್ಮ ಕಳವಳವಾಗುವುದೇ ಇಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೂ ಕೊಳೆಯುವುದಕ್ಕಿಂತ ಅಳಿದು ಬೆಳೆಯುವುದೇ ಚೆನ್ನಲ್ಲವೇ? ಶೂನ್ಯದ(೦) ಹಾಗೆ ಸಂಪೂರ್ಣವಾಗುವುದು ಸೊಗಸಲ್ಲವೇ?!

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