cozy contemporary

the black plague, part III: front door

2015-03-17T19:33:00.000-05:00

Now the black plague has moved to the front door. While I think the "rustic" and "distressed" look has its place, I don't think it should be in the form of sun-faded, scratched up wood. Here is our door before:

You can see how half of the door is faded from the half-window storm door we had on before. Now that we have a full glass storm door, the faded area is really noticeable.

We added the new door handle a while ago for multiple reasons. First of all, the original one was still on it and I guarantee there are some spare keys floating around out there. Second, I wanted a stronger lock as opposed to the kind that you push in and turn to lock it. And third, the old one was ugly and this is fabulous!

Now the front door with the new storm door on it:

We removed the front door to start the sanding process. Since the door will be exposed to a lot of sun, we wanted to make sure we had a good surface for the paint to stick to so it wouldn't peel easily.

We even took off the threshold and other brass looking things and painted them.

I spray painted all the brass stuff a chrome/platinum color.

We also decided it was time to do something with these very outdated porch lights. I'm pretty sure they are the original ones with the house. Instead of spending $400 on the lights that I've found online, I decided to just take a can of spray paint to them. That and a good washing.

After I washed off the cob webs and mud daubers nests, I was surprised at how well they've held up over the years.

I spray painted them the same color as the threshold and hardware for the door.

Pretty amazing, huh? All for about $8 in spray paint.

Ehren finished sanding the front door - it took quite a while as it was pretty weathered and rough.

I painted it with an exterior paint.

I did 3 coats to get good coverage and then let it dry for several days.

And while we were painting, sanding, and spraying, Cozy was… well… being a lazy dog.

We added the spray painted hardware. Doesn't it look better than 70s brass?

Then we finally got to hang the door!

And our brushed nickel door handle looks much better against black compared to old, weathered wood.

And when you look at the freshly painted front door along with the "new" porch lights, it makes quite an impact! It brought the house to the current decade and we couldn't be happier!

As a housewarming gift, my Grandma McCauley gave us something to put on our front door, made all the way in Ireland.

It says "Cead Mile Failte" which is an Irish expression that means "100,000 Welcomes". It basically means you are really, really welcome here.

And with that final touch, I think we'll call this project done! A front door face lift that only required painting. It's amazing what a can of paint can accomplish!

Cozy was just excited to have the attention back on him.

all about mac: 7 months

2014-12-02T17:41:00.000-06:00

Weight:   18+ pounds
Height: 26+"
Health: Back to her healthy little self after a short head cold that really didn't amount to anything. However, she did develop her first diaper rash. I'm assuming this is connected to her eating solid foods and her little butt isn't quite used to that yet.
Nicknames:  Miss Mac, peanut, Macadoodle, kid, Mackey, doodle, squeaky, little lamb
Teething: Still no teeth yet.
Clothing:  Wearing 9 month size in Carter's and 6-12 months in Gap.
Diapers: Cloth diapering is still going well but we had to switch to disposables for a short time so we could get a handle on her diaper rash. You can't use Butt Paste or really any other barrier creams with cloth diapers so our washing machine got a break for a week or two. All I have to say about disposables is HOLY BLOW OUTS! We raaaarely got blow outs with the cloth diapers… poop would go up to the top but usually not venture out. Disposables on the other hand? Blow out every time. Multiple outfits a day. So frustrating. Let's just say we were happy to go back to cloth. Eating:  She's eating solid foods once a day in the evening. She is beginning to like it! She's had carrots, sweet potatoes, peas, spinach, pumpkin, banana, avacado Sleeping (night):  She is sleeping very well. We have our routine: feed solid meal, bath time, bottle, read a book, lay her down, give her her binkie, kiss her and say goodnight! Then we walk out of the room and she falls asleep. Pretty impressive, in my opinion. Part of it is that she is a really good baby/sleeper. The other part is that we worked really hard to get her to this point. We did sleep training in the beginning and then we worked on getting her to fall asleep on her own in her crib. We would rock her until she was very sleepy, then lay her in the crib where she would fuss a little bit, then we would bounce the mattress or pat her until she worked herself to sleep. It got to the point where she would fall asleep on her own, without bouncing, patting, or rocking! She occasionally wakes up in the night but we just ~~ignore her~~ let her work it out and she goes back to sleep. Don't get me wrong, I still rock her and sing to her and hold her, but she's become an independent sleeper and we're thankful for that.
Sleeping (naps): Still sticking to her 45 minute naps but I'd rather a short napper than a short overnight sleeper.
Social: She still stares people down when she first meets them, but other than that, she's very social. She definitely recognizes people she knows when they come over and that's adorable.
Likes:  Going on walks, sitting on the front porch swing, Cozy, putting toys in her mouth, grabbing our faces, talking and looking at me while I nurse her, reading books, singing, sitting up, rolling all over the place, being tickled.
She loves music and dancing! If there is music on, someone starts clapping to a beat, one of us starts singing or beatboxing (Ehren), she starts dancing. She will stop what she's doing to dance. It's pretty adorable. Dislikes: Waiting for milk to let down, waiting for food to come to her high chair.
New this month: Hitting things against her head, dancing, said "mama" on October 18th, resting her head on her Violet toy and us, sleeps on her tummy now, she has started pushing up to quadruped (all fours) and even started rocking, got her first diaper rash. Fun things we did:

Had a playdate with 7 kids while the dads went on an overnight canoeing trip
Went to Books and Babies at the Lawrence Public Library
Watched a lot of Royals games! Ehren and McCauley (both born in April) are the exact same age as when the Royals went to the World Series in 1985
Homecoming weekend for Ehren's college buddies
First trip to Ikea with my cousins (from Nebraska) and my cousin's little girl
Mommy ran in her first 5K ever!
2nd Annual Mother/Daughters weekend
Schaake's Pumpkin Patch
First Halloween
Mom and Dad had a weekend away in Tulsa for a wedding and grandma babysat!

Mom: Well, my 5k training didn't get too far. The farthest I ran was 2 miles due to my little one waking up from her short naps (and lack of energy when dad gets home from work). Before the race, I hadn't ran in about a year and a half. My goal went from being sub-30 minutes to just running and not walking during the 3+ miles. And that's what I did! I ran the whole time and finished in 31 minutes. Slower than a turtle but not bad considering my poor training and not being a "runner". The most empowering part of it? Nursing McCauley before the race and afterwards. I had this vision of feeding her before and after a long time ago and I'm proud of myself for accomplishing it!

Dad: Ehren ran the race as well, however he sprained his ankle pretty bad two days before the 5k. Even with a sprained ankle, he beat me.

My old college and grad school roomie got married in Tulsa and it was a great excuse for Ehren and I to have our first night away from Mac. It was seriously the best. The car ride down was fun for talking, the wedding and reception was awesome and then we got to sleep without being disturbed or threat of being disturbed. We also gained an extra hour of sleep with daylight saving and had the most satisfying breakfast I've ever had. We were so thankful for time alone without distraction. However, we still fell asleep before we should have and talked about Mac a majority of the time. #parents

What we are looking forward to: Everything. This age is so much fun and everyday is different.

This month in pictures:

Her new favorite place is her daddy's shoulders... where she uses his hair as her reins. And occasionally chews on it.

McCauley + food at high chair = Cozy looking for crumbs.

McCauley and her new friend Jace. He loooved her.

Campsite off the Kansas River for the guys.

Feed me.

Mother/daughter pics are the sweetest.

Breakfast at Milton's with mom, dad, and Derek.

Ahh, the days when she would continue her short naps with me in bed. A great excuse for me to catch a snooze.

Ehren met us at Books and Babies after he got off work.

The guys came back from the bars as I came back from my sister's house. Greg and Derek were supporting Ehren as he held Mac.

Baby cousins born 4 months apart.

McCauley loves IKEA!

Her excitement got the best of her.. time for a nap.

Harper and McCauley playing with the new toy.

My other fur baby.

I'm smiling even though shots are coming my way!

She is very modest when she nurses. "No pictures, please".

No, Mac, that's not how you use it.

Um, please stop growing up.

There are no words for these next three pictures.

My little sous chef. Hopefully she will love to cook like the three generations before her.

Royals are World Series bound!

Flashback to 1985 when I was at the World Series Victory Parade with my parents.

McCauley's ready to run in the 5k! Look at those legs... totally runner's legs.

My favorite thing to do is spy on Ehren and Mac via video monitor while he reads her bedtime stories. I mean, how precious is this?

Ready to run!

Mac and her babysitter, aka grandma.

Post race smiles.

Mother/daughter selfie. I love my little training buddy.

Cheers! Don't spill any beer on the baby.

First swing in the park behind our house.

Besides our wedding day kiss, this is the second sweetest kiss ever recorded in photo.

This reminds me I should finish my nursery blog post...

Dinner at Merchant's on our Mother/Daughters weekend. Last year I was about 14 weeks pregnant!

Hey there, sweet cheeks.

Sup?

Hello.

Gotta hydrate. And yes, she really does drink water out of this.

Time to stuff diapers!

Pumpkin Patch!

Her face is just so darn cute in this picture.

Pumpkin skins... organic and tasty.

Pretty sure we all knew this was coming...

Here is our little lamb. I hot glued cotton balls to a onesie... like hundreds of them.

We went downtown where all the trick-or-treaters were. She was not amused. She also plucked half of the cotton balls off in about 1 hour.

Ahhh, our night away.

My old roomie, Addie, is a dentist. Of course there was floss and toothpaste in the goodie bags at the hotel! So cute and thoughtful.

Best. Breakfast. Ever. Was it anything special? No, it was just First Watch, but we pretty much ordered half of the menu. Omelet. Biscuits and gravy. Pancakes. Potatoes. Toast. Coffee. Etc.

We stopped through Coffeyville on our way back to Lawrence. I went to school there my first two years of college. We had to find a house I lived in at one time. I don't even remember those trees being there and there definitely wasn't aisle 7 of Toys R Us in the front yard. I think I paid $100 a month for rent... ?!

Front porch swing snuggles.

I love when she plays with my ring and I can't wait to tell her the story of how it got on my finger someday!

This is what I have to do when peanut wakes up and I barely get through my workout. Set her on the bathroom floor, give her some toiletries (ya know, mascara, sample shampoos, tampons, etc.) and shower as fast as I can. If she starts to get upset, I start singing "The Star Spangled Banner". It's her favorite song.

My friend Beth came over with two of her girls. Little Lucy (almost a year and a half old) wanted to hold "the baby".... who weighs about 3 pounds less than her. Priceless.

So cute.

Ehren's parents came to town and we went to lunch at Merchant's. She was fussy, not wanting to nurse (which is weird) so I decided that I would just start giving her some of my polenta. She LOVED it. Leaning in, moaning, and grabbing for it. Our waitress even brought out another piece just for her. Girlfriend's got good taste and I'm all about her eating what we eat.

Happy 7 months to this little beauty!

all about mac: 6 months

2014-11-04T16:59:00.001-06:00

Weight: 17+ pounds
Height: 25+"
Health: She got her first cold which wasn't horrible. She never really acted sick but her eyes watered and her nose was very stuffy and runny. Thank goodness for the Nose Frieda! There's no way one of those hospital snot suckers could have handled that mucus-y mess.
Nicknames: Miss Mac, peanut, Macadoodle, kid, Mackey, sweet thang, baby cakes, little one, chunky monkey
Teething: No teeth in sight.
Clothing: Definitely on the 6 month end of some of her 3-6 month clothes. Also wearing 9 month old clothes as well, especially her sleepers. She is a growing girl!
Diapers: Cloth diapering is still going well. We got a diaper sprayer that we attached to the toilet so we can spray the diapers off.
Eating: Still nursing like a champ! She's eating a lot more at daycare and when my parents watch her. Luckily my supply has been able to keep up with her demand. We started solid food the night of her 6 month birthday. Can you tell I'm a rule follower? Sleeping (night): She is still sleeping from 7:30/8:00 to 7:00. Occasionally she wakes up in the early hours which disrupts our last couple of hours of sleep but we really can't complain. She's a good night time sleeper!
Sleeping (naps): Sleeping during the day? Not really her strong suit. But since she's sleeping so well at night, it's not that big of a deal. She still only sleeps about 45 minutes at a time for me. On my days off, I try and get as much done as I can in those 45 minutes - like train for my 5k in my basement, clean, do laundry, stuff diapers, or try and take a nap myself. Sometimes if she wakes up at the 45 minute mark I can bring her into bed with me and cuddle with her and then she'll sleep another hour or so. That's one of my favorite moments!
Social: She's our social butterfly. Partly because we've taken her out and about from the very beginning. She's become a rather chill baby and tolerates shopping and running errands. I'll take it!
Likes: Going on walks, sitting on the front porch swing, Cozy, putting toys in her mouth, grabbing our faces, talking and looking at me while I nurse her, reading books, singing, sitting up, rolling all over the place, being tickled. Dislikes: Falling backwards when she's sitting up, nap time sometimes.
New this month: Sitting up consistently, rolled over from back to tummy at the KU football game... on the floor of the bleachers, smiling and laughing much more, jumping violently in her exersaucer.
Fun things we did:

First KU football game
First KU volleyball game
Trip to Grandma and Grandpa Shirley's
Visited Great Uncle Dale's flowers
Sat in her high chair for the first time
Took a bath in the kitchen sink

Mom: Still attempting to train for my 5k. It's a little hard to do when Mac wakes up from her nap after 45 minutes. She always seems to wake up when I'm on my last lap.. I guess that's motivation to run faster?

I'm having a hard time, emotionally, with starting solid foods. I know that sounds ridiculous but when she's solely eaten food from me and only me, it makes me a little sad. I realize she's not going to be eating 3 square meals a day and never nurse again, but it means she is growing up! I've fed her little body with my body for a solid 6 months so I will be thankful for that.

Dad: Mac looooves her daddy. She gets so excited when he walks into the house after work. She smiles, grunts, laughs, bounces, and shows off her dimples when he comes in through that door. It makes me happy that she shows so much affection for Ehren when I know that dads can sometimes get the short end of the stick when it comes to babies. He smiles almost as big as her in these instances and it makes my heart happy.

What we are looking forward to: Watching her try solid foods, sitting up more, more laughs and squeals and noises.

This month in pictures:

One of the benefits of working in a hospital is getting to use the hospital-grade breast pumps. They are fantastic and so productive... literally. For you pumpers out there: sometimes I have two let downs in a pumping session! Anyway, I can't help but notice the panicked face I see every time I go to pump. Do you see it?

Well hi there!

My name is Mac and sometimes I like to spoon the coffee table.

And sometimes I like to eat my (clean) diapers.

And I also like to help with shampooing the carpets.

She is ready for her first KU football game!

I appreciate her ability to nap almost anywhere if she's tired enough and full enough.

Game day with cousin Cameron.

And with cousin Ellie.

Hail to old KU.

She had a lot of fun with the retractable KU banner. She would pull it then release it and laugh.

We scored so obviously Ehren "waved the wheat" with our baby.

Look! I'm starting to sit up!

Slippery baby after a bath.

Sleepy baby after a bath.

I love our afternoon naps together. I love how she sleeps longer and harder when she's in my arms.

First KU volleyball game!

I seriously don't know how she slept as loud as it was in there.

McCauley sitting in the family high chair at my grandma's house. My aunts, uncle, and mom as well as all my cousins, sat in this high chair. Now the great grandkids are sitting in it.

Cousin Holland making sure she's in her car seat properly.

At Uncle Dale's house.

Oh, you know, just 9,000 gladiolas that my uncle planted in the middle of a cornfield.

Great Grandpa Loyal Shirley.

Miss Mac and Uncle Dale. I used to want to marry him when I was little.

We got a chair to hook on our counter top. Best purchase ever! She sits there and plays while we cook or get ready for work in the morning. She's going to be my little chef.

Game day with her new cousin Lucy!

Tailgates aren't complete without a photo booth!

We went on a walk at the dog park and I carried her in my Ergobaby. I'm really hoping this is sweat and slobber and not urine.

We went to Books and Babies at the Lawrence Public Library for the first time and she had so much fun! Meaning she sat there, paid attention, and didn't cry.

Sup?

Sitting with a pumpking at grandma's house. She started licking it 12 seconds later.

Nap time at the tailgate.

Despite having a little cold, she was pretty happy.

And daddy kisses make everything better.

And so do mommy cuddles.

First bath in the kitchen sink!

We got a video monitor so we can spy on our little peanut. It's so funny to see how she sleeps!

When I'm at work, one of my favorite parts of the day is getting a picture from our babysitter, Emma. Asa and Mac are talking about their lives together.

Giggles with grandpa.

First time sitting in her new high chair! It's a Stokke Tripp Trapp and we love it so far.

How's this for solid food? Fake lemons and limes.

Half a year already?!

all about mac: 5 months

2014-09-26T17:19:00.001-05:00

Weight: 17+ pounds
Height: 25+"
Health: Still a happy and healthy little baby.
Nicknames: Miss Mac, peanut, Macadoodle, kid, Mackey, sweet thang, baby cakes
Teething: No teeth in sight.
Clothing: She seems to be nearing the end of the 3-6 month clothes.. especially the pants. Trying to get her into her skinny jeans reminds me of myself trying to get into my old skinny jeans... :*(
Diapers: We don't know any different now. Washing them every other day has just become part of our routine and it's no big deal. However, when she starts eating in a month and we have to spray off the poop, it won't be as easy. Good thing every diaper isn't a poopy one!
Eating: Eating continues to be one of her strong suits.. just like me. Breastfeeding is so convenient and not messy that I'm almost not looking forward to her starting solid food at 6 months. It makes me sad that she won't be solely dependent on ME for her food. Sleeping (night): Doing very well. We've started putting her down much earlier - like 7:30-8:00. It's so nice because Ehren and I actually have an evening together! We do a dream feed at around 10:30 or so (where you feed her in her sleep to prolong sleep and reduce hunger during the night) and she will sleep until 6:30-7:00. We tend to play the binkie game some nights from 4-6 which is really annoying. We're going to quit that habit real quick!
Sleeping (naps): You can set a timer for 45 minutes and count on her waking up at that exact time. I'd rather her take short naps but sleep 11-12 hours a night than the other way around. It's kind of nice because I can plan better knowing how long she typically sleeps. It also gets my butt in gear for a work out when I know I only have a set amount of time before she wakes up.
Social: This girl doesn't know a stranger. She'll go to anyone and be content. However, she has started to prefer mom (hooray!) at times. Sometimes she gets fussy and continues to be upset even after she's fed, diaper changed, not tired and the only thing that fixes it is handing her off to me.
Likes: Going on walks, tummy time, sitting outside, Cozy, putting toys in her mouth, grabbing our faces, talking and looking at me while I nurse her, reading books, singing, Sophie the giraffe. Dislikes: Waiting for my milk to let down when she starts nursing - I think she inherited my impatience, unfortunately.
New this month: Lots more social smiling, especially when she recognizes people. Sitting up for short periods of time!
Fun things we did:

Pooch Plunge at the pool
Lolo and Lola (Ehren's parents) came to visit... twice!
Farmers Market

Mom: Same old thing. Workin' (part-time), workin' out (when I have the time/motivation), and being a full-time mom. I'm "training" for my first 5k that is in October. I've always ran at Dog Days or for exercise in general but I've never done a race. Let's just say running isn't the most natural thing for me and I am in no way a fast runner. I'm just hoping to run it in 30 minutes or less.

Dad: Still being the best dad ever. Could not ask for more.

What we are looking forward to: More sleeping through the night, rolling from back to tummy, sitting up, and of course, more smiles and laughs.

This month in pictures:

She loves books!

Lolo Seeley.

My future's so bright...

Already developing good taste for diamonds...

Lookin' pretty for church!

It's so much easier to do chores around the house when Mac is entertained in her exersaucer.

Watching daddy stuff diapers. I hope she appreciates all the work we do just to contain her bodily fluids.

Hi, Daddy! Welcome home. Now I'm going to eat your tie.

She discovered Cozy's feet.

And his thigh...

And his tail...

So peaceful...

Her daycare buddy, Asa and their matching Sophies!

Ehren and I went on a date ~~because my sister forced us so she could babysit~~ for fun. Margaritas were in order... and so good.

I have a feeling they are going to be fighting over balls someday...

Hi.

She started sitting up for short periods of time!

Happy National Dog's Day to our first born, Cozy.

It's all fun and games until the baby gets drunk.

Her mouth found her feet... or vice versa?

Fantasy football draft! She's choosing her picks wisely.

Kisses from Lola Goudy.

Cozy was worn out from a weekend with his cousin Ava.

Small baby. Big bed.

She looks like a baby from an 80s workout video.

At the pooch plunge at the city pool - she had to wear her onesie with the GSP on it!

Mac and Grandma Vickie.

The cliche is true - it goes by so fast!

nursery: deer and horses and owls, oh my!

2014-08-26T15:45:00.006-05:00

Wow. My child is almost 5 months old and has been living in her room for the last 4 months and I still haven't finished blogging about her room. So far, I've blogged about the walls and trim, the craigslist dresser, built-in shelving, and the plank wall. Now for all of the accessories and decorations.

Since the plank wall with the built-in shelving is the focal point of the room, I wanted to create a focal point of the focal point. I thought it would be cool to do a big, dramatic letter "M" for her name. Since we don't exactly have the tools (yet) to cut an "M" out of wood, I thought I would use the next best thing - foam core poster board. I felt like an almost 30 year old getting ready for a science fair project when I bought it.

The first thing I did was cut a large "M" out using a straight edge and a box cutter. Honestly, to make the measurements I used a baby shower envelope. Pretty scientific, huh?

Next, I cut one inch strips to make the M 3D.

Then, using a hot glue gun, I glued the strips on the edge of of the M to make it flush.

Progress:

(You can see the seam on the M which ended up driving me NUTS. I later found a huge piece of foam board the could accommodate the entire letter. I traced the M on the larger piece, cut it out, then glued it on top. Now it's seamless and doesn't make my skin crawl.)

I later painted it the same color as her room which I'll show in the next post.

Then, after hitting up Goodwill, TJ Maxx, Kohl's, Ross, my grandparent's house, and our front yard, I had all of my decor gathered. I like to accessorize rooms gradually. If I see something I like (as in an animal figurine) I get it and then kind of go from there. Next thing you know, I have the whole animal kingdom represented in McCauley's room.

This was an owl candle holder that sat on my grandparents' back patio for years... and I mean years. I cleaned it up and painted it silver.

I found this dish at Goodwill for 49 cents.

The elephant is from Ross, the whale from Kohl's, the horse bookends from Goodwill, and the pear is from some random furniture store in Springfield, MO for $2.00. And the bananas are from Checkers. And we ate them.

These bad boys were $1.00. You can see the painted whale tail and the painted pear in the background.

These butterflies were in my grandparents' bathroom. I painted them the accent color for the room, coral/peach.

Then I went to the front yard and found some sticks to paint. I figured they kind of go with the animal/outdoors theme, so why not?

Cozy really wanted me to throw it but then I reminded him we do not throw expensive home decor.

I found this awesome mirror at TJ Maxx and of course thought, "Oh, I could paint this!" And so I did. Cozy hadn't ever seen a mirror on the floor so he was pretty interested.

I figured the rough, natural texture of the mirror frame would complement the cedar plank wall and tie things together. If you look carefully, you can see my giant, pregnant belly in the bottom of the picture.

I used my trusty Martha Stewart paint for the frame. It took a long time to paint due to the texture of the frame but it looked great when it was done!

I used a razor blade to get the excess paint off the mirror.

I found this deer in my grandma's basement and as soon as I saw it I got very excited. When I was little (like 6ish?) my grandma was in the hospital because of breast cancer. I remember my aunt taking us to the gift shop to pick out some flowers for her. I picked out this flower-filled deer and she kept it after all those years (20 plus years!). It was originally painted to look like a real deer but of course I painted it. I always think of my grandma when I look at it.

You can also see the base of a table lamp behind the deer. I found these at TJ Maxx and they were painted to look like real tree branches. I'm not really into the "lodge" look so I painted them.

Are you getting my vision that is finally coming together?! A contemporary spin on the "woodland creatures" theme that fills many nurseries. Next up, the finished project.

*P.S. No actual, live animals were hurt or painted in the process of this decorating.

all about mac: 4 months

2014-08-12T15:23:00.002-05:00

Weight: 16+ pounds
Height: 25"
Health: Still very healthy! She had a couple days where her nose was a little more snotty than normal but it wasn't anything the Nose Frieda couldn't handle!
Nicknames: Miss Mac, peanut, Macadoodle, kid, Mackey
Teething: No teeth but she continues to drool and put everything in her mouth. She enjoys chewing on things now.
Clothing: Some of her 3-6 month clothes are too small or don't have much room for growth. Her cloth diaper booty takes up a lot of room.
Diapers: Love, love, love the cloth diapers. Still no blow out - ever. And she's had some pretty big poops. Diaper stuffing is just part of our every other day and it's no big deal. It's quicker than driving to Wal-Mart but the people watching isn't as good while we stuff them. I'm dreading when we switch to real food and therefore have to rinse the poop off before we wash them. However, Ehren has agreed to be the poop-sprayer. Should I get that in writing?
Eating: Obviously she continues to eat well as evidenced by her chunky thighs and Michelin-girl arms. I've got a freezer full of milk - I'm talking gallons and gallons of milk. I kind of feel like a milk hoarder. Thoughts that go through my head: What if I run out? What if my supply suddenly ends? Why did I only pump X number of ounces? Am I drying up? Sleeping (night): No more swaddle! We gradually weaned her out of it from the super tight "Miracle blanket" to the Halo swaddle, to swaddled with one arm out, to just a sleep sack now. It definitely makes it easier for grandparents when they put her down for a nap. She's only waking up 1x a night which isn't bad considering she's going through the "4 month sleep regression". At night, we feed her and then just lie her down in the crib awake. She puts herself to sleep and I LOVE that. I want to start healthy sleeping habits from the beginning so she doesn't rely on us to get to sleep.
Sleeping (naps): Naps are okay - sometimes she'll sleep only 45 minutes a nap and sometimes she'll go 3 hours if we let her. What is wonderful is that if we are out and about running errands and she misses a nap, she doesn't melt down (yet). She'll catch little power naps (15-30 minutes) that keep her happy. For nap time, we just lie her down in the crib, usually with a binkie, then she'll kind of whine and put herself to sleep. We know she'll be successful when she turns her head side to side while her eyes roll back in her head. One of my favorite things is watching her put herself to sleep. So cute.
Social: Talking all the time. Cooing and singing and screaming. She's smiling more and more at people she knows. She tends to study and observe strangers which is pretty cute. I love how, even though only 4 months old, she already recognizes her family.
Likes: Going on walks, tummy time, sitting outside, Cozy, putting toys in her mouth, she loves her burp rags just as much as her toys (maybe because they smell like my milk?), grabbing our faces, talking and looking at me while I nurse her, reading books, and she loves when we sing to her. We can't sing her to sleep because it just makes her more awake. Maybe she'll be an opera singer like her daddy?
Dislikes: Sometimes being held.. especially when she's tired. We notice that if she's fed and diaper changed and she's still fussy, she probably just wants to be put down. My mom noticed she was perhaps overstimulated while she was babysitting and so she put her upstairs on the bed. She talked to herself for 10 minutes or so and then fell asleep. Guess she likes her alone time!
New this month: Rolling over! It's the cutest thing to see her throw her head to one side and her chunky little body follows right over. Her expression afterwards is pretty cute as well. Lots more drooling and talking and much more interactive. She's not wanting to nurse as soon as she wakes up which is nice. She gets super happy and excited when she wakes up and we peak our heads over her crib. Those smiles melt my heart. I wish I were that happy when I woke up!
Fun things we did:

Springfield, MO to visit friends
Book club
Aunt Katie and grandma babysat while mom and dad went on a date
Went to Great Grandma and Grandpa Shirley's

Mom: Things are good with me! Still getting my work outs in and trying to stay active most days of the week. McCauley is getting to be so fun right now - very interactive and so fun to love.

Dad: Ehren continues to amaze me as a dad. It's just so natural for him and I can tell he's going to be the "fun" one. His imagination is incredible and I love how he names each animal and gives them a specific voice. I had to work a weekend and it was so nice not to have to say "Okay, the milk needs to be thawed and warmed up, make sure to do this, make sure she takes a nap, she doesn't like this", etc., etc. He's such a hands on dad and needs no teaching. I could just leave at the drop of the hat and he could handle everything without having to call me and ask. That, my friends, is a man.

What we are looking forward to: Sleeping through the night, cool weather and lots of walks, more talking and smiling, laughing.

This month in pictures:

Tummy time with the help of Cozy.

Mac and her daycare buddy Asa.

Just striking a pose.

Cuddle time with mommy.

And this is why we transitioned out of the swaddle!

When Mac is away (taking a nap), Cozy will lay. #doghairdontcare

Uggggghhh... she's so cute.

Date night (alone) at home!

McCauley staring at Holland's flower in her hair.

I wish the poor kid could get some attention.

Great grandpa Loyal.

The last polar vortex we had, I used it to freeze crock pot meals when we ran out of freezer space. This summer's polar vortex called for eating dinner outside!

But first, let me take a selfie.

Front porch sittin' with grandpa Jim.

What a sweet pea!

Ugh, she is such a pain to travel with!

We went down to Springfield to spend the weekend with two other couples and all of our kids. My favorite quote from the weekend, "you can cut his arm off but you can't hit him!"

Cooper and McCauley. Future husband and wife.

"Okay, bye kids! We're going to Branson! Be good."

New baby Cole and McCauley.

She loves outlet mall shopping! Those eyes, those cheeks, those dimples, that smile!

Hadley left him hangin'. Diss.

I love the Ergo for shopping.

Six adults and six kids under the age of six.

"Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

Unfortunately, Mac wasn't tall enough to drive the go-karts.

Ehren hates children, can't you tell?

Hadley, Lucy, McCauley, Kennedy, Cole, Cooper. I can't wait to re-create this picture over the years.

Other favorite quote from the weekend, "Mom, Cooper kissed me. Like, for real."

Helping mom with last month's blog post.

I got this father/daughter selfie when I was at work.. it made me smile.

Ready for church!

She's even serious when she sleeps.

She's graduated to the big tub with her sponge! She can splash much more this way and it's adorable to watch.

She was not being a very good napper one day but I didn't let that cut my work out short! She just watched from afar and did her own version of leg lifts.

We made homemade pizzas one night. In the background - prosciutto, fresh mozzarella, arugula. In the foreground - chorizo, manchego cheese, kale. So good!

Mac is so nice to share her new toy with Cozy.

I can't believe she's already 4 months old!

all about mac: 3 months

2014-07-21T08:37:00.000-05:00

Weight: Not really sure as we haven't had a doctor's appointment - but as you can tell by the rolls above, we are not having an issue with weight gain.
Height: Not sure about this either.
Health: Happy and healthy as can be!
Nicknames: Kid, baby cakes, squeaky, peanut, schmickety schmack
Teething: No sign yet but she does bring everything in her hands to her mouth and chews on it.
Clothing: She's barely fitting into any 3 month old clothes - especially with her cloth diapers on. She's wearing a lot of 3-6 month clothes now.
Diapers: Still loving the cloth diapers. We went to Western Nebraska over the 4th and we had to use some disposables. It was funny how small her butt looked and how well she fit into her pants! However, I didn't like the perfumy smell of them.
Eating: Eating very well. Sometimes when I nurse her she gets distracted and looks up at me and smiles. She's so much more interactive and I love it - even though it may take longer to get her feeding done. Sleeping (night): She is still waking up once a night to nurse which is not that bad. She still sleeps in the swaddle. The bad part is when I have to work the next morning and I can't go back to sleep after her 4:30 am feeding! It makes for a long day.
Sleeping (naps): Like clock work she will either wake up or get fussy right at 45 minutes into her nap. She typically takes two short ones (about an hour) and a long one (anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2).
Social: Very talkative, lots of cooing and happy screeching. I can tell she's going to be very observant when she gets older. She's not quick to smile at new people. If you've seen pictures of her, she's got a pretty serious face in most of them. Sometimes the serious face can be just as cute as a smiley one.
Likes: Crinkly paper that she shoves in her mouth, loves to chew on burp rags (or mouth diapers as Ehren calls them), starting to pay more attention to Cozy and vice versa. She loves the "disco kitty" that hangs over her activity mat that lights up and plays music. She loves being outside, she loves my singing or maybe she thinks it's laughable? She smiles and laughs at me when I sing. She likes a game we call "jellyfish" where we hold our hands over her head and wiggle our fingers as they get closer to her. She's really starting to enjoy tummy time!
Dislikes: Besides getting her nose sucked I can't really think of anything. Sometimes she fights sleep but not for very long.
New this month: Tolerating tummy time 10-15 minutes. She takes little rest breaks and rests her head on the floor and then lifts it right back up. She's better at grabbing objects; she brings any object directly to her mouth and chews on it. She is able to entertain herself better while I make dinner or clean house. She loves making lots of noise and mimicking the noises we make.
Fun things we did:

First Father's Day
First dip in a real pool
Trip to Western Nebraska for the 4th to celebrate with family and her new cousin Harper
More playdates with her PT baby boyfriends
Learned how to splash in the bath tub
Started daycare

Mom: I'm back to work which is an adjustment but not really in a bad way. Everyone asks if it was hard to leave McCauley and... it really wasn't. Does that make me a bad mom? I think if I didn't enjoy the people I work with so much and didn't love and trust Mac's babysitters so much, it would be a lot harder. It feels good to get ready in the morning and wear shoes and socialize and work with patients even though I enjoy playing on the floor so much with her. My days aren't that long and there's plenty of time in the evening to be with the little babe. I'm part-time (best thing ever) so that also makes it more bearable. If I went back full-time it would be a different story. I work Wednesday, Thursday, Fridays and I think it's going to be a really good balance. I'll be a better mom and a better PT with breaks from both "occupations" during the week. But, boy is it a lot of work to get things ready the night before! Bottles washed, milk thawed and ready, diapers washed and ready, toys gathered, lunches made, breakfast pre-made, dinner for the next night in the crock-pot, etc. However, all the prepping the night before makes for a smooth morning. It's also been very weird setting an alarm for the first time since March. Miss Mac has been my alarm for the last 3 months!

Dad: Ehren is staying very busy with work and started CrossFit awhile ago. I love that he's so excited to work out and that he needs very little encouraging. He does the drop off for daycare (either with my mom or dad or our friend Emma) which is great since I have to be at work at 8:00 and his schedule is so flexible. He's just the best dad ever - always willing to play with her or help me out. I can't say enough good things about him.

What we are looking forward to: More and more smiles and babbling. Maybe sleeping through the night? Losing more of this baby weight (grrr).

This month in pictures:

We put another play date in the books - Jackson, McCauley, Oden.

Like my mohawk?

Or my Alfalfa hair?

My nephew had his birthday party at the Baldwin City pool. Yes she's wearing a two piece and yes she loved the water.

Dara and Dell the dog love Mac, too.

Shame on her for sleeping through church...

She began sticking her tongue out this month.

I had my postpartum check up this month with my doctor - after all those months of doctor's appointments, it was crazy to walk in there with a baby in my arms!

Hello, world.

Tipping the scales this month.

Daddy giving Mac a pep talk before her shots - I believe he was talking to her about forgiveness.

Post shots nap. She was actually really good - a little fussy but slept great that night. No Tylenol was needed.

Tummy time!

Putting their heads together just like their moms did way back in PT school.

The last PT baby play date before we all went back to work. It was sad but also very cool to see how much they've grown up over the last few months!

Post nap snuggles.

This week she discovered her right hand and proceeded to show me multiple times a day. So cute.

Sometimes the only way I can get her down for her afternoon nap is to snuggle with her. Not a problem!

We love to FaceTime with dad when he's at work. She actually smiles at him sometimes.

Father's Day family pic!

We had brunch at the Eldridge Hotel in Downtown Lawrence.

Then we went to The Toy Store where Mac got attacked by a ostrich.

And then he stole her binkie.

Mac likes to make out with Sophie.

Dog park!

Floor time with grandpa.

Tummy time with big brother Cozy.

"Honey, will you bring some diapers upstairs?" When you're a parent, you have to multi-task.

Who do you think she looks like?

One of our family friends is Louis Copt (and his wife Phyllis) who is a local artist in Lawrence. I've always said that I want to go to their house and watch him paint in his studio. I finally got to do it this month!

Date night at Pachamama's.

I wish someone would give McCauley some attention....

Great Grandpa Loyal is so funny.

My sister and Josh's dog Winston wants to play.

"Let's make a deal..."

The night before I went back to work, Ehren got me a Snickers Sonic Blast (a favorite during pregnancy and post pregnancy) and some flowers. Such a sweet husband.

Story time!

First day back to work / first day at daycare selfie.

I had the pleasure of being in my friend Laura's wedding as a bridesmaid. She was absolutely stunning!

Miss Serious during bathtime.

Gotta love the wrinkles during tummy time.

Can you see the squirrel in the front yard? Cozy sure can.

We drove to Western Nebraska to see family for the 4th of July. Mac only slept about 30 minutes total during the 5 hour drive to Kearney but she was content and happy!

She got to meet her cousin Harper for the first time - they are about 4 months apart in age.

She also got to meet her Great Aunt Kathy.

Sutherland, Nebraska - where you can lay in the grass because chiggers don't exist.

Sisters!

Showin' some leg. (Thanks Ashley for the onesie!)

Uncle John playin' a little guitar.

Someone was a little exhausted from the longest road trip yet!

Looking forward to the next month with this little girl!

all about mac: 2 months

2014-06-12T13:46:00.003-05:00

Weight: At her doctor's appointment (at a little over 2 months old) she was 13 pounds 4 ounces! That's the 94th percentile.
Height: 23 inches.

Health: She's a healthy little girl. No fevers yet. She got her vaccinations at her 2 month check up and it was so hard to watch. She was just lying there, happy as a clam, and BAM. She gets stabbed 3 or 4 times by the nurse. She had one of those delayed cries where all I'm thinking is "breathe... breathe..." She then took a 3 hour nap, was a little fussy and tired throughout the evening, and then slept really well that night - only waking up once to nurse. She survived without having to take any Tylenol.
Nicknames: Peanut, butter cup, Mac (obviously), cheeks (for obvious reasons), chunky monkey, kid
Teething: She's not teething but she is drooling more, making bubbles, and has a little acne around her mouth.
Clothing: Her 0-3 month clothes are getting small and this makes me so sad! Not because she's getting bigger but because I hate seeing her grow out of such cute clothes. She wears 3-6 month pants because of her big, cloth diaper booty.
Diapers: Loooooving the cloth diapers. She hasn't worn a single disposable diaper since we switched over to cloth at about 3 weeks old. She has not had a diaper rash and no blow-outs. She's had a couple leaks if I've lost track of time or if she took a super long lap. We double stuff them at night and still no leaks for a 9 hour stretch of sleep. Love me some Bum Genius diapers.
Eating: Obviously she's eating like a champ if she's in the 94th percentile. I'm trying to get away from feeding before naps and using a pacifier instead. So far it's working. Sleeping (night): Great for the most part. When she was going through a "leap" or growth spurt, she woke up about 2 times a night. But now that's she's past that leap, she's only waking up once at about 4:30am. She eats for 10 minutes and goes right back to sleep. I don't even know if I open my eyes during these feedings! She goes down at 10:00 and is up at 7:30. Can't complain!
Sleeping (naps): She's doing pretty well. She's basically on a 3 hour schedule - awake for 1 1/2 hours, naps for 1 1/2 hours, so on and so forth throughout the day until 7:00 pm when we keep her up until 10:00. Of course it's not always consistent but it puts me in charge of her schedule as in I wake her up instead of letting her sleep long stretches of time. This is based on Baby Wise.
Social: She loves any kind of face time and from pretty much anyone. She coos and smiles and even laughed out loud at Grandpa Jim! Sigh... her first LOL.
Likes: She loves these little baby books that are mostly black and white - she coos and kicks and smiles.
Dislikes: Sometimes tummy time, getting her nose sucked
New this month: Definitely the cooing and intentional smiling. It's the best and it melts my heart.
Fun things we did: -Went to Meade to celebrate Seeley's (Ehren's dad) 30th anniversary at the hospital - she slept the whole way down and back (about 5 1/2 hours each way) -Our first Mother's Day -Mommy and Daddy went on TWO dates and grandma babysat -Went on lots of walks with big brother Cozy -Two trips to grandma Shirley's house

Mom: I'm doing much better. I wrote the last post in a very positive place and I'm mentally and emotionally much better. I've gotten back to exercising regularly and can fit in a pretty good work out during McCauley's morning nap. I feel so much better and can handle frustrating newborn situations much better if I've worked out that morning. On my 30th (ew) birthday, all I wanted was to go to Target by myself and then get a pedicure. My wonderful husband took over so I could enjoy some alone time.

Dad: Ehren's getting into his work routine and staying very busy during the week. I think he's really enjoying Mac now that she's more interactive and isn't always looking for something he doesn't have. He's so good about taking over baby duty when he gets home from work so I can cook dinner or just sit and veg alone. It's really cute to watch him read stories to her and make all sorts of voices. He's so helpful and I couldn't ask for anything more.

What we are looking forward to: We pretty much look forward to everyday because she changes so much and so fast. I'm looking forward to more coos and babbles and smiles. Every time she shows me those dimples I smile bigger than she does.

This month in pictures:

Tummy time with big bro' Cozy.

Those eyelashes. Those cheeks. That bow. Ugh.

Our first long road trip - it went very smoothly despite how crazy this picture looks.

Our children slept the whole way.

Quit choking her, Dad!

McCauley learning Mahjong with all the Filipinas.

Time with Lolo.

Okay, before anyone freaks out, I did not leave her unattended with this bow around her head. It worked though :) Mom of the year?

"And for waking me up from my nap, I'm giving you the finger" - Mac

Daddy's mesmerizing kisses...

Job and Holland getting some time with Mac.

Job patted her head/face and said "you're so cute!"

ATNR for the win!

Floor time with grandma and great grandma.

Thirtieth birthday date night!

We went to Merchants for my birthday and it was delicious, as always. This is also where we ate after we heard Mac's heartbeat for the first time. Crazy.

Wearing her "Mother's Day" best.

Four generations of Shirley girls!

Story time with grandma.

We've been having play dates with some of my PT classmates. My child looks huge compared to her boyfriends! Left to right, Mac, Oden, Jackson.

First trip to the dog park as a family of four... so fun!

While I work out during Mac's nap times, Cozy is my motivation partner. Except that he's not very motivating... he just lies there, waiting for me to finish.

Oh, hey there baby daddy.

Lean with it... rock with it...

"Sometimes... I eat too much... and then I frow up." - Mac

Daddy/Mac selfie time. I think I fell in love with both of them all over again when I saw this pic.

Talking with grandpa Jim.

Mommy's favorite time of day... when Daddy comes home!

Ehren had a networking get together on May 22nd at Abe and Jake's which just happened to be where we had our wedding reception on May 23rd, 2009... 5 years ago. We had to recreate this picture with our new addition almost exactly 5 years ago to the day.

Family time in bed!

Cozy our ~~sled~~ stroller dog. (Ehren is pretending that Cozy is pulling for you safety nerds out there :))

Mac in awe of the great outdoors.

Memorial Day at grandma's house.

Ugh. That smile and those dimples.

Mac has found her fist and she doesn't know what to think about the taste.

See you next month!

one month in...

2014-05-02T11:39:00.000-05:00

One, two, three and four weeks old.

We're (almost) officially one month in. It's been overall good. We've kept her alive, she's gaining weight, and she's growing. But I'm about to give you a dose of my reality as a new mom. It hasn't been butterflies and rainbows like most of the world makes it seem. I had multiple friends who delivered their babies days and weeks before me and they all texted me something like "It's the greatest thing ever! I can't wait for you to experience it! You are going to love being a mom!" Those texts made me more and more excited as D-Day approached. But it wasn't like that for me. I knew it was going to be hard and exhausting and I felt like I had the most educated guess on what having a newborn would be like. I however was not prepared for what it would do to ME. With all the research (read: google searches and message board reading) I had done prior to having McCauley, I knew it was normal not to have an instant bond with the baby. I knew it was normal to be sad and have the "baby blues" soon after delivering.

I remember being pregnant and loving the little human being that was growing inside of me. However, I also remember thinking, "I love her but I don't know her. I don't know what she's like. I don't feel that connected with her because she's still a stranger to me." You would think that when she had been growing inside of me for 290 days I would feel a bond - like I've known her all my life.

If you read my birth story blog post you may remember that it was a long labor lasting 24 hours. When she finally came out and rested on my chest, I recall having that "Oh my goodness, she's finally here, she's so beautiful and I love her!" feeling. And that feeling definitely continued the next few days despite all the damage and pain she had done to my body.

The first week was a blur. Getting used to feeding her around the clock was an adjustment. Getting used to being woken up in the middle of the night was a rude awakening. And with all the time spent looking at her and holding her I still didn't feel like I knew her. But I did know that I loved her.

And then the hormones came crashing down. Bad. I admit I had a pretty blissful pregnancy. No nausea or vomiting. No swelling. Progesterone was my BFF. I was happy nearly all the time (except for when I would get hungry or very tired). I didn't have the ups and downs of having a monthly cycle and I was truly happy while I was pregnant. However, I had a feeling, from the very beginning, that my post-partum course would be difficult.

Physically I was feeling great after having McCauley but emotionally I was a mess. I didn't like being needed around the clock. I didn't like that she relied on ME and only me for food. I hated looking at the clock thinking "it's only 9:00 am and I have to do this the rest of the day? and then through the night?" Without a full night of sleep, the days felt endless. I didn't like that Ehren enjoyed just about every minute he had with her. I didn't like that Ehren was happy and I felt sad. I had no motivation to soothe her or console her when she was upset - after I would feed her I would just hand her off to Ehren and he would take over. I felt no bond. I felt no connection. I knew it wasn't good to feel this way and I knew it was "normal" to feel this way but I also knew I didn't like it.

And then it got worse. I noticed that some stretch marks I got on my thighs during pregnancy started itching and developed some bumps on them. I thought "oh, my skin must be adjusting". And then my neck/chest started itching and I thought "oh, I must be allergic to that new necklace I got". And then it started spreading. Before I knew it, I was covered in itchy, red bumps that felt like chigger bites or poison ivy all over my body. Every day new areas popped up: my stomach, neck, arms, butt, thighs, back, lips, bottom of my feet, palm of my hands, breasts. EVERYWHERE. I discovered I had developed PUPPP or pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy. Google it. It's horrible.

Except that I wasn't pregnant anymore! Why was this happening to me after I had my baby? I found that very, very rarely it happens postpartum. Lucky me. Normally, women develop it during pregnancy and having the baby cures it. Not in my case. And with breastfeeding, there was little I could do medically to fix it - no Benadryl, no oral steroids. I could use a topical steroid in small areas but not on my breasts. That meaning I had to pick which area itched the most and treat it. I also drank dandelion root tea, used Grandpa's Pine Tar Soap (it made our bathroom smell like a campfire) while taking a cold shower, used oatmeal lotion, took Claritin, and avoided being in public. With my milk coming in (read: huge boobs) and my lips being swollen from PUPPP (read: big, puffy duck lips) I felt like a Real Housewife of Douglas County. I was miserable.

Can you believe it actually got worse than this?

McCauley was a very good newborn baby. We could figure out what she was crying about and fix it. She was sleeping good chunks of time through the night. I didn't feel as tired as I anticipated. But I was so, so, so sad. I was dreading my long maternity leave (gasp! I know). I was dreading every cry and diaper change and feeding. I wanted someone to adopt her. I wanted to run away. (Yes, I even texted my friend this). I didn't want to be a mom anymore. I wanted to go back to just Ehren and me - I was perfectly happy and content before. My mom came over to see her perfect little granddaughter and she could tell I was upset. She asked, "what's wrong? Are you itchy?" and I said, "No, I can't stand her!". Ugh. I know. It was hard to admit that. She was perfect and healthy and a miracle. I felt so bad for feeling this way when I knew many women were doing everything they could just to get pregnant. I felt so guilty. I felt like a bad mom.

It felt so wrong to feel that way but it's the only emotion I had. Luckily, Ehren reassured me that I was doing a great job and that it was normal and okay to feel that way. Thank goodness for late night Google searches. I found, through message boards, that so many other women felt this way, too. I knew I wasn't alone but I still felt helpless.

Day by day, the itching subsided (very slowly, I may add) and I started feeling better. I started feeling "normal" or my new normal. I started liking my daughter a little more everyday. (That sounds bad, doesn't it?) My hormones seemed to calm down a little bit. I wasn't a red, itchy, blotchy, milk-engorged mess anymore. I was getting the hang of this whole mom thing. Mac was starting to get the hang of the schedule I was trying to follow (Baby Wise), my best friend encouraged me to meet her for a play date, and I would go on a walk (with Mac strapped to my body and Cozy on my arm) when I got frustrated. It was a long, frustrating, emotional two-ish weeks but I feel like it's only been up from there.

And now for the positive spin on this whole motherhood thing. McCauley is a really good baby! I love her and even like her now. She went from waking up three times a night to two, to one and has even had some nights where she slept a full NINE hours before waking up. (Ehren and I woke up panicked, scared to death to check on her. I made milk puddles in the bed because my little parasite hadn't nursed for many, many hours.) She follows our sleep training schedule pretty darn well. I feel rested. I "sleep when the baby sleeps". She rolled over at 2 1/2 weeks. She's gaining weight like a champ - I like to call her my little milk monster. I'm feeling back to normal and I couldn't be happier.

I'm now understanding that being a mom is the "greatest and hardest job" in the world. (The first two-ish weeks I only understood the "hardest" part of the job and was longing for the "greatest" part of the job). Ehren texted me this quote that his friend had sent him from here and it gave me so much reassurance that I was doing okay. That I was a good mom. That having a newborn is freaking hard… no matter how good of a baby you have. I assure you, any parent with a newborn understands this:

"Infants are the drill sergeants of parenting bootcamp. They give you four basic tasks - diapers, burping, feeding, and napping - and then scream at you when you do them wrong. There's no encouragement, no smiles, just crying and quiet. And they give you tasks at any time, day or night. Just finished changing my diaper? Change it again. Good job, now change that one. After a few months of breaking you down, they build you back up again. They smile at you. They sleep through the night. They hold their head up, so you don't have to. And after it's over, the tasks you learned - swaddling, diapering, bottle prepping - are tasks you will likely never use again. But the skills you've gained - patience without sleep, calm in the face of screams, moving your hand into the shit instead of recoiling - are skills that will serve you the rest of your life".

The other day, my mom asked me what surprised me the most about being a mom and having a baby. At first, I couldn't think of anything and then a few minutes later, it hit me. When Ehren and I would go on walks while I was pregnant, we discussed what it was going to be like to be parents. We talked about how we will probably get frustrated at each other, that it will be a big test to our marriage. I think I even apologized in advance for getting mad at him! But what has surprised me the most is how much more I love my husband. How much stronger our marriage is. How much I realize I rely on him and look to him for support. I've realized what a good husband, and now father, he is. When I was breaking down, crying, regretting the last 10 months, he was strong, encouraging and loving. He never made me feel guilty for my feelings. He built me up and loved me and I couldn't be more thankful.

Like I've said before, this blog is for me to write down the goings on of my life, whether it be house projects, an account of my pregnancy, or an emotional outpour. I hope everyone appreciates the honesty that I've put down on this webpage and that you don't judge me for having such negative feelings towards our little miracle - it was hard for me to admit, hard to write down, and probably hard for you to read. Just know that no matter how blissful a new mother and baby look through Instagram filters, being a parent is not easy and sometimes the smiles aren't either. It's the hardest job in the world.

And now for a picture overload:

First smile caught on camera.

First walk!

Who says the dog gets less love after a new baby?

Loving the cloth diapers!

First real bath after her umbilical cord finally fell off.

Easter family selfie.

First time on Mass street.

First time breastfeeding in public. I dare you to say something.

Finger puppet show with dad.

Happy birthday to Ehren and Cozy!

Ehren's nose feels a lot like a nipple I guess. Hungry much, Mac?

Why, yes, we went to the KU football spring game when she was 9 days old.

We walked to the store for some groceries; Ehren made himself comfortable.

the nursery: plank wall

2014-04-28T14:05:00.000-05:00

The last post, I showed how we made built-in shelving for the nursery. The nursery originally looked like this:

And then we made built-ins that looked like this:

And now for the accent wall. I first used cedar planks when I made the frame for the mirror in our master bathroom renovation (which I still haven't blogged about.. oops). I like the rough texture that contrasts with the smoothness and sleekness of my contemporary style. I thought it would be cool to do an entire wall of cedar planks, varying in width, and then painted silver.

There was nothing scientific about this part - we cut some to fit the width of the wall and then used the scraps to make it looked pieced together instead of all of them being the same width. I figured it looked more natural this way and we could save on some expense.

We made sure that the first plank was level and then went from there...

We filled in the gaps with scrap pieces and we bought 4", 6", and 8" wide planks to add some randomness.

This part of the nursery make-over was the easiest! And fastest. With a nail gun, it was finished in no time.

I think Ehren was motioning for me to get something for him and I was all "no, I'm pregnant, I can't get up". Okay, that really didn't happen.

Ta da! Wall is up.

Even though it looked kind of cool without paint, I knew I wanted to paint it silver to go along with the color scheme of the room. So first, I primed it with regular old primer. Cedar is very rough and porous so it soaked it up very quickly. It was honestly really annoying to paint the wall because of this.

I used my trusty Martha Stewart paint that I used on the end table update I did. I started off with "Thundercloud" and thought it was too dark so I used "Polished Silver" instead.

I also primed and painted the built-ins white. Ahhh! I'm loving the contrast with the dark walls. You can also see the spacing for the crib between the shelves.

And now time to put the crib together! Even though she wasn't due for another 2 months or so. I'm just slightly impatient. And Ehren is just a little bit ridiculous. (Assembly of this crib did not require a hammer).

It's coming along! Sorry for the slow progress on the blogging front, I'm trying to sustain a tiny little ~~parasite~~ life and it's taking up a lot of my time. Cheers!

Introducing: McCauley Tejada Feldmeyer

2014-04-21T18:37:00.000-05:00

McCauley (my maiden name) Tejada (Ehren's mom's maiden name)

April 2, 2014

I had been having contractions all day, not my usual Braxton-Hicks contractions where I could go on about my day, but the kind where I had to stop what I was doing, moan/cuss/close my eyes/breathe. They weren't very close together or that regular. I was scheduled to be induced the next day as I would be 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The day felt weird, I was in a bad mood, just sad and restless. Ehren stayed home from work and I just kind of moped around the house. My stomach was kind of bothering me and I just overall felt "off".

10:23 pm

That night, we were lying in bed, Ehren, Cozy, and I, getting ready to go to sleep. While petting Cozy, I said aloud, "this could be our last full night of sleep in a long time". We had come to terms with the fact I would be induced the next day even though I hoped and prayed through the entire pregnancy that I would go on my own. However, I spoke too soon.

10:25 pm

Me: "Ummm... I... I think I'm leaking"

I shot out of bed, stood up and felt the gush.

Me: "OMG, my water just broke!"

I ran into the bathroom to try and contain the fluid, freaking out, while Ehren started getting dressed and gathering things. I had been group texting my friends Joanna and Beth the whole night; they had been making predictions on when I would go into labor or when she would be born. I had to take a screen shot of the conversation later that night because it was classic.

Cozy was very confused as to why we were packing to leave the house right as we were getting ready to go bed. We said, "okay, Cozy, go to bed, love you!" as we left the house around 10:45 pm.

Little did I know the long labor I was about to endure. After they confirmed that I was leaking amniotic fluid (as opposed to...?) I started walking laps. I had to stop every once in a while when I was having a contraction, breathe through it, and then keep going. I was glad it was the middle of the night so I wasn't running into all my lovely co-workers while looking a hot, pregnant mess. (Love you all!)

Of course, after all the contracting I had done during the day and my water breaking, I was only dilated to 1 - 1 1/2 cm. Ugh. A long ways to go that's for sure. I suffered through the contractions all night until 8:00 a.m. when I got my epidural. The only way to describe real contractions is the most painful, panicky, uncontrollable pain you've ever had. You become so paralyzed by them you don't know what to do, nothing relieves the pain, pain meds don't even touch it.

Honestly, getting the epidural was less painful than getting an IV. While the anesthesiologist administered the epidural, we talked about Cozy and the dogs my nurse and anesthesiologist owned. The doctor told me it would be about 15-20 minutes for it to take effect. They got me positioned back in bed, with the monitor slightly behind my head, and the anesthesiologist asked, "how does this one feel?"

I replied, in all honesty, "I don't even know what you're talking about".

Epidural for the win.

All smiles after the epidural - just ignore the sunburned, stoned look I'm sporting here:

The rest of the day was a daze and kind of scary. Her heart rate dropped drastically with contractions, then her heart rate was really high, indicating distress. Then I developed a fever, which is always concerning. My awesome doctor (who came in on her day off and spent most of the day watching my tracings) was very cautiously optimistic that I could still deliver vaginally. She was concerned about the heart rate, the fever, the distress, the slow progression. However, after an amniofusion, an IUPC, and the "magical peanut ball" while in the sidelying position, and many hours later, things started looking better. I started dilating more, the tracing looked much better, and it seemed that things were turning around. There was a point where I stopped worrying and started praying. I focused on God. I focused on changing my attitude. I believe it was at that point that things started looking up.

Labor dragged on until 9:00 pm (yes, 22 1/2 hours after my water broke) when I could finally start pushing. I pushed and pushed for almost an hour and a half before McCauley Tejada Feldmeyer finally came into the world. Exactly 24 hours, to the minute, after my water broke. She was born at 10:25 pm.

She was MUCH bigger than my doctor and I anticipated. A whopping 8 pounds, 8 ounces. I now agree with what most people said while I was pregnant, I was "all baby".

Ehren was such a trooper, such a positive force in that room. After my doctor would give report on my progress, he would repeat it back to me, emphasizing the positive points she made, encouraging me the whole way. After McCauley was here, my doctor admitted that she wrote "probable C-section" on my chart. I'm so glad she was wrong (not that a C-section is a failure at all) but because I was so motivated to push. I'm so thankful for a patient doctor.

It was a crazy night at the hospital - 3 babies born within an hour of each other. My doctor running between my room and another. My nurse asking me to stop pushing and to wait for the doctor to come back. The nurses attributed the influx of patients to the stormy weather. And after being awake 40 hours and going 30 hours without food, I was exhausted, hungry, sore, in shock, amazed, humbled, thankful, did I mentioned exhausted?

First mother/daughter selfie.

Some of the happy grandparents:

Hey! Why are you guys sleeping? I'm the one who did all the work!

Ehren has no idea how lucky he is that he can fall dead asleep anywhere, anytime. The funniest moment, but not funny at the time, was when I was in the hospital bed, Mac was getting fussy in the crib, and Ehren was asleep on the "daddy bed". I was so incredibly sore (like I got kicked with a steel-toed boot in the crotch) and could not fathom getting out of bed to get her. I was trying to get Ehren's attention so he could bring her to me.

"Ehren....... Ehren..... Ehren!.......Ehren!!!!......EHREN........EHREN FELDMEYER........EHREN!!!!!"

He still didn't hear me, despite me nearly screaming at him (at 3:00 am, mind you). He didn't budge. Didn't stir.

Wanna know how I finally got him to notice me? I called him. On his cell phone. Apparently the gentle ring tone and the soothing vibration is what can wake him up. Not his screaming, new mom wife lying 5 feet away from him. It's pretty funny looking back on it and makes for a good story to tell.

Mac and her Aunt Katie:

And here I am, lying in exactly the same place I was when my water broke, with Cozy in the same spot and Mac in almost the same position.

And now I'm no longer pregnant. No giant belly. I can actually get out of bed. I can go hours without having to pee. I can sit comfortably. I feel like a new woman. And not just because of what I just mentioned but because I am now a mother, a mom, a mommy. There is a little life that depends solely on me and her dad. It's a lot of responsibility. And pressure. But I know I can do it and I know it will be worth it.

baby bump: 40+ weeks

2014-04-02T17:26:00.001-05:00

How far along: 40 weeks.

Size of baby: Jackfruit.

Maternity clothes: My stomach hangs out of the bottom of them. I think that means I'm ready to deliver.

Weight gain: I think right at 30 pounds.

Sleep: I'm getting better at getting in and out of bed in the middle of the night without flopping around like a fish out of water. It's pretty routine that I wake up at 1:00, 3:00/4:00 and then lightly sleep until 6:00 and then kinda lie there until it's time to get up. You could say that I'm having a little trouble sleeping but I also feel like I'm getting prepared to be up all hours of the night. Joy.

Exercise: Walking and working.

Best moment of the week: Hitting 40 weeks.

Worst moment of the week: Hitting 40 weeks and then passing it.

Movement: Yes. She tosses and turns like I do in the night now.

Cravings: Macaroni and cheese. Like 4 times this week.

Belly button in or out: It's out and my belly is so big that it is pretty much flat now.

Wedding ring on or off: Off 90% of the time. When I put it on, I squeal, "Wow! It's so pretty!" I forget how pretty it is when I don't see it on my finger everyday. It's like we just got engaged.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.

What I miss: Feeling like a semi-cute prego. Now I just feel like a giant prego who gets stares from strangers who are wondering, "how is she still upright?" I feel uncomfortable in all of my clothes, even my maternity clothes. I'm ready for the hospital gown.

What I am looking forward to: Being a mom. I've had 5 friends who had their babies within 4 days of each other (totaling 6 babies) and they have all told me how wonderful it is. I am so excited for all of them (most of them first time moms) and they are so excited for what I am about to experience. Lots of love and support around these parts. I'm also looking forward to having a new connection with people - joining the mom club and bonding over being mothers.

What I am not looking forward to: Exhaustion. I honestly don't know how I'm going to handle it. Will it break me down? Will I surprise myself and handle it really well? Are we just designed to be able to handle living off only a few hours of sleep when we have kids? Whatever the answer is, it will be worth it.

Labor signs: Contractions to the point of timing them on an app. Pain. Back pain. Cramping sensation. More pressure. And my belly looks lower and lower all the time. With all those symptoms you would think that I would be like 3 cm dilated at my doctors appointment. Well, there is no dilating going on in this girl.

Symptoms: See above.

Nursery: Done.

Emotions: Getting antsy and sad and uncomfortable and irritated and bored and impatient and emotional and sad and excited and nervous and pretty much every other emotion you can think of. I'm just ready. I'm ready for the next part. I'm ready to be a mom and I'm ready to see Ehren as a dad.

Week in review:

Once again, the week starts off with Cozy cuddles. Here you can see his beautiful liver head is resting on my knee while his arms are wrapped around my lower leg. True love.

Cozy was getting cold feet about being a big brother so we put some slippers on him.

Ehren decided to juice again this week so I got to pick my own meals. Actually, every week I pick my own meals because Ehren will eat anything and loves everything. Not complaining here! Anyway, I made Giada's Roasted Vegetables with Chipotle Cream. Absolutely delicious and very healthy!

She didn't get the memo...

Do you think he was making fun of me? I think he was making fun of me.

Cozy's favorite snack is an apple, and when we're eating one he will stare us down until we give him a bite.

Still pregnant! I thought she would be on time like her mother usually is, but nope. She must be going on Filipino time. Forty weeks and 2 days.

I'm all about to do lists and this one may be the hardest, yet most enjoyable one I've ever made! I'm ready to check the last box off.

Alright little girl, we're ready for you. I'm starting to see how you're already in charge. You just take your sweet time and we will wait patiently for you. Okay, maybe your dad will wait patiently for you, I'll just wait for you.

the nursery: built-in shelving

2014-03-29T15:48:00.000-05:00

Time to build some stuff! As you may recall, we painted the walls and trim and then refinished an old dresser for the nursery. And now for the main event, the center piece of the room, the vision I've had in my head for months. As in, before I was even pregnant. My vision was built-in cabinets and shelving on the wall where the crib was going. I also pictured an accent wall between the shelving to spice it up. We thought about buying shelving from Ikea but ultimately decided to make them from scratch (except for the cabinet part) so it would fit perfectly. Here's what it looked like before:

On a Friday night, we took our date night to Home Depot and bought our supplies. Romantic, huh?

We bout pre-made wall cabinets (not base cabinets) from Home Depot that are 24" wide and 12" deep. We liked the idea of hidden storage space and not 100% shelving. We figured we could stash toys in there that are easy to reach yet don't clutter the room. Since we didn't want them directly on the floor, we built a base for them to sit on using 2x4s.

After the bases were built, we flipped the cabinet over and secured it to the wall. I went ahead and painted the wall where the built-ins were going to avoid cutting in on every shelf down the road.

Then we built the bottom of the first shelf using 2x12s.

Then we made the frame of our shelves using 1x12s. It looks really flimsy here (which it was) but we knew we would be securing it to the wall and then making shelves which would reinforce it significantly.

See where this is going?

Can't you just see a little crib between there with an adorable baby sleeping? Not yet? Okay, keep reading.

Next we started building the actual shelves like so.

We ended up making the bottom shelves the tallest and then all the other ones shorter.

It's starting to look like a bookcase now!

We put some high quality trim pieces (1x2s I believe) to finish off the shelves. These hide the small pieces of wood we used to make each shelf and made everything look solid and cohesive.

I threw up some of the decorative stuff I plan on using just to get a feel for how things will look. I'm pretty excited about having a place for books, pictures and random ceramic animals that I just love.

It doesn't look like much right now, but with the accent wall and baseboards and crown molding to tie it all together, it will look stellar. I just know it. Now we can say that we have built shelving by ourselves and it's giving me ideas and confidence for our "formal" living room downstairs. Ehren is so excited.

baby bump: 39 weeks

2014-03-26T20:25:00.000-05:00

How far along: 39 weeks.

Size of baby: Small watermelon. Is there such thing as a small watermelon?

Maternity clothes: I'm getting sick of wearing the same maternity shirts to work and I'm tired of having only so many options for pants. My maternity jeans just feel uncomfortable now and I'm over it. I wore Ehren's sweats in public and I'm not even ashamed.

Weight gain: Not sure of the number but I'm right where I should be.

Sleep: I'm trying to take advantage of good sleep because I know it will be ending soon. I'm very thankful for all the restful nights I've had.

Exercise: Lots of walks with Cozy now that the weather has been better. But once again, I'm running out of clothes to wear for exercise.

Best moment of the week: Two date nights over the weekend! We went to Johnny's West Friday night and Yokohama Saturday night. Ya know, since we will never be able to go out on a date ever again, ever, because we procreated. False. It drives me crazy that people say this to pregos. We will still make time for each other and go on dates - that's what multiple, in-town babysitters are for!

Movement: She generated an audience the other day because she was doing somersaults and jumping jacks. It was hilarious.

Cravings: Besides the pizza from Johnny's and the sushi from Yokohama, not really. I'm going to miss having pregnancy as an excuse when I have cravings in the future. I guess I'll blame it on my ravenous breastfeeding state that I'll be in.

Belly button in or out: Out.

Wedding ring on or off:   I stopped wearing it this week. Not because my hands were swollen but because sometimes it feels a tiny bit too tight which then makes me panicky and claustrophobic. I feel naked without it.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope. Well, actually, the way the KU Jayhawks played. But I've moved on from that.

What I miss: Clothing that fits. Rolling over in bed without my pelvic bones popping and grinding due to laxity. My body parts not sitting on top of each other (read: boobs on my belly, belly on my lap).

What I am looking forward to: Oh, ya know, meeting this little human that has been inside of me since June/July.

What I am not looking forward to: My postpartum baby body. I'll learn to love it but it will take time.

Labor signs: Contractions all the time. It's like my uterus is training for the Olympics. It better be ready to push this baby out real quick when the time comes.

Symptoms: Everything but real labor. Braxton Hicks contractions, cramps, back pain, nesting, fatigue. Ya know, all the things that make work and life real easy.

Nursery: Done.

Emotions: At my doctor's appointment on Friday, I found out I still wasn't dilated, which I know is not a good indicator of impending labor. However, I was 70% effaced which is a good sign. My doctor said she thinks I'll go into labor on my own but that it will be after my due date. Whomp, whomp. Oh well, I'll just be thankful that I'm able to carry a healthy baby to term. I know there are a lot of women who struggle with this. I'm just anxious to meet our little girl and I totally understand how women report the last few weeks are the slowest and the hardest. Once she's out and starts acting like a real baby, I'll probably be wondering why I wanted her here so soon. It's crazy to think that right now, she literally has everything she needs and is completely content. When she comes out into the world, she is all of a sudden helpless and will rely on ME, the mom, not me the body.

Week in review:

What week doesn't start off with Cozy kisses?

This belly is getting out of control.

Would you believe that there are 5 girls in this picture below?

My friend Chanel at work is having twin girls and I'm having a girl. Our girls are due 3 weeks apart, however, since she's having twins she will be delivering sooner than me. It's been fun to go through a pregnancy with someone and share how our doctor's appointments are going, how we're feeling, and what we're excited about.

One time, we both had a very sweet, elderly man as a patient. He knew Chanel was having twins and then he met me, surprised to see another pregnant woman, and said "that other girl is pregnant, too. When are you due?" I told him and then he said, "well, you guys must have been at the same party" with very slow, slurred speech. It was hilarious.

I love that my mom gets down on the floor to love on Cozy. I think this is a good indicator of how good of a grandmother she will be to a human.

The weather was so nice we decided to take advantage of working in the yard and getting it ready for Spring. Another thing people have said to us (that annoys us) is "Your yard is so beautiful! Just wait 'til you have kids". Thanks for your boost of confidence.

I participated in the yard work as well. I figured my mom went into labor with me while doing yard work so maybe the same would happen to me? I posted this picture on Facebook and this is what my dad commented:

"As I recall, I was mowing and your Mom was weed eating near the back of the house. Suddenly, the weed eater stopped and all I could hear was your Mom cussing. She was about as big as you are now and your protrusion caused her shirt tail to get caught in the rotating motor and instead of eating weeds it began eating her shirt. The weed eater stopped cold and was never the same after that. You came along shortly after that and we were never the same either, but in a good way."

We installed the car seat base in the car... eeek! This is really happening! I think my water would have broken if Ehren was not there to help install it. It takes a lot of strength to get that sucker in there correctly!

And just like we practice walking with the stroller with Cozy, we practiced driving around with me, the car seat, and Cozy in the back seat. He was a little confused but he managed.

Cozy hates the month of March purely because of KU basketball. We yell, we scream, we throw things. He promptly takes himself upstairs and hangs out in our bed on game days. He comes down at halftime and timeouts but as soon as the game starts back up, he goes back upstairs. This is no joke. He did this at my mom's house too. Anyway, KU was playing like crap and I couldn't safely watch it anymore. I cleaned the entire upstairs (bathrooms, made two beds, put away clothes, dusted, vacuumed, decluttered, etc) during the second half. Cozy took his position.

Then he gave daddy "it's okay, there's always next year" kisses to make him feel better.

Ahh, the fruits of my labor. Okay, not really. We just bought a lot of fruit (and this isn't even all of it) and I had to take a picture. Yes, we will literally eat all of this in the next week. Now that's my kind of centerpiece!

So, I'm like due next week?

the nursery: craigslist dresser

2014-03-22T18:05:00.000-05:00

When I started thinking about nursery furniture, I knew I didn't want to buy some $999 changing table from Land of Nod or Pottery Barn. I knew I wanted to find something cheap to fix up that was a dresser but could also act as a changing table without screaming "you change diapers on me!" Thank goodness for the Craigslist app on my iPhone. I would just randomly search "dresser" in Lawrence and Kansas City and see what I could find. Some of them lacked character, some were way too expensive to consider a "fixer-upper", and some were just trash. I knew I wanted some kind of detailing or dimensional aspect to it and I also only looked at ones that were approximately changing table height.

I found this beauty on Craigslist for $50 in Kansas City. We drove in, looked it over, and then loaded in our car. It smelled like it had been in a garage for a long time and it definitely needed some lovin'. I wanted to yell at the seller, "don't you see the potential in this thing?!" But we kept our mouths shut and drove back to Lawrence.

You can see that the top is very shiny and not solid wood. I was concerned that paint wouldn't stick to it like it would sanded wood. From far away it doesn't look like it has many imperfections but it sure did.

Ehren sanded all the drawers and the dresser shell. Obviously he couldn't sand the top as it is not real wood. Cozy is making sure he didn't miss any spots.

We loaded it up on the saw horses and I primed the dresser. I ended up doing two coats of primer on the top as I knew I wanted a good base to cover with real paint.

After priming, I did 2 coats of Benjamin Moore's Advance paint in white.

I primed the drawers and then did 2 coats of paint on top of that. Cozy, of course, kept a close eye on the progress and watched for drips.

It took a while to get all of this done, especially with 16 hours between coats, but with Cozy by my side and Gossip Girl on in the background, it was no problem at all.

After everything was painted and then cured for 5 days, we reassembled the dresser up in the nursery. The only problem with this old dresser was that the drawers definitely didn't slide very easily. The drawers were jerky and shook the whole dresser when we opened and closed them. I was NOT okay with this. I looked up online as to how to fix this problem and I ran across nylon tape which decreases the friction. Ehren applied the tape and then also tightened some areas so the drawers weren't crooked. It worked like a dream!

On a Saturday, we decided to go to Kansas City to go to Locks and Pulls to find some new hardware for our old dresser. The pulls were 3 1/2" wide and wouldn't you know, the mecca for hardware had ONE 3 1/2" pull in satin nickel/silver. ONE. We asked if they had anymore 3 1/2" pulls in the finish we wanted and they basically said "what you see is what we have". Ehren then told them that we would go somewhere else and they kind of smirked at us like "well, we have every lock and pull known to man, so good luck with finding what you're looking for". In a pregnant rage, I stormed out of there, pissed. Well, actually I had to go to the bathroom before I stormed out, so my exit wasn't quite that dramatic. #pregoproblems

Next, we ventured to the Plaza to hit up some stores. I knew Anthropologie had really cool knobs to add to the dresser. These were the ones that caught our eyes. We planned on putting the silver mercury glass one on the closet doors but then couldn't decide which of the teal ones to put on the dresser. Ehren was partial to one while I was partial to the other. Then we decided to do something my OCD, type A, anal self never does… mix it up and have different knobs on the same dresser. The horror!

I love it!

So what did we end up doing to replace the old, ugly, outdated 3 1/2" pulls? Nothing. I decided, "let's just spray paint the original pulls until we find something we like". And then we painted them and then we decided we didn't need to look any further!

And now our dresser is complete! The paint on the top of the dresser took very well and I'm not concerned about it coming off thanks to multiple coats of primer and paint.

A bit of an upgrade from this:

To this:

I love the way the bright white contrasts against the dark, navy blue. The entire project was way cheaper than anything you could buy in a store… even Ikea.

Dresser: $50

Knobs: $26

Pulls: $0

Paint: we already had because of other projects, but BM Advance costs less than $50 a gallon and we only used a fraction of the gallon

Not bad for $76.00, huh? Refinishing something like this makes it way more special than picking and choosing a product from a store. I'll always remember priming and painting this thing while I was pregnant, wondering what our daughter was going to be like, what will she look like, and when will she get here? While we will change diapers all over this house, this town, and this state over the years, changing her on this dresser will always be special.