JESSICA'S WORLD

#Honesty to Behold....

2014-03-31T05:48:00.000-07:00

Yes in this time and era, total strangers who are honest people still exist. Very few though, but yes.

The other day I wanted to send someone money via M-PESA. So, I went to the nearest agent to deposit the amount that I needed to send. Still, it was a place I often go whenever I need to make a transaction or send money. As usual the agent attendant after asking for your number, they show it to you plus the amount you require to send typed on their phone before hitting send so that you can confirm for just in case but she didn't or I don't recall her doing so. While I was still standing there at the shop, a friend of mine happened to walk in and we started talking while am being attended to. So the agent attendant asked me for the money and I gave it to them then I did the necessary of signing.

Since it was in the evening and I was rushing somewhere, I left the shop without getting a notification on my phone about any money received. I don't remember the lady asking me to confirm my details but I reasoned that the message will come in later on my way out. I checked my phone to see if the money has come in my account but it hadn't. So I assumed there was a delay and didn't panic. When I got home, I decided to ask another M-PESA shop around if there were any delays just to confirm my assumptions but I was told there had been no delays the whole day. Then I started to panic and called my friend whom we had met at shop and asked them if they could go back and tell the lady attendant to resend my money since I hadn't received.

The whole night passed, nothing in my account. So the next day I passed by the shop to narrate my story only to realize I gave my number yes but with one digit wrong meaning the money was sent to someone else. Now the obvious thing to do was to call the person who received the cash and ask them to refund. So I call the number and a lady who sounded like 50 something years of age picked and I explained to her my story then without any fuss or hesitance she agreed to resend the cash back to me and she did!

I was so happy and grateful to the lady but then I realized that had it not been for my own honesty and integrity which I practice always, probably I could not have got my cash back. You see, good deeds begets good deeds and vice versa. I remembered how many times I had received cash that wasn't meant to be mine and I would always return back to the sender. You can only reap what you sow... because I had sown a seed of honesty and integrity it was my time to reap :-). So the next time you get an opportunity to express honesty and integrity, please don't forget it could be you next time and I believe you will do the necessary. You will be honest. Won't you?

Have you been in a similar situation? What did you do?

You are Beautiful!

2013-11-13T03:47:00.000-08:00

The Beautiful me...

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. So the world will tell you. The Bible on the other hand will tell you, You are made from the image of God. And not just that but, You are fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalms 139:13,14). At the end of the day, whose report will you believe? My answer, It's a choice! Yes it is an individual's responsibility to choose what to feed your mind. Someone once said, what you feed grows.

Though for a moment, I stop and think for someone to hear, they need to be told! and once they have heard, for them to believe what they are told, they need someone again to affirm that. Sadly, most people don't get that someone. Someone who will be there to tell and make them to believe in themselves. Someone to boost their self esteem.

Every daughter needs at least a male figure in her life to affirm her beauty. Fathers need to play that role very well and in cases where one is a single mother, they need to make sure that they let that baby girl know from a tender age that she is beautiful... hearing it over and over, she will grow in confidence and when she's all grown and get to the age of attracting men's attention, she will not be hearing it for the first time. And she will not be lured into deception by just a mere "you are beautiful" because it won't be news to her. She already knows and believes that.

For the better part of my growing up, no one had ever told me that am beautiful. At least my memory can't recall. (Yes even my parents) Actually, I heard it for the first time when I became an adult. In fact to be precise, in church and that is when I had given my life to Christ. (but it didn't sink in) I grew up knowing that beauty was not one of my privileges... Someone once called me ugly imagine! And for the longest time, I would look myself in the mirror and confirm that in deed I wasn't beautiful. I thought beauty belonged to others, the light skinned and such.

To admit it, until very recently I was still struggling with my looks. OK. let me be honest, am still recovering because, time to time that feeling still comes.Someone would tell me am beautiful but deep down I would be like, that is just what they want me to hear but I know they don't really mean it. I would find other ladies beautiful and not me. I even avoided taking photos and when I did, and let's say I happen to upload it on Facebook, people would like or comment but I will be like, whatever, I don't really think so...

Like me before, I know there is a baby girl (men too) out there and you feel you are not as beautiful. Maybe because you have never been told or simply because you were once called sura mbaya (ugly) by your peers while playing and you believed that.Or it was by your parent(s)/guardian/teacher/whoever, you know who. Due to that, you believed their word.Words are powerful, whether positive or negative.As a result, you might have developed low self esteem which has tormented you the better part of your life. But you can overcome that feeling. Like I mentioned earlier above, you are responsible for your own self and just because you feel nobody is there for you, you don't have to kill yourself in self pity and despair. Brace yourself. Yes by believing in who God says you are. Just like Sinach sang so powerfully in her song "I know who I am" enjoy listening!

SINACH - I KNOW WHO I AM Lyrics

You are beautiful, believe it!

Question: Have you struggled with how you look? Or has anyone called you ugly and you believed it? How are you overcoming that lie? What are you doing to believe in yourself once again? Let's share to encourage someone in the comments section below

Waiting without wandering... A life lesson.

2013-10-31T03:52:00.000-07:00

The billboard on Waiyaki way that had fallen, leading to heavy traffic snarl up on nearly all nearby routes.

So the other day I spent the better part of my morning hours on the road, on my way to work. Thanks to the humongous billboard that fell, blocking both roads from and to town respectively. Unfortunately, it happened to be on the highway I use daily to go to work. I first heard of the incident on radio while I was still in the house as I listened to traffic updates but I thought to myself that by the time am ready to leave, the traffic would have subsided or at least over but I was wrong.

First shock, I got to the stage and there were no matatus. The very few that were operating had raised the fare to like three times higher than the usual one. Some actually four times higher....and to make it worse, they were coming when they were so full. That meant you pay that much and stand at the same time. I stood at the stage for few minutes stranded and wondering what to do. Then a thought came to my mind to call some guy I know that operates a taxi near my office and who happens to use the same route as me. So I decided to call and ask if he had passed, and yes he had but thankfully, he had only gone a few metres ahead from where I was. Off course I was forced to walk to meet him there because he had offered to wait for me and help out.

Finally I met the guy and yes the traffic was right there.... Drivers were being advised to use alternative routes to avoid the traffic and so just like most people, we did the same. We took presumably a better option (we thought) for where we were going but as usual, because everyone else was trying to avoid the traffic, the likelihood is, you all find yourselves that way.

That was the case for almost everyone. Drivers choosing to meander through the traffic back and forth as they looked for alternative routes to beat the traffic. Now our driver, he decided to take another longer route that made us go all round only hours later to come back to the very same route we were meant to take earlier which was a very short distance to our destination. I thought to myself, what if we had decided to just stay on the highway and hopefully wait for the slow moving snarl up to reduce? or hope that staying on course, the billboard was shortly going to be removed by the City Councils and the road will be clear? Actually that is what happened! by the time we got to our destination, the highway was clear.

One thing that came to my mind while still in traffic was, this is how often as the children of God we tend to make choices in life. As usual, we have a destiny for where we are meant to go. A purpose we are meant to fulfill in this life. A goal we are meant to achieve. A vision we are meant to make happen. A promise that God Has for us... But instead, just because the road starts looking like it's not moving because of obstacles (insert what you are facing) or adversities, we decide to take another route that we so think will help the situation. And so we start wandering through life, trying to help God to make things work faster for us. We meander and wander around life but truth be told, we are not helping anything!

I looked up the word wander and this is how the Merriam Online dictionary defines it:-

to move around or go to different places usually without having a particular purpose or direction
to follow a path with many turns
to go away from a path, course, etc.

Another great definition from the free online dictionary is :-

1. To move about without a definite destination or purpose.

2. To go by an indirect route or at no set pace; amble: wander toward town.

3. To proceed in an irregular course; meander.

4. To go astray: wander from the path of righteousness.

5. To lose clarity or coherence of thought or expression.

What we ought to do is, just to be still and wait without wandering. Its one thing to wait, and another to wait while meandering. Learn to TRUST in God who know the end from the beginning. Because He makes a way where there seems to be no way. He will remove for us the obstacles if we choose to wait well... If we choose to stay on the highway!

Have you of late found yourself in a situation whereby you are TIRED of waiting? You look at happenings in your life currently and wonder where is God in this? Is there a way out? How long Lord, how long? Hold on dears... Stay on course and have faith because the road is about to be clear. (Hebrews 11:1 - Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see) Have some hope that there is a solution because, for sure there is.

Let's show love by donating #Fulanas (Sweaters)

2013-06-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Everyone deserves to be loved and to be cared for. Everyone ought to love and show care.

This cold season is barely two weeks but its already becoming unbearable. It's winter time in Kenya.One has to get creative and dress up really warm so as not to end up trembling the whole day like a drenched sheep.Or so not to catch a cold or worse, pneumonia. People are seen cuddling on their hot water bottles, those who can, some are drinking hot water, coffee, tea, drinking chocolate or whatever throughout the day to fight the cold.

Today am rather overdressed... am wearing a sweater and a heavy jacket on top just so that I can keep myself warm. While I have an option of wearing two at ago, someone somewhere in the streets has none. And am not talking about chics who pretend they are not feeling cold by exposing themselves. Am talking about the people who live in the streets because they have no home. The street is their home and they don't have options for what to wear or how to wear. Amongst this people, there are kids, even infants and toddlers. Some of them are elderly, some disabled, but what to do, they have no option! While me and you struggle to wake up every other morning from our warm beds because we are complaining of how cold it is outside, them they are out in that cold and not just out, but lying down on cold cemented floor or if lucky, they sleep on hard cartons with some extremely dirty pieces of clothes to cover up themselves. Some get inside a sack and that's it. They sleep like that day in day out. That's their lifestyle!

That is so saddening isn't it? But feeling sorry just for the thought of it is NOT enough! There is more we can do. That is why some friends have started out a project (Hearts & Fulanas) of urging Kenyans to collect as many sweaters or anything that can keep someone warm and then to be distributed with hearts of love to this awesome but helpless people. There are designated drop-off points and contacts for calling for more clarifications.(see poster)

How to get Involved:

As I mentioned above, we ought to love and love with actions as well. Having the kind of compassion that Jesus had. Compassion is what drove Jesus to love us all.

Compassion defined: Your pain in my heart; feeling someone else's pain

Two Great truths about compassion:

Compassion is holding God and man in one thought at one time, at all times.
Compassion drives me to involvement.

My heart was so moved and convicted at the same time when I saw this project's mission. To love and hug. That is basically what they are offering. Nothing more but love. Everything in me wanted to be a part of this great idea. How can I help was the question I asked myself. And the answer, I need to get involved by donating and spreading the word too!

Once you read this, please tweet, share on Facebook, talk about it, do anything to make sure everyone is aware.

Let's spread the hug, love and donate Fulanas. Let's get involved. Won't we?

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. ⁷Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. ⁸And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. (2 Corinthians 9: 6-10)

Glamor or durability?

2013-06-18T07:06:00.000-07:00

When buying an item, what do you consider most?

As for me, I go for glamor. The design. the color... I mean, I am not about to go spend my money on some shady looking thing over there!

I always joke (but true in a way) that when I will be buying my car, I will go for the cute looking one. Cute here means the design must be unique, and it should be painted in my favorite color like lime green, hot pink, purple... you name all the beautiful bright colors you know of. I tend to overlook the main considerations like the cost, fuel consumption, the speed and any other relevancies that one is meant to go for. Anyway, I know I will need guidance when the time comes.

Recently I bought two bags. Yes I looove bags. And shoes too! :-) Anyway, I got for myself this cute bags. One a travel bag and the other one just a usual handbag for day-day purposes. As usual, I went for glamor off course! I was so excited to have the bags but just a few days of using the handbag, I noticed that the straps were not too strong and it was obvious that the bag was not going to serve me for long. It was sort of disappointing but whom was I to blame but myself? There were other bags I could have picked that looked rather durable but me, I jumped on the glamorous looking one.

While I sat there feeling sorry for myself and regretting at the same time, It occurred to me clearly that this is how Christians we can be at times when choosing to follow Jesus Christ. Many a times, people tend to decide to follow Christ perhaps based on the promises they hear the kingdom of Heaven holds ahead for them. We tend to think that salvation is all glamorous, no more troubles or suffering, no more heartbreaks, no more betrayals, no more, no more...

Then afterwards, there is the everlasting promised land flowing with milk and honey, a land where all the dangerous animals are friendly, a land where all we will be doing is sing praise and worship songs from dawn to dusk non-stop.

Above is what I can call going for glamor. Deciding to follow Christ because you think He will make your life all smooth. With such perspective, we tend to overlook the real relationship that we ought to hold in Christ. That when we decide to follow Him, it will be a life long commitment. That no matter what kind of trials may arise, we will soldier on and not give up on Him (backslide). That we will not start cursing God and start those questions of " Lord why did you allow such to happen to me?"

God did not promise us a glamorous life all through in our walk with Him. In fact, He notifies us that there will be many afflictions! But again, He assures us that He will not sit and watch us get tested beyond control. Psalms 34:19-20 reads "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, But the LORD delivers him out of them all. {20} He guards all his bones; Not one of them is broken.

As we follow Christ, it is important that our main focus be on our relationship with Him rather than what it comes with. A relationship that can not be shaken with the life's afflictions. A relationship that is not based on the good stuff only. Am not saying that Christianity is all about afflictions and hardships but just trying to stress a point. In fact it's so much fun knowing Christ. The best thing is that, there is enough grace to face whatever and He is there to fight our battles and to help us when our burdens become so heavy and unbearable.

Have you experienced any afflictions in your walk with Christ? What were some of your expectations when you chose to follow Him? If you are not yet following Him, what picture do you have in mind for living a life with Christ?

A Stranger who paid my Bus fare

2013-05-07T07:48:00.002-07:00

A stranger made my day today... or I will say my week :-) A gesture that left me really thinking that, to be a generous giver does not really require one to have plenty.

On my way to work this morning, I sat next to this guy in a matatu, a total stranger. When the tout started asking for bus fare, I was holding the money in my hand ready to give the tout then this guy seated next to me says, "wacha nilipe" (let me pay for you). He immediately gave the tout fare for two people. Something in me wanted to tell him "No, Thank you", or ask him "Why do you want to pay my fare?" but I thought that would be rude and embarrassing to him, I sat there surprised and confused.Then I looked at him keenly to see if it was someone I knew but believe you me, I have never met him anywhere before in my life. So I said thank you assuming it could be someone who probably knows me back from my neighborhood but again I wanted to confirm. I finally composed myself and popped the question, "have we met before? do you know me?" Then he looked at me and answered by another question, "kwani ni vibaya nikikulipia?" (Is it wrong if I pay for you bus fare?)

Throughout the short distance, I had tones of thoughts in my head. The first thought was that maybe he had seen potential in me and the only way to get to talk to me is through that. Looking at him, he looked like someone who needed the bus fare much more than I did. Honestly, am the one who should have paid for his fare. I could guess by how he was dressed, with torn muddy shoes that he was a casual laborer somewhere.I don't really know. Luckily, we alighted at the same bus stop and I was so eager to hear what he was going tell me. But the guy just minded his business as he walked past me. Then it was clear that he was just being kind and generous. Still amazed, I tried thanking him again, but I don't remember hearing his response and off he went... he seemed to have been late to his place of work.

I was so touched and overwhelmed. I will never understand why he did that, the only thing I did was say a prayer to God to bless him more. I pray that he never lacks anything in his life especially bus fare. That God may remember him and make him successful the rest of his life time.

This taught me great lesson. May be the guy was sowing a seed by paying for my fare? I was left thinking I don't need to have plenty to be a blessing to someone. Or someone doesn't have to appear needy for me to bless them.

Until now am still wondering what just led a total stranger pay my bus fare! Someone that one will look at and sympathize with, and honestly I did. Someone that looked really needy. The incident has refused to leave my mind completely.

A mistress? Never ever!

2013-02-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

Any woman who accepts to be some man's mistress commonly known in Swahili as mpango wa kando should know her value and worth and woman-up!

A mistress is a long-term female lover and companion who is not married to her partner; the term is used especially when her partner is married. The relationship generally is stable and at least semi-permanent; however, the couple does not live together openly. Also the relationship is usually, but not always, secret. There is an implication that a mistress may be "kept"—i.e., that the lover is paying for some of the woman's living expenses.

In the Bible, Mark 10: 7-9 " For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Notice, ....a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, NOT wives. And ....So, they are no longer two, but one.

Based on that, how does a third person come about??? Anyway I blame the "dark forces" a.k.a mashetani for that. It's not your will. But hey, you have a choice to let the "dark forces" influence you.

Before you accept to be this man's mistress, think. Think of the pain you are going to cause to his family. Think of how the children if any, are going to suffer because of you. Think of the way you are going divide attention and happiness between the man and his family. Think of the tears his wife is going to shed because of you.

Just so you know, the happiness of a mistress is just but limited.

There is no way he is going to leave his family because of you. No wonder he has kept you as a secret.

Well, sometimes it happens that you get to keep the man because he chooses to chase the wife away or she herself decides to walk away out of the humiliation the two of you makes her go through.

If in any case he decides to leave his family because of you convincing him by your threats, (you know those of...."mmh it's either me or her. Choose") just be prepared for a miserable life ahead of you because, you cannot ruin someone else's happiness and expect to be happy yourself. Never ever!

For some unknown and strange reason(s), I often tend to attract married men. It's something I have asked myself questions over and over but am yet to know why. And I know I need to seek divine answers concerning that because its really annoying! Note: I only said I attract them not that I have been in relationship with any. Or let me put it like this: They get attracted to me. You just don't know how upset I get when one approaches me.

The reason I get so worked up is because I am a victim of this inhumanity. I have seen my own mother go through the pain of losing her man (my dad) to some woman over there. Yes they are living miserably married after. Not that am happy about it, but it just confirms what I mentioned above. God is never going to be happy when you decide to destroy another person's life.

I remember the evening my mum packed her belongings and returned to her parent's home. She didn't decide to go. She was asked to, and to never dare take any child (me & my siblings) with her. Also NOT try to keep in touch with us by visiting. I was only ten years but the scenario is still so fresh in my mind as though it was yesterday. Mum was so pregnant with my baby brother now in high school - 3rd form. So pregnant here means, she gave birth to a bouncing baby boy the next day evening..... Imagine! How inhuman can a man get? She told me the story of how she walked kilometers and kilometers, so overloaded with her belongings.(in shagz there are no vehicles that one can pop in and drop off at preferred bus stop, you walk. okay that was then.....at least now its sort of developed). Lest I make you start wondering how shady my shags is :-) One would only need a vehicle for long distances. Long distance here is, when you are going to another town. Throughout the journey, she was in pain, extremely tired, mind you the amniotic fluid was pouring. That's what she told me.....

I don't like telling this story because it makes me want do give my flesh a.k.a the " old man" dominion.

Have I mentioned that I got to stay with my dad and my step mother at some point through my high school? Whaaat! that was the longest four years of my life.

To you man, I would advice you to never let your children have a step mother unless on basis that, their biological mum passed away or you never got to leave together after their birth due to mutual understating between the two of you. But still, this is only if it's necessary. If you can't raise your kids on your own and you must marry, then trust God for someone whom you know has a caring heart and will love your children as her own. There must be a few. I guess.

Thank God because of the grace He has given me and the ability to forgive my dad and my step mum. Otherwise, I will have a right to have them not to exist in my world.

So I hear this days there is a notion that has gotten hold of some sisters' minds that, there are no longer eligible men out there to be husbands. And so it's okay to be a second wife. Says who? That's crap.

Be informed that, whatever you make happen for another person, it will happen to you. If you really desire to have an enjoyable marriage that will function under faithfulness, trustworthiness, honesty and the works, then do not ruin someone else's marriage!

I will encourage you; WAIT for your own dude/man/husband. Am also waiting :-) and I will keep waiting because I know he will soon show up. You may ask how sure I am, Because God Himself has promised me that. He is not a man that He should lie and His promises are yes and Amen.

Isaiah 34:16 " Look in the scroll of the LORD and read: None of these will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together.

That's why I will never be a mistress.

Related posts:

1. WHAT IS YOUR VALUE?
2. So, you are waiting for Mr. Right.....are you a Miss Right?
3. What exactly defines a gentleman?
4. Humility is not a weakness

A simple thank you goes a long way.

2012-06-07T04:05:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gone out of your way to give someone a gift and never got a simple "thank you"? or if you did get, it was just a casual one that left you thinking OK!...you know what am saying?

It happened to me the other day. I went out of my way with excitement to buy someone a birthday gift and up to now umm, my eyes are still glued to my phone lest I receive a call from the said person just to say aaaw...thanks I liked the gift very much :-). My love language is words of affirmation you can tell?. You see, I had spent the entire week wondering what to buy for them. Then viola! I got this great idea and bought some sweet things (Ha! so I think...) Yes I was waiting for feedback so that I may know if I made a good choice.

Okay, the way I handed the gift was in a hurry maybe that's why I never got even a hug but at least I got a smile :-)

I knew we would catch up later and receive that tight hug you know! but nothing. Then I was like...eeh why did I even bother? Instantly while I was still whining, this thought came to my mind; How many times has God blessed me with THINGS and I never even remembered to say a simple thank you?

How many times have I prayed and even fasted for God to bless me? To intervene in a tough situation? and yet when He did, I acted like it was my right to get it. Or all I did was just saying wow thank God I got this. Or even I did not notice the blessing when it came. So sad I even called it a good luck....a nice day for me. All the same knowing very well I don't believe in luck. By the way does good luck ever exist? Or I gave credit to the person whom God had used to pass the gift to me... asking God to return to them a hundred fold because they blessed me with something I really needed. Without putting God in the picture.

This got my heart so broken before God. I asked God to forgive me for ignoring Him even when He Has given me sooo much more abundantly far above what I had asked and what I hadn't asked for.

The most precious gift I have ever received is Love, Mercy and Grace from God. So precious because, He went the extra mile to GIVE HIS ONLY SON to die brutally just so I may receive eternal life.

Yet, how many times do I just take time to thank God from the bottom of my heart for this Great Gift? I mean just dedicating special time to do so. When I wake up every morning, how many times do I even remember to thank God for the gift of life knowing very well its a privilege to see a new day? Do I make it a consistent thing to thank God for my family, for my friends, for my nation and for my Job?

You know, think about it, if God was a human being like me and you, He would have so given up on us a long time ago.

He does not come to us demanding for a "Thank you" and attention. He is such a gentleman :-) Not petty. So marvelous for me to fathom.

Just to mention and another privilege, Never in my entire life have I been sick to a point of getting admitted to the hospital. I don't know how hospital beds feels to lie on them and I do not wish to feel them any day. Another privilege, since the year began and its half way to end, I have not caught even a cold. I have not had a headache nor a stomachache or anything to make me take medicine.

What can I call this if its not amazing Grace?

Who will call me a friend when the relationship here is not always two way?

So Lord... please forgive me for the many times I have taken you for granted.(Ask me and like Simon Peter, I will deny three times before the cock crows) Yet its so true. Forgive me for not loving you unconditionally as I should. Forgive me for searching for you enthusiastically only when am in desperate situations...that time when am pressed between two rocks.

But how His mercy endures forever!

Thank you Lord for Amazing Grace. Thank you for NOT giving up on me. Thank you for Loving me unconditionally.

Am truly Grateful.

What are you thankful to God about?share with us in the comments section below.

If you liked this post, you might also like:

1. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

2. WHAT IS YOUR VALUE?

3. Humility is not a weakness.

4. Starting well.

Humility is not a weakness.

2012-04-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

I was chatting with two of my girlfriends some day, and the topic of our discussion was "What are some of the attitudes that God has dealt with in our lives?" One of us shared on how God has dealt with her pride and is still dealing with it.

You see, growing spiritually never gets to a point of "I now know enough and am good in this area." It is a daily process and all you need to do is just to humble yourself before the Lord, and let Him point out any time the areas that needs more fixing. This girl believed/believes in herself extremely. Which is a great strength by the way but when it gets to a point whereby you cannot be corrected or you start looking down upon others, it becomes a weakness right there.

One funny incident of my friend's confessions that really made us laugh out loudly was when she was meant to be auditioned for some choir. So, the people in charge of the auditions asks her if she can sing and He! the girl was o-f-f-e-n-d-e-d big time. "What do you mean can I sing?" She thought to herself. As it was required therefore, she began singing with attitude just to prove that she can sing and this people seems to think she can not. In other words, to be auditioned was a way doubting her talent. She believed 110% that she could sing better. I mean, this was not going to be the first time for her to sing!

The obvious of the outcome was, Disqualified! The reason she was disqualified was not because she could not sing but because of pride that she had.

Since that time, it dawned on her that she was wrong. God began to deal with her thoroughly. She just realized that her pride was not going to take her anywhere.

Pride is one thing that God really hates. It was pride that made Lucifer (Satan) to be thrown down from heaven when he tried to exalt himself above God. Ezekiel 28:17 (NIV) "Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendour.So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings."

It is evident that no one has ever tried to uplift himself and succeeded. All who tried failed just like the story of the Tower of Babel in the Bible and so,1st Peter 5:6 says, " Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that He may in due time raise you up.

Whoever makes himself prominent will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be set high.

We serve a merciful God and of a second chance. All we need to do is just surrender. To come to that place where we can say, God am so sorry, I have tried to be the driver but ended up falling into a ditch and so, I need your help. It does not cost you anything to be sorry. It might be a process but God is always patient with us.

The prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 came back to His senses and decided to go and ask his father if could make him as one of his hired servants. see his words; Vs. 18 "I will rise and go to my father and say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I no longer deserve to be called your son; take me on as one of your hired hands." That is humility right there.Realizing and accepting your mistakes and knowing you need help.

Have you struggled with pride before? How did you deal with it? Encourage someone.

or

Are you currently struggling with pride? Let us hear how you are willing to walk out of it in the comments section below.

So, you are waiting for Mr. right... are you a Miss right?

2012-02-01T05:37:00.000-08:00

Every single girl dreams of hooking up with "Mr. right" some day.True or false?

Especially during this beginning of the year while everyone is making new resolutions.

By the way, does Mr. right ever exist? Yes. No. Maybe.

Mr. right here, is the famous tall, dark and handsome or a man who has taste in fine things like clothing and gadgets, treats you as a queen, has a good paying job with a big company, drives a nice big car and lives in some respected residential area and is generous to shower her with many gifts.

A part from him owning the "fine things", he's got to have other characteristics that most women would term it as "added advantages". He has to be a man who lets her pass through the door or the gate first, opens the car door for her, pulls a sit for her at the restaurant, is proud to walk with her while holding hands e.t.c

OK, well. I know it's not all women who are into all this, but let's be real. I hear every aspiring wife has this list of expectations of the would be husband and if they don't have one, then its considered as a serious requirement.

In pursuit to all this characteristics, it has led to prolonged singleness to some of my sisters. All I know from the knowledge I have acquired is that, NOT every man will have all this requirements. Surely sisters! don't you think that's too much of expectation from someone? or is it too overrated?

Off course every lady would want to be pampered, but watch out not miss the mark while focusing on the earthly things that fades away. I totally agree. No woman would want to hook up with some unkempt and irresponsible guy or a guy who does not value women and has got no respect to them whatsoever.

My point is, by the time a woman thinks of being found by a "Mr. right", she should have prepared her self to be a "Miss right" first. You can only attract one of your kind. So ironical it happens, we put so much focus on what we want and forget to consider who we should be.

You can not be asking God to bring along a man who will be faithful to you while you are sleeping around in your singlehood. A man who will respect and love you unconditionally while you are struggling with submission to those in authority over you. A man who will protect and take care of you while you are careless with your own self. A man who is hardworking while you are lazy and unreliable. I could go on and on but all am trying to imply is, before you ask for something, evaluate yourself to see if you can offer the same. And what you do now as a single woman, it will determine the future you want.If you know you are not so strong in any area, then you can start early preparations as the grace is ever sufficient and the Lord grants you your heart desires.

The book of Proverbs 31 in the bible inspired me to write this article after I read that chapter the other day and I was taken aback by the new revelation. It talks about the strengths of a woman. A Godly woman. The kind of woman that the man is told about her in Proverbs 18:22. She is a goodly portion and earns him favour from the Lord.

From this chapter, let's have a look at some strengths and characteristics that an aspiring (even married) Godly wife should have in my own summarized form.

Reading from verse 10:

She is a woman of character.

She is trustworthy.

She is submissive.

She is wise.

She is hardworking.

She is responsible.

She is Visionary - she sees the future from now.

She is a protector.

She is descent.

She is not a gossiper.

She is a blessing.

She is praiseworthy.

She is irreplaceable or non-comparable.

She is God fearing - she reveres the LORD.

Who can find a woman with strength of character? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will never lack profit.

"Many daughters have done nobly, but you transcend them all." Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who reveres the LORD will be praised. Acknowledge the product of her hands; let her works praise her in the gates.

And my prayer is that may every baby girl be found with this great qualities. Let's kill that notion of "This days it's hard to find a woman to marry." Let our characters be displayed in all that we do,wherever we go,and whatever we say.AMEN!

Starting well.

2012-01-03T06:18:00.000-08:00

Towards the end of 2011, I attended a powerful kesha (overnight prayer meeting) and the minister of God was sharing with us in conclusion to a series of messages he had been teaching on, themed "Finishing well".

Obviously it was not finishing well the year 2011, but this journey/walk with our Lord Jesus Christ.

On finishing well, he pointed out that it requires one to be determined. To be determined is not a gift but a choice by the way. It is to decide or settle for something conclusively.

In my world this brand new year 2012, as everyone else is busy setting new year's resolutions, we are going to twist the "Finishing well" to "Starting well" as an idea for some resolutions to those of us who might find it helpful.

Pretty much, Starting well also requires determination.

For you start well, you need to:

1. Know who you are.

Its really hard to start well if at all you don't know yourself.

Many of us tend to think that other people should be able to define us (including myself sometimes).

Focus on finding yourself. When you know yourself, you will not struggle with what you want to become or about what others think of you.

2. know what/who you want to become.

Many people have dreams of power, popularity, wealth and many more but there is another kind of dream that is even more powerful and far more fulfilling. Finding and following God's dream for our lives.

Search yourself and find that one thing that puts a smile on your face when you do it. Ask God for guidance and pursue it.

3. Choose to be free.

(Galatians 5:1) "For this freedom Christ has liberated us. Stand firm, then and do not be held fast again by a yoke of servitude". This is one of the scriptures that am holding on to this year.

You need to be free this year. Free from things that have been holding you captive (you know them). Take the initiative to set some goals for your life. Refuse to be a slave to your failures if any.

4. Take care of your relationships.

One of the greatest relationships you need to take care of, is with our creator. If you have a personal one with Him,take it a notch higher. If you don't have it yet, what are are you waiting for? His arms are wide open waiting to receive you.

Your family should come first after God. Purpose to spend quality time with them. Cultivate that closeness that you share. Stand firm with them in whatever they might be going through whether good or bad.

Your friends (those with good morals) also play a big role in your life. Communication is a key and is channeled from both sides. When it's one person driving the relationship and silence from the other end, then there is a problem.

Relatives. See who you haven't talked to, called or visited in a long time and create time to do so. We need them dearly in our lives. (if you are not married yet, they are the ones that will fill a larger percentage of guests on your wedding day. you see!) :-)

5. Stick to your goals. Avoid procrastination.

It's almost a tradition that resolutions are made but very few are achieved by the end of the year.Well,as we said from the beginning, determination is not a gift but what? a choice!.

You make it a choice to make possible what you desire. No one else is responsible for your life but you. Purpose to complete tasks. Give yourself a deadline for your goals.Quit saying I will do this later.

What exactly defines a gentleman?

2011-12-19T07:26:00.000-08:00

The new choice English dictionary defines gentleman as: A man of good family and social standing; a courteous; generous and honourable man; a polite term of address.

Now,as there is this saying in Swahili that says tembea uone mengi (travel to see a lot).hehe...I know that sounds like direct translation.Does it? but again its self explained anyway.

So, in my world and in the process of traveling, for sure I have seen a lot in regards to the definition above for a gentleman.In that case, I have been left wondering what is it that really defines a gentleman? and by the way,do you need to know me so that you can act like one? so that you can be courteous?

The beauty about blogging is that, I get to to let go of what/how I feel and somehow get relieved :-)

Here is one of my encounters with a not so gentleman guy.....but I don't blame him.Though, am going to use him as an example.

As I was walking home from work the other day , some guys who clearly looked like they were coming from a mjengo (construction site) happened to be coming behind me and greeted me as they passed. Actually it was one of them who said hi. As usual, I did not keep quite (like some ladies do) when someone who does not know me says hello to me regardless of who it is.Though, it sometimes depends on how you approach me.

So, this guy after I have been nice to him by greeting him back, he started getting ideas of taking it further. This are guys who were walking faster while behind me,then after greeting me, they slowed their pace and the next thing he shamelessly tells me is, "madam uko smart, ni come for intro? " ("madam you look good, can I come for introductions?").Well at least he was a little courteous here to request. Then in my mind am thinking Ok! it has come to this now! off course I didn't answer.I decided to seal my lips and just ignore them because honestly!. The guy talks and talks but believe you me, I didn't even hear a thing of what he was saying.The only thing I remember is when he said, "madam na umesalimika tu poa, sasa umeanza kuringa? na vile unakaa mature.tumeona weeengi kwanza wa Lavi sasa wewe ndio nani?" ("madam and you responded well, now you have begun to feel proud? and the way you look mature. we have seen so many in fact those from Lavington so whom do you think you are?"). Lavington is another posh residential area over there near my place.

Let me tell you this got me into my nerves.But clearly, how do you even start giving this kind of a person a piece of your mind? But luckily we diverted ways.

Have you ever seen during rush hour when people are "fighting" to enter into a matatu (public transport) the way some men push women while they struggle to enter first? well,this happens mostly in Nairobi. I am not sure about other places though. This act really upsets me.How I wish all men were sensitive and treat women like princesses whether they know them or not. By the way,will you as a man do that to a lady you know very well? So why would you treat a stranger like that? It's a small world remember.You never know where we will meet the next time.

To be courteous does not cost you anything.does it?

There are a couple of points that if I was a man, I would apply in my life so that every woman around me would feel appreciated,loved,cared for and most of all feel like she is a princess....

I will let her go through the door first whether I know her or not.

It's really impolite when a man forces himself to pass first.especially in a public transport.(this is where you loose a lot of marks as a man).

I will share my umbrella.

Have you ever seen when its raining, and a guy has this big umbrella all by himself and a lady is being rained on? selfish!

I will not squash her in a bus/matatu.

It's really mean when a man seated next to a lady in a bus takes up almost all the space while sitting legs apart forcing her to seat on half a seat.shameless!

I Will help her to carry her luggage.

When walking and you happen to see a lady struggling with her shopping,it is kind to just offer some help up to where you can.thank you :-)

I will handle her like a lady.

Now, have you ever seen when a man is handling a lady like as though she is another man? digress!

And for you man who beats up a woman,worse is when she is not even your wife yet.how?! that's the ungentlemanly of the highest degree.anyway....that's a story for another day.

So, always remember that to be courteous is a virtue.won't you?

What is the Ideal Christmas gift?

2011-12-16T07:12:00.000-08:00

Yey! Its Christmas again!

Mmh! let me think of my Christmas memories. Yeah, in my childhood, I have known Christmas to be a time when you get to eat some type of food that you have stayed for long without eating.(yes everyone has a past). A time when my family members who lived in town came to a shags (village) for the holiday and for family reunion (and yes I partly grew up in the village). A time when whoever came from the town brought for us (me,my siblings and cousins) new clothes so that we could look good like our neighbors. A time when we could perform in church some Christmas play that we had been practicing for a couple of weeks.

Talk of celebrating Christmas without a revelation.

Anyway we are talking about Christmas gifts not memories.

By the way is Christmas all about receiving and giving out gifts?

I think yes its good to give or receive gifts but, do it all out of a revelation.isn't it?

So,when we talk about giving gifts out of a revelation,what does it really mean? To me first and fore most, this is a season when we(Christians) celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.Though there are many controversial stories of when Christ was exactly born but me one thing I know is that its His birthday that is the reason for the season.

Christ was given to us as a gift by God Himself as His only child out the abundant love He had for us.He is a gift that was given unto us mankind to come and free us from chains and bondage.To come and bring us hope. To come and show us how to love.The list is endless of what He as the gift really brought to us.

Now, lets focus on we as individuals,what kind of gifts can we offer to our fellow mankind?

I think we don't really need to be complicated.Just a simple out the heart action will do.

Maybe just to share of some examples of gift we can give:

Purpose to show some love to those around you.And make it a lifestyle (Yes love is a gift)
Purpose to forgive.God forgave us by offering His son as a sacrifice so that we can be clean.
Purpose to share. God is not selfish.If you have some extra of something or that little,make sure to share with whoever does not have.
Purpose to take care of yourself. (yes you can give yourself a gift).The best gift you can give back to God is taking good care of yourself.
Purpose to give thanks.Take time to reflect on the goodness and mercies of the Lord.It is not automatic that you have come this far.He has been Ebenezer.

Gifts to receive:

Accept an apology.In case someone wronged you and they ask for forgiveness from you,purpose to accept it.Let go of any kind of bitterness
Salvation.Its a free gift given to us as sinners that we may accept Christ in our lives.God is longing for the day you will accept the gift so that you and Him can think and talk the same.
Peace.Its a gift from God for us to just forget all the things you have gone through and just relax.Let Him handle the case.He is an expert.

This year I purpose to have a different kind of Christmas. Just to reflect on what Christmas really means,try and comprehend the revelation beneath it.You too, I challenge you have a different kind of Christmas this year.A different one from the typical that you are used to.If you think you have been on point,try and take it a little higher.

From my world to you, we take the opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas full of revelation,a peaceful one, an extraordinary one,and full of Joy.

Stay blessed.

WHAT IS YOUR VALUE?

2011-11-09T06:44:00.000-08:00

I guess what is ringing in your mind after reading the heading above is, how dare she ask this question? Does she think I am a commodity to be valued by money? Relax! It is not that way.

This is something I personally have been disturbed with for quite some time now. If you have a yahoo account, probably you have gotten this in your inbox that so and so bought you on tagged. After getting these funny messages for quite some time, ignoring and deleting many of them because they are kind of a nuisance, one time I decided to open one and just see how on earth this person thinks I can cost. And there is even a price in dollars. Believe you me I did not start calculating the amount because I knew if I do, I will be very disappointed with whomever. Anyway it’s because it did not matter to me what a mere person will try to put value on me.

For many reasons, people tend to put value on others based on what they expect from them or let me say, what they perceive of them.

For instance:

To a politician, you are just but a vote.

In my Country Kenya, the general elections are just around the corner. The politicians are now trying “to be nice” to their potential voters. One thing that really amazes me is when they (politicians) see/counts people as votes. You will hear them say they are expecting a certain number of votes in a particular area rather than to say, they are expecting a certain number of voters.

To the Matatu crew (public service vehicle operators), you are just but the amount you are paying for that ride.

On many occasions, I have overheard the touts tell the driver beba pesa or usiwache pesa (don’t leave money). For the period you are in that vehicle, you are compared to money because that is what matters to them and not you as a person.

To a television news anchor, you are just but a viewer (mtazamaji).

They will greet you “good morning or good evening viewers”. You are just one who views or watches. Really! By the way don’t get me wrong here. Am just trying to prove a point OK!

To a radio presenter, you are just but a listener (msikilizaji).

They will refer to you as a listener.mmh! Though some presenters are quite considerate and they will acknowledge that they don’t take your listenership for granted. That is so awesome and you just don’t know what it means to me when I hear that. You know, there are so many radio stations this days that someone can actually choose to listen to but for you to identify one and stick to it, when you are appreciated its just makes you feel at home.hehe

This are just but a few I could mention.

While the world is trying to brand us, I have realized that many people as a result, suffer from identity syndrome in that, they cannot tell who they actually are.

Well I have some good news for you. You are not forgotten. You are a child of the most high God. He knows your name. He calls each one of us by our respective names. He knew you even before your parents conceived you. To Him, you are not just a vote, a viewer, or a listener but His beloved. You are sooo valuable to Him.

He went the extra mile and paid a huge price for you and me. That we may know and comprehend who we really are. He gave His only son Jesus, to die for me and you that we may be redeemed back to Him for we were lost. We didn’t have identity. Or rather we had a bad identity. We were branded as “the lost” imagine! But now we have a new name in Christ. We are called, the redeemed of the Lord. The friends of God, the children of God and the list are endless for what He perceives of us.

There is this powerful quote I read, though the author is unknown to me. It says, until you identify whose you are, then you will know who you are.

So, for you who already you have been given a new name after accepting Christ as your saviour, why struggle with what the world says you are and yet you know whose you are? You have a new name so quit doubting about who you are. Have total confidence. You were bought with a veeery precious gift, the blood of Jesus. You are valuable!

And for you who are yet to accept Him, He is waiting on you my dear. This world has nothing to offer but to brand you some unworthy names. But trust me, you are worthy, you are valuable, you are special, yes you are! He is waiting eagerly for the day you will understand how much it cost Him for you to leave again. The day you will not let that precious prize go to waste and say, here I am LORD! I surrender all. Take me to your self.

Knowing who you are is depended upon believing in yourself. Know your value and stand firm in it.

Here are a few lines for you to help in believing in who you are:

When the world tells you you will never ever amount to anything, Say NO am not, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
When the world calls you stupid, say NO am not, I have the mind of Christ!
When the world tells you can’t make it in life, say NO, I am more than a conqueror!
When the world says you are a nobody, say you know whose you are!

You are Valuable….

STOP wishing to write for someone,Be your own Chief Editor!!!

2011-09-22T06:12:00.000-07:00

This one I dedicate it to any aspiring writer out there (including me) or a writer already, but never been successful to have your articles published by the "media house".you have tried sending your articles to various places and the only response you get is maximum silence.Don't give up yet! just create your own blog and write your heart away.

Worst is,someone actually publishes your article but they never inform you about it.You get into utter excitement and/or surprise when a friend calls to tell you they saw your name in a certain magazine.So you actually buy the publication and its for real.Your very first article ever published!yey!!!. you sit there waiting just perhaps you get a call form the Editor. After along time of waiting,you decide to write an email to them for follow up just incase you will get any pay and you never get to hear from them forever.

That is exactly what happened to me, now a year and some months ago.I remember how much it cost me working on that article.The research I had to get from the internet because it was a topic that required either experience or I be very well informed.I remember going to bed at three O'clock in the morning and not to forget I was supposed to be going to work the next day.Oh,the the next few hours.The painful part is not even that I was never paid,but the fact that this was my first attempt as a writer and very fortunate for that matter to have it published. In return, what did I get?no motivation at all to keep writing. My enthusiasm was exchanged for heartbreak and no eagerness to write more.Yes I understand that the magazine is not doing well in the market but really?

Many thanks to my mum two and mentor,Anne Mbotela for pressuring me(in a good way) to write. As she would always ask me if am writing every single time we meet. Awww...and how she believes in me.God bless her.

Recently, I decided that you know what Jess, am not going to let my dream to be shuttered by someone I don't even know quite well.(by the way am currently working for one of the famous magazines in Kenya,doing something else not writing.and I've never mentioned to anyone about my interest). So, here I am. I decided to create this blog so I can be pouring my heart down and oooh... am having so much fun. First of all its my world :-) and I am the queen/president hehehe. Secondly, I believe its my tool to sharpen my skill on this journey of writing.On that matter,feel free to critique my mistakes any day you come across them because its a learning process. Politely though, I am a lady you know!

I was reading one of the daily newspaper the other day, and this article at the Jobs section caught my attention.The heading read, "Jobless? Be unique,think outside the box''. So, I had to read and see what it was talking about. It talked about this Irish man by the name Feilim Mac An Iomaire. This guy decided to place a billboard reading: "Save me from emigration". For the effect,it had a picture of the 26-year-old towing luggage and facing national landmarks of selected cities across the world."Having tried and failed for months and exhausted all traditional job hunting avenues,I have decided to have one last throw of the dice to remain in Ireland before I am forced to look elsewhere for work and develop myself professionally," he was quoted.

This guy's act of faith managed to secure him a "dream job". Sounds like fiction right? but I thought this is awesome and challenging at the same time in the sense that, determination can sure work wonders.

Just to borrow from this creativity,you don't have to place a bill board literally like him, but hey! why not create your own blog and pour your thoughts down?because this will market as you never know who will read!this is internet. Well,this will work for you if you are like me. Am not reeeaaally (sorry, that's meant to sound like stressing) into writing for money.

May be along the way.... it will fall in place.

Stop waiting to see the day your articles will appear in someone's publication....it's not a bad thing but,if you get what am saying,you can do something before that.You never know where your step of believing in yourself and act of faith will take you.

Happy blogging!!!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!

2011-09-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

Yes praise the Lord reader! First I congratulate myself for creating this brand new blog, its has been really a hard task......I must admit. It has taken me more than three times and finally today!hooray!!!!!!!!. one reason is that I discovered every name I tried was in use but eventually I managed, then the information I entered was never saved,and then ooh I couldn't remember my password imagine! then when I was just about to give up....here it is.Am the kind of person that don't like small things making me sweat mentally and this is one reason why I never liked maths in school.

So,back to praising the Lord.Isn't it amazing how the Muslim community would greet each other Salaam Aleikum and the other person answers back Aleikum Salaam confidently??? and they don't care who is around or listening, whether its a fellow Muslim or not? My concern therefore, is for the believers who are called by the Name of the most High God and are followers of Christ. Its almost like a taboo to greet each other "PRAISE THE LORD". Or even when they do,they are looking around sheepishly to see who just heard them say that. and this reminds me of that verse in the Bible where Jesus says "if you deny Me before men,I will deny you before my Father..." ouch.

So, the next time we are greeted "PRAISE THE LORD" let us proudly answer back P.R.A.I.S.E T.H.E L.O.R.D! with psych as though we know whom we believe in. Amen?