Willy Loman

Thank god for oil

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 20:59:00 +0000

It is not often that I, an old, long haired, bald headed, scruffy bearded, freaky person, gets to spend an hour and half in conversation with a past middle age, evangelical, harper-conservative, who, now struggling to adapt to his newly found and forced, entrepreneurially focussed future, one that in part was brought on by the very failure of the neoliberal economic policies that he and his faithfully worshipped party leader, continue to embrace and endorse, but as happens more often than not, due to my expertise in an obscure, financial management software, solution, I found myself riding shotgun on the way to the falls.

Bad drugs, fast cars, and mean people in Madoc

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 18:23:00 +0000

Seem to be having strange xmas memories this year. Might be the drugs. This over the counter stuff seems to have all sorts of side affects.

One such affected xmas memory involved selling greeting cards for the Rust Craft greeting card company. They gave me Eastern Ontario as a territory and a six month old,1972 Gran Torino, 2-door, hard top, as my company car.

The Torino had no ass end and probably the worst car you could choose for winter driving, along the eastern end of the 401, which was posted at 75 miles an hour in some stretches back then. Other than the time I tipped it in a snow bank outside of Napanee, it was awesome to drive.I listened to the Canada-Russia series in that car.

We are getting closer to the xmas part.

Rust Craft was basically a printing company that licensed artwork from Rust Craft UK and sold the resulting greeting cards to department stores and every mom and pop, general store, in every small, Canadian town, which is what my territory consisted of. These family run, hardware, variety, rural, general stores would carry four to twelve feet of xmas cards and the owner, usually the wife, wanted to select each card, from each of the categories, that would be the best cards for their store.

1972, being before the internet, cell phones, computers and the wide scale adaption of the fax machine, meant that you phoned ahead, booking anywhere up to four hours and showed up fifteen minutes early, lugging in wrap, bows and name tag samples and seven large binders of individual xmas and new year cards that the owner would go through.

Rust Craft had over forty years of artwork to choose from the Brits and had every general Merry Christmas, Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, Season Greetings. God Bless something, religious card you could think of, along with cards for every categorized variation of friend and family.

Baby's 1st, 2nd,3rd all the way up to 10th Christmas in both sexes, Daughter, Son, Stepdaughter, Stepson, Granddaughter, Grandson, God Daughter, God Son, Niece, Nephew, Mother, Father, Mom, Dad, Mommy, Daddy, My Parents, Our Parents, Grandmother, Grandfather, Grandma, Granddad, My Grandparents, Our Grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, Aunt and Uncle, Your first Christmas together, To Both of You, From Both of Us, To the Three of you. To All of You, From All of Us and my favourite which I considered the most thoughtless card ever made

The "To You Alone at Christmas" card.

Although none of my customers ordered the card, I always added one pack of six to each order, just to see if anyone would be mean enough to send one.

And the one time they ever sold was the xmas of 72 when 4 cards were sold in Madoc, Ontario.

There was at least one sick card customer in Madoc that year and hopefully not four suicides by card.

So if you are alone for xmas this year, ignore this card and visit bloggers on the internet and Happy Holidays.

To the victor comes the spoils

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 19:19:00 +0000

The victor is the American spirit. The spirit of a society that cheered the killing, harming and displacement of a million people in a country that they falsely and knowingly labelled as evil. A society that condones the continuing indiscriminateness of drone attacks on populated areas, killing hundreds of innocent women and children in its name.

A country where a kindergarden teacher owns an arsenal of automatic weapons.

Yes, the American spirit that planned for the new American century. The bring it on, we're number one, mission accomplished, you're doing a good job Brownie, God bless fucking America spirit was the victor yesterday. The USA, USA, USA, that issues carry permits in forty nine of fifty states was the victor yesterday.

The spoils were the lives of its innocent children.

If you were an alien that arrived from another planet or for that matter someone living in the middle east under the shadow of drones and you read the two stories about the attacks on school children, the one in Connecticut and the one in China, which society would you believe is more civilized?

Maybe the NRA is correct, guns and drones don't kill, the people do.

Links from CBC.ca

Harper's P. P. envy

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 19:48:00 +0000

Apparently Steve of all things Harper, has a Harper's Photo of the Day site, that was started January 2010.

President Obama's team started the White House Photo of the Day site on January 9, 2009 while he was still President elect.

Sadly, one of the worst cases of Presidential Photo envy, that I have witnessed.

Appearing more manly today

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Thu, 04 Oct 2012 04:38:00 +0000

Weathering forty five years of elementary, over exposure and the slippery slope fallacy of sweat drenched head bands being capable of preventing a saltine, reddening, outlook of life, I have accepted that I am bald.

Memories of a longer haired coiffure, offer little more than vague flashes backing up my fading recollections of a hipper time. No, I wear my baldness every day, and although it does not define me it is part of whom I am and after forty five years I have come to resent the daily jocular shavings of the follicular fraudsters and the abduction of baldness, beauty by the part time cancer crowd.

All of which might explain why today, I was pleasantly surprised to discover the results of a new study by Albert Mannes, PhD of The Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania.

Bald men appear stronger and more manly.

And some days an appearance is good enough.

h/t The Toronto Star.

Feminine discreet sensual my ass

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 04:00:00 +0000

Here is an interesting fact, FDS, was originally called Feminine Deodorant Spray, when it was introduced into Canada by the Alberto Culver company in 1970. This might not be one of the most commonly known facts or memorable dates for most Canadians, but it is something that I was reminded of today, when I read this humorous article about feminine hygiene, by Naomi McAuliffe, in the Guardian.

Naomi starts off with the Michigan politicians, who got banned for saying the word vagina, in an abortion debate and then goes on a rant about the now discontinued Linger vagina mints, the Smooth Groove camel toe camouflage pad and the FemFresh froofroo ad.

It is not that I am an expert on feminine hygiene or masculine hygiene, for that matter, if there is such a thing, but ever since the launch of FDS I do tend to pay more attention. Back in 1970 I was a 22 year old, assistant manager of a Miracle Mart Department Store in Dundas Ontario and ignoring the advice of my all female staff, I decided to go large on the launch of this new Health & Beauty category, feminine hygiene and bought two gross (that is 288 units for the metric crowd) of the new FDS.

Unfortunately, after two weeks we only sold two units, so I decided to promote the product by moving the remaining 286 units to an end cap at the front of the store facing the cash registers. Then to further entice our female customers to try the new product, I opened three packages and with masking tape marked them as testers.

Something I did not live down for my remaining two years in the Dundas store.

Confusing headlines

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 22:59:00 +0000

It turns out that the Toronto Star headline Rotting whale causes political stink is actually the title of a story about a rotting whale on a Nova Scotian beach and not an article about Harpers performance this week in Los Cabos Mexico.

Meanwhile here is a picture from Mexico of Obama making fun of Harper's dick size.

Harpers tar pit

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Wed, 20 Jun 2012 01:29:00 +0000

Is the title of a one page article describing Harpers Canada by author Andrew Nikiforuk, in the current AdBusters and my new name for Alberta.

Thank you Andrew.

Sharing the voices in my head with the women of the night

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 02:14:00 +0000

Have you ever noticed the rush of adrenalin through the veins in your arms and hands? It happens whenever you are getting ready to do something that requires an increased flow of blood. Although it is most often recognized when preparing for a major exertion of energy, such as lifting weights, playing a sport and of course as a precipitable to the fight or flight response to stressful situations, it happens all the time.

In my post heart attack, hypersensitive state, I have become continually aware of minuscule fluctuations of the epinephrine hormone being excreted through my veins. Where I once excelled at working within stress filled environments, in so far as I was often accused of creating stressful stimuli, just to test the mettle of my fellow workers, I now find myself withdrawing from any exchange that causes the smallest hormonal ripple.

This regressive tendency of my depressed psyche to constantly reduce tension is setting me upon a path of self annihilation where my compulsive flight from stress, has manifested itself into long periods of silence throughout the daylight hours, as I withdraw from daily social interaction, followed by broken sleeping patterns, where I spend the darkened hours watching the repetitive stream of HBO & Showtime reruns.

However all is not lost, my desire for self-preservation grows, as I become increasingly infatuated with my women of the night. I might not be as powerful as Peg Gallagher yet, but I’m getting there. See you tonight ladies.

Nothing mysterious about gods followers

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 16:58:00 +0000

This is a picture of Stephen Woodworth, the Harper conservative MP from Kitchener Ontario who instead of facing total humiliation with the rejection of his private member’s bill and ending his backdoor attempt to revisit the legality of abortion, is using his mother’s impending death as an excuse for not bringing his bill to parliament. His private member’s bill will now receive it’s second hour of debate in the fall which will of course provide the anti-abortion wing-nuts two more months in the sun, to spread their bullshit. I’m not sure if this makes him pro-death, but he certainly is a sleaze bag.

Picture of an idiot

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Thu, 07 Jun 2012 16:10:00 +0000

This is a picture of Larry Miller the Harper conservative MP from rural Ontario, who would like Canada to consider leaving the United Nations because of its criticism of the Harper government and he is an idiot.

Fat Ford favors feeding frenzy

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Mon, 28 May 2012 14:38:00 +0000

According to this CNET report on Rob Ford’s decision to remain obese...

the mayor felt increasing pressure from the public stemming from his promise to lose pounds, with more than a dozen photographers and cameramen hovering for each weigh-in.

Yeah seriously, you do not want publicity for a PR campaign that you even built a web site for.

The March estimates are in.

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Fri, 25 May 2012 22:10:00 +0000

And why is this man smiling.

March shortfall year over year increases by $2.85 billion

DND increases March spending 55.4% to 3.85 billion

and on the revenue side.

Personal income tax revenue increases 10.5%

Corporate tax revenue declines 8.4%

Oh yeah, that is why he is smiling.

A night of one liners

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Thu, 24 May 2012 22:55:00 +0000

The hardest part about getting back on line is actually giving a shit about what this government says or does at any moment in time. At night, reading my news feeds I sound like Randy Travis screaming I told you so, I told you so. Well the screaming part sounds more like Carrie Underwood, but you get the idea.

I am no young man, but take Tony Clement, for instance, no please somebody take him, because I can’t anymore. Deciding that the misappropriation of G8 security funds by Harper’s president of the Treasury Board is no longer a problem, (and think about that sentence for a minute), the PMO sent him out to an Alberta chamber of commerce meeting this week, to create one liner counter points to Mulclair’s excellent rant about the negative effects of our over priced petrodollar on our manufacturing and exporting sectors.

Of course the PMO through Tony claim that this was a reckless and irresponsible ideology and it is bad for Alberta, bad, for Ontario and bad for Canada.

To prove that point Tony then claimed to be able to name many communities in Ontario and Quebec whose manufacturing has been saved by the tar sands (Saved!. Hell even Alberta isn’t getting saved by the Tar Sands. Two years ago the province netted more in Lotto revenue than they did in oil subsidies.) Anyway Tony failed to name any of the communities.

Instead he went on to explain that Canada is an island of stability in global economic uncertainty and the Harper regime whose stewardship got us here is now planning to further cut the red tape and reduce all regulatory burden in approving new projects.

One project, one review.

And like every thing else with this regime there is nothing that we can do.

I met Tony Clement once and saved him from getting attacked. I controlled my self.

Classifying the unemployed

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Thu, 24 May 2012 18:26:00 +0000

Because we have do something, McDonalds is importing temporary workers and there are unemployed Canadians that could be flipping those burgers.

So to fix the problem, the Harper regime will reclassify the unemployed or so Kady reports from Diane Finley’s news conference this morning.

The new classifications set out the period of time that a claimant can refuse a job offer that pays less than they were making before and eventually I assume they will have to fill that job at McDonalds.
Read more »

You can call me Al

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Mon, 21 May 2012 23:22:00 +0000

Seriously, I usually revel in my depressions and what would you expect from someone who names their blog after an old suicidal salesman. However, the way things have been stacking up this year, the first of my golden years of forced retirement, I should rename this place Just Another Gnossos Pappadopoulis.

Some have urged me to talk to my doctor and get some pills, but I have real, not imagined reasons to be depressed and unfortunately I am just going to have to live with them. Besides my doctor looked terrified when I told him last November that I had a heart attack under his watch and I don't think he could handle this situation any better.

So instead I've decided to make some changes around the place. Cleaned up the layouts, restored my blog lists, moved the FFIBS site to the new progressive blogging aggregate, and I've stepped out from the anonymity of being a fictional blogger. Hello my name is Al Hayward.

There was comfort in being an anonymous blogger or in my case two anonymous bloggers. Anonymity allowed you to post things like...

Harper a deranged fanatic, whose unrealistic view of Canadian society took root in the 70's, after a traumatic trip out west, where in a truck stop washroom, he was raped by five undercover mounties posing as hippies.

and the mindless Canadians who support this asshole couldn't find you. Not that that I posted such statements as Willy and nor would I do so now, but I'm just saying that you could do that type of thing when you were anonymous.

Now as Al Hayward, I would have to get statements from one or more of the probably now high ranking mounties that the event actually happened. No it would be next to impossible to prove that Harper was butt fucked by mounties posing to be hippies in the seventies. But I do know from personal experience that there were a lot of undercover mounties pretending to be hippies in the seventies and there was definitely something in Harper's past that has caused him to have such an unrealistic view of Canadian societal values.

Other changes: I'm going commercial. You will see ads on the right hand side and other places around the blogs. Ads for things I do to make a living. I figure what the hell they are no worse than the google ads explaining how to progressively loose 20 lbs. in just three weeks, that appear in between the posts on the pages of other progressive bloggers. Hey, if you are a blogger that is into advertising revenue, I am paying a cent a hit, with some caveats.

So here goes, attempt number four to transcend the bull shit.

Here is an idea Paladiea

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 18:29:00 +0000

Sometimes it is better to let sleeping dogs lie, let the storm pass, so to speak, you know STFU, because your explanatory post about why the Progressive Bloggers Administrators should not be used to censure a misogynist or as you described the individual in question, a well intentioned ignoramus, somehow does not ring true to the events that have been previously described. I get it, you cannot become the thought police and one of the big deals around these parts is that any asshole can get up on their Soap Box and prattle on and on and on Hey their traffic’s going up and they have the right to listen to their own voice over and over and over again and no matter how many times they post these misogynistic like statements, we all know that it is due to their ignorance and not because they are a misogynist (if I read your post correctly). However what your post does not explain is why did Progressive Bloggers abruptly remove Dammit Janet from the blog roll, without allowing them to leave with the dignity they deserve. Talk about thought police, apparently just stating that you are planning to leave is enough to get you booted around these parts. Sorry Paladiea it is too late to take the high road with this debacle.

Let me get this straight

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 02:43:00 +0000

We are being asked to believe that the same Harper who had our public servants roaming Canada counting and then reporting to him, on a weekly basis, the number of Economic Action Plan signs that were in place in preparation for the election, did not check to see if the voter suppression tactics were in place for the targeted ridings. He might not have known exactly what time in the night, Mrs. Shirley Johnson in Mississauga was to receive the annoying call from a conservative pretending to be a Liberal supporter or the exact phony location that Liberal supporters were being sent to in Sudbury, but he sure as hell knew that both tactics would be used. Hell, when you hire the services of American voter suppression specialists, it is like ordering from a Chinese menu: 75,000 misdirection calls, 140,000 annoying late night calls, 75,000 Sabbath calls….. Oh would you like ballot box stuffing with that order?

Enabling Election Fraud

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 21:31:00 +0000

My favorite enabler is Andrew Coyne, because he gets quoted all the time by Progressive Bloggers and always gets a pass as a voice of non partisan conservatism. Re-read Mr. Coyne’s heavily linked National Post article on the conservative electoral fraud. The first paragraph lists everything “we do not know”.

We do not know whether the calls were made by members of the Conservative party. We do not know whether any Conservative authorized them, or even knew about them. We do not know whether anyone was prevented from voting, or had their vote changed, as a result, nor do we know whether the results of any riding were affected.

Or in short there’s no proof that the conservatives did anything. The middle of his piece is all about how serious this is and how Harper is changing the ethics etc. etc. etc. and then we get to the closing paragraph and the other great Harpercon spin.

The progression is sadly familiar. Having first compromised its beliefs, a party finds it is easier to compromise its principles; having compromised its principles, it learns to compromise its ethics; and compromises of ethics, as we have seen in other parties, lead sooner or later to compromises with the law.

If you think I am being too harsh on Mr. Coyne, go back and re-read his MacLeans post from a year ago about the illegal In & Out fraud.

My point is not to exonerate the Conservatives. It is rather to suggest that this is hardly the sort of cut-and-dried case of “electoral fraud” the opposition, and it seems large sections of the media, have decided it is. It is indeed, as the Conservative talking points insist, a dispute about accounting standards, and shifting standards at that: as of 2006, Elections Canada’s “Handbook for Candidates” really did seem to allow, in the judgment of the Federal Court, the very practices that are now in dispute.

Maybe if Coyne had stepped up last year over the fraud from the previous election, Harper might not have been so quick to participate in election fraud this year.

Oh sorry we haven't proven that Harper participated yet.

Not big on I told you so

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 05:45:00 +0000

But To every piece of sanctimonious, excrement that voted for a conservative candidate, in the last federal election and to all the ignorant, oozing, comedones who claimed that there was no difference between Harper and the Liberal governments of the past, I would respectfully ask that you each purchase a copy of tomorrow’s edition of the Toronto Sun and roll it into a coil. A coil so tight that when placed to your lips, and blown through, it makes a deep resonant sound. Continue to blow until the end of the coil is softened with the drippings of your bitter, alkaline spittle and then forcefully shove it up your ass, daily, until 2015.

It would be like watching Santa Claus drown

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 15:14:00 +0000

In preparation for what is expected to be a Polar Bear Xmas, with most likely one of Coca Cola’s largest ad campaigns in a decade, this week the Harper government has fulfilled the promise made by John Baird in the spring of 2008 to take immediate actionon the designation of Polar Bears as a species of special concern. There, that should stop any environmentalist from saying our policies are not the real thing

Miss your quota loose your territory

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 02:23:00 +0000

The Tar Sands Minister of Finance, Jim Flaherty spoke out today from the APEC conference in Honolulu, introducing plan B for the oil industry’s now shell shocked Canadian subsidiary. With the Keystone pipeline being delayed for a couple of years, the current Canadian management team has moved their focus onto the BC Gateway project. The unveiling of the revised timetable follows yesterday’s comments from the Tar Sands Minister of Natural Resources, Joe Oliver who surprisingly was still quoting the subsidiaries failed, ethical oil, marketing slogan. Meanwhile the Prime Minister of Tar Sands has remained silent, leaving his PR department to reiterate the long term viability of the Canadian organization. Although one would suspect that there was talk around the boardroom table about the continuing independence of the Canadian operation and the general weakness in their marketing abilities.

How do you tell someone you love them when you are dead

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:29:00 +0000

Someone is pushing bad shit out there tonight, my busy ER nurse informed me. Apparently seven ODs on a Sunday night is large number at the Credit Valley ER. Patients from Saturday, were already lined up in the hallways, with exhausted, vigil holding, parents, children or spouses, curled up in chairs or camped out on the floor. I guess the drug network breaks down in the suburbs, I thought When I was a kid, Chum’s Pritchard would warn us, by placing inane statements between sets. Something like We don’t play ABBA around here any more, the water has been too deep since last Thursday, meaning of course, don’t buy the Swedish Liquid that just hit town, because people are freaking out. Read more »

Generational Occupancy

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:36:00 +0000

I don’t know what’s going on.

I’ve been away for far too long.

It looks like my world may have started to change.

The long haired freaky occupation.

Has been compared to my generation

So I shouldn’t find a new revolution all that strange

Yesterday is gone

noreply@blogger.com (WILLY) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 18:51:00 +0000

I don't even want to talk about this. You know, it just seems like one of those things. Adding anger to a broken heart is all that it might bring. But it is time to focus on the future and leave the past behind. So let's talk about tomorrow, because yesterday is gone.

I was seventeen until I was thirty, and thirty-three until forty-two. I was fifty-five until I was sixty, now I'm aging daily, just like you. You might have clung to your past also, marking decades with your songs, or maybe your achievements or something that went wrong. But this is not about our ages, we are all now, in the same place. Has our identity been stolen or are there just some hard facts we have to face?

Have we really been paying attention, or did we let the politicians lull us asleep. Times always seem much harder, when there is so much more stuff you want to keep. But our economy is broken and our debt continues to rise. Running faster on the treadmill, will not save our lives. Sadly I speak as one with experience who has wasted too much for far too long. It is time to plan for a new future, because yesterday is gone.

Every government is corrupt as unlimited power is apt to do. They have always been there to protect the corporations and never worry about me and you. But is that really what we wanted, certainly not when we were young. Hell we never paid attention, we just went out and got things done. We measured success with our hard earned dollars or our status with our fame and wrote off our moral responsibilities and just continued to play the game.

But now faced with the failure of this self serving consumerism, I watch in disgust as our government tries to redefine our nationalism. We can no longer afford to assist the weak or the poor, we will close our borders and prepare for a new war. The environment continues to be damed, as we mine more tar and pump the now ethical profits into our cars. New prisons will be built to keep the unreported crimes off our streets and we'll all measure the health of our country with the bloated corporate balance sheets.

Now there are probably some lies in what I have said, at least as it applies to you. You might be very successful and enjoying all the things that you do. But if you had the opportunity to start all over again today, would your choices be the same, would you live your life the same way.

Well, I have that chance again for the third time in my life, and this time I only have to care for two dogs and my wife. Although it may sound like I'm just singing a new song, believe me this time.

All my yesterdays are gone.

h/t Jimmy McCracklin here & here