Parenting With a Smile

Changes in the New Year

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 10:01:00 +0000

I started Parenting With a Smile in May, 2011. I posted almost 300 posts over those five-and-a-half years. This was my first blog, and I wrote with trepidation and insecurity.

But something happened along the way. I started finding my voice and writing like me, not trying to impress or sound better or worse than I really am. I enjoyed putting my heart on the white space and sharing myself with you.

I was in the last phases of parenting at the time this blog began, having only one child out of three still living at home. She was a teenager and I was able to see parenting through rosier glasses than perhaps I had with the older two. Just knowing something is coming to an end often makes it sweeter. So it was with my parenting days.

And so it is with this blog. All three of my children are now out on their own and doing well. If you haven't followed this blog regularly, you can read Releasing the Last Baby Bird here about letting that last child go. I'm thankful for the people my children have become. I'm thankful I've had this place to write my heart about parenting.

But now it's time for me to launch into a new world of empty nesting. But my life is so much more than that. With all the kids gone, the whole world is at my feet waiting to be explored without someone hanging on my leg. This Parenting With a Smile blog will be out here in the blogosphere for you to access, but there won't be new content posted on it.

Instead, I'm starting a new blog. In fact, I've already started it. It won't be Parenting With a Smile, but more of a generic Life With a Smile, if you will. The website is still under construction (by my awesome son, Tyler) but I've already started posting on my new blog. The only way you can access it right now is through following me on Facebook, where I share every post on my author page. So if you don't want to miss a single post, please look me up at Linda McQuinn Carlblom, Author, on Facebook and like my author page. Once the site is up and running, you'll be able to subscribe and have the posts drop right into your inbox as they're published. I'll let you know when that happens.

Thank you so much for reading and following my posts here at Parenting With a Smile. I'd write them even if you didn't read and follow, but it's so much more rewarding to know someone is actually at the other end, and even commenting on them.from time to time. I hope to see you at my new site.

Linda

Releasing the Last Baby Bird

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Mon, 01 Aug 2016 10:00:00 +0000

It's official. I'm an emotional hot mess today.

I’m in the last weeks of having a child, however adult, living under my roof. My oldest child is almost thirty-four years old, and these last thirty-four years of mothering have been the sweetest work I've ever done, but they're quickly coming to an end. Oh, I know, once a mother, always a mother, but it won't be the same not having a child living under my roof.

Ashley "sewing" at Grandma's house.

My youngest child, Ashley, is preparing to leave our safe, happy nest in mid-August. She will move to Washington state and live in a 1976 Ford Chateau RV that we're working hard to renovate. My husband and I will drive her, her RV, and her car to Washington, then fly home without her.

Me and my girl

I just finished recovering the cushions for Ashley's little RV couch today. The stress level is a bit high right now due to her tight finances, my August first book deadline, and pressing church responsibilities that also need to be done by the first of August. Add to that the work that needs to be finished on her RV and our regular life responsibilities and, well, let's say we're all wound a little tight.

Ashley and me at Sea World Tide Pool

As I worked on that last cushion—the corner cushion that has given me fits for the last two weeks—the tears came. I don't want her to go! But go she must, for that's what we've tried to prepare her, and ourselves, for since she was born that December evening nearly twenty-one years ago.

Ashley, 9 mo. old

She is capable, confident, and so very personable. The world will be blessed to have her outside of our warm cocoon, and will enjoy the joy and energy she brings into it. She's been independent since she could walk and has had a mind of her own even before that. She uses it well, and her decisions are thoughtful and right. Her heart is big and holds so much love that she willingly shares with others. When she was in elementary school she wouldn't leave until she'd hugged every teacher, whether they were hers or not. That's who she is and how she operates.

Silly face on the first day of school

She is a sunbeam and our home won't be nearly as bright without her. She isn't always cheerful, but who is? She can make me laugh until tears stream down my cheeks. And vice versa. She has been my coffee buddy, my fellow thrifter, my pedicure partner, and my teacher when it came to loving animals.

High school graduation

Celebrating getting her driver's license

She'll always be my daughter, but I'd be a fool to think things will ever be the same, even when she comes back to visit. For once a child crosses the threshold of independent living, there's no going back to the way things were.

18th birthday

So go, little bird, with our love, our blessing, our deepest prayers for your success, happiness, personal and spiritual growth. May you find all your heart longs for and may the world treat you gently. Remember how very loved you are and that our door and our hearts are always open to you. When you fly back, you'll be a different person, as will we. But we'll always love you unconditionally, no matter where you are.

At a AZ Diamondbacks game

Ashley as Rose the Fairy at the AZ Renaissance Fair, 2016

Use your gifts. Love God and live out your faith every day. Stay close to His side and you'll always be at home.

Fly well, baby bird, fly well.

Linda

Church at the Nursing Home

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Fri, 08 Jul 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Rollin and I went to church on a Thursday afternoon in Minnesota with his 93-year-old dad at his assisted living home. Folding chairs lined the activity room and about fifteen gray-headed people congregated there. Walkers parked along the perimeter of the meeting place.

The kind-hearted preacher spoke with conviction about the peace and joy Jesus gives. His voice rose above the confused murmuring of some of the attendees.

"Sweet hour of prayer," one woman said loudly, over and over. Occasionally, she'd throw in a "Jesus loves me this I know." Another lady had trouble finding just the right place to sit. Rollin helped her to a seat, front and center. She seemed to be pleased with it. At first it was annoying, trying to hear the man up front over the interruptions, but God was there, waiting to interrupt my own annoyance with His grace.

Soon, communion emblems were offered. The pastor tenderly served each one individually at their seats. Some couldn't take their own piece of bread, dropping it on the floor. The pastor decided maybe he should hand each one their piece. He did the same with the cup. As he went around, he suggested we sing the children's song, "Jesus Loves Me." Old, wobbly voices joined in song and my eyes filled with tears. To be in the company of such saints moved me. It didn't matter that they were confused, unable to make sense of what to do with the bread and tiny cups they'd been handed.

"Sweet hour of prayer," she said again, louder than was appropriate. But from the overflow of her heart, it came. Worship in its truest, purest form.

Then the pastor went around to collect the empty cups. "Would you like to drink that?" he gently asked the first woman. No, she shook her head. But then she drank it, and placed the plastic cup on the tray he offered. The same happened with the old man in a wheelchair.

Now my own heart overflowed. To be in the presence of these saints was an honor I'll not soon forget. I hope when my mind is foggy, the thing that rises to the top is worship and praise to the One who has loved and sustained me my whole life.

The old folks' memories are gone, but God sees their hearts, past the place of confusion, past the inappropriateness of their behavior, to who they are because of Jesus. Jesus loves them, this they know. Loves them, died for them, will come for them. Even so, Lord Jesus, come.

How to Raise a Child Who Helps

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Wed, 06 Jul 2016 07:30:00 +0000

This week I'm posting some of my most popular posts while I'm preparing for and going on a week's vacation. I hope you enjoy them--again! This one was originally posted April 12, 2012.

We've all seen them, kids who clear their plates from the table and take them to the sink without complaint. Children who take out the trash without being told. Kids who genuinely seem to enjoy helping. How does that happen? A freak of nature? Here are a few tips to train your child to help.

Begin when your child is a toddler. When she's taking the silverware out of the dishwasher as fast as you can load them in, compliment her. "Thank you for helping! Can you put the silverware back in the dishwasher (or drawer) for me?" Show her where it goes. Helping becomes a fun game.
Give kids a voice in their chores. Write down the things that need to be done. Divide the list by the number of people who will be helping. Then let them take turns choosing the items they'd like to do. So, for example, you have four people in your family old enough to help. Divide your list of 20 items by four. Each person will do five chores. Have the youngest choose one item from the list first. Then the next youngest does the same and so on until all items on the list are crossed off. Obviously, not all chores will go on this list since you don't want a five-year-old mowing the lawn.
Take time to teach them how to do a job. It's easy to say, "it's faster to just do it myself." Of course it is. But it doesn't help your child learn or feel valued. Accept the fact that for a few years, things won't get done as quickly as they might if you did them yourself.
Celebrate after chores are done. Give positive feedback or gentle correction if something needs more attention. "The bathroom you cleaned looks terrific! Oops! Looks like you might have forgotten to clean the mirror. As soon as you do that, you'll be done!" To celebrate, choose a movie to watch together, go get an ice cream, take a bike ride, or call Grandma.
Give age appropriate jobs. Nothing is more discouraging than always failing at something. So make sure your kids succeed far more than they fail. For a list of age appropriate jobs for kids, click here.
Work together on some jobs. Sometimes a big job like cleaning a room is just too overwhelming. Help them do it if they seem to need a hand. And break big jobs down into small steps like make your bed, pick up your clothes, etc.
For very young kids, make a list using pictures. Instead of just listing clean your room, give them specific directions like 'pick up your toys' and draw a picture of a teddy bear so they'll know what that list item says. My kids loved having a list to work from that they could actually "read."
Show appreciation. This is a biggie. When a child helps in some way, whether asked to or not, thank them. Let them know you noticed and that their contribution is appreciated.

Raising kids to be helpful doesn't come easy. It takes consistency, patience, and guidance. But I remember one day working in the kitchen with my ten-year-old daughter and realizing that her help was really helping, not hindering, my progress. All those years of letting her work beside me were finally paying off. And it was worth it!

How do you get your children to help? How do you instill in them a good work ethic? What special tips would you add to this list?

Linda

Why I Love the United States of America

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Mon, 04 Jul 2016 07:30:00 +0000

This post is reblogged from Doing Life Together and was written by my friend, Andrea Huelsenbeck.

As the two-hundred-fortieth birthday of our country approaches, it’s appropriate to consider what it means to be an American. Personally, I am thankful to be a citizen of the United States, proud to be a part of what it stands for.

Freedom. Our constitutional form of government empowers citizens to actively participate in self-determination. The Bill of Rights ensures our individual civil liberties. But where there is great freedom, there is also great responsibility. Apathy is not an option. Our freedom is vulnerable, and we must be ever vigilant to retain it. Spend your vote wisely, and support the men and women who serve to defend us.
The American Dream. We believe that through hard work, every person can become successful and prosper. In this century, the media and politicians challenge that belief, but the fact remains that the United States enjoys one of the highest standards of living in the world. Seriously. If you earn $25,000 a year, you are in the wealthiest 10% of the world. Don’t believe me? Check this 2013 Gallup poll, this article from Investopedia, and the website Global Rich List.

Newly sworn U.S. citizens celebrate at a July 4, 2012, ceremony in Portsmouth, N.H., from cronkitenewsonline.com

Compassion. As blessed as we are, it is only right to share with those less fortunate. After World War II, the U.S. did something unprecedented—through the Marshall Plan, we contributed $13 billion (that would be about $130 billion in 2016 dollars) to help rebuild Western Europe’s economy (including vanquished Germany, our sworn enemy). In 1961, President John F. Kennedy established the Peace Corps, which sends American volunteers overseas to tackle the most pressing needs of people around the world. In 2015, the US distributed an estimated $8 billion world-wide in international disaster relief and refugee assistance (see report, p.11). In addition, hundreds of thousands of American individuals contribute to religious and private charities that also respond to catastrophes, development, and other needs abroad.
The Melting Pot. Drawn by hope for a better life, people pour into our country from around the world. I, myself, am a beneficiary of the American immigration policy. My parents entered the United States from Germany in March, 1952, after applying and being screened (to be sure they weren't undesirables, like Nazis or a war crimes perpetrators). My parents proudly became citizens five years later. Immigration has helped our country grow in human resources. However, there is an official process that should be followed (though it needs to be made less unwieldy). No one should be allowed to sneak into our country.
America the Beautiful. Bookended by oceans, bounded by Canada and Mexico, with Alaska extending into the Arctic Circle and Hawaii smack dab in the middle of the Pacific, the United States covers three million, eight hundred six thousand square miles and spans nine time zones. Its landscape includes glaciers and tropical paradises, mountains, valleys, and prairies, rivers, lakes, and deserts. Its astounding diversity and natural wonders inspire delight, surprise, and humility. Who wouldn’t want to live here?

America, America, God shed His grace on Thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea!
—Katharine Lee Bates

Do you love your country? Why? Please share in the comments below.

5 Ways to Teach Kindness to Your Kids

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 07:30:00 +0000

This week I'm posting some of my most popular posts while I'm preparing for and going on a week's vacation. I hope you enjoy them--again! This one was originally posted April 10, 2012.

Children being kind to each other. Brothers and sisters helping one another. A child comforting another child when he's hurt. All are wonderful sights. But how does a child become kind and compassionate?

By being taught and witnessing it in the lives of the people he loves. When a child is treated kindly, he learns to respond the same way to others. The same goes for compassion. Here are a few ideas of how you can teach kindness to your kids.

1. When you hear a child crying in the store, don't get annoyed. Tell your child, "It sounds like someone feels sad." This acknowledges the noise, yet links it to an emotion. It makes you and your child feel bad for the sad child instead of yourself.

2. Take your children with you when you visit someone in the hospital. Let them hear the things you say to the patient and see how you gently touch them. Include them in the conversation.

3. When you see a homeless person, stop and give them something. We sometimes make a stop at the dollar store and pick up a few items of food, chapstick, bottled water, combs, etc. and go back to give it to the person. Talking to someone who's different than you takes away some of the mystery and fear of them. When children see and hear a homeless person's surprised and grateful response it impacts them deeply. The needy person's smile will remain in your child's mind long after the actual encounter.

4. Before your child has a friend over, remind her to play things the friend would like to play, to let the friend go first, and to treat the friend as the special guest he or she is.

5. Allow a child to help any way he can. This includes providing comfort to others of any age. Compliment their kindness.

Children can be taught kindness just as we teach them anything else in life. As always, the best teacher is your example, so be consistently kind to others and to your child. Speak gently and be kind through your actions and attitude.

What things have you done to teach your kids to be kind? In what ways have you seen your child being kind or compassionate?

Linda

Disciplining Children With Non-Verbal Cues

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

This week I'm posting some of my most popular posts while I'm preparing for and going on a week's vacation. I hope you enjoy them--again! This one was originally posted July 17, 2012.

Ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall when it comes to disciplining your kids? Seem like nothing you say is heard or obeyed? Maybe it's time to come up with a different discipline strategy. If you're tired of talking and having to say the same things repeatedly, why not try silent discipline?

Start disciplining with nonverbal cues. Sit down with your children and talk honestly with them. Tell them you aren't happy with how the disciplining has been going. Own up to the fact that you may not have been as respectful to them as you should have been, if that's the case. Never mind that they may have been disrespectful to you, too. Apologize and ask their forgiveness. Tell them you're willing to try a different way of discipline if they'll be responsive to it. Explain that you'll use nonverbal cues when you need them to do something differently. Let them help you decide what the cues will be. Here are a few suggestions:

Nonverbal Cue Translation

Hand on child's arm You're talking back, please stop

Shaking head No. That's unacceptable.

Index finger pointing up. Please wait. I'll be right with you.

Hand on heart. I love you.

Thumbs up You're doing great!

Hand up Stop

Index finger to lips Quiet

It may be that your child might like to have some nonverbal cues to use for you, too, such as:

Hand on your arm when you're talking to someone I need to say something.

Finger twirling in the air I have to go to the bathroom.

Tug on his ear I'm bored/I'm ready to go.

Hand cupped behind ear I didn't hear you.

Of course, many parents use standard American Sign Language with their children, too, and find it to be useful, especially for nonverbal children. Using cues ratchets down tension. It keeps parents and kids from yelling at each other and it bonds you because you have a secret code no one else knows. There's power in a loving touch. It conveys so much more than spoken words. Nonverbal cues work beautifully with some, but not all, children. So if you're frustrated with verbal communication with your kids, try it! Even a slight diversion from the norm is a nice break for everyone and it may make your usual form of communication easier to hear if you return to it.

Do you use nonverbal communication or discipline with your children? What are your cues and how do they work?

Linda

Is Online School Right for Your Child?

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Mon, 27 Jun 2016 15:55:00 +0000

This week I'll be posting some of my most popular posts while I'm preparing for and going on a week's vacation. I hope you enjoy them--again! This one was originally posted April 2, 2012.

We're switching our daughter's school next year. Again. This will be the fourth school change since she started kindergarten. She'll be a junior in high school next year, so maybe that's not too bad. But it always seems like a big upheaval when we do.

We don't change schools just for fun. And our daughter has always been in on the decision. Next year will be a big change for us. For the first time, she'll be "going" to a virtual school from home. Here are our main reasons for choosing this option. Maybe you'll relate!
1. A more flexible schedule. We've often been unable to do things we want as a family, or even that she wants to do on her own because her school schedule didn't allow it. At an online school, she can do her school work when it's convenient for her. It can be done in half the time of regular schools, which frees her up to pursue her many other interests.
2. More individualized program. At an online school, she'll work at her own pace in each class. If she has questions, she can still contact her teacher via email, phone or in person, and get the help she needs.
3. Mobile education. If we want to take a trip, she can take her computer with her and do her school work while we're traveling. Or she can work ahead in her classes and not have to do any school work while we're away. Her choice.
4. A more balanced life. Right now school takes up most of her life. Even after school's out, she still has homework to do. If we have activities in the evening it's sometimes hard to fit it all in. Online school will relieve some of the pressure and stress of school life. Sure, it's still a rigorous educational process where she'll have to work hard and learn, but it will be done around our schedule, not the other way around. Who knows? She may even have time for a part-time job!
5. Social life. Unlike myself, my daughter is very social. She loves being with friends of all ages. Many people think being in an online school means you're isolated and can't be with your schoolmates. However, the school we chose has social events where online kids can get to know each other. They have field trips (more than regular schools!) where they get to do fun things together while learning. And in today's world of email, social networking and smart phones, my daughter will always be in contact with her old school friends as well as her new ones. They'll still get together and do things just like they always have. So really, online school will enlarge her social world, not shrink it.
6. A solid education. The school we chose is accredited and uses only certified teachers. It follows our state's guidelines so we know our daughter will get a good education that colleges will accept. She'll have to pass the state testing just like in a regular school. Best of all, it's free! Because it's a public school, it gets funding from the state. It provides everything we'll need for school, including a desktop computer, a stipend to cover Internet expense, books, science lab equipment, and anything else a course would require.

If you're considering a change in schools next year, I'd encourage you to look at online education. We're excited about it and can't wait to start next year!

What schooling method do you use? What are the pros and cons?

Linda

Making Family Memories

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

At my writers critique group, Tuesday's Children, one of our group expressed that her eight-year-old granddaughter was moving back and she wasn't sure what kinds of activities to do with her. She confessed feeling a bit jealous of the other grandma who did extravagant, and even expensive, things with her. How could she compete with that?

The answer? You don't. We decided that what our kids and grandkids need most from us is time, and sometimes just doing ordinary things with us. Our conversation turned to what we do with the children in our lives or what we remember about our own childhoods.

Uno card game

One mentioned that they play Redneck Uno. It's their own made-up version of the card game. Every time someone draws a particular card, they have to come up with a Redneck joke. You know the kind..."You might be a Redneck if... " This has produced lots of laughs and a sense of family within their clan.

Another spoke of how they all love baseball, but cheer for different teams. There's a friendly competitiveness as they root for their players. This family goes to games together, as well as watches them on TV. They know the rules of the game and lots of stats about their teams and their players. They've even been known to plan vacations around visiting baseball fields around the country. Such fun!

One confessed she loved to play poker as a child. Her father was a gambler and she learned to play young. However, she managed to avoid the addiction of gambling and her family enjoys playing the game together with low stakes.

The husband of one of our group reminisces about how he loved fishing with his father. The special time together and the anticipation of the catch was enough to make this a happy memory even though he hates eating fish!

Fishing with dad

My family loves playing games together. Our new favorite is Dutch Blitz, a fast-paced card game. We have also raised our family on Candyland, Monolopy Jr., Skip-Bo, Uno, Go Fish, Scattegories, and Taboo. Another favorite that even the youngest children can play is Spot It!

All these activities foster family unity, fun, and make memories. They don't cost much, except your time. There are so many things to do with children from taking walks, playing at the park, baking cookies, or jumping rope.

What do you like to do with the children in your life? What special memories do you have of time spent with your parents or grandparents?

Linda

Wordless Wednesday - Dandelion Wishes

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 16:03:00 +0000

Linda

26 Weeks Letter Challenge: K

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Mon, 20 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Week eleven of the 26 Weeks Letter Challenge, where I'll post photographs of things that begin with that week's letter. Feel free to play along in the comments or on your own blog. It's a great way to use some of those pictures taking up space in your computer.

K is for:

Kids: Tyler, Ashley, and Jessica

Kitty

Kobi, our super cute dog.

Kindness. Probably one of the most important things on earth.

Happy Monday!

Linda

Breath

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Breath. That one word conjures up so many thoughts. Of course, breath can be good or bad. Breath mint, anyone?

But beyond that, breath is the one thing every living being has, including those in the animal kingdom. Duh. Big deal, right? Well, without it, we're dead. So yeah, it is kind of a big deal.

Consider this:
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. (Genesis 2:7 KJV).

Our breath is the essence of who we are. It is our very soul. It makes us who we are--alive, breathing, vibrant. It is also what makes us so very different from animals. He didn't breathe into the animals to make them alive. He spoke, and they were, just like when he made the sun and light and oceans (Gen. 1:24). But us? He bent down and scooped up some dust and formed us with loving hands. Then He gave us His own breath, sealing us with a life-giving kiss.

Can you even wrap your mind around that? We are made in God's image (Gen. 1:26), breathing His own holy breath. It is on loan to us from our Creator.

Every time we take a breath, we're breathing in God and the life He gives. It's the holiest part of our sinful selves.

Inhale. Exhale.

God is with you and within you. Go into the day with His peace.

Linda

26 Weeks Letter Challenge: J

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Week ten of the 26 Weeks Letter Challenge, where I'll post photographs of things that begin with that week's letter. Feel free to play along in the comments or on your own blog. It's a great way to use some of those pictures taking up space in your computer.

J is for:

Artist/Photographer: Liz Lemon Swindle
Jesus. This picture of Jesus with a child is exactly how I like to
think of Him. Strong, kind, fun, good with kids, old people,
and everyone in between. A guy I'd like to hang out with.

Jell-o. Is there any food that's more versatile?

Jack-o-lanterns. I don't have any of these in my world right now,
But I used to and I loved them.

Jigsaw puzzles. I've always enjoyed doing these.

If I could have found a usable picture of little girls jumping rope, I would have included it as one of my J words. But I couldn't. However, jumping rope when I was a kid, especially with my sister, was one of my favorite activities. We jumped individually with our own ropes, as well as together with one rope. We even learned the elastic Chinese jump ropes, and believed ourselves to be professional level at doing it. Ha! Now we've grown up and aren't jumping much. But I'll never forget those glory days!

Linda

Thursday Doors - Kilauea Lighthouse - June 9, 2016

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Because I love beautiful or unique doors, I decided to play along with Norm's Thursday Doors Challenge this week. As his blog states, "Thursday Doors is a weekly feature allowing door lovers to come together to admire and share their favorite door photos from around the world." He encourages bloggers to post door photos on our blogs between Thursday and Saturday and then link them to his blog so we can see each others' beautiful doors.

This is the Kilauea Lighthouse in Kauai, Hawaii. I love it's gray, metal doors.

Linda

Wordless Wednesday - Cabo San Lucas Weaver

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Linda

Timeless Tuesday - Unrush Me

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Sometimes I find myself rushing from one task or activity to another. When I find myself in too much of a rush mode, I try to stop, take a breath, and regroup.

Life isn't meant to be rushed through.

When we rush, our stress levels rise. Often, we become less patient with those around us. We may even try to hurry them up, too, which usually just causes more stress and irritability.

So let's try to slow down. Absorb the moments that make up your life. They don't have to be spectacular to be meaningful. Get back your joy. Let go of that frantic, always-one-step-behind feeling. Because what are we rushing to? Our certain deaths? Thanks, but I can wait for that. One slow, unhurried step at a time for me.

May your day be slow, unhurried, and filled with previously unseen beauty and wonder.

Linda

26 Weeks Letter Challenge: I

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Week nine of the 26 Weeks Letter Challenge, where I'll post photographs of things that begin with that week's letter. Feel free to play along in the comments or on your own blog. It's a great way to use some of those pictures taking up space in your computer.

I is for:

Internet! Where would any of us be without this?

Introvert. This is my grandson. He takes after his Grammy.

Intelligence

Ice. When you live in Arizona, its importance cannot be overstated.

Investment. Men and women who have invested and sacrificed their lives for our freedom.

Linda

Share Your World - 2016 Week 21

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Fri, 03 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

I'm participating in Cee's Share Your World Challenge today.

What is your favorite go to beverage? Water, coffee, tea, coke, soda (non-alcoholic)

The beverage I drink most of is water. It's a must living in the Arizona desert. But it's not necessarily my favorite. I love iced tea, especially with a packet of Stevia or Equal in it. That would probably be my favorite, but I try not to drink it that much or it keeps me awake at night. I never drink soda at home, but I drink it sometimes when I'm at a restaurant, especially if it's fast food. Then I always choose Diet Coke, caffeine-free if they have it.

Can you change a car tire?

Sure can. When I was a teenager, my dad insisted I learn to change a flat tire before I could get my license. It was just part of learning to be a responsible driver. I've been grateful ever since, though I've seldom had to do it. But it feels good to know I could if I had to.

Are you a listener or a talker?

I'm more of a listener, though I can be a pretty good talker if I'm with people I know. But my natural bent tends toward quiet introversion.

Would you rather have no internet or no cell phone?

No cell phone, please. I hate talking on the phone and might never do it if I could get away with it. If I ever call you, you know you're in my circle of closest friends or family. Now texting? That's a whole nother story. I don't mind that a bit. But I could live without it. But no internet would be like cutting off a limb.

Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?
I'm grateful my daughter and her family got moved back safely to my state and now live only ten minutes away. Bliss!

I'm looking forward to a family gathering at my house on Memorial Day. We're grilling burgers and hot dogs and everyone's bringing a side dish or dessert. It will be the first time we're all together in almost a year-and-a-half. Did I mention how over the moon I am that my daughter and family are back?!

Linda

Thoughtful Thursday - Hurting

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Thu, 02 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Hey, we've all been hurt. Many times. Sometimes brutally. Sometimes subtly. Maybe by a stranger. Maybe by our closest friend. It never feels good.

But here's the truth. Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for our sins--yours, mine, and that person's who hurt you--is enough. It's bigger, stronger, more powerful than the hurt we experienced. It's enough to help you heal and move forward into a positive future.

And if I'm being honest, sometimes I've been the one who hurt someone. I was that person. What Jesus did by dying for me is so undeserved, but I accept the gift of His forgiveness. It reminds me how frail I am, how utterly hopeless some days. But Jesus covers it all. He gives me worth.

If Jesus can extend a hand of grace, forgiveness, and love to the very ones who hung him naked on that cross, surely I can do the same in my own small way to those who hurt me.

I refuse to let the sin I've done, or the sin that's been done to me, dictate who I am or how I behave. Instead, I choose to release it into the hands of the One who can mold my sin and hurt into something beautiful, and in turn, make my life beautiful through it.

Don't allow what has been done to you to become bigger than what Jesus did for you. Choose to live in grace, not wallow in grudges.

Linda

Wordless Wednesday - Old Flip Flops

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Wed, 01 Jun 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Linda

Timeless Tuesday - Training Little Humans

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Tue, 31 May 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Well, isn't that the truth?!

We go into parenting with the best of intentions. We fantasize about the snuggles, the love, the soft pastels, the baby smiles, sparkling eyes, and velvety skin. And that's exactly how it should be. It's even part of the reality of parenting. Is there anything that gives more joy than seeing your children grow and thrive?

But parenting, while wonderful, is also grueling. It requires superhuman stamina and strength. It truly can boggle the mind. It can overwhelm, if we're not careful. There's so much to do, to teach, to undo, to clean.

Yet millions of people do it, and do it well, every day. You folks are my heroes.

Every time I hear a parent affirm their child in a store I want to stop and applaud.
When I see a child and parent laughing together, I smile and silently enter into their joy.
When I notice a mom knelt down eye to eye with her child calmly explaining why his behavior was unacceptable, I want to give her a trophy.
Every time a parent sticks a band-aid on a knee and seals it with a kiss...
When a child is picked up from school and greeted with a hug and a smile...
When a dad lifts a child to ride on his shoulders...
When a family throws a baseball together at the park...
When sheets are quietly changed in the night due to a sick or bed-wetting child...
When appointments with doctors, teachers, lessons are kept...
When applause is given after childrens' concert performances or sporting events...
When you help with homework every. single. day.
When you take your brood to church and get nothing out of the sermon because you're too busy keeping everyone occupied...
When you hide treats in your bedroom just for you and not for the little humans...
When you change the umpteenth diaper today and it's only noon...
When you can't get your teenager to get up in time for school...

All these little everyday things are the nitty-gritty of parenting. It gets tiring. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but all these things matter. They all add up to the strong foundation your child needs to build his life. Support, unconditional love, correction, encouragement, time spent together just having fun. They all matter.

Does it go right every day? Far from it. But that's okay, too, because our kids need to see that we're not perfect and we need grace, too. We need each other. We need Jesus and the forgiveness He gives.

So here's to all of you who are training little humans. I see you. God sees you. Hang in there. You're doing great.

Linda

Share Your World - 2016 Week 12

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Fri, 27 May 2016 07:30:00 +0000

In response to Cee's Photography Share Your World Challenge.

Wanting something to quench your thirst, what would you drink?
I'd drink water. I try to drink at least two twenty-four ounce water bottles each day. But otherwise, my answer would be iced tea or Diet Coke.

What made you feel good this past week?
Seeing my daughter and her family again. They just moved back in the area after living out of state for two years. So thankful to have them close again.

When you’re alone at home, do you wear shoes, socks, slippers, or go barefoot?
I wear either flip-flops or my soft, flip-flop slippers. I like to call them flipper-slippers. I used to be a barefoot girl, but my feet hurt now when I go barefoot. Stupid aging.

Would you rather live where it is always hot or always cold?

I love the heat, which is a good thing since I live in Arizona. So always hot for me!

Linda

Thoughtful Thursday - True Beauty

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Thu, 26 May 2016 07:30:00 +0000

There have been times when I see someone in a store and think they're beautiful. Then I hear the horrible way they speak to their spouse or children and my opinion instantly changes.

Words matter.

The words we speak, the words we write, even the words we think. They impact us and everyone who hears them, even if those words aren't aimed at them. We don't often stop to realize how much we affect the people around us. But we do, intentionally or not.

Just today a Facebook friend who I have never met messaged me. She said, "I love your energy and the value you add to my Facebook feed." Really? They're just words. Sometimes pictures. They aren't aimed directly at her. But they mattered.

We sometimes think our words don't carry that much weight. But when we see them written on skin, like in the picture above, we might begin to see the message we send to the world. Or those closest to us.

Is your message one of love, peace, joy, encouragement? Or is it a negative message? We have choices about the vibe we share with the world around us. Every time we open our mouths, it's an opportunity to uplift and make the world a better place.

Take inventory of your speech today. Make any changes necessary to ensure your words positively impact the world and those around you. It's a responsibility and privilege we can share with each other. Be beautiful with your words.

Linda

Wordless Wednesday - Kauai Street Art

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Wed, 25 May 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Linda

Timeless Tuesday - Courage to Try New Things

noreply@blogger.com (Linda McQuinn Carlblom) — Tue, 24 May 2016 07:30:00 +0000

I just got back from crossing the ocean to and from Hawaii. I didn't feel it took much courage to do that.

But I've done new things that did take courage. Like the time two years ago that I hung up my fear of heights and went zip-lining with my husband in Maui. Scary? You'd better believe it. Glad I did it? Absolutely. The scenery was spectacular and I love that I can say now that I did it. It's a wonderful memory.

I also went parasailing on our honeymoon 25 years ago. What? That's not me! But I did it and I'm so glad I lost sight of the shore to experience that.

But there have been things less dramatic that have taken so much more courage than I could have imagined. Like releasing the small hand of my child on that first day of school. Or letting my teen go on a mission trip so she could lose sight of her own shore. Or not intervening when I knew my child was on the wrong path, but knowing they needed to learn the hard lessons that road would teach them.

Sometimes we have to remember that even though we can't see the safety of the shore any more, God can. And He controls the waves that crash on it. Not only does He see the big picture, He also sees every seashell, crab, and grain of sand. Which means He sees me, my circumstance, and my children. With that knowledge, we can take courage and do those new things with confidence.

Go ahead. Cross that ocean.

What courageous new thing have you tried? Tell me about it in the comments.

Linda