Aspiring Mum

{Revisiting} January.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:00:00 +0000

Welcome to the newest feature of Aspiring Mum - {Revisiting} - a recap of the 'best of' the month's posts. Just click on the highlighted link to go to that particular post.

The 1st of January saw the beginning of yet another year. A new year always brings so much excitement and anticipation about the possibilities and opportunities that lie ahead. I wrote about why I don't have resolutions and choose to use words to focus on. We're only 4 weeks into the new year, and already I'm embracing and focusing on those words. Yay me!

I joined in with Deb from Home Life Simplified in her 52 week challenge to Simplify Your Life. The first exercise was a fantastic one in reflecting on all that went right in 2011. It was a very hard year for so many, and yet people have been able to find the silver lining in so many adverse circumstances. The second challenge was defining our core values, which turned out to be a harder exercise than I thought it would be. It was interesting to read the values of others who have also joined in the challenge. And our family finally managed to get our mission statement together for the third week of the challenge. If you haven't got a family mission statement, I highly recommend taking the time to formulate what your values are and what you stand for as a family.

One of the things our family encourages is second chances. My children love to use it as their defense. But for us, a second chance means unconditional love, forgiveness and trying again.

Sometimes it's easy to feel lost in motherhood. Somewhere along the way, the elation of having a newborn fades, and we are left wondering who we are. I was so encouraged by all the comments on this post - as it is something we all face at times. Even if we have found ourselves (or our calling) in motherhood, I think at times it is possible to wonder if this is all we are - rather than an extension of ourselves.

January means back-to-school time for us in Queensland. My third child started school this year, and with 3 kids bringing homework home, I wanted to be organised with our homework and stationery supplies so I created a homework caddy and an over-the-door stationery organiser.

Of all the hats I wear as as mother, the teacher hat is one that I struggle with a lot. While I know that I am the best teacher for my children in order to give them that early foundation in life, I often wonder if I am doing enough.

Family Mission Statement {Week 3: SYL12}

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:47:00 +0000

Our family's mission statement - linking up with Home Life Simplified's 52 week challenge.

Family.

The very mention of that word makes my heart melt when I think about the family that I have been blessed with. I think about the experiences that we have shared and get excited about opportunities that await us in the future. I think about the life that we will have together - all the ups and the downs. And I think about what binds us together and what - I hope and pray - will keep us together.

Our mission statement is something that's been brewing for awhile. As a family, we've discussed our values and what we stand for, what we hope for our family etc. But sitting down and formalising those ideas has taken longer than I would have liked (especially with 2 children who kind-of get it, and 2 who have no clue!)

Fortunately, we were mostly on the same page as to what we like best, what we hope to change, what we hope to achieve and how we want others to see our family.

I mentioned in my values post about referring to our family as 'Team Mills'. I believe this title unifies us as a family. It gives our children a sense of belonging, and also encourages each individual to work together, support one another and be a team player. We are big on encouraging one another, helping one another and being each other's biggest fans. (And yes, I know that sounds like a cheesy-American television show.....) So....

As Team Mills:

We will treat each other with love, kindness and respect.

We will show forgiveness, compassion and grace.

We will pray together and make time for play, for fun and connection.

We will encourage one another and seek the best in each other.

We will choose happiness and gratitude.

We will have a welcoming home and be a safe haven.

As a family, we hope to make a difference.

Our family is something that I feel so privileged to be a part of - and as parents, we are responsible to our children for planting the seeds, nurturing their dreams, guiding their souls and giving them wings to soar. There are no guarantees that life will turn out the way we imagine, but we can do our best through the foundations that we (my husband and I) lay now and by keeping our family's mission statement at the forefront of our parenting.

Do you have a family mission statement?

The Teacher Hat.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:00:00 +0000

Chef. Hairdresser. Taxi driver. Referee. Laundress. Tailor. Housekeeper. Nurse. Negotiator. Juggler. Entertainer. Cheerleader. Masseuse. Teacher.

We wear many hats as mothers. Some come naturally and are a good fit. Some require a little more effort on our behalf. Some we don’t like, but we wear them out of love. And some make us question if we’re actually capable of the task.

Recently I was making a gift and Miss 6 stood beside me. After watching me intently for a few minutes, she asked, Can you teach me?

She’d never spoken those words. Normally it’s, Can I help you?

Can you teach me?

Such definitive words. Words that made me stop. Words that in a small moment, made me slow down and evaluate my role as a mother. Yes, I was also her teacher. If she had said, Can I help you? I would have said, Yes. You can cut the ribbon and pass it to me.

If she had said, Can you show me? I would have demonstrated how to knot the ribbon with her looking on.

But Can you teach me? All of a sudden, I felt vulnerable. Could I teach her?

My favourite teacher at school was Mr S, my year 11 physics teacher. There aren't many teachers’ names or faces that I can recall, but Mr S is forever etched into my memory. The reason? He was a fantastic teacher. The impact he made on my life all those years ago, has no doubt influenced in some part who I am today. Mr S was a firm disciplinarian, yet he was fair. He was a great encourager, and he wouldn't let us settle for less than our best. He saw our potential when we were blinded by 16 year old hormones and being too cool for school. He took the time to be with us, he treated us with respect and he rejoiced in our progress. He believed in us. He walked alongside us. He was inspiring. Those are qualities that I deem to make a great teacher. They are also qualities that I hope to demonstrate to my children.

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Out of all the hats that I wear as a mother, this is the one that often keeps me awake at night – wondering if I really am a good teacher for my children. Do I teach them enough? Did I do enough for them today to give them the foundations for their life in this world? Am I guiding my children and teaching them the values and qualities that will see them through life? Am I allowing them to bloom at their own pace? Am I encouraging them? Am I inspiring them?

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As a mother, there are so many things to think about. And the teacher hat is one of the hats that I often feel most overwhelmed by. Can I teach my children? Of course I can! I struggle, but I also know that I am the most qualified to give my children the strong foundation they need in order to be able to fly.

What hat do you struggle to wear in motherhood?

It's Raining, It's Boring. {Boredom Busters}

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 04:22:00 +0000

Being stuck indoors with little ones can only be tolerated for so long before the restlessness sets in. (And I'm not just talking about the children!) While I love rainy days to lie in bed and read a book, those days are long gone. These days I've added "rainy days with children underfoot" to my list of not-so-enjoyable-aspects-of-motherhood.

On rainy days, I try and avoid most housework, as I know that whatever is tidied will be messed up again, and there will always be constant interruptions whenever I try to begin a task. I don't enjoy being cooped up inside when it's raining - and I'm sure my children don't either. So I declare rainy days at home to be lazy days and try to plan a variety of activities to ensure my kids ~~don't drive me up the wall~~ are occupied.

1. Not-so-messy play. An alternative to goop - and all contained in a ziplock bag!

2. Indoor obstacle course. Set up a variety of 'obstacles' - cushions, chairs, brooms - to climb and crawl over, under and around.

3. Coloured rice/pasta. Put some funnels, spoons, containers, muffin tins in a box with coloured rice/pasta and let the kids pour/scoop.

4. Button sorting. Place some plates out with a different coloured button on each. Give your child a pile of buttons and encourage them to sort them onto the corresponding plate.

5. Leaf boats. Put on raincoats and head out to the street. Find some leaves and have boat races in the "river" (gutter).

What do your kids enjoy doing on rainy days?

Organising Homework/Stationery Supplies.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:28:00 +0000

Monday will see us (in Qld) back into the swing of things for another school year. For those with school-aged children, life is about to get that little bit busier - with the extra-curricular activities, assignments and homework. The dreaded homework usually begins around the second week of school - so it's a good idea to start thinking about how it will will be managed in your household.

Homework Tools:

Last year, I set up a little homework caddy for my eldest two girls. It only came out for homework and was put away when everyone had finished. We will use it again this year as it worked really well. To set up your own homework caddy you can read what I did to conquer the homework horrors.

Another 'tool' that I've adopted this year is an over-the-door hanging organiser. Another year older means additional stationery item requirements for each child. I wanted something that was user-friendly, easily accessible and didn't require a lot of effort in packing things away. Drawers don't work for me because a) kids don't look in them and b) if they do, contents never go back in them. Tins don't work so well either because the contents end up tipped on the floor and I'm the one who usually has to sort things back into the right container. So I decided to utilise some space in our games cupboard and make things easy for everyone and invest in a hanging organiser.

(not a fancy photo, but hopefully you get the drift)

This was purchased from Howard's Storage World - (a shoe organiser). In the organiser I have included:

paper

post-it notes

envelopes

paper clips

pens

highlighters

stapler

pencils

erasers

sharpeners

coloured pencils

crayons

markers

glue

scissors

sticky tape

rulers

It didn't take long to set up and I ignored the looks I got as I traipsed into HSW with 4 children.

Some other things to consider when getting organised for homework:

1. Age of children at school. The age of the child (and school requirements), will determine how much homework will be brought home and how much time is required each day/week to allocate for completing tasks.

2. Younger siblings. If there are younger siblings, it is a good idea to keep them occupied so they will not interrupt the older children. My youngest always wants to be in on the action, so I usually set her up with a puzzle, some toys or some drawing to stop her from interfering when her older siblings are doing school work.

3. Where to do homework. Do you have a centralised area (such as the dining table or kitchen bench)? Do your children have desks in their rooms? Is it too noisy? Are there other distractions? One of my daughters is easily distracted and needs to be alone and in silence to concentrate - otherwise a simple task will take her twice as long.

4. Time of day. What time of day best suits your child and your family for homework completion? Do you have extra-curricular activities to attend? When will you slot homework in? When are your children more alert to concentrate?

5. Supervision. If your children are in the younger grades, then they will require more supervision. Older ones will probably just need following up to ensure that they have completed the task and will obviously need a parent available if they have any questions.

What tips do you have for organising homework and stationery supplies?

What Do I Value? {Week 2: SYL12}

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 02:31:00 +0000

Joining up with Deb at Home Life Simplified for week 2 of SYL12 challenge - and talking about my values.

To be honest, I thought defining my values would have been fairly easy. I already know what I believe and what I stand for - so it should have been a simple exercise, right? But when it came to narrowing down to 5 core values, it got a bit trickier - what do I give more priority to? What forms the basis for my decision making, goal setting and living my life?

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My values are like a puzzle - all the pieces interlocking to form the picture of who I am. At the very centre are my five foundational values that impact on my everyday life:

1. Faith. Without a doubt, my faith is the foundation of my life and my values. Sure, I have my ups and downs like everyone else. I have suffered loss. I have struggled with PND and have felt lost in motherhood. But the one thing that I keep coming back to - that forms my identity, my decisions and the basis for all I stand for and believe in is my relationship with Jesus Christ. Without that relationship and my faith, I know my today would be completely different to what it is. I know that I would definitely not be sitting here, contemplating my values! My faith is the lens through which I look at the world and the rock for when life's storms batter me. It is the one thing I cling to, even if at times I feel it is not much more than a tattered thread.

2. Family. It really should go without saying that family is a top priority on my values list. Perhaps it's because my husband is from a blended family that I place such a high value on family. What's happened in the past with his family can't be changed and while my husband may not have had the most ideal of upbringings, we can ensure our own children do. When we became parents, it was our goal to prioritise the family unit. We are encouraging our children to value family and we refer to our family as 'Team Mills'. (Corny? Yes. But well worth it so the kids will always know that family is a place where they are always loved and can feel safe, regardless of what life throws at them).

3. Authenticity & Integrity. (Okay, that's two...). I don't like fake. I don't like people sacrificing their true selves to be someone they're not. I've seen people change who they are in order to be accepted, to fit in. Or people trying to win brownie points by being someone they're not. And it's sad. I did it as a teenager, and I did it in my early adult years on occasions - and it made me feel awful. It left me feeling empty and like I had sold myself out in order to be accepted. It made me inauthentic and lacking in integrity. Authenticity is about being true...honest...real to yourself. I will not conform to what I don't believe in. I will not be two-faced. I will not be something to one person and different to someone else. I won't follow the crowd just because everyone else is. By being authentic, being true to my beliefs and myself, I will live a life of integrity.

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4. Respect. That's right, like Aretha. Respect takes form in different ways - being courteous - arriving on time (a pet hate of mine is when people are late without reason) - good manners - a thank you note - appropriate use of mobile phones - all simple ways to show respect to others. The older I get, the more I see it becoming a lost art. Even amongst my own generation, there is a lack of respect. Respect is something I want to instil in my children. To show regard for someone else, to acknowledge someone else's effort, to say please and thank you. To acknowledge that we might disagree on things, but I will not treat you any different. The basis of respect is, Doing to others as you would have them do to you. It's not hard.

5. Intentional Living. Our time on this earth is so fleetingly short and I want to embrace that time and make each moment matter. I want my life to count for something. Each day I have a choice: to live on purpose, or to just go with the flow - wafting through life with no real direction. I choose the former. Each day I have the choice to make a difference in someone's life - my children's, my husband's, random strangers. Whether that be through my words or actions, or something as simple as a smile. The choices I make can and will impact on others - and I want those choices to count for something.

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I hope that my values are evident to others when they look at my life. There are so many other values that are intricately woven together to make up who I am, serving as a template for how I live. However I believe it's these five that make the biggest impact on my day-to-day life.

What values guide you?

Head over to Home Life Simplified for more on the Simplify Your Life challenge.

Lost in Motherhood.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 20:37:00 +0000

I don't know who I am any more.

Where have I gone?

Who is this person?

Who am I?

Why do we, as mothers, struggle with our identity? What is it about becoming a mother that makes us feel as though we've lost a part of ourselves?

Why is it hard to blend the images of our dreams with the stark harshness of daily life with young children? Why is it that becoming a mother somehow fulfils a need/gap - yet we can also feel like it takes so much of us away?

I've heard it often - amongst other mothers - the talk of losing ourselves, of losing our identity. The feeling of being someone, once upon a time. It's as though giving birth is the definitive date of two lives - before children and now. And it's the now that often leaves us wondering who we are and where we belong.

I'm not writing this to be negative. I'm not wanting to cast a shadow over something so beautiful. The smiles, the laughter, the fun times. They are definitely there. But sometimes, when we look under the surface, the cracks of insecurity and doubt over who we are or where we belong, are painfully obvious.

Personally, I've seen some very dark days. I'm not trying to negate the joy of motherhood, but I am about keeping things real. I want to put this out there because I know I'm not alone. I have struggled with feeling lost. Wondering who I am. Where do I fit in? Where have I gone? What is my value? Am I just a mother?

Perhaps we assume that life will go on as normal once children come along. And for some women it does.

Perhaps it's because our so-called freedom that we were accustomed to pre-children is suddenly dependent upon routine.

Perhaps it's from having to be unselfish, forever giving and the fact that motherhood is just so different to anything we've done before, that we lose a sense of who we are.

While we know becoming a mother changes everything, it's also hard at times to adapt to the change and let go of what once was. It's hard to shut out society and other influences, telling us that motherhood is not valued. Telling us that the life we have now is somehow worth less than the one we had pre-children. No wonder we feel lost and question who we are.

The thing I've learned (and am still learning) since becoming a mother is to not listen to that voice that says, You used to be someone.

I am still that someone. You are still that someone.

Yes, there was once a time before children. But right now is what we have.

Motherhood does not define me any more than the job I do, the car I drive or the hobbies I enjoy. It is an added dimension to life - as complex and difficult and enjoyable as it may be - but in no way should we let it define us.

Nor is motherhood about losing ourselves. Rather, it's finding a part of ourselves that we didn't know existed until we had children. Motherhood is an extension of who we are - it is not what we are.

Motherhood is about learning to find ourselves in the life that is our now.

Creativity for the Non-creative.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 19:00:00 +0000

Being creative does not come naturally to me. Not in the sense of, Look what I just made off the top of my head, or Look at the masterpiece I just painted!

Nope. For me, creativity takes a lot of effort.

For years I've held the belief that I was not destined to be a creative type. I was never going to have the talent that others looked to and oohed and ahhed over because, basically, I thought I didn't have it in me. Some people are so gifted that they can look at a mound of nothing and turn it into a beautiful creation. I look at something and wonder how on earth I'm going to achieve a recognisable end result.

Lately, I've come to the realisation that we all can be creative. (Yep, I'm a bit slow on the uptake at times!) As a Christian, I believe that God created this beautiful world we live in. And because we are made in His image, I too have some creativity in me....I just need to discover what it is, and bring it to the surface. I need to let go of my perfectionism (as in, I'm not going to try this because I know it won't work out) - and just try something. Anything. I need to learn to enjoy the process of creating, regardless of the outcome (although it's always a bonus if it turns out well!)

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I've thought about what influences my creativity, and how I can develop it further (remember, it doesn't come easy for me!) - and some points that I have found helpful for me are:

Write ideas down. When an idea comes to me, I want to be ready to record it, so I have notepads and pieces of paper everywhere (much to my husband's annoyance). I've even been known to tap notes into my phone in the middle of the night.
B~~ecome addicted to~~ Sign up to Pinterest (if you're not yet on there, let me know and I can send you an invite). If you don't know what Pinterest is, ~~where have you been?!~~ basically it's a virtual inspirational board where you can "pin" all those wonderful ideas that you aspire to do. It is a sure way to find inspiration to create. (Then you just need to put your ideas into action!)
Exercise. Exercise is not only good for the body, but great for the mind. Get your heart rate going and clear your mind so your ability to think clearly is enhanced.
Surround yourself with different people for new inspiration. Sometimes the same old, is, well - the same old. Being in the same environment, around the same people all the time can become....bland. Meeting new people can put a different perspective on things. I love meeting new people now that I'm older and wiser (ha!). I love hearing different life stories and being inspired by other people's passions.
Let go of perfectionism. The reason I'm not adventurous with my creativity, is that I talk myself into failing. That is, I just know the outcome won't be the same as the image I have in my head. And because of that - that it won't be perfect - I often fail to even try.
Sleep. Being tired limits our capacity for most things. I find that after about 9:30pm, my ability to think logically, rationally and creatively is lost. If I have an idea, I make a quick note and then try and leave it until after I've had some sleep when I'm fresh and clear-minded. (Although, the impatience in me wants it done right there and then!)

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Are you a creative genius? Or does it take a while for the creative juices to flow?

What tips do you have to ignite your creativity?

Second Chances.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 19:00:00 +0000

I've always loved words. Something about the written word resonates within me. And I've always liked the idea of using words as a way of decorating and inspiring the home environment.

For the past few years, we've renovated (or face-lifted) the homes we've lived in. And because we were never in a stage of 'finished' (until we sold), I never bothered with pretty-fying the walls. For at least four years running, we had mostly blank walls staring intently at us. And I hated it.

So when I first saw the pre-painted feature wall at the ready in our current home, I knew it was perfect for this quote:

(the wall is actually green, not grey...although grey looks kind of nice!)

However, what is often admired by visitors, has almost become the bane of my existence when it comes to my children.

See the second line?

(this is the colour!)

Those words have become the weapons of defence whenever my children are in trouble.

You see, when one of my children does the wrong thing, in order to avoid the impending discipline, they like to plead with me to give them a second chance.

But Mumm-eee {insert whiny voice}, the wall says, "We do second chances".

Yes. We do.

So, you need to give me a second chance! (Interpreted as: I don't want to be disciplined and I want you to forget that I threw/punched/yelled....)

And so it begins.

They often think that a second chance means that with their pleading, my husband and I will immediately forget their wrong-doing. They think a second chance is their 'get out of jail free' card. Their ticket to avoid discipline. Apparently, because the wall says so, it must be true, right?

It's a tough gig. I see their sincerity and I love their tenacity. But that's not the way we roll.

We do indeed do second chances in our family, but not for the sake of avoiding discipline. And before you think my husband and I are hard task-masters, let me explain...

In our family, second chances involve responsibility. Responsibility on our behalf as parents and responsibility on our children's behalf.

As parents, a second chance means I forgive you. It means I love you unconditionally. Even though I don't like or agree with what you have done, I forgive you. There are consequences, but I still love you and I forgive you. My responsibility as a parent is to show forgiveness to my child and allow them to learn and grow and try again. That's a second chance.

If my children believe that they will automatically get a second chance whenever they do something wrong - as defined by us saying, Oh, ok. Just don't do it again, - it may lead them to believe that mum & dad are pushovers - and they may lose respect for us as their parents. If they aren't corrected and encouraged to try again, then my husband and I fail to teach them a right heart attitude, and the lack of responsibility on our behalf will most likely come back to bite us in the future.

For our children, a second chance means that they are given another shot to learn to take control of their attitudes and behaviour within the security of our family's boundaries. In doing so, they are also learning to take responsibility for their own actions. They are learning from their mistakes and encouraged to grow.

A second chance = forgiveness + unconditional love + trying again.

In our home, we do second chances. Do you?

Reflecting on 2011 - What Went Right.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:00:00 +0000

I'm joining in with Deb at Home Life Simplified for her 52 week challenge. This is week 1.

I've had so many thoughts floating around my mind for this post. A flurry of words and ideas, but nothing that will flow easily. I've hit the backspace on the keyboard too many times, but I'm not going to spend hours trying to perfect a post that may or may not make sense. So, I'm just going to write....

We're only 6 days into a new year, yet 2011 seems so distant already. For me, the year that has passed was a blur. It seemed as though I blinked and entered 2012 without much of a chance to get things together.

I remember being so ambitious at the start of 2011. It was our year of playing 'catch-up'. The previous year (2010) had been a challenge for us. And 2011 was going to be our year to get back on top of things. But as things go, life doesn't always go to the way we plan.

Two things define 2011 for me: natural disasters and change. Who would have thought that we would somehow be involved with three natural disasters. Moments in history that would forever be etched into my memory. Moments that would put things into perspective but also bring about some wonderful changes.

Natural Disasters.

It was a summer to remember in Queensland. We lived a moment of history when the majority of the state experienced severe flooding. And the devastation left behind by the receding waters, was absolutely heartbreaking. We were some of the fortunate ones. While we weren't directly affected, the neighbouring streets and suburbs were. It was a strange time. The mix of emotions that rose to the surface were a combination of guilt, relief and sadness. It was a time where I felt absolutely helpless, continuing on with my daily life, while those two streets away were displaced due to the flood waters inundating their homes. I felt conflicted and a sense of urgency consumed me as I wondered what a mother and her children could do to help.
North Queensland was hit by Tropical Cyclone Yasi. My husband and a friend went up north just after the cyclone to help with the rebuilding. The images I saw of destruction just broke my heart.
In February, Christchurch, New Zealand was struck by a 6.3 magnitude earthquake. My husband just happened to be working in the town hall in Christchurch that day. I will never forget the emotions I experienced over the few hours it took until I could speak to him. I felt helpless, being so distant - and heartbroken for the people of Christchurch.

Obviously the plans we had made at the beginning of the year were put on hold. Life has a way of not always going to 'our' plan and through all the natural disasters that occurred in that short space of time, I was confronted with many thoughts about my life. I had things I wanted to do. Dreams I wanted to pursue. But doors around us were being slammed shut. Some friendships had waned and I found myself in an empty season of loneliness. I had been restless for a long time, and I knew that for things to change, we had to make a choice. I had already found myself sinking deeper into a rut prior to the events that began 2011. However by March, I knew that I was in desperate need of a change.

Mid-year, we made a choice.

Change.
Our family took a leap of faith and moved to the other side of the city. Away from family. Away from the few friends that remained. Away from what we had known for so long (over 17 years long). To where we knew no-one. While it may not seem like a big deal (some people have moved cities and countries), it was a huge change for me, even though I've always been quite independent. To move from familiar and sometimes too comfortable, to strange and vulnerable took courage. To climb out of a rut into a new adventure took a lot of risk and even more faith.

But it was the. best. thing. we. ever. did.

Our family was able to start again. We had a clean slate. We weren't surrounded by cliques. We weren't judged for family matters. Finally, we were known for our own family unit and we didn't have to live in the shadow of others. I discovered a confidence that had lain dormant, crushed by cliques and family and friends for so many years. Suddenly, I was meeting people who saw me for who I was. I had a clearer perspective on things, and I began to enjoy my family even more. I finally gave myself permission to enjoy things just for me, and to challenge myself in ways that I never knew I could. My faith grew stronger, and I was able to put to rest some attitudes that had fed doubt to me for many years.

2011 was the year my wings began to flutter...

And that's what went right.

The Mother I Want To Be {from the archives}

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 19:00:00 +0000

Reflecting on my role as a mother, and all I aspire to be - I'm revisiting this post...

The Mother I want to be is welcome anytime in our home. And I catch glimpses of her every now and then, but most of the time, she's just out of reach.

The Mother I want to be would have all the time in the world to read, and play, and tickle, and laugh with her children.

But the Mother I am seems to be caught up with 'to-do' lists, and folding laundry, and preparing meals, and cleaning.

The Mother I want to be would have the patience of Job and the wisdom of Solomon.

But the Mother I am is snappy, wears cranky pants, and can't think clearly.

The Mother I want to be would smile and use kind words.

But the Mother I am has a frown line and can shoot words that cut deep.

I can see the Mother I want to be. In fact, I like her a lot. And I so want to be her.

But the Mother I am gets in the way, and keeps the Mother I want to be from staying around.

But...

Thank God for grace. And forgiveness. And new mornings.

I just pray that my children will be able to look beyond the Mother I am and see me as the Mother I want to be.

No Resolutions, Just Words.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

Today marks the beginning for many people on their well-meaning journey towards their newer, better, fitter, thinner, healthier selves. I saw so many resolutions over the last few days and I think I was a little overwhelmed with what people are hoping to achieve this year. However, there's no point in comparing, because everyone is different, but I sincerely wish you all the best if you made resolutions!

Personally, I'm not a resolution-making person. Dreams, yes. Goals, definitely. Sure, I have ideas. I have lists. I have many things I aspire (ha!) to be and do. But making resolutions just doesn't work for me. Simply for the fact that they are too vague and too wishful. Sure, I would like to be fitter and eat better, and there's nothing wrong with dreaming or wanting things to happen, but unless I action those thoughts, absolutely nothing will change.

A few years ago, I decided to abandon the resolution-making process and approach the year from a different perspective. With words.

Words give me clarity. They inspire me. They encourage me. They spur me on when I'm feeling down, and they keep me pressing on. Leading up to the new year, I tend to spend time in reflection, in thought and prayer about where I've been and the path that lies ahead. It's usually during this time of reflection and forward thinking, that I am able to identify some words that I will take into the new year with me as a means of intentionally focusing on what I want to achieve.

The words generally define where I'm at, where I am being led and where I hope to be. Each word is applicable to all areas of my life and intertwine with the goals I set for myself.

It's interesting, to say the least, to get to the end of each year, and see how the words I've chosen have fit into my life that particular year. Two years ago, a word for me was challenge. Initially, I took that on board as stepping out of my comfort zone. Being bolder in different areas, and challenging myself in different ways. As I read through my journal at the end of that year, I discovered that challenge had been a very appropriate word - but not in the way I would have ever have chosen or thought. The year was challenging because we faced health issues in the family, we had financial pressures and I was also the main bread-winner for awhile. It was indeed, a challenge. But it also grew me in ways I never thought I could grow.

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This year will see some big changes in our home life - our third child will be heading off to school, leaving one child at home. I will be working part-time, studying part-time, and working towards some long-overdue, important-to-me goals (and trying to stay sane). I have no doubt that this year will be busy, different and once again, challenging.

With all these changes in mind, I know I still want to be stretched and moulded and grown, so the words that will be my focus for 2012 are:

grow

laugh

courage

faith

time

commit

eternity

How about you?

Do you make resolutions, set goals or choose words?

What words would you choose for 2012?

A New Year on the Horizon.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

The road lays open before me. Unchartered territory.

A place where no-one has been before.

I approach the journey with excitement and nervous anticipation.

With fear and faith.

A new year is dawning and in the rearview mirror, I see the year that was.

The highs and lows.

The moments of teaching, of learning.

Moments to hold onto - treasuring them in my heart, forever captured with the camera of my mind.

And I see other moments I'd rather forget.

I see the growing, the changing.

Learning from mistakes.

Falling down, dusting off and trying again.

In the rearview mirror, I see the days gone by.

What's been has been. The past is past.

The memories remain, but there is no point holding onto regret,

the 'what-if's' or the 'should-haves'.

It's time to leave those things behind and look towards a new day.

It's time to move on.

A new year is on the horizon.

With new opportunity.

New paths.

New journeys.

New seasons.

New challenges.

A new year is dawning and I approach it with boldness.

With courage.

With excitement.

Ready to move forward.

Ready to embrace what lies in the tomorrow.

I look forward to journeying with you in 2012!

May there be many new and wonderful opportunities for you in the new year.

From the archives....Can I Be a 'Yes' Mum?

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 21:24:00 +0000

This post has been tweaked a little from the archives.....This is something that is a continual work-in-progress. It's something that doesn't come naturally to me, but it's something I'm aspiring to be...a 'Yes' mum.

Sometimes my reflex response to a request is No.

Can we do this?

No.

Can I play this?

No.

I grew up in a fairly strict household where I heard No and Because I said so frequently. I would often refrain from asking anything because I was afraid the answer would always be No. From a young age, I knew that this was something I never wanted to do with my own children. Not that I wanted to be a push-over, where every answer would be Yes - but I knew that I wanted to allow more freedom (within boundaries) and give reasonable answers rather than Just because I said so.

But things don't always go to plan, and sometimes the very best intentions fall by the way.

Unfortunately, No has been part of my vocabulary more times than I'd like. Sometimes my No's are for a legitimate reason, but other times they're not so. Sometimes I say No to my children's requests because I'm tired, the timing is wrong or truth be told, I just don't feel like doing what they want me to do. Saying No is not something that I set out to do - it's just something that has, over time, become a very bad habit. And I didn't realise how much of a bad habit it was until recently when my daughter asked, Mummy, why do you say no a lot?

Ouch.

Unfortunately this almost-natural, instant reaction has stolen so many potential moments and opportunities from me and my children. As a child, I didn't like the rejection, so I didn't ask. I don't want that for my children. I don't want my children being afraid to ask me things because they'll assume I'll say No. I want to be a Yes mum!

So, there are two simple questions that I'm trying to ask myself as a reminder that Yes needs to be embraced more:

Is what I'm doing now so urgent, or can it wait?

What's the worst that can happen if I say Yes?

Simple questions, yet hard to practice at times.

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Being a Yes mum is not always easy. It's amazing how difficult old habits can be to break. But ever so slowly, I'm getting there. I'm trying to remind myself of the Yes opportunities more and discovering special moments that may have otherwise been lost to the instant response of a flat-out No.

Do you find it hard to be a 'Yes' mum?

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 06:03:00 +0000

My children, like most I expect, are so excited that there are only 2 sleeps left until Christmas. They have been telling me for weeks that 'it feels so much like Christmas'. And for once, I agree with them.

It hasn't always been that way. Somewhere in the process of growing up, the magic of Christmas waned. Oh, don't get me wrong. I absolutely love Christmas. I love celebrating the special gift given for all to receive. I love the lights, the time with family, the presents. But somewhere along the line it became a blur of activity and responsibility. There was always things to do, places to go, people to see. It was rushing here and there with little time to breathe.

The thing I haven't enjoyed about Christmases past is the busyness. The rushing. The haste that climaxes and then *blink* it's over. And all of a sudden, you're left picking up the scraps of abandoned paper. And for another year, it's over.

This year, however, it's different...

Perhaps it's the fact that I'm not holding a baby or chasing after a little toddler. Perhaps I've been more organised so the last minute rush hasn't been necessary. I'm not sure what it is, but this year, this is how Christmas is supposed to feel.

I'm watching the excitement and anticipation build within my children. I'm watching them embrace the nativity and share the meaning of Christmas with each other as they play. I'm watching them enjoy the Christmas activities I've planned, and I've heard their laughter and seen their smiles as they enjoy each other's company.

I don't mean for that to sound like a cheesy happy family scenario (because we still have our moments like any family, just one this morning in fact). But there's definitely something to be said for slowing down and stopping to savour each moment.

This is the last post for me before Christmas, and I'd just like to thank you for following along with Aspiring Mum. Wishing you and your family a wonderful Christmas.

Keep safe, slow down and be sure to enjoy and cherish each beautiful moment.

Coles Giftpacks: Giveaway.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 05:11:00 +0000

I was hoping to get this to you earlier than today...and here we are 4 days out from Christmas!

If you've paid a visit to your local Coles, you may have noticed some great gift packs adorning the shelves in the lead-up to Christmas - and I was sent some to review and giveaway. (Not that I'll be testing them in one hit, because the smell might just be a bit overwhelming. Sure, I'd be clean, but I'd also have a headache to boot.)

There are a variety of gift packs available - suitable for men, women and kids - so you're sure to find something for someone on your list. The products I received are great gift ideas if you're on a budget (most packs come in under $20), if you're stuck for a last-minute idea or perhaps even to treat yourself.

Thanks to thrive pr and Coles, I have some of these great gift packs to give away. Five packs to be exact!

1. For Him: 1 x Top Gear 3 piece Gift Set (body wash, soap and sponge) and 1 x Top Gear Stig (body wash). Value: $15.40.

2. For Him: 1 x Lynx 'Africa' Gift Set (Deodorant body spray, anti-perspirant, shower gel and loofah) Value: $15.

3. For Her: 1 x Smith Street Body wash (3 scents: plum, pineapple, cherry) and 1 x Classic Collection Floral Soaps. Value: $10.

4. For Her: 1 x Miller & Moore bath time bliss set. Set contains: 1 each of - shower gel, hand cream, body scrub, body lotion and bubble bath. Value: $10.

5. For Her: 1 x Colour Co. Eye Shadow: Sun Goddess, and 1 x Colour Co. Ultimate Nails Perfect Polish Set. Total value: $20.

For other gift packs available, you can view the Coles Christmas Gift Guide here.

For your chance to win a gift pack, complete the form below (just a note that comments will take a moment to appear):

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks to thrive pr and Coles for the packs I received to review and giveaway. I received no monetary compensation for this post, and all opinions are my own.

Christmas Button Baubles.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:42:00 +0000

This is a very simple and cute craft. I attempted to do this the other day with the kids - but the buttons had gone AWOL. (It seems my children liked the look of some of my save-it-for-a-special-craft-moment pieces, and decided to use them as tokens in a game and for their "collections".)

To make Christmas button baubles, you will need:

An assortment of buttons (you can pick up variety packs at places like Big W).
Coloured paper or card.
Bauble template (mine is from here).
Glue (preferably craft/PVA glue).

What to do:

Trace the outline of the Christmas bauble on to a piece of paper or card.
Cut around the outline.
Glue on the buttons.

The buttons make it quite heavy, so if you're using paper (like we did), you might like to glue it onto some card first before you begin gluing the buttons on.
You could also go one step further and frame it for a display or gift.

For more Christmas ideas, click on the Christmas tab at the top of the page.

Motivation: Just Keep Pedalling.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 06:40:00 +0000

The five of us rode our bikes along the usual route around the lake. My eldest in front, then Miss 6, Master 4 followed and I pedalled last with Miss 2 in the seat on the back of my bike. We hadn't been riding in months. I was feeling lethargic, the kids had some energy to burn and when I suggested a bike ride, they instantly jumped at the chance. Usually there are a few moans, but today, everyone was eager to get out.

As we pedalled around the lake, Miss 2 and I chatted about the ducks and the swans enjoying a swim. Miss 8 became quite upset at one stage because she saw a snake. Miss 6 bumped her leg, but we continued on. The path has a few small rises. And Master 4 couldn't quite get up those today. His little legs were tired, he couldn't sustain his momentum, and he'd eventually stop when his oomph had gone. On numerous occasions, I found myself riding up next to him and giving him a push - just enough speed so he could begin pedalling on his own. A few times he became tired from the journey: I can't do it Mummy. I can't get up the hill. I would ride beside him: Keep pedalling, mate. You can do it. You've done it before. I know you can do it. And I'd give him a little push and off he'd go.

The little push and the words of encouragement were all he needed to keep motivated and keep going. And when we finally got to our destination, the look of happiness and relief on his face were a testament to his hard work and persistence.

It's easy to lose motivation - not just at this time of year, but anytime. We can set our goals. We have our sights on an end result. We can begin the journey towards our vision with a spring in our step, but all of a sudden, life gets in the way. We become overwhelmed, uninspired, unmotivated, lethargic, drained, burdened and we easily forget what we're aiming towards. We might catch glimpses of the end at times, but sometimes we really lack the oomph to keep going.

Sometimes we get off track, we lose sight of where we're going. We stop.Sometimes, we need something to spur us on. To give us the push to get up those hills that get in our way. We need encouragement, a pat on the back. Someone to believe in us and our vision. Someone to walk beside us and remind us to keep pedalling even when we feel like giving up.

Ultimately, our motivation comes down to choice. Our own internal decision to choose. We can choose to keep going, no matter how hard it is. No matter how tired we feel, or how many hills there are. Or we can choose to stop. To give up. The thing is, our goals will remain incomplete, unfinished, not-yet reached if we stop. Nothing will change, and chances are we won't feel so good about ourselves if we give up.

My son chose to keep going. He knew how hard it was for him, but he chose to climb those hills. It took some effort, but he made it. We can't move forward if we're standing still. And we'll only go backwards if we let go.

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Do you have some goals or visions that you're working towards?

With a new year fast approaching, what will keep you motivated?

Just keep pedaling.

Mini Christmas Wreaths

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

My son *made* (obviously with a little help) this gorgeous wreath at kindy - which now hangs in our playroom. I absolutely love it, and like that the kindy teachers chose scrap material instead of mainly kitschy Christmas material.

I've always liked the look of ribbon/material wreaths since discovering them on Pinterest. However, I didn't have anything on hand to make one. Instead, I found some curtain rings in the back of our bitsa cupboard (that I'd assigned for another project, not curtains) and thought some mini wreaths could be in order.

To make:

Ribbons - in your choice of colour. For ours, I chose red, green, white and silver (I don't normally go for red & green, but for this project I did.)

Curtain rings.

How to make:

Cut ribbon lengths of 10-12cm. I cut 6 of each colour.
Knot a ribbon onto the ring.

Continue knotting until the wreath is covered.
Tie an extra ribbon on as a loop to hang off the Christmas tree.

Age: Suitable for ages 8+ (due to the dexterity required.)

Ages 4-6: can help by cutting the ribbon.

Time: 15-45 minutes (depending on how many interruptions there are.)

These wreaths look great as an ornament or could even be used as an embellishment on a gift.

A Dare: To Encourage.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

*Long post*

Imagine you’re going to a wedding, a formal function, or just getting ready for an evening out. You've spent some time carefully selecting the perfect outfit and shoes to match. You shower, do your hair, your make up, and after looking at yourself several times in the mirror, you realise that you've scrubbed up pretty well. Satisfied, you leave for the event feeling fairly confident because, in your mind, you've put the effort in and you look quite nice.

During the evening, people walk up to you, give you the once over and walk away. They are silent. No-one comments on how nice your dress is, or how lovely your hair looks. Or even that it’s good to see you. Complete silence. You look around, feeling a bit shocked and also a little deflated, hoping to catch the eye of someone. Hoping to gain some reassurance or a word of encouragement that the time and effort you put into preparing for the night was worth it. Even a hello would be nice! But there’s nothing. How does it make you feel?

Deflated? What's the point? Why bother?

This scenario may be a bit extreme, but I'm sure you would agree with me that it's nice when someone pays us a compliment or offers an encouraging word. I love it when someone tells me that I've helped them in some way. Just a small thank you or a pat on the back - some form of appreciation. I don’t crave encouraging words, and I don't do things for an ego boost - but it’s nice to hear that what you’re doing is worthwhile.

You're probably wondering where I'm going with this...

For me, writing is not too dissimilar to the above scenario. (For non-bloggers/writers, I'd like you to just hear me out a little....)I write because I enjoy it. It’s a creative release for me. It’s a passion. It’s something I can do while I'm home with the kids. I write because I like to help and through that, I’d like to think that my words can inspire or encourage someone, somewhere. To me, writing can be similar to getting getting frocked up and presenting your best to people. It’s a vulnerable thing – putting yourself out there, at risk of disapproval or being ignored. I don’t write to seek approval or to receive praise. But undeniably, it’s also nice when people offer some encouragement, to say Hey, I get you. Or, Thanks, that really spoke to me.

Yet, so often the only response to my (and other writers) words is silence. Unlike the song lyrics, silence is not always golden. In fact, silence can make you feel a bit stupid. Invalidated. Especially as a blogger (and I am getting so sick of that term, that I am thinking about coining a new one)…where you put (most of the time) a lot of thought and heart into a post and wait, and wait, and wait….and you wonder if anyone is reading. Hello? Is anyone out there?

But the thing is, we self-publishing-to-our-own-website people know that other people do in fact read what we write. We have our ways and means of knowing these things, and for how long you stick around for. So if you read, why do you leave without saying something? Why do people take, and not so much give? Oh, I know it takes time to think of something to say. And I know we can't be all things to all people and comment every.single.time. But I’m just curious as to why people check us out – and then leave, without a backward glance.

I understand that words of encouragement don't come easily or naturally for everyone. They can make us feel a bit uncomfortable. We might even think it makes us look silly. Encouraging someone takes us out of our comfort zone. It makes us feel vulnerable and we certainly don’t want to be responsible for inflating someone’s ego!

But think about it. When you put a lot of effort into something, how do you feel when someone fails to acknowledges that? How do you feel when someone ignores what you’ve done?

I'm not writing this as a ranty post. (Because I'm not in a ranty mood.) And I'm not writing it for myself as a woe-is-me post. The inspiration for writing this has been from many observations and because I'm just curious.

So, with my curiosity, I thought I'd propose a challenge....and it is this:

I challenge you to give some virtual encouragement – the equivalent of a real-life high-five or pat on the back. For all the blogs you read, and for all the facebook pages you follow – I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and leave a comment or thumbs up. I'm not saying to go crazy and over-the-top with encouragement, because then the words and the sentiment lose their sincerity. Rather, I challenge you to brighten someone’s day by simply encouraging their effort.

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I dare you!

Also linking up with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT.

Permission to Be.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

In my dreams, I see myself lazing on a sunbed by the sea. Cocktail in hand. Book in the other. Listening to the peaceful sounds of the ocean waves. And feeling the soft breeze of the palm trees against my skin.

I see myself dining in a restaurant, not a care in the world. Enjoying a glass of wine with my meal and people-watching with my husband.

I dream of lazy lie-ins and a massage at a day spa.

My dream involves me escaping and relaxing. Putting my feet up and not being concerned with the day-to-day goings-on. No cooking. No laundry. No disputes to settle. A chance to recharge. To sleep without interruption. To eat in peace.

The chance to just be.

This weekend saw my dream become a reality. A weekend away with no children. No agenda. No time constraints. No computer. Nowhere to rush to. A chance to just be.

Sound like pure bliss?

It was.

Eventually.

The reality is, it took me a day-and-a-half to totally relax. A day-and-a-half of fidgeting, of wanting to be somewhere, of not being able to sit still. Of not wanting to waste time because it was all we had without the children. A day-and-a-half of feeling a bit lost without 4 children hanging off me. A-day-and-a-half of my husband telling me to just be.

I've always found it difficult to stop and relax. I am not a stress ball by any means. But I also know that I don't relax easily. I know I'm supposed to. I've written about the importance of it. And I understand why it's necessary. But I have never allowed myself to. Instead, I multi-task. My brain never stops thinking. I'm always jumping ahead to the next thing. And I feel guilty if I just stop.

Until now.

This weekend saw a change. This weekend, I enjoyed lazy lie-ins and doing nothing. I enjoyed having no agenda - nowhere to be with nothing to do.

I finally stopped.

And in doing so, I discovered that the world kept spinning. My kids had a great time with their grandparents. And I survived.

I finally gave myself permission to just be.

And it was bliss.

Do you find it hard to stop and just be?

Or am I just a bit crazy that I find it so difficult?!

Christmas Mandala Placemats

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

*Sigh* Christmas holidays have begun (my girls finished school on Tuesday) and already it seems reminiscent of the last summer holidays - yep, it's been raining again.

Amidst the soggy outings, I'm thankful that my kids have enjoyed some quiet time spent colouring. The other week I put a link on my facebook page to a great website for Christmas colouring-in pages and had mentioned that we were going to make placemats with our finished pictures. I recently discovered some Mandala Christmas patterns that I thought would be fantastic for this idea as well. (How many placemats can you have, right?)

Wondering what a Mandala is?

A Mandala is a graphic and often symbolic pattern usually in the form of a circle divided into four separate sections or bearing a multiple projection of an image. (Source).

Just like this:

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The kids loved these - purely because they were something different to the usual Christmas colouring pages that are out there.

To make your own Christmas placemats:

Print out a picture.
Colour.
Cut.
Paste onto bright paper or card.
Laminate.

The very crinkly, well-used placemats.

This is a very simple and cheap Christmas craft that has the potential to look very effective. My kids were quite proud of their finished products. (They made 3 each - supposedly so they could have one for each meal....personally, I think they're just a little obsessed with the laminator...)

Some Christmas colouring pages:

Kids-n-fun

Christmas Printables

DLTK Christmas Colouring

Kidspot

Other Aspiring Mum Christmas Craft:
DIY Christmas Bauble Decorating
Our 2011 Advent Calendar
Easy Christmas Baubles

I'm also joining up with Kate from Puddles and Gumboots today.

Fifteen Things For My Wedding Day.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. Seventeen years together, fifteen years of marriage and four kids - it certainly brings a lot to the table. (It has also made me realise that I'm no longer a spring-chicken. *Sob* The term old married woman is sounding all too familiar....)

There have certainly been a lot of memories and roller-coaster rides packed into our 15 years. It hasn't been all smooth sailing, and life hasn't always panned out the way we would have liked it to. But as I was reflecting on our life together and how some things have changed (and some things never will....the snoring, the smells...) I thought I'd share some thoughts:

15 things I'd tell my 20-year old naive self on my wedding day.

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Plan your wedding day to how you'd like it. Not how your mother wants it.
Don't nag your husband. If you want something, ask. Spell it out for him. He doesn't understand cryptic or pick up on hints. He also can't read your mind.
Learn when to talk and learn when to be silent.
Give your husband space in his 'cave' when he needs it. Men are different to women. They need their down-time too. Don't feel rejected. Give him time. He'll come out of his cave when he's ready.
You were a family before children came along. And you will still be a family when the children move out. Remember that.
Pray together. Every day.
There may be days (even seasons) when you don't feel much love. You might wonder who this person is that you married. But remember what made you fall in love the first time and hold onto that.
Find something you enjoy doing together, and plan to do it regularly.
Sort your problems out before you go to bed. Don't sleep with a wall between you.
Love can't pay the bills. Talk about money (how you're going to make it, how you're going to spend it) before it becomes a strain on your relationship.
Laugh. And then laugh some more.
Keep in touch with your pre-marriage friends. As a couple, you won't be able to meet each other's needs for friendship all the time. Keep your external interests alive so you don't become co-dependant and needy.
Make time for each other each day.
Tell him you love him every day and always kiss each other goodnight.
Your husband is not perfect. You are not perfect. Life is not perfect. Learn to let go and roll with it.

What advice would you give your newly-married self?

Counting with Cereal.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

My Master 4 is a numbers man. He likes anything with order, numbers and design. I keep telling him he'll be an engineer when he's older. (He's actually quite proud of that, and insists on telling people that's what he wants to be...no fireman aspirations for him!) He's also off to prep next year *sob* and so I've been focusing a bit more on activities at home with him that involve number.

I try and find learning activities for my children that align with their interests. I'm not one for workbooks - and I believe young children would (and should) learn through something fun rather than sitting still and writing in a book. (Not that there's anything wrong with worksheets - they've got their place, but for me personally, home is not one of them). Because Master 4 has taken such an interest to numbers, I set up a very simple self-directed activity using Cheerios (cereal), a mini muffin tray and dice. (Master 4 and I made the dice prior to the activity).

Easy instructions:

1. Roll the dice.

2. Count out the number of cheerios and put in a muffin hole.

Such a simple counting activity which also encourages dot number recognition (and the best part, according to my son, is that it's edible!)

Also linking up with Jess from Diary of a SAHM for IBOT.

Torn.

noreply@blogger.com (Debbie @ Aspiring Mum) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 19:00:00 +0000

As I look at my daughter, so intently focused on the picture she draws, my heart aches - torn between sadness and a sense of pride.

When did my little girl suddenly grow up? When did she become this person, on the verge of her tween years who is forming opinions, and making decisions, and joining in conversation with grown-ups? When did she become so wise, so curious, so knowledgeable?

Deep down, I know she has been these things for a long time. But here in this moment, I feel I blinked and missed a part of her childhood. It seems like only yesterday when I held her in my arms as a newborn. There were moments that I longed so much for her to grow up, to be out of the total dependency phase. And now, that time is all but here. And the reality is, I don't know if I'm ready.

I feel an ache. Almost the hint of grief at the loss of time with my little girl. Does she know that I had to sacrifice time with her as her younger siblings joined our family portrait? Does she ever feel that she's missed out? Does she hold any hurt in her heart for moments lost?

I blinked, and it seems all of a sudden, my girl is finding her feet. She is gaining her independence, her confidence. She is finding her wings.

Is this what people mean when they say they grow up way too fast? Do they feel the same pangs too? Do they feel conflicted over what has passed and what is yet to come?

These are moments that I truly treasure. The connections we have. The jokes we share. The curious questions she asks. The contagious laughter. The way her eyes sparkle when she smiles. Watching her gain confidence and understanding. The special bond we share.

Yet I am torn - caught between holding on and letting go. Nervously awaiting the next phase, yet mourning the loss of what has passed.

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