Hunter's Diversions

Well, Haven't Seen this Place in a While.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 22:30:00 +0000

Man, I've really been slacking on this haven't I? Sorry for that. I know how much this blog means to you. It's just that this last month had become extremely busy for me. I work 50+ hours a week. Monday nights I attend a Bible Institute being sponsored by the church at which I am a member. (You grammar people have to appreciate the way I ended that sentence.) Wednesday night is children's church for my kids. Thursday night is my care group. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it's a small group from church that meets weekly to study the Bible or other aspects of our faith. Friday nights I have to take my kids to their mom's which is a forty minute drive each way. And every other Friday night is my men's accountability group where we discuss out shortcomings and triumphs, eat, play video games, and just generally act like guys. Saturday's I work in the morning and then have the afternoon to myself. Sunday's start and end with church. Worship service in the morning, and youth group in the evening with making lunch and doing laundry at home in between. Now that all of the excuses are out of the way, I want to do a better job of keeping this up to date. That's where you come in. I want to post at least once a week, so I need you to get on me if Friday rolls around and I don't have something new up yet. Yeah, I know this isn't standard procedure for a blog, but hey, how often have you known me to do anything normal?

Okay, so we've got that out of the way. Onto what you really came here for; unparalleled writing, unsurpassed humor, and unlimited insight.

But before that, I'd like to address a concern that you may be having. You may have noticed my blogs have drifted away from the outdoor pursuits over the last few months. The reason for that is simple. I haven't been doing them for the past few months. This blog is called Hunter's Diversions. The hunter is me, and I write about my diversions, which happen to be many. Now that that is cleared up, let's move on.

I have decided to add the second installment of my interview series. Does two make it a series? Yes. Now stop asking silly questions. My interview this week is with master thespian and critically acclaimed artist Jack Matych.

HD: So, Mr. Matych, how did you first become interested in acting?

Remember in the older days of television when the opening titles of the show started and everyone always knew where the camera was and smile, or make a goofy face and shrug? It was somewhere around then. I was a really shy kid for a very long time. But I would find the time and make my smile face or goofy face and shrug to a vent plate on the door to the basement of my Grandparents house. For me, that vent was the thing the TV people were always smiling or making goofy faces and shrugging to. Sometimes I would even shake it up a bit and give a thumbs up and smile like I was the Fonz or something.

HD: And when did you make your first appearance on stage?

There are two technical answers to this. My first technical appearance on stage would be when I played Jesus for a church play when I was a kid. I don't fully remember why, but at some point things kind of got wooden on stage with the singing kids and they asked me to go out and dance to the music and I went out dressed as Jesus doing a dance resembling the cabbage patch. Not sure if it ever went with the song, though.
The second technical appearance would be when I had arranged a puppet show for the D.A.R.E. show the school was putting on when I was going to White Cloud schools. I used to arrange puppet shows and do sketch comedy in the fifth grade before we moved. I even made a "movie" to show the class as well. I think I still have that tape somewhere. I taped Ghostbusters on TV right after it. I should go find that tape!

HD: At what point did you realize your immense talent may have a negative affect on the bit actors and peons around you?

I can't help it, I'm just so awesome. Actually, that's my new mantra, "I know, I'm awesome!" I don't necessarily think I have any sort of negative effect on the actors around me. But we do have a crack team of scientists working on measuring the effect of my ability to vibrate really fast when I drink too much coffee...I really must stop doing that.

HD: You took a leave of absence from the stage. Why?

I fell into a black hole and floated around in the void of space for five years, only to emerge with a home of my own and happily married shortly after.

The lesson: My stomach is sensitive to sausage.

But I am now right back where I was then, with a few things in my favor over last time. Always wanting to get back in front of people and be myself and make 'em laugh. I wasn't feeling so funny in the black hole.

HD: And now that you're back?

I have a lot of work to do. Getting back on stage is part of what I am currently working on. I'm also trying to invent a way to make my hair seem thicker, though it's really not.

HD: What should we expect in the coming years from Jack Matych?

Right now, something I am keeping secret. I plan to let everyone know what I am working on very soon.

HD: Tell me about your current project.

I have been working on a Buck Moon comic book over the last couple of years, and thinking about looking into making them available through the digital markets like the newsstand on itunes and the nook store, etc.
I do have some film plans right now as well, but currently all I can tell you is it isn't Buck Moon...entirely. It's the secret project I'm working on.

HD: Let's move on to your artwork. How did you discover your talent as an artist?

I doodled all the time. I would try and draw the characters in the sunday comics on the floor of my Grandparents house after school most days. I still doodle. But I was probably around 8 or 9.

HD: Other than Mike VanLoon, who would you list as your greatest inspirations as artists?

Mike VanLoo-, oh, you said OTHER than Mike VanLoon. Well I have read MAD magazine for a very long time...A VERY long time. So my earliest inspirations came from Drucker, Aragones, Prohias, Berg. Later I had a lot of appreciation for artists like Van Gogh, Hopper (Nighthawks is a personal favorite of mine), and Ross...Just gonna paint that happy little bush there.
I think greatest inspiration came from John Byrne, one of my absolute favorite comic artists and writers of all time.

HD: Which of your works do you view as having the most impact? I know that's a difficult question to answer considering the magnitude of your contribution to the art world.

I don't know about any of my work that exists outside of my home which has made any real impact on anything that I am aware of. I mostly used pencils and paints. But mostly pencils. No need for an impact wrench. I'm not that kind of artist.

HD: How does the artist Jack co exist with the actor Jack?

I hate myself and he hates me. I think that makes it funny. But I'm feeling much better now.

HD: Well sir, I thank you deeply for your time. I know my readers will appreciate your wit and insight as much as I do.

Well I was happy to contribute, good sir. May the road rise up to meet you, I think is how it goes. If not, it sounded good and I hope you all enjoyed it.

You be the Judge

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 18:58:00 +0000

My victim is not even aware of my presence. My foot steps go unnoticed as I cross the field, my feet sinking slightly into the black soil. My hands grasp my victim and my blade hacks through the soft tissue. My steel rends the vessels that provided life and vitality. Life flows from the un-moving form in my hands. The only sound...my breath. The organism that once held so much life, withers.

* * *

I approach my victim. She stands there, staring at me. She is not afraid, simply too stupid to understand the danger as she has been conditioned to trust me. My hands tense around the handle of my weapon. My left foot comes slightly forward. My lungs expand as I prepare. The final motion begins with the contraction of several muscles in my back and arms. With a swift stroke, my arms race in an arc over my head, and the hammer lands solidly between her eyes. The kinetic energy of my blow is transferred into her skull. Her cranium is shattered and blood vessels rupture as shards of bone lance into her brain. She crumples to the floor at my feet. Residual electrical impulses cause slight twitching which quickly subsides.

* * *

The muscles in my fingers contract slowly and evenly drawing the trigger backward. The firing pin springs forward striking the primer. A small spark. The gunpowder ignites, gasses expand causing the bullet to begin it's journey. It travels down the barrel, the rifling forcing it to spin. The bullet exits the muzzle with a gout of flame and an explosion of noise. It slices through the air, it's rotation stabilizing it's trajectory for the short journey to it's target. The projectile reaches it's destination. It strikes my victim's chest. Skin rips apart and bones are shattered as the small piece of lead enter's the chest cavity. The resistance of the flesh forces the bullet to deform and expand causing more and more damage as it travels through the body. It bores through the heart and lung. The injury is fatal but the malignant trespasser has not yet finished it's gruesome journey. As it leaves the lung it encounters more ribs causing even more expansion. When it finally exits the body, the wound is many times larger than the original size of the bullet. My victim tries to flee, a reaction of instinct. But the body refuses to cooperate with the orders of the mind. I approach the prostrate form, my heart racing from the exhilaration.

I'm a vegetarian. Want a salad?
I'm a farmer. Want a burger?
I'm a hunter. Want some venison?

Sorry for My Absence

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:02:00 +0000

I know it's been a while since I last posted and for that I'm truly sorry. I know how many of you look to my blog for inspiration and motivation. I started my new job last Monday and it's taken me a while to get settled in the routine of actually going to work every day.
The new job is awesome though. The boss is very laid back and the other guys are pretty cool. Business has been a little slow since I started, which I guess is a good thing as it allowed me to ease into the flow here. I've got the basic processes down, just need actual experience to nail down the finer points. Also, if you need any work done on your car, we should be able to get it done rather quickly right now. (Yes, that's a shameless plug for business.)
A while ago I posted about a contest I was running. Even though no one bothered to actually post on my blog, I did have a few responses on my facebook link. With that being said, the winner of the contest is Jason Tworek. Congratulations Jason on using God to win a contest. Hope you're proud of yourself.
I still don't have an update on the picture as I haven't done a whole lot since before Christmas. But that should change soon as I'll be working on it most Sunday afternoons now that football season is about over.

Wooooooo! I Won for Once.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:06:00 +0000

Today is a good day. After just over two years of being unemployed I was offered a job. It's along the same lines of my previous job so I don't think it's going to take a lot to learn the ropes. Shortly after getting the news I was reminded of The Dance of Joy performed by Balki Bartokomous to celebrate exceptionally good things in life. Many of you reading this may not be familiar with Balki. He was one of the main characters of the show Perfect Strangers that ran in the late 80's and early 90's. This caused me to reflect on the television shows of my childhood. So, just for fun, I'm compiling a top ten list of my favorite shows from when I was still a kid. These are in no particular order as I love each of these shows for vastly different reasons and it wouldn't do them justice to rank them.

Perfect Strangers-As already mentioned, this show featured the characters Balki, and his cousin Larry Appleton. Balki is a naive, good hearted shepherd from the island of Mypos. Larry is a somewhat cynical, materialistic guy that moved to Chicago from Madison, WI. Balki is by far one of the most unique and entertaining characters I remember from my younger days.

The A-Team-In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...the A-Team. Seriously, what guy worthy of his testosterone didn't like John "Hannibal" Smith, Templeton "Faceman" Peck, Bosco "B.A." Baracus, and Captain H.M. "Howlin' Mad" Murdoch? Never before or since, have the men existed that could turn a Ford LTD into an armored personnel carrier with nothing more than corrugated sheet metal, wire mesh, and acetylene torches.

MacGyver-Angus MacGyver was, and still is, the epitome of awesome. A single man dared face the hordes of evil henchmen swarming America in the late 80's with nothing more than a Swiss Army Knife. And I don't care what Mythbusters says, all of his ingenious contraptions were practical and efficient.

ALF-Come, on. It's ALF. What more do I need to say. Seriously, when wouldn't a sitcom about a wisecracking alien with a penchant for eating cat be one of the funniest things ever?

Night Court-Nostrodamus "Bull" Shannon is another iconic television character. Along with Harry T. Stone, Max, Roz, Dan Fielding, and Christine Sullivan, this show had me laughing out loud every week. But my favorite character was Harry's dad, Buddy, played by John Astin. That man was crazy. But he's feeling much better now.

Quantum Leap-Dr. Sam Beckett gets stuck in time in an experiment gone awry. Now he must "leap" from event to even, temporarily replacing other people, to set right what once went wrong. His only help is his friend Al that appears only to him as a hologram along with his artificial intelligence device "Ziggy". Every week Sam would find himself in a dangerous, funny, or embarrassing situation, "hoping that each leap would be his last."

The X-Files-While the show started to bog down in conspiracy after several seasons, and pretty much fell apart towards the end, the first few years of this show were beyond amazing. The creepiness factor on the show was through the roof. Definitely set the mark for future sci-fi series.

Adventures of Brisco County Jr.-While this was a rather short running series, it was definitely one of the more unique. After re-watching it recently, it seems the makers of Wild Wild West with Will Smith took a lot of inspiration from this series. Unfortunately, they left out all the humor, plot, and intelligent dialogue.

Home Improvement-Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor was the personification of my dad. The corollary between the two was eerie. It probably helped me to relate to the show that there were three brothers, just like our family. It was great to see the stoic Al Boreland as the straight man to Tim's antics. And who wouldn't want a fount of wisdom like Wilson on the other side of their fence? Also, Heidi was hot.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air-A street smart kid from of Philly moving into the high class home of a judge in Bel Air. The comedic possibilities are nearly limitless. And who hasn't tried to do the "Carlton" at one point are another. I know I have.

Another Obligatory Holiday Post

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 19:27:00 +0000

One more year has come to an end. That's not the only thing that has come to an end. With it, ends deer hunting in Michigan. Sure, you can still hunt various small game, but that's just not the same. I was actually planning on doing a bit of hunting in December this year. Unfortunately injuries and family obligations prevented that. I do enjoy small game hunting, it just doesn't provide that same heart pounding adrenaline rush that you get when you see a deer. Well, unless you happen to nearly step on a grouse. That will get your heart going in a hurry.

It's January 1st and here in Michigan there isn't any snow on the ground. It is snowing as I'm writing this, and the weather report is calling for 5-8 inches through tomorrow night. But for the moment, the ground is still bare. Normally at this time we at least have a few inches and the lakes are beginning to freeze over. And that gets me excited for ice fishing. I generally end up not getting out to go ice fishing, but I get excited about it none the less. I actually haven't caught a fish through the ice in about 19 years. I've tried, just haven't caught any.

This is also the last regular season game for the Lions. They've already clinched a playoff spot and are now playing for the fifth seed. A win today gives them a much easier first round match up than if they lose. As I write, they are currently up 16-10.

Something that hasn't ended with the new year though is my bad luck. I was cutting wood yesterday and had a tree drop badly and land on my leg. Fortunately God gave me the presence of mind to toss the chainsaw and keep me from serious injury. As it is, I seem to have a bad high ankle sprain, a wrenched knee, and some severe bruising.

But it's a new year and things are only as good as you perceive them to be. Happy New Year everyone.

Sorry, I don't have an updated picture this time. Really haven't worked on it much on the last week or so.

20 Hours, Give or Take.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 00:47:00 +0000

I've said it before and most of you were already aware that I am a unrepentant nerd. Well my nerd world just got a bit more exciting. The first trailer for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was just released. I'll admit, I'm not a huge Tolkienite. I haven't read the Lord of the Rings (henceforth to be referred to as LOTR) trilogy. I have read The Hobbit though and I was thoroughly impressed. It was a great story. And the movie looks like it's going to be every bit as good. Peter Jackson is back doing his thing. The visual effects are every bit as good as, if not better than, the LOTR movies. Unfortunately, the movie won't be released until late next year. That means my fellow nerds and I must endure the strategically scheduled teasers and constant hype for nearly a year. Fortunately though, I'm pretty sure that this won't be a massive letdown like Revenge of the Sith, and the last two Matrix movies. So enduring a years worth of marketing is a small price to pay.

Oh, this is somewhere around 20 hours. Starting to get sick of this barn. On a brighter note, I finally found colored graphics pens in the size I use. Hoping to try them out soon and see just what I can do with them. I've never been very good with color, but I think I might have a chance with these.

18 hours

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 15:32:00 +0000

Alright people, you've all been silently following my blog for some time now. I want to hear you guys weigh in on this one. What are you favorite/unusual Christmas traditions? For us, my dad makes suffle (not souffle) every year. It's a wonderfully delicious dish that contains bacon, bread, ham, eggs, cheese, milk, and corn flakes. We also have a fruit salad and cinnamon rolls with it. This year we'll be making a slight modification to the tradition as we have to do it on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas morning. But we'll still have grandma and grandpa over, and the kids will open their presents after we eat. We had my dad's family Christmas part this last Saturday and like many other families we do the white elephant gifts. Every year the cordial cherries and thin mints are the favorites that everyone likes to steal. We also have the tradition of trying to hit each other in the face with wadded up wrapping paper when you're not looking. Sometimes grandma gets mad about that one though. And of course, just like Thanksgiving, we all eat way too much. Mmmmmmmmm food.

This is about eighteen hours worth of work. Apparently I grossly underestimated the amount of time this project was going to take. I was figuring between 30 and 40 hours. Considering I'm not even halfway done yet, looks like 50 to 60 might be more accurate.

14 Hours and a Giveaway.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 02:14:00 +0000

So I was talking to a friend the other day and she accused me of being pessimistic. Which I don't believe to be the case at all. I simply enjoy trying to think of the worst case scenario for any given situation. That doesn't mean I expect it to happen. She mentioned how nice living in Alaska would be. I said it's too cold. She said, "But you would have all that hunting available." To which I replied, "Yeah, but I have terrible circulation and my feet would get frostbite then gangrene from infection and I'll die." Logical chain of events to the worst case scenario right? I have a knack for this. It doesn't matter how benign the situation may seem, I can come up with a terrible outcome preceded by a reasonable sequence of mishaps. Think you can come up with something that no matter what cannot end badly? Well leave a comment and I'll prove ya wrong. For the first person to stump me, I will do one piece of custom artwork (either a drawing or pen and ink, winners preference.*)

Well this is right around 14 hours worth of work. The parts I thought I could consider finished turned out otherwise. That's the problem with my brain. I continuously think of ways it could be better. Good enough is never good enough for me. That's probably why a lot of my drawings are unfinished.

*Contact author for contest rules and prize details.

12 Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 11:30:00 +0000

I think I've found the meaning of life. My life that is. The meaning of your life may be (and probably is) drastically different. Or your life may not have any meaning and you're just using precious oxygen. How can you be so selfish? Just kidding. Everybody has a purpose, sometimes it just takes a while to figure out what it is. Back to mine.

I have realized that the expression "if it weren't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all" and Murphy's Law seem to be aimed specifically at me. I'm a walking disaster. I'll admit, a large part of it is due to my lack of foresight. But it seems a disproportionate amount that is outside my control falls to me. Don't get me wrong, this isn't me complaining about how hard or unfair life is. I understand that there are others out there like me who seem to bear the brunt of the load of misfortune. The reason I think this is true is that we are better able to cope with constant frustration or disappointment. I believe God has given us the gift of endurance. We shoulder the burdens that if left to others could be too much for them. Not everyone is equipped to handle these types of stresses the way we are. And I don't have a problem with this. If my ability to stand the constant letdowns, upheavals, and general crap that life gives us means that someone else doesn't have to suffer them and is able to face the world another day, then so be it. I'll gladly accept that role.

What's the meaning of your life?

So I've got approximately twelve hours into it now. As you can see, I'm making actual progress and that's really the only thing that keeps me going on something so tedious. That and the fact that I want it to be done in time for the family Christmas party.

Nine Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 12:14:00 +0000

Alright, so how many of you remembered what today is? Without having to be reminded by the news? That's what I thought. This date marks a watershed event in American history. An event that would affect the lives of millions of Americans and others around the world. That's right, today marks the anniversary of the first use of instant replay in a televised football game.
It was 1963 and CBS used it in the Army/Navy game. Little did they realize the effect this would have on the American populace.
Okay, so obviously that isn't the most important thing to happen on this date. Marcus Antonius had Cicero assassinated. Delaware became the first state to ratify the Constitution. And the crew of Apollo 17 flew the final manned mission to the moon.
Wait...what? I forgot one? Oh that's right, December 7th is the day that Japanese planes bombed Pearl Harbor. Roosevelt called it "A date that will live in infamy." Unfortunately, as our Greatest Generation passes away, the significance seems to pass with them. This was the event that pulled us into World War II. An endeavor in which over 400,000 Americans and 60 million people world wide would lose their lives. This was one of the defining moments in modern history, and how do we observe it? A few television specials and news articles. 2402 men and women died in that attack, and we give it no more thought than Columbus Day.

Just about nine hours of work so far. Parts of it are to the point where I would consider them finished, but I'm still less than a third of the way done i think.

six hours

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:22:00 +0000

Man, it's December 5th already. Where has this year gone? Heck, it seems like just yesterday that I was writing my first amazing blog post for my adoring audience. But now it's three months and thirty five posts later. And you have to admit they were some awesome posts. But like I said to begin with, it's December 5th. That means Christmas is fast approaching. What a great time of year this is. The obligatory trampling of the elderly on Black Friday is over. The nerve wracking, shoulder to shoulder throng of people returning lousy gifts has yet to come. People are still enjoying the early glow of the Christmas season when joy to all and good will toward men is still warming their hearts. And hasn't yet been replaced by the murderous rage that comes from fighting through the endless tide of people desperately seeking the perfect gift for someone they really don't like all that much but feel compelled to give something to because it's their wife's friend's cousin and if you don't your wife's friend won't like you and then your wife won't be happy.
I'm sorry, that probably came across as somewhat jaded. Okay, you want a happy holiday post, here ya go.
I love Christmas. It's such a wonderful time of year when everybody seems to remember to be kind to their fellow man. It's a magical time when families come together and old hurts are healed. We remember the birth of Jesus and the Good News he brought us. We sit with our children around the Christmas tree, drinking egg nog or hot cocoa, singing Christmas carols or watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Everybody is happy and anything is possible, because it's Christmas.
You're not buying it eh? Me either. That's because regardless of the time of year, we're still all people. And people screw up and hurt each other and make bad situations worse. But in the midst of all that, during the Christmas season, there is something that reminds people that they don't always have to act the way they normally do. People DO find ways to mend fences or heal hurts or just reach out to comfort someone in need. I guess if that means I have to put up with a ton of jerks in traffic, or unruly mobs in the stores, then so be it. I'm more than willing to sacrifice a bit of my own comfort if it means the miracle of Christmas is able to reach others.

About six hour worth of work. A lot more detail and starting to fill in more area. You may be getting a feel for just how time intensive a piece like this is.

Three Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:18:00 +0000

Well it seems I've run into a small hiccup in my fund raising for the mission trip to Honduras. It seems that I inadvertently violated the terms and conditions of my AdSense account. Because of this, my account was deactivated and I can no longer host AdSense ads on my blog. I understand that I was in error but you would think they would cut a guy a little slack for a minor mistake when it's rather obvious that all my actions were done in good faith that I was abiding by the rules. Oh well. I'm sure there are plenty of other advertisers that will be delighted to be featured on my blog. After all, it is the best blog YOU have ever read.

Even though I didn't expect the revenue from the ads to even come close to paying for my trip, every little bit helps. I've decided that I need to be more pro-active in my fund raising. That's why I'm going to be stepping WELL out of my comfort zone. In one week, the church I attend (Bailey Christian Church) will be hosting a craft bazaar and silent auction. The booth fees paid by the vendors is going toward the church missions fund. I will be participating in this as well. I will have some of my artwork for sale as well as delicious, homemade, pure Michigan maple syrup. I will also be working on the gift for my grandparents so those interested can see just what my technique entails. The money I raise from my sales will also be going towards the Honduras mission trip next August. Feel free to stop by and see me at work, and maybe you'll see something that catches your eye. The church is located in Bailey, Michigan. It's the only church in town and it's right on the main road so if you can't find it I don't know what to tell you. If you don't know where Bailey is, don't feel bad, that's quite common. It's about twenty miles north of Comstock Park on M-37.

Approximately three hours into the project. Still not much area covered but the finer details are starting to become evident.

Why do I Enjoy This?

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 02:01:00 +0000

Okay, for those of you that don't know me and haven't read my previous posts, I am a bit of an artist. My preferred mediums are pencil and pen & ink. While I have spent a lot of time drawing over the years, pen and ink is something I've only really been serious about for the last few years. I tried my hand at it in art class in high school and had decent success, but I was never as comfortable with it as pencil drawing. But when I again tried my hand at it after years of avoidance, I found out I was pretty good. I've posted some of the work I've done in previous posts so you can judge for yourself if you feel like taking the time to go back through them.
I guess what makes my pen & ink work different is that unlike most artists, I have chosen to use the technique of stippling. What is stippling? I'm glad you asked (otherwise this post would have to be cut much shorter than I had originally planned).
Dictionary.com has a lousy definition of stippling. While technically accurate, it doesn't begin to adequately describe just how time consuming the process actually is. Sure, you can get a decent picture using a larger pen and fewer dots, but if you really want it too look good, it takes thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dots from the finest point pen you can get. I use a .05 millimeter graphic pen. That's the smallest I was able to find. Just to help give you and idea of what all is involved in one of my pieces I'm going to start a miniseries of posts following my current work. This work is going to be a gift for my grandparents, so please don't tell them. I don't have to worry about them reading this as I'm quite certain neither of them has ever even attempted to use a computer.
This is a photo of the picture after approximately one hour of work. Yes, I know the perspective seems terrible in this picture. That's because it is. I've always had a problem with that, but you will see that it has been rectified in later posts.

As you can see, an hours worth of work doesn't get you much when it comes to this style. I have a very minimal amount filled in with almost no fine detail. I should be able to update daily on this work as I hope to have it finished by the 17th of this month. If you have any questions feel free to email me at looneygrant@gmail.com.

I'm a Sheep

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 16:03:00 +0000

So, yes, I will be like every other blogger, journalist, and facebooker in America today. Today's post is about none other than Thanksgiving.
I love Thanksgiving. I love it because of the food. I love food. I love turkey, and stuffing, and mashed potatoes, and gravy, and stuffing, and ham, and rolls, and green bean casserole, and stuffing, and cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie, and apple pie, and stuffing, and pecan pie, and banana cream pie, and coconut cream pie, and stuffing.
I love watching the Lions play football on Thanksgiving. I don't care that they usually lose. It's all about tradition baby. Of course, this year the game could be really interesting. They are taking on the 10-0 Packers. Last year Detroit beat Green Bay. I'd be ever so thankful for a win today. But regardless of the outcome, it's the tradition of sitting there watching the game, complaining about how much you ate.
Speaking of tradition, did I mention that I love the tradition of stuffing? Well I do.
Everyone talks about how Thanksgiving is a great time of year because you get to be with all your family and everyone has a good time and eats and watches football. Me, not so much. I just love the stuffing. Don't get me wrong, I like my family and it's fun to get together with them. But we see each other multiple times a year. We don't have anyone that ONLY makes it back for the holidays.
I'll be heading over to my grandparents for dinner shortly. I'm bringing banana bread with maple brown sugar butter. Aunt Joy will bring the deviled eggs. Aunt Shannon will bring the green bean casserole. Everybody brings the same thing every time, and I'm just fine with that. As long as there's stuffing. What are you making?

Related Links
Why this day is what it is.
The good stuff.
The really good stuff.

Some Things Just Aren't Cool

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 18:30:00 +0000

Okay, so I'm going to Honduras next August on a mission trip. I will be accompanying kids from our high school youth group as we work with Mision Caribe. This will be my first time going on a mission trip. If anyone would like to help fund the trip, simply click on some of the ads on this website. That's all it takes.
Anyway, when I agreed to this venture, I failed to remember that Honduras is largely jungle. Jungles, in case you aren't aware, are extraordinary places for spiders. And I don't just mean numbers. They get BIG. For those of you who may not know me too well, this presents a monumental problem. I am terrified of spiders. I have had people tell me that the spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them. I can guarantee that isn't true. "Well you're a thousand times bigger, just smush it." Ummm, no. It could jump on me and bite me and kill me. It's at this point that most people just shake their head or laugh or call me a sissy Nancy boy. I don't care. Spiders are abhorrent abominations that serve no good purpose on this earth. You may argue that they eat bugs. So do snakes, birds, bats, and frogs. I would gladly trade a few more of each of those in exchange for getting rid of spiders.
Honduras is home to three of the five deadly species of spiders known to exist. Many of you are probably at least familiar with the brown recluse and the black widow. But the Brazilian Wandering spider, or banana spider, also resides there. This spider has the most potent neurotoxin of any spider in the world. It is also a very aggressive spider and is not afraid to attack creatures much larger than itself (i.e. humans). Besides these three super killers, there are a vast number of other species of spiders that live here. "Oh, most spiders are harmless," you say. Just let me be clear about this, ALL spiders have venom. Therefore all spiders could possibly kill me. You may say that line of reasoning is irrational.

pho·bi·a [foh-bee-uh]

noun

a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

Yes, I know that it really doesn't make sense to be afraid of spiders. That doesn't make me any less afraid of them though. I can't help it. They are vile, evil, insidious, little monsters that need to be eradicated and that's all there is to it.

Honduras is also home to four very dangerous snakes as well as scorpions. There is also a lot of gang violence and tourists are frequently robbed. But I really am not worried about any of that. Just the spiders.

You Can't Win 'Em All

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 01:12:00 +0000

Well, today was the opening day of firearm season here in Michigan. I wasn't out first thing this morning due to a conflict with my schedule. Had a Bible study to go to and that was a bit more important than being in the woods at dark thirty. This is actually a big deal for me. As little as a year ago, hunting would have taken priority. But now things are different.
So I got out to the woods about 10:30 this morning. It was a beautiful morning too by the way. The sun was shining, the frost was just starting to melt off the leaves and grass. I saw a few turkeys as I was walking to my blind. I got all situated in my ground blind and began my vigil. Over the next six hours I saw 1,758 squirrels. I was able to keep an exact count as there were no deer to distract me. I also got to see a hawk swoop down and snatch a squirrel off the ground. That was pretty sweet. I'll tell ya what though, the other squirrels didn't take too kindly to it. They raised such a ruckus for the next fifteen minutes.
Something I've come to realize over the past few years, the manufacturers of those "hot seats" for hunters are definitely not thinking about the more rotund people that may use their product. I think my tailbone may actually be bruised.
Anyway, darkness fell without one single deer showing itself. So I came home. Now I'm just sitting here writing this post, waiting for bed time so I can get up and do it all again tomorrow.

Related Links
I'm pretty sure this is the type of hawk I saw today.
And this was its dinner.
Christmas is coming. Maybe your loved ones would appreciate something like this.

In Honor of NaNoWriMo I'm Submitting the Laziest Post Ever.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 02:44:00 +0000

Yes, November is National Novel Writing Month, in which countless aspiring authors attempt to write a novel in thirty days. To those eight people that succeed, my hats off to you. To the rest, I'm "write" there with ya. Well, not exactly. I'm not attempting to write a novel at the moment. November contains the most historically successful dates for deer hunting, so I'm doing that whenever I have the chance. I did however start a novel earlier this year. Unfortunately I let life take over and abandoned it after several chapters.
I submit to you, the prologue.

Roots snaked up around his legs and torso, lashing out with their tendrils to entrap his arms. Unseen weaves of energy sought to block him from the magical flows from which he drew his power. Thrashing wildly, he hurled mage fire, desperately seeking to destroy the living vines that ensnared him, while simultaneously waging an unseen battle of will to maintain control of his magic. Gouts of rock and soil lashed through the air as blast after blast struck ineffectually into the earth around him. Trees and rocks alike shattered under the impact of mystic bolts of fire. One vicious burst found its mark and splinters of wood lanced out in all directions.

Bellowing in pain and rage, he clawed at his face, striving to dislodge the shrapnel embedded in his eye. Jerking the offending shard free he searched in vain for his enemies as more and more cords of root twined around his body.

Half blinded by his own savagery, he lay about him in a relentless barrage of magical flame. Unfortunately the pain caused his focus to waver and knots of magic drew tight about him. His frenzied onslaught ceased immediately and the creeping vines pulled tight, holding him immobile.

Like wraiths emerging from a fog, his four assailants materialized from the forest around him. He watched as they approached him boldly, knowing they had nothing to fear now that he was cut off from the mystic energy. As they drew near he could sense the one holding the spell which prevented his use of magic. He knew that unless his bonds were released, he was at their mercy. He also knew mercy would not be high on their list of priorities this day.

I have about thirty pages written I think. Maybe one day I'll resume the effort. Who knows.

The Orange Army Cometh.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:42:00 +0000

No, we're not being invaded by the Netherlands. (If you don't understand the connection, Google it.) No, what I'm talking about is the opening of the firearm season in Michigan. In exactly one week, hundreds of thousands of blaze orange clad hunters will descend upon the fields and forests of our great state. I remember riding the bus to school in the days before I was old enough to hunt and seeing all the "pumpkins" sitting out in the edge of fields or along windrows. This was never opening day of course. That's a sacred holiday on which school is cancelled. But I always remember wishing I was old enough to be out there with them.
Since then, I've joined the ranks and served many tours in the orange army. I've had some success and some failure. I've participated in the great tradition of the family deer camp. (Although notorious might be more suitable than great for our family.) I have forgotten countless stories of deer season, yet the overall essence of what they mean has been ingrained into my psyche.
Things have definitely changed since I was younger. You no longer see all the "pumpkins". Everyone now has a blind of some sort. Weather it be a commercial model, or a self built box, (complete with heat, insulation, coffee, food, and electricity) very few enjoy actually sitting out in the woods. I'll admit, I've hunted from both types, but I've never really been comfortable in them. I much prefer hunkering down against a tree or sitting in a pit blind I dug and constructed myself.
This year, I did it a little differently though. I actually built a ground blind using camo cloth and dead limbs and such.

If you can't see it, well...isn't that the point?
For those of you who have read my previous posts about bow hunting, don't get me wrong. I'm extremely passionate about it. But at this point in time, it comes down to meat in the freezer and a rifle is simply much more likely to accomplish that.

Help a Fella Out.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 14:19:00 +0000

I consider myself an artist. I would honestly love to be able to make a living with my artwork. Unfortunately, I have a very tough time finding people who are actually interested in paying for my art. I know a lot of that has to do with the fact that I really don't have a "network" to help spread the word about my talent. I'm also pretty much limited to pencil drawings or pointilism using pen and ink.
It would be wonderful to find people that wanted something specific and work on a commission basis rather than making a lot of stuff and hoping to sell it.
All that being said, this post is basically a shameless self promotion. Here are some examples of my work.

At the moment, I don't have any pencil drawings available to post, but I'm just as good at that. Also, I can draw or pen and ink anything, not just wildlife. Animals happen to be my favorite subject so that's what I do for fun. But I can do landscapes, still life, portraits, pretty much anything you could want.
If anyone is interested in having work done or has any questions, feel free to email me at looneygrant@gmail.com.

I Don't Want to Hear it.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 23:51:00 +0000

Ladies and gentleman, I have returned. I took a self imposed sabbatical. I'd like to say that I was going through some life altering situations that completely turned my world upside down, but the truth is, I just didn't feel like writing for a while.
Today was a great day for me. I got to go on a charter for steelhead on the Muskegon River. This was my birthday present from my parents. The fishing was crazy and our guide was awesome.
We put in just after 8:00 this morning. It was nice and chilly and a heavy mist was rising from the river. The guide put us up at the head of a run and set us up to learn the technique of back bouncing. After less than a minute of practicing my line just stopped. Fish on!!! Talk about a great start. In a few minutes I landed a nice five or six pounder. We got back into position and within another couple minutes I had another fish on. Sweet. Got that one into the boat and decided to let it go. We're only allowed to keep three fish per person and I didn't want the day to end that quickly.
Throughout the next four hours or so we landed 12 more fish. We lost another eight or ten that we never got to the boat as well.
Some pictures from the trip can be found at http://www.muskegonriverguide.blogspot.com/.

No related links today. Just check out Jeff's website above or like him on facebook, http://www.facebook.com/pages/Muskegon-River-Guide/105859362801467.

Sometimes a Little Forethought is a Good Thing.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 03:58:00 +0000

I was sitting here thinking about what to write and the first thing that came to mind was my love hate relationship with chipotle. However, common sense and fear of obscenity charges overrode that inclination.
Instead I decided to dissect this article. While I agree with the premise that being optimistic is something that you can willfully control, it's writing like this that tends to set me off. The author acts like these four secrets are so easy that just by reading the article, you will automatically be a happier person. So let's break down the problems with each of these steps.
Secret 1: Express Gratitude-On the surface this seems like a pretty sound theory. But let's just say that you've just blown a tire, smashed into a guard rail, and your coffee spilled all over your cell phone and the report you absolutely must turn in this morning. Am I really going to stop and take the time to say, thank you negligent person that allowed debris to fall from your vehicle. Now I get the opportunity to use my spare tire. Wouldn't want it to sit in the trunk too long without being used. Plus I get to talk with the perpetually friendly people at my insurance company. And who wouldn't be thankful for the chance to show up to work late and flex your creativity muscles when your boss doesn't quite believe your story?
Secret 2: Volunteer-Ahh yes, when everything in my life is going as absolutely horrible as possible, I want to surround myself with people who are in much worse situations than I. Who doesn't want a side of guilt and shame to go along with all the other crap that's going wrong?
Secret 3: Notice the Good-Ummm...not to sound flippant (well, maybe just a little), but isn't that pretty much what defines an optimist? If you're able to notice the good in every situation, wouldn't it be much easier to expect positive outcomes to every day situations? It's extremely hard for me to notice the good when I have to worry about how I'm going to get both of my grandpa's tractors out of the swamp without breaking anything.
Secret 4: Change Negative Self-Talking-Are you kidding me? Honestly, if this is a problem for you, you most likely won't have the confidence to believe that you can fix yourself. This is like saying that if you have trouble spending money then you should stop spending money. Well thanks for the tip skippy.
Yes, I know that anybody can change their outlook on life, but to write an article that makes it sound like a minor maintenance issue instead of a major engine overhaul is misleading at best.

Related Links
I don't have any related links. I just urge everyone to find a way to volunteer. Whether it's with senior citizens, inner city youth, or in a third world country, the love you show by volunteering will reap a harvest many times what you sow.

One of "Those" Days

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 01:25:00 +0000

Well just like the title suggests, it was one of those days. One of the days that Murphy's Law was written for. It seemed like it was starting out to be a pretty decent day. Nice weather, the sun was shining.
I went early this morning and borrowed my grandpa's tractor. He only lives a mile away so it's pretty handy. My intention was to drive through the woods behind our house to load up a bunch of wood that I had cut up so I could bring it up and split it.
Things were going pretty well. I had made my way into the woods and had some stuff cut up and moved out of the way. So I'm driving the tractor through the woods and the front tires go over a small hump and I immediately sink nearly to the front axle. Try to back up and the tires just spin. I immediately stop, shut the tractor off, and head up to the house. I knew that if I kept trying I'd just make things worse.
Not too bad, I think to myself. The ground didn't seem that bad and grandpa has a bigger tractor. My dad goes to get the bigger tractor and drives out to the woods. He backs up and we get the chains hooked up. He starts to pull and the smaller one starts to move. But then it gets hung up on a log buried in the muck. The big tractor starts to spin its tires.
I need to interject here. My dad has a tendency to compound situations which would be considered less than optimal. It's a lack of patience. Something I struggle with as well.
As soon as the tires started spinning, not wanting to lose momentum, he opens up the throttle. This causes the tires to spin even more. In a matter of seconds, the larger tractor is sunk to its rear axle in the muck.
I'll forego the next few hours as the language is not appropriate. Not on my part, mind you. I'm much too controlled for those types of outbursts. Stop laughing.
Anyway, my dad goes to another farmer he knows and he brings over a bigger tractor to try to help. Notice I said try. It didn't work. Tractor wasn't big enough. But at least we didn't get it stuck.
He goes to another farmer and they bring an even bigger four wheel drive tractor. We break two chains. But we don't get this one stuck either so I guess that's a plus.
Finally we call a wrecker. Apparently all it takes to remove a tractor from the swamp is a hundred feet of steel cable, a massive winch, a block and tackle, and $150 dollars to pay the driver.
At least we didn't break anything on the tractors. Of course, all my wood is still out in the forest. Tomorrow should be fun.

Related Links
This is the type I got stuck.
And the one my dad got stuck.
Things could always be worse.

How to Find Different Titles for Your Blog Posts (Don't let the title fool you. This is about football.)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 23:22:00 +0000

It's a bittersweet day. I'm bringing an end to the "How To" titles for my posts. I decided that I'm much more creative than that and can come up with witty, attention grabbing titles.
Now that that's out of the way. How about them Lions? I'll admit it. I've been a Lions fan since I can remember. My first memories of watching the guys in Honolulu Blue consisted of Barry Sanders making defenders look foolish, Rodney Pete making himself look foolish, and Eddie Murray being their leading scorer. (He was a kicker for those of you who don't remember.)
I suffered through the era of Cocaine Wayne, Bobby Ross, and a wave of other coaches whose potential was dashed upon the rocks of the Detroit LieDowns.
I watched numerous top draft picks amount to nothing. The few talented players Detroit was able to acquire were tossed into the meat grinder of sub mediocrity. Their careers were cut short by injury or indifference when they had the opportunity to get out of Detroit. After all, how many of them would have highlights of their career to point to when trying to negotiate a contract elsewhere?
I remember the last time the Lions made the playoffs only to lose the first game of their postseason. I remember the last time the Lions won a playoff game. That was all the way back in 1991. Twenty years ago.
I remember the sadness when guys I grew up watching every Sunday began to leave the game. Benny Blades, Chris Spielman, Pat Swilling, Mel Gray, Robert Porcher, Luther Ellis, Herman Moore, and the great Barry Sanders.
When Barry walked away from the game, I'm sure I wasn't the only one that felt a tremendous sense of despair. What were we going to do without one of the greatest players the game has ever seen? Turns out, we'd continue to be Lions fans. Suffering the same disappointment year after year.
And just when we thought it couldn't get worse, along came Matt Millen. Never has someone run a franchise so completely into the ground. Millen managed to accomplish the most difficult feat in professional football. So difficult, that no other team had EVER done it. He manufactured a team that was able to lose all SIXTEEN regular season games. As that travesty wore on, I recall having a perverse satisfaction as they drew closer and closer to the unattainable "perfect" season. Seriously, how many others would still claim to be a fan of an 0-16 team? I know I wasn't alone, but our ranks were pitifully small.
That's all changed now though. The Lion's have their first 4-0 start since before I was born. Suh, Johnson, and Stafford jerseys are everywhere. Where were you, my fairweather friends, when Cincinnati, Cleveland, and Tampa Bay could look forward to the inevitable win that came with a game against Detroit? Where were you when for three straight seasons the first draft pick was a wide receiver? Where were you when Joey "Princess" Harrington was our quarterback? You were rooting on the Patriots, or the Colts, or the Saints. How dare you, now that things are good, come back and act like you're one of us? You haven't the right to call yourself a fan. You turned tail and ran when the going got hard.
I know my words will fall on mostly deaf ears. Nobody will admit to being one of the many on the bandwagon. They all say, "Not me, I was here the whole time." Well I say you're a liar. If that's true, where is your Andre Ware, Ty Detmer, or Aveion Cason jersey? That's what I thought...That's what I thought.

And don't even get me started on Jeff Backus.

Related Links
The BEST running back ever. I don't care what you think.
What a year it was.
This guy has a slightly different opinion.

How to Do Customer Service the Right Way

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 11:36:00 +0000

Alright, so I've had my current cell phone since last December. It's a droid2 and I'm pretty happy with it. The only problem is that it gets too hot at times and that causes the adhesive which holds the keypad on to break down. I've had three phones in the ten months I've had my plan.
So I took my phone in yesterday to get it warrantied out. As soon as I walked in the door I was greeted by one of the representatives. Even though they were both with customers, they took the time to tell me they would be with my shortly. Too few companies bother to train their people that it is a big deal to the customer just to be acknowledged. I told them not to worry as I had plenty of time.
So I wander around the store looking at the different phones, waiting my turn. Even though she wasn't yet finished with her current customer, one of the reps asked me if I just had a simple question they could answer. I told her no, it was a warranty issue. Again, just letting the customer know you haven't forgotten about them and want to help them as soon as possible goes a long way.
Finally it's my turn. The rep that helped me turned out to be the district manager who was just in the store for the day. She asked me my problem and pulled up my account information and what not. She told me that because she isn't in the stores very often, she's not really familiar with how the warranty process works. She politely asked me if I would be willing to wait just a few more minutes until the other rep was free. I said that was fine and she could go ahead and help the next person waiting.
So the other rep gets freed up and begins to assist me. She looks at the phone to see the problem and calls the warranty division. She tells them the problem and they say they will ship me a new device. Now, I know I'm not eligible for an upgrade for a while so I ask her, because this is the third time with the same problem in ten months, if I can get a comparable phone. She asks the warranty division and they offer me a droid3 at no upgrade charge and they tell me they are overnighting it for no charge as well. Hey, that's fine with me. The rep gives me the order number and reminds me of the procedure for returning the defective phone.
I ask if there is an email address so I can leave a comment about customer service. Honestly, this was one of the best experiences in customer service that I've ever had. And that's not just with cell phones, that's any industry.
So if you work in customer service, you could take a lesson from this story. The customer may not always be right, but you need to do your best to make sure you find an equitable solution so they leave happy.

Related Links
These are the folks I'm talking about
Some people don't deal well with poor customer service
My new toy

How to Look Like a Complete Moron

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 05 Oct 2011 20:31:00 +0000

Well last night I managed to accomplish the title of this post. I planned on going hunting yesterday afternoon. Took my shower and started to get ready. As I'm putting on my clothes, I realize my gloves and face mask are missing. Dangit, they're still in my car, which my dad borrowed. Guess I'll just go out without them. I should be ok. Oh that's right, I need my wallet. Wait...where's my wallet? Look all over the house for it. Can't find it. Did I throw it in the washer on accident? I stop the washer mid cycle and pull out all the clothes. Nope. Not there. Well, I guess I'll just have to wait.
So I wait. Dad gets back with my car and I go to get my stuff. Gloves, check. Face mask, check. Wallet...uh oh. Not in my car. DANGIT!!!! Look all over the house again. Still can't find it. Go to check my car again. For some reason I pat my backside and lo and behold, there's my wallet. I never put it in the back pocket of my overalls. Well, apparently not never.
I can go hunting now at least. So I go hunting.
I'll tell ya what, there should be a cut off date for mosquitoes. There's absolutely no reason for those tiny little vampires to be flying around this late in the year. So I do my best to sit still. Very difficult to do while being incessantly impaled. Needless to say, I didn't see any deer. Oh well.

Related Links
This is what I felt like last night
Could have used this yesterday
I should probably invest in one of these