BIG GHOST CHRONICLES

Big Ghost's Message of Hope for 2012

2011-12-31T17:20:00.000-08:00

Ayo whattup yall...you now in the presence of the Grand Imperial Volcano Hands aka Phantom Raviolis the Inventor of Slaps...otherwise known as The Hands of Zeus aka Cocaine Biceps aka the illustrious Galaxy Knuckles...but yall kno the god as the infamous Big Ghost aka Thor Molecules the panty melter. First off Imma apologize for the delay. Its been mad long since the god blessed yall wit some scrolls. But like I be tellin niggas...life happens namsayin. N yo.. we dont choose inspiration...it chooses us son. The god sat down to bless yall a few times...n truth be told I wasnt feelin the shit the way I wanted to be feelin that shit. I asked one of my muses bout it n she told me thats jus how geniuses is nahmean. But regardless of that shit son 2011 is a wrap....n we gettin ready to pop those corks on another year namsayin. But before we load up the choppers we gon end this one the rite way first. Now I aint wanna spoil the surprise but the god had planned on sumthin bigger...but I aint finish it. I had a year end extravaganza I was workin on which Imma jus have to push into 2012. My bad yo... but Im tryna provide yall witta a turkey n that shit takes time to cook the rite way. Other niggas might be able to whip up some bullshit ass Stouffers tv dinners n say to you aight niggas...FEAST...but I aint bout that shit b. If you come to the table for a meal I aint gon put a McNugget on ya plate feel me? I aint gon say word...eat that McNugget n may God bless you namsayin. Nah son we gotta have principles n morals n shit like that in life. So I aint gon pull ya shirt over ya head n just punch you like that. I aint gon blindside niggas on some "Yo whats that shit over there?!" shit n then run the other direction nahmean. Nah yo...the god is jus a man b. The god stay humble par. I may not got too many imperfections but I be makin mistakes here n there too b.

So as I was kickin back on my cloud I seen sumthin...I got splashed witta moment of honesty b. Word is bond n the shit made me think son. I seen children playin outside namsayin...n yall kno how little niggas dont give a fuck bout no rain or wind or nothn like that... n they was feelin life par. They wasnt dwellin on no stress or none of that shit. Basically these little muthafuckas is goin thru life on some fuck it Imma jus do me type shit son. N thats that innocence nahmean. We all had that shit at one time yo...but as we grow life starts throwin plates at you whenever you start thinkin shit is jus cool nahmean. You kno how like you be on some whattup good morning shit n the bitch start throwin coffee mugs n dishes at you type shit....word is bond n you jus get the fuck outta dodge n you aint even kno for sure why that shit was happenin. That shit dont happen to kids b. You can tell these little muthafuckas they goldfish Joey died n they gon look at you on some ayo FUCK LIFE type shit n then 10 minutes later they fuckin wit Yoshi namsayin. They gon be playin that Wii shit or kickin it wit they imaginary friends or whatever nahmean. But I seen that shit namsayin...these little innocent niggas enjoyin life n the shit hit me son. Tears jus burst out my wig son. I flipped the table over n had to slap the butler yo. A niggas emotions jus overcame him n shit. Son i be lettin the pressure get to me sometimes. Muthafuckas start tellin you you great...niggas start wantin to throw cake at you...people be hollerin at you makin you offers askin if they can buy you...they wanna work wit you...they want you to be on the next mission to the moon...this that n the third. But you gotta stay true to who you is par. Otherwise you jus goin thru the motions. You aint creatin...you jus recreatin. Either that or you start fixin shit that aint broke. You start reinventin the wheel n sayin ayo why dont we try makin a square wheel or a triangle wheel or a trapezoid wheel or some shit... Fuck all that b. You start thinkin outside the box too much n pretty soon you forgettin how to boil water. You start gettin stupid ideas like ayo Im outta coke so Imma sniff some table salt. Fix ya face little nigga. I see you muthafuckas takin shit way too personally. Have some dignity b. Correct yaself. Theres only so long that you can keep sprayin cologne on your stank ass when in actuality you need to be takin a shower b. Reinvigorate ya pores or whatever. Niggas is sprayin they cologne ey'where tryin to mask they odors. Fuckouttahere you dirty ass muthafuckas.

Plus I got cowardly ass niggas tryin to test the gods hand skills ey'day. I wanna send a personal fuckouttahere to those niggas rite there. Niggas want that fade nahmean. They can have that shit b. I dont make threats I destroy lives son. Yall dont wanna catch that Zeus slap nigga. Son Imma make sure ya future kids would feel that shit n cease to muthafuckin be born due to that slap b. Your ceased to even exist future children's children would feel that shit b. No matter what dimension they exist in. The friends n family members of those children that dont exist except in another dimension's children who will never exist whose kids also dont exist's children would feel that slap vicariously thru YOUR face b. I been told niggas that shit n where they at now son? Niggas gon crawl out another niggas ass to say some disrespectful shit to the god but dont in actuality want that shit to escalate par. Imma slap you niggas so hard that you gon wake up lookin up at dinosaurs son. Im gon slap you niggas into prehistoric times namsayin. You gon feel the mighty hand of god on your face you disrespectful ass niggas. Im gon slap protons n neutrons n shit outta you. Other niggas gon innocently be walkin by n seein the god smackin mathematical equations out ya head you nerd ass niggas. Imma smack the algebras outta you. I dont care where I bump into you niggas at. I catch you at a Footlocker waitin to pay for ya little Reebok ZigTechs n Imma knock the shit out ya hands n emasculate you niggas. Imma take offf my belt n whip you in front of ya kids n ya lady or ya moms...whoever you wit son. Imma lacerate you niggas. Thats the best case scenario. I might catch you in that Footlocker n jus put hands on you n smack you thru that walll n have you flyin thru 3 different stores before you stop flyin thru walls nigga. You gon start off in a Footlocker n get slapped thru a Baby Gap n a Gizmobies before you land on a sofa in Victorias Secret nigga.

But yall already kno that shit...thats neither here nor there namsayin. I aint sweatin shit like that son. Im bout makin these positive moves for 2012. Imma continue to spread joy nahmean. But if niggas disrespect me Imma impregnate they broads son. Straight up b. Imma send a lightning bolt to they cribs. Imma strike they broads wit lightning n have them seeded up on some 'now you havin a niggas baby you very welcome' type shit. N you gon be goin thru life thinkin the shit all good like 'ayo she havin my baby' or whatever...but nah. Word is bond n when that baby pops out n got a hand the size of a baseball glove...n that shit is glowin wit fire you gon kno what the deal is. That baby gon put hands on you n slap the manhood out you b. Niggas wanna make checkers moves on a niggas chess board. Fuckouttahere little nigga. I aint bout all that. Imma knock ya little Jenga tower over if you wanna play games son. I been made niggas examples. Niggas still wanna play games tho. Ayo Imma take the whole monopoly board n Imma have hotels on all those shits. You gon have ya little Baltic Ave n Mediterranean Ave... n Imma be knockin ya little green house out the way n runnin over ya little thimble n shit. Cos you a little nigga makin little nigga moves. But yo...like I said Im bout makin these positive moves for 2012 so I aint gon even say no more. Happy New Year Muthafuckas.

Aight peace.

Backseat Muthafuckas

2011-11-29T17:28:00.000-08:00

Ayo whattup yall its ya boy Thor Molecules aka Phantom Raviolis the panty melter aka Galaxy Knuckles aka the Hands of Zeus otherwise known as the high n exalted Cocaine Biceps n the mighty inventor of slaps nahmean. Ayo we livin in a time where ey'body wanna be a boss namsayin. Im sayin even the muthafuckin weed carriers in the crew feel like they be entitled to shit that the nigga who actually give him the weed to carry is entitled to b. The shit aint rite son. Back in the day muthafuckas like Mopreme or Big Syke...or whatever them niggas names was in Thug Life or the Outlawz wit 2Pac....they all knew they place within the organization namsayin. Pac use to heat up quarters wit his lighter n leave em on those niggas foreheads if they fell asleep in his presence b. Thats jus disrespectful yo. But those niggas aint even say shit to him for it nahmean. Niggas knew they place son. They knew that Pac was the bread winner n that they basically wasnt shit without the nigga namsayin.

Which is why it broke my heart son...it broke my muthafuckin heart to see a dude like Busta Rhymes...a muthafuckin veteran who been in the game for bout 20 years...when half the niggas in Young Money was either toddlers or muthafuckin zygotes n shit....go n sign to a label like YMCMB. A whole crew of backseat muthafuckin niggas. Aint like they gave the homie some kinda executive position at the label b. They aint brought him to the company as a boss...they jus signed son like he was a little nigga yo. They signed my dude like he was Cory Gunz or some shit par. Like this aint a cat who rocked on joints wit Biggie n helped put Dilla on son. Nah yo...it aint rite to be puttin the illustrious niggas in the backseat par. The backseat is for the underling niggas namsayin. The ones who need to stand under somebody else umbrella cos they aint equipped to deal wit some storms n shit theyselves namsayin. But we livin in different times b. This Estrogeneration™ of little niggas is makin all the rules now b.

I touched on all this shit back when that cabbage patch nigga Drizzy started talmbout niggas was stealin ideas from him n Weezy son. The nigga said Jay n Kanye was bitin they whole idea to do a duets album n shit. Cos I guess son figured him n Dwayne was the only ones who had thought of that shit. What son aint acknowledged was that Jay had already did 2 albums witta singin ass R&B nigga hisself when he did the R Kelly joints. So really...singin ass Aubrey was the one steppin on toes....but that aint even what had a nigga vexed. Who was THIS little backseat ass muthafucka thinkin he was to be gettin outta pocket n talkin sideways bout niggas who birthed him b? Basically the god had to get som shit off his chest n this is what was said...

"Ayo I just seen this video wit that nigga Drake talkin foul bout his elders n shit. Son be splashin his cologne on niggas nahmean. He tryna rub his cologne on niggas n keep his ass in the picture namsayin. He like that nigga in the backseat of the car pokin his head between the front seats tryna stay in the conversation wit front seat niggas nahmean. Ayo Jay n Kanye be some front seat niggas son. Niggas got seat warmers n shit. Niggas can change the station on the car stereo namsayin. The nigga Drake be tryna play wit the knobs on the stereo nahmean. Son can’t adjust the heat controls n shit cos he a backseat nigga namsayin. Nigga you jus look out the side windows aight. You aint built for no windshield views n shit. Niggas like Drake aint built for the front seat son. Son in the back with the child locks n shit. You aint no airbag havin nigga Aubrey. You need another niggas permissions n shit to crack ya windows nahmean. Niggas need to open ya doors son. Muthafuckas in the front seats open they own doors namsayin. Front seat niggas got legroom son. Niggas push back they seats n take yours nahmean. Ayo Drake niggas is takin ya legroom if they see ya ass. Ya backseat ass muthafucka."

Now did the god overreact? Naw son. Matter fact most niggas jus underreacted to that shit b. N son jus kept pokin his head into the front seat. You kno like when you be orderin food at the drive thru n theres that one nigga in the backseat hollerin bout "throw some extra pickles on that" n whatever. Thats some real life shit. Now we got all these backseat type niggas runnin the game tryin to get they extra pickles. Dwayne went n let the human tambourine slide into the front seat wit him n now all these other backseat ass muthafuckas is hoppin out they booster seats n tryin to move up to the front. That muthafuckin Chester Cheeto lookin ass cornball Wiz Khagina be frontin on some boss shit too now yo. If that aint some fucked up shit to you I hope you a twelve year old girl forreal son. No grown ass man should be seein that as some righteous shit b. That shit is jus wrongteous yo.

Remember Ma$e tho? Son wasnt necessarily no backseat nigga...but he definitely belonged in the passenger seat namsayin. When he was the #2 to Puffy in all the videos he was doin good for hisself. Then what happened? Son tried to boss up n slide into the drivers seat n start his own shit. Son decided he was jus gon take the wheel all a sudden. N what was the product of that shit b? Thats right. Harlem World son. Niggas flyin outta cannons n cheesin like the Cream Of Wheat nigga while strugglin to put together one decent song. Ayo you aint gon make no monumental shit wit niggas like Blinky Blink in ya crew son. Niggas even had Kanye n Just Blaze beats n the shit was still wack.

Other backseat muthafuckas who tried to move into the front include that nigga Game. Now heres a dude who had no business tryin to take matters into his own hands at all yo. Son let his ego get in the way tho. We aint gon get into who did what to who n all that shit...but bottom line is the nigga a habitual "bite the hand that feeds his ass" muthafucka. This nigga can call shotgun as many times as he want n he still gon end up in the backseat at the end of the day par. You wont never see the nigga ridin in the front adjustin his seat n gettin his climate control on or glancin at the GPS namsayin. Sons window only rolls down halfway. Black Wall Street? Son got like 87 weed carriers in that muthafucka. I dont even understand if that shits spose to be a record label or what yo. Son is a fan b. He aint gon determine the destination of nothin son. He a passenger. A BACKSEAT passenger my nigga. The kind that wanna lean forward n give his opinion to the nigga navigatin thru all the traffic....yellin directions from the back at the dude who actually knows his way around namsayin. I guarantee you the happiest day of sons life was when Hov mentioned his name subliminally in those bars that ended up on the first joint off Blueprint 3. Son was so excited to hear the nigga ALMOST respond to him after 6 years of baitin him that he recorded a whole song bout Jay 25 minutes later to celebrate b. Then another one. Then another one...But who is THIS nigga to try n call out other rappers b? Sons verses use to sound like he was jus readin the "thank yous" off the cd jackets yo. But his new shit is transformin into whoever the nigga he doin a joint wit. If he on a joint wit Tyler he become Tyler. If he on a joint wit Jeezy he become Jeezy. If he on a joint wit Nas he become Nas. So if he ever do get to do a song wit Jay you already kno Jayceon gon be gettin his "IT SOUNDS SO SOULFUL DONT YOU AGREE?" on during the intro.

See Jayceon is more like on the level of a Papoose...or any other nigga who suffers from extreme dellusionalness n shit. See Pap is a backseat muthafucka in ey single way imaginable b. But sons whole backseat passenger status is at a even higher level than most backseat niggas tho. Son been in the game since the 90s n still cant get a album out...mainly cos NOBODY CARES BOUT PAPOOSE JOINTS namsayin. Son makes joints for motorbike passengers...niggas who ride on the back of the bike clutchin the nigga drivin nahmean. This nigga truly believes in his heart that he the king of New York tho son. Im sayin...like 3 million niggas would have to die first before son is even in the top 100 to be a contender for that title par. N most of those niggas dont even rap. There are niggas who aint even been born yet who got more right to call theyselves the king of NY. There are muthafuckas wit crack pipes in they mouths that get half they meals from Taco Bell dumpsters that got more right to call theyselves the king of NY son. Soon as this niggas "wife" Remy Ma gets outta jail he gon be right there...on the back of that motorbike again nahmean. Til then he gon continue gettin his mediocre on n disrespectin other niggas beats. Get this McNigga the fuckouttahere b.

But the boy Young Eeyore? He know how to play his position b. Thats why Jermaine finally winnin. Cos 1) he accepted his fate as a backseat muthafucka n 2) he dont step on nobody toes. As you can see in the video son dont even sit in the front seat when he jus hangin wit his boys. Thats a humble ass nigga rite there b. Mind you son got his backseat order on at the Krispy Kremes...but he was jus overjoyed to be eatin I think nahmean. Son wasnt seein a whole lotta meals before he dropped his Lolmatic joint n sailed to the top of the charts namsayin. So Im happy for him par. I think Jay even started answerin the niggas calls. So Im happy for that boy Cole. Far as the rest of these backseat muthafuckas go...learn from the little homie n stop fuckin up the game.

Aight peace.

Big Ghost Presents: The Take Care Review

2011-11-09T06:18:00.000-08:00

Ayo whattup yall...the Hands of Zeus aka Thor Molecules aka Phantom Raviolis aka Cocaine Biceps... otherwise known as The Blog King n the Inventor of the Slap...is now officially back in the building namsayin. As summa yalls already kno...the god aint really no big fan of the nigga whose album Im bout to discuss nahmean. But Imma give this shit a unbiased real ass nigga persective yo. Imma ga'head n introduce the nigga now namsayin. Ayo...kinda like ya boy Big Ghost...son goes by many names b...Drizzy or Aubrey or jus Aubs...n the Artist Formerly Known as Wheelchair Jimmy nahmean. But yalls might know him as The Kitten Whisperer aka The Harvester of Pauses aka The Taio Cruz of Hip Hop aka Young Garnier Fructis the pre-cum baby aka Jennifer Aniston's favorite emcee....n the muthafucka most likely to have a gateway to Narnia in his closet aka The Michael Buble of Rap or that nigga witta beatin vagina for a heart that you be hearin on the radio sandwiched between Katy Perry n Lady Gaga joints all day aka Justin Biebers beard n the only nigga on earth capable of turnin sandpaper into moist towelettes wit the touch of his hands...the vagina nectar-garglin nigga who makes lambs look dangerous hisself.....otherwise known as the Human Electric Slide... OctobVariesOwn....Drake. Now I promise yall...I aint got no expectations or plans to hate on this nigga unless the shit jus so happens to be wack nahmean...Word is bond. Truth is...I aint really got nothin against son like that yo. Aight lets go...

Ayo fuck this nigga b. First off...this nigga gotta stop wit this lonely mobster image he tryin to portray these days yo. This nigga said this shit was bout him feelin like he a king tho. Son said "I used to stare at this world through a glass window and, like, two to three years later, I become a king in that world. That's who's sitting on that cover..." They give this nigga a muthafuckin goblet n a table for one witta candle n a bronze owl n now he runnin rap? Nigga ya respect from ya peers is as deep as the success you got in the mainstream. Aint nobody in rap lookin up to you like that cos you dope. Your success is whats dope to these niggas son. King tho? Fuck outta here b.

1. Over My Dead Body - A forreal....this sounds like the soundtrack to some Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants type shit son. I forget who the broad he got singin the hook on this muthafucka is...but i think its Renee Zellweger or some shit. I feel like Im inside a Barnes & Noble or a Starbucks b... This joint is more light in the ass than the fushigi gravity balls you see in those infomercials at 3 in the mornin son. But yo...how the first words that this nigga got the nerve to utter on this muthafuckin album gon be "I think I killed errybody in the game last year man"? Pardon me son? Word? You mean the same year that Kanye dropped another classic album in...while yo overrated ass uhhh....DID NOT? That year b? You mean the year when niggas predicted you was gon do a milli the first week out n you did 450k instead...n then a few days later Eminem dropped n he did like 750k in HIS first week n kept YOU from gettin back to the top of the charts? The same year that Em n Jigga won all the Grammys YOU was spose to take home? THAT year son? Oh.

2. Shot For Me - I dont even know what to say b. Like forreal...after hearin this shit...I wouldnt be surprised if this nigga could pollinate a flower wit his fuckin breath son. Im pretty sure that son gets up in the morning n plays his harp for his cats n then slides down the muthafuckin banister in his satin man nightie n has a full glass of breast milk before he goes to the studio n hammers out some pooned out shit like this b. Sons talkin to a broad thru the whole song on some bitter shit n at one point the nigga even says "The way you walk...thats me. The way you talk...thats me. The way you got your hair up...did you forget? Thats me" Son... Thats you? Aight then... But the boy aint done yet yo...at the end of the joint he proposes a toast. This is how that shit go...

"May your neigbors respect you

Trouble neglect you, angels protect you

And Heaven accept you".

Ayo I gotta toast for you too Drake..."May you shut the fuck up"

3. Headlines - Lets be real...lotta yall muthafuckas dont wanna accept that this shit was a crime against heterosexuality...but thats cool. Yall feel like the human croissant did his thing on this shit. I respect that. But anyways...the god already had a few thoughts on this shit a few months ago namsayin. Yall can peep that shit rite HERE

4. Crew Love (ft The Weeknd) - Ayo I been startin to accept that maybe ALL these joints is gon be bitchmade son. Truth is I fucks wit The Weeknd tho b. The music on this shit aint that bad...but it aint really no kinda beat namsayin. But then here come Young Angel talmbout havin "soldiers" n niggas "who came up off the strip" for him n "come up off the hip" for him if he need em to. I mean......jus stop that shit son. Niggas kno ya pedigree b. Like you wasnt the little nigga ridin ponies n doin cartwhels in the backyard livin that upperclass suburban life before you became a Canadian teen soap opera star n shit b. Now you the nigga tuckin napkins in ya shirt while you eat cos you "mobbin like that" n orderin hits on niggas who disrespect you...jus stop it Aubrey. Son said "I think I like who Im becoming..." Im sayin the boy Aubs is startin to feel hisself a little too much b. Anyways son...when I thinks of Crew Love I think bout Beanie Sigel movin J Cole's mentor out his way so he could body the fuck outta a glorious ass beat while Jiggaman in his prime delivers a hook that sticks to ya ribs namsayin. Thats what Im gon always think of son...

5. Take Care - Is this shit house? This shits like some kinda African disco shit b. Nothin wrong witta nigga gettin his international on but sons spittin those cream-filled bars again. Ayo son actually dropped the words "tears all over the pillowcase" namsayin...like I aint even had to make that shit up b. But dont worry ma...Aubrey got his cape on again ...tellin the broads of the world exactly what yall spose to be thinkin n feelin n how "Somebody shouldve told you something...to save you". The moisture levels on this shit got clouds formin over my speakers b.

"Pushin me away so I give her space

dealin witta heart I didnt break

I be there for you, I will care for you

I keep thinkin you jus dont kno..."

6. Marvin's Room/Buried Alive [Interlude] (ft Kendrick Lamar) - Aka the "Player HATER'S Anthem". This nigga jus gon use bein drunk as a green light to talk to a broad while her man aint around n tell her that son aint shit. This is what little marshmallow ass muthafuckas do tho. Word. Now clown ass niggas is gon try n justify this shit as son jus dealin wit real nigga emotions n shit...or like he aint afraid to jus be honest. Nah. Fuck ya real emotions b. Thats like sayin "oh son was jussa little tipsy off them 4 flirtinis he had n so he dropped dime on his mans who was violatin his parole but he was jus dealin wit some real nigga emotions..." Nah yo. Fuck THIS nigga b. But my dude Kendrick Lamar continuin his streak of rockin on other niggas high profile joints n stealin the whole spotlight from em by spittin the illest shit on the album. Problem is that the genius nigga that sequenced these joints tacked the muthafuckin interlude onto the end of this bullshit ass song yo...so you gotta either sit thru this audio progesterone ey'time or fast forward thru the muthafuckin lotion dispensatizing takin place jus to hear that muthafucka son. Im tellin you tho son....this nigga BEEN alignin hisself wit the niggas he most threatened by...the muthafuckas he sees comin for a piece of HIS pie nahmean. Yall jus aint seein it. He wanna keep muthafuckas like The Weeknd under his wing for a reason b. Theres a reason why son had J Coles ass openin for him (pause?) on tour. Theres a reason why son got Kendrick n ASAP Rocky openin for his ass on THIS tour b. These niggas might appreciate what son doin for em...but I see what the insecure shook nigga who be goin thru broads purses while they in the bathroom is doin son. Imma need somebody to edit Aubrey off this track for me tho...

7. Underground Kings - Imma speak on this speak on this song one time one time Awwwwh. The beat is kinda trill. Yeah the beat is kinda trill Awwwhhhhhhh. But ahh cant take how son raps...no not even a liiiitlebit. Not even a liiiiittlebit. Naw ahh don't really giiiiveashit. Nawwwwww...

Cos really ahh dont giveashit. They - keep - tellin - me that - ahh - jus - need - to - learn - to - giiiveashit. Maybe if you was in my shoes youd kno why ahh jus cant giiiiveashit. Ahh think its deliberate. Yeah ahh think its deliberate.

This song is too much homosex. Bwoy ahh aint into homosex. This nigga is so homosex....nothin against homosexuawwwwwwwls....But ah dont give a fuck what boobie say. He - might - be - cool - wit - Bun - but - nigga - Aubrey - aint - no -U-G-K....

Nawwww.....cos nigga you be gay. Ah - think- that - the - whole - world - thinkin - you be into bootie play Ahh....Nigga ahh jus think this songiswack...I - wasted - 3 - whole - minutes - of - my - life - nigga...I wannumback Ackhhh

8. We'll Be Fine - This shit got some bump to it. I was thinkin Young Angel might even try n lace this shit yo. This nigga jus lazy as fuck now tho son. Say what you want bout this niggas inability to display masculine tendencies n shit par..but son use to kno how to rap kinda namsayin. The nigga aint exactly spittin those sewage bars he been slidin to Wayne...but son had a few Carter 4-worthy moments on this shit too yo. "I heard you got your ways...I never woulda known. She said "yer such a dog...I said yer such a bone".

Birdman gettin his handrub on all over the end of this shit too. Shit had niggas worried cos he sounded like he was bout to rap....instead the nigga jus did his best to paint this nigga witta gangster brush....."Toronto stand up for one of the realest niggas...Drizzy wit the realest flow...y'kno? Toast to this gangsta shit fellas...." Word yo...jus look at this gangsta ass nigga....

"And shout out to Toronto bitch Im Tony in my city"

9. Umso Umso Umso Umso Usmo Proud of You (ft Nicki Minaj) - I aint even mad at this beat son...but the shit this nigga be sayin yo...."I love it when your hair still wet cos you jus took a shower...runnin on a treadmill n only eating salad...sound so smart like you graduated college". I cant even stomach that shit b. Son always gotta be on some "Gurl you kno you look yo best when you jus gettin up in the morning n you got them creases on yo face from yo pillow n that crusty shit all in yo eyes cos thats the real you gurl awwwwwhhh" shit. That or he feedin broads that "you aint even kno how special you is cos other niggas dont be noticin it...but I do" shit. Ayo pardon me if you a female that happens to fall for this cornball shit...but most niggas DO be knowin bout these muthafuckin covert broad tactics namsayin. This nigga tellin you what you wanna hear n throwin all the other niggas you talk to under the bus....n got you convinced that he actually feel that way ma. Son be preyin on the weak. The nigga jus gon parallel park his top down bitchmobile on the track n do nothin but wait for these low self esteem havin broads to come flyin across the hood of his shit n take that bait. But its whatever namsayin. Let this nigga get his false Beyonce female empowerment on. But that hook son. Ayo is this nigga still attached to a placenta sack b?

10. Lord Knows (ft Rick Ross) - Anybody remember the last time Just Blaze produced a wack joint now? This beat is some incredible shit my nigga. Rozay does his thing too...n if I couldnt understand what the homie Young Playtex was sayin...I would say his shit was aight too. But listen to this niggas bars son.....

"So Im goin thru her phone if she go to the bathroom n her purse rite there...I dont trust these hoes at all"

"Thats why I walk around wit all this gold on...n every time I run into these niggas they want no problems"

"They take the greats from the past n compare us...I wonder if theyd ever survive in this era"

"I know of all the things that I hear they be pokin fun at...never the flow...they kno I run that"

"Im a descendant of either Marley or Hendrix"

"Im hearin all of the jokes...I kno they tryna push me...I kno that showin emotion dont ever mean Im pussy"

"A lot of niggas came up off a style that I made up...but if all I hear is me ...then who should I be afraid of?".

But yo..I fucks wit this joint son. Real talk tho...I woulda fucked wit it even if there was no vocals until the Bawse comes in n gets his ignorant on anyways. If somebody gets me a instrumental of this joint Imma jus play the shit outta that muthafucka too son. Matter fact Im lookin forward to hearin OTHER niggas body this shit namsayin (no...not you Papoose). Cos son gave this nigga one of the top 3 beats of the year nahmean. Plus Just Blaze beats is like jeggings son....they can make almost any bitch ass look good.

11. Cameras/Good Ones Go (Interlude) - That Jon B I hear son? Anyways this nigga jus gon get his Lil Tunechi froggy flow on now. At the end of the day this is jus some more of that "Here nigga hold my purse music" that son been specializin in for the last few years. But its almost like a cherub came n whispered in the niggas ear after he recorded this shit n told him "Son...this shit aint moist enough b...you need to come do a duet wit me now" for the interlude...

"Dont you go gettin married...dont you go get engaged

I know youre gettin older...dont have no time to waste

I shouldnt be much longer...but you shouldnt have to wait

Cant lose you..cant help it...Im sorry Im so selfish"

12. Doing it Wrong (ft Stevie Wonder) - This nigga jus took bitchassedness in hip hop to a whole new level on this one b. Like son jus discovered new frontiers in softness that aint nobody EVER explored my nigga. I cant even believe what the fuck this dude sayin yo.

"When a good thing goes bad its not the end of the world...its jus the end of a world that you had wit one girl"

No dignity whatsoever b. None. ZERO son. Not a single solitary snowflake of fuckin decorum left in this nigga. I tried to type out the muthafuckin words to the hook n that delicate ass shit jus floated off the screen when I did it yo...so you jus gon have to listen to that shit yaself son. This nigga gotta orchard of pauses blossoming all over this muthafucka. If yall enjoy these audio vagina injections thats cool...but I cant fuck wit this shit nahmean. I kno son is legedary as fuck...but Stevie playin his harmonica over that shit at the end dont mean shit to me neither b. Might also be time for my dude to jus think bout lettin go of those braids already par. Those muthafuckas start like 8 inches further back than they did in the 80s nahmean. No disrespect to the legend but Im jus sayin b...

13. The Real Her (ft Lil Wayne & Andre 3000) - Now its time for this niggas ode to savin strippers. Havin 3 Stacks on this joint dont make this shit any less unacceptable b. But whenever the citizens of Los Hopeless get tired of lettin niggas slip singles down the crack of they asses they jus flash that muthafuckin vagina spotlight up on the clouds n wait for this nigga to slide down a rainbow witta cape on his back n a tote bag full of sweaters he jus finished crocheting to come save they asses son. The boy Drake is fightin on the front lines of the war for keepin broads from takin they clothes off for money b. This nigga saves more hoes before 9 am than most niggas gon save in they whole life namsayin.

14. HYFR [Hell Ya Fuckin Right] (ft Lil Wayne) - If this muffin-top havin ass nigga wasnt jus squirtin out another sonnet bout the same shit n talmbout textin a broad the whole time I woulda said son killed the first 40 seconds of this muthafucka. Anyways yo....I dont hate this shit. I mean...I dont really fuck wit it like that neither...but I aint mad at it yo. Im sayin I dont see myself wantin to smack a nigga witta light post or nothin if he play this shit in front of me or nothin. Like I dont feel like I gotta slap a nigga into another realm of the universe n go seed his broad up if he accidentally lets this shit come thru the speakers namsayin. I aint gon necessarily throw a volcano at a nigga if he got this shit playin in his crib n I can hear the muthafucka nahmean. I mean...thats definitely some kinda improvement over the rest of this bullshit yo.

15. Look What You've Done - Im havin Sideline Story flashbacks b. This nigga nearly put me to sleep wit this shit yo...but this shit probably one of the better joints on this muthafucka still. Its like this nigga on a roll now wit back to back joints thats still kinda bitchmade but not as horrible as all the other bitchmade shit on this album nahmean. You could even say that if son jus did more bitchass shit like this instead of the other bitchass shit he do...he would be aight. This shit is so delicate that playin it out loud wit no headphones actually jus made my clothes softer b. But it was definitely a step in the slightly less bitchnigga direction for son.

16. Practice - The fuck is this shit b? This nigga turned Back That Azz Up into a ballad? Thats like some shit only a rape nigga coulda imagined son. Anyways b...the message to this muthafuckin joint is basically that all the other niggas that this broad done fucked wit was jus practice for her...for when she would eventually meet Aubrey's beige ass n be able to show him what she done learned namsayin. Again yo...Im sayin...who says shit like that? Wack ass creepy rape type niggas is who b. Niggas who hang out by the pool at night time n scare broads away...like this nigga rite here...

17. The Ride (ft The Weeknd) - Ayo my illegally downloaded version of this muthafucka aint come wit this track par.

18. The Motto (ft Lil Wayne) - So niggas is really still jerkin yo? Son...this shit jus makes me wanna hurt innocent creatures b. I might need to go punt my neighbor's dog across the fuckin block jus to relieve my muthafuckin tension after listenin to this bullshit rite here again son. This shit was like havin herpes in my ears b. You might only live once son...but apparently you can keep makin gay ass music forever if you wanna.

So thats the whole album son...or what Im gon refer to as that cascading waterfall of invisible dicks that sons fans call his music. Swear this nigga got the most forgiving fans on earth tho b. The nigga gets that exotic budgie tatted on his shoulder..."Nah chill...he jus doin him son". The nigga drops a million odes to savin broads..."Ayo chill...son jus tryna live par". The nigga starts rockin sweaters from 1983 Sears catalogs n shows up to awards shows wearin grandmother cardigans made from old sofas..."Nah chill...son jus stayin tru to hisself"...Im sayin b...the nigga could show up at a awards show wearin a unitard n niggas would still be like..."Jus let that nigga do him....he jus doin him son". Yall muthafuckas should be ashamed of yallselves tho....for lettin it come to this shit in the first place namsayin. Yall LET this niggas get to the top like that. Im talkin to niggas who emcee too. Yall done allowed this nigga to come in the door...n now he done opened the floodgates to a million other soft ass muthafuckas jus like him son. Ayo nobody disrespected Father MC n Candyman like that back in the day b. Them niggas was makin careers outta droppin soft ass shit too. Dudes aint try to crush they whole existence or nothin...but niggas aint exactly say "Ayo Father MC n Candyman yall niggas should be showin the rest of us muthafuckas what direction to take Hip Hop in yo...". But I dont even blame Drake b. That nigga SHOULD be able to have his lane. Its all good son. I hate that niggas music n he definitely that corny nigga at the club who pops open a bottle of champagne n then sniffs the cork...but he allowed to follow his dreams b. But yall niggas put that muthafucka on a pedestal. Like I said b...I dont blame Aubrey tho. Drake is what happens when ya son is conceived during a period week namsayin. That nigga was jus conceived on the wrong end of a menstrual cycle yo. These niggas gon always exist bruh. But I aint no follower son. If I dont like some shit...I dont jus rock wit it cos thats what broads be listenin to... n cos I want broads to be feelin me. Thats like sprayin yaself wit perfume jus cos chicks be enjoyin that shit...Yall effeminate ass niggas smarten up. Niggas always callin Drizzy homo tho. Im sayin yo...I dont think thats even the case b. N if it was...I aint judgin the nigga based on none of that yo. I mean...maybe son is kinda homo-esque. But either way par...this niggas masculinity been terminally ill for a hot minute now...that shits been on life support since Thank Me Later dropped b. But Im sure that muthafucka done kicked the bucket forreal wit this album son. If you niggas cop retail versions of this shit dont forget to take the cd in for a yearly pap smear b. Ayo fuck this shit son. Aight peace.

By the way yo...Imma give this shit...

1 Zeus Slap outta 5

or

5 Drake Pinky Salutes outta 5

Take ya pick b.

RIP HEAVY D

2011-11-08T22:11:00.000-08:00

Big Ghost Presents: The Live.Love.A$AP Review

2011-11-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its the Hands of Zeus back in the building nahmean aka Phantom Raviolis aka The Panty Melter aka Cocaine Biceps the inventor of the slap. Word is bond Imma skip all that other talk n get right down to the bone gristles namsayin. I had this shit sittin in my iTunes for a hot minute now n I still aint really listen to that muthafucka without no distractions all the way thru yo. So Im bout to give this ASAP Rocky joint a real thoro ass Zeus Hands inspection n give yalls the prognosis one time namsayin. Im sure by now a lot of yall already heard The Purple Swag or Pe$o joints...or maybe one of them older freestyles son dropped when he was still on some Kanyeezy type shit. Either way tho...son done come a long way from that shit...n he been movin his pieces on the chessboard correct yo. Son jus got hisself a 3 million dollar record deal even. Im sayin...my dude even on tour wit the Harvester of Pauses hisself now nahmean. Regardles of how I feel bout that boy Aubrey... it was a smart business move so I cant really front yo. But son might need to chill far as how he be puttin that nigga on a pedestal namsayin. Matter fact the dude said some shit bout how he would slap a nigga for that boy Drizzy. I aint kno what would possess homeboy to say some Captain Save a Hoe type shit like that but he did b. N even tho that kinda shit sound way too romantic for a dude to be sayin out the blue bout some effeminate ass nigga...we aint gon necessarily hold it against sons music. We gon jus pretend that the young brother aint play hisself wit that shit n let his music speak for itself namsayin.

Im sayin tho..."Club Paradise"?...Shit sounds mad homogenized b.

1. Palace - Ayo this a fresh ass way to start ya joint off son. Homie aint no beast or nothin but he aint no slouch neither. I also appreciate that son be acknowledgin how he jockin the fuck outta that Houston shit too. But I respect the sound cos he still puttin a NY twist on that shit. This muthafucka gon have little niggas runnin up in Walgreens rackin all the Benadryl n Nyquils tryin to get they lean on tho nahmean. Little niggas is gon be fallin asleep on the sidewalk from that shit all across the country. It aint always easy to cop that promethazine when you need it namsayin...little niggas jus improvise. Ayo this sounds like some Black Hippy meets Bone Thugs meets ATLiens meets actual aliens type shit to me. Word is bond... I digs this shit son.

2. Pe$o - This that joint that kinda gives you some idea of what Wiz Khagina would sound like if he still had a little talent n dignity left b. I still fucks wit this shit even tho I think I kinda heard it enough times now son. This beat is mad hypnotic yo. You can jus zone n imagine gettin pulled around the streets of Shanghai in a rickshaw by golden pandas or whatever when you hear some shit like this yo. This aint the kinda beat you need to go hammer on tho. You dont wanna be tryna murder this type a shit par. This the kinda beat you jus ride nahmean. You make love to this kinda beat namsayin...you dont be tryna sodomize a beat like this yo. You aint gotta blow its back out. You wanna caress some shit like this par. N son understands that less is more on a joint like this nahmean.

STRUGGLE ON A HUNDRED THOUSAND TRILLION

3. Bass - By this track I be thinkin ok maybe son need to slow down on that Darth Vader voice that Pac use to OD on back in his Strictly For My N.I.G.G.A.Z. days. You dont gotta screw down all this shit bruh. Might be a little toooooo much Houston shit happenin now b. But I fucks wit this still. Son definitely more style than substance tho...but that shit was never no secret nahmean. I aint really expectin him to spit no complex ass Pharoahe Monch type shit namsayin. If you aint no crazy intelligent nigga like that you shouldnt even be tryin to kick knowledge anyways yo. Nobody wanna hear dumb niggas tryin to drop jewelz. Thats why we got stupid ass niggas like Soulja Boy...who got the intelligence of a goldfish...tryin to get they KRS-One on. That nigga tried to get political n he jus ended up sayin some retarded shit like 'fuck the troops". Then he like "Wait...whuhhh? You mean yalls aint cool wit my ratchet bonjanglin ass sayin "fuck the troops'? But they aint like po-leeeese doh?" Nah you mongoloid ass nigga...stick to superman'n hoes n crankin n twerkin or whatever it is a grown nigga wit the intelligence of a toddler be doin. Scientists told that muthafucka that he only had 430 brain cells n the nigga thought "daaaaaayyyymmmmmmn thats a lot mayne"... Anyways I forgot what I was sayin... but I like this joint son.

4. Wassup - this beat sounds like some straight Kendrick Lamar n Schoolboy Q type shit b. The beat sound like when you be nice off a fifth of that Goose n you start sniffin a little coke so you dont fall asleep but then that shit dont really be mixin too good wit the dust joint you was takin pulls off 2 hours before that n you start feelin like you walkin down these empty hallways n ey'thing be echoing n soundin extra close to your eardrums n you start seein shit that cant be real like dinosaurs liftin weights n niggas rockin durags n Avirex jackets who got open books in front of them n shit namsayin...word...but I think thats what I likes bout this song yo.

5. Brand New Guy (ft Schoolboy Q)- I aint even know my nigga Q was actually on this mixtape til like 5 minutes ago yo. Q's flow is jus so disrespectful son. You can already tell this nigga don't hold no doors open for old ladies or chew wit his mouth closed yo. Son dont give a microfuck b. These Niggas sound like they could be in a group together tho. Not in the way that Pras was in Fugees n niggas was like "Ay why this nigga even in the group?"...but like...these dudes got actual chemistry on the track n shit. I fucks wit this shit heavy son.

6. Purple Swag Chapter 2 (ft Spaceghost & ASAP Nast) - This shits basically jus the original witta couple extra niggas jumpin on the shit wit him nahmean. I cant really tell all these ASAP niggas apart like that but them niggas all seem decent anyways namsayin. Niggas is switchin shit up n soundin like the one chubby muthafucka in Bone Thugs who cant really rap as fast as the rest of the niggas in the group but still be spittin. Like I said tho...these niggas aint really here to separate protons n neutrons from electrons n rap math equations over the beat like that nerd nigga Canibus or nothin namsayin. Forreal tho....I respect the ignorance they droppin on this shit son.

7. Get Lit (ft Fat Tony) - Outta all these laid back ass joint...this one gotta be the most laid back one so far son. I mean...this shit is almost gentle b. I aint mad at it but this aint the kinda shit I be listenin to unless I dont plan on doin shit for like a week straight namsayin. This muthafucka can have niggas fallin asleep at the wheel n rollin they whips into bus stops n pedestrians...so it definitely aint no shit for the ride son. This that shit for when you end up gettin so high that you cant even move ya limbs n you gotta coach yaself on how to open ya mouth so that you can call ya mans to come help you get up off the couch cos you feelin like you bout to start urinating on yaself any minute namsayin.

8. Trilla (ft ASAP Twelvy & ASAP Nast) - Ayo I still cant really tell none of these ASAP niggas apart like that namsayin...but this joint is my favorite shit on this muthafucka so far son. I played this shit 5 times in a row jus now yo. Word is bond...that beat is a menace my nigga. This like some shit where you jus be picturin yaself ridin across the desert in one of those Mad Max type joints wit the armor plates n the big ass wheels n shit n you got like 2 broads rockin black leather bikinis wit some furry thigh high boots on n fly ass blowout afros n these vultures is circlin above yall while the sun is settin n the sky be lookin all orange n burgundy n shit namsayin........n you got like gargoyles on Harley Davidson's shootin ya whip up so you gotta like start doin donuts n shit to make big ass clouds of smoke n dust start appearin so you can park ya shit n hop out n start blammin em muthafuckas n throwin grenades or whatever nahmean...but suddenly the ground starts to shake n cracks open n you start seein the core of the earth n some dragons made outta fire start to emerge from the flames n be swoopin over you n shit so you gotta look to the clouds n summon the angels from the heavens to come help you handle these niggas but then you see like a sorcerer who got lightning comin outta they eyes n shit he be strikin the angels wit the lightning from his eyes n so you start thinkin bout how can you approach the nigga from behind (pause) n strangle the muthafucka nahmean...so you be doin like somersaults n rollin across the ground to camouflage yaself wit the earth as you approach the sorcerer n he aint noticin you so you spring up n try to yoke the nigga n he fightin back n now lightnin bolts is shootin out the niggas hands n he tryin to maneuver outta the choke hold so you gotta like flip the muthafucka in the air n he go flyin n then he lands on top of one of those pointy ass rocks that look like upside down icicles n shit...n he explodes n all the gargoyles n dragons n shit start freezin while they fightin against the angels n then they turn to like black ashy statues n crumble or whatever...n then the two broads start dancin on top of the hood of the car n they start doin lesbian shit nahmean. Word yo.

9. Keep It G (ft Chace Infinite & Spaceghost Purrp) So we got Chace Infinite droppin some know-the-ledge for these little niggas on the intro n then Rocky spits his bars. This beat is type slowmo son. Shit sounds like some old Black Moon shit wit some Sade sprinkled on top. Shit is mad laid back yo. Then this Spaceghost nigga takes the second verse namsayin. Ayo son sounds like he jus learned to rap 3 hours ago b. I aint even sayin he wack...he jus dont sound like he kno how to rap yo. Son kinda be soundin like a high pitched MC Eiht...I fucks wit this joint tho.

Jus 2 grown shirtless niggas on one bike yo...at least son aint ridin on the back of it...

10. Kissin Pink (ft ASAP Ferg) - That hypnotic shit is back yo. This shit jus sounds like drugs son. I mean a lot of these joints be havin that Houston influence namsayin. Niggas is talkin bout all that purple drank shit n be havin that chopped n screwed feel...so its mad obvious that thats what son be vibin off of on his free time...but this shit got that boom bap feel too. Shit kinda sounds like a 90s joint...but futuristic at the same time nahmean. It aint my favorite shit or nothin but Tone definitely aint mad at it son.

11. Houston Old Head - This is jus even more of that laid back g. Ayo personally I was thinkin that son coulda used a more uptempo type joint by this point jus to switch shit up a little...but that aint even the problem son. I swear this shit sounds like Medium Sean doin a Kanye impersonation yo. I jus kept waitin for son to say "Oh thats yo GIRL? I imaginary fucked yo GIRL? Boi? I do it."...word...I aint really feelin this shit like that b.

12. Acid Drip - Aight so you could probably guess that shit was gon be some more drugged out shit by that song title. I aint mad...but this shit too laid back for me again son. I mean its cool...jus not my type a shit. He dont need to start gettin his Bussa Bus on or nothin...but shit jus went from slow to slower to fuck it Imma throw the shit in neutral n if the muthafucka wanna keep rollin it can son...Its aight tho. I jus dont feel nothin from it nahmean.

13. Leaf (ft Main Attrakionz) - Now this some shit I jus straight up fucks wit b. This still that slow n laid back shit but theres some muscle on this joint son. My dude sharin how a lot of muthafuckas feel when he says he "sick of all these hipsters" too. Son also acknowledgin how niggas say he sound like Yeezy n Wiz on this shit...which aint even really how he sound on 90% of these joints...but its whatever nahmean. I swear I heard that homo ass Wiz laugh in the background durin the hook tho. The other niggas aint really doin nothin too crazy lyrically... but Rocky came wit that good shit namsayin. This shit got a couple rewinds from the god already b.

14. Roll One Up - Ayo maybe the last thing the world needed was another song bout rollin weed...but this shit still ill son. There aint really nothin else that needs to be said bout this shit. The beat is some fly shit n son does his thing far as the rhymes go. Sometimes thats all you need par. I definitely fucks wit it.

15. Demons - DRUGS. Cant believe this nigga jus said "Oh thats yo girl huh? Well I jus hit it" like that tho. Now a nigga gotta eat his own words. Damn son. Real talk tho...I love this joint yo. The hooks ill n the beat got some serious mood to it par. This shit sound like the credits rollin on a niggas life son. Might be my favorite shit on the mixtape.

16. Out Of This World - Think this is a bonus track...but this a fly ass joint to close the shit out to b. Probably the livest shit on the whole muthafucka n this shits still easy like Sunday morning namsayin. But now son jus namedroppin all the dudes he feel like niggas been comparin him to. I aint really mad at son for rockin like all his influences do tho. He still got his own style anyways yo. The Big Beat drums kinda keep this shit grimy too. I dig it yo.

Im sayin tho son...

This shit aint what I would call a straight classic namsayin. Also son aint like the nicest nigga to ever touch the mic or nothin...but this whole joint jus been mad consistent namsayin. Also it really dont sound like nothin else out there yo. Like that boy Spitta kinda be touchin on the exact same topics pretty much but his shit dont sound nothin like Rockys shit n vice versa namsayin. The beats is mellow n laid back but they got some grittiness to em nahmean. I dont even think they mixed this shit down son. Word is bond it sounds like it was recorded in a crackhouse bathroom on a cellphone yo. I think I even heard a toilet flush durin this muthafucka par. But yo...straight up...I fucks wit this shit son. Niggas dont gotta be doin no verbal gymnastics on a joint for it to be hot namsayin. The beats is on point n there really aint no songs that I be feelin like I jus gotta skip son. Ayo the god gon give this shit 4 Zeus Slaps outta 5 nahmean. Word.

Aight peace.

Ayo one more thing yall....

The god cant really do no reviews for ALL the shit that he really wanna...but this one joint yall need to go support. My dude Gangsta Gibbs is still hitin niggas over the head wit that good shit namsayin. Son dropped his latest joint last week n he kept it all the way street yo. This that shit for niggas who slap box wit they moms out on the corner son. This shit for muthafuckas who snack on bullets n eat the bark off trees when they hungry nahmean. This joint for niggas who do push-ups on broken glass n punch sidewalks when they happy namsayin. This the type a shit that gon put hair on the chest of a infant son. This joint for broads who be carryin razor blades under they tongue when they go to the mall yo. This the type of shit that make a nigga slap a muthafucka thru 3 layers of concrete for makin eye contact b. This shit gon make you wanna throw niggas off balconies. I approves of this joint mightily son. Theres a lot of shit that either ya boy dont got time to speak on or it jus dont make sense for me to speak on....but I jus hadda salute the homie for this one yo. Word.

CLICK THIS SHIT

Big Ghost presents: The Ambition Review....

2011-10-29T09:29:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy Big Ghost aka Thor Molecules aka Phantom Raviolis aka the Hands of Zeus...better known as the inventor of the slap namsayin. Word...I aint gon lie n pretend like the god is a fan of this niggas music or nothin b...but that dont mean I aint gon give the muthafucka a fair chance n shit. I aint gon front on the niggas art jus cos he a arrogant dude. Son declared his shit a classic already b. So rite there he already lowered the expectations for the god namsayin. Imma actually be expectin this shit to be wack as fuck. Cos any nigga thats gon suck his own dick like that gotta be tryna compensate for his shit bein weak nahmean. So if this shit even halfway decent he gon already be shockin me par. Lets get into this shit tho.

Son....

1. Don't Hold Your Applause - Aight son...its 6 seconds into this muthafuckin album n son already distress croonin on some la la la bullshit. Either this shit bout to be Sideline Story all over again...n son plannin to serenade his way thru 15 hooks or he jus gettin that shit out the way from the jump namsayin. He spittin some decent shit on this joint...but he also sayin some flamboyant shit here n there. Son also said "GQ men of the year, Cudi, Drizzy n Me". That was '09 tho b. They called them the "Gangster Killers of The Year" in that issue son....which Im thinkin was sposed to be a joke or sumthin my dude. N when they actually did start puttin rap niggas on the cover for that shit the next year...they aint honor Cudi n Wale yo. They only showed love to the rap Tyler Perry that year son....lets jus keep it real here. Speakin of Young Eeyore tho...its like son was possessed by the ghost of Jermaine Cole on this hook b. Anyways yo...I aint sayin its wack but the god probably wont be listenin to this shit ever again son.

2. Double M Genius - I guess son is on his humble shit b. Nigga said "Wale" like 87 times on this muthafucka too yo. The beat on this joint is like some low budget J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League shit son. I aint sayin its wack but lets jus say that Ricky Rozay probably passed on this shit n "saved it" for the homie Folarin nahmean. The hook is some bullshit tho. I dont kno who singin that shit but the nigga sound like a transvestite son. I probably wont listen to this shit ever again neither b...but I aint really mad at it like that namsayin.

3. Miami Nights - I think most of yall done heard this shit by now...n this was never like my favorite shit or nothin....but its aight. The beat sound kinda like some 80s cruise ship entertainment type shit....so I be picturin old white people startin conga lines to some shit like this in my head yo. The Bawse drops a couple words of wisdom in the bridge n shit....but no bars or nothin. Real talk tho...I dont really wanna hear this shit ever again par.

4. Legendary - 1.5 seconds into this muthafucka n this shit was already my favorite joint so far b. This beat got some actual hair on its chest son. I aint even kno it was a Toomp joint til I recognized this shit was superior to all the shit I been hearin n checked the credits son. Actually this shit makes me HATE the 3 joints before it even more. The nigga actually spittin forreal on this shit too yo. Its kinda hard to take the "fuck fame, n fuck money" hook serious tho...since the nigga been in full time diva mode for like 2 years now son. But I dig this shit nahmean. Imma probably even dump this joint into a playlist on the iPod my nigga.

5. Lotus Flower Bomb (ft Miguel) - Aight first off yo. Fuck this song title b. This shit dropped a while back n I never even peeped the shit cos the song title sounded like a yoga pose nahmean. Its sounded like some shit the broad in Coldplay might bang vaginas wit Gwyneth Paltrow too yo. But after listenin to this shit I feel like I need to slap box witta minotaur jus to restore some manhood to my senses b. This shit is like havin a waterfall of ovaries comin thru all the windows n doors in ya crib when you listen to it son. Its like audio breast milk. Ayo I understand you gotta gear summa ya shit to the females bruh...but this shit is straight bitchmade son. A dude listens to this shit one too many time n he gon get a period if he aint careful g. I hope I dont hear this shit again for like the rest of my life yo.

6. Chain Music - Aight...straight up....this beat is ferocious my nigga. Son kinda flowin like a muthafucka on this shit too yo. This shit is jus mad ignorant b. Yalls already kno that Zeus Hands fucks wit that ignorant shit heavy tho nahmean. This shit so tuff I almost forgot bout that Lotus Vagina Bomb joint that came before it son.

7. Focused (ft Kid Cudi) - Soon as this shit started...all I could picture was muthafuckas wit glow stick necklaces twirlin ribbons around in they skin tight metallic outfits b. This that 2 dudes in a Mitsubishi Eclipse sharin one dancin white broad shit rite here nahmean. This joint is softer than baby shit. This fool Wale even said "Killin these black heads, my rap is Noxzema" yo. Son jus compared his shit to a face cream my nigga. This shit is jus mad corny son. I mean...I kno theres muthafuckas out there thats gon dig this shit...but Tone probably wont never listen to this shit ever again par.

8. Sabotage (ft Lloyd) - This jus some more hoe shit but it sounds like Hit Em Up compared to the last joint son. That human ovary Lloyd is beltin out the hook on some serious tender nigga shit for this one yo. I guess son gotta do his joints for the females tho. So I can respect that b.

9. White Linen [Coolin] (ft Ne-Yo) - Ok son...I was tryin to chill but I dont kno how this nigga jus gon drop 3 bitchmade ass joints in row like this...but apparently thats what he jus did here yo. All 3 of these muthafuckas is bout to find they way to the recycle bin tho. Cos I aint wastin no precious time hearin this bullshit ever again my dude.

10. Slight Work (ft Medium Sean) Word is bond...the world famous Diplo did this joint nahmean. Unfortunately this shit jus sounds like Swizz Beatz kicked in the door...erased the joint Diplo made n tapped out one of his basic ass dogshit beats...then left THIS shit there for em instead. I feel like Beyonce spose to be upliftin the low self esteem havin broads of the world over this beat son. This shit is jus ass b. Mr Finally Famous need to get the fuckouttahere too yo.

Why the boy Wale rockin a size XS hoodie n a 5-3/8 fitted tho?

11. Ambition (ft. Meek Mill & Rick Ross) Yall mighta heard this shit before. Son got The Ralph Tresvant n Bobby Brown of MMG on this joint (word....Wale definitely the Ricky Bell of that shit). This shit probably the best joint on the whole album son...which kinda makes up for that 4 song streak of tampon music that came before this muthafucka namsayin. Not really tho...cos those joints was like listenin to son drop down n get his eagle on for like 15 minutes. I aint probably gon forgive the nigga for that shit b. But this joint goes hard as fuck son. This shit make you wanna go cop a 8 ball to cook up n start sellin to ya own nephews n nieces on some guerilla pimp dont give a fuck bout nobody type shit nahmean.

12. Illest Bitch - Son wanna be the latest nigga to attempt the "I be empowerin broads by callin em bitches" type song that intelligent females usually dont be feelin...but causes these hoodrats to g'head n start p-poppin at family picnics yo. This joint kinda laid back tho...so it aint really gon get these hookers throwin bows n breakin they nails or nothin like that...but they gon be quotin bars off this shit for months either way yo. Little niggas is gon be dedicatin this joint to they 14 yr old girlfriends n gettin em seeded up to this shit come Valentines Day namsayin. Hoes in the after hours spots is gon be closin they eyes n pointin to the sky when this shit start playin b. Grimey ass broads is gon be pourin out they liquor to this shit. Son even goes into some spoken word bullshit towards the end that I aint really gon get into tho. By the way son...Im grown nahmean....so I dont really be knowin no low self esteem havin teenage broads that shit like this might be useable on...n I dont need no more hoodrats in my life b. So this muthafucka goin into the recycle bin too son.

13. No Days Off - This shit sound kinda like the beat to Biggie's Me & My Bitch...but witta Toomp twist to it....which is basically what this beat is namsayin. But the nigga Folarin aint sayin nothin THAT creative on this muthafucka. The boy jus spittin that usual come up shit that 75% of niggas be spittin bout nahmean. I wasnt mindin this shit til I heard son say some shit like "higher than high school Mariah tunes n fire flutes on fights n hoopers in light shoes". Now Im jus feelin disrespected son. I mean...that probably aint even exactly what the nigga said but Im still feelin disrespected either way yo.... like...nigga thats jus some bullshit.

14. DC or Nothing - This shit starts out wit some bitch nigga oooohin over some emotional ass synths...but then the shit starts pickin up namsayin. I mean....even tho son still jus talkin more of that come up shit I was actually kinda feelin this one yo......til the hook came in. Ayo son...I dont kno who it is...but dude singin this shit sounds like he rocks mad Abercrombie n Fitch shit b. Im sayin like...I can see the tight ass Club Monaco gear n canvas sneakers in my mind when I hear this muthafucka sing b. He sounds like the type a dude who be inventin suspect ass drinks that end wit "tini" when he goes out son. I aint really tryna shit on the nigga...but I bet the dude drives a hatchback tho. This shit aint horrible or nothin....but it definitely aint gettin no itunes play son.

"Thats that nigga who wont gimme back my watch bro...."

15. That Way (Ft. Jeremih & Rick Ross) - Damn yo....the homie Lex Luger did this shit? Ayo the Superfly shit aint nothin new but Lex kinda changed his shit up here b. As far as the vocab...I mean at first you might think its jus another joint aimed at broads...but this one kinda fly nahmean. Rozay did his thing of course. Jeremih croonin some gentle ass shit as usual...but this shit jus works yo. See a lot a yall might think that the god dont like no laid back shit that you can cool out wit a broad to...but I jus dont like when that shit aint done rite son. This shit here is some fly ass smooth shit yo. Anyways son...I fucks wit it.

Ayo listen son.... the biggest mistake a nigga can make when he bout to drop his album is declare that shit a classic b....UNLESS he gon deliver on that shit nahmean. The boy Wale been callin this shit a classic for a minute now son. A couple months ago son asked niggas why he cant jus say his shit is as good as Reasonable Doubt. Im sayin...that shit is cool my dude...but once you open that door you gotta step thru it at some point yo. You start pointin out into the upper deck before the pitch...you better be tryin to knock that shit out the park fam. So yeah...same way that Young Eeyore shouldnta even said the word Illmatic while he was hypin his own coma-fied ass album...the boy Wale shoulda jus kept his mouth shut bout Jay's first born nahmean par. That Hov shit was, is, n gon STAY a classic g. Word is bond son. But if any nigga gon actually say Ambition a classic n mean that shit....I hope that muthafucka gets hit by a asteroid b. Aint like Ambition is wack or nothin son...namsayin you could even say the shit is "good". But son...even tho Reasonable Doubt was mainly jus all joints bout hustlin...there aint no two songs on that muthafucka that covered the exact same ground over again yo. That shit was a journey namsayin. That shit told a story. This shit is jus some half decent joints n a couple bangers mixed in wit a whole lotta average shit. I mean...the boy Wale got like 5 or 6 ballads on this muthafucka b. Tender ass ones too yo. So nah...that shit aint official like that par. Son shoulda compared this shit to Kingdom Come or whatever. When you in the presence of excellence you either bow or you challenge that shit son. For example yo...that nigga Kanye got a big mouth n done talked mad shit...n niggas BEEN hated dude for that shit yo. What makes that nigga unfadeable rite now tho is he keep backin up all his talk namsayin. Niggas HATE to love that boy Yeezy son. Niggas hate THEYSELVES for likin that arrogant muthafuckas joints nahmean. Niggas hate theyselves for knowin the WORDS to that niggas shit too par. But Wale...son need to stick to bowin before greatness namsayin. IF niggas hate Wale its cos he arrogant as fuck n DONT prove niggas wrong nahmean. So nahhh son aint cut out for greatness like that yo...but at least he aint wack. He makes a good addition to Rawse's team. He aint cut out for individual greatness like that tho. He kinda cut out for okayness or goodness namsayin. So he gets that.

This shit gets 3 Zeus Slaps from me tho my nigga. But son got a perfect 5 outta 5 apl.de.ap n Taboo 'Sidekick Salutes' namsayin.

Aight peace.

Aka the niggas in BEP who aint will.i.am or Fergie

Smarten Up Aubs....

2011-10-18T03:22:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup yall...the Hands of Zeus is back in the buildin nahmean. I jus got done smashin these trees in the forests n throwin some boulders into the oceans namsayin. Word is bond. Ayo summa these muthafuckas who be lookin for guidance n miracles from a nigga in these times of turmoil been askin the god his thoughts on these Drake situations namsayin. Now normally yo...I dont really like to step on a niggas toes nahmean...that aint really the Cocaine Biceps way son. I jus follow my path n dont really pay no attention to what these little sweet n low niggas do. But when muthafuckas start crossin the line....like this nigga rite here...ayo words need to be spoke on behalf of niggas who rep that "bein a man" shit namsayin. Like...that aint no shot at homo niggas b. I dont got no problems wit homo niggas nahmean. Im talmbout niggas who jus do wack ass suspect type shit all day n wanna hop back n forth over the fence. Im talmbout niggas who sashay around in a garden of dicks all day while they splash they sweet ass appletinis all over the music industry son. Which gon bring us to this nigga rite here nahmean. Thats rite yo.... the Harvester of Pauses hisself is back to save you broads from yalselves namsayin. You might also kno the nigga as OctobVariesOwn aka the Hugh Grant of rap. Word is bond. The original pastry puff nigga is out there promotin his new album n whatever whatever... you kno how niggas do when they bout to drop they joints....they go on radio n tv...start doin interviews....FOR ELLE MAGAZINE or whatever etc. Anyways tho...Tone jus hadda few thoughts on this shit. These are a couple a the quotes from that next issue OF ELLE MAGAZINE for example nahmean.

On getting hurt by Rihanna

“At the time it hurt, but she didn’t mean to. I’ll never put that on her. I was hurt because I slowly started to realize what it was. I guess I thought it was more. That was the first girl with any fame that paid me any mind. You spend days reading about this person in magazines. All of a sudden you have this number-one song and you’re at some birthday party and there she is. And you’re just some naive kid from Toronto staying in some shitty-ass hotel who got invited to this party on a whim. That’s just how it happened.”

Nigga is you fuckin kiddin me wit this shit? Son jus gon take those "vulnerable bitch" pills out the medicine cabinet n then swallow the whole damn bottle like that yo? You jus gon OD on that pathetic shit son? Ayo you on some damsel shit for this one nahmean. Have some fuckin dignity b.

On being lonely

When you’re on the road and moving city to city, when someone isn’t there at the end of the night, you feel empty. The 15 or 20 seconds after a man reaches his climax is the realest moment he’ll ever have in his life. And if you happen to be with somebody that isn’t someone you want to converse with, you start feeling like, I wish I was just here watching True Blood by myself.”

Where the fuck does this nigga get the nerve to start speakin on the behalfs of all makind like that b? Son there aint one muthafucka on earth worthy of speakin for the whole male population nahmean. N lets say niggas did need a spokesman to represent all the muthafuckas on earth wit dicks....how many dudes you kno would elect this nigga rite here? This nigga talmbout how if the broad who he jus let smash gon turn over n fall asleep after he gives it up to her...that he be feelin used n shit son. Like if she dont wanna enjoy some pillow talk afterwards then she a waste of his time. Son sayin he woulda preferred to jus be watchin vampire shows alone if she jus gon play him like that. Ayo I bet this nigga got little seahorses swimmin around in his bloodstream b. You could probably cut this soft ass nigga open witta Q-tip son.

On his fake Twitter marriage to Nicki Minaj:

I don’t know if we were really pretending. I’d marry Nicki. I think Nicki would be one of the only people that would understand me at the end of all of this and be able to love me.

Again wit all this princess shit yo. What grown ass nigga plays make believe wedding witta broad like that? This nigga sounds like he been layin on his stomach in front of a fireplace on some satin pillows readin Briget Jones novels n emptyin out chocolate boxes while listenin to old Whitney Houston joints. Son jus gon keep takin that "stranded puppy lookin for a new home" approach wit these broads forever. Damn son. Ayo Im pretty sure this nigga is afraid of beer yo. I cant even relate to no shit like this b. You kno when you be waitin in line to buy a coffee n theres a nigga in front of you that orders some haf caf extra whip skinny cinnamon soy latte wit a vanilla shot n a low fat yogurt crumpet on the side type bullshit? THAT nigga can relate to Drake nahmean.

On receiving nude pictures:

If you send them without me asking, it’s like, You’ve done this before. But I’m away a lot. If there’s a woman I’m into, I might want to get a picture from her to handle business myself, as opposed to doing something I might regret.

Ayo I give up son... its like this nigga gargles vagina nectars in the morning to maintain his bitchass ph balance yo.

Then the nigga addressed some shit on the Funk Flex show. When Flex asked him bout the joint he did wit Jada n Wayne...n how Wayne took those shots at Hov on it. He had this to say bout that yo...

“I really just did my verse over the beat, man. I'm not gonna say I didn’t hear the song before it came out. Wayne recently said in an article that I can never feel like I created a monster in Drake because I’m his boss.’ And in every regard that’s a respectable comment. I’m a soldier for Wayne, he put me here, so I just really did what I had to do, which was deliver a verse on a beat and what he does with the song after that is completely up to him.”

Son Had this shit to say bout those shots that Pusha took at his delicate ass on his 'Dont Fuck With Me' joint...

"I listened to it and I just couldn’t pick it out. I couldn’t pick out where I was supposed to be offended. First of all I never really had any interaction with Pusha T so for him to diss me would be purely issues that he’s having within himself. We’ve met but we’ve been just always cordial with each other. I’m a fan of The Clipse. I say it in interviews so I never really had an issue with him but you know it’s a frustrating time for a lot of people right now. I get it, so if it was directed at me just make it a lil’ more direct next time. You know, I’m up for whatever, man. I didn’t take offense to it, though.”

Ok...first off b...the nigga is rhymin on YOUR beat son. Thats 1) nahmean.....thats a pretty obvious one too yo. 2) That man said "The swag dont match the sweaters"....

Stop playin dumb b...

Basically that nigga Push coulda said "Drake Drake Drake Drake Drake" at the end of the song n this nigga would still be like..."naww...not sure he talmbout yours truly awwwww". Ayo its like this nigga is allergic to havin male traits b. This dude got tumbleweeds rollin round in that area in the muthafuckin human brain where you spose to have dignity cells at yo. Ayo Im done par. See you when the Take Care joint drops.

Aight peace.

"I want your Hershey's Kisses, I want your Snickers Bar........."

Big Ghost's thoughts on the BET Cyphers

2011-10-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Thor Molecules aka Cocaine Biceps aka Phantom Raviolis nahmean. Word is bond. Otherwise known as the Inventor of the Slap. Imma break down the stats for yall mathematical niggas tho....Average fucks given per hour = 0 namsayin. Come holla at Tone if you need somebody to draw yalls the diagrams namsayin. Word yo...lets get into this shit. As yall kno...the BET Cyphers is basically the only part of the shows worth watchin nahmean. So...due to popular demand...the god gon share a couple a his thoughts on that shit son. Word. The shit went sumthin like this...

Indie Meets Mainstream

Big K.R.I.T. - Son Krit is dope...but Im pretty sure ey'body was hopin for son to do a little better. He wasnt wack or nothin...shit jus wasnt that special (6.5)

Tech N9ne - Imma be honest...I dont really fuck wit sons music like that...n when I seen the nigga rockin a polo witta a necktie it jus made feel like son dont got no decorum. I aint even understand what the nigga was really sayin to be honest yo. But I kno he got some shit. (6.5)

Machine Gun Kelly - This snow nigga kinda caught me off guard cos I aint really expect much from him nahmean...even when the shit wrapped n I seen son had on some tight red pants it aint make no difference to me yo. Son was definitely aight (7)

Kendrick Lamar - Ok...now I been sayin that my dude is the future for a minute now b. But the little homie seemed kinda uncomfortable...n he aint really get in his zone like how we kno he could. So nah... he aint murder the shit the way I thought he would...but he still managed to disrespect the beat a couple times (7.5)

B.o.B. - Im not really a fan of this daisy caressin nigga like that son. Like I dont hate his ass or nothin but I definitely dont fuck wit his music or nothin b. Which is why this shit surprised me. Son was in control the whole time n managed to bring some energy to this shit (7.5)

Uncut Cypher

Reek Da Villain - I aint really that familiar wit dude. I only heard this nigga spit like one other time ever nahmean. He wasnt sayin no mindblowin shit...but son can flow. But all that "lyrical scientist...leavin mics wit psoriasis" shit is like some old Keith Murray bullshit. Its 2011 son. Cmon b. (6.5)

2chainz - Sons shit started out corny as fuck wit shit like "If this was New Edition I'd be Bobby Brown" n rhymin "funeral" wit "hula hoop" n whatever...but shit picked up n the nigga actually kinda got busy yo. (7)

Busta Rhymes - Son brought that vet swagger. He mighta been cheesin like a muthafucka at the start n standin like he was bout to ask Don Corleone for a favor...but son got serious real soon after that. My dude said some fly shit nahmean. Son flexin his clout too cos they let the nigga spit like 40 bars b (8.5)

Ludacris - Luda started his shit by tellin Preemo to slow the beat down so we could understand "EVERY WORD"...then son proceeded to spit his struggle bars all the way thru that shit. Nigga hit us wit corny punchline after corny punchline yo..."Need more Jaguars than Jacksonville"? "I got it MAID like Arnold Schwarzenneger...get it?" Nah b....shit was corny LIKE CORN WIT THE 5TH LETTER (get it?) Nevermind...have a seat yo. (5.5)

Survival of The Illest

Rage - This shit jus reminded me that broads actually could rap at one time b. Wasnt nothin special...but it was a whole lot better than the Nicki, KREAYSHAWN n Tyga shit that we stuck wit these days yo (6.5)

Blind Fury - Son looked like he was 75 years old....so I was kinda surprised that the muthafucka could spit. Turns out he jus blind. They coulda stopped movin the cameras on this nigga tho...like he spose to kno where to look. (7)

Dom Kennedy - Now THIS nigga had the nerve to start his shit off wit "Even tho I can't see me...I know I look good rite now on ya tv" Damn yo....no regard for the nigga that jus went before him AT ALL my dude. Wasnt nothin incredible... but Dom did his thing (6.5)

Skillz - This nigga aint switched up his flow once in like 16 years b. He got corny punchlines galore son. GALORE yo. They not even jus bad...they the kind that make you feel uncomfortable..like you feel embarassed n you aint even the one sayin all that wack shit. Nigga even brought along props. Like he been preparin for that shit for the last 3 months. Nah this cocky ass nigga seriously need to get the fuck outta here already. (4.5)

Maybach Music Group

Wale - At least he woke up for this one. I think one year son looked like they jus snatched him up from a nap. Wasnt some shit that would change anybodys life or nothin but he sorta went in nahmean. (7)

Pill - Meek seemed to kno like ALLthe words to this shit son. I mean...it was cool but again the shit wasnt nothin special. (6.5)

Stalley - Aka the most ridiculous ass beard attached to a human face on earth yo. Shit lookin like a black cloud of fungus...son wasnt even rhymin half his shit but he still had some aight bars I guess yo. (6.5)

Meek Mill - Usually I jus be thinkin son is kinda ass...but when his voice aint hittin high notes he aight...Seemed like ey'body in the room wit him knew the words to that shit yo. (6.5)

Rick Ross - Rozay was rockin a satin outfit n kept that shit mad ignorant. Lyrically tho...he kept the ignorance to a minimum namsayin. Son said "Nice ball cap" to Wale....but I think dude forgot to put one on before the shit started.. But anyways yo...the chubby nigga aint never droppin the ball when it comes to mic presence neither. Son went in. (7.5)

International Flow

Estelle - I dont think ma was there to really spit so Imma jus leave this one alone.

Nitty Scott - Kinda corny n the flow was mad oldschool b...She even started that shit wit "kick it like kung-fu" n then spit "droppin bombs like Saddam"...Damn ma...I think Ice Cube said that shit in like '93. I thought the Luda shit was ass... (4.5)

LaCrae - This dude seemed hungrier than the other new niggas...even tho son dressed like he jus escaped from the movie Juice n transported hisself to the future. His shit was mad short n to the point tho. (7.5)

Saprano - Tone dont realy speak any France language... but this nigga could obviously spit b. Plus he had the highlight for this session wit that Bawse line. (7.5)

Estelle - Turns out that ma was there to spit afterall yo. Her shit was aight. I was more impressed that she barely had to open her mouth for the words to come out tho. I dig when broads got British accents tho g...so I aint mind this too much. (6)

Chris Brown n Friends Cypher (aka the Struggle Session)

Ace Hood - Aight...do not start your bars off witta moment of silence for the beat if you aint gon even barely injure that muthafucka son. Whatever tho. Shit was aight son. (7)

Kevin McCall - Ayo whats wit these played out punchlines g? Did this nigga really take it back to "Jeffrey Dahmer" yo? But son..."flow sicker than HIV" tho? Forreal? (6.5)

Tyga - JUS GET THIS CORNY NIGGA THE FUCK OUTTA HERE SON (5)

Breezy - Ayo my nigga...Justin Bieber murdered you on ya own shit. But real talk....you kno theres sumthin wrong when Breezy walks away wit the most memorable shit in the cypher session. Son is a wack ass human being...but he did his thing here son...I aint gon lie. (7)

Shady 2.0 (aka the only shit that really mattered...)

Yelawolf - When the weakest link in the crew is a muthafucka that still spits better than 90% of niggas in rap...you kno you got a serious roster my nigga. Son jus gettin this session started for his mans n he already put holes in the beat nahmean. (8)

Joe Budden - Budden took the laid back approach on this one...but even when son is jus ridin in cruise control he still slaps the beat around like it aint even a problem for him. He starts goin harder in the second half tho...which is the shit I preferred yo. (8.5)

Crooked I - Son came for blood. He had the beat in a headlock for pretty much his whole verse yo. "Before you die you should do the Jada n leave a Will"...nice one b. Crook blacked out on this shit. (9)

Joell Ortiz - Wasnt crazy bout sons punchlines...n he had that one corny reference to old ass shit like Eddie Murphy n prostitutes or whatever. But son kept his part entertainin nahmean. Plus his shit was jokes. (8)

Royce Da 5'9" - "Hi Rihanna"...you already kno. This is emceeing son. Not even his best shit n he still tore the beat in half yo. If only Em wasnt bout to go in... (9.5)

Eminem - Theres two versions of Em...the one that kinda whines bout shit too much n be soundin like a damn drama queen on his joints namsayin....n then theres that beast ass muthafucka that straight up eats beats n spits out the bones...the one that breathes fire on mics n causes niggas to give up on rap n go get jobs at Target. The dude who murders Jay-Z on his own shit. That snow nigga who jus so happen to rhyme wit the sharpest flow in the history of rap. That dude. Imma tell you like this par...the drama queen aint show up to this shit yo. At all son. The thing is tho....ALL these niggas musta known son was gon be takin part n they was still jus sleepwalkin thru they shit anyways. Ayo if Im participatin in this shit n they tell me "oh yeah...by the way son....Marshall Mathers is gon be doin this shit too" Imma lose sleep perfectin my shit b. Namsayin Im not comin to the BET studios wit that Skillz bullshit son. Word is bond. Imma be hungry. So lord...explain to me how the muthafucka wit the most successful career, the most doe, n the most respect came thru n had the most hunger STILL. Thats what Im talmbout son. (10)

Shout outs to the whole Shady team... See these dudes kno how to end they verses on a high note too...not on some slip out the door shit. But on some AIGHT IM GOIN NOW *door slam* shit. Word.

Aight peace

EXCLUSIVE: The unreleased Cole World joint....

2011-10-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Cocaine Biceps aka Zeus Hands namsayin. Word is bond. Ayo this shit is another rare exclusive for yalls nahmean. Now that me n the J Cole fans who got offended by how yours truly felt bout his joint done broke bread...the god jus wanted to offer this as a gesture of his thanks n shit yo. Yall probably noticed that there wasn't mad features on that Sideline Story joint....aka Lolmatic....but this is the song that got left off the album apparently yo. This shit aint had no name when it found its way into my hands tho son...n there aint no hook on this shit neither so I mma jus call this shit Mongolian Panthers yo. Hopefully yalls is feelin this shit. Word.

Aight peace.

BIG GHOST CHRONICLES PRESENTS

A WORLD EXCLUSIVE

MONGOLIAN PANTHERS

Jadakiss

Ayo the grips is all rubber, but the guns is metal, jack
The clips stay full, so if I whip you ya head'll crack
If the rap money stops, yall know how we thuggin it
I still got the scales, the cookware, n the oven mitts

Pockets is still fat, so you ain't gotta lend a coin
I pull up in that Jag truck the color of tenderloin
Niggas hatin Kiss, but I don't mean ta startle kids
when I come thru in that 'Rari the same color as cartilage

Montega Jada, in the streets I'm a warlord
I keep 900 bricks in the ceilings n floorboards
Niggas might hear that, n try to come rob the crib
Next they'll be sayin's "damn, I think he just shot my ribs"

If Kiss catches a body, I aint sayin it's positive
But I'ma hop a plane n lay low where Shabba lives
Be on that G5 before the D's know who to warn,
And tell these flight attendants that we bout to shoot a porn

Let em gimme top while they still in they uniforms
Afterwards, I have some baked dolphin and unicorns
Its that nigga Montega, no homo or lip balm
My life is like a movie, yall niggas live sitcoms

Pull up in that 'Kunta Kinte wrist shackles gray' Jag
With the stove on my waist, n I don't mean Maytag
Roosters in the luggage, not the kind that'll cockadoodle
Then I jump in a helicopter the color of pasta noodles

Aheeaaaaaaaaaa!

Pusha

Yuuuuuchhhkk

We kiss the cheeks of the coke czars........
They know our names... send us birthday giftssss n postcards
Our kids plaaay, our wives exchange pleasantries...
We go to dinner, the wine aloooone is eleven Gs

Nigga...I ain't imPRESSED with the present breeds...
Thats why I GUESSsss I only compete with dead emcees
No longer livin...never forget the influence
Surrounded by drug lords and other crime constituents

Pussssh...the ohh-eleven Don Vito...
But I NEVER hand the business down to these conchitos
We move weight from Montana to Montego
Finish what we start...we don't live by Lebron's credo

Yuuuuuchhhk...bitches sayin dude's vain
What you ex-PECT when a G in the pocket's loose change?
80 karats on one finger, thats my moooood ring
Money's my bitch...I ain't lookin for a new fling

......Pull the doors up on that Aventador
Hoes we pass on are the sames ones you cats would die for
What yall be callin dimes, we don't even bat an eye for
Your million dollar chain's a fraction of the one that what i wore

Test us? Naaah.....only the best could
My hoes rock Kate Spade...n Vivienne Westwood
.....Bolivian Express goods....
get dropped off on my door STEP...then swept thru to the next hood.

PUSSSHHH!

Fabolous

Niggas think they seein F-A-B?
Then I guess they free...

to come test me like the S-A-Ts

We in the V wit the fresh AC

...puffin H-A-Z

We the pimps, not the F-A-Gs

Don't make me let the AK squeeze

all in ya H-A-Ts

I'm the nigga takin 8 days sprees

to tropical islands with trees where bananas hang

Spittin at these hoes wit thug talk n a gang a slang

Homie, you got bitches that look like orangutangs

While I be pullin southern belle hoes n Savannah thangs

I know ya man right here's a burden, so fuck it, sis

The Maybey outside got curtains n buckets, miss

Diamonds in my chain thats the size of McNuggets, bitch

We the kinda niggas you don't bring the ruckus wit

Plus, you ready know the D's watch us, believe this

They aint lettin me go wit 3 watches on each wrist

In the holding cell, we puff cubans n eat fish

An hour til I'm bailed n chuck a deuce from a G6

The Benz got 84" rims with the deep dish

Spend on ya lady more, so you know who she keeps with

Niggas think I'm vain cos my material objects

N I roll around with they dames up in my steering wheel cockpits

I'ma bury ya'll lames cos I'm clearly obnoxious

N the pieces on my chain's the size of cereal boxes

Drake

Awwwhhng

Drizzy

Ackhk............a red plus a blue makes a purple.....
Two wrongs don't make a right, but two broken hearts make a circle
Can a hamster find mafuckin love witta gerbil?
Do two cancers make a virgo? Think I needed to find out...ergo...

I carry errything on my own back.................turtle
Carry my own baggage with me.....what a fuckin purseload
I been airin out my laudry n I'm still just on the first load
It's the bane of my existence, mahfucka..........Kurt Co

Shoutouts to my stylists Kyle, Frankie n Gilberto
My heart is like my stage, nigga....full - dress - rehearsals
T-O show a nigga hate sometimes, it's hurtful
T-Vo Degrassi, mahfuckas, no commercials

Boy I'm poured up, I'm just swirling ma own merlot
Drank so much of that shit boy, I think I need a girdle
But noooooooooooo, don't make me put ya name in my journal
Cos I be catchin BAWDIES like a robin in a wormhole

They said that Aubs was Aubsolete
Aubviously, they was wrong
Cos the Aubstacles they tryna put before me only made me strong
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

You don't want no beef with Aubs, vegan
Pussay niggas comin at me, young Aubstetrician
Boy....consider that ma fuckin Aubservations
Reppin for mah family's my only Aub-li-gay-shunnnnnn ooooooooohhhhhhhh

J Cole

Cole........World.....

Straight out the Ville...Niggas sayin...
"You da man now Cole, now how dat feel?" ....I'ma tell y'all the deal
I got up OFF my mama's sofa...n came to the home of Biggie n Hova
The homies tol' me, Cole, you ain't gon make it, we tol'yuh

Years later, them same niggas sayin, "you done blown up!"
Guess what go around come around like a DOUGH-NUT
Guess I'm like a sandwhich, mahfucka I got COLD CUTS
MAN, I came to this city with only FO'Bucks....but SO WHAT

Them same niggas callin like "Cole, we beg ya pardon"
Musta thought my shit was over, but bitch, I was only fartin
Matter fact, I'm stilll eatin that cabbage straight from my garden
Niggas say they spittin, well I guess I must be barfin

Mahfucka, I ain't just spittin, nigga, I'm pukin
N I'ma be poopin while these niggas is only tootin
Nigga, I wrote this at my crib while watchin Juice n,
sippin on some juice n, eatin lotsa fruits n

Veg-ta-boles, ya'lls ain't fresh as Cole's
Might eat a bean burrito like I was from Mex-i-co
And boy, I ain't ashamed to tell you that I shed my tears
Cuz while I was doin that, I guess I shed my fears

Now these bitches become ladies, that don't mean they aint bitchin
Cole World, muthafucka, no jackets, scarfs, or mittens
No furnaces, no fireplaces, or campfires forever
No snuggies, no blankets, n sorry Drizzy, no sweaters (Drake: Awww)

(J Cole singing)

Rush, rush...
Hurry, hurry lover, come to me
Rush, rush
I wanna see, I wanna see ya get free with meee-eeeeee
Rush, rush
I can feel it, I can feel it all through meeeee
Rush, rush...
Oooooooooh what you do to me

PSA (P-Tone's Special Advice)

2011-10-10T05:13:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy Thor Molecules aka Phantom Raviolis aka the Hands of Zeus back in the buildin nahmean. Ayo the god wanna say thank you to ey'body who been supportin the movement namsayin. I appreciates all that shit yo. To anybody that dont like what I do tho...ayo Imma share a technique I learned while I was growin up out in the wilderness after I was sent down the river in a basket n found by the wives of pharaohs n raised by gladiators namsayin....first I jus take all the fucks I got rite...n I roll em up in my hands nahmean...n I throw em out the window yo. Then when somebody tells me some shit that they expect me to care bout I jus tell em I aint got no fucks left to give b. Niggas can cry they oceans of tears n sob like some babies over some shit or they can grow a dick n learn to be men namsayin. Yall broads gotta pardon a nigga while I address these soft niggas one time tho. Cos they the ones doin the most weepin namsayin. Yall bitch niggas go on n pour yallselves a glass of Riuniti on ice or whatever it is yall muthafuckas be drinkin n let a nigga speak yo. Jus kick ya little Reebok Easytones up turn down that Mac Miller shit yalls got squirtin outta ya yellow iPod docks n listen to what the god gotta say for a minute yo.

I done gave yall niggas jewels already son. I let yall niggas kno the difference between bein a hater n jus bein a muthafucka who dont get his strings pulled on some Pinocchio shit nahmean. But yall niggas stay rollerbladin ya asses into the comments section n into a niggas mentions on Twitter anyways. Yalls still wake up.... get outta bed...n shake the rose pedals off of ya backs n shit...then go straight to yall laptops or phones without brushin the burnt dogshit breath outta ya mouths n start ya little weepin sprees for the day. Yalls muthafuckas is so worried that some random dude on the internets is gon be NOT LIKIN the wack ass nigga whose nuts you been velcroed to for the last 3 years that yall start forgettin to eat or shower or any other normal ass shit...n jus start spendin hours defendin some bum ass rapper who aint gon be round longer than 5 years like he ya close relative b. Nigga go bang ya head against the toilet bowl n try to see if some dignity falls out. Ayo I hate a groupie ass nigga b. Word is bond son. I jus hate these dick ridin ass niggas wit they little saddles n cowboy hats who be lookin for the nex bullshit ass rapper to straddle n have dreams all day n night bout. Niggas sittin there twirlin they hair n poppin they bubble gums to some nigga whose musics softer than the flannel pajamas that Drake sews for his cats son. Ayo son you kno my shit is official when I speak it nahmean. The god be speakin armor plated words son. My shit got on gladiator armor when I say it namsayin. You niggas stay throwin leg warmers n unitards on all the words you speak tho nahmean. Ya words is fetherweight yo. I dont respect how yall be movin b. How Im gon take you niggas serious when you approachin me on some emotional shit llike that son? Ayo stay out my face wit that shit fam. Step yall thread counts up. If Tone dont like the wack ass shit you like it dont mean one of us is wrong or one of us is rite namsayin....it jus means you like some wack shit son. You niggas probably rock Zohan shorts n got ya nipples pierced. I dont like that pierced nipple rap b. I dont respect that shit yo. You little niggas jus wanna rap bout makin it big someday n bein famous....fuckouttahere wit that ho shit son.

Ayo niggas is comin into the game on some comparin theyselves to legends shit n then cant live up to the hype...n thats somebody else fault b? Emotional ass niggas sayin ayo Tone how you gon shit on Cole World like that son? Yall stans is tryna act like son never rapped the words "Cole, a little birdie told me on the low you got an Illmatic" from the perspective of a nigga who was waitin to hear his joint yo. N when son dropped Sideline Story yall put on ya little Stanphones n heard that shit thru a filter that removed all the flaws for you namsayin. So you aint heard what I heard b. Son I was one of those niggas that believed this nigga was the truth at one time yo. When I heard The Come Up n The Warm Up mixtapes I thought the little nigga mighta had some fire in him par. I aint buy into that bullshit bout him bein the nex Nas tho...cos truthfully the muthafuckas sayin that shit was either hyped up off of bullshit or like 3 days old when Nas had dropped Illmatic son. Matter fact a lotta yall 90s babies was still drinkin from sippy cups when Nas dropped STILLMATIC...so what yall kno bout Nas anyways yo? I aint a hater son...I jus aint a sucker. Namsayin. Yall keep lowerin the bar for these niggas n they gon keep givin you mediocre shit son. Im from the era where classics was droppin on Tuesdays all year b. Niggas was givin 4-1/2 mics to Ready To Die, The Chronic n Cuban Linx yo...niggas gave Doggystyle, ATLiens n Reasonable Doubt 4 mics son...muthafuckas was spoiled b. You think we overlookin some classics today tho? You think niggas is gon be lookin back on Rollin Papers n Asleep In The Bread Aisle someday n thinkin hmmmmm maybe these shits was classics afterall yo? Kanye might be the only nigga droppin classic joints for niggas these days son. Also that nigga Ricky Rozay might be a fat lyin ass nigga but he makes hot albums yo. Lotta mixtape niggas is puttin in work too...but wheres the big name artists wit they names at the top of the marquees who aint named Jay-Z or aint soft as fuck?

Ayo ey'body got soft bellies now son. You think a DMX gon fall outta the sky in this day n age son? Nah we still got that swamp roach Swizz Beatz tho. But even if he wasnt survivin strictly off of crack sandwiches these days...these little niggas dont want none of that grimy shit X was bout in the 90s son. Nah...niggas want that tossed salad rap. Niggas want that grindin on the couch wit clothes on rap. That hardcore shit is dead son. Niggas want minivan rap. Niggas want some shit thats gon make a house full of dudes bring out the Twister mat son. Ayo I cant fuck wit none a that shit b. Son I dont be goin to the pantry for my hip hop namsayin. I might respect the cupboards but I mainly fucks wit joints that come from the fridge son. Yall kno the time. If you dont know what the fuck Im talmbout yalls need to go read my What Is Hate? joint. Cos the shit is mad real out here still son. Im tryin to expand yalls musical diets yo.

Im sayin like...if a nigga fails to deliver...reject that shit b. But you can turn ya attention to some shit thats worthy yo. Like Game dropped a dud wit The RED Album...but why dont yalls go peep the Jay Rock Follow Me Home joint instead yo? Son dropped the real RED Album anyways b. Yall stannin ass muthafuckas dont gotta try n make that bullshit Game dropped into a hot album if it really wasnt...jus move on nigga. If these hyped up niggas fail you go cop you some Sean Price joints instead son. Go buy some Skyzoo shit. Go listen to some Freddie Gibbs or some KRIT. Theres still other dope shit out there b. Same go for any other joint you think a nigga HATIN on. Get wise to this shit son.

Aight peace.

The Big Ghost Review for Cole World: The Sideline Story

2011-09-27T11:36:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Volcano Hands aka Phantom Raviolis aka Cocaine Biceps nahmean! Word up the Hands of Zeus is in the buildin. Lotta niggas been askin the god "Ayo Thor Molecules when you gon review that Memphis Cole joint?" Aint like the god was frontin but a nigga been mad busy namsayin so we hadda put that shit on ice while Riggatone handled that other shit nahmean. But Im pretty sure ey'body hadda chance to illegally download that shit by now so lets get this shit poppin b. First off young Eeyore lookin like some nigga jus snatched his balloon animals from him on this cover yo. That shit need to be addressed rite now son. Jermaine lookin like he jus got violated in the showers n he tryin to figure out a way to explain it to his girl. Im sayin yo...is this nigga capable of a facial expression that dont make him look like a victim son?

Cmon Jermaine...you spose to be celebratin the fact that Jiggaman lettin you drop ya album finally yo! Nah he aint takin you on tour wit him n Yeezy but you can still sell some merch on ya own tour baby pa. Niggas can stop askin why a dude who aint got no album is doin a muthafuckin 65 date world tour like he Bono or some shit now yo! Whatever tho son...lets get this shit started b...

1. Intro - Son jus explainin to a couple niggas how he wanna tell the story of the day he got signed...instead he spits a couple bars tho. Lotta dope albums got dope intros...sometimes its skits...sometimes its jus niggas buildin n talkin shit....Amerikkkas Most Wanted, Ready To Die, The Chronic, Illmatic, The Dynnasty, Cuban Linx....Lotta classic joints yo. Word.....this aint like those.

2. Dollar and a Dream III - This beat sounds like Puffy circa Life After Death was in the studio wit his toothpick in his mouth tellin niggas to "put more cinematic on it" while niggas looked at each other shakin they heads n shit namsayin. Word...the little homie Jermaine got his Nashiem Myrick n Carlos Broady on. But instead a spittin some gutter ass tales bout robbin niggas or clappin niggas kids by accident...son jus doin what HE be doin best namsayin. Which is cool nahmean....but this nigga jus gettin his Eeyore on again b. Aint much here that this nigga can tell us that he aint already weeped bout before son. We get it nigga...you was unsigned...n now you signed. Word...dreams really do come true n niggas shouldnta doubted ya ass.... Son always gotta squeeze in AT LEAST one lame bar tho. On this joint its "boy you cant outsmart me....I make you fee like you the shit, but boy you cant out-fart me"

3. Cant Get Enough (ft Trey Songz) - This shit sounds like the nigga hopped in his time machine n copped a beat that Twista aint wanna pay Kanye for in 2003 yo. This muthafucka sound dated as fuck son. I was almost expectin this nigga to start rhymin bout poppin tags n shit. But I aint really mad at this joint. It is what it is yo. Lame bar (that ey'body at his shows gon scream when the music stops n he points the mic at the crowd): "I love when you give me heeeeaaaaad...I hate when you give me headaches"

4. Lights Please - Ayo when this beat started the god was thinkin "Word...... . NOWTHISWHATTHEFUCKUMMTALMBOUT!" Son...a nigga was thinkin the intro to the joint was dope as shit...like this bout to be a problem namsayin. One minute in n this nigga still rhymin over the intro...the beat aint change yet or nothin...cool. Guess the little nigga tryin to make a point...BUT NAH...the hook comes in n the muthafuckin beat still sound like the intro son (by the way yo....you kno how all the hooks Drizzy be croonin sound like he makin em up as he go? Word...it sound kinda like this nigga gettin his Drake on here forreal yo...except son dont be hittin those bitch notes as much) Lame bar: "Laid a nigga down proper like she was recordin tracks"

5. Interlude - This nigga interruptin his album to finish off the story from his intro namsayin....the one niggas probably already forgot bout n shit. Personally I feel like son jus wanted to be on some "oh by the way shit" n mention that he had to pay the price for "drivin dirty" one time....wit no license nahmean. Eventually yo...the law caught up to the little nigga n he went to jail b....for the nite.

6. Sideline Story - This beat kinda cool....feels like some shit where you might be in a nice restaurant eatiin some lobster tails or some scampi or primavera type joint n listenin to some shit like that namsayin... n then some unsigned random nigga grabs the mic n starts spittin his bars or whatever. The hook sounds like some shit Drake mighta left on sons voicemail again. Lame bar: "my hooks can knock Rocky out" Smh...swear Grandmaster Caz probably came up wit that one in like '82 n then crumpled that shit up into a paper ball n came wit some better shit yo.

7. Mr Nice Watch (ft Jay-Z) Oh shit par....its that Jay feature that almost became sons 905th L in 3 years when Hovi aint give this nigga a 16 til the day shit was bout to get mastered yo. Too bad he jumped on a track that sounds like some shit that a Timbaland stan from like Croatia or Qatar or some shit laced in his bedroom son. The hook is pure muthafuckin struggle my nigga...I aint even gon get into it yo. Somebody tell this nigga he dont gotta croon on ALL these joints tho b. Jiggaman gave this nigga one a his "Oh its for Bleek's joint? Aight here ya go" verses. Jay knows when he in danger of gettin renegaded....n that shit wasnt gon be happenin here son. Son couldnta renegaded Lil Boosie on this shit b. Word is bond son. Lame bar: "I rap like its Christmas Eve" ....Cmon Jermaine.

8. Cole World - This beat got more of that same Euro nigga swag that the last joint had. Its cool if niggas wanna get on some international shit n show some variety or some culture b....but this beat kinda ass yo. This sounds like some shit that muthafuckas in Moscow be doin Russian kicks to....like you gotta be splashin 180 proof vodka on slave bitches n rockin a bear skin coat wit the head still on it to really appreciate shit like this son. Then this nigga get on some Borat shit durin the hook when he singin "Got a hundred fifty bitches in the club starin' at me/ How that feel? Very happy!" Yall listen to this shit tho..."How that feel? VERY HAPPY". Son...thats some "no speaky inglish" type shit yo. This joint starts out wit the line "it took me all day to find some inspiration"...ayo maybe you shoulda put it back where you found it son. Cos apparently you found that shit in the back of a gypsy caravan or some shit b. You want lame bars tho? Son be spittin darts like "See my man Nate, asked me if I gained weight/ I said nah, my pockets got fatter, that's all", "I got the type of shit that make a hater say sorry" n "Bitch, I made this in the crib, watchin' Belly/ eatin' peanut butter jelly, what the fuck can niggas tell me?" n all kindsa dogshit bars...take ya pick yo. Its like a wackass bars smorgasbord on this shit b.

9. In The Morning (ft The Kitten Whisperer) - Damn son....you kno the album aint really goin rite for a nigga when you relieved to hear the Drizzy joint nahmean. Still think this beat is dope...which kinda makes sense namsayin since this joint one a the only ones that Jermaine aint produce by hisself. Word is bond yo...this nigga gave all his best beats away to muthafuckas like Kendrick (see HiiiPoWeR) n XV (peep Smallville) namsayin. Kinda forgot that Aubrey sounds like a rapist on this shit tho nahmean. I think the nigga talmbout how he use to fuck horses when he was a kid in his verse or some shit son. N even tho Young Angel droppin bars bout ridin stallions n shootin lotion outta his finger tips... this little nigga Cole aka L-ton John STILL gon find a way to squeeze in the lamest bar on this shit wit "no strings attached, like a cordless phone" Son...when was the last time you seen a phone that DID have a cord yo? You write this verse in 1987 g? Cmon son...its 2011 yo. Cordless phones? That shits like sayin "word...I got these condoms that aint made outta lamb intestines son" or "word....I gotta TV that aint black n white at my crib namsayin" or "word....I like broads who dont got mustaches or dicks yo". Stop it Jermaine...

10. Lost Ones - First off yo...this shit got pretty much the same drumbeat as the Lights Out joint...which really be drivin home that point that son been runnin outta ideas for beats a long ass time now yo. But SON...on a album full of bitchified lotiony hooks...this shit might actually be the the lotioniest n bitchifiedest hook of them all yo... "I aint too proud to tell you that I cry sometimes...I cry sometimes about it...."

Son...is you fuckin serious? Shit gets even more bitched out when the nigga starts spittin from the perspective of a pregnant broad for the whole second verse. "I let you hit it raw muthafucka...now Im pregnant". Word...mad niggas is gon be spittin along to that shit b. Nas dont even get away wit doin shit like that son...

11. Nobody's Perfect (Ft Missy Elliot) - I aint mad at this beat...shit is actually cool for some R&B nigga shit. Plus Missy took it back yo. This still jus some shit for broads that eat ice cream under the covers n keep candy bars in they glove box...but its cool for what it is yo. The little homie Jermaine aint forget to spit some more lame bars on this shit tho. Word yo...the lamest one gotta be "Cole heatin up like that leftover lasagna" ....wow. The hood probably gon love that one yo...."YO YOU HEAR WHAT THIS NIGGA JUS SAID SLIME?? HE HEATIN UP....LIKE LEFTOVER LASAGNA NIGGA!!! DAMN YO!!! REWIND THAT BACK SLIME!!!

12. Never Told - This some Captain Save A Hoe shit son. Theres a skit in the middle bout a young Jermaine learnin how to be a man. Apparently son use to sound like a little broad when he was young tho...couldnt make it to the end of this one b. NO.I.D. gave the nigga a throwaway beat too. Lamest bar: "Cause Wolverine's depressing, don't wanna be your ex-man"

13. Rise And Shine - Son saved his best beat for damn near the end of the album yo. Either way tho...son hooked up a ferocious track to go hammer on son.....before he lames out on the hook n sings some wack shit again. This song is like a dime broad witta 5 inch ortho shoe on b. Too bad son... Dont think that son forgot to spit some wackness on this shit too yo. Lamest bar: "These words Im recordin got me ballin....Jordan".

14. God's Gift - This the joint son was hopin Jay would jump on. Shits definitely better than that Nice Watch eurotrash shit he did end up jumpin on tho. Son referencin Jay n talmbout "on to the blueprint" but Jay was like "Nah". So disrespectful Hovi....Of course son gotta squeeze in another wack ass made up as he go hook torn straight outta the book of Aubrey nahmean. Lamest bars: "Pussy my passion / Man I just can’t help it,I see a cookie, I grab one"

15. Breakdown - The drums by theyselves on the intro sound like some bullshit yo. Shit be soundin cheap as fuck son. Sounds like some shit a niggas moms would tap out while she fuckin witta niggas MPC in his room. Once the music kicks in its aight tho. Rite out the gate yo...son spits "I just shed tears homie and now I aint too proud to admit it"...we get it son. You aint ashamed to cry...stop all that sad face purple donkey shit already par. The song aint horrible...but I dont kno what nigga would end they album witta joint like this one. Lamest bars: "Thought I was brighter than a Polo sweater / No pops.... was like Martin with no Coretta"

Bonus Tracks:

I aint really kno which joints is officially on his shit but these muthafuckas is summa the bonus tracks I got on my version yo....

Workout - The first official single off this shit jus became a bonus track yo. Truth be told...this joint was cool for what it was. The video was another story tho son...that shit looked like son got the director who use to do shit for TLC on they first album b. That shit musta costed Roc Nation like$300 yo. Jay probably drops more on socks than what he givin this nigga for his video budget b. I fucks wit this shit...like it aint my favorite shit or nothin b...but I dont hate it like that. But when son starts gettin his Paula Abdul on its time for the skip button.

Nothing Lasts Forever - More shit for broads who aint got no self esteem n niggas who stay twistin Nuvo caps off n sippin Shirley Temples at the club. Its a cool joint but son spittin some serious snore darts on this one b.

Daddy's Little Girl - The beat cool...in a "nigga who jus learned how to use Reason" kinda way. But the hook so light in the ass that my muthafuckin iPod started floatin round the room while I was playin this shit b. You can put a black coffee in front of the speakers n that shit gon have 5 sugars in it by the end of the song par. This shit softer than chinchilla bellies yo. You could pollinate your flower garden wit this shit b. This niggas dignity tank is on E when it comes to these hooks son...but whatever yo.

Who Dat - Aka the original first single flop....Only good thing I can say bout this shit is he aint really spit any lazy ass bars like he did all over his album yo. He barely gettin his songstress on on this shir too yo. Son shoulda spent more than 4 seconds comin up wit the hook for this muthafucka tho son.

Cheer Up - I dont even kno if this joint is really a bonus track forreal yo...n I aint heard it...but thats a funny ass song title comin from this nigga b.

Thats bout it fam...I aint really mad at this shit...but son was lazy as fuck on this joint b. The beats...the rhymes...all that shit yo. I thought son woulda been savin his best shit for his album my nigga. There aint really a whole lot to make this shit that different from his mixtapes tho son. N word is bond yo...the rap world always been divided between niggas who dont sound wack singin all over they joints (Pac, 50, DMX, Slick Rick, GHOSTFACE etc) n niggas who sound like straight bitches when they do namsayin (Aubrey).....Cole be fallin into that second category yo. What you gon do tho? These beige niggas jus love to croon on they shit b. But yo...I aint mad at this shit like that baby pa. The nigga gettin his feet wet in the game still...its cool...broads gon more or less love this like a fat kid love cake n all that. It jus aint the gods cuppa tea namsayin. Staten niggas be drinkin from golden goblets b. We dont drink no Ovaltines namsayin. We drink broken glass son. Niggas stay eatin the bark off the trees over here par. You talkin to some official titanium beard niggas who rock iron headbands n throw Suzuki jeeps at niggas for steppin on our footwear nahmean. So nah...niggas who got that viking blood dont be really fuckin wit no soft ass shit like this b. But this shit wasnt designed for niggas like Tone yo...I understands that shit b. This shit was designed to tap that insecure broad demographic n shit par. So instead a breakin this muthafuckas wings off Imma jus open the window n let the butterfly go back to the flower box n do his thing namsayin. Let youngin do him I guess yo...

Overall...on some generous shit...Imma give Eeyorematic 2.5 outta 5 Zeus Slaps yo.....or 5 Memphis Bleek durags under the fitted outta 5. Word is bond.

Aight peace.

The 4th Annual 10 Softest Niggas In The Game

2011-09-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Thor Molecules aka Volcano Hands aka Cocaine Biceps namsayin. Ya boy is back in the building once again. Yall already kno what it is son. Its that time a year where we honor the softest muthafuckas in the game...the niggas thats so light in the ass that if you kick them they probably float into outer space namsayin. These the muthafuckas that could jus cut the tip of they fingers to pour syrup on ya pancakes for you. These the niggas we recognizin today son. Word is bond yo. You could scratch these niggas witta cotton ball b. Straight up.

Lessgo...

10. KREAYSHAWN

Oh wait...my bad son....that one aint her...

Aight here she is yo...

This broad coulda been #1 on this list...but she technically female...so I aint really kno how to approach that shit son. I mean...Tone dont really like no brolic ass chicks neither namsayin. Word n I dont need no broad to be confusin me on some Rah Digga shit neither yo. Dont get me wrong tho...this broad is wack as every single fuck known to man.....but I aint sweatin her softness like that nahmean. That aint the problem son. The problems that she been causin that shit to spread like wildfire yo. Theres even niggas in the industry thats gettin drawn into this bullshit nahmean. Word is bond...I mean...it aint no big shock that the emperor of softness hisself...you might kno the nigga as Aubrey....aka The Kitten Whisperer...jus LOVES her shit son. In the meantime that fool Ricky Ross been talkin in interviews bout how he gon put up 50 Gs to "mess up her whole week" namsayin...cos she was makin jokes bout the nigga bein kinda "chubby" n shit like that. I mean I fucks wit that nigga Rozay's music namsayin...but I dont wanna see the nigga gettin baited into bickerin wit some 4 ft tall white broad n talkin like he gon have the bitch executed when ey'body kno that that shit aint gon happen. The gods issues wit this muthafucka go a little deeper than jus her music namsayin. This broad gon open up the floodgates for all types a softassnigganess...mainly from white dudes who rock cornrows n braids or trailer park bitches who seen Set it Off one too many times namsayin. Which gon bring us to...

9. V-Nasty

This that wigger brude who rolls wit KREAYSHAWN....jus in case you aint up on all the wackest fake shit out there namsayin. Aint like I wanna give either a these NIGGAS more shine...but that broad KREAYSHAWN gon be a household name regardless yo. Muthafuckas jus love some wack ass shit...so she gon be famous for a hot ass minute son. But this V-Nasty brude probably gon disappear off the map a lot sooner than that yo. This muthafucka is devoid of talent, looks....talent....or anything else that would bring her dumb ass some success namsayin. Listen to her bullshit ass music if you think Im playin son...

When I hear shit like this I jus be thinkin "Wow...this bitch might actually be retarded yo". If you read the youtube comments you see ratchet ass shit like...

"v'nasty qoesx so hard for a white girl (:"

"Don't need a pass to say nigga. Shut your bitch mouths you wanna have a word to yourselfs to fucking bad NIGGA! Ill say what I want and im white as fuck. and yes Ill say that straight to yo black face NIGGA"

"Omgee VNasty Be Going Hammmm I Dont Car What NOBODY Says Team V-Nasty

Ayo this jus some ignorant music for soft ass ignorant muthafuckas yo. Get this shit the fuck outta here son.

8. MTV RiFF RaFF

Speakin of white dudes wit cornrows n braids....Nah ya eyes aint deceivin you par...If you aint never hearda this cornball ass muthafucka before its probably cos you dont hang out in trailer parks or search "WACKEST SHIT ON EARTH" on google enough namsayin. Son....we was mad at Vanilla Ice back in the 90s yo. This muthafucka is like the T-1000 version of Vanilla Ice my nigga. Newwww.....Improoooooved Vanilla Ice. I quit. I never thought I was gon see a white boy coon this fuckin hard EVER son. This muthafucka musta been injected wit the blood of Soulja Boy in his sleep yo. Son look like he a failed experiment that was designed by the government to spy on niggas in Magnolia Projects n shit....in 1998. The level of wackness this muthafucka capable of could probably make Fubu visors rain from the sky b. This muthafucka could probably cross his arms n blink n have you wearin a G-Unit sweatsuit without you knowin it son. Look at this cracker son...

Not only did this powder coon get a MTV logo tatted on his neck...but he actually got a BET logo n a World Star one to go wit it. On his actual flesh son...FOR. EV. ER. Nah yo...fuck this cracker, fuck his pulse, n fuck his heartbeat....fuck his moms, his kids, his unborn...I dont give a fuck yo. I dont be wishin death upon nobody but this muthafucka need to die son.

Real Bloods rock blue....Soo woooo!

7. Game

This nigga always goin outta his way to make it hard to like him b. Niggas already gave up on tryin to get this muthafucka to stop actin like a damn goupie yo. He gon dickride...whatever I guess. He wanna namedrop still...*shrug*. He wanna throw rocks then hide his hand...hey..what ya gon do rite? Im sayin yo...niggas done FORGAVE this muthafucka for nonstop wack shit b. Word is bond.

I mean...niggas looked the other way when that Change Of Hearts shit footage popped up.

Niggas tried to ignore the fact that son use to rock thongs n strip for doe.

Then the nigga got a butterfly tatted on his damn face....

But somebody musta told the nigga that that shit was mad fruity (SURPRISE NIGGA!)...So he probably got to thinkin "Ayo Imma cover that shit up witta Dodgers logo yo....Dre gon love that shit" But you could still see the butterfly underneath it so son was was like..."Ayo why dont I throw a big ass red star on that too...Dre gon love that shit". Niggas of course gave that shit a pass too yo. So jus to push his luck a little more..the nigga was like.."Hmmm maybe I should start rockin a red mohawk yo....Dre gon love that shit". Niggas STILL tried to ignore that shit b. What more does this nigga want from us yo? All that cryin he done did in interviews...the bullshit beefin...squeezin hisself into the picture...jockin niggas styles...SON. Im sayin tho...this emotional ass nigga need to figure his life out.

6. Brandy's Brother

Ayo Tone does not fuck wit this niggas music one bit son. But apparently he still singin his heart out n tryin to stay relevant yo. This niggas most famous joint is one he did wit Yung Berg....I mean...that shit kinda says it all b. But this nigga got into some kinda squabble wit Fabolous in Vegas a few days ago...before the Mayweather fight. Niggas is sayin he got walloped... meanwhile he sayin he beat Fabs ass down before the nigga went on stage to perform yo. I cant call it cos I wasnt there tho namsayin. All I kno is Brandys brother went on a rampage on the radio n on some video n shit...talmbout he gon send niggas to come rape Fab if he aint apologize by sundown or some shit like that. I dont kno what kinda nigga got rape goons on deck like that...but apparently Brandy related to a nigga who do. Son was basically talkin like he a made nigga tho...jus cos his sister be buyin him mad cars n shit like that. Nigga we get it...ya big sister holdin you down n buyin you all that luxurious shit you cant afford on ya own. Ayo Brandy dont gotta prove nothin else namsayin. She had her run. She good nahmean. But you been doin backstrokes in Lake Mediocre for ya whole career b. Have a seat nigga.

5. Medium Sean

This nigga is a diva son. All this nigga dreams bout is bein famous n havin shiny shit to wear. Thats basically all the nigga talks bout in his songs too. Son that shit is tired yo.......wheels. You been slippin b....eels. I said you slippin b....peels. You sound like a bitch....squeals. Grow up nigga....heels. Niggas dont got time for all that basic ass shit you doin son. You jussa half trick pony yo. Fuckouttahere..........Foxy Brown career.

4. Yung Berg

Ayo the god jus read some shit the other day bout how this nigga done squashed his beef wit Ne-Yo. Lemme repeat that shit for yall muthafuckas one time... I said this nigga jus squashed his beef wit NE-YO son. As in this nigga...

First off...if them two niggas is havin issues wit each other... that aint no beef son. That shit is LAMB. Them two niggas was jus lambin yo. Straight up. Far as what that shit was all bout...I got no fuckin idea son. I dont mean no disrespect to the nigga Ne-Yo...son is what he is. But what more you gon say bout this nigga Berg? Son is a L-caholic my nigga. This niggas been sucklin on the titty of failure for way too long yo. Son aint tryin to pass the torch to the nex nigga at all b. When this nigga sits down in the morning to eat his Alpha-Bits that shit is all L's son. This niggas failure success rate is off the charts nahmean. Sons kinda like the Hov of wack niggas namsayin.

3. Soulja Boy

Aka the young Wally Amos. Not only is this nigga one a the softest creatures in existence...he probably the stupidest muthafucka to ever set foot on earth too. This coon spit his struggle bars on some wack ass joint called "Let's Be Real" a little while back.... n his hoe ass had the nerve to actually say "Fuck the FBI and FUCK ALL THE ARMY TROOPS". Son. "Fuck the FBI"...cool...whatever...but hold up yo. "Fuck all the army troops" b? Like forreal son? Its bad enough that this bojangles ass muthafucka been jugglin chicken drumsticks n watermelons on records for half a damn decade now....but now he wanna get political? This niggas moms mussa fed the muthafucka fried paint chips n dead batteries while he was growin up yo...cos he fuckin beyond stupid yo. Son was definitely an ass birth b.

2.Wiz Khalifa-Rose

Aka Wiz Khagina. This lesbian nigga gotta 4th degree black belt in save-ya-ho namsayin. Son done made that shit a artform yo. Any real nigga can tell that this dude is a straight trick tho. This nigga definitely a "carry a bouquet of roses between his teeth while he climb up the fire escape to the crib of a broad he met 2 hours ago to pay her phone bills n vacuum her living room while she at work" type a nigga b. He a lame who jus happens to smoke some weed n got hisself inked up to cover up the fact that he a clown. This nigga probably knows how to do the Charleston n shit son. Son can probably quote Macbeth n shit b. But he gon act like he was a straight hoodlum his whole life yo. This nigga instagrammed his whole existence son. I need this nigga to fix hisself asap yo. That Amber Rose rescue aint really help nothin tho. Ayo Wiz...why cant you be more like ya brother Spitta?

1. YMCMB

As in ey'body in Young Money that aint Jae Millz, Cory Gunz or Mack Maine...jus to clarify that shit. But the rest a these muthafuckas is like the X-Men of soft ass muthafuckas son. Yall already kno that nigga Drake is the human electric slide b. This the type a cornball ass nigga who pulls up in the McDonalds drive thru to order a smile wit his meals nahmean. When he aint craftin summa the most bitchmade songs known to man he probably spends his time twirlin round in prairies n braiding blades of grass together to make clothes for wild animals n stupid shit like that yo. Nigga probably swings his window shutters open in the morning n has birds n squirrels crawlin up his curtains while he sings songs to them n shit. You might catch that nigga in the forest playin a harp or sumthin namsayin. Son probably got pictures on his walls of miniature babies sittin in fruit bowls n sproutin from gardens n shit like that. That muthafucka mussa got bit by a radioactive butterfly one day namsayin. Word is bond. Ayo son...there aint a number invented by man that could count how many times I felt like slappin the shit outta a nigga for sayin that Nicki Minaj got talent b. All I kno is I need that broad to get 5000% the fuck outta here son. And them Lil Twist n Chuckee muthafuckas is barely outta diapers b. These niggas still use bibs n sippy cups yo. Young Money might be the only label that got a jungle gym in they offices b. Then you got that nigga Tyga...who's jus a straight crumpet muthafucka son. That nigga probably holds his hands over his mouth when he laughs yo. That 27 lb muthafucka look like he crawls round on mountains followin Sam n Frodo on his spare time son. Ayo but somebody explain to me what Gudda Gudda's purpose in life is b. Gudda is the most dead weight nigga in any crew since Meeno was in Harlem World yo. That muthafucka makes City Spud n Murphy Lee seem like Beans n Free. Did this nigga save Weezy's life or some shit b? Speakin of that nigga... That brings us to the gardener of wackness hisself yo...Weezy "Fenomenal" Baby. Ayo son...you was rhymin like a fuckin moron on ya last album b...I cant lie yo. But that shit still had some decent joints on it. So the god aint gon pretend like he bout to stop listenin to ya shit. But you need to drop like 87% of the muthafuckas you been signin to ya label b. I see you still makin wack moves tho...cos you jus signed coon extraordinaire T-Pain. Ayo I give up son. Get these McNiggas the fuck outta here par.

Aight peace.

What is HATE?

2011-09-07T00:02:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup yall its that nigga wit a mountain for a heart n volcanoes for hands nahmean....aka Big Ghost nahmean. Aka Thor Molecules...aka Phantom Raviolis...the nigga who might throw a sofa at you if you get outta line namsayin. Ayo SON....I been hearin niggas whisper in the dark on some peek-a-boo shit nahmean. Niggas is poppin they heads out the ground on some whac-a-mole shit like yo Im spose to be hittin these niggas in the head wit the hammer n shit. I seen niggas talkin wild shit like "yo that nigga Big Ghost a hater b...that nigga whole existence is garbage n he jus tryin to bring niggas down n shit fam". Meaning..."AYO WHY CANT THIS NIGGA JUS LIKE WACK SHIT LIKE WE DO SON?". Word is bond...lemme address yall little duck ass niggas one time...1) The god dont hate nobody b. I mean....dont get me wrong...a nigga definitely would like to slap the shit outta a couple niggas in the game...maybe flip a couple niggas off a rooftop...or or or beat a few niggas down usin a fire hydrant nahmean. Ya boy done thrown a couple niggas down some stairs before even...I done put hands on niggas for doin dumb shit b. The shit happens yo. I BEEN had to stomp niggas on sidewalks like we all have at one point or the other g. Thats human nature yo. I dont mean no harm like that son. It aint like I be wishin niggas kids n wives get shot up at the playground son. What a nigga tryin to say is its easy for love to get misunderstood as hate namsayin. Word is bond. If you love sumthin you might gotta harm it namsayin...n if it comes back to you then its all love son. Thats the golden rule. Niggas is takin shit too personally yo. Word is bond. 2) Fuck yall niggas. Its all love you bitch ass niggas.

Now at the same time...how a nigga spose to jus show love to jus ey'thing son? Thats like sayin you spose to salute ey'body you see when you walk down the street nahmean. Love is a form of power son. How Im gon share power wit all these muthafuckas if I dont respect how they move b? You jus a ho if you do it that way son. I respect the art before the individual nahmean. The same muthafuckas that say they got love for hip hop or for arts PERIOD jus accept the bullshit anyways son. They ALLOW the bullshit to occur yo. But when a nigga that really deserves ya respect walks thru the door how you gon jus shake that dudes hand wit the same hand you used to dap a bunch a wack niggas wit? Cmon yo...see thats where it gets fucked up. Niggas be declarin bullshit ass mixtapes classics. So what you gon call Aquemini, The Chronic or the Purple Tape now that you jus called the new DJ Khaled joint a classic? Classic-er? Niggas dont even choose what kinda snacks or morsels they wanna put in they stomach b. Its like this son... hip hop to me is like the kitchen namsayinn....its where I get my food b. So you got the fridge nahmean....where all that cold shit gets kept fresh namsayin. Thats what I fucks wit b. Lotta these young cats jus gettin they feet wet in the game is fridge niggas par. Them niggas Kendrick n Schoolboy Q...those niggas is in the fridge b. That nigga Action Bronson...he a fridge nigga. Cool Kids, Spitta, Boldy James, Elzhi...those are all fridge niggas to me nahmean. They chillin...they keepin it cold...they keep they shit crispy namsayin.

But then you got these pantry niggas son. That nigga Drake...ayo sorry...no offense to yall Drake lovin muthafuckas...but thats a pantry nigga rite there son. Pantry niggas come from cans n plastic bags namsayin. They like prepackaged snacks nahmean. They room temperature niggas yo. They lukewarm niggas b. You aint gotta keep niggas like that in the fridge cos they aint cold son. They ready to be served bullshit niggas that TECHNICALLY got the same ingredients as the shit you find in the fridge...but these niggas got additives n preservatives yo. Thats the major labels behind em b. They jus some pop ass niggas who got the big labels behind em namsayin. They preserved...they dont need to be cold son. These niggas is Kraft dinners. They Spam. They pork n beans. For example yo...that nigga Wiz is a pack of ramen noodles b. You jus gotta add hot water to that nigga n season his shit n you got ya little 22 cent meal son. But do these niggas bring any substance to the table tho? Hell nah son.

In the end yo...ey'body jus tryin to make it onto the plate b. The plate is where the shit gets ate up by muthafuckas yo. Thats where niggas sit down n absorb what a muthafucka is bringin to the table. Sometimes the cold muthafuckas from the fridge get on n sometimes its the wack niggas from the pantry son. Sometimes its the niggas that come from the cupboards....the niggas you gotta refrigerate after openin. But its almost never the niggas in the freezer son. That aint no disrespect to the freezer niggas tho. Like that nigga Uncle Murda...he got a nice little single out rite now...but he resides in the freezer son. His home is the freezer namsayin. He aint never gon get on b. It jus is what it is son. Only niggas who got actual bodies on they burners be lookin forward to that niggas releases yo. His shits for niggas who rock bubble gooses wit no shirt on underneath in the winter nahmean. It dont matter if he drop a commercial joint...he aint doin nothin else to appeal to these little niggas that want flashy flamboyant ass borderline suspect niggas like Tyga reppin for they culture son. So nah...Uncle Murda aint gon be no household name someday b. Maybe if he had come onto the scene in like '92 when grimy ass niggas was gettin deals left n right yo. But not in this era son. Not in the Spa Rap Era fam. But that dont matter long as niggas get cake somehow. Niggas is jus playin the hand they was dealt namsayin.

That brings us to a whole nother breed of muthafuckas tho...the fast food nigga. The fast food nigga is exactly what you expect yo...he the junk food son. Ayo niggas love junk food b. There aint no nutrition to that shit but niggas love that shit cos its simple n artificially flavored n got all that extra monosodium glutamate type shit in it. It aint bland...n you dont gotta think bout shit neither. There aint no nutrients or vitamins or calcium or none a that shit but its tasty n easy to get namsayin. The Waka Flocka nigga...thats a junk food ass muthafucka son. Him n his nigga OJ Da Juiceman son. The nigga Wayne? Junk food b. Lil B....I dont care how many yall niggas try to convince the god that this nigga is intelligent n here to save hip hop...he a french fry son. Straight up. That nigga is a McNugget at best son. Stop defendin this nigga. If you enjoy that shit thats great yall...but stop tryin to convince other niggas that this muthafucka is pretendin to be stupid so he can sprinkle his little jewels all over ya oatmeals son. I dont HATE em but them OFWGKTALMNOP niggas is junk food too g. Shouts to Frank Ocean tho cos I respect that dudes shit yo. But them other niggas make junk food son. Facts is facts. Soulja Boy...aka Mr Bojangles? Son that nigga is straight deep fried dog shit....nevermind bein junk food yo. Do I fucks wit any junk food personally tho? No doubt son....but it aint my whole muthafuckin diet baby pa. Summa yall livin off a straight deep fried stupidity n then washin it down wit triple thick McIgnorance shakes. That shits gon affect ya health in the end b.....that shit liable to be holdin you back in life son. Muthafuckas who devote 80GB of iPod space to Gucci Mane n friends aint gon be winnin no muthafuckin Pulitzers or Nobel Peace Prizes in the near future b. Jus like broads who kno all the words to Remy Ma's joints aint gon be the ones discoverin the cure for cancer son. This is jus simple mathematics my nigga.

But once again yo....is it hatin? Lemme ask you this yo....does a father HATE his seeds if he feel like he gotta discipline em for some stupid shit they did? Like...does a shark HATE the fish it needs to eat in order to survive out in the oceans son? Do I HATE a muthafucka jus cos I dont want his meals anywhere near my plates g? Nah not necessarily. I jus dont like too much a that bullshit son. I aint got no sweet tooth neither...so I dont like that candy shit. I dont fuck wit none a that fluffy fruity dessert shit PERIOD son. It dont matter if its breakfast or lunch...I dont let these Del Monte fruit cup ass niggas slip into my meal plan b. Niggas is marinatin in syrup for years n then Im spose to pull that shit out the pantry n consume that shit or whatever? Nah...but summa yall niggas jus want sweet shit all day nahmean. Niggas want cake mix muthafuckas like these YMCMB niggas to be they whole diets yo (Shoutout to Cory). I can understand that a lotta yall broads be cravin that sweet shit tho....summa yall also fall for all that back n forth sensitive nigga smoke that these niggas try to blow in yalls direction too. I get that....but shame on yall lycra rockin niggas for lovin that shit too. Seriously yo. Yall should slap yallselves.

Summa that shit from the fridge can be hard to chew tho. Summa yalls aint got teeth thats sharp enough to consume that raw shit. Yall niggas need to boil ya carrots cos you cant chew on nothin that aint soft as fuck. Niggas is all bout that baby food. Im a grown man son....I dont need no baby food yo. Theres a reason why I dont argue wit youngins son...niggas whose facebook statuses in 94 woulda been "Word...bout to go fertilize this egg. Gon miss swimmin in this nutsack tho :'-(" dont got opinions that matter to me like that son. Muthafuckas on twitter whose tweets is like "Yo slime...Clifford the big red dog is a muthafuckin fool LOOooooB!" aint gon change my mind bout nothin when they start stickin up for Tyga n Lil Twist n all these other cake mix ass lesbian niggas yo. Yall niggas go watch ya little Wizards of Waverly Place bullshit n leave the heavy thinkin to muthafuckas thats old enough to see R-rated movies yo. I aint fuckin wit yall. Im gon burn this muthafucka down. iCarly aint got shit on me. You talkin to a Staten Island nigga son. We only drink rain water over here nigga. We eat broken glass n punch holes in the sidewalk first thing in the morning over here son. We dont respect the niggas that you do. The niggas that yall run n hide from be washin niggas cars over here son. Those niggas you scared of run to the store n buy a nigga his Snapples b. You talkin to a1500 thread count nigga thats official son. Step ya thread counts up little niggas. Get ya little flannel bullshit away from me yo. Nex time you see the god tuck ya chain in n salute me...you big mouth niggas. N remember yo...I aint here to change nobodys mind bout nothin son...Imma be happy if I can jus get a few muthafuckas to think tho.

Aight peace.

By the way yo.....

COMING SOON

Ayo this the lost Carter IV song....feat. Jay-Z

2011-09-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup this ya boy Thor Molecules aka Zeus Almighty namsayin. Word is bond yo the god was jus chillin on his balcony pourin his rozay n doin his Sunday afternoon shit nahmean. Ayo all a sudden the sun disappeared nahmean...then the skies opened apart n I seen a light that looked like two hands openin up yo. The hands was made from clouds....n then a mighty falcon emerged from within its palms namsayin. Word is bond...the falcon was made outta lava n was flyin down from the skies towards Tones balcony n it had fire blowin out its nostrils son. The falcon roared n it swirled over the gods balcony n did some acrobatic shit nahmean. Word...n then the falcon dropped some fiery bird shit on my balcony namsayin. N then all a sudden the muthafucka flew back into the clouds. Ayo the god approached the fiery birdshit n I seen sumthin within the birdshit yo. Ayo son I seen a iPod. Tone picked the iPod up n I seen it was one a the wack Nano joints yo. But it was made from gold b. N there was only one joint on the muthafucka....the joint had no name. But I peeped it yo. When I heard the shit comin out from the little jelly ear buds a nigga said to hisself OH SHIT...THIS THE LOST CARTER IV JOINT.........featurin Jay-Z. There wasnt no hook or nothin...jus niggas spittin they bars n that was it. The beat itself was some other shit yo...I had visions of gladiators drivin race cars n shit...wit volcanoes explodin on the track son. The words to the joint appeared on the clouds as I was hearin the shit g. A nigga was amazed yo. But then it occured to a nigga why the shit aint make it on the album b.....cos these niggas was lowkey takin shots at eachother yo. N as the song ended the iPod exploded n turned to dust yo. So I scribed the words that was still upon the clouds nahmean. N as ya boy finished writin the words down...lightnin shot down from the clouds n zapped the floor of a niggas patio son. All a sudden a nigga layin in his waterbed surrounded by lions n half nekkid broads namasayin....shit went back to normal yo. So a nigga felt as tho he had awoken from a dream yo. But then I looked on the wall...ayo n the words I had scribed from the song was on the wall son...N this is what a nigga remembered from the song...I named the shit Fiery Balconies since it aint had no official name yo.
Aight peace.

Fiery Balconies - Lil Wayne feat. Jay-Z

Jay-Z:

Turn the muthafuckin music up

Yeahhh

Yeaaaahhh!

I got these niggas Weezy!

Heheheheheheheheheheh....

You might cop a watch like mine, homie, but this a different BEZel
We both floatin on our yachts homie, but this a different VESssssel
The one ya boy ridin on is a little bit more SPESH-ull
Cos we both be gettin dough, but homie, Hov makes bigger PRETZels

OH.....We aint count-in the same DEC-i-mals
Listen, my nigga, we aint even speakin the same DEC-i-bels
Thought I told ya'll niggas that this rap shit was my BITCH, fam
Plus I 'ready told ya'll, I'm not a HITman, I'm a HIT, maaaaaan

Pokerface'd the game n now I'm steady stackin CHIPS, man
Use ta FLIP grams, but then it EXpand-ed, SHIT man, look what I WITH-stand-ed
Damn....Tell me WHO in HIStory did it like THIS man
The Beatles before they DISbanded, maybe MJ, maybe PRINCE man

Even Elvis had to BOW DOWN, when his CROWN BOUNCED, look what they FOUND OUT
That boy Young ain't the one you COUNT OUT, let's see THAT from a lil nigga DOWN SOUTH
Niggas talkin breezy n run outta breath n get weezy
Thinkin those messages is for themmm jus because they been gettin cc'ed

You wanna BATTLE dog? Fuck that, lets compare catalogs...
compare bank accounts, compare travel logs, compare passports, n THEN have a talk
Niggas think they got bite, jus cos they have a bark
Cos the niggas who ain't got cars will tell you they rather walk...Haa!

Yall niggas is avatars....to be honest, I aint even mad at ch'all
You pour ya cup n mafuckas jus rather grab a straw.....
They like fiends, the way they rock back n forth
like that's a cure...HUH

Niggas can't act mature.....
N everybody think they TU-pack Shakurs
Niggas brave after two packs a Coors, Two packs? OF COURSE
Triple entendre you bastards off

Soon as our mafuckin paths have crossed,
Who you tryna renegade? You just a Asher Roth
Never pushed out the game due to lack a force
Plus my nigga Wayne jus adds support....HUH

Lil Wayne:

Helluh errybuddy it's that nigguhYoung Tunechi
Lookit all these nigguhs tryna eat off of muh fruit tree
I read a pussay ass muhfucka like a book
Bwoy I POP a pussay nigguh...kick his ass like uh foot...hyeeaah

Nigguh so paid you should call meh Mr Paid
Old nigguhs so sour we should call um lemonade
Bitch I got yachts like a muthfuckin dock
Tunechi spit so haaawrd they should jus call mehhh Raaawck

I pop a pussy nigguh, POP UM POP UM like balloons
Damn I sweep a muhfucka off his feet, brooms
Bout to blow shit up once again nigguh, boom
You nigguhs is dead to meh like dead people, tombs

Bitch I go so hard they should call a nigguh Hardy
N yall muthafuckas want some beef wit Tune, Arbys
So many bitches in the ruoohm bwoy, bacardi
Tunechi is tha tunafish...yall nigguhs is sawrdeens...hyeeack

Bwoy Im goin in, you should call meh dildo
Get yuh ass kicked, you should call yuhself field goal
Weezy rock so much ice, you should call meh real cold
Got so many rings they should call me Bilbo....hyeahhh

...Get yuh ass laid down like floor tile
Drizzy got dem sweaters, you should call him young orrhgyle
Nigguh so hot yuh should call me Atlantuhh
N bitch, real B's move in silence like buhnanas

Nigguh um paid, yuh should call meh Darth Paider
Showed muh nigguh Drizzy how to handle light sabers
Muhfucka um jus livin life fast forwardin
Goin so fast, yuh should call me Flash Gawrdin

Weezy F Baby from the city of New Awrlins
Nigguhs get scared when they hear muh pants roarrrin
Shoutout my nigguhs Gudda, Mack Maine n Aurrrbry
Young Money bwoy, fuck errybody....orgy.

Ayo this Big Ghosts Carter IV Review son...

2011-08-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

Whattup yall its ya boy P-Tone aka the Hands Of Zeus namsayin. I aint really gon waste too much time wit the introductions tho namsayin. Yall probably want a nigga to get rite into this shit. Word is bond. Niggas been waitin on this album for bout 3 years n shit. After son dropped his bullshit "rock" album tho....a few less niggas was waitin on this shit. Then he dropped the joint wit his crew Young Money n it was even fewer niggas waitin nahmean. Truth be told tho... thats more of a bouquet of niggas than a crew son. Im jus sayin b....maybe pluck Gunz outta that shit tho. Millz aint exactly horrible neither but he been gettin stale as fuck lately. The rest a them niggas is lightweight tho...so what you expect par? When he dropped the I Am Not A Human Being shit he seemed to be gettin back to his Dedication/Drought shit tho...so niggas started anticipatin his shit again. But then he dropped the single (you kno the one) n niggas jus abandoned this muthafucka period. Now he relyin on 12 yr old broads n the pedophile niggas that need his music in order to lure 12 yr old broads to they car for all his sales. Pretty much eybody else jus gon find a mediafire link n leave it at that son. Unless this shit actually proves niggas wrong yo. Who knows namsayin. Anyways...the god aint gon judge this shit til he gives it a listen first. So Imma chill.

1. Intro - I aint mad at this beat. This shit actually sound official. But son said "Boy Im goin in.....like my water broke" Yup....Drake wrote this shit.

2. Blunt Blowin - This shit starts out soundin like some Final Fantasy shit...but it starts to masculine up a little when the hook comes in. But then Im like hold up....this shit sound familiar yo. This nigga aint really...oh nah....yeah he did....son "borrowed" the hook from a Pat Benatar joint. For all yall 90s babies readin this shit...Pat Benatar was kinda like the Katy Perry of the 80s yo...only her joints wasnt all wack as fuck. But I aint really sweatin that jack move like that b. Either way tho.... I still aint really crazy bout this shit son. Plus the nigga talkin bout Ashton Kutcher, shootin hummingbirds n droppin suspect bars like "I do it for the money...man I am such a hooker" Yup....Drake probably wrote this one too b.

3. MegaMan - This shit also happen to be produced by a nigga named MegaMan. I dont kno who the fuck that is but the nigga Wayne need to get more creative wit these titles b. This beat knocks in the whip but still sounds like a beat I heard sumthin like 9000,1000000,000 times tho fam. Also yo.... I get how niggas bend they rhymes n try to make that shit fit together when the words dont even rhyme no type a way at all yo....like mad southern niggas get away wit that shit cos they got the drawls n twangs n shit (whattup Drake)....but when this nigga rhymed "Burger King" wit "surgery" I had to stop my hand from hittin the skip on that shit nahmean. Son also doin that extra high pitched shit wit his voice that he started fuckin wit round the time he made No Ceilings....which you might think at least ONE nigga in his entourage had told him is annoying as fuck by now. Even tho the rhymes is stupid wack on this one...the shit wasnt as effeminate as the last joint...so I dont think Drizzzay wrote this shit son.

4. 6 Foot 7 Foot (ft Cory Gunz) - I still fucks wit this joint. The niggas voice is on that fingernails on the chalkboard while chewin tinfoil shit again...but the beat is still kinda catchy nahmean. The little nigga Cory Gunz stole the show on this one yo. The corny Wayne bars got me thinkin this probably got Drizzy fingerprints on em anyways....so it never was really Gunz vs Weezy nahmean. Still...I fucks wit it.

5. Nightmares Of The Bottom - When this beat dropped all I could think was why the fuck would son throw a lullaby on at track 5? Like you really wanna have niggas fallin asleep this early into ya album fam? So Im startin to doze off n shit but then this nigga says "Im lookin in my rearview...I see the world in it....I try to slow down....n I get rear-ended". N like THAT...ya boy wide awake all over again yo. But now Im thinkin bout the fuckin line for the rest of the song nahmean. Son even had the nerve to "pause" that shit. Son you cant pause THAT. The fuck you mean? "I get rear-ended - PAUSE". Son the line wasnt even fly to begin wit....shit wasnt worth compromisin ya fuckin manhood over son. If you gay n you wanna say some homogetical shit like that its cool...Tone aint no homophobe b. I aint sweatin that namsayin. But this nigga been confusin niggas for a minute now nahmean (Exhibit A below). Word yo.....The homie Young Angel definitely wrote this shit too b.

6. She Will (ft Drake) - This shit aint exactly incredible....but I actually kinda fucks wit it. Only KINDA tho...Cos real talk son...this shit sound kinda like a rapist anthem b. Niggas soundin like they aint worried bout no damn consent at all yo. Matter fact this probably the most rapiest soundin shit since Kanye did that "Drunk n Hot Girls" joint wit Mos Def. You can practically hear Drake spittin these bars tho....probably cos he wrote em too. Matter fact this joint jus sounds like a straight Aubrey joint wit Weezy's voice on it instead. This sound like some shit where Aubrey was probably innocently makin the joint in the studio n the nigga Wayne dropped in while he was listenin to the playback. Son was probably like "Ayo Young Angel...this shit cool...thanks for the song, wodie. This MY song now nigga.....ayaaaackhhh" n then put the nigga in a headlock n gave him a noogie n shit. Drizzy mighta cried hisself to sleep that nite tho.

7. How To Hate - Cant believe I had to listen to almost 1:40 min of T-Pain doin that wack shit he does (you kno...where he opens his mouth n sounds come out) before the nigga Wayne even started spittin yo. But soon as the nigga did....I actually just wanted him to stop nahmean. "When it Waynes it pours"? Cmon son..... Like forreal b? Anyhow yo...case yall aint notice...this is basically the hook from Shut It Down son. Nah not the classic Public Enemy joint son...that tampon commercial from Drizzys first album b. Niggas thinkin they slick recyclin melodies n addin a bunch a OH OH AHHHS to that shit tho? This shit is jus mad bitchy yo. Wouldnt be surprised if these niggas went swimmin wit dolphins together after they made this shit son. Shit is jus drippin wit progesterones b. This nigga said "All I had to do was put 2 n 2 together...but that jus makes 4...but not forever...damn"....Yup Drizzy wrote this shit too son.

8. Interlude (ft. Tech N9ne & Andre 3000) - Now how fucked up is it that the best joint so far on WEEZY's album is the joint that he dont even rhyme on yo? Son jus gon let these niggas Hov his album tho on some Memphis Bleek shit. Aint like he was givin Gudda Gudda a chance to spit summa his struggle bars on this joint. Nah he let two certified beasts hop on this joint...n both a them went apeshit on this muthafucka. Son mighta jus heard these niggas snap on this beat n was like...."ummmm.... ya kno....Imma jus chill n let yall have this joint cos I left my rhymes at home n shit yall....Imma add my verse to this shit tomorrow....I gotta sore throat anyways...." n then he jus aint never even bothered. Nothin for Drake to see here yo.........

9. John (ft. Rick Ross) - First time I heard this shit was bout a month or so ago... I wasnt really feelin it back then tho. I think I prefer it to most a the other joints on this album so far tho nahmean. Maybe thats why the shit is growin on me now. Anyways....one thing I noticed is not only do a lotta Lex Luger beats sound alike...but now even Pollow Da Don beats sound like Lex Luger beats. This shit actuallysounds like a Ricky Rozay joint featurin Lil Wayne...cos this beat was pretty much already on his last album yo....twice. Pollow thinkin nobody gon notice if he sped up the MC Hammer or BMF joint. If Drizzzzzzay had any part in this shit...son mighta had a whole beer before he wrote anything nahmean. These bars are a little tougher....

10. Abortion - This beat kinda ok... Sons jus spittin nonsense on it tho. The whole thing kinda mediocre in actuality.

11. So Special (ft John Legend) - Soon as this song started playin it jus sounded like some candy ass shit b. Then it got a little tougher. But it actually was still jus some candy ass shit b. This nigga makin like 45 different references to eatin a broad out yo. We get it nigga. Son wants to snack on the box erry 3 bars tho son. Meanwhile the homie John Legend gettin his grown man on durin the hook. This shit is jus a damn mess if you ask Tone. "I spent the night in Heaven...I slept witta angel". Yup....fuck you Drizzy.

12. How To Love - Now I kno yall already heard this shit....I almost skipped reviewin this joint cos I aint really wanna say all the obvious shit you can say bout this shit son. But I might got some shit I gotta get off my chest first lord.... Whoever allowed this nigga to sit down n get his John Mayer on like this needs to get his ass beat down witta sock filled wit batteries son. This shit aint only soft b...its like softness wit techron my nigga. Son...first time I heard this joint it hurt my heart yo. I felt betrayed par. Like it really done came down to this shit b? This the shit yall muthafuckas is rockin wit now yo? Cmon son....where we gon draw line son? This is like listenin to kittens do ballet in slow motion yo. Its like bein showered wit ovaries n bellybuttons son. Its like this muthafucka jus slid on down a rainbow n landed in a big pool of estrogen before he made this shit b. Like this nigga jus pulled up in the drive-thru n ordered the McBitch combo wit extra cheese n a Diet Aveeno. Theres a whole kaleidoscope of homoeroticness happenin rite here son. Drizzy probably crochets mittens to this shit rite here yo. This that shit Drake listens to on his lavender iPod when he usin his flyin umbrella to get from point A to point B son. Rite now...as we speak...theres probably two niggas spoonin on a beach somewhere watchin eagles soar over mountains while they listen to this shit b. This song got a damn uterus son. This like some shit for niggas who rock Spanx b. I thought that when Wiz Khagina made Roll Up he hit us wit the softest shit of the last 5 years yo....like how was niggas gon outdo that shit? But THIS nigga done dropped the atomic bomb of baby thighs on us son. How does a nigga even listen to this shit yo? Im mad I had to hear this shit again at all yo. This nigga croonin wit his eyes closed like he tryna bring all the dolls in his room to life n shit....Nah fuck that shit son....I see a nigga listenin to this shit n Imma run up on him n explode him wit grenades b. I dont care if he drivin in a car wit his kids in it clappin they hands on some Kumbaya shit on they way to church son....I hear a nigga playin this shit in his whip n Imma pull him outta that shit n explode him wit grenades in front a his family b. Word is bond son. Anyways....I dont like this shit b.

13. President Carter - This shit is better. Sounds kinda like the joint Weezy did wit Dre a few years ago tho. But I aint mad at it. This shit got Drake's kitten paw prints all over it too tho. But luckily it aint the super bitchmade Drake wit the apron who bakes muffins over the beat on this shit tho. These the bars Drizzy starts spittin after he spends a weekend rollin round in his chopped El Camino down south holdin other niggas guns n mean muggin muthafuckas while he drive by throwin up B's hollerin 'Soo Woooop' while his security guards follow behind him so he can stay in touch wit "his roots". In the end...the shit got a couple corny lines....but I fucks wit it.

14. Its Good (ft Jadakiss & Drake) - Aka the "warning for Hov". I coulda sworn I was listenin to Lionel Richie's Hello at the beginning of this shit b... Anyways tho...guess niggas needed to get some shit off they chests on this shit. The nigga Kiss aint really throw any subliminals at Jay on this joint....but he should be ashamed for cosignin this bullshit. Unless he aint kno Weezy n his bottom bitch was gon "take shots at the throne" namsayin. This nigga Drizzy usin words like "comfy" n "munchies" to get his point across n shit. Then he rhymed "faded" wit "faded" wit "faded"...which niggas jus need to stop doin in general n shit. But its funny cos when the nigga gets on his angry shit he sounds like even more of a hoe son....thats jus bein honest wit yall. Listen to this nigga son. He sound like a angry cartoon hamster or some shit my nigga. SON...you are this nigga.....

Aint nobody EVER gon be afraid of you son. Matter fact you gotta be the biggest bitch on earth to even have one hair on ya neck slighty stand up cussa some shit that this nigga Aubrey jus spit on this track while he was gettin his ferocious on. This nigga probably sneezes out gummi bears son. If you punched this nigga in his stomach it would more than likely make a squeekin sound b. Fuckouttahere wit this shit Aubs. Then the nigga Weezy gon start throwin his two cents in talmbout "I'll take you out...thats a date nigga" n threatenin to kidnap Bey while he at it. These nigags is out they minds son. Word is bond. First off that nigga Drake already said he gon cry when Hov dies. Like you aint really got no way outta shit once you go on a song n say you gon cry when this nigga die son. Now you wanna try n massage ya way into dissin this nigga standin behind Weezy n Kiss tryin to flex ya muscles n shit fam? Nigga we done seen the pink canary n the owl tatted on ya back b. God forbid you go out in public n muthafuckas catch a upskirt n see the paw prints you got tatted up ya thighs son. N this nigga Wayne been already gone on record sayin how much he loves n adores the nigga. Now you mad? I cant listen to this fuckery no more son. Anyways how Wayne gon say "Nigga Im straight...my girl a faggot" knowin damn well that Drizzy standin rite there n heard what he said b?

15. Outro (ft. Bun B, Nas, Shyne & Busta Rhymes) - This got the same beat as the intro. Rite from the start...that nigga Bun set the bar THIS damn high...so I aint even kno if the rest a these niggas was gon be able to follow in his shoes...but niggas went in g. Ayo son...I jus wanna say I love that nigga Nas. Thats my muthafuckin man rite there yo. I missed the hunger in that nigga. N he been gettin shitted on for way too long...so its good to see my dude come alive on this shit b. This aint even the niggas lane son. But he snapped on this shit b. It aint the young Nasty Nas back all over...but son sounds hungry again at least. Salute that nigga son. Next the Black Rabbi Shyne is up to bat.....n even tho he soundin like a miniature Rawse on this shit...I aint really mad at his him. Busta does his usual Busta thing. I dont even remember the last time this nigga aint body a beat now. Its probably been a good 3 years now tho son. BUT....again its like the nigga Weezy jus said "naw wodie....Imma add my verse to this shit later...I forgot mines at home...." n then jus never did. So son let like 6 different niggas (sorry...not you Shyne...or you Aubs....n shame on you Jada) get on his album n body these beats...n he was only on one a the joints Im speakin bout. Nigga have a seat...

Bonus Tracks:

16. I Like The View - Wit all the faggotry on this album...this the joint he gon decide to leave off as a bonus track tho? I dont understand no more par. This beat goes son. I guess its whatever tho. Summa the rhymes is ass. Son talmbout "Mona Lisa smiles" n shit....word...you guessed it...Drizzy probably wrote this shit.

17. Mirror (ft Bruno Mars) - I feel like a bitch for even listenin to this whole song b. Congrats tho son...Vagina Monologues n Lilith Fair probably gon pay out the ass to get you to tour wit em nigga. This some shit for niggas who gotta apply Monistat 7 to they inflamed areas b. I dont fucks wit this shit at all yo.

18. Two Shots - This shit sounds like it was left off the I Am Not A Human Being joint. That aint necessarily a bad thing or nothin... But I dont even really wanna keep listenin to this shit to be honest fam....Im jus gettin bored n upset now yo.

19. Up Up And Away - This joint aint on the copy that I illegally downloaded son. Judgin by the title I dont even wanna hear this shit anyways namsayin.

Thats all I got for yall niggas. Overall this shit aint really as wack as I thought it was gon be...but there aint really no stand outs on this shit other than the joints that the nigga aint even rhymin on. How does that shit even make sense fam? The fuck is this a Dre album? Did the nigga Weezy produce the beats to those joints? I dont understand what part a the game that is lord....This nigga barely deserve any respect anymore son. I use to think son caught a lot a unnecessary flack for bein overrated. But son needs to jus sit down now. This shit is mediocre as fuck b. The god givin this shit 2 Zeus slaps outta 5....n thats bein kinda generous b. But he get 5 outta 5 Drake cat paws for this shit.

Aight peace.

Ayo this is P-Tones R.E.D. Album review son

2011-08-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy Volcano Hands Tone aka Thor Molecules nahmean. I aint even wanna review this joint but niggas wasnt lettin me chill so Imma throw yall some biscuits namsayin. But before I get started I gotta address some shit. 1) If you readin this shit anywhere other than on Big Ghost Chronicles it aint official my nigga. I dont mind yall usin my shit n repostin it or whatever but give credit where its due b. N stop makin ya little changes n shit. We dont respect that shark nigga shit b. 2) It wasnt on this particular album but son jus dropped his 2 hour Otis freestyle the other day n yo....I jus wanna say..........Son. Stop that shit. Dont nobody wanna clear they got damn schedule for the afternoon jus so they can listen to that shit. Niggas dont need no damn 500 bars of no nigga spittin bars over one beat. Niggas gotta be unemployed n devoid of any goals in life to be excited bout some shit like that b. Niggas gotta be 12 yrs old to have some time like that on they hands in the first place son. "Nah yall ga'head n see that movie without me...Im gon jus stay here n peep this here Game freestyle instead yall" Cmon yo...fuck is wrong wit you Jayceon? N Jay-Z aint gon respond to you nibblin at his ankle all day b. Chill yo. Anyway Imma get into this shit now...

1. Dr. Dre Intro - This shit was mad unnecessary b.

2. The City (ft. Kendrick Lamar) - This shit is jus way too dramatic yo. Son sounds like he was listenin to Nas's One Mic for like a month straight before he went into the booth to spit this shit son. The nigga sounds like he swallowed Crooked I or Royce Da 5'9 or some shit. Not sure which one...but I swear he usin another niggas flow tho. Then the nigga got the nerve to say he Top 5 dead or alive. Son.... Niggas laugh at Jadakiss for sayin shit like that....n that nigga could actually spit at one point namsayin. But he aint done makin ridiculous claims son. Its like he tryin to test a niggas patience when he says some shit bout bein the black Slim Shady. But then son starts to REALLY lose his composure n says he "the best the West ever seen, no disrespect to Calvin". Best what nigga? Son....you disrespectin a whole lot more niggas than jus Calvin nahmean. I wont go thru the WHOLE list son...but summa the niggas Im talmbout got names you mighta heard before...like Oshea n TUPAC....maybe even ANDRE. But thats a whole nother topic namsayin. Not to mention that the nigga doin the hook...who also hails from the West... ends the song by completely bodyin the beat. Im sayin the beat actually hid from the nigga n jus disappeared while son was spittin. So after all ya talk bout bein top 5 n bein the black Eminem you gon jus let Kendrick rape you on the track son? If I was you Jayceon...I woulda been told the nigga to get the fuck out the studio and dont come back til he could mediocre his shit up a little.

3. Drug Test (ft. Dr Dre, Snoop Dogg & Sly) - Speak of the devil yo...the OTHER best niggas the West ever produced....This joint been out for a minute yo. Matter fact I think its the latest single. Thing is yo...I dont kno how you get Dre n Snoop on a joint wit you n the shit barely makes a peep on the radio or in clubs namsayin. Imma tell you why tho. Cos the shit is mediocre as fuck b. When you got the two niggas who made G-Thang n Next Episode n Still D.R.E. on a joint wit you...you cant be droppin no filler that sounds like some shit Timbaland was snappin his neck(s) n splashin his fruit punch all over the studio to durin the Black Album sessions son.

4. Martians Vs Goblins (ft. Tyler The Creator & Lil Wayne) - Heres the thing bout this nigga son. When he go into another nigga chamber he go straight to jockin that nigga shit. Its been that way since day 1 tho nahmean. He was doin joints wit 50 Cent...he sounded like Fif. He did a joint wit Eminem...son got his Slim Shady on all over that muthafucka. He do joints wit Nas...he all a sudden spittin like Nas. He do a joint wit Rae...he soundin like Rae. Im sayin this nigga never bring his own identity to the table. So when he decides to start surfin the Tyler wave...you already kno what this nigga gon be doin namsayin. Then he throws Lil Weezy-Ana on this shit n we spose to have some mindblowin shit happenin here I guess. Son talmbout slurpin on Erykah Badu box n pokin Bron Bron's moms n shit. All that shit is whatever but this nigga said "when Im wit my uncle...fuck it...then Im a Crip too" which lets you kno how serious he is bout this Blood life. I cant fuck wit this shit tho.

5. Red Nation (ft. Lil Wayne) - This joints probably the only shit so far that I feel like listenin to again. Its been out for a minute so I actually heard this a couple times already nahmean. But at least the nigga jus stayin in his lane doin his own thing here. Yeah he droppin names like a fuckin prison snitch all over this muthafucka....I mean the first verse sounds like "Im so____ like____mixed wit____. I kno____...whattup to_____, _______ , n _______!" ....but I fucks wit it.

6. Dr. Dre 1 - yawn....

7. Good Girls Go Bad (ft. Drake) - Say you a nigga who happened to make some pretty suspect choices throughout ya life...like bein a hood Chippendale dancer n gettin butterflies n stars tatted on ya face n cryin durin interviews when nobody asked you nothin to get emotional bout....shit like that. Now lets say you wanna do a song wit a nigga who a lotta muthafuckas believe is like the livin embodiment of bein a suspect nigga. A nigga whose natural scent is pear. A nigga that practically bleeds syrup. A nigga whose own moms aint even realize was a boy n named the muthafucka Aubrey....say this is you. Do you really wanna go namin the joint you doin together "Good Girls Go Bad" b? Anyway this joint aint bad. Drizzy on his "blah blah blah guuuuurrl" shit again n droppin heatrocks like "I love ya ass like the Ninja Turtles love pizza". Meanwhile Game back on his namedroppin shit. Im sayin tho....son mentioned jus Kanye alone three times b. Anyway I fucks wit it.

8. Ricky - This shit named after the nigga in Boyz N The Hood who wasnt Ice Cube or Cuba Gooding Jr. Rite off the bat I wanna say that the nigga DJ Khalil laced this muthafuckin beat wit steroids yo. This shit sound like gorillas beatin they chests wit sledge hammers b. This shit sound like its rainin watermelons in the studio. Theres broads screamin n lightning bolts shootin outta shit n violins n elephants stampedin on this muthafucka n whatever... The nigga Game aint really sayin nobody names either so I got give him some dap for that too. Word. I fucks wit it.

9. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly - Thought it was Dre rhymin on this shit at first yo. If I was bein generous Id say this shit was aight nahmean. But on the real....I dont really give a fuck bout this song son.

10. Heavy Artillery (ft. Rick Ross & Beanie Sigel) - This shit is ill. The beat is tough as fuck nahmean. Ricky Rozay goes first n spits some hardbody darts rite out the gate. Next Game comes in n drops one a his better 16s n manages to keep niggas names out his mouth for 75% of the verse. Then the Broad Street Bully comes in n bodies this shit. I fucks wit it.

11. Paramedics (ft. Young Jeezy) - I swear I couldnt even tell if Game was even on this shit at first b. I had to listen to it twice yo. This nigga mussa been garglin sand before Jeezy got to the studio to get his voice to sound extra raspy tho nahmean. This shit was jus mad awkward g. Wonder how Jeezy felt bout that shit when he heard it yo. Somebody need to explain to this nigga that you aint gotta go outta ya way to impersonate the nigga you doin the song wit tho b. This shit was fucked up son. Snowman did his thing tho. I kinda fucks wit it....not really tho.

12. Speakers On Blast (ft. E-40 & Big Boi) - N here we go again wit that bullshit. Son channelin his inner 3 Stacks on this shit like he tryna impress Big Boi. The hook is some ATLiens shit too. This startin to remind me a some Single White Female shit tho. Stop it 5. I pressed skipped before I heard the 40 Fonzarelli bars...so I cant really comment on that yo.

13. Hello (ft. Lloyd) - First off I jus wanna say that I dont fuck wit no Lloyd son. Justin Bieber got a more masculine voice than this nigga here namsayin. N Lloyd a grown man b. Drake at his most effeminate state possible...walkin round his garden singin duets wit canaries n strokin kittens....cant even sound this bitchmade son. If a baby flamingo opened its mouth to say whattup to me I would expect that muthafucka to sound jus like this nigga Lloyd b. If vaginas could sing they would probably sound EXACTLY like this nigga Lloyd yo. Even El Debarge be sayin this niggas shit is too soft nahmean. Son aint got one molecule of bass in his voice whatsoever namsayin. The shit is jus creepy my nigga. The joint itself is jus way too got damn silky yo. I can almost see the dandelions gettin blown around in the studio when niggas was recordin this shit b. How many Nuvo body shots did these niggas do off each other before they came up wit this shit son? Get this shit the fuck outta here yo.

14. All The Way Gone (ft. Mario & Wale) - Guess this spose to be the part of the album where all the panty droppin starts...cos this joint is almost as corny as the last one b. Only thing that keeps it from bein more ass than the Hello joint is the nigga Mario aint sound bitchmade like Lloyd. The nigga Wale on this shit too. Yall probably remember him as Future from 8 Mile. Anyways...skip.

15. Pot Of Gold (ft. Chris Brown) - This shit rite here is exactly what you would expect from the two most emotional n mentally unstable niggas in the game....some melodramatic boo hoo shit wit Breezy singin bout not dancin on rainbows no more or whatever n Game threatenin to quit rap after two more albums (he actually said that after the first two albums son...n promised he was done after the third...but whatever yo). This was actually the first official single after the other first official singles he dropped last year. I cant even tell you how much I dont fucks wit this shit tho son.

16. Dr Dre 2 - Seriously...is this shit even necessary b?

17. All I Know (ft. Lu Breeze) - Son...I almost aint even make it past the suspect ass intro. This shit obviously reminds me a litttle of Jigga's All I Need....not in a good way tho. I dont hate this joint but probably aint no way Im gon ever skip to #17 n try n hear this shit again on purpose.

18. Born In The Trap - DJ PREMIER-P-P-P-Premiere did this shit! BUT...let me clarify yo. This aint the Preemo that did the beats for 5 classic Gang Starr albums n had probably the best joints on Reasonable Doubt, Illmatic n Ready To Die son....this is the Premier that cant get beats placed on Jay or Nas albums no more n been gettin shitted on by Kanye for the past 5 years. Niggas use to be like "PREEM LEMME GET A BEAT PLEASE YO!!! I GOT YA 30 Gs RITE HERE SON". Now niggas is like "Shit...that nigga Preemo sendin me links to his SoundCloud again....". I love that nigga Preem tho. Thats my heart. N this joint is still A LOT better than the bullshit we been hearin over the last 6 or 7 tracks b. I fucks wit it.

19. Mama Knows (ft. Nelly Furtado) - He got my baby's mama Nelly Furtado on this joint...so props for that shit b. Anyways yo...theres three different Pharrells son. There the nigga that did Grindin n Hell Hath No Fury n Blue Magic n whatever. Aka the nigga that dont give a fuck bout melodies n song hooks n jus hits you wit that raw shit. Then theres the bongo happy Pharrell who had all those hits in the 00s wit pretty much eybody that was in the music industry at that time nahmean. Then theres the Pharrell that conned Jay into thinkin Allure was the shit that shoulda been playin at the end a Carlito's Way....the nigga that makes those Nyquil joints that make you feel like you wanna call it a day at 11am. The Pharrell that made this shit aint the first two. Ayo Skateboard P...son gets ya logo tatted on hisself n started dressin like you n THIS is all you came up wit for this nigga? This shit aint grimey OR catchy son. This shit is the snooze button that lets you kno you can go back to sleep for a couple minutes. Dont listen to this shit when you behind the wheel b. Fair warning.

20. California Dream - Guess you can wake back up now! This beat kinda fly rite here....I think I fucks wit....oh wait. Hold up a minute.....oh wait this nigga tellin you the whole damn story bout when another one a his kids was born b. Son. You been done this shit already. This shit wont ever be my favorite joint on the album. But I guess I fucks wit it.

21. Dr Dre Outro - This shit jus sounds stupid comin in at the end son. I feel like Im spose to be turnin the shit over to listen to the other side. Sounds like a damn intro....Anyways son basically took 2 minutes of Dre speakin on him n split it up into 4 tracks on his album. Cant respect that type of Stannin b.

Overall Imma give this shit 2.5 Zeus slaps outta 5. After he got off to a bullshit start I thought he was gettin on a roll there for a minute...but then he jus started drownin in a ocean of estrogen n teardrops. Its like the album had a change a heart son. I cant really fuck wit none a that shit par. Thats all I got for yall niggas.

Aight peace.

Ayo this P-Tone's review for Watch The Throne namsayin...

2011-08-09T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Titanium Beard Brother #1 namsayin. I think by now most a yall been heard the Watch The Throne joint...so it might be the right time for the god to share his thoughts on that shit nahmean. Before I start I wanna say that I respect these dudes crazy son. Ye been doin some sus shit here n there but that nigga still a genius when it comes down to it yo. N Jay is probably jus the best that ever did it son. Real talk...I think the nigga is who all these other rappers wish they could be whether they wanna admit it or not yo. Its jus a fact now son. Aight Imma get into this shit now.

1. No Church in the Wild (ft. Frank Ocean) - Thought the beat was kinda average at first to be honest wit yall. But the shit been growin on me. The fact that Jay brought back one of his most boring flows...the same one he used on Pray off American Gangster...didnt help nothin tho. Yeezy drops his least EMPHASIZED bars in a minute n gets the green light from Jiggaman to bring autotune back. I dont kno what hour in the day this shit was recorded but it sounds like some 5 AM shit. In the end tho... both them niggas got the job done n start shit off on the rite foot nahmean. The victim of Breezy's high pitched goon squad attack did his thing too.

2. Lift Off (ft. Beyonce) - I almost aint wanna even comment on this shit son.... I dont even kno what to say bout it yo. This shit sounds like the anthem the fairies in Ferngully would use to go to war against evil humans to or some shit b. This shit is like Shia LeBeouf in song form yo. Lissenin to this shit is like havin ya ears penetrated by a million microscopic dicks namsayin. Shit sounds like niggas doin aerobics on a magical cloud of daisies. How many meadows did Kanye cartwheel across before he decided to make this beat? Seriously yo.... Jus how many lily pads did the nigga skip across the pond on before he got inspired to make some shit like this? Definitely one a the worst songs Jay ever been involved in...thats includin those lame joints off Vol 3 wit Amil n Mariah or the worst songs off Kingdom Come....EVEN the Timbo joints off Blueprint 3. Like this joint is SOFT son. Guess thats why Jay only spit like 5 n a half bars on it. Its like the song Yung Berg would play before he goes n commits his latest string of L's. Shit is jus terrible son...especially since it took like 6 niggas to produce this muthafucka.

3. Niggas in Paris - If you can ignore the homoerotic title the shit actually aint bad son. I prefer it once the beat changes up tho. It starts off soundin like some shit them Young Money niggas mighta left behind in the studio one day. Like I swear I can hear Gudda Gudda gettin his mediocre on in the background for the first 2:43 minutes. But then shit gets dramatic n its all good yo. it aint really the monster track niggas made that shit out to be tho.

4. Otis (ft. Otis Redding) - First off they need to not be actin like Otis Redding is a "featured" artist on this shit. Since when do niggas sample a dude n then call that shit a feature. Son aint even been alive for like 40 years b. Otis Redding is my dude tho...so dont get that shit twisted son. That bein said...this shit still goes nahmean. Folks been divided on this joint for a minute...but that aint stop the dozen hasbeen ass niggas who hopped on this shit from strugglin the fuck out on it (Im lookin at you DMX).

5. Gotta Have It - This shit probably the least Neptunes soundin beat the Neptunes ever produced yo. Not sayin thats a bad thing tho. Im glad they aint bring no bongos or space sounds to this shit g. Niggas is jus tradin bars on some back n forth shit n basically talkin bout the usual shit they do. Kinda jus a filler joint nahmean. It probably wont be the next single or nothin...but its still a ill joint namsayin. This shit also got The Godfather of Soul's voice all over it...but they aint put "featuring James Brown" on the tracklist for some reason. Guess they missed that one.

6. New Day - "Me n the RZA connect"....thats a nice little quasi-hook rite ther namsayin. Sorry yo...this aint the 36 Chambers RZA...but it aint the "fuckin ridicalish" aint had a meal in a hot minute soundin RZA neither yo. It basically dont sound like a RZA joint at all son. He aint bring out the pointy ass rings n get on his BONG BONG shit or nothin but the god did his thing namsayin. Shit has Kanyes fingerprints all over it still tho.

7. Thats My Bitch - I aint the biggest fan a this shit rite here yo. It aint horrible or nothin but I remember when this shit was unleashed at the end a last year n it still aint grow on me like that. Its got all that retro hip hop shit happenin on it but I aint feelin the end results like that. Not sayin its wack....but I be skippin this joint usually.

8. Welcome To The Jungle - If Jay gon insist on usin this niggas bullshit ass beats still...the least he can do is make sure that Swizzy dont go near the booth yo. Ayo Snoop Budden...nobody gon need to hear you gettin ya "One hand in the air if you dont really care" on durin the hooks to no joints ever ever ever again son. Jus go back to contaminatin whats left of Alicia Keys n stop cashin in those favors niggas owe you to get on these high profile joints you malnourished ass lookin muthafucka. Son been urinatin wackness on these songs for years now b.... so can we jus acknowledge that the nigga got no business actin like he kno how to put together a hook now n stop lettin this whippet lookin muthafucka get near a mic?

9. Who Gon Stop Me - Now THIS shit is a problem yo. When it started the god was like ok cool....you kno...I was enjoyin it....the bassline was soundin like a lion growlin n shit. There wasa ill mood to it. Im diggin the joint namsayin....but then it starts really transformin into a monster after a couple minutes....n its like yo...we got a serious contender for best song on the album now. By the middle it sounds like niggas is drivin Lamborghinis around in the studio n drums is hittin like automatic weapons. I love this track son.

10. Murder to Excellence - Another ill joint. Not a lot I can say bout it tho son. If you heard it you kno its jus a solid track namsayin. Like a lotta these songs its got a change up in the beat halfway through. If I had to guess Id say its probably Wyclef's favorite song on the album tho.

11. Made In America (ft. Frank Ocean) - First of all son....Lionel Richie called from 1986 n said he wants his song back yo. Word. Sade jus holla'd on twitter to say this shit is soft as fuck namsayin. I think Elton John wants to conceive babies to this joint b. Drake said he gon soak in his lotion pool to this shit rite here for like a week son. I think Wiz Khagina is scissorin wit Amber Rose to this shit rite now as we speak yo. I heard this shit gon be used for the next Gwyneth Paltrow movie too. I dont kno how the same nigga that did Who Gon Stop Me had anything to do wit this shit but apparently he did nahmean. This shit sounds like two niggas hang glidin over the ocean together at sunset holdin hands son. I think this is bout to be on Yung Berg's yoga playlist. I cant fuck wit this shit at all b. This shit is like audio lesbian comin out my speakers son.

12. Why I Love You (ft. Mr Hudson) - Its almost like they knew they couldnt end the album on that Made In America shit. Contrary to the title n the fact that it says "featuring Mr Hudson" on this muthafucka....this shit goes hard yo. Mr Hudson does his thing too son. I fucks wit this joint forreal forreal. Might even be my favorite tomorrow.

Bonus tracks:

13. Illest Motherfucker Alive - Ok now...when you call a song "Illest Motherfucker Alive" you really gotta live up to that shit son. This shit kinda almost lives up to the name of the song...but it aint that special yo. But Im not mad at it. Actually if Made in America n Lift Off made the album I dont kno why this shit is jus a bonus track namsayin. I think Breezy's cousins are singin at the end a the song tho.

14 H.A.M. - This joint is still ass. Id rather listen to a whole Tyga mixtape son.

15. Primetime - This shit cool namsayin. Aint like my favorite song on earth or nothin....but No I.D. aint go n "Timbaland" these niggas wit no bullshit ass beat at least. Son always comes through wit sumthin decent or better. This shit better than decent tho nahmean.

16. The Joy (ft. Curtis Mayfield) - This shit shoulda been a official track on the album b. I dont care how old it is now...I still love this joint. I guess they aint wanna give they fans all this old shit...which is cool namsayin. But...AGAIN yo... if Lift Off gon be on the album anyway...you might as well jus swap that wit some old shit that AINT softer than Game's emotions b. N they put Thats My Bitch on the album anyway so maybe there aint no real excuse for makin this shit a bonus joint. But why these niggas got "featuring Curtis Mayfield" on this shit? I think Jay n Ye better cut that shit out before it becomes a trend for these lame muthafuckas to start havin "featuring (insert dead artist here)" on they joints too b.

Word yo. The album might got some filler n a couple joints thats jus beyond wack...but its still a pretty tight project son. Niggas produced the shit outta this muthafucka b. This aint jus some shit where dudes looped up a beat n banged out some drums on top n called that shit a finished product namsayin. Nah yo...niggas put some work in to get this shit done par. Tone appreciates that type a artistry tho nahmean. But it aint like its all fancy tricks n aint no real magic happenin under all the bullshit smoke n mirrors n shit namsayin. Niggas straight went HAM on summa thses tracks son...but not on the HAM joint tho. Another thing I appreciate is that niggas tried sumthin original n new. Plus they aint flood this shit wit guest appearances from they artist rosters n turn it into the Firm album. Hate it or love it...its probably gon be like that rare joint where niggas memorize all the lyrics to it after a week either way. Anyways I give this shit a solid 4 Zeus slaps namsayin.

Aight peace.

Ayo this nigga Drake CANNOT be serious son....

2011-08-01T01:53:00.000-07:00

OH WORD AUBREY?

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Thor Molecules namsayin. Word. By now yall probably heard bout how this nigga Aubrey actin like he jus gon start catchin bodies if niggas keep talkin greasy bout him. Nah this aint a joke....the nigga actually said that shit son. First off... unless he talmbout catchin bodies how Patrick Swayze had to catch the broad at the end of Dirty Dancing....he need to get the fuck outta here. Im sayin like the shit in the picture rite here son...

But Imma assume that that AINT what the nigga meant. Which means this nigga might be sufferin from Degrassi flashbacks where his character was somebody that the kids at his school mighta took seriously when it came to shit like that namsayin. Not cos he had some credentials that those crackerjack ass muthafuckas had to worry bout...but cos he was a negro. See...to those suburban Canadian white muthafuckas on the show it aint matter if son was a light-skinned fragile nigga wit a feminine demeanor nahmean. To them folks on the show that nigga was as black as a barbecued Kimbo Slice b. And on TV...the black dude is usually only in the script for one of 3 reasons namsayin...either a) he the deadbeat dad of some illegitimate kid or b) he a athlete or c) he got a gun. Plain n simple g. So this nigga got to portray hisself as a threatening individual n shit....which is practically science fiction namsayin. Or to be more specific...he was the scary nigga until he got popped in the hallway by some white dude n became plain ol Wheelchair Jimmy to them honkies....also known as Jimmy the kind n gentle negro wit a heart of gold. Which was probably closer to his real life persona anyway namsayin. But now this nigga gettin outta line FORREAL son. First off...I blame Wayne for this shit namsayin. Niggas knew son was frontin wit all that fake ass sooowoop Blood shit he was claimin...but that nigga came from the hood b. Matter fact Wayne aint even NEED to claim no set cos that nigga already from one a the most fucked up n most dangerous projects in America yo. Word bond. But when THIS cornball ass nigga started throwin up B's in pictures where was Wayne at son? Why Wayne aint say NAH CHILL THE FUCK OUT YOUNG ANGEL...THAT AINT YOU DAWG...huh? Son shoulda pulled the plug on that shit wit the quickness n slapped that nigga jus for frontin like that nahmean. But he aint do that. Which was his choice yo. BUT now this nigga takin shit to the nex level talmbout he gon catch bodies? Oh word? Actually the first time he mentions niggas gettin killed in the song he was sayin he gon send his goons out. Or that they jus gon handle that shit n start catchin bodies on his behalf......n not even tell him....cos he sayin he a powerful nigga like that. But then he switched it up in the second verse n said niggas is gon make HIM catch a body. Son...theres a lot a shit niggas would believe you would REALLY go n catch. Bodies jus aint one of em son. Niggas would have a easier time believin that son was catchin butterlies...or catchin measles...or catchin snowflakes on his tongue....or catchin a broads tears wit his pinky....but NOT no damn bodies yo. Stay in ya lane Drizzy. Jus stay in ya comfort zone nahmean. You aint built for all that tough talk yo. Last thing you want is a nigga callin ya bluff son. Stick to what you do best yo.....havin 14 yr old broads daydream bout you showin up at they door wit a rose in ya mouth n a horse n carriage waitin to take yall to a Build-A-Bear Workshop namsayin. Word.

Aight peace.

The tracklists for Cuban Linx Pt. III, God Forgives...., R.E.D. Album etc.

2011-07-30T15:18:00.000-07:00

Theres bout to be some classics droppin....

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Typhoon Hands Deini namsayin. The god back wit more exclusives for yall niggas nahmean. I kno yall gettin restless n been waitin on niggas to come smash yall over the head wit that marvelous shit. Jus wanna let yall kno off top that the wait is almost over yo....n the Cuban Linx III tracklist is now available exclusively rite here son. That shit gon be ridiculous so watch for it. I can tell yall right now firsthand that that nigga Chef bout to deliver those succulent type meals once again nahmean. Son got all the burners on his his stove cookin up that fly shit. My nigga got cakes n pies flyin across the room landin in stacks n shit. He got plates spinnin on his fingers...he jugglin knives n shit nahmean. Son got pots n pans twirlin in the air n shit yo. Im tellin yall...watch for that shit son. Or or or if you dont Imma come see you nahmean. Word n Imma hit you wit bout 2 tons of pressure per slap for sleepin on niggas yo. Thats my word. But yo thats neither here nor there namsayin. Nobody gon need they fingers broke jus yet. Word.... I also came across a couple a tracklists for some other joints. There been songs droppin by these dudes over the last few months but it dont seem like a lot a them shits made the final cut for they albums n shit son. Which is good cos that means we gon get some fresh bangers from these niggas namsayin. But I guess we gon see in the end nahmean. Anyhow hope yall dig these shits the way I be diggin em. I think all these niggas is bout to drop some classics b. Word is bond.

Aight peace.

Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...Pt III

1. Legend of the Iron Lobster (feat. Popa Wu)
2. The Egyptian Rigatoni Files (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks)
3. Electric Sun Tans (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks)
4. Thor Molecules [Tony Starks Interlude]
5. Leather Umbrella Episodes (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Blue Raspberry)
6. Bulletproof Midgets (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Method Man aka Johnny Blaze)
7. Confidential Watermelonz [skit]
8. Divine Ovary Smugglers (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks, U-God aka Golden Arms, RZA aka Bobby Steels, GZA aka Maximillion & Masta Killa aka Noodles)
9. Tandoori Foreplay (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Nas aka Nas Escobar)
10. Lava Jacuzzi Niggaz (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Justin Bieber aka Swollen Knuckles)
11. Magnetic Tuxedos [skit]
12. Pelligrino Viking Essays (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Inspectah Deck aka Rollie Fingers)
13. Barbwire Sunglasses (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Beanie Sigel aka Mack Mittens)
14. Fishnet Polo Mamis (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Cappadonna aka Cappachino)
15. Titanium Beard Syndrome (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks, & Rick Ross aka Albert Anastasia)
16. Velvet Laptops (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Lloyd Banks aka Blue Hefner)
17. The Rootbeer Aquarium [Tony Starks solo joint]
18. Executive Barbell Syndromes (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Jadakiss aka Montega Jada)
19. Bunk Bed Politics (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Mary J. Blige)
20. Saltwater Infants [outro] (feat. Papa Wu)

21. Lesbian Acrobat Therapy (feat. Ghostface aka Tony Starks & Game aka Butterfly Cheeks) [Bonus Track]

Rick Ross - God Forgives, I Don't

1. From C.O. to C.E.O. [Intro]
2. Real Niggaz Don't Die(t) (feat. DJ Khaled)
3. $75,000 Shades On (feat. D.A. from Chester French & French Montana)
4. Dupont Registry Music
5. Audemars Music
6. Chandeliers On My Wrist (feat. Kanye West & Wale)
7. Who's The Bawse? [Interlude] (feat. Tony Danza)
8. Sports Bra Music
9. Maybach Music 12 (feat. T-Pain, Birdman & Lil Wayne)
10. Bugatti Music (feat. Diddy)
11. 100" Flatscreen Music (feat. Meek Mill & Pill)
12. Grand Slam Breakfast Music
13. Weed Carriers (feat. Torch, Gunplay & Memphis Bleek)
14. A Thousand Keys In The Trunk [Interlude]
15. Yayo In My Bitch's Ass (feat. Pill)
16. Fuckboy Music (feat. Phil Collins)
17. McGriddles Music
18. C.O.C.A.I.N.E [Choosin Our Careers As Ignorant Niggas Errryday] (feat. Meek Mill & Asher Roth)

Game - The R.E.D. Album [No Typo]

1. Watch The Throne (feat. Chris Brown & Nelly)
2. Heir To Aftermath (feat. Dre* & Pitbull)
3. Skateboard Killerz (feat. Lupe Fiasco,Tyler The Creator & Frank Ocean)
4. Still D.R.E. Pt II (feat. Dre* & Snoop Dogg)
5. Hydraulics & Hydroponics (feat. Lady Gaga)
6. Coconuts & Lipstick (feat. Black Eyed Peas)
7. Imperial Clientele (feat. Raekwon & Enrique Iglesias)
8. Another Hit Single (feat. Pharrell & Justin Timberlake)
9. R.E.D. [Really Envy Dre] (feat. Dre*)
10. Ciroc & Pantees [No Typo] (feat. will.i.am & Pharrell)
11. Blood Niggaz (feat. Drake & Marc Anthony)
12. Nas Approved [Interlude] (feat. Nas)
13. Cali Hovito (feat. Solange)
14. Be Original (feat. Fat Joe, Ja Rule & Big Sean)
15. The Autobiography of Christopher Shakur (feat. Sean Kingston)
16. Prayer [Outro] (feat. DMX & Ma$e)

Bonus Tracks:
17. 1,000 Bars Pt. 1 (feat. Pink)
18. 1,000 Bars Pt. 2 (feat. Trey Songz)
19. 1,000 Bars Pt. 3 (feat. Jamie Foxx)
20. Soo Woo 2011 (feat. Lil Wayne, Jim Jones, Drake & Fergie)

*Of Cool & Dre

Soulja Boy - The Malcom Luther Bojangles Way

1. Ha-Coon-A Matata (feat. Gucci Mane)

2. Sperm That Hoe

3. Twerk It Like A Jackhammer

4. Do It Xtra Plenty

5. G5 Negroes (feat. 50 Cent)

6. Snap Ya Caps

7. Niggalicious (feat. Riff Raff SODMG & V-Nasty)

8. Drive My Lambergeeny

9. Bojangle That Hoe

10. Whoop Yahh Brrrr (feat. Birdman)

11. Do It So Swag Big

12. Potato That Hoe

13. Dat Chicken n Dat Watermelons (feat. Arab)

14. Swag Tha Economy

15. Young, Rich & Inteligence (feat. Bow Wow, Lil B & Shawty Lo)

Ayo this my public apology to Chris Brown n his fans son....

2011-07-27T14:33:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Volcano Hands Deini aka the Archbishop of Fresh namsayin. Word. Yesterday I was chillin at my rest jus mindin my own business... havin my turkey links n raviolis nahmean.... I hopped on twitter to see what was happenin in the world of muthafuckas not doin nothin productive wit they lives n...all a sudden my mentions was gettin ambushed by some broads talmbout:

"@BoomShakalaka07 @BigGhostfase Wats All This Stuff About Yu Hatin On Drake?! I Wanna Know Yur Side The Story Before Goin To Any Conclusions?!"

"@BreezyTygaress@BigGhostfase who the fuck are you anyways? Pussy bitch you can't even spell with your crusty ass! Hatin on people who don't know you alive!"

"@Miss_Colombiana  #TeamBreezy this nigga aint shit @BigGhostfase he jus mad cuz they can get pussy nd he can't even get none...."

"@iTeamDrizzy @BigGhostfase You really need to shut the fuck up saying Drake is a 'soft' rapper. You really have no life if this is what you do for life."

"@iTeamDrizzy@BigGhostfase's twitcon is so fucking ugly."

"@ChrisBrownCurls @BigGhostfase #YouSofterThanBabyPuppies Mah Dude . . Chris Shit's On Ya Life"

"@Lauryn_xoxo Who the fuck is this Hoodrat?! lol @Bigghostfase Negroe please @chrisbrown an his RAPPING! shits on your life , maybe you get one first ."

"@uSHOUT_Breezy I'm really glad @BigGhostfase is RT'ing everyone's tweets. Mabye...hopefully,he realizes how much of a dick he is."

"@JusJeaninne @BigGhostfase u most be bored to even try and talk shit about @chrisbrown lik #teambreezy aint gonna come at u...SERIOUSLY

"@RcheeeyOVOXO  @BigGhostfase who the fuck you think you are! Dick rider

Also...cant forget bout...

"@_shaebreezy_  @BigGhostfase fuck you"

Then this dude rite here---> ....who was speakin in leprechaun I think... started sayin shit like...

"@Zaccc_Drizzy @BigGhostfase oi mate your just way too jel"

Also...

"@Zaccc_Drizzy @BigGhostfase tut up bean ed"

I started thinkin yooooo maybe I AM hatin on these little light skinned niggas....n maybe Breezys rappin DOES shit on my life...n maybe I AM ugly son....maybe I AM tut up bean ed or whatever the dude speakin leprechaun was talkin bout. I dont kno b.

"Guess what I been doin?"

All I kno is Tone is gon try n improve hisself n become a better man yo. I want all 13 or 14 of my seeds to be proud of the nigga thats sendin those checks to they various mothers b. When the gods walkin down the street I want niggas to stop n say "Ayo....there go a made nigga rite there...let him thru" namsayin.

"Splash! Splash! Splash! Splash!"

Now a lotta yalls is gon say AYO I THINK THIS NIGGA TONE SCARED but it aint even like that g. I respect artists n they artistry n if I step outta line Im man enough to say chill. If the god need to chill he can accept that. Word is bond. So Imma man up n accept my faults son. It aint bout tossin THIS nigga off a rooftop or slappin THAT nigga thru a wall all the time b. Sometimes a nigga gotta reflect on his actions n ask hisself..."whats REALLY good yo?"...namsayin. When one a Breezys fans hit me wit this rite here tho....

....it really made me think yo. It actually made me think bout 2 things b. It made me think 1. Wow...this broad actually jackin my style to insult me n 2. Dammm yo.... Breezy fans is like infants n shit son. So I aint really respond to a lot a the shit that was bein said namsayin. Not outta disrespect for #TeamBreezy...but more cos I aint wanna get into it wit muthafuckas that still get they information from Elmo son.

"I give this blog two snaps in a circle"

Anyways yo...I dont really got much else to say nahmean. One last time....I apologize to Breezy n his fans. Also to Tyga....my bad big homie. I never shoulda said that you look like a "transgender Vietnamese prostitute that got abducted by aliens n was cloned but never really finished the process of turnin hisself into a actual human n shit". I dont think thats really true big homie.

"Im glad we jus look like normal muthafuckas too son"

Anyhow I hope this cleared some shit up. Shoutouts to #TeamBreezy , #TeamTyga n #TeamAubrey Hopefully we can all learn to coexist peacefully n shit namsayin. Spread love yall.

Aight peace.

"Im sorry too Tone"

Exclusive: Game dropped his latest apology song....'Dear Jay-Z'

2011-07-24T23:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Jay-Z - Game

(whispering) Dr Dre.....

Dear Jay...you probably upset bout Uncle Otis
But it ain't that serious, I still think ya one a the coldest
I remember workin on Documentary with Doc
As in D-R-E.....not the homie D.O.C....

'Bout two years after you had dropped the Black Album,
that faggot nigga Fifty jus dropped his first wack album
Me n Doc was in the studio....... makin' a classic...
....the next Reasonbale Doubt, Ready To Die, n Illmatic,

..The Chronic, All Eyez On Me, Wu-Tang Forever,
What's Going On, Purple Rain, n Thriller all mixed together
Dre told me I was the next Rakim....mixed with Pac,
6 years after my nigga Wayne dropped The Block Is Hot

I was tellin' Dre it'd be ill if you would jump on a track
So I got ya number from Em....but you wasn't hollerin' back
I jus figured I aint dial the right number...so I told 'Ye
And I read that number to him.......he said it was OK

So I dialed it again....you picked up, n I was sayin'
"Yo what the deal, playboy..." n you said "who dis, Dame?"
Then I was like "Nah this Game", n you was like "who?"
And I was like "Game"....................n you was like "who?"

I explained who I was n shit...tryna be humble
But a second later, ya musta been drivin' thru a tunnel,
cos the phone got cut off.......so I called back to check it
and I heard "Yeah this Jay, I ain't here, please leave a message"

So I left a message sayin "Yo Jay, it's me again, holla"
I remember cos I called from da homie Snoop's Impala
Then I spit the first verse from 'Moment Of Clarity',
pressed pound n left the message as urgent, cos yo apparently,

I figured you would call me back, n we would laugh about it,
n probably become good friends, n maybe rap about it
But I ain't heard back at all...that kinda upset me
I was thinkin' 'we hit it off on the phone...how he forget me?'

But apparently you was jus usin' me, n you was finished
Like when Caine left cousin Harold in the street, dyin', in Menace
So I spit that line 'bout you on Westside Story
Saw Kanye n asked if he had said hi for me

And whether you had asked 'bout me, he said "sorry"
So I was thinkin 'yo, this nigga Jay might start to ignore me'
Felt like the homie Face.... my mind was playin' tricks on me
Poured a glass of the Henny, thought' a couple sips'd calm me

The same time I left G-unit n got it crackin',
is when Lindsay Lohan left rehab, but had to go back in
What up to Lamar Odom...guess him n Khloe is solid
Heard she use to fuck Rashad McCants, before he holla'd

I was doin some shows out in Europe, but what amazed me
was when I had the whole muthafuckin' crowd screamin "Fuck Jay-Z"
Tried callin' you at home, no answer, like you was mad
Called Just Blaze n he said that he had just left ya pad

So I called da homie Quik, to see if he knew ya email
He said yeah, but he'd call back after gettin' head from this female
Turns out... the chick was his girl Cookie's sister
But she never found out which is good cos she'd be pissed huh?

I was bumpin' that Mobb Deep, Buck was rollin' the weed
When I sent you a couple emails, that I'm pretty sure you received
Cos I checked the status n yup....just like I was hopin'
It said 'messages delivered' n that 4 of them had been opened

This was back before Big Sean blew up...what up Drake?
But you never emailed back...R.I.P. to da homie Nate
Never got a reply at all, Jay............ I was like 'damn...'
'Maybe them shits went to his junkmail or he thought it was spam'

Called Irv Gotti, said "sup with Jay, yo have you heard from him?"
He said "nah, not in like a year", I'm thinkin...'the nerve of him'
Glad Irv got acquitted tho.... he done with the streets
but he still keep a gat in the stash box under his seat

But Jay, you shoulda called, if you had to admit sumthin'
Instead you ignore me even tho I aint did nothin'
But it's cool, n by the way, Fifty, I'm still with you
Fuck the beef, nigga I miss you, n thats just bein' real wit you

Watch for Detox, I been helpin Dre with that one
RED Album is next, might make it a triple album
But like DMX said, yo Jay, get at me dog
And look out for my upcomin' joint, 1000 Bars........DRE!

Big Ghost presents....the latest inductee into the Soft Nigga Hall Of Fame

2011-07-20T22:29:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy Tone Starks aka Mighty Tusks namsayin. Ayo the god back wit another inductee for the Soft Nigga Hall Of Fame nahmean. Before we unveil jus who the latest recipient of this honorable distinction is n shit...Imma give you a breakdown of how elevated this nigga pillow game is. This softboiled nigga right here been blazin trails for creamsicle ass niggas all over the world for years now yo. If you think you built for this soft nigga'rin shit n wanna be amongst the most elite n softest niggas n have that rep for yaself like that....you got a long ass way to go if you aint THIS nigga rite here son. Word bond...this nigga weighs in at approximately 80 lbs n is delicate enough to use to polish the hood of ya car nahmean. You can use this nigga rite here to buff ya hood without scratchin the paint n give that shit a serious luster b. This nigga can shoot a string of lotion outta his wrists like he Spider Man namsayin. Son could find a broad that another nigga done left assed out n roll up n save her before she even has a chance to pull out her phone n air her ex nigga business out via her twitter n her facebook status. This nigga will recycle the fuck outta ya leftovers b. Son will sit at the table next to you at Burger King n not have no food n jus wait for you to finish so he can check to see if any french fries fell onto ya tray nahmean. Then he gon take those fries home in his pocket n wrap them individually in newspaper n have those as snacks for the next week. He gon take pictures wit those fries n write poems bout how tasty they is n shit like that. Basically he gon act like he aint never experienced a got dam french fry in his life n flaunt that shit to the world namsayin. In case you aint figure it out the french fry is like a metaphor for how this nigga is a sucka when it comes to a broad nahmean. Real talk yo. Ever wonder what desperation would look like if it was a livin breathin muthafucka wit a pulse n shit like that? Well you in luck son cos it would look like this nigga rite here yo. Nevermind the fact that son got his coonasizer set to "Mantan" at all times a day...this nigga also makes sucker for lovin a muthafuckin artform yo. The nigga is at the absolute pinnacle of softness b. Son is like the Kobe Bryant of whipped ass niggas. This nigga jus said "no thanks" when they was handin out dignity at the door n walked rite into a lifetime of wackness n coonery son. Son aint got one cell in his body containin anything close to self respect yo. This nigga got zero decorum or pride or anything else to do wit not bein a bitchass muthafucka. This is jus summa the dumb shit that the nigga done uttered in the short time he been in the public eye yo......

“Being single doesn’t necessarily mean you’re available. Sometimes you have to put up a sign that says ‘Do Not Disturb’ on your heart.”

"Don't go, how to live my life without you, i just don't know...."

“Whenever you call baby I’ll roll up.....”

"@DaRealAmberRose awww baby ur the best little munchy wunchy crunchy girl in the world"

In other words yo....

So without further ado ya man P-Tone would like to present to yalls the newest inductee into the Soft Nigga Hall Of Fame.....

Wiz Khalifa-Rose

Congratulations nigga. You in a class that only the human estrogen shake Aubrey can fuck wit you in. Yall muthafuckas is like the Muhammad Ali n George Foreman of soft niggas. If yall niggas ran towards eachother n collided there would jus be a big splash n both yall niggas would be gone....n all that would be left is a puddle of lotion n some tight ass clothes on the ground n the aroma of turmoil. Anyway I aint got nothin personal against him but Imma probably have to slap the shit outta son jus based off principle alone when I see the nigga. Like I told him before...I might gon have to do some harm to him jus to restore virtue or some shit like that nahmean. So Wiz....Im gon braid ya arms together when I see you son.
Aight peace.

Ayo I think another joint from the Carter IV leaked son...

2011-07-18T00:45:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy P-Tone aka Volcano Hands namsayin. Word is bond I decided to let some more a these classic Carter IV bars loose son. Ayo son these niggas straight bodied this shit nahmean. Like I said tho...I aint got the track names...n I dont even kno if this joint gon be on the album for sure for sure but they spat some crazy darts on this shit either way yo. Thats my word. Personally I think they should call this shit Hebrew Steroids. Matter fact ayo Weezy if you readin this shit you got Tones blessins if you wanna use that aight. Cos this shit go hard b. But Hebrew Steroids kinda makes niggas think ayo word these niggas bout to go in...even when they aint heard the song yet namsayin. Cos if yall niggas go wit some shit like Money Out The Ass that shit jus sounds like all the other shit out there namsayin. Niggas need some original song titles like how I be doin it g. Word yo. Anyways I hope yall can see how epic this shit gon be based off the words alone nahmean. I aint even gon say no more.

Aight peace.

Hebrew Steroids - Lil Wayne feat. Drake & Rick Ross

Drake:

Niggas know me bwoy, I'm the fuckin rap madonna

But maybe even bigger, I'm the fuckin cat's pajamas

Niggas sayin "pause", fuck it tho, no commas

Degrassi High alumni, bitch I bring the dramahhhs

I say...

I say.....

Niggas takin shots like I aint gon reply, wow

Talkin bout my pudgy ass waist n fuckin eyebrows

Talkin bout my feminine traits, n my guy blouse

This shit come so easy I don't even gotta try now

Whip ya hair girl, do it like you Willow - watch

N holla if you need a neck rub or some pillow talk

I can make you giggle yeah, make it wiggle lots....

N girl I can lick erry iddy biddy widdle drop...

Call me Mr Montana...

Respected like Tony n I can sing like Hannah

Think you got a bad bitch? betcha that I'm badda

Anything I wanna do I CAN.......ada

Yeah

Call me Young Flashy, no camera

Tell my mama its her 'and her son'.........pamela

So jus give ya boy a kiss mom

N Kiss the game bye nigga, MUAH.....mo' lip balm!

Ugggghhhh!

Hook:

Money out the ass...m-m-money out the ass

Money out the ass...m-m-money out my ass, nigga

Rick Ross:

Urrhh!

Bawse!

7,000 carats n my Audemaaar.....

Monte Carlo vacation - Au revoir.....

Got my nigga Tunechi wit me by tha bar

Snatch Drizzy n it's a wrap....Carter 4

Want Rozay on the track, gotta pay me cash

Bugatti got the green eyes, call it Stacy Dash

Got about 30 those, you could the math

Want a thousand keys or mo, you know who to ask

Bought a couple Renoirs....mo Da Vincis

Leather sofa color purple, call it Oprah Winfrey

Got platinum handlebars on the ten speeds

Diamonds on the spokes.....tiger skin seats

Got dollars piled in boxes to the fuckin ceilin

12 figure paychecks, what a fuckin feelin....

Pourin Ace of Spades in the bathtub....

9 bitches in it wit me, give me back rubs

Casanova Rawse......get my LeVert on

Eatin dinner at Nobu wit no shirt on...

Niggas wanna see me go, it's the pay back

Went from C.O. to C.E.O. ...Maybach!

(Hook)

Lil Wayne:

Ayeaack!

It's muh tuuuuurhnnn nigkuh!

It's Young Tune, the young king, the young goon

Young Money, Cash Money, we some young coons

...short for tycoons, bring the storms n typhoons

straight to ya fugkin radio n iTunes

We the fastest cars nigguh, watch how we vrooooom

Drizzy is the black rose, watch how he bloom

Nicki is the queen, nah she dont need no groom

Gudda Gudda real good witta mop n those brooms

Tyga makes sure my wheels sparkle like a muhhhh

The rest uh my nigguhs cry, sweat, n shed bluuhhd

Soo woop nigguh, we the nigguhs in the cluhhhb

Carter Carter Carter, nigguh, guess what I duz?

Nigguhs say ya cant buy talent or buy love

Nigguh I did both...ahma muhhfugkin stud

Ayeachk...

Y'all big? I'm colloshish

Straight from the swamp bwoy, look at these galoshes

Good gosh it's the muhhfugkin bawse wit me

Weezy F. n the F is for FILOSSuphee

Drizzy hang wit a nigga like apostropheees

We the shit nigguh...call us the colostomies....

Haaaaaachkk!

Young Monay!

I gaaaaaaawwwhhhhht this nigkuhhhhh!

(Hook)

Ayo I think a joint from the Carter IV leaked son...

2011-07-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup its ya boy Pretty Tony aka Zeus Hands bringin yall that shit direct from the mighty hammers of Thor namsayin. I cant say how yo...but ya boy was able to get his hands on advance copies of a few joints off that nigga Lil Waynes Carter IV album nahmean. Ayo summa the joints was crazy b...I aint even gon lie. Look like the nigga tryin to get his spot back after that How To Love bullshit son. But yo this joint rite here was incredible g...The god nearly spat out his ziti when he heard this shit yo. Niggas jus kept killin the track n spittin they darts namsayin. Word is bond yo. But I aint wanna fuck that nigga doe up like that so I aint gon jus leak that shit nahmean. But I got my nigga Alvin from the barbershop to transcribe this shit so that yall could at least get a sneak peak at this namsayin...good lookin out par. Anyways I dont even kno what these joints is named cos I aint got no tracklist...n this joint aint got no hook nahmean. But I think they should call this one "Crocodile Sweatsuits" son....cos that shit sound tough namsayin. Word.

Aight peace.

Crocodile Sweatsuits

Lil Wayne feat. Jadakiss, Nas & Shyne

Jadakiss:

If they ask about Kiss, life's ok I ain't deat yet

the Benz got a fridge n microwaves in the head rests

When you actually are great, brother'll stay amazed

So catch me in a R8, the color of mayonaisse

Rockin a blue mink, same one that the gats be in

Chick on my arm lookin like a Kardashian

Catch me ridin a jetski on the Belize coast

With 3 hundred bricks gettin chased by police boats

Niggas might try to rob me, cos the dope is pure as hell

N I'ma catch a battery charge like a duracell

When the tools come out, sorry niggas'll all scatter

Come thru in a 'Rari, same color as gall bladders

Might push a Autobot, or a Decepticon

Plus I get that paper thats the color of leprechauns

Its J to the muah, no homo, forever stay

Catch me in a Phantom the same color as pepper spray

In-ter-ior the same color as Corn Flakes

I keep it rock hard like the niggas in porn tapes

No homo, dont get it twisted fam

I come thru in a Lambo the color of Christmas ham

Ya chick might force herself not to admire Jase

Cos the Porsche got a bear skin rug n a fireplace

I been had money, headin toward killer rich

The Garage startin' to look like the import dealership....ahaaaaaaa!

Nas:

Through the finest coochies n buttholes, Nas will forever touch those

The kid's Gucci ruffles while bitches lookin' to fuck yo

NY to down south, where they use to whip Tobey

QB Wan Kenobi, in the projects I holds heat

The don is back, left my Fila rack at the laundromat

Eatin' shrimp scampi wit mobsters while y'all dine wit rats

Barbara Walters interviews, y'all too miniscule for my tennis shoes

Been around the world, n still the illest dude

What the bloodclot, that little nigga from that went from

...sellin' in these drug spots to felony mugshots

To smashin' these Penelope Cruz bitches, it's too vicious

The Q-Bridge is where my fam n crew visits

The kid done popped bottles wit Farrakhan n smoked haze

wit my fella Mandela....yall still been amazed

I'm like Martin Luther Corleone, intelligent gangsta

Peaceful revolutionist, I never go bankrupt

Militant minded, but got time still to grind wit

purdy women, they love the kid - watch my divine-ness

I shine wit the sword of Moses, chop the heads off a dead roses

do this for the pimps, hustlers, n hoes's

And that aint all, yall know the kid humanitarian

I do this for dead babies, crackheads n Nigerians

aliens, mothers, bitches gettin' cesareans,

waitresses, models n other wild barbarians...

Shyne:

Fuckin wit ...

Moshe Leviy...y'all get opened easy

Heard "shalom" on the phone when I spoke to Weezy

He said these niggas sayin Shyne's a meshugener

Oy vey iz mir! Think these niggas is shooken up

Went from cookin' up, flippin' bricks, n zippin' up

Now I jus flip thru the Torah, Talmud n Mishna

Moshe's the commissioner, y'all niggas is yentes

But niggas only ran they mouths when I was sent up

Y'all got some chutzpah to think y'all can touch da

level I have, but I wish you hatzlachah

Y'all know that Shyne is the truth, whether I'm in the the booth

or havin' a blintz with some baba ghanoush

Niggas been had wars since Sodom n Gomorrah

Fuck wit Po, I light this bitch up like menorahs

Think cos I fucks wit halachah that I won't duel you?

But I'm still gangsta, dont let the yamaka fool you

Still see me in the club wit these hoes n strong liquor

I still puff that smoke, but I chill on Yom Kippur

Still got my ties to the mob, I'm among skippers

Still put a bullet in ya stomach, lungs or liver

Imma bury y'all niggas, that's why I keep my weapons

even at the synagogue, won't catch me schleppin'

Really tho, r-r-r-really tho, I'm the boss

Y'all niggas think its Shabbat (gunshots)......mazel tov

Lil Wayne:

*lighter sounds*

Mmmm...Young Muhnehh....

Ya diiiiig....

Guess what the cat dragged in? I mean the jag-rah

Cash Monay, Young Monay, don't need no Viagra

Nigguhs think they hot....I'm the muhhfuggin magma

Married to the game, but I'm a muhhfuggin badch-luhh

These niggas aint hard, they jus wanna ag tuhhf

ag tuhhf, yeahhh....actin pussay get ya smahhged up

Spin my own web....hyeahh...call me a tuh-ranch-luhh

You a groupie nigga, join my muhhfuggin fan cluhhb

I'm ballin' while you nigguhs goin bank-ruhhbt

I'ma set sail while y'all still pullin anchors

Thanks bruh.....this is the apocah-lepps

Carry the whole world...you can see it in ma quah-druh-sepps

.....N if life is a box a cho-cuh-letts

I'ma eat the whole fugkin box....like it's broc-uh-leh

Pass me the gun n umma cock it bechk

It'sYoung Tunechi nigguh......I jus chop yuh nehhk

Hyahhck....we dramatic like the op-er-uhhs

Niggas cain't see us wit magical bin-ach-u-luhhs

...Get ya ass dropped like a hockeh puck

Catch me on the Dow Jones, muh stock is up

........N this here is my house

The booth is my fiance, the game is my spouse

Hoes gimme milk, I ain't gotta the buy cows

I'm half of Drake's forehead nigguh.....I browssse.....

The 3rd Annual 10 Softest Niggas In The Game

2011-07-07T00:01:00.000-07:00

Ayo whattup yall its ya boy Tony Starks aka The Black Bolo Yeung aka Volcano Hands Deini nahmean. Its that time a year again when we discuss all the softest niggas in the game namsayin. Word is bond. Yall already kno how it go. We gon push the reset button on this one tho nahmean. So that means that even if a nigga was featured in the 1st n 2nd lists he still eligible to be mentioned on this list namsayin. Cos theres jus some muthafuckas that need to be recognized for all they efforts n they talents more than others son. So on that note...

10. Drizzy Drake

Surprise niggas! Ya boy Young Angel is bizzack like he forgot his lip balms. Ayo yall remember the reactions niggas had when they seen those pictures that the nigga Jay-Z threw up on the Summer Jam screen of Prodigy dressed up like Mike Jackson? Niggas looked at that shit like it was pictures of son doin cartwheels in a bikini yo. Niggas thought that niggas career got dealt a deathblow wit that shit nahmean. N maybe it did kinda shake my nigga up namsayin....I dont know. But in the meantime this merry little muthafucka right here got pictures of hisself sittin on broads laps n more pictures of hisself embracin other dudes than any nigga known to man...n he STILL goin on wit life like that shit all good. Cos aint nobody SHOCKED when they see the sus nigga wit liquid vagina flowin thru his veins doin that shit namsayin. Niggas practically EXPECT that shit from son namsayin. But when you compare the MJ costume to this Farnsworth Bentley of Middle Earth look....you really cant see nothin that wrong wit the Prodigy pictures no more son. Either way...when it comes to Aubs you are lookin at the most softboiled creature on Gods green earth yo. This niggas music is so light in the ass that if you look real close at ya speakers when you playin his joints you can see tiny little heart bubbles comin outta em son.

9. Big Sean

I buy a lot a music son so it aint unusual for Tone to end up coppin shit n then givin it away or throwin it out the window while Im drivin n shit namsayin. I try to give niggas a chance. I even held this niggas cd in my hand n looked at it like I dont kno.... should I drop 8 bucks on this shit n give son a clean slate? I ended up puttin it down n coppin the Curren$y joint after I came back to my senses n shit tho. But I ended up hearin it anyway namsayin. To be honest wit yalls...I was kinda feelin most those beats. But I cant get past this niggas rhymin yo. What really had me shakin my head n questionin the niggas sanity was son had the nerve to call those bars he spit on the BET awards wit them other g.o.o.d. music niggas the "verse of the year". Like forreal forreal....this nigga is outta his fuckin mind son. Nigga said in plain english "tell me that wasnt verse of the year" on his So Much More joint. That shit wasnt even the verse of that cipher son....nevermind year! Its possible that the only nigga that didnt spit nicer bars was Kanye. But I think that nigga Ye actually went off the head wit summa that shit. To make shit even worse tho the nigga Kanye recently said "What Beyonce is to R&B...Big Sean can be to rap." That is a quote son. In reality this nigga aint got a original bone in his body so he aint gon ever be the Beyonce of rap....but how his own boss comparin him to broads yo? Yeah yeah I kno niggas heard sons supa dupa shit n ran wit it...................... baton. But other niggas was doin that shit when Medium Sean was still a fetus anyways yo. Go ask Sean Price. Either way tho....it aint like I hate this nigga. But he need to stop the diva shit n all the talk bout wantin to be famous n jus make some decent music or some shit nahmean.

8. Kanye West

Now I got nothin but love for the nigga Yeezy nahmean. I jus wanna make that shit very clear yo. Son is a genius n he a muthafuckin animal when he get in the studio namsayin. That nigga will bite the head off a dove when he in the booth son. Son aint really the most lyrical nigga on earth like that...but he got a lot of heart n charisma namsayin. Nevermind what that nigga do when he behind the boards son....I aint even gotta tell you he gets busy g. I love this niggas music son. BUT this muthafucka done put on womens garments one too many times to not get called out for it son. This niggas drivin his gender mobile in the middle of the freeway wit no regards for which way the traffic is goin AT ALL b. This nigga aint jus gon be rockin the entire Chanel spring collection n not catch no flack for that shit nahmean. The nigga dont only throw on a couple questionable accessories here n there tho...he actually dresses straight up in shit that was designed for broads like he jus dont give a fuck namsayin. I cant condone that shit son. I been known to rock some elegant shit from time to time too son but this nigga done put the flame back in flamboyant yo. That shit aint even unisex my nigga. Cmon son. Crossdressin aint fly son. Fuck is you doin Ye?

7. J. Cole

Now before all yall Cole stans who been lookin past this nigga's boring ass songs for years start cryin over this shit like you in a Trey Songz video....hear me out yo. I kno the nigga can spit. I kno he got a couple dope production wins under his belt too. But despite all that....its like this niggas been readin from Memphis Bleek's book on '100 Ways To Fail Even When Ya Mentor Is The Biggest Nigga In Hip Hop' all this time son. Also why this nigga always gotta have a facial expression lookin like somebody jus stole his bike n shit? Is this nigga capable of a genuine moment of happiness yo? I dont think so son. This niggas own shadow gets depressed from hangin round his bitter ass. But when he do try n make some party type shit for the broads that shit jus ends up soundin unnatural as fuck anyway. For example the niggas got absolutely no clue what he spose to be doin on shit like Work Out. Son was like...."Uhhh...bitches love old Paula Abdul shit...Imma jus sing some old Paula Abdul shit rite here..." n lost his composure all over that shit yo. Lets jus accept the fact that the nigga is too emotionally delicate to pull this shit off. Son aint the second comin of Nas like niggas was hypin him up to be. Nas was on like 4 joints before he dropped. his first album. 2 of those shits ended up on Illmatic. Illmatic had 10 tracks. 1 a those tracks was a intro. You see where Im goin wit this? This nigga got like 40 to 50 joints out n his label still aint NOWHERE ready to drop a album based off what he givin em. I wanna see this nigga win but its lookin like he need to call his next mixtape False Alarm. Tone feels ya pain Jigga.

6. Lil Wayne

I aint never really had no problems wit Weezy namsayin. But son is forcin niggas hands yo. We see pictures of son french kissin Baby....niggas pardon that. He allows Nicki Minaj to release music n hop on remixes 5 times a day for the last 2 years...niggas pardon that. He allows wack ass Gudda Gudda to continue to eat....niggas pardon that. Drake............we pardoned that. He even puts out a bullshit ass "rock" album.....n niggas pardoned that too. But when that nigga set foot in the booth to croon a ballad called "How To Love"....n expected niggas to really not take offense to the shit he was doin....ayo Wayne we got problems now son. Somebody needs to go stomp the braids off this niggas head yesterday son. This shit is NOT okay yo. How you gon jus out-soft that nigga Drizzy anyway? I thought yalls was family nahmean. You kno damm well thats ya boys lane. But you even took it further than him. I mean that nigga Aubrey got his own set of feminine tendencies to cope wit but he aint never sat down n sang a whole fruity ass love ballad over some Wyclef bathin in the waters of his idols type guitar chords n shit son. You really went too far nigga. Son you was a animal back in like '04 to '07. Bring back that nigga or some shit son.

5. Soulja Boy

Aka the 2011 Mr Bojangles. This nigga also deserves recognition as the coon of the decade namsayin. I dont even kno how muthafuckas listen to this niggas music....nevermind callin that shit hip hop. If it was 1930 this nigga would be rockin a necklace made of chicken legs n pigs feet n be tap dancin on watermelons for a livin. Anyways...sons music is only technically hip hop....like drinkin a beer wit a straw n a umbrella in the bottle is technically drinkin a beer namsayin. Hidin behind 50 Cent wont protect you from ya own bitchassness tho son. This nigga been germinatin in the garden of wackness for a hot minute now. This nigga done splashed hisself wit enough water from the fountain of coonery to last 12 lifetimes. Stop givin this nigga a pass jus cos he young. Muthafuckin Run DMC was around this niggas age when they made King Of Rock yo. LL Cool J was on his first comeback when he was this niggas age yo. NWA made Fuck The Police when they was this niggas age son. You cant hide behind youth forever you clown ass muthafucka. If I see you Imma smack the slaves outta you nigga. Its open season on you son.

4. Bow wow

This nigga rite here is a human bellybutton son. The only form of touch this nigga is capable of is a caress namsayin. Fuck outta here wit the fake Nino Brown shit too you shrimp cocktail ass nigga. This little muthafucka jus refuses to let his career die wit some honor or dignity nahmean. Word is bond this nigga is his own worst enemy too yo. The last time anybody took this nigga serious Lil Kim was still mostly made of human body parts son. Callin this nigga a clown would be givin him too much credit nahmean. If I see the nigga Imma slap his head n torso off his legs. Word is bond. Ayo Bow Wow you better stay ya bitch ass out the gods way son. If I see you Imma throw all 80 pounds of you as far as I can off the top of a buildin n then run down the stairs n hop in my whip n chase you as you flyin across the sky n hit you wit my car jus as you bout to land n then smash the whip into a brick wall son. You been warned son.

3. Tyga

This nigga looks like a transgender Vietnamese prostitute that got abducted by aliens n was cloned but never really finished the process of turnin hisself into a actual human n shit so he came out lookin like he do...but he still part alien n only kinda human lookin now namsayin. Or some shit like that. Son looks like Wiz Khalifa n Dennis Rodman's love child or some shit son. But that aint even the problem wit this nigga g. This niggas music sounds like shit you hear when you see a geisha twirlin ribbons in the air n shit namsayin. To top it all off the nigga be lookin more suspect than two niggas sharin a hot dog from opposite sides n meetin in the middle nahmean. Am I the only one thats seein this shit? Son looks like a fuckin lesbian yo. The nigga probably marinates hisself in lotion for hours when he gets home son. Why is this nigga even here yo?

2. Yung Berg

Callin this nigga a failure is not givin him enough credit namsayin. Straight up. Technically this nigga has already mastered failure n moved on to the level that comes after failin tho. Son has evolved past bein a regular failin ass nigga. This nigga has developed his own science when it comes to that shit....its "quantum failure" nahmean. This nigga can fail without even bein awake yo. Son can fail in a dream n bring that shit back wit him to his conscious state namsayin. The nigga can inception fail his way thru life. The nigga can find the fail buried 4 levels deeper under the failure that you actually see. The nigga can fail about 78 times per heartbeat g. In fact by the time you finish readin this sentence the nigga will have failed approximately 468 times namsayin. This nigga is usin methods of failure that niggas aint even seen since the ancient Mayans n Egyptians was on earth still yo. This nigga is usin approaches to failin that brought upon the destructions of entire ancient civilizations son. Think its a game yo? This nigga takes his failure very fuckin seriously son. He dont want no failures happenin unless he involved. No chains snatched...no faces smacked...no nothin. A nigga falls off his bike in the park....he wants IN.

1. The many sides of Drake

This is a conflicted nigga rite here. If this aint a nigga wit a identity crisis I dont kno what is namsayin. First you got the Drake thats like the Taio Cruz of hip hop. The nigga got the most bitchmade voice on earth so its not like it takes son much effort to go FAM (Feminine As a Muthafucka) on a track. But then you look again n the niggas hollerin soo woo n twistin his fingers in all sortsa stupid ways while he takin a picture wit Jeezy. Then you hear the nigga promisin to wife any broad that glances in his general direction in a song. Then theres Drake who dont give a fuck bout a bitch or a hoe. Then theres Drake who will snuggle up in a broads lap n fall asleep. We all kno who the real Drake is but son wants to have his cupcake n eat it too namsayin. First off this nigga had approximately zero male role models in his household to look up to while he was growin up. So it aint came as no surprise to his moms when son had a Jack Sparrow walk n stuck his pinky out when he held his teacups. Son probably weighs about 190 or 200...n at least 50 of those pounds gotta be due to female hormones alone yo. But aint nobody mad at the nigga for all that effeminate shit. That cornball shit aint the facade. Its the fake ass shit that niggas cant look past namsayin. Ayo son...will.i.am. is a corny nigga too. That nigga Travie McCoy a corny nigga. Even Will Smith is a corny nigga. But those dudes stay in they own lane. They jus some pop niggas. So nobody got problems wit em. Even Nelly accepted that he was better off livin his life as a pop nigga n stopped talkin bout street sweepers n blowin weed in his hooks namsayin. But them dudes dont represent US as a culture like that. If this nigga wanna step up n be the face of hip hop n talk bout how he gon follow in the footsteps of niggas like Jay-Z then he better rep the culture correctly. Otherwise he need to take his Febreze-garglin, B-throwin, hoe-savin, bubblegum R&B ass home son. That bein said....

THE FIRST INDUCTEE INTO THE SOFT NIGGA HALL OF FAME IS..........

AUBREY DRAKE GRAHAM

Congrats to that nigga. He earned it namsayin. Before I wrap this shit up tho I jus wanna say that these little niggas need to stop talkin nonstop bout makin it someday n becomin successful n bein famous n all that nahmean. Niggas thats true to they hearts bout what they do jus make they art however they wanna make it son. The fame n all that is jus the benefits that come along wit stayin true to yaself. Eybody that raps wanna be famous n get money yo. Its been that way since Sugar Hill son. But niggas like Big Sean n that nigga J. Cole followed in the footsteps of that diva nigga Drake n made that shit the subject of half they songs yo. Cmon son. Niggas dont need to hear bout all that bitterness n that "Im bout to get on" shit on half the joints you makin n shit nahmean. Smarten up little niggas.