POPULAR CURRENT SMS

Hubby n wife jokes

2010-08-29T06:20:00.000-07:00

He Jokes
One said, 'My wife gets irritated very soon, even a small thing starts her off.The other said, 'U are lucky! Mine is a self-starter!'
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A man complained about having had two unhappy marriages. His first wife divorced him and his second wife wouldn't.
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Wife runs into home telling,
Pack your bag honey,
I won 10 millions in lottery.
Husband: Do I pack for beach or hills?
Wife: Who cares?
Just pack n get lost!:-D
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In a Bar, a man attended a phone call:
Hello! Yes Honey.
Wife: Darling, I'am in a shopping mall. Shall I buy Jewellery worth Rs. 1 LAKH?
Man: Sure Honey.
Wife: 1 Silk-Saree worth Rs. 20000 dear, shall I?
Man: One saree not enough honey, tak 1 more.
Wife:Ok dear, I hv ur credit-card. Shall I use now?
Man:Sure, with pleasure.
All frnz asked him aftr he put down his mobile: U luv ur wife dis much?
Man:"EXCUSE ME, WHO's MOBILE IS THIS"?
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JOKE OF THE DAY

Psychology ka practical ho rha tha...
Professor ne 1 Chuhe K Liye
ek taraf cake Aur dusri taraf chuhiya rakh di..
Chuha fauran Cake Ki taraf lapka..
Dusri baar cake ko badal kr roti rakhi,
Chuha roti ki taraf lapka.
Is tarah kai baar Food Item badle,
Magar Chuha har baar food ki taraf bhaaga..
Professor: bus saabit ho gya k bhookh hi sbse badi taaqat h..
Itne me last row se ek awaaz ayi: "sir ji ek baar chuhiya bhi badal kr dekh lo"....

A couple got 2 movie tickets in d mail, with msg 'Guess from whom?' They went 4 d movie n when they came back,the house was robbed. There was a msg 'From me!'
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1970
Dulha Dahej Me Tv Mangta Tha.
1980
Motor Cycle.
1990
Plot.
2000
Ac N Car.
2010
Bas 1st hand dulhan dena...!!!
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2 much Insult

2010-06-27T03:14:00.000-07:00

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
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sum times smal thngs in life hurts a lot.. If u dont agree vth me . . . . . . . . . . . . TRY 2 SIT ON A PIN...:)
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U r 20% Fantastic, U r 20% Attractive, U r 20% Loveable, U r 20% Terific, U r 20% Understandable, Inshort U r 100& F.A.L.T.U.
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U r Sweet like TOM, Cute like JERRY, Naughty like BUGS BUNNY, Strong like POPEYE, Innocent like Tweety, In short, U r Complete CARTOON
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Dis is my leg ___ ____) . . . How Nice u Press My Leg thanx.. I m feeling much better now.
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INSULT SMS OF THE DAY
No visits... No cals... No sms... No letters... No missed calls... Im worried... R u in jail again?

Walk in ur own path, Love in ur own Style, Talk in Ur own Words Help in Ur own Ways then people vl Say u r a DUMB GUY!
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There is a Sayin If u want 2 b Gr8, U must walk vth Gr8 People, Seriously, I Hav no Objection, U can Walk vth Me!
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im stil watchng ur evry moment 4rm 3 diff Sources. 1.Cartoon network 2.Animal planet 3.National Geo
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I heard tat gud luks can kil. . . . So,pls dont luk at me . . . . I dont wanna c u die!!!
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I saw U on ROAD 2day.U were lukin SO fine,Ur face sO dvine,Ur walk SO perfect.My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET DA DOGS OUT!
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Lost in a zoo I saw many animals.. Mouse BIRD Monkey haila...! U 2
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Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic? No??? Quickly see your driving license.
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Press Down if u thnk u r MAD. I cant Blieve u did tat! Again? 4 God Sake! LORD!! y u still doing it? Truth is out now! MENTAL CASE!!
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Somtimes,my mind asks.y I miss u?y I care 4 u?y I remember u?y I text u?Then my heart answred,Mongoloids need more care! Hehehe.u r smiling
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Taste dis SMS Did u feel da taste of ginger? No? Sure? Well.... MONKEY COULDNT TASTE IT WELL
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U r equal 2 60 James Bond! How ??? 007 * 60 = 420
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U r one of da most CUTE person in da world!! Cool,dont misunderstand. CUTE means: Creating Useless Troubles Evrywhere...
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Som One.. MiSSES U.. NeeDS U.. Worries Abt U Lonely vthout U Guess Who? THE MONKEY IN ...THE ZOO...
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"CONGRATS" U hav bn awarded an M.B.A Degree 4 not Smsing me. MBA means 'Member of Bhikari Association' Kindly 4ward it 2 al M.B.A's
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How 2 keep an idiot entertained *press down* ...... ... .. ........ ..... ......... .. .... How 2 keep an idiot entertained *press up*
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Insult sms

2010-06-27T03:10:00.000-07:00

Ek Bandariya Apni Maa Se Boli Mera Dulha Kaha Hai?Please Meri Shadi Kardo. Maa Boli Abhi Tera Dulha SMS PADH RAHA HAI, AGAR MUSKURAYA TO SHADI PAKKI!
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<('.')>
/"/
./"L
YEH HAI BASANTI
AB YEH NACHEGI..
NACHI KYA..
SORRY, tum bhul rahe ho ki, BASANTI KUTTO KE SAMNE NAHI NAChti...
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Lab khamosh ho jate hain jab aap samne aate hain,
Dil dhadakta hai jb aap nigahe milate hain
sanse rukti hai jb aap muskurate hain.
Bhoot hain kya?
Jo itna darate hain.
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Chand Par Aapka Naam Likhne Ko Ji Chahta Hai,
Lekin,
Pehli Baat To Ye Hai K Mera Hath Nahi Jata Hai,
Dusri Baat Ye K Ye Khayal Hamesha Dopahar Mein Aata Hai
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Agar,
Aap,Ladkiyon,
Se,Humesha,
Ghire,
Rahna,
Chahte,
Hain,To. . .?
??
???
Tikki, batashe ka thela laga lo....
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A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z isme 1 missing h
Do bar padte ho sharam nahi aati A B C D .....me 1 kaha aata h?
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Khud ko bahut hoshiyar samajte ho na. Ab agar aap inteligent ho to is sawal ka jawab sirf ha ya na me dena.
"MANDIR SE CHAPPAL CHURANA BAND KAR DIYA"
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Hai
smart
bohat
woh
hai
bheja
ne
jis
aur
hoon
raha
padh
se
niche
ko
msg
jo
hu
stupid
woh
mai
confused?;
Ab niche se upar padho..
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Wo chand si ladki Zulfen uski kali,
Uski chal aisi,
Mano hirni si matwali.
Uski hr ada Is jahan se nirali,
Par tu kya karega
Wo ladki to maine patali.
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Take 1 spoon of Sugar & Put it in yr eyes..
Kyon?
Arre baba!
For "Sweet Dreams"
If u want hot n spicy dreams
Try Chilli Powder..!!
Very effective:-)
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Gov't of INDIA has introduced a NEW RULE:-)Gud looking people should be thrown out of the country! Congrats-U' r safe?But,pliz HELP ME,where shud i hide?ha hah ..
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U R So SMART.
U Look GORGEOUS.
U Should Try 4 MODELLING.
U Will B Next GENERATION SUPERSTAR.
.
.
.
.
For MORE JOKES
Cal 98156117 n Say JOKES
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They my They my

They my They my They my

They my They my.

AAGE JAO

They my

They my

They my

Are bola na chillar nai hai aage jao..
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HI!Hi!
where r u?
R u free tomorrow?
Can u come 2
south X?
B Coz,
tomorrow v r opening a new
"MENTAL HOSPITAL"
& v need a mental patient 2 inagurate.dnt mind
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I'm Bevakuf, I'm fool, I'm paagal, I'm idiot, I'm nalayak, I'm ullu. Are Dheere bolo,Yaha tak awaz aa rahi hai..
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Kya aap switzrland jana chahte ho?
waha jakr 5 star hotel me stay krna chahte ho? visit kjiye hmari web site.
www.apni aukat me
raho.com.. ha ha ha ha....
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Dil ne kaha dost ko SMS karna hai...!
Phir khayal ayaa k dil to pagal hai...!
Phir socha dil agar pagal hai to kya hua...!
Mera dost konsa normal hai...!:-)
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Gud Morning

2010-06-27T01:22:00.000-07:00

Why the sun sets and rise every day ????Socho socho !??So that u can wish good morning and good evening to your loving ones!
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Good morning MY DEAR. Do U know what is MY DEAR... M-Myself Y-Yield D-Deeply & E-Emotionally to A-An R-Rare person, that is U.
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Sun spread rays,star close eyes, moon windup his cool brightness, open your eyes and spread smile to make day bright. Good Morning
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*Grass is Shining vth Mrng Dew* *Making da Day So Fresh & New* *Hope da Joy coms ur Way* *Best vshes 4 da New Day*
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Arise & shine coz you were half dead during the night but the rise of the sun has given you a new start. Good morning
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on this cool cool morning in u r sweet sweet room I send a sun to wish u gudmrng.
A breeze has awakened da Earth, n sun has coloured our world. da birds hav added music 2 da mrng. Gud Mrng!
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Actual Meaning of Morning is "More+Inning" Means 1 more inning given by God to Play n Win. So vry Gud Mrng n hav a lovly winning Day.
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Evry sunset gves us, 1day less 2 live! But evry sunrise gve us, 1day more 2 hope! So,hope 4 da Best. Gud Day Gud Luck! n Gud Mrng
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If time doesnt wait 4 U, Dont Worry! Remove da Battery 4rm da Clock n n joy Life! Gr8 People Gr8 Thoughts GUD MRNG!
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A Morning is a 1derful Blessing,either Cloudy r Sunny.It stands 4 Hope,givng us another start of wat v call Life.Gud Day!
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Mornings are refreshing like friendship, it may not stay all day long, but for sure it comes forever every day. Good Morning.
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Wen u Start ur Day,keep 3words in ur pocket: TRY,TRUE and TRUST.. TRY : 4 Better future. TRUE: Vth ur Work. TRUST: in God. GUD MRNG...
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I made a cup of tea, Special for U. There is no sugar, but the sender is sweet. Good Morning
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welcome every day as a new day, special day, good day, wondwerful day and happy day. enjoy every part of the whole day.
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As u rise up to start a nu dy may the glory of God guide u and bring u to ur blessings. gud morning.
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If You Can, Help Others....... If You Cannot Do That, At least Do Not Harm Them.... Good Morning Have Nice Day
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Good Morning SMS

2010-06-27T01:19:00.000-07:00

R u waiting fr my msg..!
I know..
.-¤-.
( '.' )
=(,,)=(,,)=
Cho Chweet..
Dnt wory..
Hw cn i forget..
2 wish u...Gud morning
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,@,
@@@
(;;;;;;))
\;;!;; /
\ j /
\ /
\/
ice-cream 4 u
zayada mat muskurao
Agar himmat hai to kha ke dikhao:-):-)
Gud mor:-)
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//// Hmm.
( "._." )
>")("< ,,(")("),,, Main chhota baby shabse nalaaj hu muje koi achmech nai bhejta Aajse Chaare achmech band KATTI KATTI...
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Apki har subh muskurati rhe:-),apki har sham gungunati rhe,B-)aap mujse jab bhi mile is tarh se mile..ke jab aap mere pas na ho muje apki yaad aati rhe:-Gudmorng..
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When we wake up in the morng, we have two simple choices go back to sleep and dreeam, or wake up and chase those dreams. Gud Mrng & Have A Gud Day!
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A true relation is not like ,' ,' Rain',' ', which comes & goes away A True relation is Like = _Air_ =_ = Sometimes Silent But Always Around U:-) Gudmrng..
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G-Get up,O-Open ur eyes,O-Out of ur bed,D-Day has risen,M-Mobile beeps, O-One msg receiv,R-Read & joy,N-Never mind I- It's just N-New way2wish G-Gud Mrng.
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Sun wouldn't be red,Sea wouldn't be blue,I wouldn't be happy,Without disturbing you..:-) gud morning.
---------------------------- .
Raat ne chadar samet li hai, suraj ne kirne bikher di hai, chaliye uthiye or shukriya kijiye us KHUDA ko jisne hamey itni PYAARI see subah di hai.Good morning
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Hawao k hath ek ArmaN bheja hai, Roshni ke Zariye ek Paigam bheja hai.. Fursat mile to kabul kar lena is,NacheeZ ne subah ka SalaaM bheja hai.. GooD MorninG. .
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,.+""-., ,.-""+, G( -_-)(-_-)D +Morning+ ""-.,?,.-"" Have a wonderful Morning with a great big smile on your face. G( '.' )( '.' )D M(-_-)RNING....
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Say E, Say EE, Say EEE, Say EEEE, Say EEEEEE, Say EEEEEEEE, Say EEEEEEEEEEEE, Very Good! Now go and BRUSH UR TEETH. Good Morning
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Subah SMS Sham SMS Din M SMS Rat M SMS Ghar M SMS Office M SMS Jena SMS Marna SMS Akhir Kya H Y SMS..?? S=SABKO M=MOHABBAT Se S=Sataao..!! gud morning..
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Whatever is warm & inspiring; whatever means most to you; whatever makes you smile & brings you joy that is what I wish for U. Gud morning..
--------------------------
%*;?
*;%*;*
*;*;%*% "Fresh
)__( Fløwers
(_____) før yøu"....
AAPKI HAR SUBAH INN PHØØLØÑ KI TARAH MEHKTI RAHE.
GØØD MØRÑIÑG ...
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('_' )

( '_')

('_' )

( '_')

('_' )

( '_')

('_' )

JITNA MARzi dhond lo, per MERe jaisa kahin nahi miLEGa..Gud morning
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Q n A Jokes

2010-06-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

Q n A Jokes
Q- Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
A- They're hard to get started, emit foul odours, and don't work half the time!
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Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE. . . . . . . . Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
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Wat is 143? I luv u no i mis u? no i hate u no 143 means One Hundred Forty Three.
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Q- Why do women live longer than men?
A- Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does.
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Q: Why is Sardarji standing below A tube light with a open mouth? A: Because his Doctor advised Him Today's Dinner Should be Lite:-)

JOKE OF THE DAY

Y dogs dont marry? Becos they r already leading a dog's life!

How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ? Sardarji thinks N thinks hard n coms 2 a conclusion, I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.
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Impact of Movies: Teacher:Who is Mahatma Gandhi? Student: He is da 1 who helped Munna Bhai 2 impress his galfriend!
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Examiner:y r u under tension? Did u 4get admit card,ID,r calculator? studnt:No Sir! By mistake i hav brought 2morrow exam slip 2day...
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Teacher: if A=B,B=C then A=C can u tell 1 more example of dis type Student : I luv my teacher,teacher luvs her gal,so i luv her gal
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Wife:Wat is 10 yrs vth me? Husband:A second. Wife: Wat is $1000 4 me? Husband:A coin. Wife: Ok gve me a coin. Husband: Wait a sec ?
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Bro: When I get mad at u,u never fi8 bak.How u control ur anger? Sis: I clean da toilet. Bro: How it helps? Sis: I use ur toothbrush.
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Wich are da most Powerful 3 Words other than I LOVE YOU? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? "RESULTS ARE COMING"
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Wat is a Mobile? ? ? ? ? ? ? R U looking for answer ? ? ? ? ? Wat is in ur Hand is it a CHAPPAL STUPID!!!
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Ques: Wat is da most Dangerous Position in wich 2 Sleep. Ans: Its Wen u Sleep vth ur feet on ur Office Desk...
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Wat is Pure n Simple Defnition Of ACCOUNTING? 1 + 1 = 2 (In Pvt Sector) 1 + 1 = 11 (In Govt Sector)
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y women Luv gold more than men? . . . . . . Because gold has 24 carrot whereas man has only one carrot.
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Sardar found da ans 2 da most difficult ques ever: Wat vl com 1st,Chicken r egg? O Yaar,wat ever U order 1st,vl com 1st
---------------------
Q- When a man banged his head on a doorframe and sued, what did his lawyer advise?
A- To settle for a LUMP SUM.
--------------------
Q-Which is the thinnest book in the world?
A-The one titled What Men Know About Women.
--------------------
Q-Why did the foolish couple stop after 3 children?
A-They heard that 1 in every 4 children born in this world is deaf!

Funny SMS & Jokes Collection

2008-09-27T06:41:00.000-07:00

बंता:संता सिंह जी!..ये खड्डा किसलिए खोदा जा रहा है?"

संता:ओ!..कुछ नहीं जी मुझे अमेरिका जाना है ना...इसलिए"

बंता:अमेरिका जाना है?"

संता:हाँ जी!.."

बंता:अमेरिका जाने के लिए खड्डा खोदना जरूरी है?

संता:ओ!..कर दी ना तूने अनाडियों वाली गल्ल...

बेवाकूफ पॉसपोर्ट बनवाने के लिए फोटो चाहिए होती है कि नहीं?

बंता:फोटो तो चाहिए होती है लेकिन...फोटो से खड्डे का क्या कनैक्शन है?

संता:अरे बेवाकूफ!पॉसपोर्ट फोटो में कमर के ऊपर का हिस्सा आना चाहिए...

इसलिए कमर तक गहरे खड्डे खोद रहा हूँ ताकि नीचे का हिस्सा कैमरे में न आए

बंता:लेकिन यहाँ तो आप आलरैडी तीन खड्डे पहले ही खोद चुके हो...फिर ये चौथा क्यों?

संता:बेवकूफ पॉसपोर्ट में चार फोटो लगानी पडती हैँ"
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Pagal khane me sare Pagal dance kar rahe the. 2 pagal khamosh baithe the. DR.ko lga ye theek ho gaye.. DR:tum chup kyu ho? Pagal: Shh..hum to Dulha-dulhan hain.
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Santa: Yaar Ans sheet par sabse phle kya likhu?
Banta: Yhi k IS SHEET PAR LIKHE GYE ANS KALPNIK He JINKA KISI B BOOK SE KOI SMBANDH NAHI Hai:-)
-----------------------------------------------------
Jung me Sardar ne bullet proof jacket ki jagah
Macher dani pehan li
Major-Aisa Q.
Sardar-Jis me macher nai
ghus Sakta us me goli kaise Ghusegi....;
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1 sharabi roz shiv mandir mien sir tekta tha, 1 din pujari ne shiv k jagah Ganesh ki murti rakhi, Sharabi aya sir teka bola chotu..papa se bolna uncle aye the.!
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Biwi ko thappad marne k baad PATI BOLA- admi use hi marta h,jise wo pyar karta hai.Biwi ne bhi 2-4 thappad mare or boli-Aap kya smjhte ho,mai apse pyar nhi karti.
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*.SSC + HSC + BMS/BBA + MBA = UNEMPLOYMENT

An Idea + An Idiot = A Dotcom

Sushmita Sen - 2.2 feet > Salman Khan

Special Effects in Shampoo ads > Special effects in Jurassic park

4 weeks in Switzerland + London + New Zealand = 4 minute song in Bollywood

One engagement +Two wedding +Three wedding songs + Four hundred relatives +A house bigger than Buckingham Palace = One Sooraj Barjataya Film

Ajay Devgan + cosmetic surgery + acting ability + personality + own production company = Kajol

Rona dhona x Bewafai x Badle ki aag = Your mum's favourite serials

Star Movies - Rerun + Good Movies = HBO

Amitabh Bachchan - Mrityudaata + Kaun Banega Crorepati = A SUPERSTAR

Amitabh Bachchan + Jaya Bachchan = Abhishek Bachchan - Talent
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*.*Doctor **: Ab aapki tabiyat kaisi hai. **

Patient : **Doctor saheb Pehle se jyada kharab ho gayi hai.**

Doctor : **dawai khali thi kya?**

Patient :** Nai doctor saheb. dawai ki shishi to bhari hui thi.**

Doctor : **Are Sir ji mere kehne ka matlab hai ki, dawai le li thi
kya.**

Patient : **Ji, aapne dawai de di thi aur maine le li thi.**

Doctor: **Abe, dawai pili thi kya?**

Patient :** Oho, nai doctor saheb dawai to lal thi.**

Doctor :** Abe GADHE, Dawai ko piliya tha kya?**

Patient :** Nai. Doctor, Piliya to mujhe tha.**

Doctor( in frustration) :** Abe teri to, Dawai ko muh lagakar Pet me
dala
tha k nai?**

Patient :** Nai doctor saheb.**

Doctor : **Kyon?**

Patient :** Kyonki dhakkan band tha.**

Doctor :** Teri sale, to Khola kyon nai.**

Patient :** Saheb, aapne hi to kaha tha ki, shishi ka dhakkan band
rakhna.**

Doctor : **Tera ilaz main nai kar sakta.!**

Patient : **Accha Doctor saheb ye to bata do ki main thik kaise
hounga***
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A jatt, 'who was learning how to speak English', introduces his family at a party,
"Hi ! I am a JAT,
This is my JATNI,
He is my KID,
&
She is my KIDNEY".
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Custmar - ji lassi me makkhi hai.
Dhabewala sardar - oye dil bada rakh ,.... ye nanhi si jaan teri kitni lassi pee jayegi. Kanjoos kahi ka.....
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@Aaj Mene 1 Jaan Bachai Mene 1 Ldke Se Pucha Agar I LOVE U KahuTo Kya Kroge @ Ldka:Kushi se Mar Jaunga @ Maine Kaha:Ja Nhi Kehti JeeLe Apni jindgi.
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HIGHT OF CUTENES Child 2 d Sales Grl in a Swets Shop: Wil u marry me wen i grw up? Girl smild n said:Ys Child:Can u giv ur Future Husbnd a free Chocolate...
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Santa ki beti : papa kal apke ghr se ek member kam ho jaega.
Nxt day santa ki beti bhag jati hai.
Santa: ladki ne kam to galat kiya par thi wo jyotishi ...
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Sahukar apni Biwi se-HATA lo apne chehre se yeh Zulfein ae
jaan-e-tamanna.
KHUDA KASAM
Agli baar Khaane mein baal AAYA to SAJNI se GAJNI bana dunga!
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