LiTeRaTuRa

Loving You Blindly

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:24:00 +0000

I was beginning to regret having worn my favorite red off-shoulder blouse and pleated skirt inside the movie house because I was shivering in the cold. But I took the huge risk because I knew perfectly how my favorite pair of clothing will impress my boyfriend. He loved it whenever I showed a little more skin but if and only if he was with me. I love how he compliments me - he never fails to make me feel as if I was the most beautiful woman on earth.

The movie hasn't begun, and the cold was already enveloping us. We found good premiere seats. His hand was holding mine. The feeling of having him all to myself in the dark tickled me. It didn't occur to me that he was smelling the side of my neck as he murmured, Bango naman ng Baby ko...I love you! Another smile curled my lips. Wala bang I love you too? He teased. So I answered back, I love you too, Baby. After a few subtle kisses on the cheek, his cellphone beeped. He quickly checked who it was and buried his eyes on the message. I saw him reply to the text as if he was being chased after.

Uy, bili ako ng food gusto mo? Kelangan ko narin kasing mag-load, may kelangan akong reply-an. Limang piso nalang yata laman nito! He whispered La akong bulsa, By. Hawakan mo muna 'tong cell, baka mawala ko lang. You know how careless I am. I nodded and kept the phone safely in my hands. He slightly pinched my cheek, said I love you again under his breath, and took off.

The movie still hasn't started. I closed my eyes and gave a hearty yawn.I almost fell asleep when I felt his phone vibrate violently. The name Michelle was blinking.

Who's Michelle? I thought to myself. Even before I could press accept, the phone stopped vibrating and displayed 1 missed call. The message icon was also blinking - meaning Michael's inbox was full. I had to delete old messages to pave way for incoming texts. So I did.

Five messages came in immediately, all of which were from "Michelle." Without hesitation, I opened them one by one.

Ha?! Anong wg muna ako text?

Kelangan natin mgusap ngyn na! Nsan kb kc?

Can I text you na?

Text moko if coast is clear.

R u still with her?

I felt my heart do a somersault in complete confusion. What did the messages mean? Who was that HER Michael was still with? I felt cold sweat forming around my forehead and nose. I took a deep breath. So I pretended to be Michael and replied casually to the text messages. She replied in a matter of seconds.

O, baket ka ba text ng text? May problema ba? Musta?

Hi Mike!!! Ano ng balita sayo? Baket ngayon ka lang nagreply? Kanina pako nagpaparamdam! Kasama mo pa ba si Shayne?

I thought I was just stabbed right in the chest when I saw my name in Michelle's text message, but I continued replying with Michael's phone.

Oo, bumili lang ako ng food. Iniwan ko si Shayne sa loob ng sinehan. Baket ba kasi? Di mo pa kasi iwan yang babaeng yan eh hihihi! Love, tuloy ba tayo bukas?

Ah? Ewan ko, ikaw ang bahala. San ba tayo bukas?

Diba sabi mo pupunta tayo ng Laguna?

Ako nagsabi nun? Ah oo nga pala, I promised you that. Eh ano bang plano mo?

Ano? Ikaw nga ang nagplano eh! Baket parang binabalik mo sakin ang tanong? Nakalimutan mo na ba? 4 months na tayo bukas! Dapat astig ang out-of-town natin! Swimming tayo siguro tapos dinner... Alam mo na siguro ang ibig kong sabihin, love!

I lay motionless. The movie began. I felt my head spin violently - my vision was now blurred because of the big teardrops gathering in my eyes. But I blinked them away and replied as fast as I could. I knew Michael was on his way back to the cinema any minute now.

Oo sige na basta sabihin mo yun ang gagawin natin! Ang bilis ng panahon noh 4 months na tayo. Parang kelan lang... O sige pano ba ang plano bukas? Sabihin mo sakin ang nasa isip mo HONEY Hmmm.... Basta bring your car nalang! Tawagan moko sa bahay tonight so we can talk ha? Love you lots! Mwah mwah! (smiley face)

I tried to reply I love you too, but the phone displayed Check Operator Services. The whole world must've stopped before my very eyes. There was nothing more I could feel except for the tears rolling down my cheeks and the freeze that was now killing me inch by inch. I stared at the big screen while my thoughts drifted away... I couldn't find the right words to describe how i felt that moment. Images of another girl and my Baby deeply in love with each other flashed in my head. And all this time, I was sharing Michael with someone else... That all this time, there was another woman whom he had his right arm around... The tears were all coming out now. I know people around me were already staring, but I was no longer thinking rational. Emptiness devoured me that instant...

From a distance I noticed a familiar face walking up the stairs towards my seat. I cleared my throat, cleaned my face, and took several deep breaths. Michael was on his way to our seats at the center bunk.

I love you, Baby! Michael kissed me on the nose. Sensha na! Tagal ko noh! Dami kasi nakapila dun sa binilhan ko Sensha na, sensha na... He put down the plastic bags and held my hand tight. He kissed me softly on the lips and whispered passionately, I love you Shayne! I love you Baby ko...

I didn't have the strength to answer back. He went on.

Oo nga pala, simula bukas, may fieldwork kami. Baka next week na ang balik ko. Hindi ko pa sure kung saan yung site, so baka walang signal dun. But I'll try texting you whenever I can, ok? I love you, Baby ko!

I wanted to shout at him, scream at the top of my lungs, but no sound came out. I couldn't make myself say anything. I turned mute... my body was as numb as ever. O? Wala na naman bang I love you too dyan? Dapat lagi kang nag-I-I love you too! He laughed.

I felt something vibrating on my lap again. It was Michael's phone - another text message. Michael saw it blinking and immediately read the message at a distance. But I was able to read what it said: Kelan ka pa natuto mgtext in small letters? (smiley face) tsaka baket honey na ang twag mo sakin? Hindi na ba love? Bago na ba? (smiley face)

There was a long, long awkward pause. I thought the world has just stopped revolving. My lips were sealed and the tears were already flowing freely - I could no longer control them. Michael looked straight at me, with his jaw half open. His eyes were round and bigger than usual, full of questions and fear. We just stared at each other, not knowing what to say. I felt the whole world sink and disappear, leaving only the two of us alone in the dark.

After a few seconds of silence that felt like forever, I swallowed the big lump in my throat with all my strength and bitterly whispered... I love you too, Baby ko...

Be Thankful

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:24:00 +0000

I AM THANKFUL :

FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT
because she is home with me, and not out with someone else.

FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO
because he is home with me and not out at the bars.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
because it means she is at home, not on the streets.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
because it means I am employed.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
because it means I have enough to eat.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
because it means I am out in the sunshine.

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
because it means I have a home.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
because it means we have freedom of speech.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
because it means I am warm.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY
because it means I can hear.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
because it means I have clothes to wear.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
because it means I have been capable of working hard.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
because it means I am alive.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:23:00 +0000

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:23:00 +0000

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene ten years ago.

The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affection between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.

Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.

Dew came into my life.

It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.

Dew said, you are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we were just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.

Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.

I moved Dew's hands aside and said you go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to do it together with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.

Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slightly joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. I've got something to tell you, I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the serious topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

Late that night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fall asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month s time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal a life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, Hey Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day? This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. You carried me in your arms, she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.

I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage romantically.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, Let us start from today, don't tell our son. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for a bus, I drove to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.

On the third day, she whispered to me, the outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vague.

On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.

I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now. She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have
grown bigger. I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.

Our son came in at the moment. Dad, it's time to carry mum out. He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.

I held her tightly and said, both you and I didn't notice that our life lacked intimacy.

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious.

She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because
we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.

When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.

Heaven and Hell

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:22:00 +0000

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washingtonchemistry mid-term examination. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."

Being Twenty Something

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:21:00 +0000

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when
you stop going along with the crowd and start
realizing that there are many things about yourself
that you didn't know and may not like.

You start feeling insecure and wonder where
you will be in a year or two, but then get scared
because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and
that, maybe, those friends that you thought you
were close to aren't exactly the greatest people
you have ever met, and the people you have lost
touch with are some of the most important ones.
What you don't recognize is that they are realizing
that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or
insincere but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job... and it is not even close
to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe
you are looking for a job and realizing that you are
going to have to start at the bottom, and that scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see
what others are doing and find yourself judging
more than usual because suddenly you realize
that you have certain boundaries in your life and
are constantly adding things to your list of what is
acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are

insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of
your life. You feel alone and scared and
confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and
you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but
soon realize that the past is drifting further and
further away, and there is nothing to do but stay
where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how
someone you loved could do such damage to you.
Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet
anyone decent enough that you want to get to
know better. Or maybe you love someone but love
someone else too and cannot figure out why you
are doing this because you know that you aren't a
bad person.

One-night-stands and random hook-ups start to
look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an
idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the
same emotions and questions over and over, and
talk with your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans, money, the future and
making a life for yourself... and while winning the
race would be great, right now you'd just like to be
a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone
reading this relates to it. We are in our best of
times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we
can to figure this whole thing out.

Women's Story with a Moral

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:21:00 +0000

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?"

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.

The Lord dipped his hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble. "Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.

When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Mel Gibson.

"Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is untruth! The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Mel Gibson, you would have come up with Tom Cruise. Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so that's why I said 'yes' to Mel Gibson."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

The Power of Holding Hands

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:20:00 +0000

I was sitting on a beach one summer day, watching two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand. They were hard at work building an elaborate sandcastle by the water's edge, with gates and towers and moats and internal passages. Just when they had nearly finished their project, a big wave came along and knocked it down, reducing it to a heap of wet sand. I expected the children to burst into tears, devastated by what had happened to all their hard work. But they surprised me. Instead, they ran up the shore away from the water, laughing and holding hands, and sat down to build another
castle.

I realized that they had taught me an important lesson. All the things in our lives, all the complicated structures we spent so much time and energy creating, are built on sand. Only our relationships to other people endure. Sooner or later, the wave will come along and knock down what we have worked so hard to build up. When that happens, only the person who has somebody's hand to hold will be able to laugh.

TWOgether

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:20:00 +0000

The power of two. God Created Adam, but it was not good for man to be alone, so He made Eve. One is unique, but two is better. Two is more, two can be lovelier, stronger. As the songs goes, love is lovelier the second time around.

A union is made of at least two. Twins are a pair of reflections. Two is a pair, a couple, partners. You need two to have a friendship, a relationship, even a divorce. A secret is more delicious when shared with one other, i.e., just the two of you.

Two is the number of duality. Sun and Moon. Black and White. Body and Soul. Good and Evil. Light and Shadow. Male and Female. Long and Short. Hot and Cold. Love and Hate.

In music, G clef and F clef. You sing a duet, you dance a pas de deux.

It takes two to tango.

We have two eyes, two ears, two lips, two arms, two hands, two legs. Some of us have two left feet.

Tea for two is not as good as tea drunk in solitude, but there’s an exception to every rule.

Two is too much when it comes to having and owning a spouse. In china, having two kids is having one too many.

In astrology, people born under the sign of the Twins (Gemini) are entitled to two of everything such as two first names, two friends with the same name, two houses and two cars and maybe two families, two children of each gender, two cellphones, two lawyers, etc.

The second sign of the Chinese horoscope is Ox, who come after Rat and before tiger. Can anyone tell me the astrological significance of that?

A two-timer is a heel and a jerk. A bigamist is a lawbreaker. Beyond bigamy, a polygamist is stupid, maybe rich but stupid just the same.

Why are Joe de V and company so hot about changing from a bicameral Congress to a unicameral parliament when they don’t even know what to call it in the national language? They can’t call it Batasan because that was Marco’s name for it. The old two-party system was definitely wiser and more reliable than the present schizophrenic multiparty system.

Linda Goodman on the Number 2, from her book, Star signs: “The Number 2 vibrates to the Moon. It represents imagination, parenthood, and sensitivity. Two is the number of conception, childhood, and dreams. “A person or entity is influenced by the Number 2 if born on the second, eleventh, twentieth, or twenty-ninth day of any month, in any year.” According to Goodman, 2 people possess a very romantic nature and are secretly psychic. Their intuition is highly developed, but they are afraid of shadows--and must guard against fearing shadows of fears. They fear conceivable kind of loss--loss of love, property, money, friendship, employment, loved ones through death or any kind of separation. “They are frantically devoted to or involved with (in either negative or positive sense) the parents, especially the Mother. They make ideal parent themselves, but they must be careful not to smother their children with possessive love.”

For myself (a Number One), two is a good number as long as I’m not No. 2, as long as I’m nobody’s second choice, and I don’t need seconds to be satisfied.

The Hardest Things in Love

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:17:00 +0000

1. Flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see.
2. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget.
3. Showing that you care.
4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart.
5. Learning that you've been used by someone you truly love.
6. Saying "I love you" when you mean it and when you don't.
7. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love.
8. Realizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted.
9. Realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with.
10. Waiting for promises you know he'll never keep.
11. Saving your love for someone who loves somebody else.
12. Reminiscing the good times you shared together.
13. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
14. Trying to hide what you really feel.
15. Having a commitment with someone that you know would not last.
16. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes.
17. Sharing the one you love w/ someone else
18. Loving a person too much.
19. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up.
20. Falling in love for the first time
21. Loving someone you haven't seen
22. Having the right love at the wrong time
23. Exerting effort to make the relationship last or work.
24. Not being appreciated when you know you've given your best.
25. Taking the risk to fall in love again.
26. Hiding your relationship from someone else.
27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend
28. Choosing between two persons whom you really love.
29. Finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of
30. Seeing the person you love with someone else

Loving involves two phases. The first intuitive one is loving the person because of who he/she is. The second nobler one is loving the person despite of who he/she is not. The first one sparks love. The second one makes it last.

The Spoon

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:16:00 +0000

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well," he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh, certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent."

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

Lesson from the Donkey

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:16:00 +0000

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

MORAL :

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.

4. Give more.

5. Expect less.

"Challenges are what make life interesting, overcoming them is what makes life meaningful."

You have two choices...smile and close this page, or pass this along to someone else to spread the fun.

Finding Mr. Right

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:14:00 +0000

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking, "Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said, "Yes."

She began to expound…

"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can’t do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more."

"I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, "I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man."

"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked… believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster."

"I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don’t need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me
grounded."

"I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive… he just
has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself."

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You’re asking a lot."

She replied, "I’m worth a lot."

The 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:13:00 +0000

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life.

What is the 90/10 Principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.

90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down.

The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off.

A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%.

The other 90% is different.

You determine the other 90%.

How?

By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction.

Don’t let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let’s use an example…

You are eating breakfast with your family.

Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.

You have no control over what just what happened.

What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.

She breaks down in tears.

After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table.

A short verbal battle follows.

You storm upstairs and change your shirt.

Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school.

She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work.

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.

Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school.

Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.

After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.

Your day has started terribly.

As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.

You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why?

Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did your daughter cause it?

C) Did the policeman cause it?

D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee.

How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you.

Your daughter is about to cry.

You gently say, "It’s ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time."

Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs.

After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.

She turns and waves.

You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.

Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios.

Both started the same.

Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens.

The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge.

Let the attack roll off like water on glass.

You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day.

A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic?

Do you lose your temper?

Pound on the steering wheel?

A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off!

Do you curse?

Does your blood pressure skyrocket?

Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work?

Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why lose sleep and get irritated?

It will work out.

Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day.

Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant?

She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.

Why get stressed out?

It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle.

Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.

You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible.

Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.

There never seem to be a success in life.

Bad days follow bad days.

Terrible things seem to be constantly happening.

There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships.

Worry consumes time.

Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest.

Friends are lost.

Life is a bore and often seems cruel.

Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged.

You can be different!

Understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It will change your life.

Have a Great Day & and even Greater Tomorrow!

Listening for Love by Jayne Fisher

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:12:00 +0000

There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words ‘I love you’. So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say ‘take care’ or ‘don’t drive too fast’ or ‘be good’.

But really, these are just other ways of saying ‘I love you’. ‘You are important to me’, ‘I care what happens to you, and ‘I don’t want you to get hurt’ all mean ‘I love you’. We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don’t say. And yet because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.

Therefore, I believe we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments, which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says ‘I love you’ even though the words might be saying something very different.

Any expression of a person’s concern for another says ‘I love you’. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that it contains.

We say ‘I love you’ in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even harshly. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness.

Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express. The problem is listening for love is that we don’t always understand the language of love, which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language.

We have to force ourselves to really listen for love. The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don’t listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face. Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry.

Simon and Garfunkel wrote that very haunting song, The Sound of Silence . It goes: Ten thousand people, maybe more. People talking without speaking; people hearing without listening; people writing songs that voices never shared, because no one dared disturb the sound of silence… It is a terrifying picture of our modern world, a world without communication and without love.

We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realise.

Just listen!

Trading Roles

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:11:00 +0000

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed: "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the cheque book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1 P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and
snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were."

You'll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night."

The Strength of a Man

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:10:00 +0000

The strength of a man isn't seen in the width of his shoulders.
It's seen in the width of his arms that circle you.

The strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice.
It is in the gentle words he whispers.

The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has.
It's how good a buddy he is with his or "your" children.

The strength of a man isn't in how respected he is at work.
It's in how he is respected at home.

The strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits.
It's in how tender he touches.

The strength of a man isn't in the hair on his chest.
It's in his heart... that lies within his chest.

The strength of a man isn't in how many women he's loved.
It's in how true he can be to the ONE woman he's trying to love.

The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift.
It's in the burdens he can carry.

The strength of a man isn't in how much food he eats from your table.
It's in the effort he puts forth when you are unable.

The strength of a man isn't in how he makes love.
It's in the understanding that there is more to making love... than making love.

- Source Unknown

The Meaning of Love

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:10:00 +0000

WHAT PEOPLE ASSUME LOVE IS:

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't love, it's LIKE.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't love, it's LUST.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't love, it's LUCK.

Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't love, it's LONELINESS.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't love, it'S LOYALTY.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't love, it's PITY.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't love, it's INFATUATION.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them??
It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a LIE.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't love, it's CHARITY.

WHAT LOVE REALLY IS:

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's LOVE.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there?
Then it's LOVE.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are??
Then it's LOVE.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret??
Then it's LOVE.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
Then it's LOVE.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why? The answer is so simple, because it's.. LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

One Flaw in Women

noreply@blogger.com (she lamsen) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 06:08:00 +0000

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable, and able to run on diet Coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart—and she will do everything with only two hands.”
The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands! No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18-hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her so soft, Lord.” “She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?” asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something, and, reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.

“The Lord said, ’The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”

“The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships, and they carry burdens; but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take no for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so that their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you this to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

However, if there is one flaw in women, it is that they forget their worth.