Payne's Blog

Dear Nigerians, let parents raise their kids and keep your opinions to yourselves

2016-07-11T08:19:00.001+01:00

It seems everywhere I go, somebody wants to contradict my parenting. When passers-by see my two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Ally, trip and fall they go to help her up while I'm trying to teach her to pull herself up on her own. Her friends' parents just assume I'm okay with her eating indomie. The HeteroAjayi Enforcers keep asking her if she has a boyfriend. And worst of all, they ruin our special time: robbing people inside the ABC night bus together.

"Isn't it late for such a little girl to be out?" they ask.

Wow. Just wow. They think I don't monitor my daughter's sleep just because she is out at night? Ally and I are out at 2 AM because daytime robberies can go bad really quick (do you have any idea just how many checkpoints there are now?). So you see, I'm doing what's best for her here.

"Is it safe for a little girl to hold such a big gun?"

Yes, guns can be dangerous, but I am not going to shield my daughter from all the dangers of this world. Rather than pretend life is just rainbows and ice cream, I have given her a shotgun. You think I don't care about her safety? I made it smaller for her by sawing off the barrel. And it's pretty rich that you think I'm unsafe when you're the one with a shotgun pointed at your knees.

"Please, here is my phone and my wallet! Just go! I have a family!"

Abeg o...Is that supposed to imply that I don't have a family? That just because I choose to incorporate my daughter into my life rather than leave her at home with a sitter (that will eat all the food in the house), somehow your family is better than mine? Armed robbery is the only way Ally and I feel truly alive and we will ride this horse straight to wherever this takes us. But some people see us having a good time together and they just don't understand. Would you believe someone actually called the police? The police! (as if they would ever get to the scene in time). Just because my daughter was unsupervised for a few seconds while I was threatening the driver. Go Helicopter your children. Ally and I are doing just fine.

Also, yes, a toddler in a ski mask holding a sawed-off shotgun is adorable, but don't record my daughter without my permission (all these people and their smartphones sef...). It is an invasion of her privacy and denial of her agency (yeah we still have laws in Nigeria). She is not an object of your amusement; she is a trained outlaw who will never be taken alive.

Yes, yes: I know people mean well, We all want children to grow up happy and healthy, but give the benefit of the doubt to us parents that we just might know what's best for our own kids. Please respect my decision and let me raise my own child.

Now, hurry up and pick up your dignity from the floor because the water in her toy gun is beginning to leak out.

First of all, in case you didn't figure it out...this is a joke. Second, we really need to learn to mind our business in this country. Let people raise their kids. Don't help them. Face your own and if you don't have then what makes you think you know any better? Keep your opinions to yourself.

So you weaned your baby when he was seven months old and you judge your colleague because her one-year old is still sucking? Because your child is great at maths, every other kid becomes dumb and needs extra tutorials? If God blessed you and you can afford to send a driver to pick your own kid doesn't make other parents who cant afford to, callous... We really need to stop please....Good morning

3 Reasons Why Plateau State Must Produce An Apc Governor

2015-04-08T09:39:00.001+01:00

Original Article written by Despan Kwardem

Now that General Muhammadu Buhari is our President-elect, Plateau people must vote and install an APC governor as a matter of political expediency. Had President Goodluck Jonathan won the presidential election, voting the APC would have been a matter of choice.

The peoples protest against Gov Jang’s imposition to actualize his Du Agenda may have informed this choice to vote for the APC, a choice the PDP machinery at the centre would have cast all manner of spell to frustrate. With GMB’s emergence, this choice has been eliminated. Voting for the APC in protest is no longer sufficient reasons to vote PDP out of power; it is now a matter of survival and relevance. I adduce three reasons for this:

1. Access to Federal Opportunities (Appointments).

There are two kinds of federal opportunities (appointments) which States benefit from. The first type is the appointments guaranteed by the constitution and the principle of federal character. There are basically three of them – Minister, Ambassador, Federal Permanent Secretary. The second types are those that are given at the prerogative of Mr. President. Although the principle of federal character still applies, it is not strictly followed. An APC governor in Plateau State would guarantee the latter.

Already, Plateau State has the ignoble label of being an eternal PDP State. Voting in a PDP governor would only reinforce this stereotyping and reduce the State's chances of getting federal appointments that fall within the prerogative of the President.

General Buhari is an honourable gentleman, a statesman and man of equity. So we expect he will distribute these appointments equitably. That is the duty of a leader. However, my fear stems from the experience of the State during the Goodluck Jonathan Presidency. Out of nearly 350 federal appointments into Boards of federal Agencies and Parastatals, Goodluck Jonathan could only credit Plateau State with two positions, none of them a Chairman.

Recall that the Chairman of the '16 versus 19' PDP Governors' Forum was from Plateau State. He was not only a party henchman; he was a complete loyalist of Jonathan's. Apart from Sarah Ochekpe (a berom compatriot of Baba Jang) the only federal minister and Esther Gonda (another berom compatriot) a federal Permanent Secretary who was replaced by one Danjuma from Langtang, Mr. Jonathan couldn't use his prerogative to give Plateau State any federal appointments. Except of course, Paradang in the Nigerian Immigration Service.

On the contrary, the northwest had 8 federal ministers, 8 federal permanent Secretaries, Speaker of the House of Representatives, the last 3 successive Inspectors General of Police, the last 4 Chief Justices of Nigeria, except the one before the present CJN, Comptroller General of Customs, Acting DG of FIRS, etc, yet, the North west never voted him. I don't remember any federal infrastructure in Plateau State (It still beats me that Plateau State voted for him in the last election).

Now we don't want a repeat of this marginalisation under GMB – which is very likely if a Jang anointed should succeed him as governor.

However, an APC governor would definitely stand a better chance to negotiate for these positions on our behalf. Already, the APC on the Plateau has a good bargaining chip...the massive votes we gave the General in the presidential election. We would need to consolidate on that advantage by voting massively again for the APC in the governorship election. This would keep the channel of communication between State and Federal open.

2. To ensure that Plateau State remains relevant in the national calculation.

A man without relevance in any community cannot influence anything. He is like a man with no value. Voting for the PDP governorship puts Plateau state in this state of risk. But we can eliminate this risk. Plateau State has always been relevant in national issues. We must remain so by carving the right alignments. And in the national political calculation, being in the mainstream APC seems a good prospect.

As it is, our only other channels at the federal level – senators and members of the house of Representatives – are predominantly in the PDP (again reinforcing the stereotype). With 64 APC senators elected, the PDP is suddenly now the opposition party and our 3 J-senators automatically members of the minority party. What this means is that they cannot be made principal officers. At best, the party may reward the State by giving one of them the position of minority leader or chief whip... if they are able to negotiate well. This effectively diminishes our bargaining power and by a larger implication, relevance in the national calculation.

Now this is certainly not a good political outlook for Plateau state, which has traditionally been in the mainstream of political affairs in this country since the return of democratic governance in 1999. As a matter of expediency therefore, we must remain in the mainstream. Holding unto the PDP just to fulfill and maintain a tradition will not help us much.

Without an Executive linkage to the APC at the national level, Plateau State could easily be alienated in the national equation. Our only hope, like I said earlier, is that GMB is a fair man. He would use his prerogative to not only appoint our people into federal positions, but also reach out to keep Plateau State relevant. But we can’t just rely on GMB's generosity alone. Let’s earn it!

3. To provide Change on the Plateau.

The last reason why Plateau must vote APC is to provide change in Plateau state and end what I call 3I-Culture, i.e. the triple-I evils of imposition, impunity and ignobility. These three evils were the hallmarks of the Jonathan administration – the same evils that stirred the souls of Nigerians to demand for change. Everyone knows that no society can be built on the principles of injustice and inequality. As such, Plateau State cannot be an exception. In fact, by its very religious nature and disposition, Plateau State ought to lead the way in this fight for change.
Moreover, the gale (wind) of change is sweeping across the nation; so why not also the Plateau?

This might look like a pedestrian argument perhaps it is but it has its merits. Baba Jang has done his bit. PDP has had her share of governance since 1999. Perhaps it is time to try another party, even if for the fun of it. It is like we have been eating rice all our lives. Should we not want to try beans or semo this time around? Voting in the APC, even if for the sake of trying them, gives us an opportunity to know the difference. We must not be afraid to do this. Waiting till the next election may be late.

Too late.

Moreover, the just concluded presidential election has proven that the power to change governments is in our hands! Unless we try this change now, we can never be sure if the APC is a better party or not. But if we vote them into power and they disappoint, then in 2019, we can easily tell them, ‘we gave you a chance and you failed” and vote them out like we did the PDP at the federal level. But something tells me the APC may be a better choice.

They have a glowing example in Lagos and Osun, where their youth empowerment programme is one of the best models by any government in the country. So may be, if Plateau state votes the APC into governorship, we will not only be in the mainstream of national dance of change, but specifically test the party’s capability on the Plateau.

On the strength of these three points therefore, it has become strategically imperative, in my opinion, that Plateau State votes Right. Hon. Simon Lalong, candidate of the APC as the next governor of the state.

3 Not so romantic moves in Nigeria

2014-07-06T07:14:00.001+01:00

I recently saw a movie where the protagonist was given one week to prove his undying love for the love of his life. Some of the things he tried were drop dead romantic and some where...well...not that much. I started thinking what would it be like if a guy in Nigeria was faced with this challenge?

Sorry sha, I'm not about to give you seven romantic ideas to prove undying love but I can give you 3 romantic ideas that have the opposite effect.

This is no form of generalisation. I know not everyone is the same so this isn't valid for every woman you might meet but at least you would know enough not to try them anyhow.

1. FLOWERS: I still don't even get this one but there is that smile that comes to the face of a woman when a guy shows up at her door with a bouquet of flowers or even a single rose...at least in the movies anyway. Now I'm not really sure why but it doesn't seem to elicit the same reaction over here. Maybe it's the wrong type of red rose. Maybe we don't have the right glands to find it appealing or maybe you simply would be considered thrifty...The point is over here flowers are just what they are: flowers. They belong in a garden and that's where she wants to see them; not in your hands.

2. ROSE PETALS, RED SHEETS, SCENTED CANDLES: This one should have been romantic but thanks to nollywood you can kiss it goodbye. Imagine getting to a girl's house and finding an open door with rose petals on the floor leading to a semi dark area just around the corner. Once in the first thing you notice is her lying down on a bed with red sheets surrounded by scented candles...well?
I asked a few people and one word kept coming up and I think you have the word in your head by now: RITUALS. Some guys might argue that they won't be bothered and maybe they won't but I just think if you don't want her running back and screaming "he wants to use me for blood money", I suggest you on your gen.

3. THE NIGHT DRIVE:
So those Americans down south grab a truck full of Beer, drive to the country side and park in a nice remote spot with a good view of either the moon or the town...sometimes both and they have a good time. Oya wake up. Try that rubbish here and you will be lucky not to fall into police hands. If that wasn't deterrent enough, which kind mumu country side wey get remote spot no go be armed robber hideout? There might be a few exceptions but the general rule...especially with the current security challenges we face is not to be in funny places in the day talk more of in the night. Besides if the girl has any sense at all...she no go gree follow you.

Which others come to your mind?

10 Nigerian stress killers

2014-07-02T20:22:00.001+01:00

Hey people, ever had a day where it just seemed like ever thing was just too much? A day when you wish you could just disappear for a while. Then you realise you can't and it makes you bitter and irritable. Then when bimbo says you are annoying you begin to wonder if she knows you or has just been handing around Musa for too long.

The truth is at some point we all get stressed out. More so in our beloved naija. The holdup. The annoying oga or that annoying landlord. House rent matters plus school fees and a 5 month old kid who's hobby is either 'how much can I poop' or 'how loud can I cry'. Don't even get me started on nepa and very annoying neighbours. Or that mechanic that messed with your car and now it's making that funny sound....See? You know what I'm saying. This is our life and how can we not be stressed?

So I made a list of 10 tips that have helped me and decided to share. So grab a chair and read.

1. READ: Face it. As long as you're reading this article you unconsciously put down most of your cares for a while. I start with this because it's easily accessible and really the cheapest tip I have used. After a hard day, just as you hit the bed your mind plays your day all over and most times you start thinking of things and then you don't sleep well. Get something to read. Anything that isn't serious. I usually log on to nairaland and browse through the jokes and romance section and usually find a lot to laugh about. Some people read about sports. Others read novels. The point is reading helps relax your brain. (As long as it isn't school or work related anyway). If that doesn't work, don't worry. I've got 9 more up my sleeve.

2. WALK: Say you get home and nepa has done it again. You know how your shoulders just go down and you suddenly feel even more tired than you already felt. Take a shower and wear something loose and casual. Step outside and take a small stroll. This is especially good for couples. Get your wife outside the house and this time not to go to the market or pick the kids. You don't even have to walk far. Mallams shop is a good enough distance. Look around if you're alone and you could even listen to music. You might find out that some things about your neighbourhood you normally wouldn't notice. Enjoy the view. Suya smoke. Fish sellers setting up. Barbers and salons with their smoking gens and those annoying bikes that think the road is theirs. Once immersed in this chaos you'll be lost in it and your mind leaves the days worries behind. At least for a while. Greet malam for me o.

3. TALK: Look one thing you will always find readily available is talkers. They are in your office, in your school, in your area and even in your church. I live in abuja. Kubwa to be precise and once in a while I just go outside to talk aimlessly. It's not a habit. Just a way to relive stress. You'll always find talking points. From telemundo to premier league. From kids to apc vs pdp. A plus with this is that you get to meet new people. Try to stay away from loud music tho. That doesn't help in anyway...except you're an avid clubber in which case you wouldn't need to be reading this.

4. PLAY: This might not work for a lot of people but it is a big stress killer. You can even do it once a week and still get stellar results. Find a sport, ride a bike, go swimming...ok fine...go and watch people play a sport or do something you're to lazy to do. Stress makes us feel old. Play does the opposite. Strike a balance today and see how fulfilling it could be. This is one of my favorites.

5. SLEEP: All I've written is fine and dandy but look, nothing beats Saturday sleep. Forget about everything. The house won't fall down before 12pm. Sleep very well at least one Saturday in a month. Don't worry about that wedding...you can arrive at the reception late. This one doesn't need much explanation....don't wake up early on Saturday.

6. THE CHICKEN REPUBLIC/MR. BIGGS FACTOR: Some people might frown at this but me I no send. Grab your phone one evening or during the weekend and walk into an eatery. Buy one meatpie and a drink and sit down with either a book or your phone. You are guaranteed at least 1 hour of peace and air conditioning while you idly chat or read or browse or do whatever it is you want to do. Increase the fun buy adding a friend. Remember this is to link stress...so guys don't invite that babe you are toasting unless it's a date. I do this a lot. It's cheaper than you think and just as much fun and you can imagine...In abuja the air conditioning is a big boost which makes this my second favourite.

7. WRITE: Some sharp people would figure from this particular point that this article serves as a stress reducing agent for me and the would be right. Most people would tell you they can't write and I am not Oprah that will tell you you can. If you can't write then you can't write. Which makes this even better because now there is no pressure. Grab a notepad or a diary or your phone. Write down your thoughts....as they come in any order they come. Trust me you'll be surprised at what you manage to produce and some of you may find out that maybe Oprah was right after all.

8. Movie/Karaoke Night: Yeah...you know na. This one is simple. I prefer me and my headphones in the toilet singing like I'm in maybe idols West Africa. ..what ever works for you sha....It kills stress like a boring person kills basket mouths show.

9. BUILD/FIX SOMETHING: For my dad it's usually his car. As far as he is concerned there is always something wrong with it. It allows you discover talents. Doesn't have to be a big thing. Eniola does free make up for her neighbours and mike try to sew some crazy designs I will never buy. I like to fix my annoying generator. Between that diy I printed online and what I've been watching that mechanic do I usually get a good grip. Point is do something with your hands that isn't a chore or your daily work. Here are a few tips: rearrange your furniture. Fix that bad tap. Clean the back of your television (you know there is dust there)...doesn't have to be a big thing but it helps if it takes at least and hour and makes you sweat. Combine that with good music or good jist and stress just died. Charlie Boy must attend this funeral too....

10. ROMMA ROMMA: Yes we all need some of that. Gaan figure it out on your own.

[CUSTOM ROM] Phantom A2: Flash them all

2014-01-20T08:41:00.002+01:00

So after much thought, I decided to make this file to save both parties much stress. This file simply allows you to port any A+ rom I have made to your phone. Its simple but let me put number so that It'll look official.

1. Download the porter HERE
2. Download any of the A+ roms you want from my blog (please note that whatever bugs it has on the A+ will also be on the A2 so check the comments and reviews especially on nairaland)
3. Make a backup of your rom with CWM (please this is a very important step)
4. Flash the A+ rom to your device (remember to wipe data/factory reset before flashing)
5. Flash the porter
6. Reboot
7* This isn't expected to happen but if your device is stuck at the boot logo (aka doesn't boot) just remove your battery and put it back. then boot into CWM again and go to backup and restore. Now select advanced restore and choose the most recent backup (which should be the one you made at step 3. Shey I told you it was important abi?) and select restore boot. Once that is done, reboot again. It should boot just fine now.

Kit Kat is still far off o. The apps work but the framework has refused to boot so please be patient. Thanks for your time. Happy Porting

Unbricking Phantom A

2013-12-11T08:29:00.002+01:00

Unbricking Tecno A

Ok so you rooted and installed apps and somehow and someway you managed to brick your device...lets fix it.

FILES
First of all, here are the files you will need:

1. Stock rom for phantom A: Here and get the flash files here

2. Specific flashtool that works on A: Here

3. Drivers for the A: Here (I would advice that you uninstall any previous drivers for any tecno you have installed as they might cause a conflict. here is a way to test if your drivers are working properly. with the phone off, open your computers device manager and plug the phone. you should see "mediatek preloader..." come up for about 5 seconds and disappear. if it shows with a yellow arrow on it then the drivers are not installed correctly. if it doesnt have the yellow arrow then you are good to go.)

DISCLAIMER: Follow THESE instructions and Download THESE files for TECNO PHANTOM A only. I will not be held for any mishap caused by instructions followed from somewhere else.

HOW TO FLASH:
1. now open the folder where u downloaded d files to (everything must be in d same folder o) and cut the scatter file out and paste it in anoda place (anywhere. just make sure its not in d same folder as the other files).
open sp flash tools and use d file tab to load DAT scatter file.

2. now it should show you a list of things to flash. untick everything except recovery, boot and system (that means only these 3 should be ticked o). now double click on d word recovery and select d recovery you downloaded there. please make sure everything is in d same folder o.
do the same for the boot and system image u downloaded.

3. remove the bat3 from the bricked or unhappy A. click download in sp flash tools and plug d bricked f7. flashing will begin and when it ends you should see a green circle. if it doesnt start den remove and plug again. if you try three times and it doesnt flash den u didnt install the drivers correctly.

4.if you see the green circle then congrats you have successfully flashed your phone. now please first things first, after you finish patting yourself on the back about what a wonderful guru you are. put off the phone and wait for it to vibrate. the hold the volume up button and press and hold the power button until it shows you three options. use the volume button to navigate to recovery mode and use the volume down button to select it. cwm should boot. now please backup your phone.

thank you guys...its been a pleasure.

If You have any questions, place a comment here.

Let's pretend

2013-12-02T22:52:00.001+01:00

Let's pretend we cared and it all made sense
Let's believe we did our best and it all paid off
Because if we don't then we accept the blame
And are responsible for the broken glass

Let's pretend we actually voted
Pretend we got who we wanted
Because if we can't then the wolves come out
And we are left with sheep's clothing

Let's pretend it was our choice
Say we agreed to the policies
So we can say we have failed
And karma has paid

Let's pretend they had good lives
Nod our heads and say it was destiny
That way the bombs would be from God
And the blame not on us

Let's pretend we are all educated
And that our leaders are wise
And then we could Rest assured
We are represented outside as we should be

Let's pretend public officials were true
Let's assume they are misunderstood
That way we can join hands and search
For that elusive saboteur crippling us

Let's pretend this wasn't Nigeria
Let's call it an experiment
Little learned and little gained
Let's call it a day.

[CUSTOM ROM] Melting Rocks III for Tecno A+ and A2

2013-11-18T16:16:00.001+01:00

Without too much talk, I give you version III. Remember, I am irresponsible.
This is an OS update so for all intents an purposes it would be like stock Samsung.

1) Download Melting Rocks III.zip File Here for A+ and here for A2
2) Put into External/Internal SD Card
3) Go To CMW Recovery
4) Wipe Data
5) Take a deep breath
6) Wipe System
7) Wipe Dalvik Cache
8) Select Install From SD (Internal or External)
9) Select Melting Rocks.zip And Select YES
10) select OK

11) Reboot Your System
12) Enjoy

BTW Credit goes to Muntazir Abbas.

Tecno A+: Fix IMEI invalid error

2013-11-16T02:16:00.001+01:00

UPDATE::: Someone called me today to say the flashing steps weren't working. So this an alternative step to fix it. Note however that this fix is only temporary. If you perform a factory reset or flash a new ROM it will revert back and you will have to do it again. You will need a working A+ without the error to fix your own.

1. Download mtk droid tools. Yeah Google it.

2. Make sure you have adb drivers installed and that USB debugging is enabled on the working A+.

3. Plug the working A+ to the computer and wait for it to be detected by the program. Note that if the program fails to correctly detect the phone then step 2 must be done again.

4. Once connected, you should see the root button. Click on it to root the phone. Note that wether or not you have rooted before you still need to perform this step. If you have superuser or super su installed you will need to click grant on your phone for the rooting to work.

5. Now you should see a notification that root access has been granted. Now click on the IMEI/NVRAM button and choose backup. This will create two files in the droid tools folder. The files will be stored inside a folder called BackupNVRAM.

6. Now plug the A+ you want to fix and perform 3 and 4 again.

7. Now click do step 5 but instead of clicking backup this time you click restore and select the file created for your phone. You will get two prompts so you select the two files created.

8. Final step. Get the pack of your phone or look behind the battery and copy out the IMEI no pasted there. Do step 5 and this time change the numbers there to the one for your phone or else you will have the same number as the other A+ which sometimes might cause problems. If you don't have access to yours u can just type a bunch of numbers or use an IMEI generator (yeah Google that too).

Thanks.

UPDATE::: Here is a video tutorial for those having issues with the flashing: WATCH

So in the past one month I have received numerous calls, emails, dm's and blog comments. All pointing to one issue: Seun, my phone is giving me imei error and not detecting my sim card.

At first I didn't understand why this was happening and particularly with this particular phone until it happened to me.
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for this error. It is caused by in correct flashing and while that is not my fault I should have provided advice for its eventuality.

Let's fix it. Here's what you will need:
1. Sp flash tools for a+ (get it from the unbricking post)
2. Adb drivers (use pda.net)
3. Mtk drivers (get it from the unbricking post)
4. Mtk DROID tools (Google it)

It's really simple. I have modified the stock nvram partition to allow multiple imei numbers so you can flash it on your phone. Let's go

Download the nvram here

Download imei backup here

Download modded scatter file here

Now follow the procedure in the unbricking thread but use the modded scatter file instead of the default one.

Tick only nvram and point it to the nvram.bin you downloaded

Flash that and boot your phone again. It would recognize your sim cards now. But you will still have the invalid imei error.

Download mobile uncle tools from plays tore and install on your phone. Now open it and go to imei backup restore. Choose the first option. This will create a file imei.bak in your phone storage. Check your mem card of its not there.

Quit mobile uncle tools and overwrite the imei.bak file with the one you downloaded.

Open mobile uncle tools again and go back to the backup tab and chose restore. It will ask to restart your phone.

Now you have imei but not the one for your phone. You can leave it like that if you like.

If you want your own unique imei though you can use Mtk DROID tools to change it. You will find your imei behind your battery or on the carton of your phone.

Thank you for your time. Happy flashing.

UPDATE!!!

For those of you getting errors when trying to flash, its becasue tecno recently changed the partition layout of their phones...don't know why. So this is a fix for that. Go to the unbricking thread and download all the files there (just as if you had bricked your phone) then follow the instructions there. The only difference are:

1. You have to format the phone with spflash tools before you flash. Load the scatter file in this post first.

2. After formatting, you now need to flash the phone brand new again. and this time you have to load all the files when flashing. I think for this I'll make a video. But if you get the idea you can go ahead and try.

[CUSTOM ROM] UI of LIFE IV

2013-10-23T11:53:00.004+01:00

UPDATE 18-12-13: I Skipped uploading III because IV was drawing close.
Please I recommend this rom. Its beautiful and it is stable as well as being optimized for gaming and everyday use.

Download Here:

I've been away for some reasons I'm not about to tell you but this not just a hobby....its...well...I'm back sha.
Its updated and awesome and stable. 99% bug free. Lets see what we have here:

LATEST VERSION V2

* MIUI V 3.10.11
* Full dual sim support
* Fast, smooth, stable
* 3G active sim card switch
* Hidden Carrier Names
* Some layouts fixes.
* New Icons
* Front camera videorecording!
* 2G/3G toggle fixed
* EngineerMode built-in

Download HERE
===================

From here its the usual

Just in case though, here is how to install:

BACKUP YOUR APPS AND DATA FIRST (
download the rom

--reboot into recovery
navigate to the downloaded miui rom
wipe factory reset
select and flash it!
your done! and be sure to enjoy your new rom!

Note this will wipe your phone first so please remember to backup. you can use titanium backup for that.

Note also: this rom is like nothing you are used to. Addiction to it is highly likely.

Note also also: this is a custom rom. its not 100% so if something is not working as it should just mention it and i will try to fix it.
Thank you and have a nice day.

Features:

Based on official MIUI 4.2.2
Phone: Full Screen Caller ID with Auto Record Options
Messaging: Smart Auto Recipient
Network Assistant
Anti-Spam Manager
Virus Scan
ROM Backup and Restore
Password Settings
Complete Autostart Control
Permission Manager
Inbuilt Theme Engine with Theme Manager
Guard Mode
MiCloud Service with 10GB!!
MiSpace
MiTransfer
MiDownload Manager
MiUpdater
MiMusic
Unique Flip Styled Statusbar [Transparent]
Do Not Disturb Mode
Fast and Slim Launcher
And more than 200+ Functions

Here are some tips:
MIUI has its on market which unfortunately isnt in english. please flash the google apps after flashing the rom so install playstore. Flash from cwm the same way you flashed the rom.

The rom doesnt need to be rooted so please dont attempt it. you should see a folder named system. inside an app named permisions. open it and and click on root. switch on enable permission manager and yhe phone is rooted. switch it off to unroot (dont see why you would want that anyway)

Playstore might give you an error and ask you to download via wifi for files larger than 1MB. to change that open the system folder and open the downloads app. press menu and select settings. change the limit from there. it helps you control the amount of mb playstore eats.

[CUSTOM ROM] Melting Rocks II for Tecno A+

2013-10-08T12:29:00.003+01:00

Melting Rocks is still the most stable rom for the A+ but this rom looks even better. Here we go:

FEATURES
Samsung Galaxy S4 UI
Samsung Galaxy S4 Fonts
Samsung Galaxy S4 Dailer
Samsung Galaxy S4 Music
Samsung Galaxy S4 Alarms
Samsung Galaxy S4 Toggle
Samsung Galaxy S4 Sounds
Samsung Galaxy S4 Widgets
Samsung Galaxy S4 Bootlogo
Samsung Galaxy S4 Statusbar
Samsung Galaxy S4 Wallpaper
Samsung Galaxy S4 S Voice
Samsung Galaxy S4 Ringtones
Samsung Galaxy S4 UI Sounds
Samsung Galaxy S4 Notification
Samsung Galaxy S4 Lockscreen
Samsung Galaxy S4 Boot Sound
Samsung Galaxy S4 Framework
Samsung Galaxy S4 Battery Icon
Samsung Galaxy S4 Swipe to call
Samsung Galaxy S4 Voice Unlock
Samsung Galaxy S4 Task manager
Samsung Galaxy S4 Boot Animation
Samsung Galaxy S4 AccuWeather
Samsung Galaxy S4 Swipe to message
Samsung Galaxy S4 Suspension window
Samsung Galaxy S4 Touchwiz launcher(badge support)

Customized APPS
M Unlock
Busybox
Init.d Scripts
Pre-Rooted
Bump Feature
Super Smooth
Signal Tweaks
Battery Tweaks
Proximity Tweaks
Build.prop Tweaks
Faster Streaming
CM10.1 Calculator
Net Speed Tweaks
Performance Tweaks
Day Dream Launcher
Updated Google Play
No Delay In Making Call
Deodexed & Zipaligned
OG Youtube Downloader
Mobile Bravia Engine 3
Transparent Status Bar
Default External App Storage
Better Image & Audio Quality
Enables 270 Degree Rotation
Better Responsiveness & Speed
Air gestures-work only in gallery
Based on android 4.2.2
Keyboard with swipe support
13MP Camera-All Modes
XLoud
XBlast Tools
X4 Video Player
Xposed Additions
Xperia Motion Snap
Xposed Framework
Xposed Gravity Box
Xposed Icon Themer
Xposed App Settings
ViPER4Android FX
ViPER4Android XHIFI
Lockscreen Wallpaper Change Through Gravity Box

BUG!! Air gestures not working properly. Depends on how good your sensor is. Some how it seems to vary

NOTE :-Make CMW Backup for Reverting back to your old system

How To Flash :

1) Download Melting Rocks II.zip File and Calling Patch.zip both
2) Put into External/Internal SD Card
3) Go To CMW Recovery
4) Wipe Data/Factory Reset And Wipe Partition
5) From Advance Menu Do Dalvik CACHE Clear
6) Go in Mount And Storage select FORMAT SYSTEM
7) Select Intall From SD Card
8) Select Melting Rocks II.zip And Select YES
9) Reboot Your System
10)Again Go to CMW then Flash Calling Patch.zip
11)Reboot
12)Again Go to CWM and Wipe Data/Factory Reset And Wipe Partition
13)Reboot
14) Enjoy

Steps To Get S4 looks and Notification Panel

1)Launch the Xposed Installer and click on "Install/Update"
2)Go to Modules tab Tick on Gravity Box, Icon Themer,App Settings,X-Blast tools
3)Open X-Blast tools,click status bar,choose clock colour as white
4)Open Gravity Box,Go to statusbar tweaks then click Quicksettings management.
5)Click quicksetting tiles and tick all.
6)Click tiles per row and select 4.
7)Go back and click notification drawer style,select notification drawer background and then choose according to your choice.
8)Go back and click Media Tweaks and select all.
9)Go back and click About and Select Use holo dark theme.
10)CLICK FIRST TWO OPTION TO GO TO OFFICIAL THREAD OF GRAVITYBOX AND XPOSED FRAMEWORK AND PRESS THANKS FOR THIER WORK

REBOOT
Done!

DOWNLOAD ROM HERE
DOWNLOAD PATCH HERE

[CUSTOM ROM] Phantom A: Xtream Phantom

2013-10-01T02:41:00.003+01:00

Good Morning Guys

So here is the first in five customs Roms coming for the Phantom A (Not A+ O) in the next two weeks.
This here is the performance rom. It is faster and smoother with less batter drain and a host of other tweaks. No UI changes though (the updates will have them). So if you are as excited as I am to try this rom, let's see what we have.

s3 bootanimation n sound
s3 boot logo
Jelly bean icons
iphone ringtones
google play music
dolphin browser
apex launcher
deodexed
busybox
rooted
init.d
signal tweaks
3g tweaks
battery tweaks
gpu rendering
dns tweaks
media tweaks
v6 supercharger
kickasskernel
crossbreeder
reorganized build.prop file

HOW TO FLASH:

First make a backup of your phone with CWM (very important)

Wipe/Factory Reset

Wipe Cache

Flash Zip from SDcard

Reboot

Be patient, it takes about five minutes or more to boot.

Screenshots are not needed as all the changes are performance. I will however get a screenshot of the benchmark scores and upload here so keep checking for that and the other four roms.

For now, here is your XTREAM PHANTOM

[CUSTOM ROM} Tecno A+ Xperia Blast II

2013-09-26T13:50:00.001+01:00

Xperia Blast Update!!!

Xperia Blast II ROM Features

-> Android 4.2.2
-> Xperia C Lockscreen
-> Xperia Z1 Small Apps
-> Xperia Z1 Themes
-> Xperia Z1 Launcher
-> Xperia Z1 Movies
-> Xperia Z1 Albums
-> Xperia Z1 Wallpapers
-> Xperia Z1 Walkman
-> Xperia Z1 Calculator
-> Xperia Z1 Clock
-> Xperia Z1 Calender
-> Xperia Z1 Email
-> Xperia Z1 Widgets
-> Xperia Z1 Sounds
-> Xperia Z1 Bootanimation
-> Xperia Z1 Fonts
-> Xperia Z1 Framework
-> Xperia Z1 Keyboard
-> Xperia Z1 Sketch App
-> Xperia Z1 Notes App
-> Sense Me Feature
-> Downlaod Music Info
-> Xperia C SystemUI
-> Xperia C Settings
-> Annoying G Signal Removed
-> Xperia Honami Album Share
-> Xperia Honami Sound Enhancement
-> Xperia C Icons
-> Moto X Active Notifications
-> 600mb Ram Free
-> Adjust All Background Color to Album Art on Walkman
-> Music Control on Notification
-> Clear Bass
-> Clear Stereo
-> Clear Phase
-> Dynamic Normalizer
-> xLoud
-> Surround Sound VPT
-> Walkman Music Widget
-> Walkman DLNA
-> Friend Music FB
-> FB Music Like
-> Music Extension for find info on internet
-> Walkman More Stable
-> X-Reality Engine for Album & Movies
-> Photo & Video widget
-> Xposed Framework
-> Xposed Gravity Box
-> Xposed X-Theme Engine
-> Xposed XBlast Tools
-> Xposed Additions
-> New Baseband
-> Faster And Smoother
-> Pre-Rooted
-> busybox
-> Performance Tweaks
-> Faster Streaming
-> Net Speed Tweaks
-> No Delay In Making Call
-> Battery Tweaks
-> Proximity Tweaks
-> More RAM Free
-> Signal Tweaks
-> Better Responsiveness & Speed
-> Locked Launcher In Memory
-> Play Store 4.3.11
-> Enabled 270 Degree Rotation
-> Ziplagined and Deodexed
-> AD Block host by default
-> Gps.cofig added
-> Flashlight intensity increased

How To Flash :
( You Can Take CMW Backup for Revert back to your old system )

]1) Download Rom.zip File
2) Put into External/Internal SD Card
3) Go To CMW Recovery
4) Wipe Data/Factory Reset And Wipe Partition
5) From Advance Menu Do Dalvik Catch Clear
6) From Advance Menu Do Battery State Clear (Not Too Important sha)
7) Go in Mount And Storage select FORMAT SYSTEM
8) Select Install From SD and Select Rom And Click YES
9) Reboot Your System
10) Enjoy

UPDATE!!! 30 Sept 2013
Hi all,

Those who are getting many force closes in Xperia Blast II ROM..Just follow the below instruction:
1. Disable "Active Notification" app from the app itself & from the accessibility options which is under setting->accessibility->active notification(now turn it off)
Above procedure will fix many force closes. But if somebody still wanted to use this beautiful notification app, can follow the below instructions:
1. Download & install "SystemAppRemover" app from the play store.2. Search & uninstall ActiveNotification app from the "system apps" option, as it is one of the system app in this rom.3. Restart your device.4. Install "DynamicNotification" app directly from the play store.5. Run & enable dynamic notification app from the accessibility & from the app itself.6. Now ENJOY wonderful Moto X type dynamic notifications in your Tecno A+

Download HERE

Tecno Phantom A+: Clockwork Recovery and Custom Roms.

2013-09-25T09:17:00.000+01:00

Good morning everybody. I initially planned to upload pictures with this tutorial (and maybe I will) but for now I can't so i'll try to make the steps as clear as possible.

So you clearly have an A+ (not on your report card though) and first order of business (after preening of course) would be to root it. well here is how:

Rooting
1. Download the root eroot v1.3 (you should be able to find the link on nairaland. Too lazy to look) and pda.net (same as eroot). An alternative is to download my own root package here: Here

2. Install Pda.net and den open eroot. (this happens on a computer not your phone) Now on your phone you will have to navigate to Settings/About phone and click on build number at least 8 times. it should tell you something about now being a developer (as if it was that easy). go back one step and you should be back in settings. just above about phone you should find a new item called Developer options (a bit of warning here, dont mess with this area if you dont know what you are doing. part of being a developer is the ability to help your device "develop" problems)

3. just this once, click on developer options and at the top, switch it on and den scroll down and tick the usb debugging option. now go back to your homescreen and plug your device to your laptop. You will need to connected as USB storage or media device for the system to recognize your device. Eroot should display the name of your phone if done correctly.

4. Click the big green button and that usually should do the rooting. if successful you should have a new menu item named "superuser". if so then your are rooted. congratulations.

5. if alternatively you downloaded my root kit then open the folder, plug your phone after doing steps 2 and 3 (minus the eroot. the pda.net is still important). click the run batch file. (usually the first one) and follow the on screen instructions). once done your phone would restart and you would be rooted. congrats once again.

Clockwork Recovery

It is imperative to note that while cwm isnt a must, if you ever plan to root your phone and enjoy its benefits then you must accept the fact that something might go wrong along the way. with that in mind i usually recommend this step immediately after rooting. if you wont flash cwm, then i will advice against rooting also (there is the door, thanks for stopping by).

1. Download "mobileuncle tools" from here (you must be rooted for this app to work). (for some reason the one some people download causes errors so please use this one)

2. once it is installed, download the cwm from here (On some browsers the file recovery.img comes in another name with a .bin extension. Use your file manager to change it to .img before flashing

3. now put the image inside your memory card directly (not in a folder) and open the mobileuncle tools and choose the Recovery Update option. It would be the first one you see on the list.

4. select it and say yes to all it asks..(it wont take advantage of you, I promise).

5. It should reboot into recovery. which is a dark screen with blue text. (in the future, use the power button + volume up button to enter recovery mode)

Now lets back up your phone.

1. you will need at least 2GB free to back up as well as at least 50% bat3. Use the volume buttons to scroll up and down and the power button to make selections.

2. once you are in recovery mode, scroll down to backup and restore and select it. next choose the backup option which is usually the first option. Sit back and relax cuz it takes a while. Once that is done, scroll down to go back and den select the reboot phone option to turn your phone back on

So now we have rooted and backed up our phone. We can even flash superman.

Unbricking
Go Here to unbrick

Lets skip to the coolest part.

Custom Roms

1. Thunderous Nightmare
Introducing the Thunderous Nightmare rom for A+
The First Android 4.2.2 Custom Rom for Tecno A+ (Stable ROM)

Melting Rocks by Muntazir Abbas; (A tribute to someone)
Ported by Seun Payne

BLOW TO UNLOCK+WALKMAN+TOUCHWHIZ+S4 MEDIA+BUMP+S-VOICE

Features:-

--> S4 TouchWiz Launcher
--> S4 Task Manager
--> Samsung S4 Wallpapers
--> Samsung S4 Music
--> Samsung S4 Widgets
--> S4 AccuWeather
--> Samsung S4 Sounds
--> S4 UI Sounds
--> S4 Notifications
--> S4 Alarms
--> Samsung Bootanimation
--> Samsung Boot Logo
--> Samsung Fonts
--> Samsung Dailer
--> Samsung Framework
--> Samsung Settings
--> Wireless Display
--> New LockScreen (blow to unlock)
--> New Gesture supported Keyboard
--> New Sound Recorder
--> Ext4 Tweaks
--> Maxed out speed & Performance
--> Disabled most logging activities
--> Battery calibrated automatically
--> VM heap tweaks
--> Extended Reboot Commands
--> Fully Deodexed
--> Removed Micromax Registration
--> Full CPU & GPU Utilization
--> Build.prop Tweaks
--> Faster and Smoother
--> Faster Streaming
--> Internet Tweaks
--> Network Tweaks
--> Proximity Tweaks
--> Battery Tweaks
--> Samsung S-Voice
--> Bump feature (sharing)
--> Walkman
--> GPS fixed

Xposed Framework

--> XTheme Engine
--> Xposed Tweakbox
--> Xposed TabletUi
--> Xposed Clock
--> Xposed Delivery Notify Toast
--> Xposed Additions
--> Xposed Icon Themer
--> Xposed Smiley Replacer
--> Xposed CRT Animation

NO need to DOWNLOAD any other app for downloading videos from YOUTUBE "Click on OGyoutube"
it will show download option for videos {Same GUI as YOUTUBE}

How To Flash :
You Can Take CMW Backup to Revert back to your old system (Just in case)

Please Note that the first boot may take upto 10 minutes.

1) Download Melting Rocks.zip File
2) Put into External/Internal SD Card
3) Go to CMW Recovery
4) Wipe Data
5) Wipe Cache
6) Wipe System
7) Wipe Dalvik Cache
cool Select Install From SD (Internal or External)
9) Select Melting Rocks.zip and Select YES
10) In CWM select OK to flash

11) Reboot Your System
12) Enjoy

Download Here

Note: I Will Not Be Responsible For Any Brick or Any Problem.....So Flash At Your Own Risk.

Please Do not Update M! Unlock and even if you do and it's not working then please go to:

Settings>>>Apps>>>All>>>M! Unlock>>>Uninstall Updates.

BUGS
1. Throw function in walkman app force closes
2. ...

2. UI of LIFE (MIUI v5)

Read all about the rom here

Download this CWM image. : Download Only this one will work. Flash with Mobile Uncle (how? Google isn't your enemy)

Download Google Apps here for playstore and google accounts sync

Download UI of Life here

Just incase though, here is how to install:

BACKUP YOUR APPS AND DATA FIRST
download the rom and its specific recovery
download Mobileuncle Tool
put the specific recovery in the root of your sdcard
--open MobileUncle Tool
--tap recovery update
--select the specific recovery
--reboot into recovery
navigate to the downloaded miui rom
wipe factory reset
select and flash it!
your done! and be sure to enjoy your new rom!

Note this will wipe your phone first so please remember to backup. you can use titanium backup for that.

Note also: this rom is like nothing you are used to. Addiction to it is highly likely.

Note also also: this is a custom rom. its not 100% so if something is not working as it should just mention it and i will try to fix it.
Thank you and have a nice day.

Features:

Based on official Jaiyu JB 4.1.2
Phone: Full Screen Caller ID with Auto Record Options
Messaging: Smart Auto Recipient
Network Assistant
Anti-Spam Manager
Virus Scan
ROM Backup and Restore
Password Settings
Complete Autostart Control
Permission Manager
Inbuilt Theme Engine with Theme Manager
Guard Mode
MiCloud Service with 10GB!!
MiSpace
MiTransfer
MiDownload Manager
MiUpdater
MiMusic
Unique Flip Styled Statusbar [Transparent]
Do Not Disturb Mode
Fast and Slim Launcher
And more than 200+ Functions

Here are some tips:
MIUI has its on market which unfortunately isnt in english. please flash the google apps after flashing the rom so install playstore. Flash from cwm the same way you flashed the rom.

The rom doesnt need to be rooted so please dont attempt it. you should see a folder named system. inside an app named permisions. open it and and click on root. switch on enable permission manager and yhe phone is rooted. switch it off to unroot (dont see why you would want that anyway)

Playstore might give you an error and ask you to download via wifi for files larger than 1MB. to change that open the system folder and open the downloads app. press menu and select settings. change the limit from there. it helps you control the amount of mb playstore eats.

BUGS

Network 3G/2G Toggle doesn't work. you have to do it manually.

3. If you loved the Thunderous Nightmare Rom then you would love this even more.

[ROM] [4.2.2] Xperia Blast Custom Rom For Tecno A+ (Xperia C Features)

Android 4.2.2
Xperia C LockScreen (Slide up/down to unlock)
Dual Sim
CRT Lock Animation
Internal Storage & SD Card swapped
Xperia C Quick Toggles
Xperia C Launcher
Xperia C Dialer
Xperia C Contacts
Xperia C Alarm & Clock
Xperia Movies
Xperia Albums
Xperia Wallpapers
Xperia Walkman
Xperia Widgets
Xperia Sounds
Xperia Bootanimation
Xperia Fonts
Xperia Framework
Xperia Keyboard
Xperia Sketch App
Xperia Notes App
Downlaod Music Info
Xperia C SystemUI
Xperia C Settings
Xperia Album Share
Xperia Sound Enhancement
Xperia Calculator
Xperia Icons
Memory CleanUp
Adjust All Background Color to Album Art on Walkman
Music Control on Notification
Clear Bass
Clear Stereo
Dynamic Normalizer
xLoud
Surround Sound VPT
Walkman Music Widget
Walkman DLNA
Walkman More Stable
X-Reality Engine for Album & Movies
Photo & Video widget
Busybox
Performance Tweaks
Faster Streaming
Net Speed Tweaks
No Delay In Making Call
Deodexed & Zipaligned
Build.prop Tweaks
Init.d Scripts
Pre-Rooted

Added Swipe to wake : Launch Proximity actions > Screen off actions > 2Waves > Wake Up. Now to wake up the device wave twice over the proximity sensor instead of the power switch.

Other features in proximity actions: Swipe to answer call, Auto answer call when you put the phone to your ear, Wave to answer.......explore other options for yourself

Download Link: Download

Sony Boot Logo: Download

Note: After Installing the ROM and Patch, Launch the Keyboard Light Controller app > Check "Lock on bklight" > Check "Only when screen on"
Capacitive buttons patch: Download

How To Flash :
( You should take CMW Backup ncase you wish to revert back to your old system )

1) Download ROM File and Capacitive Light Patch
2) Put into External/Internal SD Card
3) Go To CMW Recovery
4) Wipe Data/Factory Reset And Wipe Partition
5) From Advance Menu Do Dalvik Cache Clear
6) From Advance Menu Do Battery State Clear
7) Go in Mount And Storage select FORMAT SYSTEM
cool Select Install From SD and Select Rom And Click YES
9) Select Install From SD and Select the Capacitive Light Patch And Click YES
9) Reboot Your System

After Reboot, Launch the Keyboard Light Controller app > Check "Lock on bklight" > Check "Only when screen on"

(Follow similar steps for TWRP)

What works:

All features.

1) Camera - Front & Rear
2) FM Radio - Speaker & Headset
3) Wi-Fi & Mobile Internet
4) Bluetooth
5) GPS
6) Walkman
7) Movies
cool X4 Video Player...............................etc

Features not available in this ROM:

No 3G in SIM-2

Credits:

Porting and Testing: Only Me.
Xtreme Booster: a developer from Xda

Bugs: None that I noticed. Please report ,,,,

Disclaimer :
I will not be responsible for any damages whatsoever to your device after flashing this ROM. Flash at your own risk.

for normal notification scroll down with one finger. For the alternate tabs scroll down from the top with two fingers. Try it, I think its fun

Version II is HERE

PLEASE CHECK EVERY WEEK FOR MORE UPDATES FOR THIS PHONE.

ROMS FOR OTHER TECNO PHONES COMING SOON

Unbricking Tecno A+ and A2

2013-09-25T08:32:00.001+01:00

UPDATE:: Video Tutorial here

Ok so you rooted and installed apps and somehow and someway you managed to brick your device...lets fix it.

FILES
First of all, here are the files you will need:

1. Stock rom for phantom A+: Here and for A2 Here

2. Specific flashtool that works on A+: Here

3. Drivers for the A+ and A2: Here (I would advice that you uninstall any previous drivers for any tecno you have installed as they might cause a conflict. here is a way to test if your drivers are working properly. with the phone off, open your computers device manager and plug the phone. you should see "mediatek preloader..." come up for about 5 seconds and disappear. if it shows with a yellow arrow on it then the drivers are not installed correctly. if it doesnt have the yellow arrow then you are good to go.)

DISCLAIMER: Follow THESE instructions and Download THESE files for TECNO PHANTOM A+ only. I will not be held for any mishap caused by instructions followed from somewhere else.

HOW TO FLASH:
1. now open the folder where u downloaded d files to (everything must be in d same folder o) and cut the scatter file out and paste it in anoda place (anywhere. just make sure its not in d same folder as the other files).
open sp flash tools and use d file tab to load DAT scatter file. remember to copy d cwm recovery and overwrite d recovery inside d folder

2. now it should show you a list of things to flash. untick everything except recovery, boot and system (that means only these 3 should be ticked o). now double click on d word recovery and select d cwm recovery you copied there. please make sure everything is in d same folder o.
do the same for the boot and system image u downloaded.

3. remove the bat3 from the bricked or unhappy A+. click download in sp flash tools and plug d bricked f7. flashing will begin and when it ends you should see a green circle. if it doesnt start den remove and plug again. if you try three times and it doesnt flash den u didnt install the drivers correctly.

4.if you see the green circle then congrats you have successfully flashed your phone. now please first things first, after you finish patting yourself on the back about what a wonderful guru you are. put off the phone and wait for it to vibrate. the hold the volume up button and press and hold the power button until it shows you three options. use the volume button to navigate to recovery mode and use the volume down button to select it. cwm should boot. now please backup your phone.

thank you guys...its been a pleasure.

If You have any questions, place a comment here.

TECNO: An Unexpected Journey

2013-08-28T13:51:00.001+01:00

My dear friend gave me a call late last year and asked me if I had heard of Tecno. He went on to describe what, then, I could only describe as impossible. Tecno wey we know? Trademarked and dubbed as chinko? Haba na! But I listened and as I did my curiosity was piqued. Here was a smartphone with an even smarter price tag. There had to be a catch...I mean, na tecno na. I was using a Blackberry device back then and was really looking for a change, all the while considering a move to the android team. I ran the idea past a few of my colleagues just to get a feel of the general mood to what I had just discovered and boy did I get a mood. One even went as far as telling me "Surely you of all people can't be that stupid". That ended it for me. Tecno was joining the android bandwagon but not one anyone with his right mind would consider jumping onto.

A few months later I got an android phone...no...not Tecno. I got a Sony Xperia Go, a budget dual-core smartphone which was really a beautiful device and a welcome experience after the fading giant that used to be blackberry. By this time I had seen the Tecno N3 and I must confess that I was impressed by the effort. The final product might have been dated but seeing that brand name on a device powered by the android OS was just ground-breaking. In the months that followed, the name grew. More people discovered the potential was a lot bigger than the price and like sharks sensing a wounded person in the sea, they rushed at it.

Today, there are a lot of android devices carrying the ~~mark of the bea~~...I mean brand. What seemed to be a joke has turned into one of the biggest brand revolution since perhaps even OMO or GALA or maybe even INDOMIE. It's everywhere. Used by every class. I can say this because I have set this phones up for different people in places as reputable as NNPC.

The brand has faced serious criticism and has fortunately continued to thrive amidst it all. The pros far outweigh the cons and that can be seen by the sudden rise of other "chinko" brands boasting the same specs in different designs. Like I said earlier, it has its cons and critics will be the first to point out that it runs on ~~an inferior~~ a budget-saving chipset and doesn't churn out the same performance/benchmark scores as that of the recognised brands. I've even heard someone claim that the Tecno brands expose people to a dangerous amount of radiation because of it's low standard of production. This last point however is untrue and in respect to the former argument, i have this to say; if it meets your needs there is no reason to go for a more expensive option with features you don't need.

This is not saying that the Tecno brand is better than the bigger and more recognised brands...they are, afterall, recognised for a reason. This is just to acknowledge a brand that has put smiles on the faces of a lot of nigerians in less than a year and that is something no other brand, recognised or not, has been able to do in that same window.

Tecno: Be smart. Be yourself.

Be yourself

2013-02-07T09:24:00.001+01:00

I see a lot of write ups giving tips and guidelines...even advice...on how best to handle a relationships. Most are great and really make logical sense. Usually, somewhere in the feedback you notice a particular line that always manages to creep in: BE YOURSELF.
Its probably the most common advice and also the hardest to practice.
I'm not really a fan of hypocrisy and practising what you preach requires so much dedication, tenacity and discipline its almost an art. Now if you've been in a relationship that failed, you've probably realized that it takes the GRACE of GOD to make it work and if you are in your first relationship then you better write this down. Grace aside, BEING YOURSELF being our focus, it strikes me as odd the way people interpret this statement. You're a jerk and you treat women like crap and you want to BE YOURSELF? All you see men as are means to an end and so you provide your body as barter and you want to BE YOURSELF? No one is born bad. But the choices we've made have shaped us into the people we are today. A wise man once told me "everybody changes and in that we all are the same". If choices make the person, what then does it mean to BE YOURSELF? We go out of our way to impress people we believe we can get something from. We dress our best to get that dream job. We adjust our tone when we finally get to meet the president...ask yourself why? I think...and also believe there exist a better explanation...that we innately want to be perceived as good and so we sometimes mask our true selves to create a better impression of ourselves. I also think if you can pretend to be good then it is also possible to BE good. Now if your choices make you then why not choose to be good so when you choose to BE YOURSELF it will be good? I started with relationships because I think we all can relate to that. However this idea is not limited to relationships alone. I believe anyone can change save the devil. I believe it starts with a choice. So now I ask, if you do choose to BE YOURSELF, who will you be?

Pleasing A Man/Woman

2012-08-06T17:44:00.000+01:00

A friend of mine sent this to me this morning. the original message is filled with smileys. Ignore any character you don't understand.

Yes Men Are Impossible to please: If he calls you and your phone is off, he thinks you’re cheating…. then he sends an sms saying “don’t tell me the battery story coz I know that line:s” If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are TOO IN LOVE, moving too fast:$ ; If u Don't, he says u are PROUD;;) .If u DRESS NICELY, he says u are trying to LURE other men;If u DON'T, he says u are RURAL8-|. If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN, too manly:O; If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS, a walkover/:); If u are SMARTER than him, you’re a SHOW-OFF; If he's SMARTER than u, he is GREAT:p. If u don't LOVE him, he tries to POSSESS u:&; If u LOVE him, He takes you FOR GRANTED:(. (very true huh?)If u don't MAKE LOVE to him, he says u DON'T LOVE him>:); If u DO, he says u are CHEAP:>... If u tell him your PROBLEMS , he says u are TROUBLE8-|; If u DON'T, he says u don't TRUST him=)). If u SCOLD him, u are treating him like a CHILD=D; If he SCOLDS u, it’s because he CARES for u. (pleaiiiiiiz>:/ )X_X If u BREAK your promise, u cannot be TRUSTED:); If he BREAKS his, it is circumstances beyond his CONTROL.(yea rite!?)>:). If u SMOKE, u are a BAD girl:/; If he SMOKES, he is being a GENTLEMAN*nerd*. If u do WELL in your career, it's LUCK=D ; If he does WELL, it’s definitely BRAINS:$. (Nt luck????)If u HURT him, u are CRUEL=D; If he HURTS you, you are too SENSITIVE8-| !! HOW ARE WOMEN SUPPOSED TO GET IT RIGHT8-|:/ :) ????????If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.....The moral of the story is.......SEND THIS TO GUYS OUT THERE ANYWAY ....Send it to girls also, make them feel good, coz its freaking true.

Well here is my reply:

Women are also IMPOSSIBLE to please...I mean how do you please someone who wants to have FUN and also RUN THE WORLD? Anyway let's see what we have:

If she calls you and you don't pick, she'll assume there is someone else and for every explanation you give she'll ask you to stop lying to her.
If you treat her like a queen she'll tell her friends you are a MAGA, if you don't then you simply don't care!!
If you dress nicely you are definitely a PLAYER and if you don't then you're to SHABBY for her TASTE
If you argue with her, she'll say you don't UNDERSTAND and if you don't she'll call you a FOOL
...nd yes, if you're smarter than her you are really a SHOW-OFF but if she is smarter you'll get the "what a man can do..." speech.
If you don't love her, she'll stalk you and if you do she'll hurt you.
If you don't make love to her (yes!! Guys can say no!!) there is another person giving you. If you do she'll say you're only after her body.
If you tell her your problems you're simply not a MAN and if you don't, you see her as simply useless.
If you scold her she'll remind you that you're not her father and she scolds you its really for your own good after all she is "always right"
If you break your promise...well it goes both ways...you can't be trusted. If she does...and this is a classic...YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND!!
Well I don't condone smoking for anybody so...
If you excel in you career she'll say "behind every successful man". If she does, it all goes down to her hard work and dedication.
If you hurt her, all guys are the same. If she hurts you, it wasn't her intention.
Trying to please a woman? You'll have better luck making stone cry.
Girls won't broadcast because its true...guys, you know what to do.

I Pray For You

2012-08-02T07:32:00.001+01:00

Haven't been in church since

I don't remember when

Things were going great

Til they fell apart again

So I listened to the preacher

As he told me what to do

Said you cant go hating others

who've done wrong to you

Sometimes we get angry

But we must not condemn

Let the good Lord do his job

And you just pray for them

Really glad I found my way to church

Cause I'm already feeling better

and I thank God for the words

So I'm gonna take the high road

And do what the preacher told me to do

You keep messing up

And I'll keep praying for you

I pray your tire blows out at 110

I pray you pass out drunk with your best friend

And wake up with horrible tattoos

And the more i think about it,

I pray your brakes go out

Running down a hill

I pray a flower pot falls

From a window sill

And knocks you in the head like I'd like to

I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls

I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls

I pray all your dreams never come true

Just know wherever you are

near or far, in your house or in your car

Wherever you are honey, I pray for you.

Now That You Have a Car

2012-07-30T18:25:00.001+01:00

You have crossed that awkward, deeply uncomfortable, sometimes shameful social state of being without a car. I mean in some countries where the public transport system works, not having a car is no big deal. But you are in Nigeria, where public transport is living hell, and owning a car can be the difference between life and social death.

You had suffered the humiliation and attendant frustrations. You swore to yourself, after the girl you came to a party with left in an air conditioned car, that things must change. The Nigerian god felt your pain, heard your cries of affliction and consequently, after much tithing and prayers, blessed your hustle. Enough to buy your own car. I rejoice with you.

You have taken the car to the man of God and they have spent over an hour with the bonnet open, anointing your car and protecting it against the spirit of accidents that those jealous neighbours and village enemies are sure to send your way. That is fine. But you also need my advice.

Your car is not beautiful unless you have covered it in stickers. Get one from your church or fellowship that declares this year to be your “year of anointing”, or your “year of unsurpassed success”. If your wife or husband goes to a different church, get one from hers too. You can never get too many. Get one sticker that declares your child to be a Star Student. Let those with dull children see it and regret that their wives didn’t take enough vitamins during pregnancy. Because of Police on the road, get either an NBA sticker or an ARMY sticker. You don’t have to be a lawyer or soldier to get them. Especially the NBA one – you can find that one in any court premises for one or two hundred naira.

Depending on how much God has blessed your hustle, get a customised plate number with your name or nickname, such as TONY01; DE DON 01; DADDY K. The ‘01’ is useful even if you have only one car. It just shows how much you have faith that more will come. Otherwise, depending on your level of gratitude to God, you can use a nice Bible verse, like ISAIAH43:4 or something like that.

Now that you are a car owner, you need to realise that your status has changed. You need to treat pedestrians with the disdain they deserve. It doesn’t matter that you were once a pedestrian crossing these same streets. You must never think like a pedestrian and do silly things like observing Zebra crossings. Those white lines are there to beautify the road. Speed across them and curse anyone who tries to get in your way.

Your neighbours need to feel your presence. They need to see just how your hustle has been blessed. Every morning, remind them by ‘warming’ your car. This process involves waking up at 6 a.m. and revving your car engine loudly until the neighbours wake up to the evidence of your blessed hustle.

You bought the car with your hard-earned cash. And that includes the car horns. Those who call your right to honk noise pollution, God will judge them appropriately and truncate their hustle. In fact, if you ask me, because of how important it is, your right to use your horn indiscriminately should be a constitutionally guaranteed right. Honk in the morning when your wife is wasting your time inside and you need her to hurry up. Honk when you see your neighbours. Honk in a traffic jam even though you are sure this will not make the cars miraculously move. Honk instead of slowing down when you are approaching a junction or intersection. Honk when you are angry. And when you are happy. There are few things as useful in a car as the horn.

At night, it is important that you see the road clearly. Nigerian roads are dark and dangerous, so you must use your full lights at all times. It doesn’t matter if you are blinding oncoming vehicles. Is it your fault that the government is not doing their job?

Other things you will learn on the job as a car owner include how to double park, how to drive against traffic on the highway, how to create multiple lanes in a traffic jam, how to beat traffic lights, how to stop in the middle of the road to say hello to a long lost friend, how to litter the street with wrappers of plantain chips bought in a hold-up, all of which every true and experienced Nigerian driver is adept at doing. I trust you will catch up quickly.

Once again I rejoice with you and may God keep blessing your hustle.

The Blackberry Smartphone and "Others"

2012-07-26T02:38:00.002+01:00

Someone on nairaland recently posted something that made my eyebrows climb as far as my annoyingly receding hairline. Ok the hairline isn’t that bad and – hey!! Stop staring!! Anyway, this interesting post was titled: Weak Points Of Blackberry Phones. Here is the link just in case you want to check it out: http://www.nairaland.com/998154/weak-points-blackberry-phones

The whole idea behind this post was an-allow me to call it sad-attempt to once again ignorantly bad-mouth the blackberry smartphone. Niiggas (people) fear what they don’t understand-Nas (rapper).

One glaringly appalling statement he made was and I quote: “THERE IS NO OTHER THING THAT BLACKBERRY IS PARTICULARLY GOOD FOR, APART FROM BLACKBERRY MESSENGER.”

I cannot begin to emphasize how WRONG this statement is and for the simple fact that it was made leaves me wondering about every degree of knowledge this person holds.

First of all let me just say that I’m not picking sides but let me also say if I did have to choose, I would go for….amebo!!

Now the blackberry smartphone is JUST like every other smartphone. What makes a phone smart? Apart from the fact that it’s more interesting than a lot of people I know ba? Well a smartphone is a device that lets you make telephone calls, but also adds in features that, in the past, you would have found only on a personal digital assistant or a computer--such as the ability to send and receive e-mail and edit Office documents, for example. Did you notice I said nothing about PINGING?

So let’s see…can the blackberry do these? HYFR!! (If you don’t know what this means then you probably shouldn’t ask). So the question arises: apart from PINGING (yep, I’ll keep typing in uppercase…na my keypad), is there really any advantage to having a BB? (Apart from the obvious effisi points it gives ba?). Well the answer is simply YES….and no. confused? (untohhhh *sticks tongue out*)

Ok ok, I’m being serious here (which, for those who know me, is the only way I am) the advantage of the blackberry-and believe me, in Nigeria its only one-is…..wait for it……….UNLIMITED DATA!!!

Think about it, if we put a data cap on BB plans what do we get? In other news, I’ll leave you to answer that. Now that advantage aside, why a BB?

In that post I mentioned above, one of the poster’s argument (there is a strong urge to write poser instead) was the fact that you couldn’t do anything without an active BIS subscription. As we say on twitter, #FAIL!!! Mobipocket is an application that allows you view portable documents on your BB and it doesn’t need BIS. Documents to Go is another. I don’t remember needing to have an active subscription to play media files or even games. When you think about it, what is it you can do with an android that doesn’t have an internet plan that you can’t do with a BISless BB?

Next argument is the battery life. One question: have you used either an iPhone or an android or even a symbian for a whole day with it constantly connected to the internet running more than three applications simultaneously? Remember all liars shall repent and go to heaven. The battery life of a BB is GREAT(unless na UK used). Power consumption is a very relative benchmark especially when you want to measure cross-platform so we won’t go there. Let me however mention that if your android or iPhone was doing the same work under the hood with an uninterrupted data connection, your battery life would last as long as a kardashian marriage. I won’t even talk about the boot time…if you have to ask, then you don’t need to know.

However, BB isn’t all glitz and glamour. It has its perks. Frankly, there are a lot of them. The first being the fact that compared to other smartphones, it is over-priced. The LG Optimus-One goes for about 30k(in naira) and has almost the same hardware specs as the BB Curve 5 (9380) which goes for double the amount.

The second perk is flexibility. The blackberry platform doesn’t have as many applications as its counterparts. In fact, compared to the likes of androids and iPhones, the BB doesn’t even bring a challenge. You stand to have more options in terms of applications if you’re on any band wagon save #teamBB.

The third perk is a bit technical. Most BB’s (not all) don’t have built in flash support. Flash is basically a feature that makes browsing the web a lot easier. Why it isn’t there? Me ma I no know.

Let me just slide this in: am I the only person that is wondering when they'll make a camera better than 5MP? even the Porsche na 5MP...haba!!

And finally, and I bite my tongue saying this, the most irritating perk is the BIS subscription. While you can do some stuff without it, every application that requires data from the internet is pretty much useless without it. That is a serious deal breaker as I would love to be able to use my last N17 to post on facebook that my BIS has expired.

The point I’m trying to make is this: I STILL HAVEN’T SAID ANYTHING ABOUT PINGING!!!

There is a whole lot more to BB than its messenger (wey I no fit even send go market)

Thank you for your time. Now lemme PING small

PING!!

P.S please encourage a broda na...leave the comments so i'd know what you think. thanks.

A List of Things I Hate

2012-07-23T11:05:00.000+01:00

I hate generators. They want fuel, we give them fuel. Then they say they want oil so we give them oil. Next thing you know, they break down after an hour and refuse to start up again. What is it this time, they say the don't know. So we call Dr. Mechanic and he comes and says we have to take generator to his hospital at workshop avenue. Hmmm...so generator comes back and everything is good for about two days. Today we put on generator and it comes on at one pull(not the usual till thy arms are about to fall off) and we are smiling. Alas when we change over all we can hear is the sound of all the bulbs in the house exploding. Damn!! Foolishly we run into the house to save broken bulbs instead of switching the damn thing off. Boom goes the TV. Bammm goes the fridge. Blaoowww goes the air condition and downnnnnn goes the fan and while i am writing this, ping goes my phone battery....
What was i saying? Oh, yes, I really hate generators. But i hate nepa even more.

I hate nepa but they don't know it so i thought i should tell them. You are probably wondering why i am writing instead of marching into thier office and just saying whats on my mind. The thing is i am a little held back right now...in prison. What did i do? Well i tried to tell nepa how i felt about them is what. You see i picked up my phone and tried to call but i couldn't get a good connection and so my dislike for MTN grew. I went to a mast near my house and climbed it so as to get a good connection. At this point let me just mention that i think all masts are the same so dont blame me if i didnt know it belonged to visafone. Anyway some policeman shouts at me to get down and i try to explain but he cant hear me. I wave my hands to try to get my point across but lose my balance in the process. Isnt it just my luck that my phone slips and luckily falls on his head instead of the ground? Well he didnt seem to see it that way. I need the phone ofcourse so i climb back down to retrieve it and he promptly places me in cuffs. Now i'm pretty sure i could have wriggled my way out of that but the visafone technicians chose to show up just then. Turns out they had an interferance and needed to check it out. Would you belive that dumb policeman looked at me with a raised eyebrow? Did i mention i hate the police and its not because i am black? Anyway so i tried to explain how i hate nepa but they got angry when i mentioned the mast. Fine, i suggested...smart me...that they should call MTN. I am thier customer afterall, they should look after me. So we dialed 180 and waited for over 30mins. Naturally we got bored so we called ETISALAT. Would you belive those arabs actually picked? And i cant get a good connection with MTN? Anyway all of a sudden climbing masts became an offence somewhere in the constitution and an etibaba lawyer confirmed it.
So please don't climb masts and please help me give nepa this message: I HATE YOU....Please bring the light.
And i am begining to Hate MTN too.
But right now, I REALLY HATE THE POLICE!!