A Heaping TBSP of Life

Fredas, 3:35 PM, 31st of Morning Star

2013-03-13T08:07:00.000-05:00

Marcurio came back several days ago, he says he was worried I wouldn't be able to fend for myself, but I think he actually missed me. Either way it was an awkward greeting, he happened to arrive just as I had finished addressing a group of mages, the mages here do not know him as my lover, I had told them he was just a sword-for-hire. So when came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders I'm sure the mage's were all confused. I was a bit too, as I hadn't really expected him to come back. I am so very glad he did though. I'd been staying in my small room in the students hall up until that point, but with him back, we have officially moved into the Archmage's quarters.

Of course Marcurio wanted to hear the whole story about how I became Archmage. It was not half so complicated as he thought however, seeing as the Psijic order practically babysat all of us through the ordeal. The eye of Magnus, that monstrous powerful artifact that Tolfdir had brought back from Saarthal turned out to be even more powerful than we had expected. It succeeded in catching the attention of the Thalmor, specifically the weasilly Anacano who had been hanging around the college, claiming to be an 'adviser'. Anacano attempted to tap the power of the Eye, I'm still not sure why, perhaps he thought he could actually control it, perhaps he was just so weak minded the eye gained control of his mind. Either way he put our college, and the entire city in grave danger, summoning spectral creatures from outside mundus when he attempted to tap the power of the Eye.

In order to gain access to him, so that I could defeat him I needed to get Magnus's staff, a powerful artifact held in Labrynthian, put their by Shalidor himself. Trust me when I say that I got on a horse and I rode through the night as fast as the poor beast could go to get to Labrynthian. When I got to the ruin I continued to run, making no attempt at stealth. I doubt anyone has cleared a ruin that quickly in the history of Skyrim itself!

After acquiring the staff it was a simple matter of taking down the magical barrier and killing Anacano once and for all. After that ordeal I was named Archmage, seeing as both the former Archmage, and his assistant had been slain in the scuffles.

I am helping a fellow mage with a Dwemer inquiry he is working on at the moment, I am fascinated by the Dwemer as well, so I hope that our experimentations work out!

Several days later

2013-03-05T22:35:00.000-06:00

I'm at the college of Winterhold. The mages here found something of great magical power under the ruins of Saarthal. It's power is so great even I was able to feel it, all the way from the temple of the Blades. Marcurio stayed back with the blades. He has taken a liking to ancient dragon lore and decided to stay and study with them for a time while I discovered what the tremors of arcane power were emanating from in Winterhold. I find that oddly enough I miss the pompous bastard. He is an excellent lover. The thought of him clouds my mind at the most inopportune times, it's difficult enough for me to navigate now that I am on my own again. I am continually reminded of the fact that Marcurio believed it was possible for me to get my vision back. Perhaps after this business with the eye of Magnus is taken care of I will pester him to explain to me just how he thinks it would be possible to go about retaining ones eyesight.

There is a Thalmor 'ambassador' here who will not stop lurking around. He seems more than mildy interested in this artifact the college is holding here and I'm sure he'd stop at nothing to see its power become his own. I keep trying to find an opportunity to knife him while no one is around, but he seems to have caught on to my hatred and is avoiding being alone for more than a split second. Damn.

Loredas, 9:33 PM, 11th of Morning Star

2013-03-01T11:45:00.001-06:00

Marcurio and I are spending the night in Orothiem, a small cave we just recently cleared of Bandits. He remarked with a laugh that it seems strange the leader of the Thieves Guild, the Dragonborn is spending the night in a dirty cave surrounded by fresh corpses. I suppose to an outsider perhaps it would seem absurd, but this is where I feel most at home.

I intend to return to Lake-view soon and perhaps spend a few days there, see how the little girl is, and make sure the house is in good repair. Marcurio has offered to accompany me, it seems he does not wish us to part ways just yet, I am fine with that, although I'm not looking forward to introducing him to Lucia, she's a very curious child and is sure to ask too many questions.

Marcurio has been bothering me these last couple of days. He is insisting that with all the arcane knowledge in Skyrim, there must be a way for me to recover my eyesight. I don't know why he cares so much, I long ago resigned myself to the darkness. But if only to keep him from nagging about it I will look into it. I suppose he may have a point, I'm not sure I could handle the disappointment though if I actually did try finding a way and it turned out to be a dead end.

My hair has started to grow back. Strange, it's been nearly three years since the accident and never once before now had it shown any sign of regrowth. It's coming in rough and choppy and Marcurio says it's a silver white. It used to be auburn back when I had long locks.

The thieves guild is back on its feet, as it's guild-master I will have to check in every month or so with them, but I don't intend to spend any more time than I have to down in the ratway, it's still very putrid down there, despite all the effort they're putting into making it more hospitable. With Mavin's permission I gave Mercer's house to Brynjolf, he's a good man, honorable too, which is rare among those thieves.

Fredas, 7:24 AM, 3rd of Morning Star

2013-02-28T18:15:00.001-06:00

I spent the night at CandleHearth hall in Windhelm. I plan on setting out for Riften in an hour or two to inform Brynjolf that the Skeleton key which Mercer Frey stole from Nocturnal's Sanctuary has been replaced. The Pilgrim's Path is what they called the route I had to take to arrive safely at the inner sanctum. It was no easy route, although meeting the ghost of Gallus at the entrance of the temple certainly helped. He was able to give me a few hints, the most helpful was in pointing me in the direction of a certain long deceased adventurer who had a diary on him that Marcurio was able to read. It detailed the four challenges of the Pilgrims Path, or at least had cryptic notes on them. It was sufficient however. The first challenge was simple: defeat the guardians of the temple. We managed to take every one of the ghostly figures out silently and quickly. The next was similarly simple, once we deciphered the notes: avoid the light. Marcurio helped to guide me as we traversed from shadow to shadow, staying out of the rays of the burning light. The third followed along the same principles: Plunge the temple into darkness. We doused the lights and a doorway opened for us. The final challenge was the only one either of us had any real trouble with. The dead adventurer's notes had spoke of carrying on, but when we arrived at what appeared to be a very solid brick wall marking a dead end 'carrying on' seemed difficult to do. We stood and perplexed over just how to carry on for nearly an hour before Marcurio had a stroke of dumb luck. In frustration he hurled himself at the wall. Amazingly it worked, the wall vanished and we were transported to the inner sanctum of Nocturnal.

The Daedric Prince herself appeared then and spoke to us. Although she held a rather condescending tone, I am sure that she was pleased with our efforts in returning the skeleton key to her sepulcher. She granted me any of the powers that Nightingales could posses. I chose the Shadows, as the other two had limited use to me with my lack of vision.

I finally caved and slept with Marcurio last night. It's been months since my last encounter of such nature, and it reminded me how much I miss it. Perhaps it's not such a horrible mistake. I was rather expecting him to be flaunting his victory today, but he hasn't even mentioned it, which is to my liking. He also is not acting any different towards me, something else I was afraid of. I hate to think that he views me as just another woman to mark on his apparently ever growing tally. According to him he tries to woo a different woman every time we stop in a major city, I find that rather disgusting, but to each his own.

Morndas, 2:12 AM, 30th of Evening Star

2013-02-28T13:54:00.002-06:00

The guild has been good to me, better, in fact than I could have ever expected. My bounty is paid off and I am once again welcome in all the towns throughout the Rift. After running several mindless jobs for the guild it came to our attention that there was definiteley someone trying to take us out. I investigated of course, and, after traveling to Solitude and forcing the truth out of a certain Argonian there, discovered that it was a Dunmer by the name of Karliah who was so intent on making our guild suffer. Mercer Frey, the guild-master told me that this Karliah was a murderer who had killed Gallus, the previous leader of the Thieves Guild. It turned out however that he was only covering for his own past. After recovering and decoding Gallus's journal it was plain to all of us that Mercer was the one who had really killed Gallus. Unfortunately Mercer has since disappeared and we are at a loss to locate him. Brynjolf suggested that he may be intending to try to steal the eyes of the Falmer since he made off with many maps and notes relating to them. Stealing the eyes had apparently been Gallus's last big heist he had planned before Frey murdered him. If that is so then we must move quickly, those eyes are worth a fortune, and it is doubtful anyone will ever hear from Mercer Frey again if he succeeds in recovering them.

Karliah had Brynjolf and I inducted as Nightingales. Marcurio 'just happened' to disappear as we were speaking to her about the induction. I swear that man is more afraid of commitment than wealthy seadog...he has however tried many times to make a move on me as we traveled together. I've shut him down hard every time. Perhaps I'm being stubborn about it, but I still miss Erandur and am not ready to enter into a meaningless relationship with a crazy destruction mage no matter how suave and intelligent he may be.

While travelling back from Markarth we decided to swing up to Saarthal since I had finally gotten the mages permission to investigate the ruins in my search for the last piece of the Gauldur amulet. We found it, deep in the ruins along with a very curious orb. Tolfdir, the mage who had accompanied us into the ruins asked that we tell the Arch-mage of our discovery. I did, but other than that I have not done anything else in regards to it, matters with the theives guild are too pressing at the moment. I did however decide to take time to reforge the Gauldur amulet. It is indeed a powerful item. I intend to keep it secret and safe until I have a time to study it further.

Sundas, 11:00 AM, 7th of Evening Star

2013-02-21T11:17:00.003-06:00

Well. I am sober now. Three days later. Things have taken a change, perhaps for the worse, I'm not so sure yet however. I do not remember doing any of the things I've been told I did, but apparently I caused quite a scene. As in a have a bounty on my head that is over ten thousand gold. I don't remember myself these details, but according to the Imperial who pulled me out of the chaos I approached a guard and loudly began yelling at him, he said I shouted something and sent the guard flying across the room. Needless to say, no one appreciated that, and a swarm of guards immediately swooped down to try and arrest me. Well according to this Imperial I fought off half a legion of armed guards while not even able to stand up straight and did not show any signs of leaving the scene. He must have grabbed me at some point in the confusion and dragged me down here to the Ratway.

I don't know if I owe him my life, or if he's full of dragon droppings. Either way I was not pleased when I woke up with my wrists bound, my mouth gagged, laying on a dirty pile of hay. He's released me now, sense I really have no desire to cause any more damage. He says I shouldn't show my face until I find a way to clear my name. The most convenient way of course would be by contacting the thieves guild, although they may be weaker now than they were in years gone by, they still hold enough power here in Riften that they could eradicate my bounty. How I hate the thought of having to run errands for those lowlifes though! I hate Maven Black Briar even more, the thought of being her thrall makes me sick to me stomach.

Turdas, 11:07 PM, 4th of Evening Star

2013-02-20T21:34:00.001-06:00

Arrived in Riften this morning, I took a bit of a detour through an old draugr filled crypt and came out with the last word to my shout 'Kyne's Peace' It calms animals within a radius well over a hundred feet now. I'm not sure when I'll have need of it, but it's nice to have mastered another shout.

I still miss Erandur. I'm on my second bottle of Black Briar right now, and I know I should slow down, but why stop? I'm the Dragonborn, I should be able to at least drink myself into a stupor if I so wish. And besides the Argonian here is giving me drinks on the house since I dropped off those amethysts he wanted so badly finally. Hope they have a happy life. Or whatever.

A female Argonian who had a blasted long name gave me this funny lexicon, reminds me of another lexicon I had the other day, can't remember which one though.

There's a guard looking at me funny. It's making me angry.

I feel sick.

Turdas, 2:04 AM, 4th of Evening Star

2013-02-20T14:49:00.000-06:00

I'm camped out on the road to Riften from Whiterun tonight. Erandur is no longer with me. Although I see the sense in his decision to return to Dawnstar and continue to serve the people as a priest of Mara, I do not agree with his choice. But then my opinion is probably biased for I had grown close to him as he had to me. Before we parted ways outside Whiterun he grasped my hand tightly, I could feel that their was emotion surging within him, yet we Dunmer are a stoic people, and he even more so for he is a priest who has sworn his life to a divine. He said nothing else except the parting words of, 'May Azura smile upon you, and if your road leads to Dawnstar Nightcaller temple will always welcome you.' I found it interesting that he invoked Azura's name in his parting words, and not Mara's. But perhaps he knows that I find more comfort still in the traditional Deity of my people.

I miss him greatly, yet I am trying to help myself come to terms with the fact that he did what he must. Had we stayed together much longer his conviction to Mara would have certainly been shaken, he said so himself. He also told me that he had already abandoned one god, and he was not going to do it again.

I got attacked a few hours ago by a khajiit assassin She had a note on her body from the Dark Brotherhood. Seems someone wants me dead. I hope that Erandur does not also have evil stalking him, although he is a proficient fighter, he is not a warrior, he is a priest and he will not be prepared to defend himself against a trained killer.

I dropped off the inscribed lexicon to Septimus North of Winterhold College two days ago. After examining it for what seemed like hours he finally yelped in glee. It seems that the lockbox he is guarding can only be opened by Dwemer blood. I found this to be a conundrum but Sigmus was not deterred. He seems convinced that the blood of the Elven races can be mingled to form a similar blood type to the Dwemer. He gave me a vial and asked me to collect the blood for him. I was skeptical at first, as I have no intention of killing innocents to further his plans, but it may be easier to fill than I was expecting. I have already been attacked by bandits once since then and have been able to collect both Orc blood and Altmer.

I suppose I should at least summarize my experiences in Sovngarde, and how I came to defeat Alduin in his own realm. Perhaps posterity will one day find this little book and read its many cryptic notes and laugh in amazement that their ancestors were ever worried about such trivial things as mythical 'dragons'.

After I arrived in Sovngarde it took me a few moments to get my bearings. I was very hesitant about moving at more than a snails crawl for with the utter silence that surrounded me I was unable to use my usual tactics of noting sounds and their echoes for scouting my terrain. After what seemed like hours I finally arrived at what seemed to be a great chasm. A huge Nord man approached me then and introduced himself as Tsun, the gaurdian of Sovngarde. He told me in order to enter the hall of champions I would have to prove to him in battle that I was worthy. I swear he must have gone easy on me, for it was not a very difficult fight. Either way he allowed me to pass. He must have been laughing to himself as he watched me creep across the great bridge of bone that connected the two land masses. But I would much rather have a champion of Sovngarde mock me then fall to my death in the land of the afterlife...that poses an interesting theological question of what would happen next...but not interesting enough for me to get into at this time.

In the hall of Valor I was introduced to the original three Nord champions who brought down Alduin the first time. They offered me their unwavering support. Together we exited the warm feasting hall and crossed back over to the mainland. By combining our Thu'um we were able to finally clear the mist and drive Alduin out of his hiding place. He came swooping down in a cloak of fire, shouting curses at the four of us as he swept down.

This time the battle was so much easier than the first. Although Alduin had already regained some of his strength, this time I had three Nord champions fighting with me who have done nothing but spar and feast and think of the glory of battle for thousands of years. They were ready to kill a dragon, they knew his strengths and weaknesses already. It was a glorious battle, and in the end, as Alduin screamed in pain as I ripped his very soul from his body I felt as if I really was a champion.

After the battle Tsun, the massive gaurdian shouted at me, and the world faded. I'm assuming it was his shout which brought me back to the throat of the world. My legs were weak when I finally was able to stand on the snowy mountain top. Parthurnax was not the only mighty dragon who was waiting for me there. All around the mighty mountain black dragons swarmed. They all were shouting 'dragonborn' pledging me their allegiance. Although not all dragons have recognized me as the vanquisher of Alduin, the true Dragonborn, many many have, and they told me that they would help me to search out the rebels and thus end the attacks on civilians. It is a strange feeling to be revered by such mighty beasts, and one that I am sure I am unworthy of. I certainly didn't feel the part of mighty dragon slayer as I stood wobbling on the mountain, fresh out of Sovngarde.

Regardless, although there are still a few dragons who wish to bring Skyrim harm, the vast majority of them seem to have moved higher up into the mountains and will not be a problem to the common folk anymore. I believe that it is safe to say the dragon crisis is finally coming to an end.

Late Sun's Dusk?

2013-02-17T20:20:00.001-06:00

I meant to ask Erandur when he was in here what day it was, but I forgot. My head is still thick, but the Jarl's wizard says that I am healing well. According to him I am afflicted with some sort of sickness caused by my brief time in Sovngarde. I do not know why however. Was it because I am not a Nord? Or is it simply because I traveled to a plane of existence that only the dead are supposed to roam free in? I do not know.

There is so much to tell. I was able to use the Elder Scroll to travel back in time, or at least view the past. It was a strange feeling indeed, seeing with my mind's eye events which happened hundreds of years ago. The colors were all so vibrant, they made me miss my eyesight once again. But the vision was brief. I saw the Nord hero's bring down Alduin with the Dragonrend shout, I inscribed the shout in my mind so that I would not forget. Then I saw them use the Elder Scroll which I was holding to send Alduin forward in time. I do not believe that they had any idea where Alduin went however, they simply knew that he was gone. That was all. After I observed them use the elder scroll the vision abruptly ended. But my time at the throat of the world was far from over.

Alduin himself must have felt me using the scroll, for he came flying through the sky, a streak of black in the pale blue heavens. The fight lasted hours, long into the night, the only thing that kept me from freezing to death was the fiery breath of the two dragons who were clashing above me. Paarthurnax proved a valuable alley, although Alduin was an even more powerful foe. If it would not have been for the fact that it was three against one, I surely would have died on that mountain. Erandur was the one who shot the telling arrow that finally drove Alduin to the ground permanently But Alduin's revenge was swift, he lunged forward at my companion, his long, black neck writhing, snake-like through the air. Although his attack did not fully connect, his ivory teeth came close enough to slash two long furrows through Erandur's back. I knew in the frigid weather it would not be long before Erandur succumbed to either blood loss, shock or freezing. I had to finish the battle quickly. Erandur tried to get up to help in the fight, but Alduin was still after him, enraged I assume that the Dunmer's arrow had been the one which grounded him. Paarthurnax distracted the black dragon momentarily with a bone rattling shout while I ran to my comrade's side. He was resistant to my help, but I left him no choice. I dragged him behind a large outcropping, telling him if he moved he would have my wrath to deal with. He held my hand tightly before I left, and I could feel his eyes on me, imploring me to survive although he said not a word. The moment left me with a strange, foreign lump swelling up in my throat. Perhaps it was a sign of weakness but it was the weakness I needed to win. The thought of leaving this world at the jaws of the beast who may have sentenced my friend to death gave me the drive I needed to summon spells powerful enough to blast apart a cave troll. Alduin's strength was quickly depleting, victory hung in the air. And then the bastard ran, the coward leapt from the mountain top, used the momentum from his fall to find air under his wings, and he fled into the night sky.

I was furious. His life had been but moments from ending under the power of my Thu'um. I managed to get Erandur down the mountain to High Hrothgar where the Greybeards immediately set about tending to his wounds. I was torn at that point. I did not want to leave his side, yet I knew I had to track down Alduin and finish him while he was still weakened from our battle. Yet there was another battle going on inside my very soul as I struggled to lay low feelings which I have not felt for many years towards another individual. In the end it was Erandur himself who told me in a rather spiteful tone that if I did not leave and find Alduin, we were both going to die when the World-Eater came back, better prepared, for revenge. It was this statement that decided me. I spoke to the Greybeards briefly asking them where they thought Alduin had gone. There answers were unanimous: Sovngarde. Alduin traveled to Sovngarde when he was weakened to consume the souls of the dead and thus regain his strength. But the way into Sovngarde was a secret only the Dov knew. The answer was clear, I had to capture a dragon, one of Alduin's loyal followers, and make him pledge his allegiance to me and my Thu'um, make him show me the way into Sovngarde.

After a final goodbye to Erandur for the time being, I traveled to Whiterun to speak to the Jarl. Many years ago the Great Porch of Jarl Balgruuf's castle was used to capture the great dragon Numinex by Olaf One-Eye. It was my intention to repeat the trickery. Dragon's are vain creatures, I was sure I'd be able to get one to fall for the same trap if I could only lure it in. The difficult part was convincing the Jarl. He would not allow me to use his palace in such a compromising way while Ulfric Stormcloak threatened to attack. This made perfect sense to me, however it did make my job more difficult. Long story short, after many hastened carriage rides between Solitude, Windhelm, and Whiterun I was finally able to arrange for General Tulius, Ulfric Stormcloak, and Jarl Balgruuf to convene for a temporary peace conference at High Hrothgar. It was the only place I could convince them to meet at. The Greybeards are unanimously respected both by the Empire and the Nords of Skyrim, so it seemed best anyways that they hold the conference.

The conference was long, filled with prideful speeches by Ulfric whom I believe just loves the sound of his own voice, and a bit tedious. But in the end the Empire agreed to hand Markarth over to the Stormcloaks in exchange for Riften and monetary compensation for the massacre at Karthwasten. These were the terms of the peace until I was able to deal with the Dragon crisis. I'm sure as I write this both sides are already gathering up arms again to dive into the foray.

Regardless, Jarl Balgruuf was satisfied and he opened his palace up to my use. Thanks to Esbern and Delphine, who somehow heard that there were peace talks going on at High Hrothgar and decided to show up, I was able to learn the name of an Ancient Dragon who had been buried near Whiterun.

Standing on the edge of the Great Porch of Dragonsreach I inclined my face to the heavens and shouted with all my might. For several seconds there was silence, I could hear the Whiterun guards shifting uneasily behind me in their bulky armor. And then the roar of a dragon. When the dragon came closer I could sense that it truly was a mighty beast. However I had faced Alduin in battle just a few days ago, I felt no fear for this creature. I shouted taunts at it from the porch drawing it in closer. Finally it was within range, it came within mere meters of me, it's leathery wings beating the sky, making the banners of the castle whip wildly about in the artificial wind. I leapt down from my perch, and I shouted Dragonrend with all my might. The beast let out an unnatural howl of pain as the concept of mortality was pressed into its mind, it came crashing down into the great porch, it's tail smacking the stone work, causing mortar to fly everywhere.

The guards were ready with the great harness, they dropped it down upon the beast, clamping it to the ground. Then began a great verbal debate between me and Odaving, the captured Dov. He was naturally very resistant to answer my questions, but at the same time, he was my prisoner, and it was my Thu'um which had knocked him from the sky. Finally we arrived at an impasse. He told me he knew where Alduin's entrance to Sovngarde was, but there was no way for me to get there other than allowing him to carry me there. Meaning that I would have to free him from the harness. Both the guards and the Jarl bawked at this suggestion, all feared that the dragon would wreak havoc upon the castle if released. Perhaps I would have been skeptical as well, if it would not have been for the fact that I have dealt with Paarthurnax, he is a very powerful dragon, he is also honest, loyal, and true to his word. He has told me that this is how most Dov are, it is their lofty sense of honor which keeps them so. Because of this knowledge, I decided to take my chances and let Odaving out of the harness.

I took a chance, yes, but it payed off. Odaving did not leave me, nor did he attack the castle. He waited for me to join him, crouched down low to allow me to mount him, and then, with a great beating of wings, he took to the sky.

I wish that I had eyesight, if only just for the time when I flew threw the air on a dragon. What wonders and sights I must have missed because of my accursed blindness.

We made it to the mythical entrance of Sovngarde within an hour. After Odaving left me there followed many hours of constant battle against every undead atrocity Alduin had ordered to guard his doorway. It took every ounce of energy I had to keep carrying on. At least my tenacity proved enough, and I reached the final challenge: holding the key to the land of heroes was a Dragon Priest At this point I was in no mood to be toyed with, as the priest seemed to want to do. I evaded his energy bolts easily, constantly aware of my position on the high stone roof we fought on. I slammed him with a barrage of fireballs, knocking him off balance, I charged in closer, another barrage of fireballs hit him, knocking him back further. I continued my unwavering attacks, never giving him enough time to recover from one before I hit him with another. At long last his empty corpse dropped to the ground the silver staff, the key to Sovngarde fell from his bony hand.

Although I was tired beyond exhaust I could not stop yet, not when I was so close. Grasping the staff in both hands I fitted it into the large lock in the floor beneath me. I could hear the ground moving, feel the temple around me reshaping itself. And then a hot breeze shot up an out of the floor, a nose like a great tornado came from just ahead of me, pulling me towards it. I did not resist, the wind sucked my body off the temple floor. Disoriented, I fell, down down into a silent void.

And then I stood upon firm ground again. The air was hot and humid. It was absolutely still and silent. That was my first taste of Sovngarde.

There is more to tell but my head aches and my fingers are numb. I must rest again.

Unknown

2013-02-16T21:10:00.003-06:00

I believe that it has been many days, perhaps weeks since I last wrote an entry in this book. I have been very ill. Erandur is not here right now, he was wounded in the battle with Alduin, so I told him to stay at Dragonsreach. I do not know where he is anymore. I pray to Azura that he is still alive. I do not know what ails me. My head is thick, the air is thick, I find it difficult to breath and my very soul feels confined and constricted. I wish I knew where I was, but I try to stand on my legs and they give way. I cannot remain conscious long either, already I feel another rolling wave of blank nothingness sweeping over me. Constraining me. Threatening to take me under once again...Akatosh, save me...

Tirdas, 7:03 PM, 18th of Sun's Dusk

2013-02-15T17:50:00.001-06:00

Finding Septimus' Outpost was easier than I had anticipated, it was fairly easy to spot once I climbed down the cliffs from the college. Erandur easily caught sight of the thin column of wafting smoke out on the ice, and, assuming that there weren't too many people crazy enough to live over a frozen sea this far north, decided it must be Septimus Signus's outpost. It was. He was a crazy old mer, but he was able to at least point us in the right direction, which I was thankful for. He said that there was an Elder Scroll hidden deep underground in the Dwemer city of Blackreach and freely offered me a small orb which he said would unlock the entrance. I had never heard of this Dwemer ruin which puzzled me, as I had studied many of them, and read many tomes on them when I was looking for those Aetherium shards. Septimus however was able to enlighten me slightly on why this particular ruin had evaded me, apparently it is so far underground that one must access it by traveling through another, nearby ruin. The second ruin he mentioned was familiar to me, although I had never been actually near it and so thanking him for his cryptic information Erandur and I set off back across the ice.

Perhaps it is worth mentioning here that Septimus also gave me a strange Dwemer cube. He said that the Dwarves had developed a way of reading the scrolls which prevented blindness. Apparently they were able to somehow copy down the information contained in a scroll and transfer it onto a cube similar to the one Septimus gave me. He asked that before I took the scroll for whatever purpose I needed it for, that I first use the Dwemer machine to copy it down for him. Since he had helped me so much, I felt I must oblige him, however I do not intend on returning this cube to him until the dragon crisis is over, just on the off-chance that I may need it more than him. Although granted I have no idea, and probably no ability to read what is inscribed on this cube.

Upon entering the first level of the ruins we discovered what looked like the remains of a camp sight which had not been abandoned more than a day or two ago. However there was blood on the floor. As we ventured in further we continued to see signs of blood and brief struggles, however no sign of actual bodies, alive or otherwise until we reached a much lower level. Our first sign of the adventuring party came in the form of muttered Kajhiiti curses from up ahead. We approached cautiously it was obvious from the Khajiit's ramblings that he was in distress, it seemed that he was speaking to another party, although we never heard the other respond. He attacked us on sight, and we were forced to kill him. Erandur discovered a small journal near the head of his dead brother whom it seems he'd been speaking to. Apparently they were part of a party who came down here to find the city of Blackreach as well. The living brother had been a skooma addict and it seems that it had finally gotten the best of him. How his brother died we weren't sure, either killed by Dwemer machinations, or the skooma addict. Either way, he was quite dead.

As we ventured further into the ruins, we slowly discovered the rest of the adventuring party. All dead, killed off one by one by either Falmer, or the Dwarven guardians It's a pity they were not better prepared, but it seems it was their own over-eagerness and stupidity that got them killed. Dwemer ruins are not to be taken lightly.

Finally we reached what appeared to be the entrance to Blackreach, a huge room, its centerpiece a strange archaic device which we assumed to be the lock Septimus had spoke of. Septimus had told me that the orb he gave me would unlock the entrance, he was correct. As soon as I inserted the orb into the device a humming noise filled the room, the floor below my feet shifted to reveal a grand staircase leading to a huge elevator shaft. I was a bit concerned about getting on an elevator which was many thousands of years old, but there was no alternative.

Blackreach makes every other Dwemer ruins I've ever stepped foot in seem tiny. This must truly have been a huge center point for trade and commerce back when the Dwemer were in the height of their power. I felt almost as if I was outdoors at some points, the air, although moist was not thick or suffocating, in fact it seemed very healthy for plants and wildlife as there was plenty of both. Even though there were a few Falmer settlements, it seems even those vile creatures had not ventured this far down. We cleared out the few camps that we found, and then were able to walk in relative peace through this massive city.

Although I realize that I am on a mission which must be completed in a timely manner thus preventing the end of the world...allow me to go on a slight rant, as I am a mage and thus a student of all forms of knowledge. Thus Dwemer city was filled to the brim with things which, if brought out into the light, could forever change the way that the civilized world views this ancient society. First off, let me say that the lighting these people used was not anything ordinary. Erandur described it to me in great detail, it seems as if all of their lights, which have remained illuminated throughout the decades are powered by some sort of magical energy. In fact the whole place was overflowing with magicka. I could feel it tingling in the air, hanging heavy around us.

There was what seemed to us to be a small arena near the war quarters, and inside another building seemed to be a large lecture hall and student quarters for eating and sleeping. Perhaps the reason this powerful and intelligent race disappeared is simply because they became much too powerful, much too fast. I can see no other reason why they could have vanished. Or perhaps they discovered something else, something even more powerful and arcane. Maybe they still walk among us, they simply transported themselves to another dimension. If I ever have the opportunity to settle down, find my hiding place where I can set up a laboratory far from civilization...these Dwemer are going to be one of my prime studies. I must, someday, learn the secret of their disappearance...

But I must finish this entry soon, as it is getting late, and Erandur complains he cannot get to sleep with the sound of my quill scratching on parchment. We found what we though we were looking for when we finally arrived at the most prominent landmark of Blackreach, a great palace. Although we searched it fully however, we found no Dwemer machination of the type Septimus described. On a whim I decided to use my Thu'um, directing it at a huge magical orb which hung above the palace. I wasn't really expecting anything in particular, Erandur and I were just tired of searching and I could think of nothing else to try. The orb was laced heavily with magicka, so I assumed it must be linked to something.

Well, it did not open any secret door, nor did it reveal the way for us. It did however make an earsplitting 'gong' which echoed loudly throughout the entire city. I am glad that it is so very sturdy down there, or I would have feared an earthquake or landslide of some variety.

There was silence for a moment after the noise, but not for long. Soon Erandur and I heard the sound of leathery wings taking to the air. A noise both of us know well. A dragon. Yes, there was a very powerful dragon living down in the depths of Tamriel. A dragon that took us a good hour at least to bring down, and even longer to finally vanquish. It was the scariest dragon battle I have ever participated in. The landscape of Blackreach is treacherous after all these years, and I do not know my way around anywhere near well enough to trust my footing much in battle. I mostly resigned myself to hiding around a large wall near the palace and shooting out healing spells towards Erandur who was busy using his bow to down the beast. Once it landed it was easier for me to help out, for although a dragon's breath attack is powerful, it is not nearly as fast nor graceful on land as it is in the air.

Once the ancient beast destroyed, we were both much more cautious for awhile, speaking in hushed voices and walking lightly. We did finally find another tower which seemed to be some sort of laboratory. Inside was what we had been searching for. It took me many frustrating hours to figure out the ancient Dwemer machination, but finally I managed to make it do something. Once I figured out how to operate the machine, it was only a matter of minutes before I managed to get it to inscribe on Septimus' cube. Then it was just a simple matter of opening the shell containing the Elder Scroll. It was such an amazing feeling of power when I laid hands on the scroll. Of course I am incapable of ever reading a scroll, but even so I could feel a deep, arcane power, washing over me like waves. Erandur was very hesitant to even look at the closed scroll, he made me place it in my pack out of caution. I suppose he's afraid he'll suffer blindness but from my research one who has no knowledge of how to read the elder scrolls will also suffer no damaging effects from them. Even so I had no issue with holding on to it myself. An artifact of such value must be protected with the utmost of care.

After retrieving the Elder Scroll we used the elevator located conveniently inside the room to return to Skyrim's surface. We ascertained that Dawngaurd was the nearest settlement, and Erandur knew the way, so that is where we are right now. In the morning its back to High Hrothgar with this scroll. Hopefully either Arngier or Paarthurnax will be able to tell me how to use it to travel back in time and learn Dragonrend.

Sundas, 8:15 PM, 16th of Sun's Dusk

2013-02-14T11:20:00.000-06:00

I spoke with Arngier this morning and after some reluctance he divulged what knowledge he had of the elder scrolls. Which was very little. He told me that my best hope would be to go to Winterhold and inquire at the Mage's Guild there. That sounded reasonable enough to me, so Erandur and I set off after a quick breakfast.

By the time we arrived in Winterhold a horrific blizzard had set in, we considered staying at the inn, but decided against it, and made out way into the college instead. They mage's were hesitant to help me, and refused to even give me entrance (despite the blizzard) until I told them my purpose in coming to the college, and revealed that I was dragon-born Then they were more than willing to help. They made me an honorary member on the spot, gave me a tour of the college, and even had me listen in on one of their lectures before they finally answered my questions. I spoke to the Orc who runs the library. Brutish, irritable fellow, but he did have a clue as to who may know where an elder scroll is. My only clue is this book he had, written by a crazed scholar who apparently, 'disappeared up north'. It sounds as if this scholar has had first hand experience with the elder scrolls. Well, I'm stocking up on firewood and brandy. And then we are off to find an elder scroll!

Loredas, 2:40 PM, 15th of Sun's Dusk

2013-02-13T22:12:00.000-06:00

I have learned so much in the last few days. And yet I feel filled with so many more questions than before. The lore and tales of this land are only surpassed by it's actual history. To think that I may get to play an essential role in these tales is both awe inspiring and frightening.

I found Esbern, the old Lore Master of the blades camped out in the rat-way as I had suspected. I did have a little trouble getting to him, Riften is a most unscrupulous town. I found Brynjolf easy enough, he was the man I'd been told would know Esbern's location. He did seem to know, but he refused to tell me anything unless I helped him out. Well I was considering helping him until he revealed that what he needed help with was petty thievery There is no glory in stealing from the poor for ones own amusement. I turned him down flat, hurt his feelings a little actually I think, at least he got a very hurt tone of voice.

With that door closed firmly, I wen to my next best bet to find information, the innkeeper. She is a lusty Argonian maid, and indeed she did know, or at least had a suspicion as to where Esbern was hiding out. She told me that there was an old man who lived down in the Rat-way Warrens who matched my description. She also eluded to the fact that I was not the first to ask for his location. That was my first clue that the Thalmor were closer than I had thought.

I was apprehended on my way out of the tavern by another Argonian, I had thought he was the mate of the innkeeper from the way he followed her around, but it turned out he was not quite her mate yet. He timidly asked me if, in my adventures I should happen upon any flawless amethysts that I would let him have three for a wedding band. Apparently is is Argonian tradition to have three flawless amethysts, two representing the bride and groom, and the center one representing the Hist. I told him I would do my best. I actually have the stones on my person right now, I retrieved them on my way back from Riften by stopping at my house, I have many precious stones there. Now I just have to find time to get them back to him.

I helped out another citizen as a matter of fact before venturing down into the rat-ways This one was a dark elf, with a strange, black marsh sounding name. Talon-Jei or something if I remember correctly. I stopped at his stand in the market to sell off a few trinkets, and upon hearing his name, inquired why he carried such a strange title. Apparently his parents were refugees who were slain many years ago when he was but a child, he was adopted by Argonians and brought to Riften. His story meant nothing to me, until he mentioned that he had been wrapped in a blanket of House Telvanni. Then suddenly my memory was jarred. I have been carrying this little dusty diary around with me for months now, mostly just because it's an interesting read. I found it in a shipwreck up by Windhelm The Dunmer's story matched up almost perfectly with the chronological account contained in the diary. I gave him the book on a whim, asking if it looked familiar. He was exuberant. I was glad I was able to help, but I miss my book. I'm going to have to find something else to read now on dark Skyrim nights to help me sleep.

After that I finally had my opportunity to sneak into the rat-ways As all the good (of which there are few) citizens of Riften had told me, the rat-ways were populated with vermin. Both animal and human. I was hesitant at first of what to attack, but the further we moved through the tunnels, the less I held back. By the time I reached the Ragged Flagon, I was killing everything that moved.

Inside the Ragged Flagon I was greeted less than hospitably. It was filled with what I assume were a bunch of thieves, since I've heard they're holed up in the rat-ways. They were able to point me in the right direction however. On a side note there was a certain woman by the name of Vex who called herself an appraiser. I've been carrying this unusual gem around with me for months, hoping that someone could identify it. On a whim I showed it to her. It was obvious from her tone of voice that she recognized it, but she refused to tell me anything about it because I was not a member of her 'guild'. I would really like to find out what this gem is worth, it's not the first of it's kind I've found, I have several more sitting in my manor. It may almost be worth getting into their group just so I can figure out it's value. Later of course.

On my way out of the Ragged Flagon I had my first run in with the Thalmor. Seems they had a contact on the Riften streets who had blown my cover. Between Erandur and I, we disposed of them quickly. The thieves were no help. I suppose they are run by Mavin Black-Briar, and she is friends with the Thalmor...so it makes since. Anyways, I managed to find Esbern after that with little trouble. He is a paranoid old Nord, but he finally let me in and spoke with me.

After much convincing he agreed to come back to Riverwood with me. We got out of the rat-ways as quickly as possible, hired a carriage and went straight to Riverwood. I had no desire to have any more run-ins with the Thalmor.

Once we got to Riverwood the four of us locked ourselves down in Delphine's secret cellar and held conference. As we had hoped, Esbern had some ideas about why the dragon's are coming back, and potentially how we can stop them. Erandur told me he's with me to the end, and added ruefully, whether he wants to be or not. I suppose he's right, the Thalmor have him down as my accomplice now. Nowhere is safe for him. We're better off sticking together for now. I'm secretly glad though, I enjoy his company and dark sense of humor. Very dark for a priest of Mara...

According to Esbern our best bet was to travel to Sky Haven Temple, an old Akaviri fortress by Karthspire. I knew the area well, and offered to meet them there. I wanted to scout ahead, clearing the path and making sure that all went well on the journey. Erandur agreed it would probably be best if he stayed with Esbern and Delphine and made sure that they got to the ruin safely. Neither of them liked the fact that we thought they needed a bodyguard...but they accepted his assistance in the end.

As I had expected, Karthspire was once again populated with Forsworn. I cleared out the camp about three months ago, but those people populate and spread like rabbits, so I wasn't surprised to see it once again crawling with them. A dragon attack surprising aided me in clearing the camp, as I was able to let it wreak havoc and also take damage before I stepped out of the shadows and cleaned up. Just as I had hit the beast with the final fireball, Erandur and his party arrived. Esbern was in awe when he saw me absorbing the soul of the beast. He kept going on about it until I silenced him with a harsh word. I don't see the point in belaboring over every detail. We need to focus more on how to end these dragons returns, and then perhaps study the light pattern that a soul being absorbed by a Dunmer makes...

We found the entrance to the temple easily enough, it was just through the entrance to Karthspire. The door was locked however with a mechanism which I found foreign. Esbern however recognized it immediately It was a blood seal. He said to open this seal only the pure blood of a dragonborn would work. I realized that meant I would have to sacrifice my blood to allow us entrance and that it had to be done. So I did the only thing I could think of that would give us enough blood to fill the seal. I borrowed a short dagger from Esbern and slit my hand side to side. It hurt terribly, the worst part was just kneeling there, having to deal with the pain. Of course I've experienced a fair share of pain in my day, but it's so much easier to take when your in the midst of a battle. Its not your main focus. With this it was my only focus, and not just mine, all eyes were silently watching me. The moment the seal was filled Erandur was beside me, casting a healing spell over me. The pain was instantly lifted.

My blood worked. The door opened, and the interior of one of the only remaining Akaviri temples was revealed to us. Esbern began blabbering in glee as he scanned the beautiful stonework surrounding the temple. He kept telling me to 'look at this' and 'do you see that!' I was beginning to get ready to slap him into some common sense when Delphine thankfully spoke up. She asked him what exactly we were actually looking for, and he finally came back to his senses. Our target turned out to be a huge, ornately carved stonewall depicting both Alduin's first coming, and his second. According to Esbern the wall showed that Alduin was defeated the first time by a shout. And that he would be defeated by the same shout again this time. That seemed strange to me that we should use this same shout again on him even though it obviously isn't a hundred percent effective since he came back...but it is our best bet, so I decided to pursue the matter.

I told them that I would go and speak to the Greybeards to see if they could teach me this shout. Erandur offered to accompany Esbern and Delphine back to Riverwood, but it seems both of them wish to stay at the temple. We agreed to leave them there as there was no changing their minds.

Upon arriving at High Hrothgar I was disappointed to learn that the Greybeards although knowing OF the shout, had no knowledge of what the actual words to it were. Arngier was very persistent that I should drop the matter, but in the end I convinced him to allow me to finally speak with their leader, Paarthurnax. He taught me a shout which helped me to ascend the treacherous mountain to its peak. And that is where I learned that the leader of the Greybeards is no man, but a mighty, ancient, dragon.

Although he is a dragon, Paarthurnax is perhaps one of the most level headed individuals involved in this dragon business so far. He was very reasonable, he spoke to me as an equal, even though he in an immortal beast. I find that already I have a great amount of respect for this mighty creature. He informed me much more about Alduin's original defeat, and how I might replicate it. He also answered my question regarding why I should use the same shout again that did not completely destroy Alduin the first time. Apparently the early Nords who used the shout on Alduin were not Dragon-born only versed in the Thu'um. They were not able to absorb a dragon's soul and end it for good. I can. If I can use this shout, Dragonrend, to bring Alduin down, and then slay him, I will absorb his soul permanently, thus ending his life forever. Hopefully.

Unfortunately Paarthurnax was also unaware of the words of the shout. Apparently it is a shout that dragons are not able to learn, since it was created by mortals, for the express reason of making dragons experience the feeling of mortality. In essence, when one learns a shout, they absorb all of the meanings and connotations which that shout carries with it, I understand this much very well. Therefore a dragon cannot learn the Dragonrend shout because they have no way to understand the concept of mortality.

Paarthurnax told me that in order to learn the Dragonrend shout needed to defeat Alduin I was going to have to travel back in time and learn in first hand from the early Nords. And the only way he could think of to do that was via an Elder Scroll. Needless to say I am a bit nervous about that idea. I've heard of the Elder Scrolls, they are incredibly powerful artifacts with the ability to change the past, the present and the future, some have described them as existing, 'outside of time'. I've also heard they cause blindness. Ha ha.

I will talk to Arngier in the morning, hopefully he knows or at least has an idea where I might be able to find one of these relics. For now I am focused on warming back up and clearing my head. Erandur is already fast asleep, I envy him.

Tirdas, 11:40 PM, 12th of Sun's Dusk

2013-02-13T00:10:00.002-06:00

Finally. Back at Riverwood. After I spend the night here (or what is left of it at any rate) I am headed to my home. I haven't seen Lucia in ages, and I miss her. I picked up a new dress for her from Belethor when I came into town, hopefully she'll like it.

The Thalmor. Yes, I hated them before. My repulsion for them has grown tenfold however in the last two days. After I met with the wood elf I went out to the stables to speak with Delphine. She had somehow managed to obtain an invitation for a formal party that the representative of the Thalmor in Skyrim, Elenwen, throws every once and awhile. She fitted me out in the gaudiest, most offensive, most uncomfortable outfit I have ever worn, wrapped a silky scarf around my head which draped just low enough to cover my eyes for an appearance of 'timid modesty' as she said, and pointed me in the direction of the carriage I can actually admit that I was a bit nervous. Cloak and dagger has never been something that I have dabbled in. I'm the woman who runs in, spells at the ready, and kills everything, and then brings it back to life and kills more things...I don't sneak around dressed up like a peacock. So yes, I was nervous I had the carriage driver drop Erandur off about half a mile away from the embassy. We had decided ahead of time that it would be best if he tried to scan the perimeter of the embassy for any alternative method of getting in. We were both positive that being the paranoid Altmer with too much time on their hands that they were, there must be a secret exit out of the building. Erandur was going to find it, get in, and help me get out once I had learned all I could.

Everything actually went amazingly smoothly. There were many faces which I recognized at the party, and most were either in my debt, or, in the case of Jarl Elisif the Fair, simply glad to see someone they recognized. There was one interesting character there whom I had never met, and yet have heard mentioned many times. Maven Black-Briar. I have heard she is a woman of much power. A woman who has her fingers in many different cauldrons. She knew at once that I did not belong at the party, and quietly told me so. However she mad no move to blow my cover. I sense that she has no love for the Thalmor and was only their because her position demanded she be there. I actually got that impression from many of the guests there. There were a few, like Erikur, that pompous windbag, who seemed to be enjoying themselves. But otherwise, I do believe most of them wish the Thalmor would perish in Oblivion.

I ran into Victoria Vicci, from the East Empire Company as well. She is greatly in my debt after I vanquished a small army of pirates who were robbing her shipments outside of Windhelm. On a whim I asked her if she would do me a favor and cause a small scene so that I could get away. She was more willing to help than I had anticipated. She hates the Thalmor quite a bit, and without even asking what my intentions were, began bitching loudly, catching everyone's attention. I made my move and left the room.

It was not as difficult as I had though, sneaking through the embassy. I found that I have a skill for stealth, in fact, I believe being blind renders me an even better sneak as I rely on my sense of hearing more than ever to guide me. Even the subtle vibrations in the floor boards of someone shifting positions several rooms down the hall is audible to me.

I finally made it to Elenwen's Solar. I found her office and took everything I could find which seemed may be of importance. It was difficult to tell what all I was grabbing, and I did find out later, when I showed my catch to Delphine that among the various important papers and manuscripts I had also taken a map of Solitude and a Children's Version of the Annuad.

After taking all I thought was of importance I headed to the basement. I had overheard a brief conversation upon entering the Solar about a certain prisoner whom was being questioned in the basement, and I figured he may be able to provide me with more information. Plus it seemed likely that a secret exit would also be found in the lowest level. My guess proved right on both accounts.

Upon entering the basement I found my path blocked by an unaware Thalmor Soldier. Summoning all my courage I did something which I have never attempted before because of the sheer implausibility of it. I crept up behind her and slit her throat. The stealth kill worked perfectly, the soldier uttered not a sound as her blood pooled up in a dark corner. I discovered it is not so hard. It was easy enough for me to judge her size, knowing what type of armor the Thalmor soldiers wear helped as well. The moment my hands grasped her I could feel every pumping artery in her body easily, and my knife found its mark instantly. I am glad I asked the Bosmer to smuggle me in a dagger, I almost decided against it. There was something very satisfying about slaying the Altmer with my own hands, feeling the life leave her body. This is a skill I will have to perfect. Perhaps I will clear out a bandit camp in this manner. That would be excellent practice with no real risk of failure.

There was one other Thalmor in the basement, the interrogator himself. He was seated at a desk, studying some paperwork of some variety. An easy stealth kill. I took his paperwork as well before approaching the prisoner. The man was already very near death, and willingly told me whatever I asked him. He did not know much. The Thalmor did not know anything about the dragons, that much I had already ascertained from a few conversations I had overheard, they did however at least seem to know someone who did know more. His name is Esbern, a former member of the Blades as well. According to the prisoner he is holed up somewhere in Riften, probably in the Ratways.

Just as I finished interrogating the prisoner two Thalmor Soldiers entered the room on the upper level. They had the Bosmer with them and were shouting down to me that they would kill him if I did not reveal myself. Well they asked for it.

I whispered the dragon words, 'dov mey gut' towards the stair way landing. As I had hoped one approached the noise, thinking that it was me walking upwards. Instead I summoned a chain of lightening which instantly disintegrated him and leapt to his startled companion. The elf tried to run, but I leapt after him, driving my dagger into his back.

The Bosmer was relieved, but wasted no time in grabbing a key off one of the Thalmor and running downstairs. He knew of the location of the trapdoor which I had suspected, unlocked it, and escorted both me and the Nord prisoner out. Erandur was waiting for us in the small cave below. He had killed the frost troll which the Thalmor apparently fed with the corpses of their prisoners.

Upon exiting the small cave we were ambushed by a blood dragon. Erandur and I told the Bosmer and Nord to run, they willingly did so, the two of us brought the dragon down quickly thereafter.

And that about sums up my adventures of the last two days. I'll probably spend the night at Lakeview Manor tomorrow night, and then head to Riften to find this mysterious Esbern who knows so much about dragons in the morning. I do hope that he knows something useful. The vampire attacks have been getting worse and worse and I fear that they are becoming almost as big a threat as the damned dragons. I arrived in Whiterun yesterday on my way to Riverwood only to discover that the smithy, the stewards daughter, had been found dead at her forge from a vampire bite. It seems the girl took her own life when she found she was infected. A very brave act and one that doubtless saved the citizens of Whiterun much trouble. It also means that they are without a functioning blacksmith however now.

I can only hope that Esbern can help me solve the conundrum of the returning dragons so that I can deal with this other crisis.

Loredas, 1:54 PM, 8th of Sun's Dusk

2013-02-12T16:31:00.001-06:00

Erandur and I just arrived in Riverwood this morning after many long days of clearing Nordic Crypts. The latest was Ragnvald, over to the West. This particular crypt was locked up tighter than many, and had a much more powerful Magicka about it. In order to open the gate to get to the word wall Erandur and I had to find two separate skulls, both guarded by their own undead champion, and then bring them back to the main room and place them in certain slots in a large sarcophagus. Of course we had both agreed ahead of time that more than likely once the skulls were placed in the Sarcophagus a terror even worse than the guardians was going to be released. And so we were ready when Otar rose from his resting place to wreak havoc.

He was a powerful dragon priest but between me kiting around with fireballs, keeping him staggered, and shouting in the dragon tongue when my Magicka ran low, and Erandur, charging in with his summoned minions dealing a large amount of physical damage, we slew him quickly.

Erandur mentioned on our way back to High Hrothgar that Delphine in Riverwood was still hoping that we would return to help her with her dragon problems. I suppose that I have learned much from the Greybeards already, and that it would be wrong of me not to help out when she seems to be counting on it so much. That is why we are here now. Delphine seems convinced that the Thalmor have something to do with the Dragons returning. I'm not so sure, I don't think the Thalmor could find their own assholes given a week and a mirror...but I have no high regard for them either. She has a contact, a Bosmer, who is going to meet me at the Winking Skeever in Solitude. I will set out in the morning, as it is a full days journey at least to get to Solitude from here, and I would like to avoid travelling that far North at night. Aranea and I used to make camp together out in the wilds, but Erandur and I have not done so yet. I believe that neither of us wishes to have to deal with the consequences that may have. For now it is best I stay focused on unlocking more knowledge of my powers, and he is here to guide me towards the path to redemption. Nothing more.

Morndas, 9:30 PM, 3rd of Sun's Dusk

2013-02-11T23:34:00.004-06:00

I have learned so much in such a small amount of time. The Greybeards are indeed a source of immense knowledge on dragons, their speech, and their powers. After I spent the night they spent a whole day instructing me in the way of the dov. They have already taught me many shouts, the meanings of the shouts, and how to properly use them. It's so strange to me to think that I, out of all the loyal Nords out there, I, a dark elf from Morrowind have the ability to shout in the dragon tongue. They say strange things come from the land of the red mountain. I guess they speak the truth.

As a final initiation test the Greybeards sent me to retrieve the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller, their founder. It was located inside a majestic old ruin. Or it was supposed to be. As I soon found out however, someone had beat me to it. In it's place was a scrawled note which Erandur made out to say that a certain person had taken the horn and that if I wanted it back I was to go to the inn in Riverwood and ask for the 'attic room'.

I did so, since I could not go back to the Greybeards empty handed. It turned out that it was the innkeeper herself, Delphine who was my mystery horn snatcher. She is a member of the blades and is also looking for a cause as to why the dragons are coming back. She asked for my assistance in finding out more information. I did what I could for her, but after she gave me the horn, I left. The Greybeards were pleased with my success and welcomed me officially as dragon-born in a bone jarring ceremony that I will never forget. They all spoke to my in the tongue of dragons. It was an experience that will remain with me forever. It was beautiful, yet archaic. Powerful, yet subtle. I feel honored to have been bestowed with their acceptance.

After the ceremony they marked several locations on my map that I must travel to to learn more about the dragon speech. I have been to two of them thus far. These dragons are much more powerful than the random ones I'd been encountering in the wilderness. The seem older, and more intelligent.

Tonight I am at a gloomy inn somewhere near Kynnsgrove. Tomorrow I set out to discover more about these dragons.

Turdas, 12:37 PM, 30th of Frostfall

2013-02-10T17:47:00.003-06:00

My loyal Aranea...how could I have done that to you! Still I am plagued with guilt.

My loyal little warrior wished me luck before I set off on my trek to High Hrothgar. I truly hope that I can see her again, but if not, I left all the gold I possess in a chest in our bedroom. Erandur is accompanying me, I hope that we can find what we are looking for here, in the fortress of the Greybeards I have not spoken to any of them save the one who let me in, fed me, and gave me this stone bed for the night, he says we will speak in the morning.

Tirdas, 11:40 pm, 28th of Frostfall

2013-02-08T22:22:00.000-06:00

I'm out on the roof of Dragonsreach right now. It's so quiet and peaceful, and Erandur tells me that the sky is beautiful to behold. There have been many things which have changed in my life in the last few days. Not the least of which me realizing that I am a murderous coward who is torn between the life she left and the life she wishes to someday have.

I have killed Aranea. It was the will of Boethia, and though I told myself that I would never consider such an act, I somehow found myself led to the shrine enticed to snare her to the pillar. I then watched in horror as my own hands, by no will of my own, grasped her fair throat and strangled the life from her body. I was horrified. But only for a moment. Then the numbness set in. I was not surprised at all when her corpse reanimated, when the voice of the Daedric goddess spoke through Aranea's hollow body. I listened and obeyed passively when Boethia ordered me to slay all who followed her, and surrounded her shrine. I felt no more remorse, no flicker of shame as one after another loyal followers of the vile Daedric lord fell beneath my fiery spells.

Boethia spoke to me again after this carnage has passed, she instructed me to go to a certain mine and kill another follower of hers who resided there. In retrospect, it was almost as if I was under some sort of charm spell, for without hesitation, I set out upon my journey. As the miles between me, and the shrine of Boethia increased, so did the sway she had over my decisions. I reached a point finally that I will never forget. I stopped by a little river and knelt down. I said a prayer to Mara. Me, the Dunmer who grew up worshiping Azura, being told the divines were worthless...and dabbling in necromancy I prayed to Mara. I asked her for forgiveness for what I had done, and what I was about to do. It was as if she heard my prayer, for my head was cleared of all Daedric influences, it was me, and me alone who charged into the mine, wiped out every soul, retrieved the Ebony mail, and became champion of Boethia. But I am done with the Daedric lords. For now at least. Until I am stronger in spirit, and can more easily fight off their powers. For now I believe I must avoid them or risk becoming another of their mindless followers. They feed off of raw power, and I am not hesitant to say that I am a very powerful dunmer. I'm sure any one of them would love to have my body and strengths to move around like a puppet on display. But that will never happen, I will see to it!

As for why I am in Dragonsreach with the Priest of Mara, Erandur. Well, after I murdered Aranea, retrieved the ebony mail, and returned to Boethia I was still plagued with guilt. Since I was, and still am, positive that Mara is the one who cleared my mind of Boethia's presence I thought perhaps she could also help me with my guilt. I could think of no better man to talk to about this problem than Erandur, seeing as he was stricken with guilt as well for different reasons. So I traveled to Dawnstar and located him. He was immediately sympathetic, but similarly unhelpful. He told me that Mara would help me deal with the guilt, but she would not take it away. To sum up, he told me I may have to deal with these memories for the rest of my life.

I do not welcome that thought, but then again, this is real life, I suppose I should learn to cope with it. That is the main reason that Erandur is accompanying me now. The man that I once wrote in this book I was considering offering to Boethia, is now by my side, helping me to come to terms with the fact that I murdered the only woman whom I have been near to calling a friend. We spent so many days together, fought so many bandits, thieves, trolls, and draugr. She deserved so much better than that. But I must move on.

Erandur has told me that I should focus all of my effort on studying my powers. I explained to him about my ability to shout in the Nordic tongue, and he strongly recommends that we go to High Hrothgar and learn what we can from the Grey Beards. That is why we have traveled to Whiterun, to get some supplies before setting off up the mountain. He is helping me. But at the same time, this man has some dark secrets as well. Perhaps that is why he is able to understand my pain so well.

Thursday, 19:18, 7th of Febraury

2013-02-07T19:25:00.000-06:00

Well, Dragonborn is out.

Haven't played it yet, but am hopeful that it will be epic. The fact that I get to go to Solthsiem, an island from one of the most epicest games I ever played, Morrowind, makes me even more excited. And with that said, I've been doing some thinking...is it time Ravenna was laid to rest and another champion took her place? Perhaps I'm only saying that because I'm sad that I haven't been able to get my hearthfire child to follow me like I want it too...and it's frustrating the hell out of me.

But I'm not sure if I'm ready to abandon Ravenna yet. I just want so bad to be able to have Lucia be a follower and wear armor and such. The worst part is I know it's possible, I even almost kind of have it working...it just requires upwards of 15 separate mods to make it happen...which makes me sad becuase after the oblivion crisis I've been trying to keep the mods to a minimum. Plus the follower ai is glitched for children it seems...and it scares the crap out of me to suddenly have her running around naked. Not something I need to see on a Thursday night...

So maybe I will just uninstall the mods and pick up where I left off...idk. It's either that or Andre the Alikr warrior will take over...

Turdas, 11:28 PM, 23rd of Frostfall

2013-02-06T20:55:00.000-06:00

Brought Lucia to Riverwood. It was late when we got here, so I wasn't able to show her around much. Mostely just to her bed where she crashed almost immediatly. Hopefully she enjoys it and is able to find fun things to do.

My steward informed me that she had caught some bandits snooping about yesterday. I will have to investigate. I don't need any problems like that.

Lucia found a dog on our way here. Meeko she's calling him. Aranea hates it.

11:59 PM, 22nd of Frostfall

2013-02-05T20:23:00.002-06:00

Went back to Whiterun finally yesterday and spent the night at Breezehome. Lucia was overjoyed to see me, in fact she continuously supplied me with fresh picked flowers for my entire stay there. It was a bit unnecessary but perhaps I can use them for alchemy? She was obviously not thrilled when I told her that we will be relocating, but she didn't argue much. The child seems used to the road. Perhaps someday I will take her on one of my journeys. If she sticks around that long...

Ysolda, in Whiterun asked me if I stumbled across any mammoth tusks in my adventuring, if I wouldn't mind bringing her one. As I wanted to head to Lakeview manor anyways, I decided to take the straightforward method of obtaining a tusk and attacked a mammoth I was worried for a moment during the fight, as I could have sworn I sensed the presence of a dragon near by but Aranea calmed my fears. I must be getting paranoid.

Lakeview manor is complete. I will go to get Lucia in the morning. All that I may do now is add some shrines in the basement, and perhaps mount a few more trophies. Not that anyone will ever see them, but why not?

Morndas, 5:34 PM, 20th of Frostfall

2013-02-05T00:27:00.003-06:00

Got delayed unexpectedly after slaying the giant at Cradle-crush Which by the way had claimed the life of another alchemist in the mean time. He was also a fellow dark elf, I wonder if he was from Windhelm? While returning to the city to speak to the inn-keep and inform him of the giants death, I was stopped by an Argonian dock worker. For some reason he thought that complaining to me about how he wasn't payed enough would make me do something miraculous and he'd have more gold...

Needless to say that didn't happen, but the interruption was long enough that a certain fellow who was one of the higher ups in the east empire shipping company was able to accost me as well. It seems that the members of the east empire company from Solitude who witnessed my retrieval of the verse of Olaf the one eyed sent word to its branch in Windhelm. Basically they wanted my help to fight off some pirates who, at the command of certain unscrupulous Nords in this city, were attacking their ships and stealing or sinking their purchases. I was hesitant to help until the mentioned that Haldyn, a powerful fire mage, was part of their party. Then I was practically begging to be part of the trip. I'd heard of Haldyn, folk here in Skyrim spoke of him as an all powerful mage who wielded fire like it was another limb. I am always eager to test my skill, and what better opponent than a mage who is much more feared than I am?

Well, the battle was short, and I stand unimpressed. I must admit, I did use my talent at stealth to land the first blow, thus staggering him and getting in another free shot as well. So perhaps I tilted the tables in my favor from the beginning. But what wise mage wouldn't do so given the opportunity?

I was handsomely rewarded for my time by the Company, which I gratefully received. On my way back south, I passed through Dawnstar. After a harrowing dragon attack had passed, and I was able to catch my breath, I began to feel that their was a strong Daedric presence in the town, and I was not much surprised when I was approached by a priest of Mara. He had just heard of my success in disbanding the Blood Horkers, and was practically begging me to assist him in ridding Dawnstar of the Curse of Vaermina. I know very little of Vaermina, save she is associated with sludge and decay and nightmares I now also know that she is a vicious liar who will do anything to see the naive fall.

I agreed to helping the priest. The temple, Nightcaller temple as it was called, was full of a strange gas, known as Miasma, which had put all of its occupants underneath a strong spell of sleep. When we unsealed the door however, they began to wake up. It was mostly occupied with followers of Vaermina, with a few remaining Orcs who had apparently tried to raid the temple, only to fall victim to the Miasma as well. We dispatched of them easily, as they were confused and, although very hostile, lacked much motor control at all.

We finally came to a point in the temple where their was a powerful magical barrier blocking any progression. The priest of Mara then revealed to me that he was the only priest of Vaermina to have survived the attack without falling under the spell of the Miasma. Somehow he managed to flee the temple. He also stated that he was wracked with guilt afterwards which is why he become a priest of Mara. Interesting. However, his prior knowledge of Vaermina's temple did come in handy, as he knew of a certain torpor which could induce some sort of waking dream-like state on an individual.

Of course he volunteered me to do it. I'm still not exactly sure what it was that I drank, or what the images and words that I saw were. But it was certainly a dream, for in it I could see everything as if my eyes had never been touched by the flames. Somehow I managed to navigate the dream world well enough that I was able to dissipate the magical barrier. After I did so, I awoke. I had an awful headache, my eyes were on fire, and my throat felt like sandpaper. All side effects of the torpor, according to Mara's representative.

Finally we reached our goal, the source of Dawnstars' nightmares. The skull of corruption. I am torn between the choice I made at this point. The skull is, of course, being a Daedric artifact, incredibly powerful. However, it is also incredibly evil and, since it is an artifact of Vaermina, uncontrollable I allowed the priest to finish his ritual and destroy the skull, or at least banish it. It was a battle though for me, it didn't help that Vaermina was whispering into my head the whole time, commanding me to slay the priest and claim the skull.

After that little event, the priest of Mara pledged himself to me, saying that if I ever need his assistance, he will be at the temple, waiting for me. The evil side of me remembers the challenge the followers of Boethia presented me with. But the sensible side of me screams, 'anyone but a priest of a divine!'

Spending the night in my corner of flour sacks again in Windhelm. Hopefully I'll be able to leave tomorrow, they are having problems with murders around here, but I looked into it a little, and it seems that they are only affecting Nord women, and as the Nord women around here are almost without fault complete bitches, I find it does not affect me at all.

I visited the castle after I got back from Dawnstar today. Just listening to Ulfric and his advisers talk is enough to make one sick. It's as if the only lives he considers sacred are those of the Nords who side with him. It's enough to make me want to join the Empire just so I can have an army to back me when crush his neck beneath my boot. His castle mage, Wuunfurth also seems a sketchy type. He claims to be a master of Destruction, and then in the same sentence told me he could never train me anything as my skill was so great. I'm not sure about him, he has an aura of undeath about him. One that is ever so familiar to me.

Loredas, 1:06 PM 18th of Frostfall

2013-02-02T22:27:00.003-06:00

Still have not been back to Whiterun Lucia is probably going to start wondering if I died out here. Almost. A few times. But none noteworthy. My biggest battle was by far the troll ambush I encountered on my way up to Windhelm. I'm staying at the New Gnisis Corner club tonight. It typically does not offer a place to sleep, but there is a definite hostility towards my kind here in Windhelm, so I asked if I could stay here, my bed is two burlap sack full of flour, but it's better than a knife in the back, which I am afraid may have welcomed me at the Candlelight Inn. Such an inviting name for a group of such hostile people.

The reason I am in this area of Skyrim is simple. On my way back from the Dwemer forge, I was examining my map, marking it with the location of the forge and such. It was while perusing my cryptic notes scattered across the worn parchment that I realized a fragment of the Gaulder amulet rested nearby, withing half a mile of where I stood as a matter of fact. It was in another Draugr crypt of course, Geirmunds rest I believe it was called. The crypt itself was not as expensive as the first, but it's guardian was much more powerful. He had the capability of casting a teleport spell on himself, and cloning at the same time. Making it almost impossible for me to tell which image to fire at, typically in a situation like this I would have been able to sense the clones from the real enemy because the clones have no life in them, where as the enemy does, however, in this case all were lifeless since the guardian was a draugr. Finally, Aranea, the priestess of Azura had an idea, she grabbed an old Nordic bow from a dusty draugr corpse and began to fire arrows at the draugr. The arrows stuck in the real image, but phased through the clones. Once she had some arrows sticking out of the true guardian she was able to guide our shots of fire to the correct enemy by yelling to me 'left', 'right', or 'mid'. It was a tedious battle, as the draugr was also capable of shouting in the Nordic tongue, but we came out victorious in the end.

I retrieved the second amulet fragment, once again on fire to find them all and unlock Gaulder's power. For that reason Aranea and I traveled from Geirmunds, directly to Saarthal, only stopping to spend the night in an abandoned watchtower.

We were met with disappointment at Saarthal however. The ruins were sealed shut tight, it looks as if an excavation is either taking place there, or about to. I considered going to Winterhold to see if the Jarl new anything about it, but I would assume that it has something to do with the mage's college, since there was a large chest on the sight, stocked with textbooks and works on ancient Nordic history. For this reason I held off on going to Winterhold. The Jarl has no love for the mages I have learned, and I don't believe I am ready to try and barter with them either. All I want is access to the ruins. i suppose I will have to travel there eventually if I am ever to recover the last fragment, but it can wait for a week or so.

On my way to Windhelm I discovered the cult of Boethiah's hiding place. They seem to think that I wish to join their ranks. I do not. However I have discovered that being a champion of a Daedra is never without it's perks. In order to start the initiation process I was instructed to bring a willing victim to the shrine and slay them. A task which is easier said than done as most people would never willingly follow me. However I will keep it in mind, and if the opportunity presents itself, I will take it. Aranea, of course, is repulsed by the idea as she sees all Daedra as nothing, except Azura, who is everything. I have to agree with her that Azura is the only Daedra whom I view as truly powerful. She holds the moon in one hand, the sun in the other, and the stars surround her head. It is a beautiful, ethereal power. However, the other Daedra are not without their own unique abilities, and the more I can glean from their power, the more power I can possess. Nothing wrong with that.

I was asked by the barkeep if I could do him a favor and kill the giant at cradlecrush rock, apparently this giant is stalking the land where the barkeep likes to pick herbs for his alchemy. Being not only a fellow alchemist, but also slightly in his debt I agreed. So I will have to do that tomorrow, before heading out of here, I also believe that I will go up to the palace. I wish to see this Ulfric, speak with him, see what drives him. So far he is not making many friends among my people, and although I am a banished refugee, an enemy of the Dunmer is still an enemy of Ravenna. I am beginning to think that the sooner the Stormcloak rebels are disposed of the sooner that Skyrim can go back to it's natural state. Of course there are also the Thalmor and the Forsworn whom I view as twin blights of equal repulsiveness which must be eradicated as well. But without the rebels constantly attacking and starting petty squabbles, and neglecting the common good, disposing of the others will be much easier.

Turdas, 4:03 PM, 16th of Frostfall

2013-01-31T22:36:00.000-06:00

Finally, after all the searching, fighting, and frustration, I have found the Aetherium Forge! I must honest as well...I did not go to Whiterun as I had said I was going to. My drive to find this ancient Dwemer mechanism was too strong. But it payed off in the end, for I hold in my hands an a circlet made of no ordinary materials. It is a crown of pure Aetherium The blessing it grants is also an incredibly powerful one. It alows one to have two different blessings from the standing stones scattered across Skyrim at once! This is truly something of mighty power. I may wear it for awhile, just because I worked so hard to find it, but I know I will soon put it on display in my manor. A relic like this could get lost again much too easily.

On my way to find the forge I rested for the night in an abandoned cave near a waterfall. I encountered an Argonian archer in the cave who had lost his way. I told him if he accompanied me through the remainder of my journey I would reward him admirably and guide him to whichever hold he pleased. I truly meant it as well. The fact that he did not survive the fight with the Forgemaster who guarded the Aetherium forge had nothing to do with me.

I wish that there was a way to forge more Aetherium but I know of no man who is capable of doing so. Perhaps I will leave it to those with more knowledge in the art of arcane smithing than I, I have other, more pressing matters to attend to. Such as returning to the child who calls me mother. Still, that title jars me.

Tirdas, 7:56 PM, 14th of Frostfall

2013-01-30T21:12:00.004-06:00

I have been working on finalizing decorations and furniture arrangements for my manor for the last few days. Very tedious work, but I do not want to move out to this place until I am certain that it will be safe. I hired a carriage driver to take Lucia to Falkreath or Riverwood when she wishes to visit and perhaps make new friends. I told him she is not to go to Whiterun however unless I am accompanying them. That is too long of a journey for her to make alone, and although I have faith in the skill of my unpronounceabley named steward, I am still not comfortable with it. Their have been an increasing number of vampire attacks lately something which makes me very uncomfortable. Even though I have cleared out all of the forts and ruins within a ten mile radius of the area, I will still probably check them at least once a month, just to make sure. I had some very high quality orchalchum locks installed on all of the doors, including the balcony, and the windows are all laced with iron fittings, making them virtually impossible to break through, yet I would assume they don't offer much of a view either. That wasn't my top concern.

All in all, it's pretty much done. I am going to Whiterun tomorrow to pick up Lucia and bring her here, I will also probably purchase a few final building supplies. It's so nice to have somewhere to put certain things that I'm just not ready to part with.

For example those Aetherium shards. I found the third a few days ago, it was deep in an old Dwemer Market. On my way out of the market, or I should say, down the mountain that the large underground elevator brought me to, I encountered a dragon priest This is the third one that I have encountered in my traversing of Skyrim, I must say however, this was also the weakest one, or perhaps I am getting stronger. He had a mask inscribed with the name, Volsung on it. he guarded a very powerful word wall that taught me three words of a Nordic shout. I do not understand it though, it's as if I know the words, but lack the strength to use them. I believe that when I absorb souls of dragon I gain more power to use these shouts.

Perhaps what made the battle with the dragon priest easier was the fact that for the last week or so I have had the assistance of a powerful Dunmer mage. I encountered her at the Shrine of Azura, after I helped recover Azura's Black Star. I had long been wanting to visit this Shrine, but had not been in the Winterhold area yet, about a week ago I had to run up there to deliver a bounty, it was the perfect excuse. Azura recognized me and asked for my help in clearing her soul gem of the black soul of a necromancer who had bound himself to it. I did, recovering his powerful armor as well. This armor I bequeathed upon the priestess of Azura, who responded to my gift by telling me that Azura had given her a vision telling her that she was no longer bound to the shrine, and was free to accompany me in my travels. I accepted her offer, it's nice to have a fellow Dunmer in these parts where we are so rare, and looked upon with scorn for the most part. She is very quiet, a fact that I appreciate, she is also a very powerful mage, although i hate to admit it, I believe I may have finally met a superior. I would hate to meet this woman in battle, she is capable of tossing a bolt of lightning that can knock a dragon from the sky. That is no mere training, it is obviously Azura's blessing she carries with her. I am honored to have her as a companion. We certainly turn heads when we enter a town.

I am going to set out to uncover the last shard of the Aetherium key after I get Lucia settled in here. I believe it is somewhere in the south east area of Skyrim, towards Riften. I have never been to Riften but I here it isn't the most prosperous town, I doubt I'll stop there, unless the weather is horrible.