This is me.....Then

God's Favor

2018-01-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

I started a Google discussion group back in 2010 with a few of my associates, friends and family members. The name of this discussion group was Life Talk and it's purpose was just to share thoughts and opinions about life. Typically, someone would ask a question or share a thought with the discussion group and interested parties would answer/comment. I recently came across one of these posts and decided to share some of the archives over the coming weeks.

This post was titled, "God's Favor." I am including the original question and the response that I gave.

18 June 2012 - Question

It's something we should all be familiar with hearing about especially those of us who grew up in the church. You've heard people mention how these wonderful things happened for them b/c they have "GOD's FAVOR".

So I wonder what exactly is God's Favor? How is it determined who receives God's favor? Do you think it's luck of the draw? Either you're born with it or not? Is it reserved for an elite few? If so, what happens to all the rest of us who don't have the favor of God? Do we just have to go about life living it however we see fit and just deal with the outcome?

I'm curious to know what you guys think of it.

12 July 2012 - My Response

I think that favor is two-fold. There is unmerited favor that you get, but may not necessarily deserve, and there is favor that you have gotten based on your actions/faith, etc. (which, still you may or may not deserve).

Within these two types of favor, I think there is also an element of how you look at and interpret "favor."

I was listening to an advice show online (Dr. Laura) earlier this week and there was a lady (Lisa) on there who had an incredible story.

Lisa was born to a prostitute mother and an unknown father. Her mom tried to abort her, but the abortion clinic would not allow it because she had already had 20 abortions prior. The lady survived utero (in the belly) beatings by her mom’s pimp, but was born healthy. While Lisa was a baby, her mom abandoned her (and the pimp). Her mom’s pimp left Lisa on the steps of one of his relatives, who didn’t really want her but raised her off-and-on until adulthood. Lisa told stories of how the relative would just put her out on the streets when she didn’t feel like being bothered and for much of her teenage years, she was homeless….sleeping in the band room at school or at friend’s houses whose parents felt bad for her.

In a strange twist of events, Lisa was smart…..very smart….and she found acceptance and validation in teachers who appreciated and praised her hard work. Lisa graduated salutatorian of her high school class and received scholarships and student loans to go away to college and support herself…..through graduate school. When she graduated her Master’s program, she got a top notch job as an aerospace engineer. She used the money she earned to get eye surgery (oh yeah…..she was also born, legally blind), get her own house and begin paying off her student loans.

Lisa called the radio show for two reasons.

1) She was recently put up for a promotion at her job, which required she get a top security clearance from the government. While all the background checks and tests were being performed, she found out that she had herpes, which she had from birth…..and was the cause of her previous eyesight issues. She had never had any outbreaks, so never knew she had this until these tests were performed. Ever since she found this out, all the old memories of her as a baby began flooding back to her and making her depressed. She didn’t know what to do?

2) While her job as an aerospace engineer was financially rewarding and had done well in making her a more balanced person, Lisa felt that she had a greater calling in life. She wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to do, but knew it involved helping other people throughout the world to overcome (esp. in 3^rd world countries) their hardships. Her issue was that she still had all these outstanding student loans to pay off and wasn’t sure what to do or how to transition into a whole new field.

Of course, Dr. Laura gave her advice and offered her encouragement and praise, but that is not the point of my story, so I will overlook the advice given. My point is to use this story to illustrate my point. Did Lisa have God’s favor or was she one of those people left out in the cold? Lisa had a very, very, very challenging life. More difficult than any of us have experienced.

However, she was alive, had all of her limbs, was intelligent, an overall good person and a survivor. Isn’t that God’s favor? Aren’t there people on respirators or people who can’t speak or comprehend what’s going on around them? What did Lisa or any of her absentee parents/family do to deserve this favor? What about those people she wants to help in the 3^rd world countries? She’s way better off than them. Why was she able to escape those circumstances and be born in America, where she can create her own destiny, per se.? (Unmerited Favor)

Given her circumstances, Lisa could have easily given up on life. She, herself, could have decided to become a prostitute to support herself as a young teen. She could have drowned her problems with booze and drugs. However, she chose to work hard and survive. Had she done some of the aforementioned things, she could be dead now. She could have AIDS. She could be in jail or she could be sleeping on the streets. Instead, she has a good job, a nice home and clear eyesight. While, things could’ve turned out differently, her faith and actions helped to put her in a place where her life improved tremendously….and is a lot better than some of the people who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths and parents that pampered them until the very end. (somewhat Merited Favor)

The third part of this is the interpretation. Would you say that Lisa did not have God’s favor as a child because she went through all these things or would you say that it was part of God’s favor that chose her to go through all of these things, so that she could be used for his glory and have an impact on thousands of people? Perhaps she wouldn’t have gotten as far as she has gotten, if she had grown up in a functional family. Perhaps she would’ve been self-centered and not considered others and what they needed.....and no one would be saved.

Russell Simmons and the Meaning of Consent

2017-12-01T08:28:00.000-05:00

It all started when I was 5 years old. After lunch, we had to go back to our classroom, sit at a shared round table and rest our heads on the desk. The little boy across the table whispered my name, “Faunya.” He motioned for me to look under the table and I did. I was shocked and appalled at what he had to show me. I grimaced and rested my head back on the table, avoiding eye and physical contact with this little boy for the rest of the school year.

20 years later, I had brought my first home. I was a single women in NY with a good job and a property in her name. The one problem was that my expenses doubled. Luckily, I was a single woman in NY, so it wasn’t very difficult for me to find a way to make extra money on the side. I trained to be a tax preparer and was hired by Jackson Hewitt to work in a newly opened office on the upper west side of Harlem. My boss was a minister, a husband and a father of 5 children. He was also a cheater. During the slow days, we had plenty of time to talk and our conversations ranged from work to God to marriage and everything in between. He always made small innuendos that let me know that he found me attractive and would be interested in more than just work-related interactions with me, but I would always pretend that I didn’t notice or just otherwise let him know that I was not interested.

However, one night after a long day of filing taxes, he offered to take myself and few of my other colleagues out to dinner. Unfortunately, I am horrible at turning down free food. We had a fun night of eating and conversation at a soul food spot in Harlem. He then offered to drop me off and I agreed. Once we arrived in the front of my building, we talked for a little while in the car and then he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and said that it was time for me to get going. He offered to make sure I made it into my apartment safely and I agreed. As foolish as it was, I agreed. He didn’t just walk me to my door, but also found his way into my apartment. Again, he started to come on to me physically by touching and kissing, etc. While I was clearly the weaker being, I exerted enough strength to push him away or at least make it difficult for him to continue. While I did make it verbally clear that I was not interested at all and that he should be at home with his family, I chose my words (and actions) very carefully. I had no intention of leaving or losing my job. He tried to smooth talk me some more and ‘make it difficult for me to say no,’ but after realizing that it wasn’t going to work, he lamented and left.

Were there moments in our interaction where I felt pressure? Yes. Were there moments in our interaction where I felt a pang of fear? Yes. Was I foolish for letting this man in my house? Yes. Did I want to have sex with this married man? No. If I had not pushed him off and allowed him to have sex with me, would that be considered rape?

According to many of the accounts that have been released lately, yes. According to my personal account, I’m not so sure. I would have gone along with something I really didn’t want to do and I’m sure that I would’ve felt ashamed and deeply regretted it. However, I don’t know that I could say that I was raped.

I recently shared an article on Facebook about how we need to teach our sons how to NOT rape. This is true, but more importantly, we need to teach our sons about respect and mutual desires. In my opinion, Russell Simmons is not guilty of rape. He is guilty of being a jerk and not caring if the woman he had sex with was mutually desiring to engage with him.

There is a very thin line and I think that if we teach our boys (I don’t have any sons, but you get the picture) to respect themselves and to value themselves enough to not have any interest in having sex with someone who is less than interested in having sex with them, then there wouldn’t be any confusion in knowing if they raped someone or not.

We need to teach our girls how to make wise decisions, how to respect their bodies and the meaning of consent. When someone is trying to do something to you that you do not want, it is our job as women to make it clear that you are not consenting to their actions. If we are passive, then we are allowing these men who have no respect for us and our bodies to take advantage of us. Our inaction is our consent.

What I Want circa 2008 and Other Late Night Musings

2017-11-21T22:19:00.000-05:00

In March 2009, I copied and pasted a wish list in my Facebook notes, entitled "What I Want...."
A year earlier, I had written this and posted it to MySpace, but when MySpace became lame, I decided that it was time to move my list of wants to a platform where everyone was starting to switch to....Facebook

At the time, I was dating, 'in love' and almost 30 years old. At the time, my mom was struggling with cancer and eventually succumbed a little over 3 months later. I felt that I was ready for marriage and this is what I felt that I wanted:

WHAT I WANT....

Love, Unconditionally.

Someone who is able to accept me for who I am today and while accepting my current standing, is able to support my future growth.

Someone who is able to speak for and think for themselves.

Someone who accepts their own life, while constantly striving to become better.

Maturity. Someone who is able to accept that yesterday is gone, will never return again and is better off that way.

Truthfulness to God, myself, themselves and everyone around them.

Someone who adores me, wants to please me, spend time with me and appreciates the woman that I am.

Someone who looks out for and can protect me.

Someone who is always there when I need them....even if there is nothing they can do to help me....they are there, supporting me every step of the way...trying.

Someone who finds me worth it....worth giving up relationships that pull us apart....worth accepting a new life in place of the old....worth going against the popular vote to express their love and dedication towards me....worth enduring ridicule for something/someone they believe in.

Today, I am a 39 year old woman with a husband and two daughters. While I still love this list (not much has changed), I randomly was thinking of my wish list the other day and posted the following:

- Someone with incredible character and integrity
- Someone who both amazes me and thinks I'm magic
- Someone with confidence
- Someone that makes me better and inspires me to be better
- Someone who loves to learn and is always working towards growth*
- A partner, an asset, a covering.

Now, all I need to do is work on becoming the person that I want....

* I just added this one on the fly :-)

The Life of a Full-Time Working Mom And Her Extreme Commute

2016-02-13T23:17:00.000-05:00

Welcome to This is me…..Then! If you like what you see, subscribe here for free updates, or you can “like” my Facebook page here and receive new posts in your news stream. Once you like my page, you can choose to see posts in your newsfeed first or receive a notification for each post made. Thanks for visiting! This post may contain affiliate links.

I'm from New York City and he is from the country bumpkin outskirts of Southern New Jersey. When we married, the only logical thing to do was to find a home that would serve as a half-way point to our families and commutes to work (Check out my About Me page).

We chose Central New Jersey. His commute was 40 minutes each way. My commute was approximately 2 hours each way. Hardly a half way point, but we made it work.

Three years later, we had a baby girl and named her Selah. She is one of God's greatest gifts to me and I knew that going back to work after the customary 3 months was not going to work for me. So, I took 6 months off. Then, I went back part-time.....for a month. Then my typical weekday life began to play out like this:

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4:55am - I wake up, read a bible verse and commentary on my First 5 app and write my thoughts on the subject.

5:00am - I go to the bathroom, shower, brush my teeth, etc. If I have time and if I remember, I will spend 5 minutes doing a quick 'swish and swash' to maintain the cleanliness of our bathroom.

5:30am - I get my clothes out and iron them and otherwise prepare myself to get dressed.

5:45am - Our darling Selah is usually up by now, so I let her sit on the potty for a while before washing her up and getting her dressed.

6:00am - I get dressed and prepare to leave.

6:15am - My alarm goes off. That means I need to finish wrapping up any loose ends, kiss my family goodbye and head out the door. I walk 1/2 mile to the bus. I usually listen to a sermon podcast during my morning commute. (TD Jakes, Joyce Meyer & Rick Warren are my favorites.)

6:35am - I catch the 606 to Hamilton Rail Station and wait for the train.

6:56am - I continue listening to my podcast, check emails, look at social media and sleep during my train ride into NYC.

7:15am - My husband drops our daughter off at daycare and then heads to work himself. He changed jobs 6 months ago, so his commute is now about 20 minutes.

7:58am - Although the train is scheduled to arrive in New York Penn Station at 7:58am, it rarely does. Either way, once I get off of the train, I walk approximately 2 miles to my job. In extreme weather conditions, I catch the subway.

8:00am - My husband arrives at work and sends me a text to let me know he made it there safely.

8:20am - I arrive at work, text my husband, make my tea and then get to work!

12:30pm - I usually take a lunch break at this time. My lunch break typically consists of running errands and then scarfing food down my throat while I work because my lunch break is over. Sometimes I do the opposite. I'll eat food at my desk while I work, then I'll leave the job and run errands during my lunch break.

5:00pm - I pack up my bags and I head home, starting with a 2 mile walk back to the NJ Transit Station. I usually listen to an educational podcast during my commute home. At the current time, my only exception is Serial. Every other podcast I listen to is spiritual or educational in some way.

5:28pm - I catch my train home. If I wasn't able to complete my work, I may pull out my laptop on the train. Otherwise, I use this time to catch up on emails, social media and reading. I always text my husband to let him know I'm on the train.

6:29pm - I arrive at Hamilton Station. Either my husband picks me up (after picking up our daughter) and we ride home together or my husband picks up my daughter and starts dinner, while I catch the 6:58pm bus.

6:45pm/7:15pm - If I catch the bus, I get home between 7:15pm and 7:30pm. We eat dinner as a family as soon as I get in.

7:30pm - After dinner, I may spend 5 minutes clearing off plates and then I give the baby about 15 minutes to digest her food.

7:45pm - I run the bath water, bathe, lotion, dress, pray and put the baby to sleep. Our target bed time is 8:00pm, but we run behind some weekdays and she goes to bed closer to 8:30pm (but rarely after 9pm).

8:30pm - I spend about 30 minutes straightening up (when I have the energy to do so) and then I have about an hour before it's time for me to wrap things up and get to bed.

10:00pm - This is my 'bed time.' I read a scripture or lesson of some sort, say my prayers and hit the sack.

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So, as you can see, my weekdays are pretty jam packed. In a typical week, I only get to spend 1-2 hours with my daughter on any given weekday (This excludes Wednesday, since I work from home on Wednesdays.)

When I think of those numbers, I feel a bit bad because it's hard to imagine how anyone could consider a way to balance work, life and motherhood with this type of schedule. However, I make it work and this is how I do it.

Much to my husband's dismay, I prioritize spending time with my family over cleaning the house. I also prioritize spending time with my family over spending time with colleagues and friends, as well as pursuing time-consuming projects outside of the home. I also prioritize spending time with my family over the many beauty regimens I used to have pre-baby (ie. bi-weekly hair salon visits, which now only happen once a quarter).
I cherish those early morning and before bed times with my precious little angel. People may think that I'm extra because I massage her with lotion every night and hug and kiss and rock her after we say our prayers and before I put her in the crib. Well, I don't care! These are the memories you remember. I still remember my mom laying between my sister and I every night when we were little kids and reciting the Lord's Prayer with us.
I talk to her. Every morning, I ask how her night was. Every evening, I ask how her day in school was. She's not able to fully articulate her responses yet, but she does respond. She knows that mommy cares and mommy tries to incorporate herself in every aspect of her life.....including her dreams.
The weekends are hers! Yes, my husband and I have occasional date nights when we hire a babysitter, so that we can paint the town red. Yes, we take full advantage when her day care offers Parent's Night Out events where they keep her until 9:30pm on a Friday night. However, those are far and few between and rarely more than once a month. On the weekends, we plan activities with her and we spend time at home with her. We eat every meal together and we pray before every meal together. We dance together and we laugh together. We watch the same old Sesame Street clips together and we color together.

So, how do you balance being a full-time working woman (with an extreme commute) and motherhood? You don't! You take it one day at a time, you do everything unto God and you make sure that you prioritize the time you do have.

To be honest, I probably will cut my hours at some point or increase my work-from-home days in the near future.....especially if I have a second child. One of the reasons I focus so much on personal finance is because I would love to be in a place where it wasn't about the money. I would love to be in a place where I could take an even longer time from work of cut my hours to part-time (I probably would never be a stay-at-home mom, even if I could afford it.) and not have to worry about how we will pay our bills each month. However, we are not there YET. So for now, I juggle the best way I know how.

How about you? How do you balance motherhood and working? If you're not a working mom, how do you balance motherhood and other responsibilities? Tips and ideas are always welcomed!

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This post is part of a blog hop where a group of bloggers are all sharing on similar topics (Working Mom, How to Balance). To find more inspiration, check out these awesome blogs:

Daily Momtivity (http://dailymomtivity.com)

The Buccio Clan (www.thebuccioclan.com)
Peaches and Pickles (www.peachesandpickles.org)
Simple at Home (Simpleathome.com)
Sara B Nash (http://www.sarabnash.com)
Craft Create Calm (http://www.craftcreatecalm.com)
Multitasking Mom (http://www.themultitaskingmomsite.net)
LedyLiz (http://ledyliz.com)
Home Maid Simple (http://homemadesimple.com)
Sweet Discord (http://www.sweetdiscord.com)
Smart Mom, Smart Ideas (http://smartmomsmartideas.com)
Misty Shaheen (http://mistyshaheen.com)

Suzi Whitford (http://www.startamomblog.com)

Angela Coleman Sherman (http://www.thenonhousewives.com)

Melissa Hunt (http://www.deuxbella.com)

My February 2016 Reads

2016-02-09T14:09:00.000-05:00

I have one of the same goals in 2016 as I had in 2015.

Read one book per month.

It worked well for me last year, though I did miss a few months, and I would like to continue this same goal this year.

In December 2015, I started a book called I Will Teach You To Be Rich. This book is written by Ramit Sethi and is described as a 6-week personal finance program that works. I continued this book in January 2016, but still have a few more chapters to finish. Because it is a book that requires action and I have been reviewing each chapter on my blog, it is taking longer than usual to complete. Therefore, one of my reads for February 2016 is I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.

One of which is based on T.D. Jakes #1 New York Times Best Seller entitled, Instinct: The Power to Unleash your Inborn Drive. This is not the actual book, but rather the Daily Readings version of this book that provides 100 insights that will uncover, sharpen and activate your instincts. I started this in January 2016 and will continue reading an excerpt each day until I finish. According to my calculations, the 100^th day of 2016 is April 9^th, so be prepared to hear about INSTINCT Daily Readings: 100 Insights That Will Uncover, Sharpen and Activate Your Instincts for the next few months. Since each reading is only 2-3 pages, I will still be able to add a new book each month, without causing too much of an inconvenience.

The second book that my husband gave me is entitled, Make It Happen: Surrender Your Fear. Take the Leap. Live on Purpose., by Lara Casey. I’ve never heard of this book or author, but apparently it got 4 ½ out of 5 stars on Amazon. Also, a very popular lifestyle blogger (Mattie James of Mattieologie.com) mentioned this on her Periscope about her list of "to read" books for 2016. Judging by these indications, I think this’ll be a good one to read. Plus, my husband clearly has an idea of the things I struggle with and is attempting to provide me with assistance in overcoming my fears and taking the leap. J I will definitely give a full review once I am done.

What books are you reading in February 2016?

I Will Teach You To Be Rich..... Starting With Conscious Spending

2016-01-27T21:39:00.000-05:00

FACT: You cannot become ~~rich~~ wealthy without controlling your spending....consciously.

I cross out rich because, in my eyes, rich is temporary and is seldom beneficial long term. Many athletes, celebrities and lottery winners are rich, but if they do not practice conscious spending, then they are not rich for long.

According to a 2010 study by researchers at Vanderbilt University, the University of Kentucky and the University of Pittsburgh, the more money you win in the lottery, the more likely you are to end up bankrupt. As a matter of fact, according to this study published in The Review of Economics and Statistics, many of them become bankrupt within 5 years of scoring a big win.

The average professional athlete in the United States will make more in one season than most of us earn in our entire lives. However, according to Wyatt Investment Research, 78% of NFL players, 60% of NBA players and a large percentage of MLB players file bankruptcy within five years of retirement.

Most people's stinking thinking causes them to assume that they are broke because they don't make enough money. However, according to my research, more money does not fix financial problems.

What does, then? CONSCIOUS SPENDING
Of course I'm oversimplifying things a bit. However, if you read any of the articles or books about the habits of wealthy people with a net worth over a million (especially those who had modest income levels during their working years), you will find that one of the main ways they were able to save and invest their way into millions was to consciously spend on the money they earned, so that a large portion of it could be used to build their wealth.

In chapter 4 of I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Ramit Sethi focuses on conscious spending. Although Ramit calls it conscious spending and says that he doesn't use budgets, the bottom line is that he does.....and you need to, as well, if you want to be rich and win with money. He says that conscious spending is deciding where you want to spend your money up front, instead of spending it on random things here and there. Deciding what you don't love and are not that important to you, so that you can cut back mercilessly on those things, in order to have money to spend luxuriously on those things that are important to you.

So here are the steps that Ramit suggests to create a Conscious Spending Plan:

Step 1: Create 4 major buckets where your money will go.

Step 2: List every expense that you can think of that falls under the 'Fixed cost' category and fill in the dollar amounts for each. A good rule of thumb is that your fixed costs should be 50-60% of your take-home pay.

Once you've gotten all your expenses filled in, add 15% for unexpected expenditures or items you may have overlooked. According to Ramit, a flat 15% will cover you for things you haven't figured in and you can get more accurate as time goes on.

Once you've got a fairly accurate number here, subtract it from your take-home pay. Now you'll know how much you'll have left over to spend in the other categories. Plus, you'll have an idea of a few targeted expense areas that you can cut down on to give yourself more money to save, invest and do the other things you love (See how this kind of sounds like a budget to me?).

Step 3: A good rule of thumb is to invest 10% of your take-home pay for the long-term. For the record, long-term investing typically means 401(k), Roth IRA and other retirement-type savings vehicles.

Calculate the amount and automate it.

Step 4: Short-term savings could be things like Christmas gifts, a vacation, a wedding or a down payment on a house. This should be no more than 5-10% of your take home pay.

Calculate the amounts for the various accounts and automate a separate savings account for each.

Step 5: Feel free to spend whatever is left on whatever tickles your fancy! If you want to use that money to invest more, do it. If you prioritize travel over early retirement, hit up every country in the world. Sky is the limit! You can spend guilt free because all of your obligations are already taken care of. (Word to the wise: Just don't overdraft)

I should mention that if you don't make enough to fit in these to categories, you need to do one of two things:

Find a way to cut back some of your expenses.
Find a way to make more money.

Ramit offers some great ideas in his book on cutting expenses, negotiating higher salaries and freelancing.

Read my previous blogs for more information about Ramit Sethi's, I Will Teach You To Be Rich. Below is an outline of the topics covered in previous chapters and a link to my blog post about each chapter/topic.

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Get Your Life Right in 90 Days......With Me

2016-01-05T20:36:00.000-05:00

Chalene Johnson, the best-selling author of Push: 30 Days to Turbocharged Habits, a Bangin' Body, and the Life You Deserve! , has just released a 90-Day system and accompanying workbook/planner that promises to teach you how to set a PUSH goal and achieve all of your goals in 90 days or less! According to the website, Chalene’s workbook takes you step-by-step through the process of setting goals for the key areas of life as well as how to set a PUSH Goal – a goal that makes all your other goals possible. It will help you map a course of action, so you know exactly what you need to do every day to achieve all of your goals in 90 Days or less!

Last week, Chalene provided an overview of the process on Periscope and provided FREE access to a PDF version of the workbook, which also set-up like a 90-day planner. I am excited to start this process and would like to invite YOU to try this 90-day goal achievement process with me! If interested, fill out the form below and I will send you a link to obtain the PDF version of the workbook, as well as add you to my private Facebook group where we will be able to share experiences and encourage one another along the way.

January 2016 Reads

2016-01-01T22:22:00.001-05:00

I have one of the same goals in 2016 as I had in 2015.

Read one book per month.

It worked well for me last year, though I did miss a few months, and I would like to continue this same goal this year.

In December 2015, I started a book called I Will Teach You To Be Rich. This book is written by Ramit Sethi and is described as a 6-week personal finance program that works. Needless to say, there are only four weeks in a month, so I still have a few more chapters to finish before I complete this book. Therefore, one of my reads for January 2016 is I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi.

BUY HERE

As part of our Christmas tradition, there are two items that the people in my household receives every Christmas eve.
1) Pajamas
2) A book

This year, I decided to get my husband an adult coloring book with colored pencils. I brought my daughter a Melissa & Doug coloring book and jumbo triangular crayon set. My husband gave me two books. One of which is based on T.D. Jakes #1 New York Times Best Seller entitled, Instinct: The Power to Unleash your Inborn Drive. This is not the actual book, but rather the Daily Readings version of this book that provides 100 insights that will uncover, sharpen and activate your instincts. Therefore, one of my other reads for January 2016 is INSTINCT Daily Readings: 100 Insights That Will Uncover, Sharpen and Activate Your Instincts. I will be reading this for the first 100 days of 2016, so will not complete this book until mid-April. Since each reading is only 2-3 pages, I will still be able to add a new book each month, without causing too much of an inconvenience.

BUY HERE

Books Mentioned:

I Will Teach You To Be Rich And Get Ready To Invest

2015-12-30T10:29:00.000-05:00

I Will Teach You To Be Rich And Get Ready To Invest

Week 3: Get Ready To Invest

Open your 401(k) and Roth IRA -- even with just $50

I am reading I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi. This book provides a 6-week step-by-step guide to getting your finances in order to become rich.

Week 1 focused on optimizing your credit.
Week 2 focused on opening and optimizing your bank account.
Week 3 focuses on teaching you to get ready to invest.

This chapter will discuss why you should invest and the best way to start investing your money and how to set up the process in a week.

THE WHY
A millionaire is not a person who makes $1 million or more per year.  A millionaire is someone who's net worth is $1 million or more.

On average, millionaires invest 20 percent of their household income each year. Their wealth isn't measured by the amount they make each year, but by how much they've saved and invested over time.

Investing is the single most effective way to get rich!

THE HOW
Step 1: If your employer offers a 401(k) match, invest to take full advantage of it and contribute just enough to get 100% of the match. This is free money and there is, quite simply, no better deal.

Step 2: Pay off your credit card and any other debt (excluding any primary home loans you may have outstanding). If you can't pay this off immediately, set up a plan to pay off your debt within a specific amount of time.

Step 3: Open up a Roth IRA and contribute as much money as possible to it, up to the maximum allowed by the Internal Revenue Service.

Step 4: If you have money left over, go back to your 401(k) and contribute as much as possible to it, up to the maximum allowed by the Internal Revenue Service.

Step 5: If you still have money left to invest, open a regular nonretirement account and put as much as possible there. Also, pay extra on any mortgage debt you have, and consider investing in yourself: Whether it's starting a company or getting an additional degree, there's often no better investment than your own career.

*Please note that my philosophy varies slightly from what Ramit suggests in his book. My how, which takes into account Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps, would be the following.

Step 1: If your employer offers a 401(k) match, invest to take full advantage of it and contribute just enough to get 100% of the match. This is free money and there is, quite simply, no better deal.

Step 2: Pay off your credit card and any other debt (excluding any primary home loans you may have outstanding). If you can't pay this off immediately, set up a plan to pay off your debt within a specific amount of time.

Step 3: Open up a Roth IRA and contribute as much money as possible to it, up to the maximum allowed by the Internal Revenue Service, but no more than 15% (minus the % you have already contributed to 401(k)) of your income.

Step 4: If you have money left over, go back to your 401(k) and contribute as much as possible to it, up to the maximum allowed by the Internal Revenue Service, but no more than 15% (minus the % you have already contributed to 401(k) and Roth IRA) of your income.

Step 5: If you still have money left to invest, open a regular nonretirement account and put as much as possible there. Also, pay extra on any mortgage debt you have, and consider investing in yourself: Whether it's starting a company or getting an additional degree, there's often no better investment than your own career.
              5a: If you have children, open an ESA or 529 plan to save for their college education. If not, skip to 5b.
             5b: Use all extra money to pay off your home early. If you don't have a mortgage, skip to 5c.
             5c: Open a regular nonretirement account and put as much as possible there. Also, consider investing in yourself: Whether it's starting a company or getting an additional degree, there's often no better investment than your own career.

BUY BOOKS HERE:

I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi

The Total Money Makeover: A proven plan for financial fitness by Dave Ramsey

Amazing Deal Flash - VideoSecu ML531BE TV Wall Mount

2015-12-29T09:36:00.000-05:00

VideoSecu ML531BE TV Wall Mount for most 22"-55" LED LCD Plasma Flat Screen - up to 88 lb VESA 400x400 mm with Full Motion Swivel Articulating Arm, 20 in Extension, for Monitor (Black) WP5

List Price:	~~$125.00~~
Price:	$24.99
You Save:	$100.01 (80%)

Heavy guage steel supports screens up to 88 lbs. compatible with VESA (mounting hole pattern) 400x400mm/400x300mm/400x200mm/300x300mm/300x200mm/200x200mm/200x100mm/100x100mm (16"x16"/16"x12"/16"x8"/12"x12"/12"x8"/8"x8"/8"x4"/4"x4")

Post-installation level adjustment allows the TV to perfectly level

Tilt, swivel and rotate for maximum viewing flexibility; VESA plate can be taken off for easy installation by one person

Low Profile mount retracts to 1.9" to save space, Extends 20" from the wall

Standard mounting hardware,10 ft HDMI Cable and 6" 3-Axis Magnetic Bubble Level included

Merry Christmas! And the winner is......

2015-12-25T12:00:00.000-05:00

Wishing you a Merry Christmas!

May the New Year bring joy, laughter and good health to you and your family!

And the winner of the black 2016 Passion Planner (size: compact) is.........

STEPHANIE B.

Congratulations, Stephanie! I will be contacting you shortly to arrange for delivery of the prize package.

Thank you to everyone who entered the drawing, shared the post and liked my page. I am so happy that all of you participated. Thank you for your support. Look for updates and additional prize drawings in the coming year.

Sincerely,

This is me.....Then

Faunya Estrada

My Passion Planner and Improptu Giveaway

2015-12-21T22:12:00.000-05:00

I just received two compact (5.5"x8.5") Passion Planners in the mail over the weekend and want to give away one copy before the beginning of 2016.

The Passion Planner is a weekly planner that helps people break down their long and short terms goals into more actionable steps and gives them a place to incorporate these steps into their daily lives.

To learn more about the Passion Planner, visit their website at http://www.passionplanner.com.

To enter my contest to win a Passion Planner, do the following by Thursday, 24 December 2015 at 11:59pm:
1) Fill out the entry form here.
2) Like my Facebook page here.
3) Invite others to do the same.

*You may only enter the giveaway one time.....unless someone you refer also enters the giveaway and enters your name into the "Referred by" box on the entry form.

Why am I doing this? Because I have more Passion Planners than I can use. Because I brought my very first Passion Planner in the beginning to 2015 and I absolutely loved it. Because I'd rather give my extra planner away to someone who'd actually love to have one. Because giving something away is actually on my Christmas list. Because I thought is was a great idea to do on my blog.

I will be announcing the winner on my blog on December 25th, 2015. It is my Christmas present to you. I plan to mail the Passion Planner shortly after, so that I can try to get it to the winner before New Years Day.

Christmas Gifts for an 18-Month Old Girl

2015-12-20T07:00:00.000-05:00

Meet Selah. She is 18 months old and one of the most loving, beautiful, dramatic, silly and intelligent little girls that I have ever met. She is also my daughter (No, I am not biased).

Christmas is coming up and I am so excited about how she will react when she opens her gifts. We brought her gifts for Christmas last year, but she was too young to really understand what was going on. This year is the first year that she will 'really' be able to understand that she is getting something new and this year she has a better idea of what she does/does not like.

Firstly, I would like to point out that we have two family traditions that my husband and I have been doing ever since we've been married (5 years).

Tradition #1: We always buy each other pajamas, wrap them and put them under the tree or wherever we are storing our gifts for that particular year. On Christmas Eve we gather around the 'tree,' open the gift and put it on before bed.

Tradition #2: We also buy each other a book that we think the other person would enjoy or benefit from, wrap them and put them under the 'tree.' This gift is also opened on Christmas Eve.

* Tradition # 2 is new and this is something that we just instituted last year. We each buy each other a gift and then we buy Selah's gifts together.

If you have read any of my previous blogs on preparing for the holiday, then you know that we have a holiday spending budget. The dollar amount saved for Selah's gifts is $100.

GIFT #1

Elmo Play All Day
BUY HERE

Thus far, we have spent $40 on the Elmo Play All Day. This toy is regularly priced at $59.99, but is currently $45.99 on Amazon.com. We purchased her toy from ShopRite on Black Friday. Elmo Play All Day is a plush cuddly toy, featuring 8 games/activities and 150+ responses. Selah is obsessed with Elmo, as is most toddlers her age, so I know that she will LOOOVE this toy.

GIFT #2

Melissa & Doug Jumbo Triangular Crayons
BUY HERE

Melissa & Doug Jumbo Coloring Pad
BUY HERE

Selah absolutely loves to write. She writes in coloring books. She writes in regular books. She writes on cardboard and she writes on the floor. She writes on skin and she writes on walls. It's only natural that we would choose to get her a) Melissa & Doug Jumbo Triangular Crayons and b) Melissa & Doug Jumbo Coloring Book. Both products cost a little under $5 each on Amazon.

GIFT #3
Pajamas: We haven't picked out the exact pajamas we will get her yet, so I don't have much detail available. However, I was in Gymboree earlier today and they had really cute pajama sets on sale. (Click on Gymboree link to receive 25% off your first order.)

GIFT #4
Gift #4 is up in the air. Assuming the pajamas cost between $10-$20, we have approximately $30-$40 left to spend on Selah's Christmas gifts.

Since her ears are not pierced, I am considering a bracelet. However, when I mentioned it to her dad, he didn't seem that enthused.

We are also considering a learning tablet. Since she loves the iPad and our cellphone, I would love to get her a tablet specifically designed to increase her intellectual ability. However, we don't know if we'd be able to find a quality tablet for the price range mentioned above.

Clothing, toys or extra books are always an option, if we can't figure out anything else. I also like the idea of spending money on 'an experience' rather than material things. Only time will tell.....and suggestions are more than welcome!

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If interested in learning more about the products listed in this blog, please click on the affiliate links below:
- Elmo Play All Day
- Melissa & Doug Jumbo Triangular Crayons
- Melissa & Doug Jumbo Coloring Pad
- Gymboree (Click on link to receive 25% off your first order.)

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Popular articles/blog posts on Christmas gifts for toddlers are listed below:

I Will Teach You To Be Rich And Beat The Banks

2015-12-08T09:45:00.001-05:00

I Will Teach You To Be Rich

Week 2: Beat The Banks

Open high-interest, low-hassle accounts and negotiate fees like an Indian

-----------------------------

I am reading I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi. This book provides a 6-week step-by-step guide to getting your finances in order to become rich.

Buy Here

Last week, I covered the first chapter, which focused on optimizing your credit. Week 2 promises to teach you how to beat the banks.

In order to beat the banks, you must first learn about the different types of accounts available at banks and what they are used for. In this chapter, Ramit discusses checking and savings accounts.

Checking accounts are transactional and mainly used to hold money that will not be touched for a time period between 1 month and 5 years. It is suggested that you should invest money (to be discussed at a later time) that you do not plan to touch for 5 or more years, instead of having it stashed in a savings account.

Ramit outlines three different ways that you can set-up and optimize your bank accounts.
- MOST BASIC OPTION: A checking and savings account at any local bank (or credit union).
- BASIC + SMALL OPTIMIZATION OPTION: A no-fee checking account at your local bank and a high-yield online savings account.
- ADVANCED + FULL OPTIMIZATION OPTION: Several checking and savings accounts at different banks.

I currently have an advanced set-up, but am working towards simplifying my account process. I have a checking and savings account at a large local bank (Citi). My account is free because I keep a minimum balance ($1,500) in my savings account. This is considered to be my emergency fund. I also have a joint checking and savings account (with my husband) at a large local bank (Bank of America). This account is free for us because this is where we both direct deposit our paychecks. On top of this, I have a checking, multiple savings and ROTH IRA account through Capital One 360, an online account. In addition, I have a few savings goals set-up through SmartyPig, another online savings account.

The steps to beat the banks are as follows:
1) Assess your current checking account(s)
Make sure that you are not paying any fees and determine under what circumstances your would be charged a fee at that bank. If there are fees that you cannot avoid under normal circumstances, find another bank. No one should be paying monthly fees at banks, ever. Most local banks and credit unions will waive the monthly fee if you use direct deposit (I would suggest that you set-up direct deposit into your main checking account.) or maintain a minimum balance. Most online banks (such as Capital One 360) do not charge a monthly fee under any circumstance. Ramit also mentions Charles Schwab as a viable online checking option.

2) Open an online savings account.
I have a couple of online savings accounts and find them to be extremely beneficial. The interest rate is higher than any traditional savings account and the requirement that you transfer the money into your checking account in order to access it (which can often take up to 3 business days) discourages you from spending your savings on impulse buys. However, I do think a portion of your savings should be available immediately. If you have an online checking and savings account, you can easily transfer the money to your online checking account and use/withdraw the money immediately. If you have a traditional checking account only, I would encourage you to open a traditional savings account at that same bank and save approximately $1,000 in that account to cover urgent emergencies. Amounts over the $1,000 can be saved in your online savings account.

3) Fund your accounts.
Leave one and a half months of expenses in your checking account. The extra half month of expenses are left in your account to prevent any overdraft fees, as you are getting used to paying bills and transferring money between your various accounts.
Any remaining monies should be transferred to savings. The first $1,000 should go into an easily accessible savings, while any leftover funds in excess of that amount should go into a high-yield online savings account.

*If you are interested in purchasing a copy of I Will Teach you to Be Rich, you can pick up a copy by clicking on the link below.

PURCHASE HERE: I Will Teach You To Be Rich

**Ramit Sethi has a blog of the same name. If interested, you can check it out here.
*** If your interested in opening an online account with Capital One 360 (formerly ING Direct), click here.

My 7-Step Holiday Spending Strategy

2015-11-28T22:51:00.001-05:00

MY 7-STEP HOLIDAY SPENDING STRATEGY

This year, we decided to come up with a spending strategy for the holidays. So far, we have had one hiccup in our planning......we should've planned to have all holiday funds available by Black Friday. I will admit, my planning assumed that we would not need any holiday spending money until December. This left us without a spending plan when we found great deals during Black Friday. We ended up spending our own "fun" money and unaccounted for joint money. No bueno!

Aside from the one misstep above, I do believe our holiday shopping plan will run smoothly for the remainder of the year.

Rule #1: No going into debt for gifts. If we don't have the cash saved, we don't buy. Period.

Now, I present to you "My 7-Step Holiday Spending Strategy."

STEP 1: Make a budget and savings plan
We decided on a $500 budget and started a SmartyPig account to save the $500 over time. The savings goal was started in October. Next year, we will start planning a little earlier.
* Please note that this $500 budget does not include what my husband and I will spend on each other's gifts. Our gifts to one another does not come out of our joint banking account, but rather is purchased with our own "fun" money that we receive bi-monthly.

STEP 2: Finalize your holiday list and categorize/prioritize
We created a list of everyone we wanted to buy gifts for and assigned each person a maximum dollar amount that we would be willing to spend. We discussed possible gifts for each person. For the record, we set Selah's (our daughter) budget at $100. We also set our budget for holiday cards at $100. This leaves about $300 for others.

STEP 3: Redeem points in the form of gift cards (credit card, Ebates, uPromise)
I went to all of my online credit card accounts and rebate accounts to redeem any rewards or money that I had accrued over the past year. I was able to redeem a $25 Gap gift card with my Citi Thank You points, which were accrued over the past year for using my various Citibank accounts. Gift cards and money redemptions can be used in addition to the $500 we budgeted.

STEP 4: Strategically place money in Smarty Pig account
At the point when we made our budget in October, we started a SmartyPig savings goal and immediately funded the first $100 into that account. The plan was to put additional money in on a regular basis, but we got an old tax refund in the mail, which allowed us to not have the burden of having to save money out of our regular monthly payroll.

STEP 5: Redeem SmartyPig money in the form of transferred cash and strategically selected gift cards
This is the step I am at now. Unfortunately, I didn't think to redeem the money in our SmartyPig account in time for Black Friday, so we ended up having to spend our own cash or use the joint account when we found great deals during Black Friday. I intend to redeem the money we have saved by the end of next week.

STEP 6: Purchase gifts through websites during sale cycles through websites like eBates or UPromise....using gift cards obtained at a discount through SmartyPig.....while purchasing in-store at locations that provide better deals in-person.
Side Note: I just found out about a website called "Shopathome.com" that provides similar cash rebates to eBates and UPromise. Before I purchase anything online, I check all three websites to determine who offers the largest rebate.
SmartyPig allows you to redeem all or portions of your saved fund in the form of discounted gift cards.

STEP 7: Purchase gifts on my credit card that can not be purchased through the gift cards available through SmartyPig and other discount card sites/venues (Card to be paid off in Full)
Self-explanatory

Let me know in the comments if you have developed a holiday spending plan/strategy for your family. How did that turn out? Do you use credit cards for holiday shopping or do you only use cash and debit?

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Sign up for Ebates here.
Sign up for SmartyPig here. Mention my referral code: B9F6E44T
Sign up for UPromise here.

5 Weeks To The Holidays: Gift Wrap Organization

2015-11-23T21:18:00.003-05:00

5 Weeks To The Holidays: Gift Wrap Organization

In mid-October, I committed to spending the next 10 Weeks Organizing my Holiday Celebrations with Organize365.com.. Please join me as I go through this challenge and feel free to follow the steps, as well.

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday (oops…..I’m a little late again) and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Last week, we decided what we would eat......for Thanksgiving. We will likely be house hopping for most of the Christmas holiday and will likely be responsible for a dish.

This week, we will be organizing our gift wrapping. Currently, we have several baby gift bags that we recycle from gifts given to our daughter for our baby shower and her 1st birthday party last May. We also have several other gift bags and wrapping paper that we have stored from previous holidays.

My goal for this week is to put all gift wrapping paper and gift bags in one location and make note of additional products that will be needed. I found one great organization suggestion on the Organize 365 website. The below picture shows how to store the gift bags in some kind of college crate.

As I find good prices on additional gifting products, I will buy and store them with the products that we already have. My main source for additional products are various dollar stores and Jack's.

How about you? Do you have a place where you store all of your gift wrap? Will you be buying more gift supplies for the holiday?

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan

8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?

7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do?
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat?
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization {You're here!}
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

I WILL TEACH YOU TO BE RICH…..Starting Today!

2015-11-17T23:20:00.001-05:00

I WILL TEACH YOU TO BE RICH…..Starting Today!

Okay, okay! WE will teach you to be rich….starting today!

My co-partner in crime is Ramit Sethi, the author of the New York Times bestseller, I Will Teach You To Be Rich. While he has authored the book, I will be doing the reading. I will be breaking down theories and steps in the book, as well as providing real life examples and cute little antidotes.

SPOILER ALERT:

The key to being rich (according to Ramit) is to set up accounts at a reliable no-fee bank and then automate savings and bill payment, then know a few things to invest in and let your money grow for 30 years.

MY TAKE:

It takes a bit (lot) more than that and I will make sure to bring up any areas that Ramit tries to tip toe over.

I WillTeach You To Be Rich is broken up into 6 weeks of topics, followed by a set of action steps. At the end of the 6 weeks, if you follow all of the action steps, Ramit promises that you will be well on your way to being rich…..if you are consistent and faint not. :-)

By the way, this is my November/December read and I will be going through and completing all 6 weeks of action steps by the end of the year. Feel free to join me each week while I discuss the topic and action steps towards richness, indeed.

WEEK 1: OPTIMIZE YOUR CREDIT……CARDS

While there are experts out there (Ahem…..Dave Ramsey) that believe that debt is against the bad and that you avoid it and a credit score at all costs. My beliefs are more in-line with what is taught by Ramit.

If you do not know how to responsibly use debt, avoid it like a plague (or get some discipline). However, if you are have the discipline to use your card prudently and to pay off your credit card every month, it can actually be a benefit.

Even if you have the money in your account, who wants to have that ridiculous hold that hotels put on your account when you use your debit card to reserve your room? When you rent a car, who wants to pay that ridiculous insurance, when there are really good credit cards out there with exceptional coverage? When you buy an expensive product and something goes wrong, who wants to wait for the bank to put the money back into your bank account? Who wants to pay for an extended warranty, when there are credit cards out there who will give you an extra year or two, just for making the purchase on their card? If I can save major money by utilizing the benefits that only credit (not debit) cards provide and I know that I am going to pay the full balance off that month, I choose credit.

To optimize your credit you must do the following…..THIS WEEK!

1. Know what is on your credit report and know your FICO score.

a. Go to http://www.annualcreditreport.com and receive a copy of 1 (or all three) of your credit reports for free. Make sure that they are accurate. Work to remove all negative credit history over time.

b. Get your credit score. You can purchase it from MyFICO and other websites for a nominal fee, but I would suggest getting it for free. I monitor my credit score through Credit Sesame, Credit Karma and one of my credit cards.

2. Set up your credit cards

a. Do you have an active credit card? If not, do your research and get one (unless, of course, you fall into that undisciplined category). If no one will have you, find a good provider of secured credit cards that will report your payment history to the credit agencies to help you build credit. Otherwise, find a card with the most benefits that will fit your lifestyle.

3. Make sure you are handling cards effectively

a. Set up auto pay to pay off the full balance each month. Split the payments to match your paycheck schedule, if necessary.

b. Get fees waived and negotiate a lower APR, where relevant.

c. Become familiar with the benefits offered by your card and make good use for them, when needed.

4. Make a plan and start paying down debt (if applicable)

a. I am a fan of the Snowball Method (as suggested by Dave Ramsey). List all of your debts from smallest to largest. Pay the minimum on all the debts, except the smallest debt. Based on your budget, pay an additional amount on this debt each month. Once that debt is paid off, move to the next smallest debt. In addition to the minimum due that you had already been paying, roll the amount that you were previously paying on the smallest debt over to the next smallest debt, and so on and so on, until all of your debts are paid off.

b. In addition to the snowball method, I am also a proponent of the Snowflake Method. If you get a side hustle, if you find a penny on the ground, if you get a bonus check or tax refund, etc., etc……apply that extra money to the lowest debt.

* Personally, we have paid off all of our credit card debt and are currently working on obliterating some rather stubborn student loans (long story…..don’t want to talk about it). Once that is complete, I fully plan to work Dave Ramsey’s Baby Steps as outlined in his Total Money Makeover book. We never stopped our 401k contributions, as he suggests, but that is because I did not think it was the best plan of action. However, that’s another story for another day.

I encourage you to go through the 4 steps listed above with me. Let’s try to get rich together and if it doesn’t work for us, we can all blame Ramit Sethi.

BUY BOOKS HERE:

I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi

The Total Money Makeover: A proven plan for financial fitness by Dave Ramsey

6 Weeks to the Holidays: What will you eat?

2015-11-16T22:09:00.001-05:00

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday (oops…..I’m a little late again) and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Last week, we discussed what we are doing for the holidays. It's still not completely decided, but we've agreed on some things.

~ Thanksgiving at our place.

~ We will participate in our typical Christmas Eve traditions and have added a new tradition to the mix. Our Christmas Eve traditions include:

1) We buy each other pajamas to be opened and worn on Christmas Eve

2) We buy each other a book to be opened on Christmas Eve

3) *new tradition* We buy a gift for the house that can be enjoyed by all of us and open it on Christmas Eve.

~ Christmas Day is undecided, but likely will spend it at home

This week, we decide on what we will eat.

One thing is for sure. We will have a turkey for Thanksgiving. I believe we have a little under $60 to spend between now and Thanksgiving to earn a free turkey at ShopRite.

Christmas dinner is undecided, but we will discuss it, this week.

How about you? What will you be cooking for the holidays? Do you have any food traditions that you automatically know that you will have each year?

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan

8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?

7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do?
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat? {You're here!}
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

7 Weeks to the Holidays: What are you going to do?

2015-11-11T22:08:00.000-05:00

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday (oops…..I’m a little late again) and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Last week we decided if we would send out cards. The plan is to send out cards. I sent my husband a link to Minted last week, so that we can agree on a design. I used Minted for my daughter's birth announcement cards, last year, and they were absolutely stunning. The cards are not as cheap as Shutterfly*, but the quality is totally worth it. Either we will use some of the pictures we took this past Spring with our favorite family photographer (Photography by Jen Davis), we will use one of Selah's school pictures (that she's actually taking today) or we will be getting pictures taken specifically for the purpose of the Christmas/ Holiday cards.

Beginning today (well.....Sunday actually), there are 7 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations and the task for the week is to decide what we want to do.

The things we will be discussing are:

1) Where will we be spending Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the weekend after Christmas?

2) What foods do we want to make and which dishes will we request that others provide?

3) What about Christmas activities? Tree lighting ceremony? Sesame Place?

4) What about decorations? Do we want a Christmas tree? Real or fake? Do we want a wreath for the door? Any new ornaments?

So how about you? Are you into Holiday Planning? Have you thought about what you will eat, where you will go and how you will decorate?

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan

8 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?

7 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Do You Want To Do? {You’re here!}
6 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: What Will You Eat?
5 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Gift Wrap Organization
4 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Decorating The House
3 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Stock Up On Basics
2 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Create Bags For Each Event
1 Week To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: DeClutter and Donate Old Toys

* Shutterfly is offering 50% off on all cards and 20% off on all photo cards purchased through the links on this page by December 31st, 2015.

Love & Respect

2015-11-04T14:55:00.002-05:00

During the month of July, we attended a 4-week marriage conference at Fellowship Alliance Chapel (FAC) in Medford, NJ.

There were many takeaways that we got from the conference. The most tangible were:

1) Matching T-Shirts (mine not shown)

2) A book entitled, "Love & Respect"

The philosophy of this book is based on Ephesians 5:33, which reads:

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (NIV)

According to the author, this is the secret (and God given instructions) to a happy marriage.....or at least a marriage that is pleasing in God's eyes.

RULES OF THE GAME:

- Women have an innate need to have someone love them, to make them special and to make them the most important one in their life. Men have the need to feel respected and admired by the woman in his life.

- When women do not feel love from their spouse, they tend to be disrespectful towards them. When the man feels disrespected, he tends to withdraw his love. This is called the "Crazy Cycle" because it goes on an on in a downward spiral, unless someone decides to make a change.

- Who should make the first move? The one who sees himself or herself as the most mature.

Taking the role of the mature mate and moving first may be risky, but it is very powerful. The fear, of course, is that you will show love or respect to your spouse and get a bad response. However, holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away. Being mature and making the first move could slow it down or even stop the crazy cycle.....and take you to the "Energizing Cycle. "

The basic principle of the Energizing Cycle is as follows:

HIS LOVE MOTIVATES HER RESPECT; HER RESPECT MOTIVATES HIS LOVE

What if your spouse is unmotivated, no matter how you act towards them?

A HUSBAND IS TO OBEY THE COMMAND TO LOVE EVEN IF HIS WIFE DOES NOT OBEY THE COMMAND TO RESPECT, AND A WIFE IS TO OBEY THE OMMAND TO RESPECT EVEN IF THE HUSBAND DOES NOT OBEY THE COMMAND TO LOVE, UNCONDITIONALLY.

This brings us to the "Rewarded Cycle."

HIS LOVE BLESSES REGARDLESS OF HER RESPECT; HER RESPECT BLESSES REGARDLESS OF HIS LOVE.

Throughout the book, the author emphasizes that if the husband and wife are both people of basic good will, they can use Love and Respect principles to make a bad marriage into a good one and a good marriage into a great one. However, even if your wife does not show you respect or your husband does not show you love, God commanded men to love their wives and women to respect their husbands.......unconditionally!

Unconditional love and unconditional respect will be rewarded.

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? (Matthew 5:46 NIV)

Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free. (Ephesians 6:7-8 NIV)

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:21-33 NIV)

What you do matters to God. Nothing is wasted.

*This book can be purchased on Amazon.com

8 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Will You Send Cards?

2015-11-02T21:50:00.001-05:00

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday (oops…..I’m one day late this week) and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Last week we made a list of all the people we planned to buy Christmas gifts for and created a rough budget for whatever purchases we decide to make.

Beginning today, there are 8 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations and the task for the week is to decide if we will send out cards.

Sending out cards is something my husband and I have contemplated since we first got married. Before having a baby, we didn’t do it because it felt kind of lame. Who wants to see a picture of two adults as a Christmas card?

Last year was the first year we had a child in our lives, but our lack of planning and organization prevented us from meeting any kind of deadlines we would need to get pictures taken and send Christmas cards out in a timely manner.

This year, we are going to give it another try.

Will we send cards? That’s the plan.

What kind of cards? Well, as it stands, we have a few boxes of general Christmas cards in our file cabinet from previous years. We’ll likely use those cards and stuff a picture of either just Selah (my daughter) or our entire family. If we run out of those general cards (which I don’t think we will), we may create a custom card to send out to our A-1 list of family and friends. This year, the top vendor on my list is Minted. We used them for our daughter’s birth announcement and the results were gorgeous. They even send you pre-printed envelopes with the recipient names listed on them for free!

Do you plan to send Christmas cards of you and/or your family for the holidays?

See the rest of the 10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations:
10 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Commit
9 Weeks To Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations: Make A Plan

9 Weeks to Christmas 2015: Make a Plan

2015-10-25T05:00:00.000-04:00

Last week, I committed to spending the next 10 Weeks Organizing my Holiday Celebrations with Organize365.com.

I will start each week’s challenge on a Sunday and the challenge will end on Saturday, December 26^th.

Beginning today, there are 9 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations and the task for the week is to make a plan.

So, this week, we will decide our holiday gifts budget and make a list of who we plan to buy gifts for. We already discussed our budget ($500…..including Selah) and have a pretty good idea of who we will be purchasing gifts for (mostly children). However, I want to put everything in writing and I want to include the maximum amount we are willing to spend on each person (We kind of already discussed that, as well).

Minor Details:

- Last week, while doing our bi-monthly budget, I started a Christmas Gifts savings account on SmartyPig.com. I initiated a transfer of $100 from our joint to start the account. We just got our NY state tax refund (much less than I expected :-( ), which will be used to fund the remainder of our account.

* Plan of action is to redeem our savings in discounted gift cards from SmartyPig.

* Plan of action is to either give gift cards as gifts or use gift cards to purchase gifts through the eBates website/app…..or load gift cards on Gyft app and use them in the stores.

- We are hoping to send out cards this year and the cards will be coming out of our budget.

- Our gifts for each other does not come out of this budget. We must use our own personal spending/savings for the gifts we’re buying each other.

* Side note detail includes the fact that part of our Christmas tradition includes always including pajamas and a book in our gift for the other person (this includes Selah), which is opened the night before Christmas. Every other present is opened on Christmas morning/day.

Wardrobe Updates (and other Periscope musings.....)

2015-10-23T16:46:00.000-04:00

If anyone has had an informal chat with me lately, you know that my new social media obsession is Periscope.

Periscope lets you broadcast live video to the world. Going live will instantly notify your followers, who can join, comment and send you hearts in real time.

Watching a scope (that’s what they call the individual broadcasts) earlier this morning led me to the topic of wardrobe updates. @jeimonroe is a fashion curator and was scoping on the 15 Wardrobe Essentials that every female should have in her closet. Those 15 wardrobe essentials, according to Jei Monroe are:
1.       A denim button-down shirt
2.       A Blazer
3.       A classic black pant
4.       A maxi dress
5.       A little black dress
6.       A denim jacket
7.       A white button-down shirt/blouse
8.       A nude pump
9.       A classic clutch
10.   A trench coat OR pea coat
11.   A pair of great boots (ankle boots with a heel* ……or knee length boot)
12.   A knee-length pencil skirt
13.   A great leather jacket
14.   A pair of dark denim jeans
15.   A pair of classic ankle – strap heels

NOTES:

A – I need this list! With being pregnant for the past 3 years (kind of) and finally admitting that I’ve gone up a clothing size, I am now committed to purging those pieces of clothing that I can no longer fit and building my wardrobe with basic pieces that I can easily put together at a moment’s notice.

B – I no longer enjoy shopping like I used to.

C – I no longer have the time or the wherewithal to go shopping whenever and wherever I want.

D – I discovered a whole new service from another person on Periscope (@RuthSoukup of LivingWellSpendingLess) that will help me build my wardrobe without having to actually go out and shop.

That service is called Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is a personal styling service tailored towards helping busy women on the go discover and explore their personal style without having to spend countless hours at the mall, going from store to store.

How it works:

1) You sign up for Stitch Fix online and fill out a personal profile, detailing your size, height, body shape and style preferences.

2) For the cost of $20, a personal stylist will pick out 5 items each month (though you can select any frequency you want….I chose once a quarter) and mail them to your house.

3) You keep what you want and return what you don’t want.

a. If you keep items, the $20 goes towards the total cost.

b. If you keep all the items, you get a 25% discount on all the items.

4) You give feedback to the stylist on the items you received, so that your next shipment is even more customized and tailored to your personal style.

My plan with Stitch Fix is that I (mainly) focus on those basic wardrobe essentials that will never go out of style. With essentials, like a leather jacket, I don’t mind spending retail price because I know I’ll get a lot of use out of it. I’ve had my current leather jacket since before I got married (so over 6 years) and it is still going strong. It’s a wardrobe staple that I’ve more than got the $100+ amount I spent out of it.

My first Stitch Fix box comes on November 6^th! I cannot wait and promise to report back on how it goes.

10 Weeks to Organizing Your Holiday Celebrations

2015-10-21T13:48:00.000-04:00

There is one thing that we've wanted to do ever since we got married......and even more so since we've had a baby. We are officially a total family now, so I think it's time to start sending out holiday cards, decorating the house and giving to others during the holidays.

I came across a blog that provides a 10 week challenge that helps you plan and organize your end of year holiday season, which I decided to participate in. Please join me as I go through this challenge and feel free to follow the steps, as well.

*For more information, visit Organize 365 at http://organize365.com/organizing-your-holiday-celebrations/

If this post begins week 10 and I start all following weeks on Sunday, we can actually complete the final week from December 20th -26th. Perfect!

Hopefully, we'll actually be able to decorate the house and send out Christmas cards this year!

Letter to my 15 Year Old Self (PART 1)

2014-08-19T10:40:00.001-04:00

I read an article entitled, "15 Truths I Wish I'd Known About Love 15 Years Ago," in the Huffington Post this morning. Great article. It is basically a 30-year old woman looking over her life and analyzing what could have changed her (love) life for the better, had she known it at the age of 15. It got me thinking, what would I tell my 15 year old self, knowing what I know now. Not only in love, but in all aspects of life. Hmmm......

Letter Title: 15 Truths I Wish I'd Known About at the Age of 15

Dear Faunya,

I know that you are wise beyond your years and you think that you've gotten most things figured out in life. However, I think I have a little insight and experience that I would like share with you. Please listen and take in everything I have to say before you interject with your comebacks. I am you, 20 years from now, if you continue down the path you are currently on. I know, I know, you don't look all that bad.......but wouldn't you like to be better, happier and more fulfilled? Well, here are a few tips.......

Work harder, academically. It matters. Your grades determine the colleges you'll get in to and once in college, your grades will help to determine the jobs you will get once you graduate......and if you ever decide to go back to school for your PhD or MBA, those grades will help to determine the quality (if any) school you get in to.
Keep those connections. You are a good person and a good student. You have teachers that like you.....even admire you. Don't forget about them, when you move on to the next stage of your life. Keep those connections. Cultivate those relationships. You'll wish you did, when you're applying for other programs and need recommendations. You'll wish you did when you're going through difficult times in your future schooling or at work and just need someone with experience to talk to. The same actually applies to all positive people in your life, regardless of their level and pay grade. You'll be surprised at how much other positive people can help you to get further than you would be able to get on your own. I'm not suggesting that you maintain close friendships with each of these people. Who has the time for that? However, a holiday card or a quarterly email goes a long way. Don't lose touch.
Keep dancing! It's what you love to do. You're never going to be an exercise buff, but dancing will keep you in shape. It'll keep you energized and it will keep you engaged. It doesn't matter that you'll probably never be a professional dancer. It's what you love and it brings you joy. Keep dancing! Do some shows. Stretch and warm up well (trust me......if you don't you'll get runner's knee), but don't stop dancing. You'll thank me in the end.
Live below your means......way below your means. Credit cards are nice. New clothes are nice. Fancy trips and impressive apartments are nice. However, I have found something much nicer than all of those things. Freedom! Whose to say that you'll want to remain at your first job forever? Maybe you'll want to change directions and start a new career that requires you to start at the bottom? What do you do if you're 25 and realize you may want to try out a new career before the husband and kids come, but you have a $1,200 co-op bill to pay each month? What do you do if you find yourself in a bad situation and feel the best decision is to walk away. Well, if you live above your means and have credit card payments, time share payments and house payments to make, you stay. Give yourself some freedom in your older years. Give yourself the freedom to choose the life you want and have more options to explore in your younger years. Step one to achieving this.......live below your means.
Share more. The saying goes that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I have spent too much time assuming that the horse would not drink or concerning myself with how the horse would react to my direction. This has caused me to not share on many occasions. I have learned so much during my lifetime, but I have not increased others knowledge to match my own. We are commanded to go out into the world and spread the word to everyone, not just the people you are most comfortable with and not just those people that you think will be most receptive, but to all. You plant the seed and leave it up to God to give the increase, if it be his will.
Accept who you are! I spent many of my younger years focusing on those areas where I lacked. If I look back at my teenage diaries, I would put "be more outgoing" as one of my resolutions each year. I would torture myself internally because I was always more introspective than my peers. I was embarrassed when the teacher would announce the individual with the highest score in the class (Most often, it would be me). I developed a habit of doing all that I could to not stand out in the crowd, so that I would appear 'normal.' However, I know now that God made me special. Hiding myself caused me to miss out on many blessings and opportunities. God has given each of us something special for a reason. Embrace those things that are uniquely you. Accept them and learn to nurture them. It is the difference betwen being ordinary and extraordinary.
It's all about Him! When I left for college at the age of 17, I also officially left the church. My grandfather was a pastor, my stepdad was a minister, my uncle played the organ, etc., etc. Needless to say, I was born in church or atleast started attending once I got all of my shots as an infant. My experience showed me that the most religious people were not only the meanest and most judgemental (as everyone assumes), but they were also the least spiritual. In school, the "church girls" were the most promiscuous. In church, money scandals and adulterous behavior were abound. I wanted no parts of that kind of hypocritical behavior. However, I later learned that it's not about them. It's all about Him! Instead of focusing on those who are not committed to their relationship with God or relegate their relationship only to how they are perceived in church, I would focus on myself and my relationship with Him! Withouth Him, I am nothing. Who cares about them.

P.S. I wrote this a while ago, but never got around to completing my list of 15. My friend, Tamara, made a post on Facebook today that made me think of this blog and find it in my sea of email drafts. In order to avoid procrastination and avoid allowing another 6 months to go by without sharing my thoughts, I thought I'd do this in 2 parts. I'll post what I have already written now and post the remaining 8 lessons at a later date. As a teaser to Part 2, here are the headings I had listed for 8-15.

Trust your instincts!
Trust the universe!
Don't be afraid to walk away.
Learn to say no!
Show appreciation.
Time is valuable.
Everyone has value.
Dream bigger!