Welcome...Please Stay A While

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

2018-04-09T12:14:00.000-07:00

It may sound unrealistically simple, but honestly everything good or bad starts with our perception. Our perception determines our corresponding response or action(s). By having the right perception, a problem doesn’t magically disappear, but we assume the right posture to keep our minds open to seeing the “good” inherent in that problem.

First is our understanding and acceptance of the fact that life itself wouldn’t be called life without its fair share of challenges. The openness of our minds to the acceptance of this fact absorbs us to a certain extent of any rude shock, when such challenges show up.

In every battle we choose sides – but more appropriately in this context, we must choose sight. To every coin there are two sides; every word has an opposite; every positive has a negative and every bad has a good… bottom line is shift focus from all the ‘ifs’ to the ‘cans’. Choose to see the possibilities in every seemingly impossible situation. And while this might seem unrealistically simple to some, it is realistically simple to others… it’s all about perception.

Notice though that perception doesn’t rid us of reasoning; so though we might view overcoming a challenge in a realistically simple way, the key word here is ‘realistic’. It means I’m open to reasoning to know that even though I willing to focus on the positives; I’m also willing to accept that it’s okay when not all my plans work out – that’s why we create backups and then backups for our backups.

Cheers!

IT’S OKAY TO BE SAD.

2018-03-14T08:52:00.001-07:00

Ever noticed how you hear loads of messages, teachings, and expositions on being happy always, and surprisingly your mood never improves? Well it has happened to me a few times, and at first I thought I was probably having a midlife crisis, but again I wasn’t at that age yet (even though anything is possible in today’s world). Anyways, my conclusion is; it’s okay to be sad.

Honestly, I think most of us overlook this fact, and that is why we are sad in the first place. We go through life in some robotic manner, moving from one phase of life to another while playing the super hero. Every now and then we hear how we should stay happy always and then the Doctors pitch in and tell us the many benefits of smiling and how many nerves we use. Though I do not dispute any of these, but can we be honest with ourselves for a minute – it’s okay to be sad. It's okay to not understand how you feel even sometimes, it’s okay to be confused, it’s okay to beat yourself up once in a while… the secret is not to dwell on these feelings.

If it wasn’t okay to be sad, moody, unhappy, dejected… then we wouldn’t be capable of such emotions in the first place. It is the ability to feel all of these emotions that makes us human and every emotion comes with a process that is meant to make us into a holistic being. It is the awareness that it’s okay for us not to be happy at all times that helps us understand what we need to do to get over such times. But never get to a place where you start to think being unhappy, sad or confused at some point in your life is a disease; never get to that point of disillusion that being sad makes you weird, because even the bible says “sorrow may endure for a night…” Duh!

There’s always a night season… but always look forward to the morning. No matter how thick the darkness of the night is, no matter how long your nighttime lasts, no matter the nightmares that plague you during the night, or the monsters that come out to hunt you - stay expectant, morning is near.

So now you know better; it’s okay to be sad; but don’t stay sad!

Impacting your world...

2015-01-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

Just yesterday night I was watching CNN Heroes and I saw so many young people with great potential of their own who have so few opportunities to explore or express it. Still, they bravely persist in striving to make their mark on the world, even in contexts of deprivation and conflict.
In the course of our lives we have the opportunity to meet and possibly interact with people who’ve made measurable impact in the world, including well-known experts, authors, researchers, journalists, scientists, innovators, business geniuses, and entrepreneurs. Yet among these world influencers are also everyday people who have found a special niche in which they’ve contributed at the highest level. It’s critical to note that people who’ve made a real difference aren’t all privileged, advantaged or “special” people. Many have come from disadvantaged families, and crushing circumstances, but have found ways to pick themselves up and rise above their circumstances (and their genes) to transform their own lives and those around them.

In the field of psychology in the past there was always a heated argument of Nature vs Nurture, and which one superseded the other in influencing an individual’s life. Today however, there is a general consensus that though both have a significant influence, nurture still holds the upper hand. This in essence says that every individual has the capacity to be who they want to be and they can reach whatever heights they want.

There is a movie (Lucy), about scientists trying to prove that human beings can actually access 100 percent of their brain… and its surreal because it re-defines the word “limitless” for you and opens your eyes to just the possibilities that lie in the truth of such proposition.

At the moment I am working on a paper exploring graduate unemployment and exploring ways of enhancing employability through critical thinking and realistic decision making skills. Amongst the various factors that have been identified as responsible for graduate unemployment, there is a general consensus whenever the issue of education comes up. Its no more news that there is a great difference, between the requirements of the world of work and the information we get in school. The baseline however is the admission that the world is no longer as we know it (or at least, as our parents knew it). It’s no longer a linear world where you go to school, graduate and almost immediately is picked up by a firm, you work for thirty or so years with the conviction of some sort of settlement at the end. Then it made sense to work really hard for a long time because you were guaranteed of some source of income later, but in our world today, it’s about working smart, its about standing out, being extraordinary, making an impact.

To make an impact, you no doubt cause a change, which means each and every one of us has to be a change agent. What exactly is a change agent?... in this context, it’s anyone who is able to influence circumstances for a more productive output. If we consider the many characteristics of a change agent, besides being socially responsible, an active learner, we see that a change agent is entrepreneurial. A couple of years back, entrepreneurship to me was like social strata, where certain privileges were for a certain class. But today, entrepreneurship for me is a matter of relevance. I always tell people that when I was younger I thought my greatest fear was the fear of death, but as I grew older I found that it really was the fear of being irrelevant. It’s scary for me to think of a moment of ever being totally obsolete, irrelevant to my environment, my community or the world at large.
I believe that problem of unemployment amongst other things is hinged on many of us being round pegs in square holes. We are not where we are meant to be, and truth be told many don’t even know where that is. Wanting relevance isn’t necessarily in the context of trying to prove a point, it’s basically about an avenue for self expression. People who impact the world understand the importance of finding purpose and meaning and pursuing it tirelessly...that is what keeps you relevant.

Needless to say that it’s high time for us as youths to find our place, because even when we observe our government/leaders and the bickering and narrow-minded arguments taking place, we realize that it’s up to you and I to start charting our courses as individuals and for our Nation. And as Christians we need to move with the bold confidence that grace gives us to walk in uncertainty, fearless and unafraid of rejection. When we fear making mistakes, we become timid and limit ourselves from living abundantly. We let analysis permeate our decision as we lead quiet, desperate, anti-faith lives.

However to impact our world we need to understand certain things;
We need to continually improve ourselves: People who impact the world for the better know that they are not perfect. They understand how their knowledge isn’t “complete” – there are always gaps, biases, limitations and prejudices, and new places to go with their expertise.
We need to interact: Those with huge positive influence understand the power of relationships, connection, and engaging with the world openly. They’re not afraid to get “out there” – connecting with others, sharing their knowledge and talents, offering their authentic and often contrarian viewpoints and opinions

We need to be open to criticisms: The most powerful positive influencers don’t need or want to be “right” – they want to grow and be more effective.
We need to allow ourselves to be mentored and be willing to mentor: They are happy to help and support others, and have an overflow of positive energy that enriches the lives of everyone they work with and connect with. These positive influencers want others to grow.

We need to be keep in perspective: Positive influencers don’t take short cuts or go for the quick buck or easy answer. They don’t view some arbitrary goal or outcome as a destination, because they believe there is no end – it’s all in the journey. It’s about what they’re learning, experiencing, and building that helps others, and for that, there is no defined end point

Lastly if we want to impact our world, we must realize that “The one thing that you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” —Neil Gaiman…. Adnd without a doubt GOD!

Ramblings... or Not II

2014-08-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

Today I realized that you can be in the midst of a crowd, yet be alone...

Today I realized that the heart can stop feeling, even while beating...

Today I realized that one thing more scarier than fear, is emptiness...

Today I realized that there aren't just two sides to life, too many curves we don't see...

Today I realized that without the willpower, a frog will remain the same even if it kisses a Queen...

Today I realized that people never change, only circumstances do...

Today I realized that we only see what we want to, most times not what we are supposed to...

Today I realized that life is so short, we have no clue...

Today I realized that as long as we are alive, there's a risk for everyone...

Ramblings... or Not!

2014-03-17T15:12:00.000-07:00

Today I realized that you can feel the same kind of pain twice and even over and over, without a clue how to stop it...

Today I realized that choosing the one we love is not as important as being chosen by the one who loves us…

Today I realized that love isn’t really what we think it is, it is pain, sacrifice and hard work…

Today I realized that when people are in so much pain, death loses its fangs before their eyes…

Today I realized that depression isn’t a sign of weakness, it could happen to even the strongest of men…

Today I realized that therein between black and white, lies the grey line….

Today I realized that the most part of our lives are shaped and defined in those grey lines…

Today I realized that finding happiness isn’t a big deal, staying happy is the real battle…

Today I realized that there is no such thing as one person or thing being finer than the other, it is only a product of our malleable minds…

Today I realized that daylights are easier than nights…the nights are when the secrets, nightmares, monsters, and regrets catch up with you…

Dotted Lines...

2014-03-09T09:14:00.001-07:00

It’s not just a ‘like’
And it’s more than a psyche
My heart goes on a hike
Every time you look in my eyes

It’s more than a frown
But not enough for a crown
My pain runs deep and down
Sometimes I think I might drown

Damn sure it’s more than a tear
I bet it’s more than a fear
I don’t know if you can tell
But it’s more than I can spell

It’s more than just the monies
And sure not about the hunnies
It’s a whole world of mysteries
Nothing is ever as it seems

LOVE OR LOGIC?

2013-12-29T12:04:00.000-08:00

The ones we love hurt us the most,
They can’t see us even though we are close
But only with them do we feel at home

I can’t live with you, but can’t live without you
You reach for me, but fall right through
Yet when I pray, I pray more for you

One day we are here, the next we are gone
Our scents and smell, lingers till dawn
Our hopes and dreams, with the wind all gone

A child is born, and with him a dream comes
He learns to run, and he learns to love
Then he falls in love, is he right or wrong?

We think we know, but do we really? I ask
This life we know is naught but a mirage,
Every decision taken is a means to an end
If we know not tomorrow, then to what end I ask?

The Acknowledgement

2013-10-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

Like from a distance, I could hear my mother’s cry…more like wailings. She sounded like a wounded lion that was going to scream her heart out, as she repeatedly screamed my name… Adeola! Adeola! Adeola!!

Unshaken I stood there staring at the body of my father….or at least the man who used to be my father, until a few minutes ago. I willed myself back to the room and the activity around me…the lifeless body of my father lay on the bed, with a knife poking out of his chest. The crimson color of his blood gradually taking over the once ash colored pajamas he wore. I had just stabbed my father in the chest…with a force ad precision that left no room for his survival.

********************************************************************************

The sound of the bell rang through the long corridors signifying the time for counseling sessions. Reluctantly I got up from my bed, dragging through the process of wearing my flops and throwing my shirt on. Buttoning up with the speed of a movie playing in slow motion, I thought of what to do to occupy myself through the agonizing 30minutes that awaited me now.

It was always annoying listening to the ranting of my colleagues, as they talked about how they had done one bad thing or the other. The problem wasn’t really the ranting, as some had some pretty hilarious tales sometimes, while some actually managed to move us to tears with their tales. My problem was that I couldn’t fathom the rationale behind the telling of these ordeals. It was as if they believed that telling their stories could give them some sort of closure – a school of thought I didn’t subscribe to.

Finally finding my way to the huge hall that seated almost a hundred of us, I found a chair at the far end and braced myself for another long 30minutes. The moderator, a woman in nothing less than thirties came up first as she always did and started the session by imploring us to make “the acknowledgement” …that’s what it was called.

In unison fellow participants started the recital “I am an extraordinary being…” I sunk a little deeper in my chair, as I took in the entire room lingering on the faces of some of the people I associated with - by ‘associated’ I mean the casual “hellos” and “mornings”; I had never been much of a talker. Tracy was my favorite…dark, pretty and very short…I thought of her as ‘shanko’. I never said it to her face though, because she had anger issues and was always quick to flare up at the silliest issues.

“…my life is what I make of it, I walk tall at all times…”,sitting next to Tracy was Dayo. She sat with her back straight, shoulders up and palms neatly clasped on her laps. She was tidy, prim and proper…did what was expected of her at all times. Every time I looked at her I always wondered what a girl like her was doing at a place like this. I secretly wished she would speak up during one of these gatherings and shed light on her own experience…maybe today could be my lucky day.

“… I am the best of me there ever could be” the final drawl of the voices as they completed ‘the acknowledgement’ brought me back from my reverie. A round of applause followed the recital, right after which I saw Agnes get up from her seat and made her way to the front. Gnashing on my teeth I wondered if we had run out of people who were willing to volunteer to talk about themselves and their past. Agnes had become like the pseudo pastor…she always had something to say…one boring tale after the other every other week.

Her first tale had been how she had been involved in some femdom acts with her ex-boyfriend… I had wanted to die that day, it was like listening to porn as opposed to actually watching it – where was the fun in that. It was so gross, I and several others had audibly sighed when she finally returned to her seat. This experience was still so fresh in mind; I could only imagine what she had to say today – probably how she was gang raped by a group of lesbians. I chuckled at the picture that resulted from my thought… shaking my head as I hoped this potent mind of mine wouldn’t land me in trouble one day – if there was a greater trouble than the one I was in already.

TO BE CONTINUED...

LONE SOUL

2013-09-25T01:06:00.000-07:00

I feel your presence from me depart
I feel the darkness my spirit envelope
I feel the warmth…your warmth gently dissipate
I know your touch has since gone cold

I watch from afar the shining light
That once upon on a time was a reflection of us
I cringe and crawl deeper into the shadows
The darkness now my home, my solace, my friend

The thuds of my heart, the only sounds I know
As silence surrounds me… thick as the dark
The sighs from my lips, a welcomed interlude
As time makes its way, day in day out

My Daily Bread

2013-09-09T16:47:00.000-07:00

The body of a goddess...that's how I thought of her. With shoulders slightly broad; making you think of just the right amount of comfort, narrowing down to her waist...the tiniest I had ever seen....then the roundness of her buttocks, with a firmness that made you want to grab them hard. Watching her undress was pleasurable, caressing every part of her with my eyes, taking time to linger on all the right places...a goddess amongst men. She stepped into the bathroom, leaving me eagerly waiting for her reappearance. I wanted to have her now...I shifted to ease the pain throbbing in the bulge between my legs. I waited patiently for her return...longest moments of my life. Ah!!! there she was. I felt like prancing on her like a Lion on heat, but I had to wait...I knew I had to wait. I did not want to scare her off, that's why I had to be discreet - even while watching her. I looked at my time; 6.25am - it was almost time, five more minutes and he would be gone. I had watched them long enough to know he left the house 6.30am every morning.

Turning my thoughts back to my goddess, I watched as she eased into her panties...some white lacy thing which I now felt pity for, as it would soon be ripped off. Just then, he walked up to her and placed a quick kiss on her lips and rushed out of the room. I waited and listened for him to get into his car and drive off. "Finally" I thought...yet I must remain careful. Carefully, I got up from the spot where I had crouched all night - what a vantage point it had proven to be. I knew she would be lying in bed now...she did that every time. A number of times, I had wondered what sort of person, wakes up early to take a bath, and then goes back to bed...but did I mention she was a goddess? so I guess it must be some goddess act.

I made my way to the kitchen exit; I had seen him take out some junk before he left. Turning the knob I smiled, nature must be on my side...I let myself in. I had no trouble finding the bedroom, besides the bulge between my legs was all the map I needed. The door made a small creaking sound as I opened it..."Forgot Something" she muttered half awake. I made no response as I continued towards the bed, longing clouding my eyes, as I watched her curled up on her side, heaving peaceful breaths.

I got into bed behind her, pressing hard against her..."Don't tell me you came back for a quickie" she teased, her voice already laced with arousal. As she snuggled closer, she pushed her buttocks further up against me. I grabbed them hard, with the satisfaction of having waited so long to do so. "Not just a quickie" I replied.

I felt the gasp before it escaped her lips...she turned to me with horror in her eyes. I stifled her cry with a blow and watched as she went limp; long enough for me to gag her and tie her hands and legs. She blinked once...twice... and instantly came back to the realization of what was happening, struggling as much as she could. Her struggles only made me groan with pleasure and excitement, as I ripped apart the lace panties she had on. I saw little tear drops trickle down the sides of her face, but I didn't care for that...I grabbed the pillow next to her, smothering her with it. Then I thrust hard and harder and deeper...letting out pent up desires; desires form watching her dress and undress; desires from dreaming and fantasizing; desires from waiting.

It felt good; just like I had hoped...even better. As the energy dissipated, she struggled less, until all she could do was moan, almost silently. Recurrent waves of orgasm seized me, racking through my body...just when I thought my brain would pop...Haaa!!! sweet relief. At the same time I climaxed, she breathed her last. I smiled to myself with content - just the way I preferred it. "Poor thing", I grinned. Crumbling to her side, I relished the moment I just had - Awesome!. Reaching out, I felt her still warm body and once again climbed unto her...this was the best part. Where there were no struggles, no squabbles...just me inside of her, savoring the warmth while it lasted. Absently sucking on her subtle breasts, I steered my thoughts away from the warmth enveloping me and started to make plans...Plans for the next day's meal.

ANOTHER KIND OF SURPRISE

2013-07-24T16:01:00.000-07:00

He lay staring at the ceiling remembering his chat with Toni the previous night. They had argued back and forth on how she wanted him to attend her Aunt's birthday party and how he didn't think it was important. He knew he was justified if he didn't attend, and he knew he could always placate her afterward. Yet there was something about her that always made her win an argument, there was something that always made it impossible for him to deny her most things. Now, here he was mentally rescheduling most activities for that day, to make sure he attended the party at all cost. She wasn't expecting it, but he knew she would go bananas with joy, and that was all he wanted.

With the sunlight streaming in from her opened window, she gradually came into consciousness, rubbing her eyes as she made to open them. Reaching for her phone to ping Dayo was the first thing that came to her mind...then she remembered the argument they had had the previous night and his insistence on not coming for her Aunt's party. Putting up an "angry face" on her display message instead, she decided to ignore him for the rest of the day.

It was almost 2pm when he rushed back home and started to pack his things, he had hurriedly gone about few activities for the day, and even succeeded in getting a ticket for himself, even though it had not been his preferred airline. Who cares though, as long as he ended up in Lagos one way or the other. He picked out his overnight bag and grudging began to throw in his clothes, perfume, hairbrush... "Damn, things you do for love" he muttered under his breath, as with hands on hips he paused to think of why he was doing this. He loved her madly he concluded in his heart, and this had been the case since they had first met two years ago. With a smile on his face, he did a quick check on the things he had packed before hurrying to the airport.

Taking a seat to catch her breath for a minute she scrolled through the numerous messages Dayo had been sending her all day. His words were sweet, apologizing and trying to make her understand why he couldn't make it over for the party, even promising to make it up to her. Smiling she put away her phone, got up and continued on her errands....She sure wasn't as pissed as she was yesterday night during their argument, besides she honestly knew if there was anything he could do, he would have been here. Still she was bent on making him beg and grovel, just for the fun of it.

He noticed she still had that "angry face" up on her display and had replied none of his pings. She sure was one hell of a case and he loved her for it. He imagined her reading his messages and ignoring them, simply bent on making life miserable for him. Chuckling softly, he began to imagine what her expression would be when she saw him at the venue of the party...it would be hilarious for sure. "Baby please talk to me" he again sent to her while at the waiting lounge...He knew he wasn't going to get any response...and he did not.

She had been so busy all day, ensuring all things were in place; food, drinks, caterers, servers, decoration..."Ha..." she sighed when the party eventually started and she had a chance to rest her feet. Dayo...she thought and excitedly fished out her phone looking forward to more "I'm sorry, I love you". After she read the last message he sent her, she finally decided to give him a break... "I'm really not angry babe, just wish you could be here"...she had scarcely typed when she heard her Aunt (not the celebrant) call her name. Off again she went.

After they had all boarded and the plane was ready for take off, the voice of the air hostess making her routine speech floated through to his subconscious. He read her response and was elated. Of course he knew she had just been intentionally giving him a hard time, still he was glad it was over. He hurriedly sent Toni a last message before he had to turn off his phone. He then secured his belt, laid back and closed his eyes counting down till they got to Lagos... "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now in Lagos and would be making our landing very soon, please ensure that your seat belts are secured...". Excitement started to course through him at the thought of seeing her very soon. Thinking of it now, he had missed her much, and he was actually glad he had decided on this trip. "She would have a fit" he thought, laughing out loud and earning a strange look from his seat partner.

News of the plane crash had filtered into the party hall, and dampened the mood of everyone except her. God forgive her, but she was elated, not because people had died, but because she kept thinking it could have been Dayo, with her foolish insistence that he come for this stupid party. She went about looking for her phone, not remembering where last she had placed it. Still looking for her phone she ran into her Aunt - the celebrant, "Ha Toni, thank God Dayo didn't come o... Oya go and call him now and apologize okay"... She nodded and continued her search, all the while thanking her stars and thinking of the sweetest words she would use to psyche him.

She finally found her phone with a friend of hers whom she had earlier given it to. She punched in Dayo's number, and waited unsuccessfully for it to connect, over and over again. "Terrible network" she hissed as she opened her pings. Scrolling to the last message she received from him, the words that greeted her eyes were; "I'm on my way babes, leaving the airport now...wanted it to be a surprise. Call you when we touch down...Love you"

(This was published in the "Dana Crash Anthology - So we do not forget")

BEERS GONE UNETHICAL

2013-04-07T01:20:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in the comforts of my living room watching a program on my television when an advert came on. It was that of 33 export lager beer; the gist of the advert is that a couple of guys were at the bar when the wife, girlfriend or fiancée of one the guys called. The guy urged his friends to keep it quiet while he received the call and then went ahead to lie that he was in traffic and his friends also helped in making “traffic noises”. The moral of the advert accordingly was that of friends that would do anything.

My expression after seeing this advert? *mouth wide agape, speechless and head shaking from side to side*. I can totally imagine fans of the brand watching the advert and raising their glasses amd cheering, passing comments like; “Na so o”, “Way to go bro”... *I shake my head*

Pardon me, but I don’t get it, since when did we lose our values to the extent of propagating them like it was common culture. You say the youths have had their values eroded by the influence of the TV on them, especially with the invention of cable network...and I agree to a large extent. But since when did advertisements become unsafe to watch.

Brings to mind another advert by a drug company which luckily I cannot remember their name. The gist was that of a husband who happily gave his wife drugs and left her home to attend a party alone and was then happily frolicking with a female. Two things I’m bothered about; it preached self administration of drugs and also infidelity.

If these adverts are the output of some "creative" minds then we do have a problem. As much as I am most times lost as to the creative concepts of some international adverts, I cannot recollect any one propagating immorality so obscenely. I make bold to say that these adverts were conjured by a bunch of egotistical males because I would find it embarrassing if it were a fellow female who found that hilarious enough to become an advert. Ah pardon the feminist sword I just drew on you guys...it’s nothing personal.

On the whole though we have to face it - yes the economy is in the dirt; yes our morals are gone with the wind; yes we have lost our way somewhat...somehow. But are we now at the point where we boldly flaunt our inefficiencies. My anger is specifically directed at the so called bodies supposed to be monitoring these things. Do they even know their jobs and besides do they even know any differently from the rest of us; are they professionals in their fields? For Pete’s sake we have a handful of them; APCON, ADVAN... what the heck are their duties.

It’s sad really because yet again we have shown our inefficiencies as a nation; our lack of professionalism in every sector; our lack of character; our lack of values, in fact our lack of everything. Sadder is the fact that the right people might not get to read this piece, but I believe those adverts should be withdrawn, and the companies should in fact be fined heavily. I’m drained from thinking of the many loop holes of this country; I only pray we find help somehow, someday...SOON!

Book of Chronicles

2013-03-28T01:54:00.000-07:00

We didn’t care a bit
Threw caution in the air, not caring about the world
I think that’s what killed us
We loved like we knew, fought like we ought
We had no one or thing to hold us down
And that was number one

We tried and tried, maybe even tried too hard
I think that’s what killed us
We loved like was expected and fought like we were taught
We were just growing, still had dreams...but in love
We wanted it all, but couldn’t give up naught
And that was the second one

We were too much in a hurry, I don’t know where to…
Guess experience had taught us both – ‘no time’
We didn’t care for the niceties; all we wanted was to get down
Not sure we ever loved, we never even fought
We gave ourselves much space…too much if you ask me
And that was number three

Your laughter just caught my attention
I watch as your eyes twinkle too
Can tell you have a good heart, I allow myself a smile
I’m sure there’ll be plenty of fights, but I’ll love the make-up too
And right now our eyes are locked in twos
I’m guessing you’ll be number four

The One Percent Difference...

2013-02-19T18:33:00.001-08:00

There's a game on my phone - Bubble Shooter or something like that. The gist however is that you have to succeed at one level to proceed to the next, and succeed in this regard means you have to score a hundred percent. Every time you score less than a hundred, it boldly writes FAILED!!!.

So on this fateful day I and my brother get to to this level where after several attempts, we always end up with ninety-nine percent (99%) ad still it gives us FAILED. Then it dawned on me, that there really is a thin line not just between love and hate, but also between failure and success and in general - good and evil.

That single blow that kills a man, that one argument that ends a relationship, that single gesture that changes your life, that one word that affects a life.... these are the one percents in our lives. True we most times do not know what the next moment holds, but to a certain extent we can do our part. We can guard our choices, give our best, and most of the time that best is only one percent away.

You know how back in school, lecturers can mark you up on a test or exam, when you are just a mark or two away from the cut-off point...but life doesn't always mark us up, we have to give it our all. I believe the seemingly little things are the most important things that with time add up to a great life.

I believe that a life of ninety-nine percent (99%) really is no use if the most vital one percent (1%) is missing, I believe that the world itself is ruled by many one percents (1%), I believe that all that is needed for a great life, is one percent - one best percent!

What Do You Think?

WORDS AND OPPOSITE

2013-01-14T03:17:00.000-08:00

Prince charming number one wasn’t much of a talker
Just a nod and a smile, but no...he wasn’t a stalker
So I’ll get all chit-chatty-chit, until I was a bother
So I named me word and he the opposite
We were friends and lovers; we were all we could be
But on a day like this, it all came to a finish

Now the second prince charming…oh he was the talker
He could go on and on and still be his charming self
So I will sit and smile, once in while complete his sentence
No doubt he was word, and I the direct opposite
And in our own little world, we were like five and six
But just like the first, he’s also come and gone
Can’t tell the story though, we might be here till dawn
Now I’m here at a crossroad not sure what to look for
Because if need be, I could play the opposite, or even word

And did I tell you there’s now prince charming three
He talks when need be, and can listen when you need him
A perfect blend of both worlds, so it might seem
I know what you’re thinking, so go ahead and ask me
The question on your mind is; is he my word or opposite?

HELLO MISS…

2013-01-06T06:53:00.000-08:00

Hello Miss…
Did you think we would come this far
Once upon a time it was I spotted you from afar
Taking each day as it came, we became pals
Loving our excesses, together we have raised the bar

I have noticed whenever I’m with you
There’s nothing we cannot together pull through
Couldn’t ask for more…with you I’m happy
I hope you feel the same way, are you happy?

Yes Sire…
Seems like yesterday, skinny you didn’t even have a car
But you had a heart and together we have come this far
A look in your eyes and I knew there was no turning back
Now we have our love, the cash and even the cars

You had your shortcomings, but I also had mine coming
Making our own rules, love kept our hearts beating
Couldn’t ask for more, with you I’m more than happy
Our lives have just begun, and it’s with you I want to see the ending

How Long…Too Long!!!

2012-12-07T11:04:00.004-08:00

Brian McKnight’s 6.8.12 is on, on my playlist
I swear these songs don’t help me one bit
Remember how we would sit at home all day
Arguing which club was better-yours or mine?

Remember how you would call me up and say
All I wanted was just to hear you smile
I would chuckle, shake my head and call you sly
Since when could one hear another smile?

Remember how we would stay up all night
Sharing our dreams and all that we had in mind
Remember… oh stop me from going on and on
All I need remember is you are no longer mine

Remember how you would rub my back
With dabs of menthol when I had a cold
Remember how… Oh there I go again
I really should stop; I’m starting to sound old

Those thoughts and memories ought to be lost in time
But you are one helluva flame that’s refused to die
Not six months, not a year…it’s been forever
I don’t know why my heart wouldn't find another

Yet right now I’m sure you are asleep in another’s arms
While I again stay up late writing sorrowful psalms

Outside these Walls

2012-12-06T01:38:00.000-08:00

Hey guys...

I'm guilty of leaving you guys expectant for too long and I am terribly sorry.

However, I have been writing and though these pieces of work may have been outside these walls I'm here to let you in on them.

I have two new pieces... "Daily Bread" and "Spoils of War"

These two pieces are featured on the blogs of some great friends of mine, who sooner than later, you will also be reading their works on my blogs. So please check my works and check the blogs, I bet you will love them.

Click here bunmiodunowo.com/?p=4669 for "Spoils of War" and here http://www.shaiontheprowl.com/?p=827 for "Daily Bread"

Echoes and Mirages...

2012-11-03T23:51:00.000-07:00

Kelvin!!!

I stopped myself from practically jumping out of my skin.

Kelvin!!!

This time I did jump out of my skin and was about to let some harsh words jump out of my mouth, before I looked behind me to see her clinging to the wall with all the strength she had left. With my heart in my mouth, I raced to the bedroom to get the baby stuffs and grabbed my car keys from the bedside stool. I wrapped my arm round her waist and helped her to the door, enduring the pain searing through me as she clawed up and down my shoulder.

We got to the hospital in one piece and I was grateful for the miracle. From all the screaming and barking, a part of me had thought we were both going to end up wrapped round a tree. With a silent prayer of gratitude I alighted and raced to the other end of the car to help her. Thankfully, the Nurses must have caught sight of us through the glass doors; so they came to our aid, leaving me to carry the bags and scurry after them.

I said different prayers in my heart over and over again as I watched her being wheeled away, beyond the swinging double doors – with most of it mumbled up, because for the life of me I couldn't remember the last time I prayed. This was an important moment though and I figured God would be gracious to me and answer my pleas. We had been married for five years and this was our first child, so it was really important that things went well. A part of me however felt confident, because all through the pregnancy period; she had had no problems at all – still one had to pray.

She was taken into the delivery room, while I dealt with documentation and the countless emotions raging through me. It occurred to me thirty minutes later to call her parents and mine, then I found out I had forgotten both our phones at home. For a moment I considered going back home, but I discarded that thought. I reasoned it couldn't be that long and no one would have the time to be mad at me for not calling them immediately, when they eventually heard the good news.

It’s been two hours already, and I was beginning to get impatient and scared too. Finally the doctor appeared to tell me that there was no cause for alarm.

“She is primi (a medical term used to describe first timers) and as such prolonged dilations such as hers are not unusual” – those were his words. I watched his back as he retreated and I felt more at peace having told him to extend my love to her.

Another two hours passed and I was told her cervix was not yet fully dilated… ‘How dilated does she have to be’ I wondered, oblivious that I had actually voiced my thought. The man sitting next to me chuckled and urged me to relax.

“They usually say they have to be about 10cm wide… I have been in your shoes before and I am sure everything would be fine”. His words were kind and comforting; they were all that I needed to relax.
*********************************************************************************************************************

“Mama Tayo, there is someone at the door”

Very typical of my husband to call me from the kitchen to come attend to a door that stood mere meters away from him, sometimes I wondered how we had survived these long thirty years.

“I am on my way” I responded, as I made my way to the living room. The person must be really impatient I thought, going by the persistent sound of the doorbell. I urged my legs to carry me faster, until I finally reached the door - pausing briefly to catch my breath, I opened.

“Mama”… the sight of my daughter and her ungraceful attempts to kneel in greeting, with a near full term pregnancy greeted my eyes when I opened the door.

“Ha ah… get up my child…Asake ogo, omo ago ma go de nu…omooba l’oja iwoye (eulogies)… You are welcome”.

The sight of his child was all Papa Tayo needed to tear his eyes off the soccer game he had been so enthralled in.

“ Wouldn't you save any of the greetings for your father?” he jokingly beckoned with arms wide opened, as they both met in a warm embrace.

It was no news that we still treated our twenty nine year old daughter like a baby, but we were not ashamed of it – she was all we had.

Interrupting the father-daughter show of affection, I gently grabbed Tayo by the arm and nudged her towards a seat.

“You should not be going around like this you know?” I mildly scolded her

“Mama you worry too much, I just needed to see you both. Besides we had earlier planned that I was going to come spend time with you and Papa”

“After your delivery” I added with a glare, making it obvious that she had cleverly omitted that important part of the plan

“Before or after the delivery, all that matters is that I see you Mama”

“Let the poor girl be, she just dragged herself and three other people along to come see you” her father interjected

“Three? Papa no o” Tayo exclaimed and we all burst out laughing.

It was always a pleasure to have her around, and truth be told we had missed her so much – after all it used to be just the three of us for a very long while.

“Let me get you something to drink my dear” I went to kitchen and returned later with drinks for the three of us.

“I hope your husband knows you are here Tayo, because I would not put it beyond you to sneak here without his knowledge”

“Mama Haba…I honestly think you need to stop worrying so much”

“That does not answer the question still”

“You women have started again; please stop all this bickering. By the way when are you due?” that was Papa Tayo’s way of effectively changing the subject

“Any moment from now Papa”

“It’s okay my dear, we continually pray for your safe delivery”

“Thank you Papa”

With that, we settled down to catching up on everything happening to each of us; most especially Tayo, the baby and her husband. She laughed a lot and seemed really happy; so much that at more instances than one, I felt tears well up behind my eyes – tears of joy.

The next time we paused from all the talking, I thought it was time to actually prepare something for us to eat. To my surprise, Tayo also got up and announced she had to be on her way back home…only then did I realize that we had talked for about three hours straight without any thought for the time. How time flies?

We hugged and hugged reluctant to part ways, and arguing briefly over whether her father should drop her off and her insistence that she was fine. Finally, I and her father bade her goodbye. For the next five minutes, I sat curled up next to my husband silently watching the T.V – I sure knew we were both reminiscing the moment spent with Tayo. I was content to stay there for as long as I could, but then the phone rang.
*********************************************************************************************************************

It was a mild tap that woke me, leaving me a little embarrassed about having fallen asleep. I looked to my side to find that the man who had earlier been there, was nowhere in sight – ‘he probably left already’ I thought. I then turned my attention to the doctor before me, hoping for some good news.

Like a possessed animal, I seized him by the throat; he had to pay for this. Who or what gave him the right to just walk up to me and calmly announce to me that my wife was dead. How could she be dead? Just a little while ago, he had told me all was fine with no cause for alarm. So how could she be dead?

It had to be a joke. “Tayo! Tayo!” screaming her name, I ran down the hall in the direction I had seen them take her. I don’t know why I stopped; I don’t know why that room, but I turned the knob and there she was. My legs felt terribly heavy as I walked towards the bed she laid on… She could not be dead, she was still as pretty as ever; she still felt warm and had that resigned yet peaceful look on her face.

Calling her name and urging her to open her eyes and look at me, my initial whisper inadvertently turned into frantic cries. Dropping to my knees beside her, severe sobs racked through my body. “What would I do now?” I asked myself over and over again right there on the ground weeping like a distraught child – until I felt the Nurses’ arms lift me up and pull me out of the room…

I don’t know how I got home, I don’t even know how I found my way…but I was home and the only person I could think to call was her mother. The line rang its full length with no response the first time, but I tried again. This time Mama Tayo picked it at the first ring.

“Tunde Omo mi, how are you”

Silent I stood at the other line. How was I to tell her that her child, her only child had just died trying to have my baby. How was I to tell her that Temitayo my best friend and pillar had just left me without warning?

“Tunde, hello…can you hear me”

“I… I am here Mama”

“What is wrong, you don’t sound too good, or are you angry that T…”

“Mama I am sorry… I am really sorry, really sorry” I crumbled to the floor cradling the phone to my ears and weeping like a baby.

“Tunde what is it? Are you home? Is Tayo home yet? Did something happen?”

I could tell she was scared and confused and I felt terrible knowing I was the cause.

“Tayo is dead Mama, just now when she was trying to have our baby”

First there was nothing but silence…dead silence; I was scared something had happened to her. Then I heard a sob, a very soft one you almost couldn't hear it….then she started going on and on about something. I couldn't hear her well, partly because I was so distraught and partly because of bad network. Still I held the phone and listened, hoping I would somehow make sense of what Mama was talking about.

Just when I began to think probably Mama had gone delirious as a result of the news, I heard her clearly say “She just left here” and then the line went dead.

I saw a picture of you!

2012-10-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

I saw a picture of you
Your lips were slightly parted
"He said a prayer.." the thought came to me
I guess that was the last thing on your lips

I saw your eyes rolled up to the heavens
maybe you were sending out a plea
or desperately looking out for a miracle

I saw your hand stretched out with palms open
desperately hoping that someone would take them
and help you up...help you out of there

But no one came,no one dared...no one cared
There really was no love in the heart of the city
let alone in the heart of the people

I saw a picture of you
now it's all I can think of!

#Aluu4

How did we get here?

2012-10-09T01:30:00.000-07:00

How did we get here? What have we become? Where did we go wrong? How do we find our way back?

These are some of the numerous questions that have been plaguing my mind since I heard of the Aluu incidence. I do not want to go into the various versions of stories that I have heard...I don't want to go into them because none of these stories can help me understand the justification or motive for these killings....and believe me, I desperately want to understand.

I never watched the video (don't think I want to), but I heard and read the news and saw them pictures....I was scared! It leads me to think even the person next to you is to be feared.

Is it pain or grief, anger or frustration, evil or just fun that would make humans lynch their own fellow being in such a disdainful manner? Words do not even do justice to the many emotions coursing through me. We daily pray for peace and good leadership, but some place inside of me, I feel we deserve the leadership and treatment that we get; because we have over and again proven ourselves a ruthless people with no compassion.

Yes, this is our country and we have the right to demand the type of life that we want, but let's go about it the right way. Let's not completely corrode the line that separates good from evil; right and wrong are still different, and not just in their spellings. What now is the greater sin, Lynching or Stealing?

No matter the reasons we give, no matter the arguments presented; what is wrong is wrong, and this...this is unarguably wrong.It is incidences like this, that makes me question the state of mind of people in this country. A lot of people need help; psychological and emotional help. We pride ourselves as a hustling people, who survive no matter what - but occurrences like this are the little pointers to the wear-and-tear happening inside some people, not visible on the outside.

I am scared o...truth be told; besides been confused, angry or dazed, I'm really scared. For the conditions of this Nation, for the children yet unborn,for even the next minute.

We desperately need to find our way back... to a better place, a better point - and it's not God alone that will help us, we need to help ourselves!

Queen

2012-09-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

*in wande coals voice* been long you saw me...

So I've been absent a while, but not without reason. I am hosting my very first guest blogger (Monika Ribeiro) here today and her featured piece "Queen" is an amazing poem. Queen is what she likes to call "the other side of the coin" to my lst piece "Just before you leave" and I couldn't agree with her more.

Okay enough of my talk...just enjoy the poem and please drop a comment. Thank you!

Again, she is called by the voice of his eyes
Again, she infuriates him daring to say ’I won’t come’

‘She must think she is too good’, considers the king
‘She must think she’s good enough to be chased by me!’

He’s too busy with himself to care what’s inside the queen
He can’t hear her desperate although silent scream…

Queen is bored with her own beauty and their phony love
She no longer loves the king and no longer hears from God…

The king cannot calm her fears, does not want to wipe her tears
Cannot save her and she hates him for he no more gives her joy

She’s exhausted in her rest and king’s words no longer work…
Once they shared passion and romance – now it’s like a business deal

He wants to boast in her beauty, she wants to be seen
He wants her to satisfy him, she wants to be queen

Like one of the royal dancers she puts on a show, each time
Queen’s just like the future queens and queens of the past…

She’s cleaning her house and fixing her hair…
Draws lines around her pretty eyes filled with emptiness

She keeps running from herself, yet she’s everywhere
And she moves away from the Light convinced it won’t shine on her…

Now, her soul’s no longer willing. Now, she loses everything
Her king turns his back on her… She’s no longer queen…

He leaves her no ‘Royal Palace’ in which she could hide
Her mind fails; she’s too exhausted to reason with lies…

She is empty... Queen she knew now completely dies…

Yet, she breaks in tears filled with willingness
Yet, she takes what was her crown, puts it in His Hands

And she asks for His forgiveness, so she can forgive herself
And she prays for one more chance, and the strength to change…

Answers find her in the midst of pain…
Even though the king is gone still
Queen is born again…

By Monika Beata Francisco-Ribeiro

Monika is my first guest blogger and I am honoured to have her here. She is an amazing talent who's love and passion is burrowed deep in writing. To read her full profile, please check here: http://www.blackheritagetodayuk.com/1224/monika-beata-francisco-ribeiro/

JUST BEFORE YOU LEAVE…

2012-08-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

I just want you close

Where I can keep you from the cold

Wrap my arms tight around you

Until we become one, and not two

Place your head secure on my chest

Maybe gently slip my hands under your vest

Stroke your hair gently, maybe in ones and twos

With thoughts of how you I never want to loose

Feel your body warm up to mine

Feel us both mould into a straight line

Even as our hearts together beat in unison

Playing the tune of a love that defies reason

Echoing the desires of two hearts together bound

Telling the tale of how each other we found

I just want you close

Where I hope we can together grow old

The Dana Crash Anthology – So We Do Not Forget

2012-08-09T01:20:00.001-07:00

. The Dana Crash Anthology

A collection of write ups in different genres put together to honor the memories of our heroes who passed in the Dana Crash of June 3, 2012. We might not see their faces again, hear their laughter anymore, never hold their hands again...but these memories we can keep, and these memories we WILL keep.

We cannot begin to say we know or can imagine what they felt or went through, but we can tell their stories in the little ways we know how, honour their memories and make their deaths not just another casualty.

In these stories, poems et al, we hope we find healing, we hope we find closure and we hope we find peace, knowing that these memories will never fade!!!

Read and DO NOT forget!!!

http://www.naijastories.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/So-We-Do-Not-Forget-Anthology.pdf

What Could be More Vain?

2012-08-06T09:50:00.000-07:00

My mind went (still is) on a journey of recent, and I cannot say it’s good, neither is it bad. I paid a visit to a colleague’s mother in LUTH and my allergy for hospitals heightened. I always complained about a smell, a particular smell I never could get rid of – gosh now I know the smell. The smell of drugs, the smell of decaying wounds, the smell of draining urine, the smell of pus, the smell of blood…I could go on and on, but that’s not why I’m here.

A month or two ago, a friend of mine asked me what my plans were, I was speechless. Very unusual of me, and my friend knew it…so the apparent question was; ‘what was the problem?’ You see I knew what the problem was, I just didn’t know if anyone could understand me. I felt nonchalant all of a sudden; I figured there was really no point to life. If we plan-we die, if we do not plan-we still die. Forgive me if I sound too depressing for you, but trust me that was not my intention.
What really is life? Nothing but a fleeting moment…no matter how long the moments last, they still pass. Briefly let me give you a picture into the echoes of agony that rang in my head. I saw a young lady living on the support of oxygen; pretty and going by her bare finger – unmarried. Then there was an old lady with severe burns all over, of course my colleague’s mother with a foot about to be amputated, a very old woman with head the size of a watermelon and kitted with pampers – and the list is endless.

Needless to say that there were people in there who had no idea where they were…they laid there like lifeless bodies and only with the rhythm of their breath could you tell that they were still alive. I wake up every morning, I eat, I hustle for bus, I complain about my job and how my pay is poor and how I need a new job…me thinks I need forgiveness.

I stopped making plans because I thought it wasn’t worth it and believe me, I still don’t believe otherwise. I put up on my Facebook about a week ago that we lose ourselves while trying to find ourselves – me sometimes think why try to find ourselves at all. Of course I started planning again (I will be super stupid not to), but I don’t sweat it. I figure if I had my way I would rather just sleep, eat and wake till the end comes, but then again I really want to make a difference. Life is fleeting as it is, I don’t want to compete with life by being just another fleeting element – just so we can find out which is more fleeting, life or me?

If you think I have been going on and on without actually saying anything, you are probably right – I think so too. My point however is, life is vain…too vain. The only excuse I look to when I try to find the reason why we even bother to accomplish anything in this life is because God said “Occupy till I come”, so I guess we’ll do just that. But if you have not gotten to the point where you can accept that there really is nothing in this life, then you live in deception – me thinks, only in losing the value we place on life, do we really find the value of life.

A last word though is while we are here, let’s do something worthwhile. I can never say this enough, but let’s bless lives - or even if it’s just one life. Now I think to myself, if I must live in this life; then it should be for just two things; to be happy and to make happy. Whatever you do that makes you happy – do it well, whatever you do that makes people happy – do it well. What more can we ask for, if we see the breaking of a new dawn in good health and peace of mind – then I believe that is all there is.

If you just read this and you think “gosh, just another rant”…then you still do not get it; and I am not sorry, but I’m sorry for you. Because guess what, writing this piece, made me happy and I’m pretty sure someone out there is happy to read this.
I want to end this now and all I can think of is; I’m blessed if I’m alive, I’m pretty if I’m alive, I’m rich if I’m alive, I’m content if I’m alive – I’m grateful, because I’m alive!!!