Pickled Chickens and Punk Rock Pork Chops

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T13:17:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! The next post will be coming in the New Year, so until then and to all, may you have a wonderful Christmas, and a happy New Year. Many thanks and much gratitude to all of you for such a great year and such promise for the one to come. Wishing everyone great joy and happiness.

Merry Christmas!

A Note of Praise

2011-12-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, The relief of having all the Christmas shopping done, and being ahead of my normal last minute panic. Now the only thing left for this year, is getting the kids out to finish their shopping.

Typically, my kids will take a small amount of money, around $5 per gift to each other, and summon some of the most creative things as gifts to supplement things that they have made themselves.. From thrift and resale shops, dollar store finds, or rummage sales (depending on forethought). Each year the exchange is always surprising and amazing to me as to how creative and insightful they are about each other. The very same siblings that before heading to school in the morning vie to destroy each other or subject one another to their self gleaned superiority.

This would also be a nice gift for me.

As for myself, well besides my 32gb yearly published PDF Christmas list, (sorry, not in print this year) I do not ask for much. This year they asked me what I wanted, and I asked for some cans of shoe polish, and a polishing brush. This may sound unexciting to some, but hey, I like shiny shoes. Otherwise, I have requested an alternative to convince "Grandma" to pass down the old family silver tea set to us. We have tea every evening during homework and reading time, and currently are sharing a small 2 cup tea pot. This may be the most costly gift I have ever asked for from them yet. Not that "grandma" would charge them any money, but there is always a price when dealing with the master of; "oh, and maybe you could help me with something..."

Otherwise, we have a modest exchange of gifts, and some cookie addict in a red fuzzy suit leaves us all one "wishlist" gift. I may not talk much about my mini minions on this blog, but do not mistake that for not being proud of them. Its at this time of year I am reminded how despite my feeble parenting skills, or clueless approach to issues that teens and preteens present, my kids are handling growing up better than I am. So to my kids go a note of praise... just don't let it go to your heads, your Birthdays are coming up soon...

Anti-Social: Less Stress the Old Fashioned Way

2011-12-07T18:45:00.001-08:00

Every day I park my widening backside in front of the glowing portal to the world, and learn something new. Someone invents some new technology, or a company produces some new tool or gadget to improve our lives in some way. Jumping from my email, to my reader, then to the social sites, groups and then forums. All this simplicity is so complex.

This is not big news, since many studies are appearing about the subject of stresses caused by information overload. With the pressure to check in when you go somewhere with your phone to your social site, or to make sure you comment on at least a few friends or colleagues posts to ensure the world that your still alive, can be tedious.

Its hard enough figuring out what cool thing to post let alone where to post it

There are times that I go hermit on the social scene. Checking in just to read what is going on, posting nothing myself, keeping my pluses and likes to just a nod or a laugh for my dog to witness. The inbox in my email will go unsorted and fill with the daily garbage; not tagged or filed away. My phone gets a chance to sleep longer on the charger, and my voice mail has a chance to play that witty message to some new ears that usually get better attention. The MP3 player can rest its vocal chords, and the game system can have some shore leave from it's usual daily battles. It isn't about removing oneself from the world, but not having to react or jump into it. I still read my usual blogs, e books, and important mail. I'm just going to observe from the side for a while. Sit on the virtual porch swing and watch the world happen around me.

Strangely the things that keep this odd ritual that I started a few years ago are the very things that make the digital age bearable to me. Either the morning coffee while reading, afternoon tea while writing, enjoying a smoke with my pipe while checking on the social sites-all bring a mix of the old and the new. I still sit by candle light or an old oil lamp at times to read, either a real bound book or from my reader device before I go to bed.

sometimes are better than others to check-in

My point is that we all have our fill of the electronics in our lives at some point, not to mention what they link us to. All of the stress and pressure is self imposed. Either by stepping back on occasion to ignore the endless feeds of information, or just applying it to a more traditional routine can refresh the way we use these tools. Making your rss, news, and blog feeds into your morning paper with breakfast can realign the day back to something normal again. Setting your phone to auto check in when you go places can keep you socially up to date throughout the day and allow you to comment on it later while watching TV with the family at night. Set the forums and groups to a schedule as you would the time you spend on the hobbies that they are about. Now when I go to my shop and work on a project, I take my laptop and set it on the bench behind me. If I'm working on a bike, it is there to get info, post stuff, or just stream some music while I accomplish something. With the devices we have that allow for such portable connection to the world, set them to the tasks rather than being the task.

As a society, we embrace new things and become consumed with making them fit for everything we do. That is where the stress comes from. We can learn a lesson from the past, and take note to the predecessors of what our technology replaces. The forums and groups, replace the niche clubs, specialty magazines and newsletters. Email replaces mail. Social Networks replace having coffee at the town diner or a night out at the club with friends. While it may not outright replace them, they serve a similar function. It is when we still try to do both the original and the digital replacement at the same volume that stresses us.

Besides the added stress of the Christmas season, the buying, the bills, and the general busier atmosphere, streamline your digital use and you may be surprised at how easy and liberating it can be. Just do not cut me out of the loop, this blog is important and should be a part of any new routine you start... just sayin'-

A Sappy Post: The Old Tape

2011-12-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

While raiding the basement for Christmas decorations, my boys came across a tote full of old VHS tapes. They were put into storage years ago when DVD's dominated our collection and space in the entertainment center was too valuable to accommodate them any more. As they dug through the bin they found a number of old movies that have completely fallen out of my memory. Classics that I watched when I was their age, that I just never thought about to replace or even look for in another format. A lot of the 80's classics like the movie Explorers (featuring River Phoenix, and Ethan Hawk), my dads collection of Abbott and Costello movies, and piles of old home movies long forgotten.

After digging out the VCR, setting it up, and dusting off the tapes, we have since been slowly working our way through what was once a big part of my childhood. At first the kids mock the special effects, or the picture quality, but after a while it all melted from their focus as they began to see the films as I once did. The 80's had a new kind of influence through movies that other generations did not have. Being able to not just watch a movie at home, but see them anytime a person wanted was something only accessed by the wealthy before VHS. The old Super 8 home movies required more effort than a parent would trust to a kid, and for many reasons not nearly as commonplace as VHS became.

I remember when my dad brought home our first VHS machine. It was at the tail end of the great Beta-Max battle, and it had a remote control with a wire that could reach our coffee table. It was a magical machine that could improve our antenna signal, record TV shows, and let us see the movies we missed in the theaters (which was quite a few). By the time I became a teenager, our family had a VHS camera. All the holidays and family gatherings soon were garnished by three or four relatives recording the events by skulking about the trying to capture the special moment, or lined against the wall together recording duplicate copies of all the cousins opening their presents. Once recorded, the little tabs were broke off to protect the recording, they were put into their sleeves, and maybe watched twice since.

Much fancier than one we had, but it looked similar enough

There were several of those in that basement bin. After sorting through most of the tapes, I came across one with only a few dates printed on the label that I could not recall the importance of. So, I put the tape in. It was late, and the kids were asleep. It started as a birthday party, (I'm guessing the 6th) of my cousin Tim. The typical bad camera work, goofy poses of those realizing they are being taped, and then that ominous voice of the camera operator, seeming to come from nowhere. It was my late brother. He has been gone now for about 19 years. His voice caught me off guard, surprising how I have forgotten it. Now I realize his voice was almost a perfect match for Neal Patrick Harris'. The camera turned and their was my late Aunt, and then again my other late Aunt. Eventually the tape revealed a moment in time that had slipped out my conscience.

The TV went fuzzy and lines pushed each other across the screen. They ushered in the next recording. A brief clip my brother caught of me outside shooting hoops and looking ultra dorky. It faded again, and then to me driving in the driveway with my Prom date. Oh, on this I could write for pages, but in short, she was lovely, and my mullet looked extra awesome. My dad was working the camera, and he laughed as my mom fussed over lint on my tux. Some awkward moments of the parents and teen paradox, and it faded off too.

Without realizing it my body had gone from the curious posture I had to just quickly see what was on the tape, to a slumped and almost sad melted version of myself. It takes a hell of a nose hair pulling, or severe trauma to bring a tear to my eye, but I will admit... I was very close. Not just the memories that poured back into my head, but the detail of them. Even the smells seemed to be laced into the details that were stored somewhere in my mind. Events forgotten, but not lost.

I sat there watching static for a while. Not really collecting myself so much as I was just wandering through the scattered thoughts. The old magic machine had not lost its touch.

Now I cannot wait to show the kids the tape of my brother and I at the Star Trek "make your own movie" attraction from Universal Studios. Now, the bad acting in that one may make me cry.

Give Credit to Christmas

2011-11-30T11:00:00.000-08:00

Oh my! Today is Wallet Wednesday... the only shopping day of the Christmas season that you may not need to take out your wallet for some special deal on something you really never wanted or needed before you noticed the deal. Why is there no need to take out your wallet? simple, because in the last few days of fighting grandma at the mall for that half priced LCD toaster Blue ray player, or browsing Cyber Monday deals thankfully at home so your bruises can heal from the Black Friday experience (soon to be a Six Flags ride), some clever individual managed to nab some info and swiped your identity. So while you are finally relaxed and not shopping, you still actually are. Or at least your credit is.

It is a sad fact that these times of such modern conveniences have to come with the same old price of paying the common thief. Not that we want to, or that there is some fine print in the user agreement of life that says they have to be payed for whatever service they do; but they are unavoidable. My one wish is that there was some sort of deterrent that could stick, that the criminals couldn't sue us for not being fair or causing harm, and would permanently eliminate thieving as a career. My first though is that police should give a badge to that sweet old lady that bit me last Friday over a pair of gloves at Walmart. She surely was aggressive enough to handle the job. My second thought was that we all have to learn how to be smarter than the criminal. Well, at least use tools that can outsmart the criminal.

There are several sites and services now available to get identity monitoring and protection. Since I am not sponsored by any, there is no reason to name names. The fact remains that it is becoming more necessary to have these services in order to retain a functional being. The alternative is to renounce all electronic activity, credit, cards, or nearly any form of banking. Then again even the Amish are getting their identities stolen now.

Using caution is not enough, you have to monitor your activity and any that may not be yours. So in the name of protecting more than your wallet, your credit, or even your good name, use care when shopping all the shopping days of Christmas. Oh, and keep your eye out for that LCD toaster blue ray player...I could use a replacement for the one currently in the bathroom.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T10:09:00.001-08:00

It is on this day that we forget that it is about more than just a a big dinner. Thanksgiving is not just the the day to fuel up for a grueling day of shopping on Black Friday. We forget what this day means to our history, to our culture and moreover the lessons we learned that made this a day to celebrate.

The politically correct would have us believe that Thanksgiving was not a feast that the pilgrims shared with their neighboring natives. Jokes are made, irony is sited, and history is distorted. Rather than writing an entire recap of the event, someone has already put into words-far more eloquently, the story of Thanksgiving. It fits the recent events we are experiencing in the political realm and in parks across the country. [Link]

On a more serious note let us not forget with all the wonderful food that is traditional and delicious, it is important that we do not forget to add plenty of bacon and real butter. The double B always makes everything better. The baconized bird, bacon and yams, green bean and bacon casserole, buttery bacon biscuits, and the ever delicious pumpkin-bacon pie. Adding half a stick of butter to the whipped cream just makes it that much more special.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, and enjoy a day filled with the best food and family.

Healthnut

2011-11-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

For those of you that do not know, I am a serious health nut. Not that I eat healthy, or lead any part of a healthy lifestyle, but I really enjoy looking at the end results of those that do. You can call me an advocate for exercise, fiber, low calorie, high metabolism, feel the burn kind of people. Why? because those that stick to the rigors of healthy living generally look good. Really good.

Personally, I try to keep to such healthy lofty goals in an effort to be healthier. I have purchased such things as Kashi high fiber cereal to replace my Cocoa Pebbles. For exercise, I bought a Total Gym, a Shake Weight, and a "muscle confusion" video to sculpt the raw soft clay of my body into a marble solid physique. I have taken out my bikes for long calorie burning rides. Hell, I have even stopped wrapping my Hostess treats in bacon.

Unfortunately reality is not always what infomercials and gym membership sales guys say it is. Getting into "How hot am I" shape is a total lifestyle change that shocks the system in horrible ways that nobody tells you about. I have compiled five of the lessons I have learned below.

Eating 4 big bowls of that high fiber cereal like you would the Cocoa Pebbles will make you cry in the bathroom like a girl for over an hour. Really, it is only comparable to swallowing steel wool laced with laxatives. No warning on the box will tell you this.
Watching movies like Rocky to motivate yourself is great if you immediately use the rush to work out rather than go online and play Call of Duty and kick butt. Even though "pumping" your adrenaline in this way works for both, it is much too easy to just stay on the couch.
Workout supplements should be used under professional guidance. Those big tubs of Creatine muscle builder only works if your mostly buff already, otherwise they just make you more fat.
Electrified abdominal belts were once used by Bruce Lee. I doubt however that when he used it that there was such a distinct smell of bacon coming from it. And no, I didn't think of using it to cook bacon until after I discovered the smell.
Excercise programs that you can buy on late night TV deliver exactly what they say. My muscles are still confused, and my family is confused as to why I am unable to move.
The Shake Weight is not what I thought it was, it does not mean drinking a shake as an exercise. Instead of being a tool to improve general fitness, it seems more like a trainer for the tool. Ladies, please ignore the previous statement... it looks like a great idea.

The need for me to just simply commit to something physical is becoming obvious to my pants. They remind me daily that those extra helpings at dinner, and my extended time surfing the net or playing games on Facebook was a bad idea. This winter I have a plan to make all this right. First step, bigger pants. After that, a change in diet in general, not a total change to wood fiber. For exercise, my kids have agreed to work out with me to make it more fun and sociable. This also serves to motivate me to workout more to stay ahead of my kids as to maintain my authority through physical intimidation. My video game interaction will be limited to the Wii games that require me to stand or move around and my computer time will be more focused on productivity. It sounds boring sure, however it is one of those essential things everyone must either face or ignore and pay for later.

On that note, now that my fingers are properly stretched from typing, it is time to grab the controller and get a session of high impact world domination gaming done...

Weapons of Office Warfare

2011-11-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

Ever have a day at work that left you wanting to take sweet retribution onto your coworkers or boss to avenge the wasted time your day had cost you. Well, no need to go out to Gander mountain and load up. In fact there is a much better alternative that is less likely to end in your being fired, arrested or shot to death.

Two books available at Think Geek can help you make everyday things into a James Bond wet dream. If making near dangerous weaponized playing card decks is something you think may help your odds at getting a raise, these books offers you the knowledge to do so. Nothing tells the boss that your in charge better than a cotton swab .38 special. If you want to show dominance over coworkers, deploy the mint tin catapult, or clothes pin catapult. Gone are the days when being good at your job was the factor that brings people to the top of the game, it really was never fair anyway. Level the playing field with converted office tools that they supply and turn things into your favor.

Of course, there is the small detail that if you do this, you are likely to end up in a "special" facility, or out on your backside. However this book can bring hours of enjoyment at the least to like minded coworkers looking to kill some time between boring meetings.

ThinkGeek offers only one part of a larger tool set to turn cubicle warfare to a new level. If ever you are faced with a violent corporate takeover, OfficeGuns shows ways to bring the takeover to a bloody end. Using binder clips, paper clips, pencils, rubber bands, rulers, and tacks among a few, these are the more serious office weapons. If you master the device pictured you could cause serious annoyance with deadly accurate soda can assaults. If your aim is not, well, you may take someones eye out.

If this turns out to be just what you wanted for on the job distraction from being productive, Instructables has numerous such devices that can be built from the top drawer fodder of your desk. Check out the booby trap below and (here) for advanced methods of secret agent office action.

It is not recommended to give these ideas
to school children or that weird loner guy
from accounting.

If any of this is your cup of tea there are endless resources for you to explore. On that note you should also seek help and some psychological treatment. Really, paper wads through a pen tube is one thing, but harpooning aluminum walled beverage containers, and tripwire activated thumb tack traps start sounding more like a last ditch effort in a Zombie apocalypse, not an office feud. That is why I am getting all this, in case of zombies of course. My $800 order from Office Max should arrive within the week, and I will try to post my own modified shoulder launched Sharpie marker bazooka. Yeah, that should leave a mark...

Happy Halloween: Making it Better

2011-10-31T14:42:00.000-07:00

We roll the pumpkins to the field for the deer to nibble, take down the cornstalk columns by the door, and the ghosts hanging from the trees go back to haunt their shoe boxes in the closet. The kids have taken their costumes apart and returned the pieces to "almost" where it all belongs. For us, Halloween is over. We have survived the season of horror but not without some differences of years past. Be warned, there are far scarier things than the costumes becoming popular at Halloween...

One scary trend is those parents that feel that they have to drive there kids door to door. You are a lazy idiot. This is not a reversed parade, park your car somewhere, and walk the entire time until you are done. Seriously, what is your selfish problem? If grandparents in wheelchairs, Veterans with canes, or toddlers can make the journey on foot so can you. You are just a hazard, a very lazy foolish one. No one really cares if you drive a 96' Ford Explorer, unless its a 78' Pinto with an elaborate costume.

The same goes for all those that feel they must bring their unruly dog. What has crossed your mind? The occasional wiener dog in a hot dog costume is fine, so long as they are not crapping all over the sidewalk for kids to stomp in with paper thin costume booties. I just do not understand what makes you think you need to bring your Pitbull or Rottweiler to a child packed street laced with homeowners pets that only get set off by a strange dog at the door. Use common sense, if you have any. If you don't, ask your local cop if they think it is a good idea. I'm guessing no. While there are some absolutely amazing and cute dog costumes, you had better be absolutely positive your dog can stay calm in the street if you do decide to tow them along. Oh, you better bring your doodie bag, because that is a not a treat for anybody, ever. Find a venue that better suits pets, because it isn't trick or treating.

The stores this year had the typical plastic and napkin like costumes for sale in the latest licensed characters. Prices seemed a little farther up the scale than previous years, at least from what I had seen, and my kids even noticed and commented on doing something different this year. So my kids made the majority of their costumes second hand. In fact a wig was all we bought to finish them off. An orange deer hunting overall with numbers printed on them was my sons "Prisoner" costume. My other son used some real Army fatigues to be a soldier, my youngest daughter wore some recycled 3D theater glasses and some mixed wardrobe to be a hipster, while my eldest daughter spent a day pinning a cut up old sheet into a wrap, donned a blue wig, some creative make up, and went as Lady Gaga. The overall cost this year for us was under $10.

Since my kids would not let me go without hiding my ordinary old dad average look, at the last minute I assembled a costume from a classic raincoat, an old hat, and my camera. Since I was escorting Lady Gaga, I was recognized as Paparazzi. It also had a tinge of the old detective look to it, put a notepad, and the camera finished it off well. Not award winning stuff here, but the kids learned how much fun it is to do more than rip open a thin film bag and get dressed in kindling. Halloween used to always be more of a creative holiday than merely commercial.

I mention this, because we were not alone or part of the few that usually make their own costumes this year. When we were out Trick or Treating this year we came across very few complete store bought costumes. There were only two Captain America's, and we spotted one packaged Thor, although we did see a fabulous homemade Thor. Whether it is pure economics or just people seeing excess and taking another route, it certainly made for a better Halloween. Kids showed more pride in what they wore, and from my previous years memory, even seemed to behave better.

Wishing you all a happy Halloween, and a great finale to October. Stay safe, fatten up on candy, and have fun!

The Medicine Show: Drug Pushers of Yesteryear

2011-10-27T09:12:00.000-07:00

In the old days life was hard. Really hard. There were no apps, no search engines, the cell service sucked, and there were no restrictions on many of the drugs that are illegal now. Wait...What?...

Yup, they were prominently advertised in newspapers, posters, and magazines in their time. Instead of going to some shady degenerate in an alley, there would be a wagon or caravan of them set up in the center of town to hawk the latest and greatest drug incarnations. Just picture the bathroom of a rave club, then put it in front of your towns courthouse.

mmm mmm good, nothing beats the flavor of cocaine. Was this (the top of picture) used to make some nightmare inducing dreams from laced Christmas cookies? Or maybe just to spice up some tea. Have dandruff? Nothing cures that like hair dressing made with cocaine (bottom of picture). In fact it not only takes care of the flakes on your scalp, but gives you a feeling of an army of crawling critters in your hair patrolling for any dandruff that may reappear. Solved scalp irritation but not friend irritation. It also notes hair growth benefits, but that can be attributed to being able to feel your hair grow while using it.

Maltine Manufacturing Company out of New York suggested taking a full glass with every meal, and children only half of a glass. As you can tell it won 10 Gold medals. Obviously not for aiding bedtime management.

Tired? Can't concentrate? Obviously the answer is a glass of wine. Not just any wine, but a glass of Metcalf's Coca Wine. Cured depression and unlike straight alcohol, only required one glass without leaving you bummed out and groggy. Certainly a cure for fatigue, but may cause wide eyes, and endless one sided conversations.

The most famous Coca Wine in its day was Mariani Wine (1875). Pope Leo XIII was never without it, and he even gave the winemaker, Angelo Mariani, the Vatican gold medal. To keep that in a more modern context, that would be like Pope Benedict XIV drinking Jägerbombs. I have no doubt he was one of the most active and inexhaustible Popes in the line.

With great pride the C.F. Boehringer & Soehne of Mannheim, Germany, were the biggest producers of Quinine and Cocaine. So much so that they advertised it on paperweights. But leave it to the Canadians to ruin that by making it into boring bottled bitter water with the only notable reaction being a lack in social acceptance and un-kissable cotton mouth.

Have Asthma? That must suck, and since Speed is the ancient Chinese cure for it (ephedrine) it seems like that must be the obvious drug that binds the remedy to this post. Nope. In the more recent old days, asthma must have been horrifically bad. This vaporizer solution was almost half alcohol, and 3 grams of opium. If the asthma was still there after sucking this in you really didn't give a crap. In fact it likely left you laying on the floor snorting whole dust bunnies. At least with Ephedrine you could lose weight and get a lot done. Like cleaning those dust bunnies up. If those cant help you out, try a Dr. Batty Asthma Cigarette. (not recommended for children under 6)

Morphine is just a terrible and addictive medicine that even in it's early days was recognized as dangerous for addiction. The alternative is to crack a bottle of Bayer's Heroin. From 1890 to 1910 it was sold as a better alternative to morphine, and a great treatment for children with bad coughs. Not that it cured the cough, but the kids certainly didn't really care much about their throats after being dosed with this.

Breast feeding? Well you need your nutrition better than anyone, have a glass of malt beer a la Malt Nutrine. A meal in a glass, and junior stays really calm after feeding. Also touted for promoting appetite and helping digestion.

Today we like our Mentos or Tic-Tacs. Back in the day, before the invention of such less obvious binding agents as sugar came to anyone's mind, they used cocaine. In 1900 these little tablets were all the rage with teachers, singers, actors, and preachers to insure a better performance. Who said the 60's were the trippy era in American history.

Allenbury's Throat Pastilles were the menthol cocaine lozenge used for much the same purpose as the previous tablets, and by many of the same types of people. It was so healthy it had formaldehyde and borax to keep it pure and clean. I suppose it was more acceptable than the ones being pushed by yodeling sheep herders.

Little Bobby have a toothache? No Orajel for you, have some cocaine drops. A real pain reliever that would bring a child back from sore and grumpy to "huh? lets PARTY!!!" On the positive side, kids in 1885 that were medicated in this manner did 30 times more chores than un-medicated children, required little sleep, and ate almost nothing.

For newborns with trouble sleeping there was no need to spend half the night cuddling, feeding, or soothing a baby with love. A few drops of opium (5 for five days old, 8 for two weeks old, 25 for five year old children, and for adults, a whole teaspoon) is sure to keep everyone well rested. oh, and it was also half alcohol. Any more than the recommended dosage would find you licking the label and trying to guess the vintage of the glue holding it to the bottle.

Of course for those times of leisure, when all is healthy and good, why not treat yourself to a bottle of Coca Cola. From 1885 to 1929 coca-cola had coca (cocaine) in its syrup recipe. Although the amount grew smaller over time and eventually was replaced by our friend caffeine, it was staunchly defended by its makers as having positive health benefits.

In another 100 years someone will be posting something strangely similar to this with pictures of Acai berries, Red-bull, and any food or drink that we color yellow or red. MSG will be contraband and only available if you know a guy near Chinatown, and sugar will be a prescription drug. God help the Twinkie.

A bottle of Google Plus, 2011 please.

2011-10-24T17:44:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting in the dark, with only the glow from my laptop keeping me company. A freshly opened bottle of Bordeaux, and my favorite version of Ave Maria (from the "Hitman" soundtrack) playing to sooth my mind from the traffic it has endured the past few days. The wine was inexpensive when I bought it a few years ago, only $9, and when checking to see if it was mature enough yet to open I discovered its value had moved to almost $60.

Not a bad investment, and now is it's peak to enjoy. Although, I rarely agree with the experts about good wine, and tend to prefer the ones that they taste and just shrug at. Not so bad to cause them to vomit, but not worth a second sip. Maybe that's my tastes, a tad bland is exciting enough. In my defense though I have had very expensive, highly revered wines that almost made me vomit. I suppose that having such refined taste buds means you can discern notes of currant, pepper, and citrus, but do not notice the overwhelming taste of ass.

Now the music has moved into a White Stripes series. I'm reminded as to why I opened my blog editor other than to ramble, oh, Google plus. Yes, lately I have been spending more time on the G+ rather than Facebooking. Not that all of my friends have migrated over, or even more than a handful, but I have stumbled into a good use of the platform besides telling people how irregular I've been. I'm not sure how, but I circled an author (friend of a friends friend) that posted something interesting. From there, the suggested adds began to take a slow focus. With each interesting author that I circled from shared posts, the suggestions turned into a community of writers. My feed from this "Writing Circle" has been fun to follow, read, and learn from. Topics that never occurred to me, issues I never knew, solutions I never would have tried. Books that I would never have read are listed every few posts by the very author promoting their work.

It occurred to me that Google + was not just a social site like Facebook, but a place where groups, professions, and like minded people can find each other and collaborate on things. Rather than signing up to any of a thousand forums or websites that are designed to sell something or do something else, G+ can be a less cluttered way to access this resource without leaving the same platform used to communicate to any other community or social group one may have.

Whether it is to expand on my knowledge and interaction with wine enthusiasts to learn why my tastes are so apparently wrong, to keep up with friends (as they migrate over), or to keep up with any interest, it is collected together in one interface. The concept may not have been designed for this reason, but it certainly leaves an opportunity for this use. As others discover it G+ may find itself a venue for more than it was imagined to be.

Ironically, as I am writing this an author in my G+ posted an article on the very subject, or close enough. You could chalk that up to evidence of the principle I am outlining here. An illustration of the flexibility that G+ will bring, as not only a social network, but a more vast interaction on all levels. It also means reducing the amount of "things" that I will have to check, like my reader, stumbles, and various other communities that will eventually form on G+ as time goes by. Networks like Facebook, Linked in, twitter, and whatever else is out there, will serve as specific for the purpose type networks. Google + will incorporate aspects of them all.

Much like the differences in wine, Google + is the $10-$20 bottle of "good for any occasion" take-it to a gathering wine. Facebook would be the bottle of playful or sweet wine you take to the beach with friends, and Linked-in would be a more expensive vintage you would give to a boss when invited over for a dinner party. Of course there are those other social networks to fill in the other parts of the wine analogy, you can use your imagination, but for just a few last examples... Mad-dog 20-20 for SingleFling, and Boones farm for Flirtomatic. They may be dating sites, but they interact like social networks with a more specific purpose...

So I am told.

Daily Caffeine Survival Guide

2011-10-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

Since busy has been the status popular of the week for me, it was difficult getting around to throwing another post up, my apologies. However I have filled up some note space with some interesting things and while I have a moment let me share. The theme is one that was fitting for such a busy week. Caffeine. My personal daily caffeine survival guide...Enjoy after the break.

Morning Lather

Getting up and working through the morning routine sucks for everybody. If your one of the few that have their eyes pop open, then bound about like some hyper 5 year old, bite me. For the rest of us, here is something that may add some spring to your step. Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap. Check it out over at Think Geek.

Vegetable-based glycerin soap with caffeine

Smells like delicious peppermint

Wake up before you've had your first cup of coffee

It is a supplement to the morning standard of coffee, not a replacement. Coffee is likely to hold the crown forever as the morning kick start and ritual drink. For its simplicity, common availability, and general social acceptance. It is available in more forms than chocolate, and even with chocolate (another caffeine carrier noted later).

Mid Morning Refresher

Once the soap wears off, and lunch is still too far away to be helpful, why not go out for a few puffs. What! you mean go smoke? Not really, Surge Stix are not a cigarette, but an inhaler of sorts. You do not light them. Actually think of a glow stick. To activate, just bend until it cracks inside, then wait for the caffeine solution to mix into the filter and react. Once the process starts, it vaporizes the caffeine into an inhaler-like delivery. In fact this is a better alternative to those that are quitting smoking. Instead of being tired cranky and irritable, you can be a hyper psycho bad ass. Sweeet.

Check them out over at Think Geek.

Lunch and Afternoon Perk

By Lunchtime, like heroine addicts, caffeine junkies push through their canned favorites or coffee house jumpers. From Red Bull to Latte. This is also practiced mid-afternoon or as an alternative to the lunch dosing. This is generally the time that a caffeine junky will have shakes, and begin to look crazy eyed. Nothing special to recommend for this time frame other than the staples in the picture or Coffee like substances.

Only drink more than one
if delivered like this

Since there is more kinds of energy drinks than there are types of bacteria, it should be no problem finding one that you like. There are some that taste super vitaminish. Since most of them are made up of overdose quantities of things like B12 and taurine, limit to just a few a day. Not that I am a good example of moderation in this category, but do as I say not as I do.

Evening Rush

For the evening, a good wholesome dinner and some shock start chocolate for a desert. Nothing is better than chocolate, a natural caffeine carrier, for a quick fix. There are some chocolate treats that can be used during the day as well. Penguin Mints come in cute little tins and each mint has 7mg of caffeine. You can get some at Chemical Evolution.

Caution, She can be addictive.

Once the evening comes it is our modern lifestyle that keeps us pushed later than we really should. To keep us moving along in the later hours, there is a myriad of options for juicing caffeine into alcohol to fight off the drowsies of a day filled with fighting being tired. This is one area I have to start wondering if it has gone too far. Mixing alcohol with caffeine is the equivalent of mixing Ephedrine with NyQuil. Imagine taking your heart and hooking it to jumper cables. Not really a good mix. Either way, if you want to do it their are lots of energy mixers out their to choose from.

Dont get me wrong, I am a caffeine lover, and enjoy my daily jump starts, but a full day of injections is something that can get dangerous. Keep it realistic by picking your battles, and above all getting some real sleep.

From what I remember of sleep it was nice and restful....I miss that.

An Evening in Chicago

2011-10-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

What a great weekend. My significant other managed to get tickets to the Blue October concert at the House of Blues. I am not a City dweller, so the opportunity to go forth and venture into the unknown was a welcome one.

The ride down was interesting in its own right as we were passed early on by a band of crotch rocket riders. When we neared our downtown exit, there were two lanes blocked off by emergency vehicles. As we approached the would be accident from the far lane, we first noticed a shoe in our lane. Then some fiberglass parts, and as we crept nearly a 100 yards to the "scene", there were the bikers parked and talking the cops. I'm not sure what really happened, there is no news story I can find that covers it, but it must have been bad to knock someones shoes off and end over 100 yards away.

Once we arrived, we parked, and walked our way over to the House Of Blues. It was packed, and as I later heard from regulars of the establishment, they overbook every event they can. There was no room anywhere to even stand, and if there was a space it was rudely guarded by staff as some sort of no stand zone. Eventually we lucked out when we were told to keep the ramp to the main floor clear, the staffer told us we could be the end cap to the ramp so long as we warned anyone else that tried to linger there to move along. We did, but no one listened.

The first act, some girl on a keyboard, and not really all that notable. An odd choice for an opening act to a band like Blue October, she was rather off key at times, and not really the right style for the crowd. The second opening act though was a different matter. The band, two guys, a drummer, and the lead, who sang and played the guitar, called I Am Dynamite. Good name, and fitting. After the walk out to the stage, the second they started playing, it was a blast. Non stop Anthem pounding procession of energy flowed off these two to make them sound more like a larger member band. Big sound, good vocals, and an incredible performance. The crowd was electric during their set. I am not alone either with surprise and awe from this band. Many conversations passing by our cherry spot by the ramp were positive and impressed.

Then came the main show, Blue October. If your not familiar, they are the band that produced Hate Me, and Into The Ocean among a few. A very solid performance. Few bands sound the same live as they do recorded, and these guys are accurate as hell. There was maybe 15 feet to reach the bar from where we were by the ramp, and another 15 to the corner of the stage from our spot. As you can see by the pic, he (Justin Furstenfeld) was at center stage, but when he broke to our side, he was within spittin distance. Justin spent a lot of time on our side of the stage, and he has a very personal presence up there. Many of the songs had him moving about the stage, and he was very good at making the audience feel connected to the performance.

The new songs that they played from their new album were a bit different than some of their previous work. Not bad, just different. Titled "Any Man in America", the main theme relates to a custody issues, and father's rights in divorce. Personally I can relate to the topic about courts playing favorite to the mother despite best for child circumstances, so some of the songs hit a cord. They also played a few of the hit songs that made them known, and ended with a happy Birthday tribute to Justin's brother (the Drummer) Jeremy Furstenfeld. A real treat to see, and fantastic show overall.

Afterwards, we walked around for a few blocks, watched the clubbers trying to cut in line, taxis running people down, and bumped into a few interesting bike related things that I will post over on the Ant Mill here. Half way through the show, my phone died, so pictures were provided by my lovely date. She captured this one of the Courthouse Place from the parking garage on our way out.

Thank you Chicago for a great evening, we may just come back again some time.

Unabridged Beaver

2011-10-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Truth is always stranger than fiction.

North Beaver Township Pennsylvania.

Authorities in Pennsylvania have stated that thieves have stolen a 50 by 20 foot steel trestle bridge in the Township of North Beaver. It is estimated that the thieves started sometime from September 27th to dismantle the bridge with cutting torches. The bridge was made of corrugated steel, web decking and I-beams. The bridge was valued at 100k.

Assumed that the bridge was stolen for its scrap metal, police will no doubt be baffled for some time. Unless the thieves show up at a nearby steel recycling yard with a truck full o' bridge, it will be difficult to trace pieces of steel in the steel capitol of the U.S. The bridge was owned by New Castle Development Company and any one with information about someone suddenly having a mountain of steel bridge in their yard is to call the PA State police.

A new bridge for "coverts crossing" is likely the reason for less attention or care about the remains of the old bridge. Not to mention that it leads to a place called North Beaver. Way too many jokes can be made from that name alone, so I will leave them for others to capitalize on.

This does lead me to wonder about possible conspiracy theories.

The President has been visiting bridges to showcase infrastructure problems and to try and promote his jobs bill with the idea that fixing unused bridges, or bridges that are already scheduled and budgeted for repair, will add jobs by putting huge piles of money by the word JOB. The theory here is that this bridge fit the description of a failing bridge but was not in a good photo op location so it was moved by secret government agents to a nicer location near better golfing facilities.

A large steel structure in a rural area, hidden from the focus of the modern world... It's a friggin transformer! My 10 year old has made me watch these movies, and somehow everything throughout history is somehow a transformer in sleep mode waiting for its call to action. Seriously, watch the movies. More than just convenient, its damn scary that it is more likely to be Decepticon. This bridge wasn't stolen, it turned into a giant robot and it walked away!

The last theory is that the bridge is still there but has been made invisible by local harry potter fans. It was an experiment in spell casting using excerpts from the books of Potter, but beginner wand wigglers managed to cloak it without having a clue how to uncloak it. While waiting for a senior wand wagger to arrive from England, the missing bridge was noticed by passers by and reported. If this is true, it will likely reappear once no one is looking at it long enough to see a 30 something portly English nerd waving a stick at the crossing.

The strange thing is that n one noticed this disappear. No one questioned truckloads of steel beams coming out of nowhere middle of the woods nothingness. Have people really become that narrow focused to miss this? yup.

Hipster Apocalypse

2011-10-05T20:11:00.000-07:00

Yes hipsters, your time is due. Not just your scruffy, dirty styles, your outdated "progressive" socialist views, or your self divined smarter than you posture, but the patience you have drawn from the society around you is over. The telling signs are written before us in a not so ironic vintage Che dictator t-shirt. Soon the brothers Gibb can have there look back, and skinny jeans can return to the preteen misses section.

The benefits you have brought to society are secure and we no longer need any other contributions that you want to bring. You have given us beard lice awareness, an expansive flannel pattern selection, and social expression STD's. . Congesting our coffee shops, or sticking to brick walls for photo ops.

Hipsters, you have brought to light all of the things in politics that we forgot why we stopped wanting to pursue. Other than foaming coffee or organizing for chaos, no one is sure what any of you actually do. This is likely the reason why in politics you enjoy government money for art and "intellectual" pursuit. This pays for your discussions on "misunderstood" dictators at Starbucks on those late Thursday nights. Your Euro cousins no longer understand you, nor do they care about your self imposed oppression while they deal with the foul aftermath of the very ideals you have adopted and brought home.

They have ruined many things that would or could be useful or good in society by coating it with their idealistic grime. Fashion will suffer for generations having to withhold wrap scarves, trim fit sport coats, and many of the styles that slipped out of fashion for the moment and landed in goodwill, the hipster closet. Picking random things with intellectual ties and combining them to increase smartness cred, only to look like histories used toilet paper to the rest of us.

Terrorism, is hipster chic?

Tainting irony with a sad hipster taste, only preserved in part by the Emo, or social snarkers. Hipsters are why a 13 year old can say douche-bag with the full power of insult, and not know what douching is. Hipsters define what happens when a generation is given so much with so little effort on their own behalf. Pride in being thrifty masked in hatred for the mainstream that supports their thrifty choices.

Most importantly, do not change and try to blend in with society. We want to know you when we see you. Just get on a boat and float over to Cuba or Venezuela or wherever your utopia awaits, the coffee is fresher, and fair trade for weed.

Calendar of Doom

2011-10-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

Microsoft's Outlook 1050 BC Edition

If you are a believer in the mysteries of the ancient Mayan calendar, with the coming end in 2012, I have some magic sand I would like to sell you. Sure the Mayan culture produced some fascinating things, unique architecture, cool stone drawings, and even some good astronomy notes on rocks, but does that mean that their calendar is the harbinger of our doom? Nope.

Why can I be so positive that the prophecy of the last day written on an ancient calendar is not humanities true last day? Simple, let me share some common sense with you.

Mayan Temple? or first stair master?

Allow me to first give some credit to the mayans for their acheivment. The civilization, its building marvels, and advances in science were amazing. This is not to say that a primitive culture was immune to its place in time and hence its naive interpretation of what it discovered. It is still far better than some of the things modern science has done. I digress, is it the Mayan's naive view of things, or our naive understanding of what the Mayan's did.

First of all, the Mayans had to be masters of math to create their legacy. The calendars and astrology are not creative outcomes of simple curiosity, nor are they fancy stamps made for primitive scrap booking parties. So in such a case, advanced math is a technology. No, this does mean that Mayans invented the first computer, filled the innards of their pyramid with servers, or had thin little laptops with a glowing lime on the lid for all of the Mayan priests. This only means they had to have a larger grasp of advanced calculations above drawing marks in the sand or counting on their fingers.

Cartoonists say it better.

The calendars reflect knowledgeable application. It is one thing to have a few guys that can look to the stars and map the passing of time, but it is another thing entirely to be able to make a physical representation of that passage into an easy to follow format. A clock is the most easy to translate and learn format to reflect time, and that was formed from the example of astronomy and all its orbiting things (arc of sun=sundial). The Mayan calendar shows they figured that out, only gave it a longer reach than a 24 hour clock.
That brings me to my first point. It is also the point of many a cartoonist and some other naysayers like me. If we look at a clock with the same perspective, at midnight (or noon), the world will end, because the clock has reached its last point in its design.

Official looking Map

We do not fear the end of the earth every day at midnight. We understand that it is a cycle, or repeating event. The Mayans understood this to. In fact they broke up their calendar into ages and jammed some ancient past ages in for good measure. This shows that they understood, or at least acknowledged how planetary cycles effect silly little humans. Think of the solar system as a big clock. When things follow an orbit pattern such as our solar system, variables arise that create events we can see. The moon is a better example. It causes the tide to rise and fall. Imagine then what the other bodies in space do when they are closer at times or farther. Science is only beginning to understand the relationships to this and our weather patterns, earthquakes, and the loss of bladder control in hamsters.

Mayan calendar was an
appointment book for
this Early Mayan Dentist.
Lots of DOOM on his schedule.

Simply put, the calendar reflects that the Mayans narrowed down the cycle of events positive and negative to them. A few of the believers in the dooms day foretold by the calendar state that the same calendar foretold the Mayan demise to the Spanish, and other major events in their history that we can verify had happened. Notice the trend? It was all stuff pertaining to the Mayans. Which does support the idea that it was a good record and predictor of cycles for that specific geographic place. Like El Niño. The same things did not happen world wide. Rather a massive storm that comes every 100 years in Mexico means an inch more rain in Canada and 2 extra weeks of summer compared to the 4 they already get. So an event or passing cycle on the Mayan calendar that is bad for the Mayans may have been good for someone else. I'm sure the Spanish didn't think the calendar's predictions were bad for them. That sucks some of the wind out of the end of the world idea.

It should also be noted that the calendar does not so much predict the end, as it does the end of a cycle, and the start of another age. What they meant by that who knows. It certainly can't be confused with a total human apocalypse. It may have been something as simple as poor farming conditions that would require moving to better pastures. From a perspective that is so far in the past it is hard to tell specifics.

I do however enjoy the interpretation of a few that indicate a connection to the ironic. Notice the timing? December 31, 2012. It lands itself right after the U.S. presidential election, and inaugural ceremonies. Of course this is subject to who wins, and what side of the fence you are on. I suppose in that lens, the Mayan calendar may be a near genius device unlike anything ever designed by man.

Everything

2011-09-19T09:00:00.000-07:00

When I was a boy, Star Wars was everything in my world. I slept, breathed, played, and lived Star Wars. I dreamed of a day when everything in the world could somehow be a part of that. As I grew up I began to realize that it wasn't likely that would happen. Wisdom grows as we do. The reality of the diversity of the world made even Star Wars melt into a niche. I was wrong. Everything is Star Wars. Here is the proof.

On a side note, all of these things have been added to my annual Christmas list catalog. For anyone interested in obtaining a copy to select a gift for me this year, send me a message and I will throw you a PDF copy. It is a large file though, at nearly 25 GB and growing. My address will be in the first chapter marked "Delivery and Gimme", not to be confused with chapter 34 "Giving of Yourself, and the Delivery: a how to for super models".

Yes, even Vader needs to turn to the Dark Roast in the morning

Yoda Christmas Tree topper, nothing says Yaaay! its the birthday of the lord! like Yoda on top the tree.

USB hubs with desktop style. m

A C3PO "like" butler statue. A shame it is only a statue.

A cell phone alert pendant. Interesting, the character inside lights and spins when you get calls. It would be a little cooler if there where two characters inside and they had a light saber battle. Only three characters available, Vader, stormtrooper, and Yoda (not pictured)

The ladies of Star Wars playing cards...really? Wow.

Light saber chop sticks. To battle the forces of take out everywhere.

Domo Chewy...Awesome

"This is gonna smell bad kid" Entrails and stink not included....bummer

The bear skin rug fantasy for Star Wars fans. Oh Yeah!!!!

Ahh, just add a glass of blue milk, and some Geonosian Honey.

Some Fun ol' Pics

2011-09-15T22:29:00.000-07:00

In this wild and crazy world, little makes any sense. When looking back it seems that it never has made much sense and it isnt just our modern times confusing us. Here is a look at some moments in the past that has us thinking...Wha? Huh?

Oh look, she even has some old electronic thingy too!

Kids were not as bad in my day....yeah...right

Just bear with it ladies, they will start the ride soon.

When you could get a toy gun in real colors, not neon.

Yes dear, if you learn how to blow this, the Sausage will rise...

All is fine until he hangs his head out and forgets he is driving.

It's a good thing too, this was before we learned that beer had as many calories as dinner.

Just a few pics I have come across lately that caused a smile. It made me think that no matter what is going on in the world, it isn't new. Styles change, technology changes, but for every problem we think we fix, we create two more to replace it.

Rant you to Death

2011-09-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

To follow up on a series of posts, stories, and news features, I am going to address a very touchy issue. Mortality. All Mortality

We are all going to die!!!! Yup, as soon as we are born, the process of death has begun. Actually, it goes as early as conception, not just birth, but we will just make broad statements for the simple minded to keep them focused.

Death is inevitable, for you, me and even Walt Disney. You can freeze yourself, preserve yourself, pickle, or mummify. Still dead. Nothing will alter everyone's endgame. The same goes for everything around us. Stuff will eventually pass on to it's next form too. Your car will rust, your i-pad will loose its gloss, and fade into dust. Nothing is safe from it.

This brings me to a statement that is riddled with ironic stupidity. If your a environmental recycling, gas avoiding, anti everything type, or not, let us get one fact straight. Save the Planet, is the most moronic stupid and idiotic concept ever conceived. WHAT! why would I say that? let us look closer at it shall we...

If we pollute, nuke, poison, or warm the planet with everything in our arsenal, the planet will remain. It is not the planet we are saving, but what is on it. Take away the atmosphere and what do you have? A planet just like many others in our solar system. Lets just change the slogan to be more aligned with fact.
Add to this irony that the very people who instigate this slogan are anti human. Al Gore has made no bones about his comments that humans are a problem and need to be removed for the natural environment to return to what it is meant to be. That came from a guy that sold Carbon offsets for profit to the guilty feeling, and used the money to fly an old jet around to sell more carbon offsets. Add evolution to the family of ideas, and you have more contradiction than I can count. If life on earth evolved, (that's natural), we evolved to the top of the chain (that's natural), species have died out as a part of natural selection (a part of evolution.), how are any of the events in modern history unnatural? If we are the bane of all creatures, if we screw up and wipe the earth clean, than it just starts over and whats the difference?

I'm all for clean water, clean dirt, and clean air. Who isn't? Sure there are a few bad apples, but rather than focusing on the real issue, everything is made into the issue and used as a game piece in a political war where power is the real goal. If you think a politician wants to take the environment as an issue to do anything but gain power, your the idiot. An example of this is the light bulb. New curly cue light bulbs are to be mandatory and the old ones banned. While more efficient in power consumption, it is less efficient to manufacture, more hazardous to dispose of, contains more toxic elements, and are less effective in their task. While we save a few watts of power over the life of the bulb, it expends more resources in its life and death than it saved. But it is now law in a politicians effort to show environmental awareness.
That is only one example of thousands. Bio fuels share similar analytic results overall, as do a number of regulations to conserve and protect. While meaning, and good looking on the front end, it ends up causing more damage over time than if left alone.
Forgive the more serious rant from my usual approach, but as it is with anyone, some things just have to be said to feel better. Even if nobody listens.
If you do want to improve your environment, start by getting a bike, or riding it. For every concerned person that drives a Prius is someone still burning more gas than someone who could care less riding their bike.

Now back to death in general. Very few people are aware at any given time that they will, and are going to die. That's ok. What fun would life be if we always worried about it right? That does not mean we need to live by completely ignoring it. That means being safe, not texting while driving, less selfish driving altogether, and just being less of a douche bag. Death tends to be a side effect of jerks and A-holes. Being aware of our mortality gives us perspective, appreciation, and a dose of reality that makes many people LIVE better. Those that ignore it are a hazard to those of us that do not. Fear of death is another thing. IT will happen, and no matter what you believe, you cannot escape it. Some religions offer something afterwards, life in another form or place, but your life here is done as you know it. Only thing you can do is enjoy it while it lasts and have some fun at your own expense.

Stuff, New and kinda cool.

2011-07-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

So I was doing some shopping online for a gift, and I stumbled upon some really weird crap. Some of it was actually pretty nifty, although not all is available yet or more than some jerks Photoshop project for a joke. But I want some! So here are a few of the things I found good or bad.

First, the samurai sword umbrella....AWESOME!!!!you could be packing the threat of sharp death on your back, and be ready for any rainstorm that comes. Great idea, but the only flaw is, what if a samurai finds you a threat and challenges you. Better have the Mary Poppins skills or your gonna look stupid.

Next, is the hide-a- bed Bunk bed. This is a good deal for dorm rooms, kids, or bachelors that want to really turn a chick off. With a simple flip up and a few movable bars, you have a bunk bed for sleepovers or if your college roommate decides not to pass out at his girlfriends. If your the bachelor, it would only take seconds to creep out your date with the simplicity of the design.

Then there is the USB Microwave. I have to say, this is stupid. A mini micro for your desk, that runs off your laptop's USB port. Why? so you can take it with you to the coffee shop after work and get kicked out for making a tiny popcorn? Or maybe so you load the carbs before that big meeting by making beans. Ya, that wouldn't be awkward when you have energy to share with the olfactory senses of your co workers. (see the Heinz Beanzwave at right) WTF! Nothing says give me a raise like Methane poisoning the boss. The one pictured above does not show much promise for digestion either.

This Tent made by Orange is a solar powered tent that can charge all of your gadgets from your everyday life, when you are trying to escape it. It also works via SMS message to work the lights from a camper, and you can locate it with gps if you get lost when you put your game boy down to pee. It can also track your power usage so you can trim your carbon footprint even though you are using solar power in a friggin' tent. There is likely a dumb ass living in one of these and feeling bad about how many nylon caterpillars died to make his tent possible.

Some things may be better left as a prototype and never placed on Walmart's shelf. At least our fine American drive to create things that are unique and inventive is not dead. Even though it may at times be like a zombie, its at least still animated. There are still glimmers of hope, and a samurai umbrella says we can still make it in the world today.

Don't poke the Piggy

2011-07-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

Wisconsin cows are wholesome...see

Anyone that is familiar with Wisconsin in some way will know that we are as populated with cows as we are people. Some of the witty folks from other states say that we are even difficult to distinguish one from another. I cannot argue against it in some cases, but it is a rather mean generalization.. My third nipple does not make it an udder.

Is this how they make them happy?

Surfer Cows. Not very Productive

California has been trying to take the crown of dairy from our temple, and is failing. The happy cows thing? really. So cows prefer weirdos and earthquakes? Not that Wisconsin doesn't have any, but not as many or of the same magnitude (Weirdos or earthquakes). I have not seen such a large advertising campaign devoted to convincing people that there sense of taste and palate have been lying because you didn't know how happy the cow was... Compare the cheese. The only way to describe the difference is to have a drink of water from a pure clean well, then drink city water from an old building. It leaves a funny after taste.

L.A. Cows causing gang issues.

California cows are fast become happy, but there is speculation that it is due to drug abuse and dandelion huffing. No BGH, but the good stuff that pro cyclists are using. That or they are getting too cozy with the wine country area and are now wine snobs. Way too many issues that taint the milk.

On to other things, I have a little red squirrel terrorizing my workshop. On a given day, I find him sitting atop a rafter throwing acorn shells at me. It seems to enjoy ripping the insulation out of the walls, and knocking tools off their pegs. My poor dog is nearly insane from the squirrels torments.. So I hired a special service, a team of renegade ex military on the run for a crime they did not commit. After a lot of shady contacts, meetings with a 4th grader behind the monkey bars, a boy scout to make an up front payment, and some international calls to disposable cell phones. They soon arrived and did the job.

The GI Joe Hit service. No small job is too big.

Nutsy Malone

Unfortunately this one was a member of the red squirrel mafia. His friends have come and trashed the shop as payback. A threatening letter was nailed to the door that they will target my bird feeders, and heat vents in my car. All I have left is to have the IRS look into their acorn supply and nail them for illegal trafficking and tax evasion. I know they are dealing to some of the local mice.

An assassin sent to take out my neighbor's cat.

Park Hopping

2011-06-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

Lately we (being the family proper) have been mostly mounted to the seats of our bikes. However, the day was rainy, drizzling, cloudy and icky, so our riding plans were put on hold. Instead I decided that we should try a road trip in the car. There are a great many things nearby that we just pass and wonder at. This was a trip to stop and look at those things.

We started out by driving over to the town of Montello, home of the Granite Falls, and a quaint little town in itself. After a brief family photo shoot by the falling water, we headed over to the next town, Princeton. This town is known for it's antiques. Every block holds at least three antique stores or malls. We visited some, ate lunch and visited some more. I found an old pipe tobacco tin that caught my fancy for a buck, two early sixties bicycle journal magazines, and passed on a few other far more costly things. It turns out the tin may be worth something. I found it for sale online marked at 80 buckaroos.

After our old time shopping the rain stayed at a misty drizzle, so we decided to check out some parks. The John Muir park, is a natural reserve dedicated to it's namesake that lived there at some point. We hiked the trails, soaked our socks through then decided to move on. Next was the French Creek Wildlife area. A pretty marsh and lake like, wetland river valley. Not sure which of these it is or which part is what, but the signs say all of those with no indications. It was nice none the less, and we saw an otter that was very camera shy. He kept popping up for air in different spots then disappearing before we could get a camera aimed at him.

My Daughter caught this picture...

And this wild creature too

Some sand hill cranes were also visiting the area and they brought the kids too. At first we didn't notice the little ones, but there they are off to the right of the parents feet.

Soon we made our way into Portage and hopped along a few "historic" parks and such. Following these nice little distractions, we stopped at walmart to get some batteries for the cameras, and started north to the Kingsley Bend Burial mounds. Im not sure what the point of visiting a site like this is. There is some ancient people buried under mounds of dirt (now covered with the same foliage as all the natural mounds around them) that are shaped roughly like some animals. These shapes however are only discernible from a height over a few hundred feet above. How that can be achieved in the minivan is beyond me. I used the opportunity to take some pics of mushrooms growing out of the rotten stumps of this naturally preserved area (presently clear cut-down to a few trees to restore the "naturalness").

After this I was beginning to get tired. With wet heavy shoes, a full day of plodding along hikes outdoors and in, It was nappy time. The drive home was easy and uneventful, so the transition to relax mode came easy. After a bit of uploading pics from the cameras, some mind numbing TV, then bed
Days like these are usually spent looking outside in disgust over a day wasted due to weather. Not this one. We reclaimed it from the clouds for our own purpose, something we will do more often.

-

Dust off the blog, the return to keystriking

2011-06-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

Hello again. To the few that are still paying attention to this blog, my apologies. It has been awhile. Many other things have been going on, and this was at the back of my "need to do" list. However, since returning some time ago with a few other venues and niche blogs, I thought this one should stay alive for an outlet as it was meant to be.

On my pages tabs, you may notice a new one with "the AntMill" on it. That is my new network of web content for a severely consuming hobby, restoring and riding old bikes. In the process of it's creation, and along with the expansion of the hobby, some new interests, and old ones, have risen to the top of my conscience. Besides bikes, hiking and photography are part of the fun with which is included. Sketching, and painting are also bubbling back into my veins, (although time is spare for them). This blog will again rise to be filled with accounts of hikes, photos, the occasional fancy food we make, or a sonnet or two of things hiding behind my forehead. So thank you for still being there, or joining in if you are new, and welcome to the my new network. Be sure to check out the new leaps and links to the other blogs, and the website.

Spring Cleaning

2010-03-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

As a part of spring cleaning, I have added to my to-do list, the computer. With the usual list of suspects around the house, windows, closets, carpets, dusting and the lot, the computer needs a similar list.

The most obvious thing to do is just purging old unused files. From programs that didn't work out (or work at all), to office documents that are outdated. Duplicate pictures, and old wallpapers that were awesome, but are now yesterdays cool, all need to be cleared. Much like the real closet, it is fun to look in the corners of the hard-drive and see what is hiding or has been forgotten. I have rediscovered a few old games, a few pictures that were lost (misfiled), and some old work projects that never witnessed the light of day.

Along with this, is the necessary cleaning of the cell phone. Myself, a Blackberry user, it is a lot like cleaning the computer. A few files, pics, and apps that do not belong anymore, or are already copied into permanent storage on the computer. It is Easy with a lot of memory to keep and accumulate data like a pack rat.

After only an hour, I have managed to open up almost 100 GB of space. Now if only it were this simple around the house. Ahhh, to point and click on screen, and actually rearrange the furniture, or delete a mess.

Another exercise to do in spring is to update online profiles, clean out unused ones, delete old accounts, and refresh active ones with new profile pictures, themes, or layouts. A good example of this is here on blogger. A series of new templates, themes, and layouts make for a seasonal refresh of what grew stale over the last year.

While doing this, the extra time at the keypad also has given to the need of cleaning up the desk. The build up of notices from the kids school, parts to things broken, unsorted pictures, old unfiled bills, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. Over winter It seems that things will be done later, well, spring is a good time to get to it, just before it gets too nice outside to do the indoor stuff.

So here I sit updating with the new features on blogger, sorting the junk drawer while waiting for page loads (dial-up, sucks). Oooh, that's an idea, maybe I'll check to see if anything faster for internet is going to be available here.

I'm sure like most people the to-do list is never ending, and with a significant other involved, it can only grow faster than can be completed.

Best of luck on yours, with this, I can cross off at least one more thing.

The ipad, a different perspective

2010-01-30T19:43:00.001-08:00

After the announcement of the iPad, I have viewed enumerable blogs, tech site reviews, and the Apple site itself to try to figure out Steve Job’s latest entry in the tech world. Along with so many people, I was at first disappointed with the plus sized iPod that was being passed off as something “new”.

let me digress. The I pad fits in the same as other apple products. Even those who call it the xl iPod (see above), miss the concept that the i-phone was an iPod with a phone. All of apples products tie together in similarity, but change the form factor for similar concepts with different application use. Without joining the masses in kicking this iPad around, I found myself interested in the up-sides to it.
Allow me to explain. I am not an Apple Fan-boy, I own a second generation Nano, and that is it. I love the format and clean function of iTunes, but hate the DRM and closed format that apple uses to make them a single, and only stage for those that use their stuff to play. I like the Macs and Mac books, but find them too expensive for all of the trouble in compatibility with the software and programs that I use. These things are not impossible to workaround, but annoying, more-so than the bugs and faults of Microsoft, (another issue). All this being said, and I will include the AT&T debate point here, (a service that is not only weak where I live, but almost non-existent), and apple products run a fringe line that I find interesting in concept, but do not use for the balance of benefits.
More insight into my use profile, my day to day needs have reverted from having a notebook to a desktop. I do have a blackberry, for the gaps lost from the laptop, but the majority of my functions happen at home at the desk. During my workday, I use the old fashioned pen and paper planner. Appointment schedules, notes, virtually everything is tidy and neat in my leather book. When I bought my laptop, my thoughts were that I could replace this paper system, but found it hard to do. First of all, when I am on the phone, and need to enter an appointment, I would have to set up the laptop, boot up, log in and wait for the program/calendar to load up. Compare that to pulling my planner out and just opening it to a bookmarked day page, and writing it in… The planner wins. The only advantage with the laptop was being able to play a game, check email, or surf the net. Those things my blackberry can do, with some exception the gaming. My blackberry cannot replace my planner mostly because of the size interface. It has a great calendar that syncs with my online and home calendars, but entering an appointment on the fly with any decent description on the small keyboard just isn’t enough.
Now I find myself as disappointed as everyone else with the iPad for all the things it could have had, or been. With all the things said and seen about it, the rumors were far better. Then I noticed something. It somehow managed to fit the exact hole in my needs that I couldn’t fill before. Where my phone is too small for data entry to be practical, the iPad is not. The laptop fell short in fitting lightly in my bag, or instant use, the iPad can. It is the same rough dimensions of my planner, has an excellent calendar, contacts, notepad, and document storage. Unlike my planner, I can sync it in seconds with my other calendars and email, where as my planner requires me to enter a second time later when I get home. It can play games, movies, surf the net, e-book, and anything that there is an “app” for. So it already has more features than my leather book can do.

The only factor though being a hurdle in my view is the cost. The entry iPad is to be at 500 bucks. My planner cost almost 80. However, every year it costs me another 40 to get a date refill, as well as the number of pens I burn through. (I am a pen junky, so I like the nice ones). Since even a leather planner only lasts me about 3 years, with the little pockets tearing, or that little seam that comes undone, my rough cost every four years is under 300. So is another 200 hundred worth my time in having to re enter my calendar stuff? This doesn’t include the apple must have accessories. I am sure I could rack up over a hundred bucks in those as well.
After all has been weighed, I find it just too much. It has my attention, and will keep me waiting for the second gen version, but not yet. I have another year left in my planner cover yet, and a small drawer full of lovely pens. My bag is ready for the upgrade, but patient enough to hold off until it can honorably carry something with real wow power.
I may yet get a mini net book, as I have heard that there are a few boasting near zero boot time. That may work for me. As long as they can keep the power cords and such to small form as apple does. (Kudos to apple on that aspect).
Just another view of the iPad, maybe, but this isn’t just a slash and bash or, worship the apple kind of thing. I would imagine this is the process many would use to assess need for a product, although from my own reading, it seems that if they would have added a belt clip, and the voice of Kitt, cool factor would sell it alone.