Mrs. Pocketbook

Melted Butter Vs Room Temperature/Softened Butter - Banana Muffins

2018-08-15T08:36:00.001+08:00

Muffins baked with softened butter (left) is only slightly puffier than muffins baked with melted butter (right)

Since I began my baking journey, I've always wanted to really find out what is the difference between using melted butter versus softened butter in baking recipes. I didn't want to take a hearsay as an answer. So, today is the day that I am finally set to ascertain this - using my reliable banana muffin recipe. Hope this may be helpful in your baking adventures. Enjoy!

Melted butter = microwaved butter for 20 seconds until it becomes liquid.
Softened butter = put butter at the kitchen counter, at room temperature (about 27०c) until it becomes soft.

👉 As in the above picture, softened butter yields muffins that are slightly more puffy or taller/rounder at the top.

👉 Muffins baked with melted butter taste sweeter and has more moisture.

👉 In contrast, muffins baked with softened butter taste less sweet and is drier.

👉 Melted butter muffins have that melt-in-your-mouth texture compared to softened butter muffins which have more bite, like al dente.

👉 Lastly, melted butter muffins is softer and more pillowy compared to softened butter muffins which is more spongy, like a firm mattress.

A quick look at the recipe:
Banana Muffins
150g mashed banana
80g self-raising flour
1 egg
20g sugar (more if you like)
50g butter (melted OR softened)
3 Tbsp milk

Directions: Mix everything together, do not overmix. Pour into muffin cups and bake at 170०c for 25 minutes. Cool and enjoy.

The End...

Differences Between My First And Second Pregnancy

2018-07-05T09:30:00.000+08:00

Dear all, I did this post purely for comparison between my first and second pregnancy. This is also like a short summary of my two pregnancies, which are actually 6 years apart (in 2010 and 2016). My second pregnancy experience is slightly smoother than the first one. But other mothers may have it the other way. Indeed, all pregnancies are unique.

Side note: Compared to my first pregnancy, my second pregnancy was tougher in the initial months but giving birth was easier.

First Pregnancy

Prelude

My hubby and I tried to conceive for 6 months to no avail. 😐 I was in my 20s (28 years old) and both hubby and I were working full-time. Finally, after 6 months of disappointment, we've got a bun in the oven! Felt so thankful for that.

I began my maternity leave during week 37 and gave birth that very week, just hours after we've set up the baby cot. Talk about timely arrival! 😃 Because I worked full time, I have literally no time to indulge in feeling, counting, or monitoring baby kicks or Braxton hicks contraction. Neither was there time to relax or 'enjoy' my pregnancy. Everything was in a rush. It's work, work and work. I almost always helplessly fell asleep at the gynae's clinic. And even during my confinement period after giving birth, I was constantly checking emails, taking phone calls, replying sms, and even made a few trips back to the workplace to clear up some work clog.

Before pregnancy, I was 50kg, and then gained about 18kg during pregnancy, with the weighing scale tipping slightly more than 68kg - the heaviest in my entire life. Then I lost 10kg immediately after giving birth, reducing to about 58kg. I had water retention while I was 6 to 7 months pregnant which continued months after delivery. I guess, that adds on significantly to my total weight gain.

Pregnancy Symptoms

My first pregnancy was an uncomfortable experience. I had horrible constipation and haemorrhoids (piles) and was on laxatives every week. Once I didn't go for 21 days and felt like my tummy's about to explode with all the food eaten over 3 weeks! I felt like vomiting all the time but nothing comes out. I had frequent bleeding gums, carpal tunnel syndrome (painful, weak wrist), spider veins forming on my thighs, gestational diabetes and fainted twice while I was outdoors.

I also had terrible heartburn which literally feels like fire burning my heart and something strangling at my neck and I can't breathe properly every minute starting from the 4th month of pregnancy, and I needed to sleep on 3 pillows (slept almost sitting up!) to feel and breathe better and my feet swelled up from the 7th month onwards. I did not watch my diet and eat anything available but I exercised a lot (walked and hiked at the park every other day or two). One of the only few good things about the first pregnancy was having a crown of shiny thick hair, and another was having glowy skin.

D-day
Waters broke on its own on week 37 one night after dinner. Rushed to the hospital at almost 12 midnight. Contractions began soon and became more intense and more frequent as hours passed by - till dawn finally breaks. Took epidural 2 hours before birth, upon constant, almost vehement, persuasion. Pain subsided and we waited uneventfully, falling in and out of sleep while nurses walks in and out of the room checking on my dilation frequently. Then, I was finally told to push although I can't feel my lower body. I just 'pushed' really hard. After sometime, baby is out, on week 37+1 day. Had the episiotomy stitched back. Total 14 hours labour, from midnight to afternoon. My boy weighs 2.52kg, is 52cm in height and has 32cm head circumference.

Postpartum Issues
The uterine contractions (that is supposed to shrink the uterus back to its original size before pregnancy) were really painful when the epidural effects wore off - especially while I was breastfeeding. I took a lot of painkillers. I had heavy bleeding(lochia) for more than a week before it tapers off and stops completely in week 3 to 4. Right after birth, I had shivers and I vomited - the after effects of epidural that no one told me about. And I felt weak and tired like I'm being hit by a truck. I was heaty and sweaty all the time. For breastfeeding, baby had no problems latching on and it wasn't painful, even when he teethed at 2 months old. Milk supply came in abundantly after day 3. Weirdly, I cannot pump and store milk. It just won't let down with a pump - milk comes on only when baby is latched on, but not when I use the pump. Baby had high level of jaundice and needed phototherapy for 2-3 days.

I also had a prolapsed bladder after giving birth. My bladder hanged out of my below and I diligently did Kegel exercise for weeks before it went back up. Finally, I had back pain right at the spot where epidural was administered - for one entire year. So, that was 2-3 hours of pain relief (epidural) during childbirth in exchange for one year of back pain and weakness. Definitely not a good deal. The thing is, I was vehemently 'persuaded' into taking epidural by the doctor and nurse while it was already nearing the end of the labour and I was in confusion and great pain. Doctor said it was because of incoordinate uterine contractions.

Mother-in-law came to help during my confinement period. She cooked meals for everyone and I hired massage lady for a 5 day postnatal massage.

PS: Later, I came to know, I was told to take epidural because of incoordinate uterine contractions which may prolong childbirth and thus cause maternal and fetal distress and whole lot of other dangers. Taking epidural is one of the ways to regulate uterine contractions.

Second Pregnancy
Prelude

For my second pregnancy, I was in my 30s (34 years old), and we conceived after trying for a month. Lucky! This time round, I was a stay home mom with a 6 year old (my firstborn) to attend to. Although I did not exercise but I was actively doing all the housework and running family and personal errands up till the day I give birth. I also watched my diet and ate healthily. But I skipped taking pregnancy vitamins and supplements as they cause very bad constipation.

I was about 53kg before my second pregnancy and gained about 10kg during pregnancy, with the scale tipping slightly over 63kg. But I only lost 5kg immediately after giving birth, reducing to about 58kg. While I was breastfeeding, I ate alot and had water retention and gained 1-2kg of weight. After 5 months, I was back to 53kg. I would say I lost all the weight due to taking care of baby, doing housework and running errands.

Pregnancy Symptoms

Nausea kicks in very early from week 5 up to week 25, and heartburn begins after nausea ends. I was constantly peeing (every 15mins to 2 hour), had insomnia and had bodily heat and chills - my body heats up and sweats at one moment and then shivers in cold (till I get goosebumps) the next moment. It was unbearable. Plus, I was coughing for the first 3 to 4 months of my pregnancy due to atopy (allergic). That was quite unbearable too.

I also had facial acne, hair loss, had all sorts of dreams (good, bad, weird, or meaningless ones), and had water retention only after sitting at the desk for hours. I had 3 episodes of diarrhea instead of constipation. (Hurray! I'm not complaining. At least things move!). And I skipped all supplements and vitamins as I was eating very healthily and for the fear of triggering constipation. I also ate lots of pineapple and guava in the 2nd and 3rd trimester.

D-day

I was 2cm dilated at week 37. Then I was 2.5cm dilated at week 38 appointment at 9.30am at the hospital and requested to give birth that very day. Doctor gave the green light! Had Pitocin administered into my body to induce labour and also antibiotics because I had group B strep (GBS). This time I insist on not getting the epidural, but as the contraction pain became so intense I caved in and took the laughing gas (nitrous oxide) which reduced the pain by about 30 percent, in my opinion. Which is godsent.

Total of 8 hours labour, from morning to evening, normal virginal delivery with no epidural. Used laughing gas. After hours of contraction, I felt baby coming out. It was like a hard rock and the whole experience really felt like I was pooping the biggest poop in the world (sorry, but true! I don't even really have to push it out, it was involuntary). After some intense pain, which I thought I was going to die or pass out from, the baby is out. After a few moments, I felt the placenta coming out. Baby is 2.64 kg, 51cm height, 33cm head circumference. Perineal tear is stitched up.

Postpartum Issues

Baby is constantly spitting out milk and having dark and sticky greenish poo for first few days. Doctor says it’s normal. I had hemorrhoids (piles), lumps in armpit (extension of breast lumps), painful and engorged breast with sore, bruised nipples, and more spider veins forming around both my thighs. Milk supply came in on day 4. Total of 2-3 days of heavy lochia bleeding before it slows to a stop in week 4 after giving birth. So much thick menstrual pads unused. Stitched area below is swollen, sore and numb. On the third week, had carpal tunnel syndrome (painful and weak right wrist and hand). Had bodily fluid retention and was bloated. Even put on weight during confinement as I was eating a lot due to hunger after breastfeeding.

Feel normal just after giving birth. Don’t feel weak, tired and sweaty at all. No obvious uterine contractions at all. Didn’t take painkillers at all. Baby latching no good. Baby's mouth too small or doesn’t open wide enough for a good latch. But I persisted, rejecting all encouragement to formula feed. Thankfully, I can pump and store milk this time round. Meaning, if I am super tired and needed a rest, I can just pump milk so that someone else can feed him later while I rest. 40-100ml each time for both breasts. Not a lot, but still enough.

Hubby is the confinement daddy this time. He also helped with cleaning and cooking for me. I only drink red date tea and bathed with herbal confinement bath on the second day, the day I was discharged from hospital. Ordered confinement tingkat and had Jamu massage this time round again which helped a lot in milk production but only wrap tummy tightly for 3 days, 8 hours each before I gave up because I was so sweaty and it was really uncomfortable. It worsens my bladder prolapse (collapse) and I couldn’t really breathe freely. I was told that in order to have a flat tummy, I must wrap for a month! I decided to let go though. Due to the kegel exercises I did diligently, bladder went back up. But I have to deal with incontinence for about 5 months. I wet myself easily. Now I am ok, thankfully.

The End

The Best Thing That You Can Do To Yourself

2018-05-03T14:00:00.000+08:00

1. Learn how to reject others without feeling guilty at all. Say NO gracefully.

2. Do not hold on to grudges. They'll only give you more stress, physically and mentally. Set it aside and wait quietly for things to change instead. Nothing lasts forever.

3. Find a focal point of your life. The centre of interest of your life where everything stems from here. Something that makes you really happy. My main focal point is my family after I became a housewife. I do all sorts of things to make my family happy. It makes me happy in return.

4. Find a healthy hobby (or a few) that you can engage in and focus on during your free time. It makes you forget about all your worries and physical pain. Embroidery, photography, painting, jogging, swimming, cooking, baking, blogging, model making, scrapbooking, dancing - whichever makes you feel good.

5. Care less about those bad people who don't matter.

6. Come up with strategies to protect yourself from harm.

7. Let go of toxic friends.

8. Forgive your enemies. Perhaps they're feeling sorry and guilty about what they did to you. Perhaps they didn't really mean to do the bad things to you, or they are just ignorant at that time. Forgiving them may be the best thing you can do to yourself.

9. Last, but not least...
Laugh out heartedly.
Love bravely.
Smile lovingly.
Hug warmly.
Kiss blissfully.
Send someone a sweet message.
Say something to someone nicely.
Do everything peacefully.

Is Cooker Hood Really Necessary? Which Hood Is The Best?

2018-04-10T10:30:00.000+08:00

During my renovation, I thought hard about whether I should really install a cooker hood. After all, I've been cooking without a hood in my old house for the past 10 years. Anyway, I finally went ahead to install one and here's my verdict.

Question:
Is it necessary to install a cooker hood? Does it really remove smell and grease and keep your home smelling clean and fresh?

Answer:
Yes, it is necessary to install a cooker hood as it really does remove most smoke, smell and oily grease. In my opinion, between 70% to 80% of smoke and grease is removed, which keeps my house stay smelling fresh and clean. Most of the time, there's no need to mop the floor after I cook. I don't do deep fry though. Just some light frying. But the downside is that for maximum efficiency, I need to close all doors so that the kitchen is completely enclosed and it can be quite suffocating with the smoke, steam (sauna!) and the noise emitted by the cooker hood (which can be rather deafening).

Question:
Which cooker hood is the best?

Answer:
It depends on the type of house and the users' preferences.

1. Extraction Type (Ducted/Recirculated): Can the grease and smoke be extracted outside of your home through ducting shafts, or be filtered and recirculated back into the kitchen? Some cooker hoods are convertible between ducted and recirculating mode. Usually, if you live in high rise apartments, you can only install the recirculated extraction hood. For stand-alone houses, you can choose both ducted and recirculated hoods.

2. Extraction Rate (m³/h): Simply multiply the volume of your kitchen (LxWxH) in metres by 10 and you'll get the extraction rate (aka air flow, air exchange rate) needed for your kitchen. Usually the rating ranges from 200 to more than 1000 m³/h. But for me, I'll just go for those higher than 700 m³/h at least. More than 1000m³/h if I ever have an open-concept kitchen.

3. Size and Installation: Usually the length of cooker hood comes in 60 or 90cm. It should cover the length of your cooking stove/hob. If the length of your hood and hob differs, centralise the hood above the hob. Also, the minimum height distance between the hood and hob is usually 65cm for gas hob and 55cm for induction hob.

4. Types of Hood: They can be mounted on the ceiling (island style), on the wall (chimney, canopy, conventional, etc.), under the top cabinets (slimline, telescopic/retractable, etc.) or even concealed below your kitchen countertop when not in use (downdraft, countertop extractors). The choice depends on your needs and wants. Consider the extraction type and rate, size of hood and installation type (ceiling/wall/under-cabinet), your kitchen design and theme, your budget, space constraints (need more storage space?), maintenances needed (frequency of cleaning and changing filters), types of material (glass/stainless steel), etc.

5. Lighting: Finally, most cooker hoods come with lightings (usually LED or halogen bulbs) so that you can have a clearer cooking view. LED lightings are more energy efficient, last longer and emit less heat than halogen bulbs, making cooking a more pleasant (cooler) experience. Also, LED bulbs emit a cooler, whiter light as compared to halogen bulbs which emit yellowish light which I don't like. Whiter lighting makes me see much better.

Conclusion:
If I can freely choose a cooker hood again without any space and budget constraints, I'll install a slimline hood (simple design looks neater) with the highest extraction rate (more than 1000 m³/h), the quietest (less than 50 db), the one with LED (white) lightings and finally, with no transparent glass material (glass is fragile and difficult to keep clean, coloured glass is okay).

By the way, this is the online specification screenshot of the model I installed.

My New Home In 2018

2018-03-23T14:01:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you my long awaited... New home!

After an almost 5 year wait since 2013, I've finally moved in to my dream home. This is my ultimate utopia. My happiest place in the world. 😊

After so many obstacles, we've finally received the keys to our home. We chose the bank instead of HDB for our home loan. There was so much administrative work that we have to deal with. We were literally running all over, attending appointments, dispatching documents, making phone calls and sending emails. Then, came the renovations with its inevitable hiccups. And finally we've made it to moving into this wonderful home.

The unblocked view is amazing. And if you squint your eyes hard enough, there's a tiny strip of sea view in the farthest distance. Without further ado, let me show you around my little 4 room flat (93 m² or 1001 ft², including the aircon ledge). But firstly, the floor plan...

This is the recommended layout. Mine's slightly different. The TV and sofa is facing the opposite way and the entrance of the kitchen is shifted to the left instead of being at the right which is directly facing the 3rd bedroom. No good. And the 3rd bedroom is actually converted to a study room for the 4 of us.

After meeting up with our interior designer several times that comprises of hours and hours of discussions and decision making, to getting approval for the renovations which was delayed due to unknown reasons, the renovations finally began.

First day of renovation: Aircon installations, electrical wiring and hacking of kitchen wall - all in one day! No wonder our renovation took only about a month to complete. 😅

BEFORE...

The totally bare-faced home with my son. We opted out of the flooring, toilet accessories, and all of the doors.

AFTER... Because of our limited budget, our home was kept as simple and as practical as possible. More pictures...

Our living room with Van Gogh's beautiful painting. Wall fan is chosen for the entire home as I dislike how ceiling fan creates the flickering effect.

The dining area, with Van Gogh's painting again. Homogeneous tiles were used for the entire house instead of laminates that were used in the old house as they are much more durable and requires much less maintenance.

The kitchen. I finally own an oven. The very first oven of my life. Heh heh...

Master bedroom

Boys bedroom

Study Room that can accommodate 4 of us

Master Bathroom

Storage heater tank was installed to counter the problem of low water pressure that the higher floor houses face. Moreover, the water gets really hot in the afternoon which is unsuitable for babies and kids to shower. So the cool water in the storage tank solves this problem as well.

Common bathroom

Non-slip black tiles overlay the existing grey tiles in the shower to fix the water pooling problems as well as making the shower area child-friendly. My older boy used to slip and fall in the bathroom at the old house but not anymore now.

Simple stainless steel shelves were used for easy cleaning. (The glass shelves at the old home were a headache to clean.) Plastic/acrylic shower screen was chosen instead of glass ones for the very same reasons, as well as for safety reasons because of my 2 rambunctious boys. My ID said he haven't done plastic shower screen for all his projects for the past 5 years! Haha.

Lastly, the service yard.

Before I end, here's some beautiful sceneries I manage to capture...

The very first breaking dawn at our new home... I'll never forget how thankful, relieved and contented I am at that moment.

Sunset view from my yard. This earth is so beautiful and amazing.

But of course, to me, nothing is as beautiful as the family I love...

I hope my boys can grow up happily and healthily in our new cosy home. Love them always...

After 36 years, I have finally created the home that I love. And I shall enjoy all this gratefully as long as it lasts.

My Diaper Bag Essentials Checklist

2018-03-03T08:16:00.000+08:00

Dear all, let me share with you what's in my diaper bag as a second time mom. The following essential items are usually enough for baby (From 0 to 9 months) and me to be outdoors for up to 9 hours. Hope this helps 😉

1. Diaper Bag - mine was given free by the hospital. It has lots of pockets and it comes with a changing mat. Love this bag (in picture above).

2. Diapers and essentials - at least 3-5 diapers with disposable gloves (for my sensitive skin), wet wipes and dry tissue, nappy cream and hand sanitizer. PS: put all this together in a small bag so that you don't have to scrabble around looking for items during a diaper change.

3. Extra set of clothing - for any mess e.g. sweat, messed up meals, saliva, puke, pee, or poo.

4. Nappy cloth and hand cloth - to wipe up any mess. Sometimes, I also use nappy cloth as a scarf for my baby for chilly days or in very cold aircon areas like on buses or shopping centres.

5. Plastic bag - to place and discard used diapers or keep soiled clothings.

6. Weather essentials - umbrella, portable electrical fan, sunglasses and wide brim foldable hat: to cater for the unexpectable weather in Singapore (Rain>shine>rain>shine...)

7. Jacket - For the baby to wear if we'll be in a very cold area for extended periods of time, e.g. cinema, near ice-skating arena, or in arctic-cold supermarket.

8. Baby 'soothers' - Anything that soothes, calms, relieves, comforts, eases, pacifies or entertains the baby. The favourite toy car or handkerchief, the pacifier, teething toy, the blankie, that little crocodile soft toy or even a snack - anything that makes the baby happy. My baby likes to bite handkerchief and must nap with a pacifier so I bring these 2 things all the time. Sometimes you need to rotate the items in case baby gets bored. Bring anything (not too big) that works for your baby. A crying baby = a crazy mommy!

9. Handy tissue paper - for all occasions or mess. Due to hygiene reasons, I don't mix this with tissue used for diaper changes.

10. Mommy snack - usually an apple or a handy small bite in case I get hungry in between meals.

11. Milk - When I stopped breastfeeding or was in transition, I bring 2 milk bottles which contain milk powder for one feeding each, a water bottle with plain water, a 1 litre flask that contains hot water, and a bib. I put them all in a separate 'milk bag'. PS: I give baby a full feed just before heading out and immediately upon return.

12. Mommy's personal things - My water bottle, wallet, handphone, lip balm, etc.

There Is Nowhere Else In The World Like Home

2018-02-21T18:14:00.000+08:00

A dialog from Singapore's Channel 8 show: Tiger Mum show. Episode 19.

I find this very true and heartwarming. Just want to share with you...

"The world that we're living in is terrible as it is
Disasters, be it natural or man-made, nuclear leak,
Missile attacks, smog hazards, politicking at the workplace

Only one place offers a safe haven
Home (is where it is)

Your family won't hurt you, or backstab you
On the contrary, your family will go through thick and thin with you

Home is where you find warmth
Where you find hope

Home is where you nurse your wounds
It's where you catch your breath
Pull yourself together and
Equip yourself to charge again...

When you return home battle-scarred"

There is indeed nowhere else in this world like HOME.
And I am now trying to create one such home. Wish me luck.

Lizard Tails: Why do they still wriggle after being cut off?

2018-01-05T15:30:00.000+08:00

I am always fascinated about lizard's tail still wriggling even after it's severed from their body. In fact, I have an irrational fear of it wriggling into my ear and making me deaf - thanks to my mom who used to warn me about this when I was just a kid.

Fast forward, decades later, I've finally set down to find out the answer to this burning question.

According to Wikipedia, lizards actually lose their tail on purpose (!), not by accident, in a phenomenon called autotomy, simply known as self-severing or self-amputation.

When they feel threatened, they'll discard their own tail which continues to wriggle, in order to distract their predator while they make a quick escape. The tail is said to grow back later.

There are many other animals that have such self-defence mechanism to protect themselves.

Cool right? 😁

Why Can't I feel Satisfied With My Life?

2017-12-20T15:23:00.000+08:00

In search of life's satisfaction:
Every moment can be the perfect moment, if you let it.

There was once in my life I had everything I wished for. Some rather common things like a family, a degree, a job, a home, and a nice pair of shoes. It's like I suddenly realised all my dreams came true. More or less.

But the irony is, why do I feel more alive and purposeful before my dreams came true? Shouldn't I feel happier, contented, and relaxed after fulfilling my dreams?

Of course, there was the initial joy and pleasure of having what I wished for. After all, I tried so hard and put in so much effort. I earned it. But those positive emotions didn't last as long as I expected. So, what went wrong? What's wrong with me?

It is like you can have everything you'd wanted but you are still unsatisfied. Is it because a person's greed/wants can be unlimited, if you let it? Like the saying, all the things in the world cannot please a greedy person.

After much pondering, these are the two conclusions I came about for my situation.

1. Perhaps I am not grateful enough for all the things I have, and taking things and people for granted. So, I must increase my 'gratefulness level'. I don't want to regret if I ever lose them one day.

2. When there was something to achieve, I felt alive and purposeful. What I did was meaningful and needed. But when I've achieved my goals, there was nothing else to do, and nowhere to go to, which makes my days meaningless. So, in order to keep myself feeling alive, I have to find something meaningful to do.

But this time, I have to find something that is more sustainable (i.e. not accumulating expensive things), something that lasts - like helping people (This won't end. There are countless people who need help). Or, I can simply do well in my job and provide my service professionally to the people around me (This won't end too, unless you quit, got retrenched, etc). In short...

Just do something positive to the people around you as much as you can afford; mentally, physically and financially. And always be grateful and treasure what you have (for both people and things). Do not take them for granted.

Rules Of Being Happy

2017-12-02T15:27:00.000+08:00

My morning breakfast. Simple happiness.

Here are my simple rules for being happy.

Read this post whenever you're down for an instant mood lift!

Enjoy whatever that you are doing

Enjoy every step when you are walking

Enjoy every sip of hot or cold drink

Enjoy doing your job because it is the best job in the world (housewife included).

Enjoy your home

Enjoy your food

Enjoy your family

Forget all about your pain, worries, and grudges

Just really enjoy everything, anything...

Do not hold back your JOYs. Just En-JOY!

How To Really Live A Positive Life?

2017-11-17T16:56:00.000+08:00

They always say:

Be Positive.

But, how do we actually DO it? Mentally? Or physically? How exactly? When exactly?

Here's how I keep myself positive and upbeat: by creating a list of positive beliefs or mantras.

And here's the thing: I keep them near me - in my phone, desk wall or desktop - and I constantly recite them to myself, especially in tougher times.

Create your own list of beliefs, attitude, or mantras and repeat them to yourself periodically in order to lead a positive, driven life. They'll give you strength and courage to move onwards happily and positively everyday.

Here's my list. Hope they can inspire you too.

1. The best thing that you can do every single day of your life is to make positive contributions to the people around you or to the society. Do something useful to the people you meet everyday or bring warmth and joy to as many people as you can. Life is as miserable as it is. Everybody carries their own sets of problems, setbacks, and insecurities, no matter how great you think they may seem to be. Be as nice as you can. If it's really impossible to be nice all the time, at least be neutral. Don't add on to the hostility in this world.

2. Take it from Confucius: If you can't look back with satisfaction, at least look forward with anticipation. Instead of wallowing in self-pity because of a past event, why don't you put down the past, move onwards, look into your future and visualise what kind of life do you really want to live in? Let's say it's something materialistic (but realistic). You want to own a condominium within 5 or 8 years. Okay. So, what's the next step? Start working towards the goal you want! Start right now. Do well in your job, and save a certain amount of money monthly. Do the calculations. Plan the steps you need to take to lead you to your desired destination. Your daily motivation is to work towards your goal. By the way, my daily motivation is to create my very own warm and happy family and home that I never had growing up.

3. Stop negativity. Negativity in any form (complaining, comparing, worrying, wallowing in self-pity and despair) will only attract more negativity, like a vicious cycle. So, throw away your all unhappy past and all grudges, which is akin to pest - don't let it fester in your life and hinder you from becoming a better person anymore, it has done enough damage already. Take them as one of your life experiences or good lessons learnt. If there are no challenges in life, you will not taste the sweetness of true success and achievement.

4. My old fashion phrase:

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.

It's about learning how to dance in the rain.

~ Vivian Greene

To me, this saying meant that we should continue to experience and live life to the fullest no matter what may come upon us. Waiting for the right time to be 'finally happy ever after' is going to waste so much of the precious time out of our short life span that is ticking away continuously. Look for the joy even when it's raining.

5. Stop finding yourself. Stop creating yourself. Just be the best version of yourself. I came up with this because I really can't seem to 'find' my old self back and I feel tired trying to figure out who am I 'suppose' to be. So, I've decided to just present the best of myself in both good and bad times. This is a much more relaxing way to live. 😏

I hope this write-up can inspire you into moving onwards positively by adopting useful and encouraging beliefs and phrases into your everyday life. Cheers to being alive people!

My Second Pregnancy Till D-day

2017-10-05T10:03:00.000+08:00

My one day old child - Avin

Every child should be loved deeply and wholeheartedly... Lio, Dec 2016

Hi guys, I just want to share my second experience with pregnancy in this post for my parent-to-be readers. It is actually my diary, in the form of short notes, on my pregnancy journey on random weeks. Hope it gives you some form of relief or help. Enjoy the read.

My Pregnancy Diary

13 weeks per trimester

1st Trimester (week 1-13)

Week 5
The all-day nausea kicks in!

Plus fatigue, dizziness, headache, constipation, frequent, non-stop and all-day urination, waking up to pee 2-3 times at night, insomnia despite being very tired, total change of palate (e.g. stop eating my usual breakfast, apples, etc.).

Facial acne breakouts, painful and swelling breasts, alternating between having very cold (chills) and very hot (heats) spells in a short span of minutes. One moment I'm trembling in cold, and then next moment I'm heating up and sweating.

Had lots of dreams at night. All funny, lovely, scary, and meaningless ones.

Having bad cough for 3 to 4 months due to atopy (hay fever).

Everyday is unbearable.

Week 6
1st appointment with Doctor (ob/gyn) - very excited. Nausea kicks in full swing especially when stomach is empty. Almost feel like vomiting all the time but didn't - just felt very nauseated. I carry a plastic bag with me all the time, just in case.

Constant headaches esp. in this period of haze and joss paper burning. I feel like running away when I see smokers on the streets. All the smoke gives me throbbing head pain.

No more constipation 😄

Did not exercise due to overall weakness, but continue to do all the housework.

Weight gain steady - at about 0.5kg per week.

To curb nauseousness, I ate lots of ice popsicles made of fruit juice, Milo, milk, milk tea. I also popped pieces of frozen fruit in my mouth.

Week 8
Feeling nauseous the moment I wake up.

Everything seems to be in a blur to me. Not much energy left in my body, even walking is a chore.

Every smell (food, perfume, surroundings) seems to increase nauseousness.

Nothing tastes good 😢

Hot and stale weather makes things worse. The haze is here on and off. Having a breath of fresh air is getting more and more difficult. Finally bought an air purifier with humidifier - instant fresh air! Yay.

Week 9
Torturous, scorching hot, humid days. Rain makes it worse.

Feel like puking whole day.

Dizzy and tired.

Still having chills and heat spells, since week 5. One moment I feel like melting and sweating, next moment I feel extremely cold till I get goosebumps and I'll wrap myself up like an Eskimo. Unbearable feeling.

Doctor said to measure my temperature when I get the heaty spells. And if I hit above 37.5 degrees Celsius, meaning if I have a fever, I'll have to pop a panadol. Fever can cause miscarriage.

Had herbal chicken soup cooked with 'dang gui' and had a bad bout of stomach ache. Had some common street (pasar malam) food and had 3 days of upset stomach again. Fear of miscarriage. But luckily, nothing happened.

2nd Trimester (week 14-27)
Week 18
Finally pulled through to the 2nd trimester...

Nauseousness has finally began to vanish, like magic. Yippie!

Heats and chills have completely stopped 😁

Change of palate again: no longer craving for spicy and sour food like tom yam, curry, peppery soup, chilli, kimchi, achar, pickled chilli, orange, kiwi, pineapple, green apple, etc.

No more obvious food cravings

Sometimes, don't feel like eating at all. Yet sometimes feel like eating 2 meals at one go.

Painful inner thighs, with painful varicose veins.

Felt baby's movements!

Week 22
Detailed baby scan at NUH fetal care centre. We could see all parts of baby clearly - heart, bones, brains, even the face! It's amazing. Didn't remember having this scan for my first child. Everything looks fine. Very happy.

Nauseousness came back in unexpected waves 😩

Can't put on too much weight lest my plantar fasciitis (heel spur) acts up again, and making me unable to walk for days.

Week 25
Baby super kicks!

Nauseousness has finally stopped 😊 but heartburn begins.

Tummy getting bigger and tighter and people have started to notice.

Feeling breathless and bloated thus eating less. But still putting on 1kg every 2 weeks, which is within the recommended weight gain range.

Ate ice popsicles after every meal to cool down because of the humid weather

Did not exercise like I did for my first pregnancy. But still doing a lot of housework.

PS: No weight gain from week 27 to week 29 but thankfully, baby's weight more than doubled (0.6kg at week 26 to 1.45kg at week 30)

3rd Trimester (week 28-40)
Week 31
The craving for sour food returns. Ate a lot of pineapple, green apple, big oranges, guava with plum powder, Subway's chicken teriyaki with cheese and all vegetables with red wine vinegar sauce. And then there are my food court favourites: Korean Saba fish meal with kimchi, vegetarian noodle with sweet and sour tofu, Indonesian chicken set meal. Basically, my diet consists of a lot of chicken, cheese, fish, tofu, fruits and vegetables. Skipped all the vitamins that doctor prescribed, since I ate so consciously and healthily. As eating certain vitamins or supplements (e.g. calcium) can trigger the dreaded constipation!

Felt Braxton Hicks contractions - slightly painful tightening of my tummy. It was as clear as taxes! Didn't have this in my first pregnancy, so it caught me by surprise.

Had 2 bouts of diarrhea episodes that lasted for 2-3 days.

Sleepless nights. Very tired, yet can't fall asleep. Still waking up every night for 1-3 bathroom trips. In the daytime, felt the need to go bathroom every other hour, sometimes within 15 minutes.

Weight gain about 10kg

Continual hair loss

Feet swelled up on 2 occasions only. Prevented this by raising up my leg whenever I sit down.

Week 32
Zika fear! The virus has reached Singapore. Moms around the world are having newborns with 'small head syndromes' (also called microcephaly). It is every parent's nightmare. Apply mosquito repellent every single time I head out.

Had diarrhea again for the 3rd time, for 3 days. Does not seem like food poisoning, just 'pregnancy diarrhea'.

Sleeping and eating more normally now. Had lots of dreams again (is that you BFG?)

Digestion is good, still no constipation and piles, but has a little heartburn.

Feeling heavier and more tired.

Hair loss seems to slow down, finally.

Feels grateful every time doctor says baby is FINE.

Feels grateful every time baby gives a kick or swirls inside me. It means that he's alive. My first child (6 years old) sees and feels those baby movements all the time too and is getting increasingly excited to see his little brother.

Getting everything really ready: Baby car seat, cot, beddings, clothings, hospital bag, and shortlisted list of confinement food caterers and Malay massage ladies. Confinement bath herbs with pails and thermal containers for red date tea are all on standby mode as well.

Still not exercising for this pregnancy but did a lot of housework. Washed down toilets, wiped down windows, cooked, washed and changed bedsheets, swept and mopped floor, did the almost daily laundry, carried groceries home, and walked a lot while running personal or family errands. Research finds that these activities are as good as having moderate exercise if done at least 5 days every week for at least 30 mins each time. At least 150 mins per week of deliberate physical movement is good enough for health.

Week 33
No weight gain from week 30 to week 34. But baby is still gaining (1.8kg). Doctor said to drink more milk, eat more eggs and even durian to gain more weight for this final stretch.

Eating Subway's chicken teriyaki with honey oat bread, at least 3 times a week. Love it. Had lots of fish, tofu, nuts in moderate amounts (a handful per day of almonds, walnuts, cashews, and pistachios), cheese, chicken, vegetables and fruits (esp. pineapple, guava, watermelon, green apples, dried cranberries). Had occasional snack like biscuit, dark chocolate, waffles and ice cream.

PS: I ate a lot of pineapple (thrice per week, a slice each time) for 2nd and 3rd trimester, but I totally avoided it in my 1st trimester to avoid miscarriage.

Week 35
Lower back pain keeping me awake day and night, can't sleep throughout the night, waking up every 20 - 40 minutes. Arghhhh...

Tummy getting heavier, tighter and rock hard. Can see baby kicks clearly on tummy, almost can see his hands or legs when he kicks. Feel a weighty pressure on my groin area.

My outie (protruding belly button) now looks almost like an early hernia. I'm praying it's not!

Getting more and more difficult to breathe, eat, move, get up and walk. Wish everything can end soon. Getting very bored, sick and tired.

But everything seems to be in place now. Just waiting for the chaos to begin:

Baby Avin's arrival
Jovie's transition to primary one
Collection of keys to new flat
Renovation
Moving house

I love how my life is progressing now. Just hope that Avin can arrive soon and safely and everything will turn out fine.

Just can't wait. Simply can't wait to hold my dearest baby in my arms. Mommy loves you so much already my baby Avin!

At week 37 + 3 days: Went for doctor's appointment at his clinic, was 2 cm dilated. And was told baby can come anytime 😂

D-day! 24th November 2016, Thursday

At week 38 + 1 day, doctor's appointment at Gleneagles Hospital

9.30 am:
I was 2.5cm dilated, ready for active labour. Asked doctor whether I can deliver on that very day and was given an "Ok"! So, off we go, straight into the labour ward. In fact, we had our hospital bag with us already :)

10.30am:
Geared up for childbirth: I was strapped onto the CTG which monitors baby's heartbeat (120-150) and my contractions (4-120). I was also given antibiotics due to being Group B strep positive. Later, I was given the Pitocin drip to speed up labour and I had my bowels cleared using Fleet. Next, doctor came in to break my waters manually. Then, came the uneventful and quiet waiting period.

11am:
Contractions began. Pain level of 1-2 on a scale of 1 to 10.

12pm:
Hubby went for lunch and doctor came to check on me. 3cm dilated.

1-2pm:
Contraction pain level 2-3. Was constantly reminded to ask for epidural early if I couldn't take the pain, preferably before 5cm dilation. I insisted that I'm sure I didn't want to take epidural again. Arranged for my sister to pick up my older son from the childcare centre as we figured that we couldn't make it in time to fetch him before 7pm.

Doctor said ...Estimated Time of Delivery: 7 to 8pm.

2-5pm:
Pain level gradually increased from 4 to 5 then 6 to 7. It got really unbearable. Once, while I was swaying my hips from side to side to alleviate pain, my hubby grabbed me by my hips thinking that it would help. In fact, by preventing me to sway, it made that particular contraction so painful that I feel like kicking him out of this earth.

Seeing me in distress, hubby encouraged me to use the 'laughing gas' (which consists of 50% Nitrate Oxide and 50% Oxygen). It was heavenly. The peak of the contraction pain was leveled off and thus became bearable. I just have to breathe in the gas at the right time (take in 3 slow breaths just before pain kicks in and then take off the mask till the next wave of pain). Too much of it will make me dizzy and heady (sometimes, I fell asleep for a few seconds). So, it takes a bit of time to get the hang of it. No regrets using this! Much better than epidural.

6pm:
At last, I can feel baby coming down my vaginal area. Super painful. There's a fear of myself passing out from the pain. There was a lot of painful pressure below. It really feels like I am having the biggest hard-rock poo of my life, ever. Sorry to sound gross, but it's true. I don't even have to push because it's instinctual. Anyway, you're in too much pain to push. You just let your body and nature do its job. You just need to keep your eye on the prize 👶 and soldier on!

6.29pm:
Then plop - baby has arrived after a few final uterine squeezes! I could feel it slipping out from below. What a wonderful childbirth experience! Baby is crying and fine. He even peed twice upon arrival, once on the father. Then out came the placenta few moments later, which felt like a smaller poo. Afterwhich, I felt my doctor stitching me up (perineal tear). And after resting in the labour ward for 2 hours, I was finally wheeled to my maternity ward.

Phew... 8 hours labour in total.
Now I feel like an invincible superwoman 💪
And finally, finally... my ~~prize~~ precious in my arm. 👶😍

Homecoming, postpartum, and confinement

I gave birth on Thursday evening and checked out of the hospital on Saturday afternoon. It was a relief to reach home safely with my healthy newborn. He only had slight jaundice so no further treatment was needed. He constantly had dark greenish sticky poo and kept spitting out milk for the first few days after homecoming. Doctor say it's okay as his digestive system has not stabilized yet.

Postpartum uterine contractions were not as painful as for my first pregnancy and I need not take any painkillers. Lochia, or postpartum bleeding was heavy only for the first 2 days and it gradually slowed down to a trickle for the next 3 weeks.

On the second week, my breasts were engorged, and nipples were sore and bruised especially after baby sucked at nothing for the first 3 days (milk supply came in on the 4th day after giving birth). A Malay lady came to my house to give me Jamu massage and also relieved my breast engorgement. I could pump bottles of milk (40ml-100ml at one time for both breasts) after just two massage sessions. I must highlight, hubby is the confinement daddy! He took about one month of leave to help me around the house, buy groceries and took care of our first child who had a 2 week bout of illness in that very month.

I had the usual red date tea with longan and goji berries (I couldn't stomach plain water), and ordered natal confinement tingkat (meals) for 28 days which is said to reduce 'wind' and boost/restore your physical health with ginger and all sorts of Chinese herbs.

There was soreness and swelling at my vagina area and peeing was painful. I also had incontinence (peeing while coughing) which improved after a few days. I did not feel as weak, tired, heaty and sweaty as I did during my first pregnancy (basically, I don't feel like I have just given birth). I was about 53 kg before pregnant, then I put on 10kg (63 kg), and was 58 kg immediately after giving birth. Then, I put on 2-3 kg after that because breastfeeding makes me sooo hungry so I just ate everything until I felt satisfied. I was also bloated after giving birth due to water retention.

On the third week, I developed painful piles (even though I don't suffer from chronic constipation like I did for my 1st child) and had carpel tunnel syndrome (CTS, electric-shock like pain and weakness on both wrists and hands). Went for my postpartum check up 6 week after giving birth where the doctor scanned and checked whether my uterus has shrunk to its pre-pregnancy size and a Pap smear was done as well. Asked doctor about my painful wrist (CTS) and he said it might be largely due to water retention which presses on my nerves and that he could prescribe medications to alleviate the pain, but I'll have to stop breastfeeding. I rejected the offer since doctor said the pain will go away gradually, which did happen after about 4 months. It's also around this time that the postpartum hair loss began. Hair fell out continuously throughout the day, especially when bathing.

But the good news is, 6 months after giving birth, all the pain and suffering I've mentioned is almost gone and I am now back to my prepregnancy weight - although, there are still loose skin and fats around my tummy, thighs and arms. I'll continue to avoid sugar and white rice/bread and eat healthy proteins (salmon, chicken, other omega 3 fat rich foods), and loads of vegetables and fruits and drink loads of water. I'll continue to keep myself active everyday by doing all the housework (sweep, mop, scrub, wipe, iron, and cook), continuing my grocery runs and school runs, shopping for home essentials, and walk whenever I could. All this with my baby strapped onto me. 😍🚼 Sports shoes and fit flop are my best friends now.

The end...

If Everything Turns Out The Way You Want It...

2017-09-21T15:24:00.000+08:00

It may not be a good thing, if everything turns out exactly the way you want them to be.

I used to wish that my hubby could spend more time with me instead of his electronic gadgets. But one day, I saw a show depicting a man madly in love with his wife to the point that he's suspicious of every single person speaking to her. He often followed her on the sly, just to make sure that his wife remains faithful to him.

I cannot imagine if my hubby becomes like that one day. It'll be very frustrating and will bring about a lot of stress.

I am now very contented the way things are turning out right now. My life is as perfect as I think it is. I should already be thankful when my family is safe and sound, our country is doing well, and the earth is still spinning as per normal.

Like the saying goes:

You can have everything you'd always wanted but you're still not satisfied.

Because greed can be unlimited if you let it.

Essential Checklist For Hiring A Helper

2017-08-05T14:38:00.002+08:00

Dear readers, here's a checklist for hiring a domestic helper in Singapore.

Our family used to have a helper who is here mainly to help take care of my elderly father-in-law and has since left us for another employer in 2016.

And here are the things that we've done and prepared for the entire hiring process. Hope it can give some pointers when you hire a helper one day. Cheers!

1. Financial Obligations: Initial deposit [3-6 months of maid's pay (which is about $400 per month), for a 2-year contract], maid's monthly pay, pocketmoney, Sunday off-day pay, (note the mode of these payments: cash, maid's bank account, or remittance back to her own country), maid's government levy, insurance, security bond/deposit, medical/dental cost (we paid for her $500/++ wisdom tooth removal and bi-yearly body checkup), daily food and lodging (electricity/water) expenses, toiletries and personal consumables expenses (my first maid came with only a piece of soap for toiletries) and money set aside for her one-way air ticket home. My total monthly cost of having a maid can easily reach $1000. Very much like owning a car in Singapore.

2. Proper Sleeping/Resting Area: Well-ventilated room with beddings, pillow, blanket.

3. Three Meals A Day: Home-cooked (maid buys groceries and cook), takeaway, delivery, a meal at the food court, etc. Eating utensils: Plate, bowl, cup, fork, spoon, water bottle.

4. Basic Toiletries: Towel, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair/facial/body wash, menstrual pads, etc.

5. House Rules and Home Safety and Hygiene:

Daily Working Schedule: Write or print out a working schedule from Mondays to Fridays stating the working and resting hours, the job to be done, e.g. sweep floor everyday at 4pm, so that she knows what to do everyday and what are your expectations of her.

Emergency numbers to call: when to call who, how to use house phone or handphone, numbers to call (your number, relatives', doctor, ambulance, etc.

Locking and closing of main doors and all window grilles at all times (prepare extra set of keys for her).

No stepping of low stools while hanging out the laundry and while cleaning windows in high-rise flats.

No wastage of food, electricity and water, especially in Singapore where everything is relatively expensive.

Practice proper hygiene while preparing food, e.g. wash hands before handling food. Prevent spreading of germs or diseases, e.g. cover mouth or turn away when coughing or sneezing.

6. Other Orientation:

Teaching the helper to use household appliances and electronic gadgets e.g. kitchen tools like can-opener, blender and special knives. Oven, stove, cooker hood, microwave oven, hot pot, water-heater, coffee machine, iron and ironing board, vacuum-cleaner, mopping equipment, air-conditioner, air purifier, TV, radio,

Elderly care and childcare rules, expectations and work scope e.g. cooking preferences (less oil, salt, sugar), bathing, dressing and taking elderly or child to nearby park/playground, picking child up from school, etc.

Communication with elderly and administering medications/pills, daily injections, simple medical tests (blood glucose test), and skin/wound care etc. Note: There is a one-day brief elderly-care course for the main caregiver or maid conducted at the hospitals.

Introduce and explain important social or cultural practices in Singapore and bring her around the neighbourhood so that she can familiarise herself with the new culture and surroundings.

It will be good to ask about her family or background to know her better and to treat her with respect so as to maintain a good employer-employee relationship. Have as much patience as you can since she is new to both your home and your country. Give her ample time to ease in.

Essential Checklist For Elderly Care

2017-07-12T13:27:00.000+08:00

Having taken care of my elderly father-in-law before, I have compiled a basic checklist for elderly care. This is a complete checklist of things that I've prepared, bought, done, and arranged. Hope it'll come in handy for my readers who are going to take care of their elderly parent or relative.

1. Personal Belongings: Hand-phone (for emergencies, with your number or main caregiver on speed dial and also numbers of hospitals, doctors, etc.), spectacles, clothing and underwear, bags, shoes/socks, slippers, accessories (hats, belts, ties, scarf), walking aids/sticks, wheelchair.

2. Medications, Injections, Incontinence Care: All medications (pills, vitamins, supplements), pill boxes, external or skin medications/lotions, Q-tips, needles for injection, alcohol swaps, consumables for incontinence care like elderly diapers, wet wipes, dry tissue and toilet paper.

3. Daily Meal Arrangements: Home cook, meal delivery or takeaway? Eating utensils like bowl, plate, fork, spoon, cup, water bottle.

4. Beddings and Furniture: Bed frame, mattress with bedsheets, pillow/bolster and their cases, blanket, safety bar (to assist elderly in getting up bed), cupboard, drawers and clothes hangers. TV, TV console, radio, armchair or lounge chair.

5. Toiletries: Towel, hair, facial and body wash, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, shaver and shaving cream, comb, hair gel, hair accessories, hair clipper, nail cutter, bathing chair.

6. Safety: Install safety bars or handrails at important areas in the house e.g. beside bed, outside and inside bathroom, main entrance of house, areas with kerb (place ramps at kerbs for wheelchair accessibility) and staircases. Place anti-slip mat, or apply anti-slip flooring at the showering area.

Ensure main pathways in the house has adequate lighting (or well-lit. Especially important for night-time bathroom trips), is clutter-free and wheelchair-friendly, so that elderly can move around house freely, safely, and easily (remove wires off the floor, big plant pots, small or little furniture, carpet, etc.)

Last, but not the least,

7. Personal Important Documents and Life-end Arrangements: Identity card, passport, bank book/cards/accounts, insurance documents and agents' contact numbers, other financial documents of bank, will, investments, property/estate, etc.).

Life-end arrangements or preferences like will, asset or monetary allocation, lodging, food, care-giving, funeral, and perhaps appoint a decision-maker legally if elderly were to lose consciousness or cognitive ability one day.

Like all living things, everyone will die one day. The best thing that we can do for the elderly is to keep him/her as healthy and happy as we can, create a clean and pleasant home for them, give them our love and attention, respect their choices, have lots of patience, help them keep as much dignity as possible and perhaps ask and fulfill their final wishes so that they can leave this world happily, without any regrets. :)

Elderly Care And My Second Myanmar Helper

2017-06-06T12:21:00.001+08:00

Elderly- friendly home: Safety bars outside and inside the toilet and shower, anti-slip treatment of bathroom flooring, and new beddings with safety handle

We can finally heave a sigh of relief as my first helper is being sent home and we were no longer held liable for any trouble that she might get into (read about my first helper here). Thankfully, we were informed that our second helper will be here within a month.

As mentioned before, we hired a helper to take care of my elderly father-in-law (FIL). If you are interested in our first-hand experience of elderly-parental care - initially, without a helper - this is the article you'll want to read. And why did we hire a maid eventually? What did we actually do everyday as caretakers? What happens in our everyday life as caretakers for an elderly parent, particularly in the context of Singapore? What can you expect to happen? I hope that this article can give you some pointers when you are to take care of your elderly parents one day.

First, let me tell you about our situation which led us to hire a helper. What made us commit to this long-term and expensive expenditure? Can't the son/daughter or their stay-home wife/husband take care of their parents? A helper can cost you about $1000 a month (monthly pay, pocket money, clothes, daily necessities, dental, medical, insurance, outings, lodging, etc.). This is about the same as the monthly expenditure of owning a car. Here's why...

Throughout the years, my FIL has been whizzed in and out of the hospital about once every year. He would either fall in the bathroom, get a mini stroke, or would suddenly be too weak to move. He had a major stroke more than 10 years ago and is slightly disabled in his left arm and leg and walks about with a walking aid. He stays with his younger son (my hubby's younger brother) in their home in Woodlands, but he only prefers to speak to my hubby and no one else.

Due to this communication hurdle, my husband has to travel from the west of Singapore to the north whenever my FIL has a medical appointment, is being rushed to the hospital, or for any other matters pertaining to my FIL. This went on for the past 15 years.

But in recent years, FIL's health further deteriorated. Although he has high blood pressure, diabetes, and skin inflammations/bleeding all over his body, he doesn't watch his diet and doesn't take his medications and injections properly. He'll either skip them or finish a whole day's worth of medications in the morning, for convenience sake. And as usual, he eats whatever oily and unhealthy food he wants and whenever he wants, even when the doctors say his health condition is getting worse and he is putting on a lot of weight.

Eventually, within the span of a year, he went into hospital twice, each time lasting for about 3-4 months because he has gotten so sick and weak. After series of physiotherapies, and weeks of proper diet and medications that he received in the hospital, he started to regain his mobility and health and is eventually send back home. But he'll set out to begin yet another vicious cycle where he'll ignore all advice, continue his unhealthy eating and medication habits, only to get another stroke and be sent to the hospital for months again.

All this while, my hubby has to rush between his work, the hospital, bringing my FIL to periodic medical appointments at other clinics (eye, skin, urology appts, and etc.) and between the homes in the north and west of Singapore. Day after day, I witness my hubby getting increasingly thin and frail.

I couldn't bear to see my hubby wasting away any further and suggested to bring FIL over to our house and let me take care of him instead, on top of taking care of my then 4-year-old son. So, we foresee that hubby only need to rush between work, home and FIL's routine medical appointments. With me watching FIL's diet and administering his medications properly, he'll have lesser chance of ending up in the hospital again.

In the meantime, my FIL could also spend quality time with my young boy - the only grandchild that my FIL speaks to and play with.

Furthermore, my FIL's medical account and all other savings are totally depleted and my hubby has to pay cash in the thousands for each of my FIL's hospital stays. We simply cannot afford to keep paying for this. We're getting very broke.

And so, we set out to prep our house to be elderly-friendly before bringing FIL over to stay with us. We installed safety bars inside and outside the bathroom (he is given his personal bathroom and bedroom), had the bathroom floor sprayed with anti-slip chemicals, and bought a new comfy bed, drawers, and his personal TV. Finally, we moved his personal belongings from his Woodlands home to our house.

PS: Safety bars around the house, anti-slip floor treatment in the bathrooms and even ramps for wheelchair accessibility can be installed at subsidised rates under EASE programme. You can apply from there. There are also discounts if you want to buy wheelchairs, walking aids, bathroom chairs, etc. Please enquire from your assigned social worker.

By the time FIL arrives at our house, we have already got a well-planned daily routine for him. In the morning, my hubby would bathe him (if FIL wants to) before going to work, and I'll prepare food and medications. In the afternoon, I'll push FIL in his wheelchair and we'll send my son to his 4-hour day school before coming back home for lunch. While FIL takes a nap in the afternoon, I would do the housework, laundry, buy groceries, or run some errands. Then, in the late afternoon, I'll bring FIL to fetch my son and we'll go to the nearby playground and my FIL will enjoy the breeze and outdoors and watch in delight as my son plays with the other kids. Then in the evening, hubby would buy dinner and come back and bathe FIL and administer the needed medications, while I take care of my son. After dinner, all of us would gather in the living room to watch TV and FIL would enjoy watching his grandson playing toys on the floor. This routine went on peacefully for weeks. Until....

One day, FIL wet himself while heading towards the bathroom. He was losing bladder control but did not know it himself. So there was a trail of urine between his bedroom and the bathroom. I quickly did the cleaning up, because apparently, he simply walked over his urine even though I told him to wait. Did he not know (did his cognitive function decreased)? Or he can't hear me? I really don't know. Because, as usual, he was a man of few words. Often, he'll go on for days without uttering a word. When my hubby asked him about it, he too did not answer. Finally, after another few times of such 'accidents', and upon our further probing, he said that he 'kind of' know about it (his losing of bladder control).

So, every time after I mop off the urine and try to help him change his pants, he adamantly refuse to let me help him in any way and demanded that I leave his room, though in a courteous way. I figured that he's most probably awkward about letting his daughter-in-law (me) help him change. But, what seemed easy (putting on pants) would take him about an hour to accomplish, since he was partially disabled in his left limbs. Sometimes, he didn't want to change at all and goes about the day with the soiled pants on. When we suggested letting him wear diapers, he flatly refused.

One morning, he suddenly vomited while I took him downstairs to shop for his stuff. When we got home, he refused to let me clean him and change his clothes. Never mind! No need, no need (to change), he said to me smilingly. And so, he wore the soiled clothes until my hubby came back in the evening to bathe him.

And on a few occasions, FIL had diarrhea and soiled his pants but he simply refuse to tell us and went about the day wearing the soiled pants (we'll find out while washing his pants or when we detect a foul smell throughout the house).

This is when the idea of hiring a domestic helper comes in.

We reviewed our financial situation and thought that the next best thing that we could do is to hire a helper to take care of FIL. For one, he may not feel awkward for a helper to change or clean him up, just like how he'll let the nurses in the hospitals clean/change him. And my husband simply couldn't take emergency leave all the time just to rush back to clean him. Most importantly, we just can't let him be in soiled clothes throughout the day, all the time. Also, sending him to a private nursing home would cost at least $2000 - $3000 without subsidy. Mind you, you can only send your parent to the subsidized public nursing home only after fulfilling certain stringent conditions (ask your allocated social worker about this). If you are rich enough, you can send your parent to the more expensive private homes, provided there are vacancies.

So, the most affordable solution for us is to hire a helper. After the departure of our first terrible Myanmar helper, our second Myanmar helper came 3 weeks later. Let's call her Nin.

Nin is also a new helper with no experience (the information they write in the helpers' resumes, I figured, isn't very truthful/accurate). But thankfully, she's good. She's hardworking, friendly, polite, willing to learn, can speak simple English, does a clean job, can cook well, can play along well with my son and takes care of his safety. Even my FIL likes her a lot, which makes hubby and me very relieved.

Unfortunately, a month later, we have to pay about $600 in total to have one of her wisdom tooth removed (her insurance doesn't cover dental expenses). In fact, we'd actually noticed that her cheeks seemed to be swollen and upon probing, she admitted that she's in pain. Apparently, Nin was already having a toothache during the body check-up in Singapore but she didn't dare to say anything for the fear of losing her job and being send back home. She needed the job to help make ends meet for her family in Myanmar. Since she's been good so far, we paid for all the dental expenses and prayed that she will not quit on us before her 2-year contract ends.

The initial weeks went pretty well. My hubby supervised Nin in bathing and administering medication to my FIL, and I orientated Nin about our house rules, cleanliness and safety at home (lock window grilles at ALL times), familiarize her to the surrounding areas of our home, initiated her to some of the Singapore culture, adjusted her cooking style (less oily, salty), and I also function mainly as a translator between Nin and my FIL, and etc.

Then something else began to happen. My FIL began to be complacent.

Once, while pushing my son (who is sitting on FIL's wheelchair, on FIL's insistence) towards a small road with an oncoming fast car, my FIL simply refused to stop for the car, insisting that the car should stop for him instead. In my moment of panic, I gathered all my might to pull back the wheelchair with my dearest son in it! (Reminder: my FIL has a big built and is really quite strong). At the next moment, we witness the fast car speeding across us, with no intention to slow down at all. If I weren't there that day, or hadn't stop my FIL in time, my son would have died.

Then, on many instances, while my son was playing his toys on the floor, FIL would suddenly push his wheelchair towards my son, crushing his toys along the way before scaring and cornering my tiny son to a corner, just for the fun of it. What if my son's tiny fingers were on the floor? Wouldn't they be crushed? Once, he even used his huge body weight to crash on my little boy trying to 'play' with him. My hubby was shocked too and deduced that FIL overestimated himself and didn't know that he might hurt his grandson while trying to 'play' with him. We tried explaining to him but our advice was simply brushed aside. Nevermind, it's ok, he'll say laughingly.

In addition to safety, there's another problem: cleanliness.

One day, out of the blue, my FIL began to resist washing his hands after visiting the bathroom and went on to have his meals and feed my son his share of food with his bare hands. Usually, after his meals, he'll have some food splattered onto his shirt and pants, since he can only use one hand to feed himself. And when we tried to clean him up, he refused flatly, saying that we're such clean freaks and it's not good to be too clean. And so he went on his day switching on/off the light switches, turning door knobs, touching the TV remote controllers and everything else with his unwashed hands. Eventually, on two occasions, our whole family, which includes our helper, my son, hubby, and me, was subsequently down with stomach flu. All of us vomited, and/or had diarrhea and fever for days. The medical bills for the whole family were really getting unbearable.

Sometimes, my ignorant son even picked up FIL's dead skin on the floor to eat! (My FIL has a skin condition where he had bleeding ulcers all over his body and can shed a lot of dead skin, some, in pieces/crusts. Every morning, after he wakes up, we'll have to sweep off his dead skin on his bed or wash the bed sheets altogether.) Moreover, FIL began to revert to his unhealthy eating habits consisting of all sorts of unhealthy snacks, and loads of oily and fatty pork/pig trotters meals which obviously worsens his skin condition - which means more ulcers, more bleeding, and more shedding of dead skin around the house.

By that time, living in our house has become too much to bear. The filthiness throughout the house, the illnesses, the daily stresses and everything else...

That was when hubby and I decided, mainly for the safety and health of our young son, to send FIL back to his own rightful home in Woodlands, where he can be himself and not be restricted in any way by us. Of course, this time, he'll have a personal helper to serve his daily needs - bathing, meal preparations, medications and daily strolls in the park. Besides, there are only adults in the Woodlands home where my hubby's younger brother who is living there with his wife is hardly at home. They work on weekdays and usually visit Johor over the weekend, leaving the house empty most of the time.

Things were fine after the maid and FIL settled down in Woodlands and Nin even mentioned that FIL seems to be in good mood, occasionally whistling and singing to himself and enjoying all his favourite food. Until about six months later, FIL became weaker and couldn't walk anymore. He was eventually admitted to the hospital and has become bedridden.

That's when the doctors advised us to send him to a nursing home as one helper cannot handle him alone. You need at least 2 persons at a time to, say, lift FIL up, in order to clean him. Of course, we cannot afford to have 2 helpers. And this time, with certain conditions fulfilled, we will get a sizeable government subsidy to reduce the cost of the nursing home bills. So, in about a month, FIL was send to a nursing home. We were lucky to get a bed/placement. Just like subsidised childcare in Singapore, there are not many vacancies in our subsidised nursing homes. Sometimes, you have to wait for 3 months.

With my FIL settled at the nursing home, we ceased the services of Nin - our hard working helper, who has been doing a rather good job (with some glitches here and there, but hey, nobody's perfect) - and sent her back to her agency to find another employee since she wants to continue working here in Singapore. PS: If she wants to go back home, we'll have to buy her a one way ticket and send her off at the airport.

Later, we heard Nin found a new employee. I wish her well.

Subsequently, on top of our own family (which includes the whole family of my hubby's brother and sister), we heard that other relatives and old friends of FIL has been visiting him at the nursing home periodically too, making him rather happy. Although he's still the man with few words. And every Sunday, my hubby would visit him and bring him out for a good meal.

Thus, this ends the episode of taking care of one of our elderly parent.

My First Myanmar Helper

2017-05-20T12:16:00.001+08:00

Back in 2015, hubby and I decided to engage a helper to help me take care of my elderly father-in-law. I have never imagined that I would have the chance to hire a helper, especially when everything here in Singapore is getting so expensive. But it was getting increasingly awkward for me and my FIL as he was resistant about me helping him in his daily living activities like changing of clothes. An external help was needed. And so, we hired a helper on a budget.

But things turned out to be a nightmare rather than a blessing. Let me share with you my first experience of having a helper at home.

We chose a Myanmar (Burmese) helper because they were thought to be more obedient and hardworking (though, they can really eat a lot). Furthermore, most Muslim Indonesian helpers cannot handle pork (my father-in-law's favourite food - although they can actually communicate in Malay with some of our older folks), and Filipino helpers (they have the best command of English) are relatively more expensive.

From the stack of helper profiles that were given by the agency, we randomly chose one of them that we found okay (looked friendly and hardworking). There were no calls or interviews carried out so we relied solely on the information that was written in the resumes: can take care of elderly/children under 5 years, can speak/understand English, can cook Chinese food, etc.

Let's call my first helper Qing.

Qing first came as a very quiet, timid and nervous girl. She hardly spoke during the first few days and I thought to myself: Great, at least she's not the loud, noisy type.

But, there's only so much that I could take.

Three weeks on, she still refuses to talk and only answered in seemingly pre-taught standard answers like "Yes ma'm, I understand", or "dirty ma'am". The worse thing is, when I told her that there's no need to be so nervous around us and should relax and speak up more, she began to sing Myanmar songs very loudly and even talked to herself while doing her chores! I tried to command her to stop singing and talking to herself because it's just too weird. She's not here for a vacation but to work for goodness sake. "Yes ma'am, I understand, no sing.. no sing..." she'll reply with a smile but she'll start singing 5 minutes later! So, in the end, I figured that she don't really understand and speak English, unlike what was written in her resume.

When we ask her to bathe, she went to sit in her room (sorry, but she really has a distinct smell and we realised that she doesn't wash her hair everyday). And when we tell her to eat, she went to wipe the windows. In the following days, we ended up spending our energies trying to get her to understand some simple English words like, bathing, washing, cooking, etc, using the Myanmar translation app on the ipad. It was really a chore.

Despite all our efforts, her work performance did not improve. She is still forgetful, half-hearted in her work, and she did many other weird things.

She does not do a clean job e.g., cleans half the cupboard or windows only, and is rude to my father-in-law (FIL). I've caught her demanding my FIL to sit down in an offensive manner - with pointy fingers, fierce face and all - and laughed when my FIL tripped and almost fell down.

And when my FIL gets up to pee at night, I always have to call her up to help (my FIL has a rather big build and cannot walk properly). Sometimes I gave up waking her because she's such a good sleeper! No amount of shaking can wake her up. One night, there were fireworks going on near my house and she'd actually slept through that. Goodness.

One morning, I caught her waking up with a face full of makeup. Panda eyes from smudged mascara, powdered face and traces of lipstick and blusher. She literally slept with makeup on - to which she flatly denied.

I couldn't tolerate all this anymore. Even when you are angry, she can give you her megawatt smile. Once she forgot to lock the window grilles and I scolded her because my then adventurous 4-year-old son may decide to climb out of the window and fall to his death. We're living on the 15th floor so this is no joke. In fact, this is the very first thing I told her when she first came. Qing, you must lock all window grilles, my son may climb out! And to my horror, while I was scolding her, she can still break a cheeky smile at me. I swear I almost feel a stroke coming on.

Although she is forgetful when it comes to housework, there are things that she'll never forget to do: switch on the TV and watch drama shows everyday (she seems to partially understand Chinese shows), or take a magazine from my stash and read in her bed when she has 'finished' her work.

When I teach her stuff around the house, e.g., cooking or the laundry, she refuses to learn or put in effort and acted like a princess and so, cannot do all the things I mentioned. I ended up doing a lot of things myself and I feel like I need to take care of her at the same time. She's always admiring herself in the mirror and spends her free time washing her face and neatening her hair as if she's getting ready for a night out.

There has not been any initiative taken too. Everything needs to be told. Hold the door, press for the lift, look out for cars for my son and FIL, open the door, close window when raining, get a cloth to wipe the mess... it was exhausting, to say the least.

At the end of the month, we allow her to call home and gave her $50 as pocket money to buy her own stuff. The very next day, she suddenly refuses to work, hid in the toilet, and said that she has stomachache and so, requested to go back home to Myanmar. I know she's lying because she simply refused to see a doctor as I suggested.

I've read in the internet that many new and young Myanmar maids come here to 'see the world' and not really to work. Many are as young as 16 years old posing as 25 year olds. This is a good deal as you get the chance to get on the plane and go overseas for the first time to 'see the world' and get paid work at the same time, which includes free food and accommodation. Later, I came to know, if they work in Myanmar for the same work done, they are paid 15-20 Singapore dollars a month. But when they work in Singapore, they get paid at least 500 dollars a month after repaying their initial work loan for the first 4-6 months. That is about 25 times the salary. So, why not try it once in your life?

And so, on Qing's final day, after having 50 bucks in her pocket, she was bend on quitting and vehemently insisted going straight home on that very day because she's "not feeling well" and even cried as I tried to console her (it appears that she can speak much better English while negotiating to go home). Later, I found out from my Myanmar neighbour, just 2 doors away, that she actually didn't really come here to work but to 'see the world' and wants to go home suddenly because she misses her family.

When she's leaving, she was all smiles and still expected me to open and hold the door for her, and carry her bag. It's ridiculous, considering all the torture she has caused me. Did I hire someone to come and be my little daughter? In any case, I can't wait to send her off for the sake of my sanity.

Since she left, I think my blood pressure returned to their normal levels and I hope she gets her thoughts straightened out before she finds a new employee.

By the way, my agent at the maid agency said that I was too kind to let her read magazines in her free time even when she did not do her job properly and let her call home thrice within her first month here. No wonder she got lazy, swayed, and quit immediately upon getting her 50 bucks, which is more than 2 months worth of salary back home.

Subsequently, we paid a small sum of money (50 dollars if I'm not wrong) for the lodging of Qing in the Singapore dormitory while she's getting ready to go home or find another new employee. Meanwhile, we paid for the insurance for a new Myanmar maid that we have (again) randomly chose and await for her arrival in about a month - with our fingers crossed.

PS: The experience with our second Myanmar helper was a blessing! She's hardworking, friendly, can cook well, and can speak simple English. Will tell you about her soon. 😊

Philips Avent 4-in-1 Healthy Baby Food Maker and My 5 Month Old Boy

2017-05-15T05:30:00.000+08:00

As we move closer the half point of 2017, I looked back and thought that it's been a hectic year for me so far. Taking care of a newborn and a primary one kid with no helpers - which consist of: everyday school fetches (no school buses running the route anywhere near my house and no slots for after school care!), meal preparations, marketing and running errands, endless housework and laundry - is no easy feat with little and/or broken sleep.

I might have mommy-insomnia already because tonight I ~~woke up~~ gave up sleeping again (baby shifts/wakes every hour, waking me up. Sometimes, the bigger kid talks/cries in his sleep too). And so, here I am having 'breakfast' at 2~3am and typing this very blog, not knowing when is the next time I can have a proper nap. My eyes are so dry they can hardly open and I need to stock up on more eye moisturising drops.

So, when it's time to introduce my 5-month-old baby solid foods, I thought I'll do anything to save the time and effort for the food preparation. (see my baby's recipe for my first child and check out this great website for baby first foods).

Let me present to you: the 4-in-1 Baby Food Maker. It steams, blends, reheats, and defrost, all in a nifty jar! And you only need to wash ONE gadget. How's that for saving time and effort? I bought it for $169 at Kiddy Palace and here's my review.

First, cut 300g of pumpkins (with skin removed) into 1 cm cubes.

Then, fill up water into the steamer. Water level indicator with corresponding heating time is indicated clearly at the side. Recommended steaming time for different types of food are listed in the manual. Next, steam the pumpkin for 15 mins. Three gentle beeps would be heard at the end of 15 mins. It may be fine for you, but I find the pumpkins too overcooked. Next time, I'll steam for 10 mins or cut pumpkins into 2 cm cubes instead.

After steaming is done, manually turn the knob back to zero and flip the jar, lock it in place and start blending by pressing the grey round button in the middle of the knob.

Wait for a while for the jar (hot!) to cool down before unlocking it and removing its cover. Pour pumpkin puree into the special containers as shown in picture above (one comes in the package, I bought the other 2 separately). Then, refrigerate or freeze them after they cool down in about 30 mins to an hour. Of course, you can also pour puree into a separate bowl and feed the baby 😋

When it's feeding time, take out one container to reheat/defrost. Fill up water into the steamer. Use the given 'special hook' to place the special container into the jar PS: you must remove the cutting blades from the jar when you reheat/defrost. and turn knob to reheat (at 15/25 min mark depending on the size [small/big] of your container) or defrost (at 30 min mark) setting to start the steamer. Can you see the special container inside the jar?

After steaming, flip the jar, remove its cover and take out the container (hot!) from jar using the 'special hook' again.

Wait for container to cool, remove its cover and use the other side of hook which now doubles as a spatula to scoop out the puree into a serving bowl. But I think it's more hygienic to wash the whole spatula before using it or use another spoon altogether to scoop out food. #OCDmom

Finally, serve it to your darling with love (This is my 5 month plus old Bean Bean and he looks so 'silly-cute' I'm so smittened already 😍)

I exclusively breastfed my baby for 5 months, thereafter, I began to feed him baby cereal, which made him constipated for about 4 days! He just kept going erh..! erh..! (as if trying to defecate) for that few days without any bowel movement. I stopped solid food for a few days, waited for his bowels to be normal while breastfeeding him, and then later began feeding him little servings of fresh mashed bananas and steamed pumpkins as in the above pictures. He loves bananas but somehow was resistant about having another teaspoon of pumpkin.

So, after all the buying, washing, cutting, steaming, blending, storing, reheating and finally cooling the pumpkin puree for his consumption, he ate just ONE teaspoon. The rest end up in the tissue, table, floor, clothes, bib, face, nose, ears, mommy's hands, hair and face (because he keeps blowing out his spit) and wherever else! Thanks bean. But it's a good start, at least.

Don't give up mommy!

And so, the verdict is: this 4-in-one gadget makes baby food making so effortless and way much faster as compared to doing it the traditional way. I only have to fiddle with and wash ONE gadget. Reheating food using steam instead of microwave makes it safer for baby's consumption too. I would have bought this for my first child if I can turn back time. No regrets buying this. It'll be even better if I can reheat or defrost 2 containers at one go, though - since it cannot steam certain foods (small/tiny food e.g. rice) which have to be prepared separately.

Updates: The other day, I bought 3 medium sweet potatoes, cut all of them into 1-2 cm cubes and tried to cook them all at once but I can't! One thing about this gadget is that it cannot process a whole lot of food at one go. So, what I did was I divided the sweet potatoes into 2 groups and processed (steam, blend, feed one portion, store the rest) for the first day, and then process the other group of sweet potatoes the next day. In this way, baby gets to eat fresh for 2 days and then eats the rest on later days. If I want to feed him the same food for that morning and night, I'll just feed him one portion in the morning and then fridge (not freeze) one fresh portion for that night so that baby can eat immediately after a quick steam.

Note too that if food gets too sticky, as for very starchy vegetables like potatoes, you'll have to add water while blending so that it is of a smooth and pourable consistency.

Living With Plantar Fasciitis

2017-04-05T15:19:00.000+08:00

Customised inner soles -
my long-term solution to Plantar Fasciitis

Dear all, let me share with you my PF journey. Hope it helps those of you or anyone around you who have this condition.

What is Plantar Fasciitis (PF)?

In very simple words, PF is the inflammation of the tissue that supports the arch of your foot. Read more here.

What are the symptoms of my PF?

I have frequent painful swelling on the bottom of my foot. It started on my left foot, and subsequently, happened to my right foot too. Usually, I'll leave them alone and they'll subside in a week or two. But on one occasion, it got worse. Until I literally couldn't bring myself to even step onto the ground as it was too painful. Went to the doctor's and was diagnosed with PF.

What caused my PF?

I was a very active person. I run, walk, cycle, dance, swim, and take the stairs frequently. One day, my favorite sports shoe was out of stock and is not in production anymore. The old ones were just so worn out that I have to buy new ones. I tried to find similar ones but they just don't fit well. This is when PF started to kick in. Wearing the new types of sport shoes gave me painful soles.

Other reasons that I suspect contributed to my PF are: ill-fitting insoles of new shoes, my short-long leg (yes, my right leg is almost one inch longer), standing for hours during cooking/preparation of food, heavy weight - carrying my son, groceries, etc.

How did I overcome PF?

I bought customised inner soles for 300 dollars. They scan your sole using their machines and create moulded insoles that only fits you. It's very expensive but it's the only thing that works. I'll just wear them everyday at home until the pain goes away.

How did I live with PF?

As recommended by my doctor (please get advice from your doctor too), I do calf stretches every morning upon waking up to warm them up before I start my day.

I also wear the customised soles and rest my feet whenever PF strikes. I refrain from carrying heavy weights or exerting any large pressure on my soles. And I wear shoes with thicker soles which provides support and cushion. Shoes with very thin soles has no support and allows your feet to hit the ground with full force at every step you take, which may cause or aggravate PF.

Tip: Do not simply throw away your old shoes. Keep the inner soles and replace them in your new shoes if possible. They'll fit like a glove.

My Eye Lasik Surgery

2017-03-03T15:10:00.000+08:00

Freedom from myopia! Conveniences of perfect eyesight!

After a decade as a spectacle and contact lens wearer, I have finally decided to go for laser eye surgery (Lasik) in 2007.

I did this surgery with a stable myopic and astigmatic degree (Left eye, m:225 a:50. Right eye, m:250 a:100)

Now, ten years later in 2017, let me share with you my eye lasik journey - during and after. Enjoy.

In year 2007...

Two weeks prior to the surgery, I have to stop wearing contact lens to 'rest my eyeballs', but this hassle is nothing compared to the perfect eyesight awaiting me.

There wasn't any fear while going through all the pre-surgery check ups until the day of the surgery...

I laid down on the operation bed surrounded by sci-fi looking machines while hubby waited outside. And I thought: Shit, this is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. Someone's going to cut open my eye and I may lose my eyesight forever!

Before I have time to chicken out, my confident and cheery eye surgeon breezed into the room, dripped some numbing eye drops (local anesthesia) and got down to business immediately. Within minutes, all lights were on me, my eyelids were pulled apart by metal clamps to keep my eyes open, and the doctor began the operation.

Surgeon: Okay, now I'm going to cut a flap off your cornea and you'll feel some pressure.

Me: Ok

[I just felt something tugging at my eyeballs with no pain at all.]

Surgeon: Now look straight ahead and don't move your eyeballs. I am now going to start the laser procedure.

Me: Ok

[This is the hardest and scariest part, even though I've been practicing keeping my eyeball still and fixated on looking straight - any mishaps may cause dire consequences. And you know you signed on that document stating "... I understand that all surgery comes with their own risks..." ]

Then, SLIGHT BURNING SMELL... (from the laser on my eye!). I was so scared I prayed. Please... let everything be fine.

Surgeon: OK! Left eye is done! I am now going to put back your cornea flap. Relax and rest a little while now before we move on to the other eye.

Everything repeats for my right eye. The operation merely lasts for 15-20 minutes but it felt like the longest 15 mins of my life.

After that, two plastic eye plates were stuck onto my eye like goggles to protect the corneas from shifting. The most important thing now is to keep my corneas intact until they heal back on its own (around 1 week) and keep my eye area clean and moist with prescribed eye drops to prevent infection.

On the way back home, though my view was blocked by the semi-transparent 'goggles', I blinked and caught some glimpses of perfect vision. 😉

For the next few days, there was constant tearing from eye pain, but it's still bearable. And I returned to the clinic for a few scheduled check ups. Once, I even had an accident whereby my hubby poked into my eye and shifted my cornea. I tried shifting it back with my eyelids closed and prayed for a miracle.

Thankfully, a week or two after that, I felt perfectly okay and have finally got the perfect eyesight. 20/20. 😊

I was lucky to have no complications after the surgery. Like most patients, I only had dry eyes and difficulty seeing at night for the first few months. One of my hubby's friends actually needed re-surgery because of undercorrection and I've overheard another patient getting eye infections.

Ten years later in year 2017...

Ten years on, this is the state of my eyesight:

Left eye: Still perfect eyesight

Right eye: Slight myopia with slight astigmatism. (about 50 degrees each)

My right eye is not as sharp as my left (as in the beginning) but the difference doesn't bother me very much. My sister-in-law who has had the surgery has exactly the same condition. But we're still spectacle-free. I think this condition began to set in during the 5th year and became more obvious in recent years. Perhaps I've spent too much time on computers and ipad?

Now what I need to do is to maintain my current condition for as long as possible. Rest my eyes and look at something far ahead at every few blocks of screen time. If possible, refrain from using gadgets in the dark. If not, at least use a night light and adjust the screen brightness to its lowest.

Conclusion of my eye laser surgery

It was worth it - slightly over $2k plus the surgery risks in exchange for a perfect view everytime I open my eyes for the past 10 years. No more hassles of buying and handling the contact lens, the lens solutions and spectacles.

Absolute convenience and freedom!

Although, my right eye is not perfect anymore but it doesn't matter much yet. Considering my hubby couldn't even have this chance as he has slight glaucoma. A little regret of his life.

Most eye lasik patients will turn out fine but inevitably, some will encounter complications. So weigh your individual pros and cons well before you decide on the eye-lasik surgery. Best of luck to you!

Washing Machine Debate: Front Load Vs Top Load

2017-02-10T15:08:00.000+08:00

My Front Load Washing Machine (cum dryer) with high water efficiency (three ticks)

After decades of using top load washing machine, I have finally switched to a front load washing machine.

Despite all the cons I've read on the web about front load machines, I'd decided that I will truly know whether a top load or a front load is better for me, only if I have tried using both of them.

So here I am, after using the front load machine for the first time, for almost two years, and armed with decades of experience in using top load washing machines, let me present to you the pros and cons of using the front and top load washing machines. At the end of the article, I'll also reveal which one I will choose to use permanently and why it is so.

Pros of using top load washing machine
~ You can add in extra clothings to wash, anytime you want, while the machine is in operation. Great if you forgot or missed a clothing.
~ Easy to use as the normal ones have no fancy cycles (eco cleaning, quick wash, etc.) that you have to bother with. Just put in the detergent and press the Start button. Great for beginners, young children, elderly.
~ There is usually no need to maintain the machine. Just clear out any dirt from the dirt collector.
~ Top load washing machine are much cheaper.

Cons of using top load washing machine
~ Clothings are often twisted and entangled together, making them out of shape and wrinkled. Not suitable for delicate clothings.
~ Clothings are still rather wet, even after drying for longer periods of time.
~ Due to the above reason, it is a must to dry your clothings in the sun or air them for at least a few hours, preferably outdoors. If clothes dry too slowly, they tend to emit unpleasant smell. This also means you, or rather, your clothes are at the mercy of the weather. On every laundry day, you'll pray for no rain and lots of sunlight.
~ Top load machines tend to use a lot of water since water level have to cover all the clothings.

Pros of using front load washing machine
~ Very efficient use of water (see pic below), which means you have to use less detergent too. Great for helping to save the environment. I don't buy special "front load detergents", I just use half of the normal "top load detergents". Note: Clothings does not have to be completely submerged in water like the top load machines, thus saving water and detergent.
~ Clothings do not get tangled up
~ The heating function (60 degrees C) makes clothes drier which cuts down drying time. Indoor drying is usually sufficient and leaves no funny smell. Due to heat, clothes came out with less wrinkles which means less ironing to do.
~ The heat (60 degrees C) also kills dust mites and germs.
~ For my 2-in-1 washing machine and dryer, there is a function of drying the clothings to many levels (it's something like 50% - 100% dryness).
~ You can stack/place/build something on top of machine e.g. a wall-hung cabinet thus making full use of space. For me, I keep it clear so as to collect/place/fold my clothes on it - it's like my laundry workspace.

Cons of using front load washing machine
~ Unable to add on additional clothing once you start the washing cycle.
~ There is a need to maintain the machine about once every 2 months. You'll need to remove debris and dirt and drain off excess trapped water. The machine will prompt you to do that.
~ The washing cycles lasts longer (1hr 40 mins for my machine), although there is a 15 mins quick wash function for a small load of laundry. This will depend on the features of individual machines.
~ Front load washing machine are more expensive. But they are more intelligent and efficient.
~ Need to bend or squat down to access the front door which may be unsuitable for the pregnant and elderly.
~ Small children may have dangerous access to the opening of the machine. I have heard children suffocating while hiding inside during a game of hide and seek. Door cannot be opened from within. But I have also seen accidents while child got stuck inside a top load machine. So, whichever machine you use, accidents can happen, you'll just have to keep your eyes peeled to young children.
~ This is from the internet: Machine giving off unpleasant, mouldy smell after a few months of usage. I didn't encounter this at all. But I probably deterred this by keeping the machine doors and detergent tray opened for at least an hour after the end of every single wash to air the insides dry.

See the red box? Water consumption was greatly reduced from 10.9 units in April to 7.6 units in May 2015, the lowest amount of water usage for the past six months. Notice also the electricity usage did not increase.

My Final Choice: Front Load Washing Machine
I would probably not going to return to using a top load washing machine as the front load machine reduced my water and detergent consumption (thus, less burden to the environment), uses similar amount of electricity, and it churns out drier and straighter clothes (even some doesn't require ironing). But if I have a toddler or very young kid at home (about 0-5 years) I may consider switching back to top load for safety reasons.

Changing Shirt Collars To Mandarin Collars

2017-01-12T13:41:00.000+08:00

It's been really melting hot here in Singapore and all I wanted to wear for an outing is t-shirt and short pants. It's a pity that my beloved button-down shirts haven't been worn for the past few months and are now starting to turn mouldy. This is when an idea popped into my head.

Cut off the collars so that it does not feel as warm wearing them. ;)

You can do this in 4 simple steps:

1. Cut off the collar very carefully, avoiding the mandarin collar part.

Another example...

2. Wash your shirt in the washing machine so as to expose the loose, fraying threads.

3. After the wash, manually use your fingers to pull out any leftover loose thread. Then, cut off the loose threads, preferably in good light.

4. Iron them down, preferably in the V-line style so as to visually elongate your torso, making you look slimmer.

The 'after-shirts'.
They're now much cooler to wear!

Tip: For the fear of destroying your beloved shirts, you may want to start with your least-loved or the cheapest ones. My shirts above are all bought during sales and cost less than $15. And cut with a sharp scissors - slowly. Also, you can use this same method to change a long sleeve shirt into a sleeveless shirt.

My Maternity Checklist For Second Baby

2016-12-15T13:36:00.000+08:00

Pregnancy guidebooks that I've bought six years ago is in good use again

Having given birth before, I have now a little more understanding of what works for me and my baby. So this time, I have worked out a maternity list for my second child which I didn't for my firstborn. Hope this list can help you decide what you want to buy for your pregnancy. Enjoy the list!

PS: Also check out Essential Baby Items Checklist and Hospital Bag Checklist

For Before-birth, I bought/prepared the following:

1. Pregnancy Guidebooks - it's good to be better informed
2. Nursing/breastfeeding Bras - I bought 8 of them in fitting and looser sizes on the 4th month of pregnancy when my breasts swelled up - 4 for outings, 4 for home wear. They are $12 to $20 each.
3. Bra Extender - so you save on buying extra bigger bras.
4. Support Pillows - to support growing belly, aching thighs, hips, back and neck.
5. Stretch Mark Cream - to increase elasticity of your belly skin and reduce discomfort from overstretched skin.
6. Button-down or Zip-down Shirts - great for breastfeeding, no need to buy expensive and frumpy maternity clothes
7. Long Tops and Cardigans - long enough to cover over belly.
8. Stretchy Bottoms
9. Loose Dresses
10. Belly Belt - to extend the waist area of your existing pants, shorts, or skirts - saves lots of money. Can even use way after giving birth - for bloating, bulging belly, beer-belly for men etc.
11. Comfy Shoes - I have one close-toe shoe, one open-toe shoe and one sports shoe for greater support.
12. Ice Popsicle Moulds - I bought 2 from Daiso, $2 each. Helps curb nausea and quench thirst.
13. Mosquito Repellents - to protect yourself and baby from Dengue and Zika virus
14. Protective Mask - for haze periods, deter smoky/smelly air, prevent catching or spreading flu or other virus, esp. when taking care of baby. I bring one in my bag and use it occasionally when I take public transport. Example, when a person near me in the bus keeps coughing or sneezing.
15. Air Purifier with Humidifier - To deter from mosquito bites and stay away from the increasingly poor air quality, we now sleep in an aircon room and thought it would be even better if we can have healthier air to breathe in. The humidifier feature will help keep the air moist, as the aircon air, by itself, can be very dry. Good for people like me who has sensitive nose, dry skin and lips that tend to crack in aircon rooms.

For After-birth, I bought/prepared these:

1. Maternity Pads - For the 6 weeks 'menses' or lochia that occurs after giving birth. Don't buy too much. I only used them for the first 3 days and then switched to normal pads (heavy flow ones) thereafter. Side note: I wear old panties for this period and discard them after my one month confinement. Or you can wear disposable panties if you don't wish to soil your existing ones.
2. Breast Pads - whether or not you are breastfeeding as leaking may occur
3. Nursing Shawl - for privacy while breastfeeding my son, at home (with visitors) or outdoors.
4. Comfy Sleepwear - For lounging at home with baby. I bought a few cheap strappy tank tops with straps that can be easily removed off the shoulders for breastfeeding.
5. Nursing Pillow - To ease your back pain and arm strain and better support your baby while nursing. Update: Initially, I find it too bulky and warm to use in our humid weather. Warm baby, sweaty mommy, plus a bulky pillow, is a very 'heaty' combination! Normal pillow worked well for me. I also used the little support pillows wherever support is needed while nursing the baby. But later, when my baby grew larger when he's around 5 months old (and when mommy is much less sweaty), I find this proper nursing pillow a great aid for nursing. I can finally rest my arms and even read a book or surf the net. It can also provide support for propping up the baby when he's more active and more curious about the surrounding. Best of all, it even can have appropriate toys attached to it (toys included in box) and be used as a support for tummy time among other uses. A 10-in-one pillow indeed (see picture below: ClevaCushion)
6. Nursing Chair - A comfy seat for the endless baby feeds

7. Girdle - To support and tighten belly/womb after giving birth and helps in pregnancy recovery. I bought mine at $9.90 from Giant Supermarket. I've seen $130 ones in other stores though. My hubby and I use it at home as a much-needed back support especially while we are carrying the baby.

8. Sleeping Eye Mask - To help me fall asleep in the day when baby sleeps. Update: I end up not using this as I find it uncomfortable to wear it in our humid weather. I just used a thicker cloth as the window curtain to darken the room when I have the chance to nap in the day. Some people might need this for daytime naps.
9. Protective Mask - I'll wear it when me or baby is sick to prevent passing virus to each other since we spent so much close contact time with each other.
10. Gloves - To protect yourself from touching cold water if you ever need to wash dishes or clothings.

11. Herbal Bath - To reduce wind-chill or dampness. Contains ginger and lemongrass. Bought mine from Kiddy Palace at $8.90 per pack (10 sachets).

12. Pails and Water Scoopers - For the herbal baths

13. Cooking Pot 2-3 litres - To boil herbal soups, herbal bath packs and red date tea.
14. Thermal Flask and Mugs - To store red date tea.
15. Baby music - I've prepared a music list to play lightly in the background during the 24/7 child-caring months ahead. Classicals, jazz, bossa nova, and other golden old songs, e.g. What A Wonderful World. Good for the baby's development and also to relax the sleep-deprived mommy by creating a blissful and cheerful atmosphere with beautiful music.

1. 10-in-1 Nursing Pillow 2. 4 x Sleeping/Home Nursing Bras and 4 x Support/Outing Nursing Bras 3. Bra Extender, Stretch Mark Cream, Washable Protective Mask 4. Girdle 5. Non-DEET Mosquito Repellants (Bio-oil contains lavender and rosemary which can deter mosquitoes) 6. Supportive Office Chair as Nursing Chair. I love the mobility of this chair - can scoot around house to get little things done while nursing :)

With a Belly Belt, I save $$ on buying maternity shorts, pants, and skirts.

My frozen fruit container and ice popsicle mould. You can make all kinds of ice pops. Milo, milk, tea, fruit juice or mashed fruits (banana, kiwi, or papaya milk), yogurt, mixture of them - whatever you fancy :)

Remember: Buy highly-stretchable or oversized tops (sweaters, shirts, blouses, cardigans, tunics). Those that can zip or button down are great for breastfeeding. Also buy waist-stretchable bottoms, leggings, and sports pants or wear your usual shorts/pants/skirt with a Belly-Belt. Prepare comfy and supportive shoes too.

Air Purifier with humidifier which reduces viruses, germs, odors, mould, pollen, dust, pet dander, smoke, and keeps skin and throat moisturized and healthy.

Support Pillows (buck wheat) at $10 each (NTUC, Watsons, street stalls). I used them as 'wedges' and stick them into my back, neck and belly - wherever support is needed during pregnancy. Later, I even use them as support pillows for nursing (e.g. under my thigh or arm) and also used it on my baby as support, protection (from rolling off bed) and security (by putting on baby's tummy). They're really multi-purpose!

Maternity pads with disposable panties. Breast pads ($13.90) with nursing shawl ($15). Comfy sleepwear: Strappy tops (take strap off shoulders to breastfeed), shorts, and eye mask. Herbal bath ($8.90 each, Kiddy Palace) with pail and water scoop. Pot with thermal containers to store red date tea. Hand gloves to prevent touching water during confinement (while washing dishes or laundry).

Baby music: Playlist for my baby. Will play it over bluetooth speakers to create a blissful atmosphere

How To Really Deal With Difficult People?

2016-11-16T16:57:00.000+08:00

We tend to see people we dislike as people with thorns.

Before I share how I deal with difficult people, let me invite you to ponder over the the following two questions.

A. It may sound like an unintuitive question but really, in the very first place, are you, yourself, a very difficult person? Does your family, friends, and colleagues find you easy-going or otherwise? Are you the one who is actually being a difficult person?

B. And think about this: Can it be the case that, perhaps people are not trying to be difficult, they're just different? They think differently from you - which is actually good! Because, if everyone were to think the same way, this world would not have progressed!

If you are sure that the answer to the above two question is a big NO, then perhaps you can use the following guidelines to deal with the difficult people in your life.

1. Everyone has a good side, AND a bad side (no one's perfect, remember?).

To live a happier life, bring out the good side of people.

To live a miserable life, bring out the bad.

You have a conscious choice to either make or break your day/life.

The very first thing you'll have to do is to be nice and polite to everyone no matter how much you think you dislike them. Goodness begets goodness, and you'll eventually bring out people's good side. Trust me, this will lead to many positive outcomes that will amaze you.

2. When you think you've come to a dead end (beset with problems caused by difficult people), ask yourself: What is the best thing I should do now? PS: Do something that will not add on to the problem, or even better, solve the problem itself.

3. If you really, truly, can't be nice, at least be neutral. There's really no positive outcome from being nasty. You see, if you become unpleasant or angry, you'll only raise your blood pressure which will bring you physical illness in the long run. And remember, we're all merely human beings out of 7 billion people in the world. All of us have our very own set of problems and obstacles of daily life. Why do we want to hurt each other more? Just be as normal and as neutral as you can and treat each person like any other fellow human being. Greet them courteously, if possible.

4. Do not despise, condemn, fear, hate, dislike, or be jealous of anyone. Practising all this will only create imbalances and unstableness within your brain (chemically) resulting in stress and headaches. And stress, in the long run, can lead to a whole lot of mental and physical illness. And take these golden words from Sadhguru: Inclusiveness is the ultimate solution to everyone's peace. From my own simple interpretation, it means: to lead a peaceful life, treat everyone like your own kind.

5. Finally, What about those difficult people that you have no choice, but to meet frequently or even on a daily basis? If you simply can't stop your blood from boiling up every time you see them, try this: Desensitise yourself. Meet them, be with them, do not avoid them, until, eventually, you are 'de-sensitized' from their presence. Just see them as and when it's needed until you do not feel so agitated anymore. I used to avoid people I do not like and it only made me miserable, until I tried this. Doing this not only made life easier (no need to avoid anyone), there are times when I actually feel the grudge in me just dissolved into thin air. Just can't force yourself to be nice to them? Then, just be polite and neutral (see point 3).

I am sorry to disappoint you if you think I was going to give you tips and tricks to teach someone a lesson. I believe if that's the case, I am leading you to a more difficult life as there'll be no end to revenges and grudges. My tips stems from creating long-term peace, happiness and good health.

Good Luck!

Why We Are Having Child No. 2

2016-10-31T10:20:00.000+08:00

Painting depicting the big brother tiger (2010)
and little brother monkey (2016)

It's been 8 full months of pregnancy today. As I was gazing at my swelling belly, I think back of the day where hubby and I made the decision to having this second child. This is a life-changing decision that brings anxiety yet great anticipation. Can we handle it well financially and mentally(?) and many other what-if questions swirl around our heads days before we finally come to the final YES!

And so, let me share with you the reasons why and how we decided to have a second child. There are 3 main factors:

SOCIAL PRESSURE

We get frowned upon by relatives and strangers for having just one kid. It seems like we were lazy and selfish and wanted an easier and more extravagant life with just one kid to handle. We were persuaded into having no.2 many times.
When we bring our no.1 boy out to the playgrounds, the other kids have siblings to play with. And our poor boy keeps begging me and his papa to play with him. He also seems so lonely when he plays alone and talks to himself at home.
In school, almost all of his classmates have a brother or a sister - the pressure is real. And he tries to be 'the same' by going around telling people that he also has a brother and sister, who are actually his cousins.

SITUATIONAL FACTORS

At 5 years old, my boy have finally began to sleep through the night without waking up at odd hours to play toys. I may still have to wake him up at about 3am every day for night pees since he is still on diapers, but thankfully, he goes straight back to sleep till morning.
Most probably because of the previous point, I finally get to have a more proper sleep and that my monthly menses are finally starting to become regular, which is, of course, conducive to getting pregnant.
I have also started to regained more energy to exercise (e.g. on a trampoline and walking) and my constipation problem has began to clear up and I feel that I've finally got back my health.
Everything seems to have settled. The housing and domestic issues, financial situation, parental-care and maid issues, are all looking in place. And we are ready to give up many of our material wants, if necessary, if we want another child.

RE-ASSESSMENT OF OUR LIFE

We now have a clearer picture of what we want and how we want to live. We want to live peacefully and simply with a cosy and blissful family life. Hubby will work and I'll take care of domestic stuff and everyone's needs. It seems to be crystal clear that having another child will make everything perfect.

The truth is, just a few years back, hubby and I had vehemently concluded that we'll just have one child for sure. But right now we've actually changed our minds and is even talking about having a 3rd child! Life is indeed unpredictable...

The reasons for us having just one child are straightforward: having a single child means you can focus all your love, energy, and attention on him, and perhaps buy him better gifts, send him to better schools or enrichment courses and bring him to fancier restaurants and more exotic holiday destinations too. Moreover, we cannot assume that having a sibling will definitely bring him more joy. There are siblings that do not really get along.

There are also other deterring factors that we have heard around us. E.g. 1st born problems: not sleeping through the night (my problem too), health problems of child, mother or father, hyperactive child, no suitable childcare arrangements, financial problems, and unstable relationship with spouse or in-laws, etc. Sadly, there are also couples who simply cannot conceive or miscarry. So, it is already a great blessing if one can have a child.

All in all, when it comes to having children, I'll always think of a wise quote:

Do not have children,
Unless you can enhance their lives.