RANTS BY SOBRIA

Mental Adjustment to Radical Ideas

2023-03-11T22:33:00.000+10:00

I wonder if everyone is like me and questions everything if you believe that there are "paid for" scientists and Drs. Most have no trouble believing for example that the election was stolen in 2016, and suddenly now it is not possible for that to happen. Some people have no problem believing that Christians are evil and out to destroy humanity as we know it and that eggs and peanuts are very bad for them.

Every time we turn around there is a new set of rules, a new diet, a new make-over, a new weight loss magic pill, a new piece of equipment to work out at home with, a new yoga class, and a new shiny thing and we read the "fake" reviews on Facebook placed by so many people when you are in the "know" and never heard of this product, but many don't think so critically and buy it, they also never go back to tell everyone what crap it is.

We can't dislike people, things, statements, opinions, or even what we believe are "facts" anymore. There is a team of "straighten the FK up" that will come and pummel you into submission if you dare. Gee, welcome to being "free".

"Fake news" has a new twist, funny because I recall one person coining that phrase, now it's like a law. Fact-check this and fact-check that, and the fact-checkers are so biased it is enough to make you want to scream because they leave out any fact.

Do any of you recall what it was like to say "bejesus"?

Celebrities, life-style influencers, actors, actresses, singers, rappers and anyone else that this applies to

2020-11-13T20:46:00.004+10:00

Firstly, I respect everyone's right to voice their opinion on anything that matters to them. I also have that right and intend on using it on a platform that doesn't really enjoy that. So we will see how I go.

I love Meryl Streep, I think she is just a normal, decent human being, except when she gets political; That is when it is not normal, to use an award ceremony to make crude and mostly untrue, bias opinions and force them out as facts were repugnant. Please understand that the majority of us just want to see you act, to see you in your beautiful dresses, smiling with your beautiful smile. We do not want to see your hatred, nor your bias or political stance.

I also love Charlie Sheen, and I have the same thing to say to you, not one of us will ever change how we vote because you are hateful when you are being political.

I admire and greatly respect Matthew McConaughey because he is just like "whoever is President, it is time to get behind them".

There are so many that have gone completely off the rails, Madonna, Kathy Griffen, Steve Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Caryn Johnson, Katy Perry, Amy Schumer, George Clooney, George Takei, Kate Walsh (who is she again?), John Legend and his wife, Cherilyn Sarkisian, Mac Miller (RIP) Will Smith, Robert DeNiro, Miley Cyrus, and George Martin to name a few. All of you should be aware that you're insulting a lot of your fan base, and you may think that you don't care but when people get riled you will care because you will become like that person that no one wants to have over for tacos or for anything at all. We like your talent, not your nasty opinions. It takes "class" and enough maturity to know when you should just keep it to yourself. You are on full display spouting ignorance, hatred, disgust, and spite because your candidate didn't win and perhaps you really feel that way. Somehow I think you don't feel that way, and that you are pressured to behave in a low-class way that doesn't complement you at all. Kind of like being someone's lackey. I will never understand how so many celebrities, many of which used to love him, say what you say and in some really depraved people do. Politics should not ever be our focus day in and day out and the mainstream media has a lot of culpability in that, but you do too, each and every one of you.

Lifestyle influencers, I know how you come about and how you make money and, to be honest, I do not find it to be in good taste. People with real money do not need you and do not follow you for any reason relating to what you say and do, it's the broken people, the dreamers who follow you, they are the ones who might be lonely, who are struggling, who are searching for who they are, where they belong, they live vicariously through you and you live better and better because of people who can't afford your socks. And most of you are so phony that it's absolute trickery. I think that if you want to influence folks, help them to find their passion, not yours, encourage them to be themselves, and not you, and GENUINELY present your true self.

I like the yoga teachers, the Buddha, Pars Kutay, the Meditative mind channel, the Body/Mind Zone channel, and all those things that strive to bring out the best in me. I also like True crime daily and JCS Criminal Psychology because I also like to learn. I am currently learning about Holistic Counseling.

I don't enjoy being upset, enraged, or aghast at the hypocrisy of the media, the politicians, and social media censorship which is democratically aimed and I do not care how loud they scream that is a lie, because they are and like all criminals, they LIE until they are caught and shown clear, undisputed evidence of their bias and censorship, which results in our freedom to think as we like, to speak our minds, to have balanced information and to comment on that, we are free to hate who we want to, we are free to admire who we want to, and we are free to express that, I mean.....we used to be and we damn well should be. I think that politicians who say that "lists" should be made of supporters of any political party should be removed from office and never see another cent of money from that position. I think that we should be able to sue social media platforms for censoring, suspending accounts, and blocking accounts based on their bias and/or the denial of our rights to free speech. It is time for those companies to be held accountable for their actions.

I am a republican, however, I do not eat it, breathe it, sleep it or live through it. I have pride in my country and I respect all aspects of our laws and rights, I'm sick of seeing them trampled on, and I am tired of hypocrites. The brainwashing the news/social media does and the manifestation imprinted into people being frightened, horrified, angry, hostile, hateful, confused, restricted, broke, struggling, and lost. There is not much of a window to evolve, to feel happiness, to be happy and content, instead they are enduring a long period of high stress which leads to chronic illness.

They proudly video riots, fires, smashed cars, and windows, stealing from stores, screaming and yelling profanity, harassing anyone they please, and actually kill people, but don't you DARE vote in person. Don't you dare go get your hair done or go shopping without a mask, a thin mask that is NOT PROVEN to prevent COVID depending on which scientist you believe? Where I live, we have never had to wear masks and we have NO cases of it and have not for months and the ones we have had were few and many recovered, with several stating that they tested positive but had no symptoms and no illness came from it. (update) Later that increased and deaths were happening, so masks were required at Dr's offices and shopping centers.

I do not believe in defunding the police, but I do believe that things have gone too far, and no one should be able to pop a bullet in someone's head instead of their knees for fear of lawsuits (dead men can't sue) and perhaps laws must change so that if you are engaged in the commission of a violent felony and you have been shot anywhere on your body to disable you, in no way can you sue. Of course, if this person is armed or believed to be, then the police have no choice but to kill you? Training can't help them negotiate a shooter without shooting back. That is a choice you made when you decided to become a dangerous violent felon. I think the Police are not recognized as being regular human beings who also experience fear and panic in the situations presented before them and some common compassion is needed for them. It is not your life that is in danger when they are risking theirs to save someone else. I also see police brutality and overuse of force, and those who do this should be charged the same as you or I.

I want less government, I don't think they have any business in our healthcare, and it sickens me that they have that control. If they want that control, butt out and get onto legislation to cap insurance costs while demanding certain coverages, and the same with prescription costs. If they want to help, stick their beaks in that area. The insurance companies and pharmacy companies flog the shit out of us any way they can and provide very low-quality service and healthcare plans for a lot of money. If I go see my Dr and he prescribes a medication that shouldn't cost me $50.00 for what those plans cost. It should cost me NOTHING or under $15.00 for BOTH. If I have to have surgery, it should be covered 100%.

and there is NO reason it can't be, except that you are led to believe it is impossible, it is not. They have made billions off that kind of ignorance. If you don't buy that, how do they pay multiple pharmaceutical sales reps over 100k a year plus bonuses? And heavily fund select political candidates?

I prefer laws to protect babies - up to the time of birth- from being killed while they experience the same pain they would if a mother beat them to death after birth, of which most would be screaming for her to hang, yet as long as it did not pass the birth canal before torture most democrats are fine with that, I am NOT. You have a responsibility to take care of your body and that includes not getting pregnant when you aren't ready to be a mother. I am not against abortion and I detest the statement "you are either for it or not!". Don't tell me what I think, thank you. I think there are circumstances but that procedure should be handled within 8 weeks and if you are being responsible for your body that can be accomplished. Cotton wool is for Q-tips.

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a6129330/celebrities-react-hate-tweets-donald-trump/

They are out of touch

2020-11-13T17:36:00.029+10:00

<Person

24 minutes ago (edited)

3:16:44 Again with accusing the Attorney General Barr of being a Trump Puppet because he is permitting a voter investigation - it is based on the sworn affidavits by American citizens, are you forgetting who you represent when you make statements about American Citizens and accusing them of being baseless and frauds. Are you serious?  Are you THAT demented that you believe that? Are you NOT wondering how in the hell Mr. Biden who did not campaign much, had small crowds, but a shit ton of money, somehow ended up having more votes than Obama? That he somehow had the most votes of any President in HISTORY? That with his son's Laptop tying to him to treason he got all that? Also with arrests made of voter fraud where one woman alone filed over 175 illegal votes for Biden?  That with the anti-fracking policy that all those who rely on fossil fuels for work voted for him? That with his constant uncomfortable groping of women and children that many mothers, grandmothers and 18 year-olds would all vote for him? That with his inability to even know where he is, or what position he is running for that people will offer a sympathy vote?  As much as Trump has annoyed me, especially with his barbaric and heartless immigration policy (money before family reunification) and the fact that he has not done enough for social security, the elderly, health insurance - including the premiums offered versus the services they will provide, and the cost of prescription drugs, knowing beforehand is not good enough! Significantly LOWERING these costs while keeping a good insurance policy is long overdue. If he thinks it is good enough, perhaps he should have to carry that insurance along with everyone in congress, the senate and the house of representatives, now even with all that, his accomplishments has put the United States back on the map and the first that have been accomplished are second to none, the stock market, producing our own oil and steel, and record low unemployment and prison reform. No one can or should ever blame a sitting President for an unknown virus entering the country and causing so much damage, to assert he did nothing is lying through your teeth, he closed the borders and was mocked relentlessly for it as being a racist and bigot and now a few of you have the audacity to say he did not act fast enough and those deaths are on him..and you are full of crap. The Governor of New York put COVID patients in with the MOST vulnerable and killed them, and he has had the audacity to write a book on how well he handled it?  If it is his policy to keep the country open, that is the right thing to do as many countries and states have and did not suffer as much as just New York. The country right now would not be starving for work and businesses. Keep the vulnerable home, let the others work. But it is too late for that. You praise rioters and looters and tell a salon to close. Give me a break, I know many of us aren't as important as you think you are, but we are not dumb. I respect your right to your opinions but in a judiciary hearing those are dangerous and inflammatory comments and some of you calling Mr. Biden the President-Elect knowing full well he is not and permitting him to have contact with foreign leaders beyond "congratulations", though I do not know for what as he has not been officially elected, that said, he should not have any contact with Foreign leaders and should NOT be discussing ANYTHING with them as he is NOT yet the President of the United States. I do not understand how people in your positions and with your power and authority say the things you do (what I have pointed out) and in the way that you do. I had no idea that some of you are not even aware that the United States of America is in-fact a Constitutional Republic.

<Person1 second ago

The Statement made by the Former Deputy FBI director at 3:16:42 I agree with when someone is being that secretive about contact with foreign nations and it is a 4-star General to boot would raise concerns. If I were doing that job, I would be VERY concerned, to be honest.

16 minutes ago (edited)

Senator Klobuchar, it is my understanding the election is incomplete, and Mr. Biden is not the President-Elect as I pointed out earlier due to the FACT the current sitting President has not conceded the election - The American people have spoken and therefore those votes will be counted, also we will be removing those made by dead people and invalids and those who voted over 50 times. That is all accurate information and you can fact-check that. Those of us watching this have a clear understanding of when this occurred by knowing through the press at the time and the testimony provided. I understand that many people in power believe that we are rather stupid, ignorant, and possibly so confused by big words that we don't know what the fk we are watching...P.S. We are a CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC. I will have to move on from you as you look like a happy and wonderful person even though you insist on stating non-acts as facts (Fast forward)

20 minutes ago (edited)

I just caught something, in the Former FBI director's statement at 3:16 or thereabout he stated that "a long and extensive effort trying to "prove" the many allegations in the steel reporting. Why would you be "trying to PROVE" these allegations versus simply investigating the allegations??  That is one hell of a statement to admit the focus was to PROVE the allegations. I am very sorry you were fired, it is obvious to me that you are not a liar.

1 second ago

Mr. Whitehouse you can submit a tip to the FBI https://www.fbi.gov/tips

1 hour ago (edited)

I'm sorry Mr. Whitehouse it has been alleged that there is evidence of Biden's connections to China on a laptop the FBI has had for a year or more and the public only found out about it because of the store owner, NOT an investigation into it by the FBI - When the FBI investigated the Trump campaign it was national news and they ensured everyone knew, but this laptop seems to be "top secret" and does not appear to be being investigated. So with all due respect, Trump's statements echo the sentiments of many Americans and therefore are not merely frivolous accusations. To be clear, I am not either a big Trump supporter or a Biden supporter, and in the same breath do not detest either man. What I like to be is fair and I do lean toward the underdog for reasons that are clear and obvious when the FBI doesn't investigate and prosecute high-profile political democrats; when the news channels will not speak of any accomplishment without the added insult of the sitting President; when the Speaker of the house calls him a racist - bigot -etc and rips his state of the union address behind him as he speaks, those things tell intelligent Americans (and other nationalities around the globe)  that something very fishy is happening and it is NOT that the sitting president is evil, but something much deeper. Lastly, Biden is NOT yet the President-elect, the current President would need to concede for him to be considered as such.

<Person 1 second ago

If I may interrupt Mr. Whitehouse (lol) Contacts are NOT  valid reasons to IGNORE intelligence from the CIA and had they actually investigated I am certain the CIA would have given them the list of contacts they had that alerted them to the issue. When you shrug information off, from a credible source such as the CIA, you aren't going to get "contacts" now are you?  Carry on.

1 minute ago (edited)

Attorney General Barr implemented that permission based on legal fact and you are aware of that and are misleading in your statements. There are signed affidavits outlining fraud or are you simply making a statement without the facts? While you say "the American People" like you care in one breath, in another you are stating that their statements are baseless and just Trump supporters as if they have a disease. That is not very American.

2 hours ago (edited)

Mr. Durbin, you are well aware that the policy at the border was implemented by Obama and Trump put an end to it. You are also well aware that your party is 100% for removing an otherwise healthy baby boy or girl from its mother's womb just before birth to abort it;  If it does NOT die that horrific death during that abhorrent procedure, it is left to suffer and die on a steel table. Kindly shut your mouth about the "fake sympathy" regarding the separation of children BECAUSE I can not think of a more harmful and painful way than the separation from one's mother by being ripped limb by limb from the womb.

Your Forced Positivity Is Making Me Nauseous

2020-10-09T10:45:00.002+10:00

Your forced positivity is making us all feel negative.

When you delete your friends because

They are having problems and you block them
When your family member or friend is struggling with addiction or some other form of illness and you ignore them because they aren't being positive
When you criticize someone for feeling upset, angry, and or sad
When you constantly tell others "just try being positive"

And when you refer to everyone as toxic, negative, or otherwise beneath your "awakened ass" You are the negative one. The toxic ones and the "normal" people living life as it comes, enjoying the experiences of what it is to live, and even the sad, times, hard times, and miserable times, they are doing what all of us do, live in the moment and actually go through and deal with what comes there way, instead of masking it and pretending that everything is "positive" so you can be so " positive'.

That is not the reality of life, it is not what life is meant to be either. No one is going to reach complete "spiritual" bliss until they are deceased. Life is about learning, growing, experiencing "everything" and finding the solutions, the path, and the best way for them to bring happiness again, even when there are some background noise and drama.

Of course, I am not implying that we shouldn't find the lessons in situations or see if we can't find an upside to something, but we first go through the natural emotions of what has occurred. That is being human.

People go through things in life and as a friend or loved one, it is the strongest, the most loving, loyal, and emphatic people that stand by them and help them through it. Honestly, it IS the weak ones that can't be there for them because it's too toxic and negative, and they don't have the strength, loyalty, or empathy to do it.

I know, there are people, whether we love them or just like them that are constantly mean, negative, and really toxic person - examples I can think of are:

Always putting you down
Always judging you and others in a bad way
Always borrowing and never returning - and sometimes even if they do return, always borrowing is taking advantage of you
Always ignoring you unless they need or want something
Avoiding you while pretending to like you
Dismissing your feelings and problems

Just my thoughts, no need to take them to heart;_

~Sobria~

My Body, My Choice

2020-02-11T10:32:00.000+10:00

My Body, My Choice

Indeed it is! You have the right to choose to be responsible for your body and for your lifestyle. You can choose to take birth control and you can choose to be abstinent. You can also choose to be morally accountable for your decisions that could affect your body.

Your Responsibility – Your life

My body, my choice is not even implying, it is stating if I want to kill my child, I will. Yes, it is your body and you have a DUTY to be responsible. You have a duty to be a loving, caring, and kind adult who chooses to live her life in a way that she doesn’t get pregnant when she doesn’t want to be.

Accountability

“My Body, My Choice” is probably one of the most entitled things I have read. It’s as if you are deciding if you will have the coffee or cappuccino, there is no emotion in those words, just a simple decision. It is hard for me to believe that we have become grown women who shrug off our own responsibility and accountability. Abortion is an inhumane option- period. What happened to the days when we took precautions instead of shrugging and flatly stating “it’s my body and my choice.” Perhaps it is time that we are provided with a bill for cremation or burial for that aborted baby, but you won’t and you probably never wonder why.

Elective Termination without Medical reason

I know that many women never make or come to this decision easily at all, and I have to say no matter how hard the decision to have an abortion does not and will never make it the right decision. Many women, however, do arrive at the decision easily, those are always the ones who are using abortion as birth control. Join any pro-abortion group and you will see some really vile, heartless, and cold comments about “killing my baby if I want to”. That is admitting it is a baby, Some prefer to use the term “embryo” and others use “fetus” as if that makes it any less of life growing.

No matter what term you are using, if it is not due to incest, rape or a medical reason, you are intentionally killing your child because you think you don’t have to be responsible, you are somehow entitled to kill your baby. Even if you are upset on the way to the clinic or doctors, you still followed through..right?

Adoption

Always an option. The argument that there are enough unwanted kids in foster care doesn’t apply here. Adopted babies are given to the adoptive parents upon birth.

The children in foster care are children who’ve been removed from their homes.

Sobria

Author

Admins of facebook groups

2017-11-06T12:55:00.000+10:00

Have you ever noticed that an admin of any group on Facebook believes that somehow they have become king or queen of an entire country? I have.

Examples I have seen are a disturbing trend amongst those with self-esteem issues lower than the roots of a thirty-year-old tree.

Of course, we also see this with comments on news stories, especially if President Donald Trump is the subject. It's pretty embarrassing to see people acting like a bunch of angry mongrels. In fact, anything regarding the President and any defense of him comes with backlash and the reason is simple, ego and brain bleeding. Just my humble opinion. If you believe everything that a far right or left wing news agency prints, you are fairly stupid. We have a once respected newspaper writing "opinion" pieces that are heavily democratic in opinion, no in-between. Most people read these opinion propaganda and believe it is actual news because of the paper that is spewing it. Wake up for the love all things sacred. Now we also have the flip side, where pro POTUS also slants things to a point in which it is inaccurate.

Back to the point of my post here -

No one rules you and no one should, it is up to you see something and question it, especially behavior...or stories that seem particularly slanted.

You do not NEED to be in a group or on a page, they need you and the more people that leave it due to seeing abuse and snarky behavior, the more they will have to pipe down and realize who's really in charge. If you witness the unfair treatment of another member, leave the group, if you like it, start your own and remember you are not a King or a Queen just a humble person who expects others to treat members with honesty, dignity, and kindness. It really isn't that hard, unless one's ego is far bigger than they are and that is always the case.

I have seen other members behave in a bullying and demeaning type of way in many groups I have been in, I leave them!! I will not give a page or group numbers who allow such abuse to go unchecked. Most times though, it is an admin.

The all mighty GOD of a page or group that say "this is MY group or MY page"...yeah idiot, we know and you need members so....have a cup of shutty. Funny, because it cost them nothing to create and it costs them nothing to run except internet. NO one has ever purchased an internet plan to run a page or group, again, shut up. Also, Facebook owns that page, it is on their site, they didn't purchase anything.

Oh, and the rules....so fun!! Many are "you can't share the content of this page"...Really? Why not? Is it illegal content? Where did you get the content from and then share it on your page or in your group? How about "you can not delete a comment!" Oh, so if someone accidentally tags a friend on a post, when said friend is not in group or page, you must leave it or .....be BANNED!!!! The horror!!!

Or, you must post all photos one at a time, and others, you must put all photos in an album or be called stupid, and BANNED!!!!!

How about the groups that think they are elite? You know the ones...secret groups that are created by one country to criticize the citizens of another country that they moved to!! YES, these exist and IF you ever dare question them, guess what? You are messaged to be told you are not welcome said group and BANNED! That actually happened to me. Ask me how much I care! I do not. I think anyone who moves to another country and I do not care why, should embrace the culture, food, people and way of life. NOT create a group that specifically bans people from the said country and goes about whinging and whining about everything that has to do with the country. It is pathetic and it is negative. There is no power of positivity in looking for things and people to hate.

If you are a humble, kind, and have integrity, leave any type of page like that and make your own, in doing so you are taking a small step to add more light and more positivity to the lives of those who visit it.

Sobria.

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Facebook Mom

2014-10-08T13:18:00.003+10:00

I am seeing this more and more and it is really grating at my last nerve!

I don't mind of course seeing a mom post to their child's wall "dinner is ready", though I admit I don't like seeing it a lot, it isn't as bothersome as a lot of other things I do see.

How about those moms who carry on and on and on at how much they love their child, hold discussions with them about personal things on Facebook. I see something very disturbing about this when these two are in the same house!

Is it not possible to love your child off of Facebook or tell them off of Facebook? Why is so important that everyone think you're a stellar mom - on Facebook? If you can't hop off your computer and talk to your child when the child posts he doesn't want to even live anymore, you aren't a stellar mom, you're ignorant and a terrible mother, in my opinion. This "mom" posts his wall back saying "don't say things like that honey. I love you to the moon and back." How about you get up off your ass and go to that child, he is in the same house! How about you not engaging in drinking with that child when he isn't even of age? I saw that post too. And the Mother of the year award goes to..not her or anyone like her.

I guess that goes in line with those who have perfect lives on social media, always had a great day, with great friends, and had great food...or they are off to vacation, again!! Perhaps it's the photos of the new car, the new house, or the numerous happy snaps. It seems that people don't go anywhere or do anything without planning the pictures to post on Facebook. How about those moms and dads who can't even take their child to the park without being on Facebook, taking 30 photos, of all the same thing, and posting them. Or the young girls taking the half-naked bathroom selfies, protruding those duck lips...or the boys, shirtless in the bathroom, flexing but trying to look like they're not. There is always the "group" of people that must post pics and statutes about everything that they are doing, but only if it is fun.

Facebook moms really irritate me. Yes, I tell my kids I love them on Facebook, but they don't live with me, they're adults, I don't however make a big habit of it. Instead, I call them or private message them to have a conversation. I think that is appropriate. I kid around with them on Facebook, keeping it light and easy, no need for the intimate details of who we are as people and as a family to be public knowledge. That is the way I see it. I'm not talking about your child graduating from any school and you not being over the moon and expressing it! Nor am I talking about being happy and proud over an achievement they've done. Those ARE the reasons to express your love, pride, and excitement for them.

For the rest of it, I guess what bugs me is the intent behind it, intentional or not...it's too look like your life is oh so much better than most..and when you see you are doing that or someone actually points it out by saying something like "wow, you have a wonderful family life, is everything always so perfect and loving?" That is when you'll throw in a status - "I just received my electric bill, I can't believe the increase!!!!!!!!! At first, I thought it might be a faulty appliance causing it, but remembered, that is not possible, all of my appliances are brand new, I guess I'll just have to cut my vacation back from 10 days to 7 days in order to pay it. :-( Life can be so unfair!" <-----still will NOT concede that life isn't perfect everyday..lol Trust me when I tell you, I know these people, they're obviously on my friend's list, life is far from perfect ...yet for some idiotic reason they live and breathe for making people think it is. I don't get it.

Perhaps I should not feel irritated, annoyed, or nerve-wracked by it, but instead pity them..but I've never been one to just dole out pity to anyone for any reason..

I don't see that changing.

~Sobria~

You canFollow me by clicking here.

broken family

2013-12-06T20:30:00.001+10:00

A death in the family should bring people closer together, not rip the family further apart. While my family is quite divided, I would have thought this terrible tragedy would have brought about resolve, peace, and love as we all struggle to deal with the loss. I was wrong --

It's been a nightmare that started when I learned my youngest brother had been killed. He was walking to an appointment and the driver of the car was blinded by the sun and struck him and killed him instantly. It was an accident and very unfortunate. I'm not overly angry with the driver, though on that road, anyone who drives it in the morning knows the sun rises in the East, he was driving headed east, his sunglasses should have been already on..but focusing on that is laying blame and that is not what this is about.

After finding out, it didn't get any better..

I have a particular niece who loves to argue, lie and stir trouble. She is addicted to attention, be it good, bad or indifferent and she absolutely hates me. Mainly, I feel, because I have called her out on the lies about her mother and everything else she can think of and set her straight with the truth. Naturally, she does not like that, it embarrasses her and makes her look bad in front of the friends she is trying to impress or gain attention from. She doesn't like me and the feeling is mutual, especially when I know I couldn't trust her with an eraser, not because she'd steal it, but because she would try to use it to erase the truth, facts and distort reality. At any rate, she will take any opportunity to say something snotty and insulting to me, on the internet of course. Face to face she is as nice as warm apple pie. She did this the day after my brother was killed. Albeit I was, in fact, having a go at my brothers ex, who I'll call "cat," who had left him numerous times and only a few days prior to his death, left him again, and he found out for someone else, she refused to answer his calls or text messages as to why but he found out through mutual friends. As she posted his Facebook wall numerous times saying how much she loved and missed him, I became increasingly annoyed and finally asked her to please stop! That's when the argument started, not with her, but with the niece, then the sister gets in on it, though she started off abrasive she toned it down, but it went from there, my nephew even commented a few times but nothing insulting to me. Eventually, it calmed, but not for a while and not even when another family member commented that it was all embarrassing. It was unnecessary for the niece to stick her nose in, to defend someone she never even met the person. I was directing my words to that someone I did know and had met A for my niece, my brother had not much use for her and said as much many times for the same reasons I don't. So it wasn't about anything other than her seeing an opportunity to say things, many things that were unkind, unwelcome, vulgar and rude.

Then..there was the ex-family member, I'll call "Bea" who doesn't like Cat either but really hates the ex prior to that one who I'll call "Mabel, "who I get along with because I have that right. Also, there was not a lot of bad blood between my brother and her considering she visited him and even stayed in his house for a few months, all platonic. Naturally, none of those things are going to make this person like her, respect her or even want to tolerate her and yes, she does have valid reasons, but that is HER, not me nor my mom or anyone else. Obviously, they do not like one another and that is between them. When the ex-girlfriend, Mabel, wrote on a photo of my brother that she had some pictures for his kids and would bring them to the funeral, I simply replied with "thank you". I quickly got an email from Bea stating that no one is to give her children anything without her permission and that the boys didn't even want to see her, it would be too upsetting for them, naming reasons that seemed to be more from her mouth than theirs. These children are early teens and had a relationship with Mabel as she lived with their dad just two years prior to his death. Further to that, I should have told to her to "f-off," where was my temper? etc. I cannot be bullied like that or manipulated to be cross with someone who made a kind gesture. Bea was insulted because Mabel bypassed her and spoke to me when Bea and I were talking on the photo. I understand that being insulting, however, they did not get along, why then would Mabel write directly to Bea? She wouldn't, not would I in that situation. This is years of bad blood, further, in my opinion, don't yell at me about it, go tell Mabel what you think, if you in-fact feel that offended and you want to say something vulgar to her..you do it. When the argument with Bea started it was to do with this issue, where she told me that if I didn't want to, I should have just told her to do it herself. While I am thinking, I shouldn't have to, I should not have been asked to do it, to begin with. I'm an adult, I am not in high school and I don't do anyone's bidding for them as no one does mine either. Why should I make enemies, soothe someone else's ego? I don't think that I should. I like to pick and choose my battles and I don't go after folks who are friends of mine no matter who doesn't like them. I will say this, while I sympathize with Mabel, and on a one to one level with her, we get along, I don't like a lot of things that went on her relationship with my brother, and yes, sometimes those things affected me very much, but it was their business and not mine. Would I have wanted my brother back with her? No, but only because of their past and the inability to ever get along among other things, no more than I did his recent ex. But that is not my call NOR is it my business. If my brother was happy? I was happy. This did not go well with Bea who had been saying she loved me and I saying I loved her too for years...and the tension grew, then it mushroomed into more things I did that made her angry, things I didn't even know she was mad at me for. I explained to Bea that I emailed Mabel and asked her to just put the photos in an envelope and leave them on the tray, say good-bye to my brother and please be on her way, she knew why and she promised me she would comply. I also explained to Bea that I would not email Cat, as my disgust with her would not allow it. At that time, I began getting berated for my dislike of one and not the other, that is what it boiled down to. But using the children's feelings as reasons for me being wrong. I finally came out with what was on my mind and explained I really felt that she was using the children (teenagers) as an excuse for her own agenda and I still do feel that way...I could be wrong but I don't think I am. Even if I am wrong, I am not wrong for how I feel, how I act, yes, how I feel? I don't think so. It snowballed from there to being accused of making her look like an asshole over my brother's ashes. The story with that is that I was told what would be done with his ashes and who was controlling that decision. I did not like the idea at all and I asked Bea what her opinion was, she didn't either and mentioned perhaps her kids would like to have them, she did not know. So I took the initiative and called my mom and mentioned this conversation and she said, you know? You are right, they should be asked. My head has been in such a fog, it didn't even occur to me. I called mom back a few hours later to see if anything had been accomplished, she told me that the kids would be offered. I was so happy and told Bea, by then she had spoken with her kids and they were quite happy with the original plan, so it would stay as it was, but at least, to me...they were asked what they wanted.

Suddenly, I am a bad person for doing that as I made Bea look like an asshole. I don't get it?

Then I was a shit-stirrer and then a bitch, and so on. It became all too much for me, I am grieving the loss of my brother, so I simply advised her that I loved her and I am here for her and the kids, as I always have been but I refuse to do this anymore, it had been 2 hours of me defending myself, explaining myself and I was getting nowhere. So, a 15-year relationship is down the tubes and I feel mainly because I would not tell someone she hates to F-off. I suppose it was a relationship much more superficial than I ever thought, which makes me sad.

Over the week of my brother's death, I think I had fights with 3 people all except one was a family member, all the while grieving. It is so sad, even though I did actually start one of them, with Cat. I know that she knew she'd get a reaction, it's what she did with my brother, be an instigator to get a fight, well I'm not sorry a bit because as I see it...I beat her at her own game and how do I know? I woke to an email from her on the day of my brother's wake that read "your brother didn't even like you, so f-off". Well, if that doesn't say she tried to hurt me deep nothing does! I am unaffected, my brother and I had a good relationship and there is nothing she can say to change that. One has to wonder though, what kind of person does that? A mean spirited, hateful person is my guess.

I must come to realize that this family is broken and it is no longer up to me to try and salvage it. If you can't gather willing participants, it is broken and that is how it shall stay. That is so depressing, thank goodness for good friends and a wonderful husband and other members of the family who love me dearly as I do them.

Take care and have a wonderful holiday season.

Sabria.

Is it a mirage?

2012-07-19T09:46:00.002+10:00

PEOPLE ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY SEEM..ARE THEY?

Some times, it is as if I am listening to a wood chipper right next to my ear, chipping away at branches as I sit wincing at that screeching grinding noise that accompanies it.

It makes me very uncomfortable and suspicious when someone will tell me all about how horrible a friends child is, a child that is so horrible, they would like to put their hands around the child's neck and choke it..while they tell me this, they stand up, assume position, bent over far enough to reach a child, while their face is showing anger and hatred, their hands are making the motions..then go on to say that "but the mother is such a good friend, she just lets that little brat get away with everything and makes excuses for every nasty thing she does, I swear that child is evil."

As I am witness to this, I sit there well aware said person would never do such a thing. It was a way in which to express her absolute frustration with a situation there is no control over. STILL..when you later hear this person complaining about the neighboring dogs barking early in the morning and stating that if said dogs keep it up, said person will kill them by throwing rocks at them..I have to wonder is this person for real or just accustomed to speaking so violently when it comes to things she does not like or gets overly frustrated with. I don't have the absolute answer to that. I can only say:

These are just bad habits to me..and I believe that is all they are, habits..and yes, I do believe people can pick these up if that is how they were raised for example or in the process of growing up; Maybe it was how all their friends were, or maybe just one and this person was impressed by the theatrics and the tough act that went along with it..you never know how someones life was and why as adults they say and do things that are really "out there." I do not believe this person would maliciously harm any child or animal..even though it seemed as if said person would..I do not believe for a minute that it ever would. If I did, I would have reported the confessions to the authorities.

Sometimes, I believe we are all so quick to judge others based upon what sets well with us. I have seen pages on Facebook about animals where people day in and day out verbally abuse people who have had to part with their pet, who have posted photos of a child in a crate with a caption saying "you wouldn't let your kids live this way, don't let your dog live this way". Who have written there is "a special place in hell" for dog and cat owners who leave their pet at a shelter and so on. I do not comment on such things because it would be WW3. I believe that an owner should seek out a rescue and I believe crates are great for puppies and dogs, they are after all, den animals..no I don't think they should live in them, but they are great for them to sleep in. For being such "dog experts" and I use that term loosely, they obviously don't understand dogs are pack animals, and no dog, no matter it's size should ever be permitted in your bed. While it does not mean they have to sleep in a crate either Just my silly little opinion.

My point is, we all don't "know it all", while there are experts on every matter..tried and true is what I listen to..and they are by experts with years of education and training and proof to back up the advise they give. It's like asking my non-surgeon neighbor how to perform a c-section and then stating it as fact and now believing I know how to perform one. Just an example. I think much of the time some people just want to be important and to be heard, they want their opinion to be valued and authenticated and these pages give them that..at least in part. I also believe the same for those the write blogs, myself included. I have no idea how my blogs come across, I do not know if they make me important, but they sure do give me a way to vent, to explain, and to open my mind up to those who read it.

~SOBRIA~

Life ends...

2012-03-05T08:14:00.001+10:00

Sad news..My husbands mother did pass away, as did his Nana the week before. It has been a very trying time for him and his entire family.

I met his Nan in 2005. She was a sweet, little lady with a lot of energy. She played bingo everyday, ate like a horse at dinner and helped with all the cleaning up. She presented herself as the lady that she was. She dressed nice, wore a bit of make up and wore her jewelry. I adored her. It was sad when she passed..she had a sudden heart attack and though they tried with surgery to save her, it was her time. She will be missed by many, myself included.

I also met my husbands mom in 2005. She was always full of life and when she laughed, her whole face showed it. She was, as a scorpion, a spit fire as well!! Outspoken, true to her word and loved her children and grandchildren very much. She was generous and she was grateful. In 2007 we had her over to our house for 2 weeks for a visit, that was when I got to know her best. I enjoyed those days and nights spending time with her and getting to know her better. It was sad to see her go back home, but before she did, she told my husband something that has stayed with me since, she said "That was the first time that I have felt comfortable in anyone's home, I enjoyed myself". That meant a lot to me, considering 4 of those days she spent in the hospital with pneumonia. I tried very hard to ensure she was comfortable and that she had her meals on time, being a diabetic, that was very important. In 2009 her health began failing, she was in and out of the hospital a few times. I believe being a diabetic contributed to some of the issues that were going on. As her health waned, she was eventually deemed unable to care for herself in her own home and had to be placed in a care facility. Her needs went beyond what one or two untrained people could do. In recent weeks, she had stopped eating and drinking, while they tried a feeding tube, she pulled it out. Eventually, they did her back on track and then her mom died. The family had to tell her about her moms passing because they were worried a visitor might, and that is not the way for her to have found out her mother had died. She died in less than week of finding out. I do hope she is at a peaceful rest now. I believe that she had taken all the hurt, pain and losses she could. Her husband died in 2003, then her partner who she had met in 2005 died in 2008, and her mom in 2012. From past experience in dealing with a family member (from a past marriage) who endured a leg amputation after her husband died, I can say that losing their dignity is awfully hard on them. While there is always the "will to live", surly does not mean at any cost. The elderly, sick and injured, should be treated with the utmost respect and great care taken to help them maintain their dignity and keep their pride intact. I could not imagine going through such an ordeal with or without the grieving process of losing someone I love.

Looking back on the many people who have died before me, whether they died young or old..it reminds me that life is so precious, it so delicate and it is not guaranteed for tomorrow. With that in mind, I beg you to live your life to fullest, love one another, be kind to one another and be kind to yourself. Laugh as loud as you'd like, smile as widely as you can..and when you pass on, know that people will remember you for who you were..not what you owned, not what political party you were in, not for anything but the way YOU made them FEEL.

My husband and I plan to prepare for our own death, by picking out the music we want played, photos we'd like to be displayed and maybe even write down our thought for our our own eulogy, put it all on a memory stick and give to our attorney with our will.

I'll be back to ranting real soon!!

Much love,

Sobria.

Blessings

2012-01-27T18:39:00.000+10:00

There are so many blessings in our lives, but sometimes we choose to not look at them, be thankful for them or acknowledge them. I understand that most times it is because our problems and stresses can overtake our mind and be set as a priority...but if you ask me, that is a huge mistake!

I heard a saying many years ago, you get what you give..and while I am sure that is not always true..for the most part, it is. If you always be thankful for the little things, you will find, I believe, that life is much easier to get through. When we focus solely on the negative aspects, which is easy to do with so many world issues and so many people without work, we become negative..which may attract negative energy; obviously what I am getting at is the opposite holds true.

I have been really depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I am in another country, very far away from my family and friends..Most of the people I have met here are shallow and self absorbed..not all, but almost all. It does not set well with my sense of fairness and my natural need for harmony and peace..So, I have been pondering home, the familiar and those that I know and love, who are not shallow and self absorbed. These bouts of being homesick are not easy to get through, they are so turbulent, I feel a need to leave NOW, not later, and..I can't. I must remind myself why I moved here to begin with..but none of that has worked out..some of it my fault and most of it "just the way the cookie crumbles". While I love this country and I love the friends I have made, as well as the family I have met..but ultimately, it is not my family and it has been made (gently) clear by them on a few occasions. Sometimes, I think moving so far was a lesson..to not take for granted the family you have and the friendships you've maintained for over 25 years. Though, new experiences and new friends have also been a wonderful experience..except when they went sour. I do have one friend here who I treasure..but she too... is far away from me.

I do feel discouraged at times when it is always me telling family and friends "I miss you and love you"..when I do not get in return...It makes me wonder, am I missed as much? Am I loved as much? I have thought about the idea of stopping myself from doing it to see if anyone writes that to me...yet, I can NOT because that would be denying them my love (from afar) and the possible joy of knowing that someone who loves them, also misses them.

The blessings in which this post is about is to be thankful for your past, present and hopes for the future. I am grateful for the internet, Skype and tinychat..I have been able to talk to my family and friends for hours, for free..I can see them and hear their voice, as they can see me and hear mine. It makes home seem not so far..and it helps me sleep so peacefully knowing I have connected with them on that level.

I feel blessed for food on our table, a roof over heads, the good health of all my children, husband, siblings, my parents and friends..Though I am saddened that my mother in law is not doing so well..I hope that they (The doctors) are able to get her back on track. I'm grateful she the care of a medical facility and good doctors.

I feel blessed that I have compassion and empathy, it seems to me that not many do. So many or driven by lust and money..they forget or do not even think about those that are destroyed in the crossfire. So many abuse a child or an innocent animal to feel powerful, because inside they feel so weak - or are mentally destroyed. What the excuses are do not concern me as much as the harm. WE all know right from wrong and they do too, otherwise they would not try to hide it and conceal it.

I am blessed because I feel, because I think, because I care and because one day I know, being positive about my circumstances will bring good things into my life. If I focus too much on all that is wrong, I will be buried in darkness and sadness and that is where I would stay. I refuse to let my shortcomings define me.

xoxox Sobria.

Hypocrites

2011-11-30T15:43:00.002+10:00

I think we can all agree we've met at least one, if not a few in our time. I find these people quite interesting; I often wonder if they even take a look at themselves before they go spouting off at the mouth?

An example might be a man who steals tools from building sites, smacks his child so hard he leaves his handprint, and is so dominant over his wife, she grabs her kids and runs when he goes into "red alert" mode. Yet, this person, I wouldn't call him a "man", believes he is a great parent and husband, sees nothing wrong in HIS stealing or doing illegal drugs, and doesn't seem to actually find any faults with himself whatsoever. Yet, this person has security cameras around his house..no one better try to steal from him, only he can steal...

In many ways, his spouse is no different as she too enjoys many hits off the pipe throughout the day and knows that she has to hide the children's misbehavior from the father. While I believe she likely feels she is protecting them, she is paving the way to a life of deception. Children do learn from us as they watch and learn how we handle things. I'd think parents would fully understand this. Obviously not. The mother spends her time messing up the kitchen and leaving it, probably to take a few hits off the pipe, making the children something to eat and handing it to them in the living room, so they can still watch television. I read an article once that described such a practice as the reason so many children are obese. I suppose that it also does take away from time that could very well be spent at the dinner table where all meals, in my opinion, should be eaten, but it's possible it could improve digestion; to be sitting up straight and eating properly. I'm no expert, I'm just guessing about digestion.

Both of these individuals come from another country, no, this is not their motherland. They elected to come to this country, to build a life away from the drugs, crime, and gangs in their homeland. So why then do drugs? Why then be a part of crime (stealing)? They also don't even like the people of this country, they refer to them in many foul ways and claim to have never met a "smart" one yet!

I am not certain that I see too many smart things about them either to be honest. Certainly, jeopardizing your children's welfare by physically abusing them, growing an illegal drug, or even having said illegal drug in your possession is not very smart, nor is stealing very expensive items from building sites very smart, the higher the value, the bigger the crime, and what if one of the workers caught him? What might they do? Would they call the police or would they figure out that he's the guy stealing everyone's expensive tools that they rely on to get work to feed their families.. There is a strong possibility of street justice over calling the police. What good does that do the family income? How smart is that? How smart is it to be of childbearing age and not be on any birth control and drink alcohol and smoke pot all the time? I don't find that to be very smart either. How about sitting outside, talking on the telephone, cussing your neighbors up a storm, and being dumb enough to think they can't hear you..that's not very smart..it's also not very smart to borrow things from said neighbors..you know they heard you.. I'd be careful what I borrowed and put in my mouth! This is the same person who calls others backstabbers and users.

I can't think of a better example at the moment to describe a hypocrite!

Be happy! It really messes with their heads

2011-08-28T17:00:00.002+10:00

One of the things I love is, despite any attempt to bring me down, I generally remain happy. There is no doubt that initially when I see things without my rose colored glasses on, I am deeply hurt and disappointed, but it never lasts long, I am resilient and truly have a wonderful home life as well as friendships that are positive, fulfilling, and loving.

There are several people I know, and have been friends with for well over 26 years. We have had moments, but never fights or sour words, we respect each others differences, we don't try to change one another, and we never call each other names. One thing we have always done is be respectful to one another, it has never been "my way or the highway". We actually love one another and each other's families as well.

If or when, someone enters your life, for whatever reason, and there is always a reason, and they are initially a great help or just a warm person to be around, and you find that really changes into something of quite the opposite, there is also a reason for that. It is not to teach you anything really, but nevertheless it will, I believe that the reason is to gauge how well we respond to it, because that..will surly show your own personality. You will do the usual mourning of losing someone you considered a friend, and hopefully you will quickly move on. It is important to focus on what is positive in your life and smile..be happy to be rid of someone who may have cursed you out behind your back, or used you for financial gain, or maybe just took for you for their mule. Whatever the case, be happy that the person(s) and the universe showed you that he and or she does NOT have you or your best interests at heart! It WELL & TRULY is a Blessing!!! No more wasting time..

I love that I have such a wonderful disposition that I bounce back..there is no doubt that I will recall what the person(s) did from time to time, but I certainly do not live my daily life based upon it. I love my life way too much for that! I love the real friends that I do have and treasure way too much for that. Imagine if I let the actions of a few, impact my life so much that I began to become judgmental, suspicious and overly opinionated with real friends?? That would be catastrophic! They do not deserve that, no good friend does, no matter if this is a friend of one month or 3 centuries!

Be happy!!! Smile in the face of adversity, stand up to a bully and stick up for yourself! If you feel that you can't? Send me a message, I will help you overcome that!

xoxox

SOBRIA.

Bitter or Angry?

2011-08-16T07:43:00.000+10:00

I asked myself this question the other day because as I read my own blog, I thought, WOW you are either bitter or angry, maybe even both!!! I needed to be honest with myself and the answer was- yes, I am angry. I am angry about many things from the past, very angry in fact.

Anyone who has endured much of the things that I have, I believe would feel no differently. What does not help is those disappointments and unrelenting heartbreaks are so close to the surface, yet we go through our lives day to day not really thinking about it anymore..believing it is the past. I am here to say that for me, it really isn't, it is as close to the surface as it can get. How I know this is due to a process called self preservation. Which I can describe for me to be about ensuring I do not allow anyone to be abusive toward me ever again, to make sure that I do not associate with anyone who has displayed an abusive nature.

I do not play well with those whose first love is money and power. Immediately ones mind may go to a politician or some sort of profession. However, I am really talking about ordinary people. Some "ordinary" people wield power in different ways, it might be in the office, a boss that never asks, or says would you or could you please..instead may just slam things on your desk and demand a time frame for it to be done. It might be a spouse who is verbally abusive and goes out of his or her way to humiliate you, it could be a friend who never misses an opportunity to let you know that he or she is doing far better in life than you are..it could also be a child abuser and/or an animal abuser, depending on which one they have.. children or animals. It could be someone who refuses to take no for an answer..and just pushes and pushes..by saying no, you are making them feel powerless, thus they relentlessly call and call if you have hung up on them..or if you have for example..requested they no longer contact you, will continue to do so..a lot. Just a few examples that I consider to be traits of an "ordinary" person who is in love with power (and control). Money, we all know those whose first love is money; in my opinion, they are the ones that constantly flash it..talk about what they have bought (always pricey items), vacations, boats, cars, toys, and everything else. Generally, you know how much their mortgage is, how much their car cost, how much private school for the children cost, how much their jewelry is worth, and what they make a year, or a week..whichever they carry on about. They generally pick friends who they deem to be less fortunate..because lets face it, if they hung around those who made as much, whether they made it known to everyone else or not, it would be a challenge for them to brag..now wouldn't it?

Those are the sort of people I just can't stand to be around. I am not intimidated by anyone in power, I am not jealous of anyone who lives well and I surly do not feel inferior by either. What I do feel is a sense of disgust at the behavior..period. This is NOT to say that everyone who holds high professional positions and make excellent money are all lovers of money and power first, or at all. There are many people who are definitely financially secure with a powerful position in life who are compassionate, loving and caring. I have lived well, and I have lived on an excellent income, and I never demanded anything from anyone, I never bragged about what I had, in fact, I preferred that no one knew. I was generous, usually anonymously, and sometimes not so much, especially if anyone needed help and came to me for that help, I always helped. I never felt I was better than anyone else and I never treated anyone as if I were. BECAUSE I WASN'T. Money does NOT make anyone BETTER in ANY sense. The only thing anyone should judged on is who they are as a person, nothing else.

When I mentioned that my bitterness or anger is generally close to the surface, I did so because I have seen myself in action (obviously). I do not tolerate blatant disrespect towards myself or my loved ones..ever and I am not ashamed to admit it. I do not deserve it..no one deserves it..not an ordinary person. Yes, there are crimes committed that we may make comments on that are disrespectful, but it is because of what they have done, this is not what I am talking about when I say that no one deserves it.

Sometimes I wonder if I am the "watch" for things with people that I know I just can't handle or accept..but in thinking about that, I will say..no, I am not. I am myself when I meet someone, I expect them to be as well, I do not pre -judge anyone, I do not look for bad things, when I have decided that I like them, I just enjoy them for who they are. Basically, as best as I can describe it, it is when they feel comfortable enough around me to be themselves that I will know who they really are, which naturally occurs when you spend a great deal of time with them. When I see dominating behavior, or a love of money & power..I'm instantly disappointed. I know that my sense of right and wrong can not tolerate that in my life..been there & done that..and those feelings of anger resurface, the ones I thought were in my past..and I must wash my hands of the situation with those people. I will have nothing to do with them.

It might sound as if I think I am really something special..that couldn't be further from the truth..but what I am is honest, especially with myself. I can not feel and be content in MY life if I allow myself to be surrounded by those who pretend to want to see you do well, while praying that you don't, by those who use you as their sounding board, yelling their vile profanity and hate, by those that want you to feel defeated by letting you know how far you must go to reach their level (they measure success by money & power)..by ANYONE who isn't a "friend".

You also do not need those kind of people in your life. Live well, live happily, live contently..take the trash in your life, to the trash and don't look back.

xoxo SOBRIA.

Why am I so intuitive?

2011-07-24T15:19:00.001+10:00

Having recently had a wonderful visit with a dear friend, who's more like a twin, I say that because we are very much alike. It is of great comfort to me to know her and spend time with her because if I did not have her, I would go through life explaining that I am not a judgmental, paranoid bitch. Having someone in my life who is on top of her game as I am, I never feel the need to explain.

I realize that a lot of what people say and do are "habits"..and that is something I do as well. I may respond to a comical email with "how funny"..instead of using my own brain and writing "I think that was so funny, I really laughed!". I may also "automatically" be polite because I am polite and very much about respect. In hindsight though, I will ask myself "why didn't you just tell ____to to take a long walk off a short pier?" Or be more direct and tell them exactly what is on your mind?? Because sometimes you aren't in the mood to have a headache that will ensue, and sometimes you just do the polite thing and provide grace (not being mean when you could be) because, in reality, you are not aggressive..unless you are forced to be. So, I get ALL that...I DO.

What I don't GET is those that constantly lie, pretend, sneak, and plot. They do this with their friends, they do this with co-workers, job applications, the tax department (idiots), and everything they come into contact with. There's always a plan, if you will, to have it all come out in their favor. Leave nothing to fate, because they know that fate doesn't like their kind much at all.

Many people are just unhappy, and for good reasons some of the time, finances stink, relationship stinks, maybe they have lost someone they love dearly to the heavens, maybe they have lost their job, it could be that they have had or been in a terrible accident or some trauma, it could just be GUILT..whatever it is, for each person it is REAL and it does affect them and how they carry out their day to day to lives. It doesn't have to, but you can't tell them that unless they want to change their lives around.

The sort of people I am speaking about may well have those issues, and it could very well be what makes them the "demons shat from hell" that they are today..frankly, I don't give a fuck! Should those people find themselves in my exclusive circle of people that I call my friends, (not my facebook friends, my REAL friends) they will swiftly find out, and become greatly annoyed that they can not pull their shit with me. Ah, yes, for a while, they will...because I am a trusting person, and I am a person who overlooks A LOT of things in order not to be "all up in their business" so to speak. It is not a requirement of friends to agree on everything n' anything..sometimes you have to accept their false as they must accept yours..but only up to the point that you see their false lies within their soul and they are actually soul-sucking demon in human clothing. That's when most run..but it is when I expose them..initially, people will say "nooo, you have them all wrong"..or "you're reading too much into it", and even "do you even like anybody?"..these things I must live with, but I do not stop ripping layer after layer down..and finally, people see what I showed them all along..no..it isn't rewarding, it pisses me off because I HAD TO PROVE I WAS RIGHT to be believed. BUT, that is HOW good these fuckers make themselves out to be. Except with me.

I watch someone's face and eye movement when telling me a story without even realizing it..because when I begin to doubt the story, I will later (even months later) recall what they were wearing, their facial expression, eye movements, the pitches in their voice, their hand gestures, etc.and I know when someone is talking to me, I'm not analyzing them, on a conscious level, anyway.

I have always disliked a woman my step-brother married, I never met her in my life..just email contact and later facebook contact..I knew from the opening gate I did not like her, though I tried very much to like her..I set aside many things she said, implied, and reacted to and how she reacted to them..in order to like her..in the end, I concluded that I could not stand her, not because I'm a bitch, but because she is, as well as a pathological lair and an attention seeking slag. She made a highly offensive status one day, and I called her on it..but simply by saying "that sounds racist"..I'm sure you didn't mean it to..but it does. After I did, 2 others echoed my response..to retaliate, she went on a mission to do her best to humiliate me, which did not go very far..as she knows nothing about ME, as I said, I did not like her from the start, I certainly never had personal conversations with her, so instead she began to make things up, as she was dwindling down with trying to prove what she was saying about me, (because she could not) she deleted me..thus disabling my ability to defend myself. Which is fine..but it proves my intuition about her. No good, from the opening gate. Since that has occurred, she has offended my sister and my mother..while I am sorry that happened, it again, proved what I was saying all along, she's no fucking good.

There's another story I will delve into later, this is way too long..and I will let you rest on this.

As for my friend, my twin..she gets it, as she warned me before about someone and I didn't listen..that will never happen again.

xoxo
Sobria.

You can follow me by clicking this link to my #socialmedia site.

I'm Keen...

2011-03-25T21:17:00.000+10:00

Gut Feelings, The Intelligence of the Unconscious - 2008 publication

Saying "I'm Keen" doesn't mean I think I'm great or that I'm ready for anything. It means that I have an ability to see peoples motives, and even when I "suspect" them, I often ignore them..it is later that I can say "I knew it". Because, I well and truly did.

I find myself annoyed much of the time at the things people will say and do to "cover up" their REAL motive. I am annoyed because it is so transparent to me, and I am also annoyed that they are such cowards that they won't admit to it, or would try to be coy about something to get their point across..instead of just saying it! Example, instead of saying I bought this for $__.00 , I bought this for $__.00, I bought this for $__.00 , I am buying this for $__.00 or that for $__.00, and naming expensive price tags, what they are REALLY saying is "I have a lot of money", Or "I'm rich, you're not"! OR "I am doing better in life than you are". Most genuine people wouldn't name the price and certainly wouldn't carry on..

The ways in which people attempt to needle me or others is in one way, amusing, in another, annoying, and showing a great lack of character.

Sometimes, it is what someone doesn't say that gives them away.

I find my main problem is that I am a believer in friendship, I believe it takes being a good friend, to have a good friend. I believe (well, used to) that people are inherently honest and good. I take those beliefs and give the benefit of the doubt several times over until the plain truth is not just staring me in the face, but slapping my face. It is at that point that I let them know every word and move they made, exactly what their motive was, and the consequence of taking me for an idiot. Nothing violent, mind you, I simply tell them I won't have anything to do with them, and I don't.

Trust your instinct with people, don't pre-judge, don't be all paranoid with them, be relaxed with them because that is when your instincts will guide you and if there is an "off" feeling? There is a reason, believe that!

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Us, the human race

2011-03-23T21:07:00.000+10:00

The Power of Integrity: Building a Life Without Compromise

Integrity: Good People, Bad Choices, and Life Lessons from the White House

I find myself asking, what in the hell is going on with people? I can give a hundred examples of why I ask, and quite honestly, worry. Recently, I was involved in something on facebook, that turned out to be nothing but a ploy for attention. The part that really disturbs me is that I really went to bat for this person who says she is pregnant and being harassed, and given this person is a relative, I was very upset!! I intervened and defended said relative, only to later read that the harassment really didn't bother her, cause "no one was bringin her down". I live in another country, it was expensive for me to call that country 5 times in her defence. Not only was I extremely upset by the language used against this relative, but also suggestions she should have an abortion! That individual is clearly mean, malicious, and thoughtless. However, my relatives response was obviously "ha, ha, I got my aunty involved, this sucker will pay now" and once I was involved, I did end the problem, at great expense to me financially and emotionally. In that scenario, I evaluate it as follows; The harasser is void of compassion, plain and simple, the relative is void of integrity, plain and simple, and myself, is void of self control.

Other instances include animal abuse, it seems to be ramped, like a disease. I am seeing more and more instances of animal abuse than ever! I am talking torturing animals, for pleasure..and then you have people who do not even consider their pet a part of the family any more when it becomes an inconvenience..They want to move or have a baby, perhaps they want to downsize into a beach front unit, I don't know and quite honestly, I do NOT care what their pathetic excuses are. These people KNOW they are wrong, morally corrupt, and complete liars! They bring them to the shelter with so many lies it isn't funny, "suddenly they have an allergy to the 4 year old cat or dog, or they lie and say it bites (stupid idiots, puts that dog right in the front of the line for euthanasia), they even say it's a stray..how pathetic is that? A well fed, healthy animal; who is clean and groomed..that isn't a stray fuck wit, it's either a lost dog or your dog, likely your dog cause you are looking so hard for an excuse to ditch your "beloved pet" that you can't reason that out!

School bullying has been an issue from day one in any school around the world, why is that? It is something learned at home? Is there abuse in the home of the bully? What makes a bully so aggressive, mean, and hateful?? anyone..???? I am pleased to see it IS an issue taken seriously now instead of telling the victim to harden up..ignore them and they'll stop (right.........)

The good ole on-line experience..WOW is all I can really say, there are so many people who use their time on-line wisely and actually educate others or help them in some way, then of course there are those that use it as an opportunity to degrade, insult, and bully others. I don't see this is an an adolescent ONLY issue, I see more adults behaving badly than I do young adults, honestly. What is now defunct in the lives of people that they must hurt someone else to feel good about themselves? I know, to an extent, this has always been, but before it was face to face, where you could clock a bitch who talked such shit to your face, in fact, most of the stuff said over a computer, would NEVER be said to someone's face, EVER. So why would anyone feel that it is appropriate? Truth is, I don't think they even care or think about what is appropriate..but one thing I do know, if you watch them on-line, how they talk to others and behave in general, you have seen through their soul. It's the "real" them. How they are in person, is actually the actor whose being "human" to ensure friends, lets face it, it's gotta be lonely as hell to be evil. No decent person would bother with such ilk.

Personal lives, on and off line; some of it is downright disturbing!! Just a few examples, verbal abuse on children..what's up with that? Are they that weak minded, lacking that much parenting skill, or human love and compassion that verbally bashing a baby or child is the solution? I won't get into the real, physical bashing of child right now, or this blog won't end. People do the same to animals, what? They have no feelings? They don't know the difference between a happy voice, a very angry voice, and angry behaviour? Well, if you are doing that and reading this, STOP that shit NOW! Yes, they do know and you do not deserve a child or a pet if you do not have self control! Goodness me, that is common sense! Get help. Or give child up for adoption before you hurt it and do the same with your pet! BUT..when you bring that pet to a NON KILL shelter, don't lie, tell them your an abusive assbag and do not deserve the pet and it surly does not deserve your abuse!

I do not address "everyone in the human race" in this blog, but those who can relate to, and identify with, what I have said... this blog's for you. It's time to make a change, its time to make sure you replace hate words with nice words, to lower your voice, to be on your computer and realise that a real person is on the other end with feelings and problems of their own, they don't need your bull shit adding to them. "Treat others the way YOU want to be treated". I am not suggesting that you let someone bully you or a relative..not at all, I am suggesting you leave the verbal/written aggression for those that well and truly deserve it. Don't verbally assault someone because you can and won't miss any teeth for it..because you're "on line".

Lets all TRY to be more compassionate, to realise that we are all hurting in one way or another, that as a human race, we need to stick together, not divide.

Can you just try that?

Negativity & Jealousy

2011-01-27T13:39:00.000+10:00

As I write this, I am disgusted, annoyed, and bewildered. You see, I have a good friend, who I'll call opal, who has a beautiful, 16 year old daughter, who I'll call diamond. Diamond is model material, but she is too short, otherwise, she'd have been "discovered" and working as one by now. Diamond is sometimes called names in school, such as fat and ugly..I see diamonds pictures all the time, all recent, she is far from either.

Because Diamond is 16, and they are impressionable, emotional, and take a lot to heart. I decided that I would take 3 recent photos of Diamond and post them on my facebook page, posing the question, cute or stunning? Everyone that commented made positive comments and I felt really good about what I had done, because you see, Diamond is also on my friends list on facebook, I wanted her to read positive comments and help her see she is none of the mean names that jealous girls call her. One of the cute comments came from her mum, Opal, saying Thank you, she's only 16, but she will appreciate your kind words. Then..I was dismayed and angry when one of my "friends" posted on the first photo and wrote, cute..I struggle to find stunning. I replied, "keep looking, you will find it". She bypassed the second photo, which was the most stunning of all and went to the third and wrote, she's cute but she still has baby fat in her face..this was after the comment from mum stating the girl was only 16, she then carried onto say some other negative comments, she wrote a dialogue on her negative opinions of this girl. In my disgust and complete disbelief that anyone would insult a child, when clearly I, her friend, wrote that Diamond is gorgeous, just made me furious! I finally wrote my purpose for the posting of the photos and used that to explain why I'd be deleting all negative comments and then, promptly did so.

Now, the "friend" who posted these negative comments is middle aged, over weight, divorced, and unemployed. I understand her personal negativity to an extent..but I believe that it's shameful and disgraceful to be cruel to others because you're struggling with weight issues, and are having a hard time finding work.

I just want to say to anyone who reads this, if you find yourself in the situation my soon to be "ex friend" did, don't be cruel, don't pass off your hate and negativity onto anyone, but especially a child. If you do..you have more to be ashamed of than you realise.

In hindsight, my "friend" made an ass of herself, there isn't one person who'd look at her photo and not see this was the act of jealousy. Middle aged women have no business being jealous if a 16 year old kid!

Grow up!

Stubborn or Integrity?

2011-01-25T12:18:00.001+10:00

There is a quote that I love; “One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.”
diploabu

Chinua Achebe quotes

I have been accused of being obstinate, closed-minded, and basically uninformed because of strong values/beliefs on many things. Clearly, I love the above quote because my rejection to be compromised has led to others compromising their manners, sense of reasoning, and themselves. They always tend to start ridiculing you because you will not shift..Which isn't saying much for their moral fiber, now is it?

Now, I understand the difference between being compromised and having a belief system that may be flawed, nevertheless, if you believe in it, you know there are flaws in it because any knowledgeable person would logically know enough about it to trust in it. The alternative belief may have more flaws, thus you have chosen to believe what sits best with you and your lifestyle. Being compromised can dictate to many different facets of being and way of life.

I believe in G-D, and many believe in evolution. These are debates that will bring out the worst in Christians and heathens alike.

I believe in right and wrong, some believe that everything they do is right and you are always wrong.

I believe in family values, while others believe in “getting theirs” even if it's against the family.

I believe that those you meet for the first time should be accepted, and respected with an open mind unless of course the meeting is a professional one and you are visiting them in prison to discuss their rape/murder/abduction, etc case. Others believe that people must earn their respect and trust. I believe that it is I who must earn that from those I meet.

I believe that my behavior when I am away from you should embody my behavior when I am with you. Some people believe “the cats away, the mice shall play”.

I believe that there are some actions that are unjustifiable and unforgivable. Some people believe that everyone deserves a tenth chance.

I believe in being honest and being myself, always. Some people believe it’s best to make an impression and set out being someone they really aren’t..but they can’t see that.

I believe that if we don’t occasionally put ourselves first, we will always come up last. Some people believe that it’s best to always put others first, it’d be selfish, otherwise.

I believe that a true friend is rare and is to be treasured. Some people believe that true friends don’t exist because everyone has an agenda. (That’s usually the person who believes that way).

I believe that pets are the most precious gift to man and should be treated with great love and care. Some people believe they are easy targets and abuse them in the most horrific ways. (These people are typically mouthy, but cowardly, and bullies to other people).

I believe that children are also the most precious gift to man and should be treated with the greatest love and care. Some people believe they too are easy targets and abuse them in the most horrific ways. (These people are generally mouthy to anyone they deem below them, obviously cowardly, and bullies to those, including pets, that are weaker and smaller).

All of the aforementioned subjects I will not be compromised on. I stand by what I believe, and I will NOT agree with you for the sake of satisfying your ego. I will not surrender to a weakened alternative nor have in me an iniquity that would destroy me to the core.

So call me obstinate, closed-minded, and basically uninformed because of my values/beliefs on many things. Clearly, I love the above quote because I have integrity.

~Sobria~

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Control Freaks

2011-01-25T11:16:00.001+10:00

Why Is It Always About You The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism

I really can't stand to be around control freaks..They grate on the last nerve in my body, I have to control myself so I don't go off on a rant explainin' to them that most everything they do, they do wrong..that their way isn't best, and their demands are unreasonable! Control freaks need to learn that they end up with the majority resenting them, maybe even hating them, and they are viewed as someone with a superiority complex, and of course, that is repulsive in itself.

Everything must be done their way, in their time frame, and with their approval, of course. They have to be head honcho all of the time and everyone must answer to them. It's quite Hitler'ish if you ask me. I have seen a connection between substance abuse and control freaks, but maybe that's just my experiences with "those people".

A control freak believes that everything they do is 100% proper all of the time, they are superior in their knowledge of, and performance of - domestic duties, cooking, their chosen career and yours too, gardening, parenting, driving, planning, organising events, etc..You get the picture. I think these people are also narcissists because they are egotistical and self adsorbed..They would have to be in order to maintain their superiority complex and the constant bullying they hand out to get their own way. It is ALWAYS about them and never about YOU.

I have found that most are not easy to deal with and nearly impossible to live with. They are quite unstable if things do not go their way, especially if they TOLD you to do something and when to do it. They don't ASK if you would do this or that, they order you to do it and most times will state at time it is to be done. This is infuriating to say the least..no one appreciates being told, on a daily basis, what to do and being given a deadline to have it done...especially in their own house! The problems that can result from living that way, I imagine are many. This "doing as your told" business can really alter the individuality of a partner/spouse, they literally must start living to satisfy the control freak..or face a row they likely will not win. The reason I believe they wouldn't win is because if they are weak or kind enough to bullied around, they won't have the back bone to tell the control freak to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.

I too have a propensity to be controlling, I believe that many of us do, but there are limits to mine. My control freak nature is to just do it myself, honestly, there are certain responsibilities that I don't feel anyone else can do suitably in my home. I took absolute control of home, I did everything myself. This is controlling in its own way, it just doesn't assault the lifestyle of others, unless of course they want to eat or have a drink on my couch, you'll cop it from me right quick for trying that!

I once worked for a control freak, it didn't last long..he accused me of signing his name to a legal letter, I showed Mr. Scatterbrained the original which used HIS pen that he carried with him always, upon his sighting that he was, in fact, wrong, an apology was ordered, I didn't see one coming, so as he walked to leave my office, I said "pardon me, don't you have anything to say?" He replied "yes, I do, I need this file and that file and I want them now"...I instantly jumped from my chair, slammed my fist on my desk and loudly yelled "Just who in the F---k do you think you're talking to?" His stunned look elated me, he hadn't been aggressively challenged before..With that, I slammed my hand again and yelled "F---ing answer me!" He sheepishly left my office, put on his coat and left the office.

I quickly typed my "resignation letter" in paragraph 2 of a legal letter that I had been typing, “you can finish this yourself, I quit"! Proudly, I left my office keys on the file cabinet because I had flipped my desk, locked and walked out the door. Within 2 minutes of driving home, my mobile phone was ringing and beeping I had 3 voice mails when I got home, all from him, wanting to “discuss this, please” and apologising for his behaviour. I did not call the idiot back because I DO have backbone and I do not have the patience or the capacity to deal with control freaks.

Parenting

2011-01-20T21:51:00.000+10:00

Not to diminish the valuable lessons that mistakes teach us, because they are paramount, we need those lessons, however, it would be so great for parents to have a clue what you are capable of dear child.

The mistakes we make with our children because we are doing it all, no matter how many you have is on instinct, but not based necessarily on the child's real needs, and perhaps a manual would help?

Each child, if you have 1 or 7, are all uniquely different because they are individuals. They may resemble you both, but they aren't you and realizing this is also paramount. They aren't necessarily going to be like you, they may be a polar opposite, therefore having a plan, having some knowledge would help in so many ways.

Children, also teach us..they teach us to play again, to find fun and humor in the little things, they teach us that a toothless smile is adorable and completely irresistible, that the sound of their cough or sneeze is enough to bring us to our knees with worry; that teething, though we don't remember it -- is hell..or for some babies, you never even notice they are cutting a tooth because they either deal with it better or simply do not go through agonizing pain in the process. They teach us that dirt is fun and crayons are magic..pots and pans are actually musical instruments and the toilet is for flushing everything that is unwanted or pretty cool to watch swirl around before it attempts to go down..they teach us that a midnight feeding is an opportunity to bond...and that cookie crumbs are fun to mash into into anything!

When the child is a tot, we wish they would learn all these things, such as talking, walking and maybe even feeding themselves, we yearn at times for them to grow - DON'T - as they grow, the problems can too...Let them be a child, explore, wonder, learn and play!

My children mean nothing less than the world to me, so often I feel I have failed them, and in many ways, I believe I have. I did not have a manual, I was 17 when my first was born..I was 25 when my last was born. I was many times, a baby, raising a baby.

Which brings me to say; read parenting books, take from them what sounds reasonable and feels comfortable for you - not everything in them is gospel...like I said, all children are individuals and one size does not fit all. Listen to your elders, they have great advise..it might seem "not you" when you hear it, but trust me, they have been there and done that!
When in doubt? Consult your pediatrician, they can guide in you in many ways and I'm confident quite happy to and if they are not? Time for a new pediatrician.

Love your children, praise them, guide them, by all means, discipline them (not abuse them)..teach them and you will have a child that can go out in this world and make his or her own way..if they choose not to? Then at least know that you gave them everything possible to succeed...if they choose drugs or an alternative lifestyle (want to be homeless, want to travel with a band and avoid college to do so, etc) ...that is their choice..as much as it hurts....remember, they are individuals and we really don't have them long enough to do it all. Just TRY.

Chronic Pain

2011-01-20T12:29:00.001+10:00

This was first diagnoised as TMJ (Temporomandibular joint disorder), in fact, I believed for several years this was the problem, and was treated and medicated for it, the medication worked because of it's capability to treat neuropathic pain (Gabapentin (brand name Neurontin) is a pharmaceutical drug, specifically a GABA analogue. It was originally developed for the treatment of epilepsy, and currently, gabapentin is widely used to relieve pain, especially neuropathic pain, as well as major depressive disorder.)

I have had 3 root canals on just one tooth, I have had 2 teeth removed completely, because initially, the pain only ran along my sinuses which led to a phantom pain in the teeth and along the left side of my jaw, from the joint down. It does not help that I also have chronic sinus disease, which was never diagnosed from 2004 until an MRI in 2009.

In 2007, I went to a maxillofacial surgeon who specialized in TMJ, he made me $3,000.00 splint, which generously included the cost of up to 7 visits for readjustments, which were used in less than 3 weeks. I found, initially, with medication, that it was working, I was so happy to be pain-free! After a couple of months, the appliance adjustment, which I wore 24/7, was hurting before I got home, I mean, extreme pain and the only way to relieve the pain was to remove the splint. I stopped using it completely. The Surgeon blamed my medication, stating that he find patients who take medication do not respond well. I say bull crap!

As years went by, the pain increased, but also spread, it began going toward my ears more, my scalp, and under my jaw, all I could do was take my medicine, 300 mgs in the morning, 300 more in the afternoon, 300 more around dinner and 600 before bed, and if I were lucky, and usually I wasn't, I wouldn't wake up in the night in pain, however, when I did, I'd have to take 1200 mgs more, sit with an ice pack or two, put my sunglasses on (any light whatsoever stings and burns my eyes during these "episodes").
and try to comfort myself any way possible.

To date, I get this facial pain for about 6 months, which is 3 months longer than what it was in 2004. The pain is intensified with many new "pain sensations" and the duration of each episode is much longer and is not easily controlled with medication and an ice pack. I have had an ice pack on my face, while pumped full of medication for 11 hours straight before.

I can't count the times that I have said, and meant it, if I had a gun, I'd end this pain right now..The height of the attack is so much pain, I can't describe it, but I'll try, it is only the left side of my face, and the area affected is my left scalp, down to my neck, from my left ear to the corner of my nose, my jaw line, teeth and eye(left eye), there will be simultaneous, crushing, burning, surface throbbing, deep throbbing, stabbing sharp pain, with what feels like bolts of electricity shooting upward into the face, my teeth on the left will all feel like they are made of cement, my eye swells and throbs and waters so much, my right eye will water, I will be unable to stand the sight of light..I will wear sunglasses in the dark. It's HORRIBLE, I sit with an ice pack attached to my face for hours on end, and I rock back and forth, gently, with my eyes closed in an attempt to "ride the wave of pain", it is sometimes less stressful to embrace it. This pain is excruciatingly painful.

Finally, I found a doctor who loves her job and takes it seriously, she doesn't look at me so much as a paycheck, but as someone who is responsible for and truly wants to help. When I began seeing her, I gave her copies of all my medical records with regard to "TMJ", as she read each one, she looked at me and pointed to one MRI result which clearly stated that no dysfunction of the Temporomandibular joint was found. She then ordered a lot of blood work, got out a pad and paper, and asked me to describe the pain, when it started, where I get it, how long it lasts in episode duration and does it come and go? I answered all of her questions, went to the lab and had the blood work done, and was back to see her a few days later. My blood work showed that my B12 was very low, I underwent 6 shots to bring it up (B12 is essential for the nerves) and I believe those shots helped with my pain, but she also did some investigating on my symptoms and the amount of medication it takes to get the pain under control and that is when she diagnosed me with having Trigemnial neuralgia. My husband and I left her office with the information sheets she had provided, as I read all of the symptoms, I could NOT believe it described mine perfectly, there is only one thing I found that did not match my circumstances, I am woken in the night with pain, whereas most are not. In fact, it seems the minute I try to lay down, even slightly elevated, it causes the attack. I have tried sleeping propped up with pillows, and have successfully done so when full of medication and a recent prior attack (say I had an attack at 7:00 p.m. and attempted the propped pillow sleep at 10:00, I'd likely be successful until about 2:00 am). This could be a result of also having chronic sinus disease which really flares up during these pain episodes (6 months worth). I have medication for that too, which helps a great deal.

I have 4 months left of my remission time and it's sad because I really can't even fully enjoy it, I'm so anxious and stressed about what I know lies ahead.

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Criminal Law - New York State

2011-01-20T11:10:00.001+10:00

Pedophilia and Sexual Offending Against Children: Theory, Assessment, and Intervention

Assault on children
Of all the situations I have come into contact with, this is the most disturbing. It became even more disturbing when the defendant would have been found to have had prior arrests and even jail sentences for this crime, yet, was released in a very short time. If you look further into the criminal careers of pedophiles, some will end up murdering their tiny victim. They may not start out that way, but after repeated jail sentences and arrests, they become murderers as well.

After doing research on the subject, I came to find that this crime against children isn't taken as seriously as drinking and driving is. This finding, using the jail or prison sentences as evidence, disturbed me and my sense of right and wrong to the core.

When I picked up a newspaper or read the local news on the internet and see that a fatal DWI (Driving while intoxicated) got the driver LIFE in prison, I would think, a life for a life. Read further down the page, and see that a pedophile who murdered his victim got 20 (twenty years) to life. Why is this innocent child’s life, worth less, legally, than the life of the innocent passenger or another driver? Life without parole should be mandatory for murders such as these, but for some oddity, the law hasn't been updated to hold the child’s life with that much regard.

To criticise law is not my intention. There have been many changes to the laws for children, for example, one in Florida (New York, should take notice)

“Jessica’s Law”
Jessica's Law is the informal name given to a 2005 Florida law, as well as laws in several other states, designed to punish sex offenders and reduce their ability to re-offend. A version of Jessica's Law, known as the Jessica Lunsford Act, was introduced at the federal level in 2005 but was never enacted into law by Congress.

The name is also used by the media to designate all legislation and potential legislation in other states modeled after the Florida law. Forty-two states have introduced such legislation since Florida's law was passed.

The law is named after Jessica Lunsford, a young Florida girl who was raped and murdered in February 2005, by John Couey, a previously convicted sex offender. Public outrage over this case spurred Florida officials to introduce this legislation. Among the key provisions of the law is a mandatory minimum sentence of 25 years in prison and lifetime electronic monitoring of adults convicted of lewd or lascivious acts against a victim less than 12 years old. In Florida, sexual battery or rape of a child less than twelve years old is punishable only by life imprisonment with no chance of parole. Her story is below;

Jessica Marie Lunsford (October 6, 1995 – February 27, 2005) was a nine-year-old girl who was abducted from her home in Homosassa, Florida in the early morning of February 24, 2005. Believed held captive over the weekend, she was raped and later murdered by 47-year-old John Couey who was living nearby. The media covered the investigation and trial of her killer extensively. On August 24, 2007 a judge in Inverness, Florida sentenced Couey, a convicted sex offender, to death for kidnapping, raping, and murdering Jessica. Jessica was buried alive with her stuffed toy.

There is also the

“Amber Alert”
An AMBER Alert is a child abduction alert bulletin in the United States and Canada, as well as other countries, issued upon the suspected abduction of a child. AMBER is officially a backronym for "America's Missing: Broadcasting Emergency Response" but was originally named for Amber Hagerman, a 9-year-old child who was abducted and murdered in Arlington, Texas in 1996. Exceptions are in Georgia, where it is called "Levi's Call", Hawaii, where it is called a "Maile Amber Alert", and Arkansas, where it is called a "Morgan Nick Amber Alert". Those plans were named after children who went missing in those states.

AMBER Alerts are distributed via commercial radio stations, satellite radio, television stations, and cable TV by the Emergency Alert System (where they are termed "Child Abduction Emergency" or "Amber Alerts"), as well as via e-mail, electronic traffic-condition signs, the LED billboards which are located outside of newer Walgreens locations, along with the LED/LCD signs of billboard companies such as Clear Channel Outdoor, CBS Outdoor and Lamar, and wireless device SMS text messages. Those interested in subscribing to receive AMBER Alerts in their area via SMS messages can visit Wireless Amber Alerts, which are offered by law as free messages. In some states, the display scroll boards in front of lottery terminals are also used. The decision to declare an AMBER Alert is made by the police organization investigating the abduction. Public information in an AMBER Alert usually consists of the name and description of the abductee, a description of the suspected abductor, and a description and license plate number of the abductor's vehicle, if available.

I have limited this to crimes that have taken place in the USA because I am more familiar with these crimes and of the sentences received. Though, I did recently hear on the news here that a father, who beat up the man who molested his son received more jail time than the offender.

There is work to be done, and this is one area of the law that desperately needs an overhaul.

Thank you for reading my blog on this matter, and if you have any comments or suggestions, please feel free to offer them to me.
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Fake and obsessed

2011-01-19T07:14:00.000+10:00

Can't live with them and can't live (the right way) without them!

Sterling Silver 2ct Diamond Three Row Bracelet

They teach us so many valuable lessons..such as how NOT to be a over-bearing arsehole to our "friends".

They teach us to treat others with respect, fairness, and to deal with them honestly.

They teach us how to behave, how to not to behave..

They also teach us how to spot them if we look closer..

I've noticed that they normally do not have any close friends, you're it! You are the only one that they invite over or out..and they try and sometimes do, make you part of their household, even having the kids chum up to you..

They really dislike past-friends and "confide" malicious gossip about them to you, whether you want to hear it or not.

If at any time, you are not available to hang out, they try to not act offended, but they are and it's obvious..because that is when the emails start coming in, and text messages to see if you're alright..In reality, they know that you are, because you simply stated you had other plans..The next time you hang out, they treat you differently and the next...almost as if you have done something to them..it's normally about this time you sense something is not right with this person or this couple and start your move to create space..This is when the real weird stuff starts..

My most recent fake, but obsessed, ex-friend is female, and married..she loves her fake nails, never wears the same outfit twice, and if she does, it is well disguised, tonnes of jewellery, funky hair cut and always, perfume..drinks like a fish, she can and does drink several beers a day/night and tops it off with a bottle or two of red wine, usually Merlot, and seems to function just fine...that speaks volumes for the years she must have been drinking this way..her eyes look dead...she is very jealous and apparently insanely insecure. I believe she is in love herself and with money and nothing much else. Very competitive with her spouse, children, and "friends". She will initially present herself as the nicest person, who would never say "boo", whose feelings are easily hurt and she is basically just a gentle person, which is the complete opposite of who she really is..I know, I've seen the temper first hand, I have listened to the hate spewing from her mouth over needy people..they in fact, disgust her, someone that needs a helping hand is repulsive to her..and her husband seems to feel the same way, though I'd venture to guess he wouldn't dare say otherwise. This showed me how fake these people really are..when I'd met them, they pretended to have the same compassionate views on people, as I and my husband have. On many occasions, shopping was on the list of things to do on the weekend, where my "friend" would try to pick my clothes and outfits..No thank you, if I wanted to dress like I was 16 again, I would..I did not come out and say that; I instead said it wasn't my taste, for my age.

A real friend will not try to change you, they do not become obsessed with you and all of your private business, they do not interfere with your life, they make it more enjoyable. They are there when you need them and know they can call upon on you if needed..a real friend generally has the same interests. And any real friend of mine, most certainly cares about others, whether known to them or not, and will reach out to help someone in need.

Be selective when choosing your friends..stay away from the intense ones especially if what they say, does not match what they do.. if how they present themselves is in strike contrast to how they really live..if everything about them is exaggerated..lifestyle, appearance, and friendliness...you've found yourself a fake and likely obsessed friend.

Something nice!

2011-01-18T09:57:00.000+10:00

Now I am compelled to say something nice, after hurling abuse, judging others, and being downright belligerent…

There are so many wonderful people out there; I have met some of the nicest people in real life and on the internet. I love the sense of humour, integrity, sincerity, and intellect that my friends have..I love that I can tell them anything, even if it is embarrassing and even though they may laugh at me, they love me for it, as I do their crazy antics.