Amateurian

Not Just in Ferguson

2014-08-18T09:17:00.000-04:00

This weekend I read a pretty great article, written by a fellow White mom of Black children. Go read it here. Her message is important, and I'm glad she wrote it. But I was actually really shocked by her words. That any White parent of any Black child, hadn't heard these things? Astounding. It made me feel a lot of emotions and think a lot of thoughts. So I'm dusting off this blog to try and sort it all out.

First, I want to address the elephant in the room: Yes, I'm aware that many people, including the National Association of Black Social Workers, think that I have no right to parent a Black child. Their points are hugely valid. Because even though my family is multiracial (African American, Native American and Asian) I am not, in fact, a Black woman. My husband is 2nd Generation Dutch American. Because even though we have both been the only White household in our neighborhoods (he in SE DC and Little Haiti in Miami for me), we are not Black. Those people are right. I don't know how to teach my child to be Black in America. And this will be an issue. One we will navigate to the best of our abilities. But also know this: domestically adopted children are placed with their adoptive families by the birthparents. So 99% of White parents of domestically adopted Black children, were chosen specifically to parent that child. By that child's first mother. It is an honor, it is a blessing, it is scary as hell. In our family, we talk about race all the time, we read about it, we have no choice. It is such a presence in our lives, the Blackness of my daughter, talking about her beautiful hair and skin, caring for it, doing everything we possibly can so that she feels comfortable around people who look like her. We know we will fall short but we fight to get it right. And this is exactly why this article struck such a chord with me. Because apparently there are adoptive families out there who aren't aware of these kinds of things.

Let's step back in time a bit... 6 years or so ago we sat in our adoption classes, listening to adult transracial adoptees speak about their experience. I raised my hand and I asked about how to teach our children to navigate in the world. Because they'll not always be "that cute little Black kid with the White parents" and eventually they'll be a Black Man or Woman and that requires a different set of skills than those I must possess. I talked with the speaker about the fact that our children will be followed around stores and will be stopped by police. Not if... when. And then I slowly looked around the room and the other prospective parents sat there with mouths agape. Stunned silence. And, finally, one woman said, "I've never thought about that. I never thought about my child being Black." And then it was my turn to sit in stunned silence. I remember thinking, "Seriously? You are this far in the adoption process and you have NEVER thought about these things?" In another exercise we were given small bowls and then a small amount of beads. The beads were white, yellow, red, tan, brown and black. And the trainers asked us to add beads to our bowls according to the skin color of people in our lives/environment - doctors, friends, musicians you listen to, family members - and finally, the color your new child would be. Our little dish had many white beads, but also many beads in the various other colors. As I looked around the room I saw that the other bowls were full of white beads with a single black bead in the center. A bit crude, but clearly representative of the Black child in a sea of White people. And a little seed of dis-ease was planted in me.

In the last few years that seed has sprouted. I interact on a daily basis with other transracial adoptive parents via a few online groups. And I began noticing people asking things like, "Where do you get hair beads?" or, "My Target doesn't carry any 'ethnic' hair products." And then, when I respond that we just get our hair beads at the hair store, and I hear back that, "Oh, well, we live in Iowa. There are no other Black people here." It's like a punch to the gut. What? Really? Why?

I recognize it's not my place to question and I'm far from perfect on this journey, but I've been stunned in the recent years to hear about adoptive parents like this. Ones who've never considered their child as a Black adult in America. Who don't know any other Black people. Who don't even have access to appropriate hair products, let alone Black mentors for their children. In a betrayal of my own family, I've begun to edge closer to those who feel White people shouldn't adopt Black children. I find myself thinking, "What gives you the right?" What gives me the right? I don't have the answers. We've talked a lot about adopting from the foster care system... maybe a boy, between 4-6 years old. I've gone as far as stopping by the DHS office. I know the statistics. I know there is a need. I know that Black boys age out of foster care without ever being adopted at a staggering rate. But I'm scared. We don't know how to raise a Black man. We know how to raise a good man (hopefully!), but is that enough? Because even though we are doing our best with our daughter, I know that having White parents will fail her in some ways. Obviously having parents of any race is better than having no parents, but I struggle with my shortcomings in these areas. I worry that I won't know how to raise a little boy to know how to deal with the police properly. I worry that if my little boy grows up and sags his pants or wears a hoodie and goes for a walk... And I feel the burden of having to prepare a child for those eventualities without having had to experience them myself.

Which leads me to today. Today, not just in Ferguson, but in your neighborhood, a Black kid is being harassed by the police. Not just in Ferguson, but in your neighborhood, a Black woman is being followed around the store. Not just in Ferguson, but in your neighborhood, Black people are treated as suspects of crimes not yet committed. And to all parents of Black children - these are not just "someone" these are our sons, our daughters, our nieces and nephews. I want a better world for my children so please, stop demonizing Black men and sexualizing Black women. Please see that institutionalized racism exists in this country. And please try to make it better in your own world.

End Game

2014-06-02T10:08:00.001-04:00

Recently I've been doing a lot of thinking. About a range of topics, but mostly about life. Maybe it's my age (35) or maybe it's the age of my kids... I don't really know.

But what I do know is this: I am happy. I am content. I have a wonderful life. And I frequently take it for granted.

I'm in the middle of a big purge of possessions (more on that in another post!) and it's really had me examining my life. Who am I? What is my purpose? What does all this stuff mean to me? Big, existential, up in the night wonderings. I know I love to work. I love to be productive. I love to make money. And, like everyone, I am easily caught up in the business of more. More clients, more money, more house, more cars. Now, I've been just left with one question - Why?

Why do I want more money? If I am blessed enough to pay my bills, have savings and still live comfortably - what's the point of having more? Why do I want my business to be more successful? If we have more work than we can handle, if we have a great team of employees - should I want more? Why do I want a bigger house? If my home is already lovely and perfectly suited to my family - do I really need more house to clean or fill up with junk?

The answer to the question? Ego. I want it all to feed my ego. Nice house, nice cars, beautiful clothes and jewelry, successful business - past a certain point, it all just feeds my ego and inflates my sense of self.

And the bigger question that remains is this: Is that really who I want to be? Do I want to be someone who is respected for having a lot of money or a lot of things or for being thin or beautiful or having perfect children?

Not really.

I'd much rather be known and liked for who I am rather than what I have. The truth about MORE is that none of what goes into getting it and nothing about actually having it gives me more of what truly matters to me. More time with my family, more time to experience new things, more time to actually enjoy the life I'm living. In fact, the disease of MORE does the exact opposite. It steals your attention from today and gives it to the elusive "someday". It robs time from my children and my husband to be constantly taking care of possessions. It is a black hole of authentic living.

When I've dipped my toe into simplifying my life previously, I've gotten scared and backed off. Because I was confused about what a simple life would look like to me. Would I have to give up my TVs? My car? My schmancy refrigerator? How simple do these people expect me to get? But I what I finally realized is that I don't have to give up anything that is important to me. And that, in fact, by simply letting go of the dead weight, I'm free to more fully enjoy the nice things I have. It's an incredibly freeing concept!

While I'm trying to simplify my life, I'm also really trying to get present and stay present. So when I'm writing this post, I'm writing this post. When I'm making food for my family, I'm making food for my family. And by giving my deeds my full attention, they become less of a task and more of a pleasure. If I'm not constantly thinking about later - later tonight, later this week, later this year - I am more able to fully live in this moment. To really soak up what life is giving me. To really recognize my blessings.

Because at the end of this life, I will be satisfied to know I gave my full attention where it was needed. To know that I didn't live a life of somedays and maybes. And that by giving up the need for more things, I made room for more blessings.

So, how about you? Are you running the rat race of life, or are you living freely, unencumbered by dead weight? In my next post, I'm going to talk about the steps I'm taking to lighten the load!

To Your Health

2014-05-08T14:48:00.000-04:00

I'm not the avid blogger I once was. Sure, kids gets busy, business gets busy - life gets busy in general. But it's been more than that for me and I'd like to share why I've been so inconsistent.

Right around the time we adopted our youngest daughter (now 4) I started noticing that I wasn't feeling quite right. Just more tired than usual, my monthly cycles were a mess just like my seemingly pubescent skin, which had erupted with acne. I was 31 - certainly not too young for some hormonal shifting, but this felt extra.

So after some research, I started supplementing with an over the counter, natural Progesterone cream. It worked pretty well for me. But sometime between then and now, things got worse. Not in an "Oh! This is terrible!" sort of way, but rather in the way one falls asleep - little by little until you can't remember how it happened at all.

And this was me. 4 years later, I'd somehow gained 15 pounds, my skin was out of control, and my brain - well fuzzy just touches on it. I had completely lost my ability to think clearly or be decisive and I was frequently choosing the wrong words when I spoke. And lets talk about the fatigue. I felt first trimester pregnant all the time. It was like walking through molasses just trying to do basic daily tasks and then by 4:00 all I could do was lie in bed. Sounds awful, right? It was. But it happened so slowly, that I couldn't really see it.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did seek out advice from professionals during my yearly physicals. I'd ask to have things like hormones or thyroid tested, but the medical professionals never felt it was necessary. And instead of speaking up for myself, I trusted their opinions.

Dumb.

I'd blown off my yearly appointment in October of last year and when I finally remembered to make it, decided to try a different office. I'd been extremely happy with the midwife and gyn/ob who'd delivered my children, so I called them up and made an appointment. They got me in right away.

At that first visit - well - I was nearly in tears. Within minutes of describing my symptoms to my practitioner, she looked me right in eyes and said, "Don't worry. I have a few ideas about what might be happening, but before we go any further, let's have some lab work done." Seriously. Tears. Because after years of feeling like I was crazy, or lazy or both, this woman had actually listened to me. Heard me. Understood me. Hallelujah! So I left her office with an order for a complete (and I mean COMPLETE - vitamins, minerals, thyroid, hormones - everything!) workup and an appointment for two weeks later. I could hardly wait to get started.

When I went to the lab, they took 8 vials of blood! If you're squeamish - don't let this deter you - you could be saving your own life!

At the followup appointment, I got the results - critically low Vitamin D, nonexistent Progesterone (at a point in my cycle when it should be the highest) and a T3 conversion problem. Which means that my body makes enough TSH and T4, but doesn't convert it from T4 into the usable T3. My nurse practitioner went over how each issue could manifest through symptoms which was wonderful and useful knowledge.

My personal path included prescriptions for Naturethroid and Prometrium as well as a charge to take 10,000 IU of Vitamin D per day. I let the practitioner know that I was already taking 4000 IU per day, but she said some people are poor absorbers of Vitamin D and that she recommended building up over time. She asked to see me in two months and again, I left with a lab slip in hand - this time only to check my Vitamin D and Thyroid levels.

Fast forward 2 months - I'm back at the office. I've been feeling some better. Not a ton. I'm exhausted around 4:30 rather than 3... a little improvement... not much, though. At my first follow up appointment I heard that my Vitamin D levels had indeed gone up about 10 points. Considering I need them to go up about 90 more, it's encouraging, but hardly an overnight success. As for my T3 - it went down. Bummer. So my dosage was increased and away I went.

I'll be submitting my second set of labs next week and have my second follow up the week after. I don't know what my levels will be then, but I can tell you how I'm feeling. I feel good. I'm at about 80% of how I'd like to feel. Most nights I'm awake enough to still be active around the house at 8:00 - a huge improvement! Things that were overwhelming, like preparing a meal plan and making dinner every night are no longer confounding. In fact, our family has only eaten out twice in the last month, compared with at least 3-4 times a week previously because I was just too tired to deal with it. I feel relaxed, I feel capable and I'm even starting to feel on top of things again. I'm making far fewer verbal mistakes and have really been able to give a lot of attention to our company again. It is encouraging! There are still times when I feel drained - but a little exhaustion is alright when you've got three kids, pets, a home, a business and a marriage, right? More importantly, I feel fun again. I want to do things! Not just out of obligation, but because I'm enjoying things. My skin has cleared up and I've lost 5 pounds. As my levels continue to improve I'm excited to finally be feeling better and better.

I've already shared my story with my friends - in fact, quite a few of them have already made appointments with my office! But I wanted to share with the public because I think it's such an important topic. Everytime I would tell a doctor (yes, female doctors) how I was feeling, they'd be so dismissive, "Well, you have three kids! You should be tired!" They weren't listening to me and I really should've advocated for myself much sooner. I would encourage all women - listen to yourself. If you know there is something going on with you, and your doctor is unwilling to help - find a new doctor. Research. Ask friends. The difference between how I feel today and how I felt just 4 months ago is amazing. I got mad at myself for taking so long to find the path to wellness, but am just so thankful that I finally did. It will be the best thing you do for yourself - listen to your body, to your mind, to your spirit. Know that how you're feeling isn't the way it has to be - that there may be simple resolutions to your problems. But you need to find a healthcare professional you trust, who will advocate for you, who will run a most complete set of tests (there is tons of great research online regarding what types of tests to ask for, but I know most recommend a FULL thyroid (TSH, T4, T3, Free T4, Free T3), FULL hormones (Testosterone, Progesterone, Estrogen, Cortisol, Pregnenalone, etc.) and a FULL vitamin (Bs, D, A, etc.). You want as much information as possible so your course it very tailored to your specific needs.

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Laundry in One Hour a Week

2014-03-31T15:09:00.000-04:00

Ok. So some of you may have seen this on Pinterest. That's where I first discovered An Inviting Home - a really wonderful blog written by a woman far more organized and crafty than myself who also happens to have a family created through adoption. And I really love women like that. So you should totally check out her blog. It rocks.

When I saw this Pin on Pinterest I knew I had to investigate further. Less than 1 hour per week TOTAL??? I was tempted to call bs. We are a family of 5 and I feel like I spend ALLLLLLL of my time on laundry. Which I loathe. So I read on.... imagine my surprise when I realized that her laundry system is my laundry system. But, surely, I spend much more time than an hour a week on laundry... don't I?

I, too, have a laundry basket for each member of the family with an additional one for household items. Everyone in our family actually has two laundry baskets - one for dirty clothes and one for clean. So if our systems are nearly identical - what am I doing wrong?

Well, for one thing, I was still separating my clothes by color, even though I wash with cold water. And I also run my towels on the sanitizing cycle with bleach, you know, because of the MRSA. Well, certainly those things couldn't take up that much time, right?

This week I'm trying things the An Inviting Home way -

1. No sorting of the laundry - it's all going in together.

2. Laundry coming out of the dryer gets immediately sorted into each person's bin.

3. No folding (well almost no folding - the kids clothes don't get folded, but the adult's do).

4. Kids put away their own laundry.

And I'm timing myself. Every time I do laundry from today through Sunday, I'll be starting and stopping my stopwatch to see just how much time I actually do spend on laundry. Is it the perceived 700 hours a week I think it is or is it closer to an hour? Now remember, we're not counting actual cycle time - just hands on time. Stay tuned to find out!!!!

Come Here Often? Aldi Time!

2014-03-11T14:35:00.001-04:00

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I'm 35. I've been doing this wife/mom/business owner/blogger shtick for awhile now. And I thought I was pretty savvy. Like I really knew where to get the best deals on just about everything. But last summer I found out just how wrong I'd been.

I went to Aldi.

And my life would never be the same.

Let's back up a minute. My regular store (and the major grocery chain in my area) had been Meijer. A Meijer loyalist, through and through, I had convinced myself that Meijer was a kind of fantasy land. Anything you could ever want could be had at Meijer. And I felt the prices were fair.

It wasn't until my weekly grocery bill was exceeding $300 (!!!) that I started looking around for the hidden cameras and the tacky show host to pop out from behind the counter, letting me know I was on Candid Camera. Well, that never happened. When I put together my retrospective budget for 2012 and saw that I spent more on groceries than on any other single expense, I knew it was time for a change.

But what to do? I don't love the WalMart or Sam's Club. The nearest Costco is a 35 minute drive, but I bit the bullet and bought a membership. (Good news! They're opening one only about 10 minutes away this year! Ethically, Costco is a great company to support.) My mom and I drove up and stocked up on meat. Because I figured if I was going to be discount grocery shopping, I certainly wouldn't be buying the meat there. *shudder*

Chest freezer neatly stocked with assorted meat, the next step was obvious. The time had come. I had to go to Aldi. Let's just say I was not looking forward to the excursion. In my mind, Aldi was dirty, sold gross food and was full of shady characters. Basically like a back alley brothel for canned goods. I should note that my suppositions were baseless, since my Aldi is in a great part of town and is nearly brand new.

So I went. I drove in, got my quarter (for the carts - you pay for the cart and then get it back when you're done, but I like to leave my quarter for the next person - it feels like fun ;) and walked into the store. And I could not believe my eyes. It was just a regular store: bright, clean, normal. The first thing I noticed was that Aldi had LOADS of brand name foods right along with their Aldi brands. That was a surprise. Although I know enough about food processing plants to know that unless a brand puts on their label "this product not sold under any other name" that the same plants make all the graham crackers for all the brands. This is true across many items, so I've never really been afraid of off-brand items. But it was great to be able to find our usual brands of Kefir, Greek Yogurt and Cereal, among others.

The other thing that stands out is that the store is not large. That's because Aldi only sells a few options of each item, so rather than having and entire aisle of jellies and jams it has a small section. At first this kind of put me off - like most people I thought I was happier with more options. Now I value the limited selection. It used to take me at least an hour and a half to make it through Meijer, start to finish. I can do a week's shopping at Aldi in half an hour!

You're probably wondering about the quality of the food, right? I'm not going to sugar coat it... it's good. Like, delicious (even the meat and poultry). There's not been anything I've purchased yet that hasn't been tasty. And they carry organic items, too! From Kerrygold cheeses to fresh mozzarella to prosciutto - the selection has far exceeded my expectations. I recently realized that Aldi rotates their "special buys" so that one week the store will be stocked with organics, the next with Italian items, the next with something else.

But now for what really counts - yes the place is clean, the food widely varied and good quality, but is it worth the savings??? On my first visit I walked out of the store with a cart overflowing with grocery bags - the tally - $115. Yup. Nearly a third of what I'd been spending. Honestly, I was a little sick to my stomach just thinking of all the money I'd spent on groceries. So. Much. Money. From that day on, I've been an Aldi shopper. And a little bit of an Aldi pusher. I want everyone to be saving this much money! The most I've ever spent was $170, and my weekly grocery bill (for our family of 5 plus 3 pets) is regularly around $100 a week. My monthly grocery budget has gone from $1500/month down to $600/month - something I never even imagined was possible. And our pantry, refrigerator and freezer are full of great food - we're not missing out in any way! We have goat cheese and clementines and hummus and pita - I'm really able to buy the same foods I was buying at Meijer at a third the cost.

And there's something else, too. The Aldi workers are happy. They're friendly and efficient and helpful. And they check you out so quickly, you can barely keep up! Now I get irritable when I have to shop anywhere else - I love that I can get in and out quickly. The Aldi craze must be catching on, because I've noticed the clientele isn't what you'd expect, either. I expected to find a lot of people down on their luck or on a fixed income. But the people I see in Aldi are moms, young couples, professionals - people from all walks, really. And our Aldi is always insanely busy. So much so that they're building a new Aldi across town. I'm excited that even more people will get to experience Aldi!

So, what do you think? Would you consider switching to Aldi or a discount grocer?

Navy and Grey Boy's Room Mood Board

2014-02-19T12:48:00.001-05:00

1. nuLOOM Chevron Rug 2. Ektorp Armchair 3. Eclipse Thermal Lined Curtains

4. Barn Light 5. New York Digital Library Map Print 6. Kramare Wall Lamp

7. Pillow People Pillow Covers 8. Woolrich Lancaster Blanket 9. Bunk Beds

Last Summer we renovated our girls' rooms. I say renovated and not redecorated because there was actual construction happening in those rooms - it was 6 weeks of bedroom furniture in the living room and I realized that I'm our own worst client. All those times I've told people to be patient with the process and I couldn't wait to get the subcontractors out of our house! Our home is made up of a small, older part and a larger part we added about 9 years ago. The kids' rooms are all in the older section and all the rooms needed new windows, trim and some drywall. So we took that opportunity to finish our oldest daughter Ava's bedroom. And our son, Henry, has been complaining about that ever since. If this Winter ever ends, we'll be redecorating his bedroom, which has until now been just a compilation of old, leftover furniture and bedding. Womp, womp.

I've been looking through loads of pictures for inspiration. Check out my pinboard for his room. The walls in his room are board and batten and will stay white, so I don't mind bringing in two dark accent colors - navy and grey. And because I'm a total cheapskate and Henry will probably change his mind about how his room should look in the next few years, I really put this look together with a budget in mind.

I know the chevron look has been around for awhile, but I still love it. It's a perfect way to incorporate a fun print into a space for boys. I love this rug from Overstock - it comes in a zillion colors and sizes and is affordable, too. When we decorated Ava's bedroom, I put in two twin beds and I've loved the versatility of that. Now I think all kids rooms should have two beds - perfect for sleepovers and guests. I especially love these bunk beds because they can also be separated into twin beds offering a ton of versatility for under $200! I'll put white down comforters on the beds along with those herringbone cotton blankets. The reading lamps are just 9.99 at Ikea! Thrifty goodness! And I love, love, love those pillow covers from the Pillow People. Why spend a bunch of money on a pillow, when you can buy the case for under $20?

My most favorite thing in this mood board, though, is that lovely map print. Get this - it's free! F.R.E.E. free. How, you ask? A little secret called the New York Library Digital Archives. There are literally thousands of pieces - posters, prints, maps - you name it! All available to be printed. I put a darling print of some owls and elves in the kids' bathroom. You just cannot beat free art.

As soon as Spring shows her pretty face, I'll be ready to start on this fresh look for my boy!

Love and Marriage

2014-02-14T11:13:00.000-05:00

*As I make changes to this site, I'll be reposting some older articles. Stay tuned for fresh posts in the coming days! Enjoy this post, originally from Valentine's Day 2011 -

Happy Valentine's Day! In honor of this day, I thought I'd write a bit about love and marriage and what it means to me. The Mr. is not my first husband. I tell you this because I think when you've been divorced, love and marriage become much more precious. The Mr. caught me off guard. But in a nutshell - I wasn't looking for anyone and was resolved to be alone for a long while and get myself together. God works in mysterious ways, however, and my divorce was finalized on Valentine's Day and I met the Mr. the day I received the papers in the mail. How do you like that for planning?

The Mr. was everything I was looking for, he ticked every box. It was instant for both of us - the closest thing to love at first sight I've ever known. I was not nervous to get married again because the relationship was so different than the first time around. To me, marriage isn't about control or holding or any of the negative things that can go along with it. I wanted to marry him because I wanted to stand before our friends and family and profess my love for him. I wanted to be bound to him. My marriage has allowed me absolute freedom in this: I am free to venture out into the world, being exactly who I am and have a soft place to land. Risks seem less risky when you have a partner. Finding grace in your lover when you've messed up has to be one of the best feelings ever. The Mr. has had to be full of grace. He's a much kinder, gentler, empathetic person than I could ever be.

We're fortunate. It's been easy for us. Ten years later, my Mr. & I are still truly, madly, deeply. We like each other, we work together and are in constant communication. I'm the lucky one on that end - he's a great talker. We both know there's no place for pride in a relationship and come to each other with a servant heart. I wake up every day excited to see him and to find out what the day holds for us. I have been blessed to find my perfect partner. I wish that for everyone. I want everyone to be able to experience marriage the way I have - as a liberator, as a warm home, as a confession of love and respect. Why should we hold anyone back from that? What does marriage mean to you? Is it a scary thing, a welcome thing or a desired thing?

Marriage Maintenance

2014-02-13T14:00:00.000-05:00

*As I update the blog, I'll be reposting some older articles. Stay tuned for fresh posts in the coming days! Enjoy this post, originally from April 2012

I have a good marriage. And I can say that without fear of jinxing it, or losing it or whatever because it's not good by accident. I've written before about what marriage means to me but today I want to talk about the mechanics of it. There are steps to follow which can bring you closer to your spouse. Each item is just a little thing but when used in conjunction the result can be huge.

We all live crazy lives these days. Big lives. We have kids and dogs and houses and jobs and soccer and piano and True Blood and Facebook. Oh! And Pinterest! It's easy to get distracted from the fact that at the center of any family is a union between two people. That relationship is the anchor and without it there is no family. And with all those distractions it's easy to get out of step with your partner, which leads to frustration, which leads to lack of communication, which leads to arguments and on and on...

So, how do you maintain a close, open and loving relationship? Well, it's not always easy - just ask the Mr. - but it is totally doable and within grasp. Sometimes it feels like work and sometimes it feels silly and sometimes you're nice through gritted teeth. But at the end of the day, little kindnesses can turn into a really great marriage.

I read this article the other day - 50 Ways to Inspire Your Husband - go read it and come back. I usually loathe articles like this because they are written as though men are fragile simpletons in need of constant reassurance. But this one had a lot of good points. I have a few to add myself, so let's get started:

Initiate Great Sex

I kind of agree with this one. However I think it should read, "Initiate Sex". Because not all sex is great sex. And sometimes neither of you feel like doing it (see paragraph 2 above) and it's easier to not do it so you don't. And then you don't for a week. And then you don't for a month. But here's the thing about sex (to borrow from Dr. Phil, gah!) - when you have a healthy sex life it's 10% of your marriage but when you have a bad sex life, it's 90% of your marriage. A lot of women struggle in this area. We wait to be in the mood, we wait for the kids to be gone, we wait and wait and wait. You know what? It's a lot tougher to have mind blowing sex if you're only doing it once a month. If you do it more, the odds go up ;) I would encourage all couples to do it more. Try doing it every day for a week. It's impossible not to feel closer to your spouse after.

Flirt

Not ready for the sex-everyday challenge? Well, try flirting with your spouse. Catch his eye across the room. Lay out your lingerie every morning and get dressed in front of him. (Oh, you should have sexy lingerie, by the way... and you should wear it every day. Under jeans, under sweats - doesn't matter. Maybe that's another post, though.) Undress in front of him in the evening. Act how you acted while you were dating. Tease him. (However. Don't be a tease. What good are lingerie, flirting or sexy pictures without action?) When you're out together, sit together. Act like you enjoy each other's company while at parties. Don't call him out on a factual error while he's telling a story or make underhanded remarks. Not only does it eat away at your relationship, but you can guess who everyone will be talking about when you leave. Flirting shows your partner that you really enjoy him and that you still want to be with him.

General Encouragement

Men are rescuers. They need to feel needed more than they need to feel wanted. It costs me nothing to say, "Thanks for going to work today," or "I'm so glad I chose you." Likewise, I tell our children constantly that they have a great daddy. I tell the Mr. that he's a great dad, too. Thank your spouse for doing, every day, the things that they do. Thank them for taking out the trash. Thank them for playing with the kids. The best part of this is that it has a snowball effect. The more your spouse feels appreciated, the more things they will find to do. So instead of ignoring the fact that your husband picked up his laundry and having a "Well, that is what he is SUPPOSED to do" attitude, try this instead: "Thanks so much for picking up your socks. I know it seems like a little thing, but it really helps me out." The Mr. does this, too "Thanks for doing the dishes," "Thanks for being a great mom." and you know what? It really does feel good to be acknowledged for those things, even though I have to do them.

Give Him an Out

I know the Mr. doesn't want to go to baby showers or shopping or anything else like that. So I don't make him. I don't make him do anything he doesn't want and, in return, I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. Say there's something coming up and I know he's been dreading it. I might say, "Hey - why don't you just stay home and I'll go alone?" or something along those lines. Because even though we're a team, we are not the same person. And just as much as he doesn't want to go shopping with me, I don't want to go look at dirtbikes with him. I get alone time every day but he leaves a house full of people, goes to work with other people and returns to all of us. He is never, never alone. I try to encourage him to get away - even if it's just for an hour to go for a walk or tinker in the barn. I know I would shrivel if I never had alone time.

Create an Oasis

Most of my friends are not extremely wealthy. None of us have live-in help. None of us are taking vacations without our children. Most of us have a hard time squeezing in one night away, let alone a week! But the good news is that you don't have to go away to get away. Make your bedroom your oasis. Make it romantic and sexy. It should have low lighting, it should smell good. Have nice bedding. And move your TV in. Yes, I said IN. I know the general wisdom is that by keeping the TV out of the bedroom you'll be more intimate. I don't agree.

Before we had a TV in our room we spent our evenings apart - if the Mr. wanted to watch something on TV, I'd just go to bed if I was tired and vice versa. Since moving the TV into our room we now spend our evenings together. The children go to bed, we pick up the house and settle into our room. We watch TV, movies, we read, we work, whatever. But we are together. We are close enough to hold hands. And you know what's a lot easier to do if you're already in your bedroom? Initiate sex.

We try to keep the kids out of our room at night, too. Sure they sneak in every once and a while but they don't start out in our room. And when we have movie night, we all sit in the living room. We try to make it clear that our room is a special place just for us. If the doors are closed, they have to knock first.

So that's it... those are my marriage maintenance basics. Whenever I feel that things are tense between the Mr. and I or that we aren't on the same wavelength about things, I brush up on these little things and bring it back around. And if you're wondering, "Why do I have to do all the work?" Well, it works on the principle that it's a lot harder to be snappy with someone who is being nice to you. For example: If I know the Mr. is having a rotten day and he answers me with attitude it only escalates things if I give that attitude back. However, if I continue to be nice, to try to help him work out the bad day, his mood changes and lightens considerably. And the next time I'm in a crap mood, he does the same for me. It's called grace. And I think a lot of people could benefit from putting away pride and picking up some grace.*

*Please note that when talking about problems in marriage and relationships I am never, ever speaking of abusive relationships. If you are in an abusive relationship, please get help. Go to www.thehotline.com or call 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

Let Me Google That For You

2012-06-22T09:43:00.000-04:00

This has to be the best thing. Ever.

www.lmgtfy.com

You know when someone asks a question either online or in person that they could have (more) easily googled? Yeah. That makes me nuts.

I am an avid googler. Mostly because I like to be right at all times. I've been known to whip out my phone to google my correctness at any given moment. I also like to gloat. I'm a gloaty know-it-all.

If you are, too, please to enjoy Let Me Google That For You. A new service that allows you to look up a question for someone and then send them the link to this perfectly snarky google tutorial...

Like this.

The best part is when it asks, "Was that so hard?" Love it.

Um, Crocs?

2012-06-22T09:29:00.001-04:00

Hi. Do you know what this is? This is a Croc. Yes, the very same comapny that makes those hideous orange rubber clogs that Mario Batali wears also makes shoes like this... it's a revelation, isn't it?

These are actually leather wrapped "croslite" - which I'm guessing is Crocs' proprietary rubber-like blend? At any rate, these are crazy comfy. And cute.

They also make these:

These are so sleek. Love them. I may have to go pick these up at DSW this week. In addition to all the usual clogs, Crocs has diversified to the point they now offer sneakers, sandles, and even winter boots! All feature the croclite footbed. Some are leather and some are 100% croslite.

So, the question remains... if you were wearing Crocs, would you admit to it?

Sweetheart Jeans

2012-06-19T20:56:00.001-04:00

I have professed my love for the Skinny Jean before here at Amateurian. I wear my heart on my sleeve, or pant leg, as the case may be.

The other day I realized I had a significant amount of rewards dollars on my Banana Republic/Gap/Old Navy (Athleta/Piperlime) account. This is because I use that card to pay for hotels when we go on vacation. I can then pay the card off AND get free clothes. It's a win/win. My rewards expired at the end of June. Of course. Because I'm a terrific procrastinator.

So, what to buy?

I browsed all the eligible stores. For a long time. And finally I found a cute bikini, and a blouse (I hate that word. I also hate the word "top" so - let's call it a shirt - I bought a shirt) and then decided I needed some new jeans.

After studying all the offerings and reading all the descriptions, I settled on 2 pairs of Old Navy's Sweetheart Skinny Jeans. I was more than a bit apprehensive because I've never found an Old Navy jean that was flattering. But, the reviews were very good and they were cheap. And by cheap, I mean free. What did I have to lose?

Well. They are fantastic. I was glad I listened to the reviewers and bought a size down. I ordered a 2 (and I am, in no one's book, a size 2) and they fit perfectly. In fact, by the end of the day they're even a bit loose - which is ok. I also bought them in the tall length. There are, in my opinion, only two acceptable lengths for jeans - just above the ankle or long enough to wear with stillettos. No crops, no weird tailored-looking length. I should say that I am not tall (5'7") nor are my legs long (my 5'5" mother's are longer) but these jeans are perfect. Perfect. I bought a dark washed pair as well as a more casual, broken in looking pair. Quite honestly they rival my beloved Tahari jeans in fit - and at 10% of the cost! Love!

Best Thing I Ever Ate - Part 567

2012-06-18T11:08:00.001-04:00

I've been wanting to write about this for such a long time. But I kept waiting until I had a full container to photograph. Well, that never happens. Because pretty much as soon as I buy this, I am eating it.

Talenti Gelato is my new lover.

With 34 flavors like Sea Salt Caramel, Sicilian Pistachio, Double Dark Chocolate and Carribean Coconut, you are sure to find your own must-have-at-all-times-pint. This gelato is so smooth and flavorful. And so many of the flavors compliment each other so they're great for pairing. Raspberry and Mint, Chocolate and Blood Orange... you get the idea. It is good stuff.

And because each pint packs so much flavor you don't need to eat much to feel like you're having a treat.

Although, eating the entire pint in one sitting is also an option. A very, very good option.

Summer Lovin'

2012-06-12T20:15:00.001-04:00

Hi Friends! Well, it's happened yet again. Real life has gotten in the way of my happy little blog! But now... now my children are out of school. Now I have stolen the Mr.'s Zagg keyboard. Now I have things to say!

And I know you're listening. Despite my prolonged absence, readership is up at Amateurian and you are all contacting me like mad with your questions. So, over the next few weeks I intend to get back to regular writing. Many of you have asked for Tracy Anderson updates, I want to outline our trip to Disney, talk about thyroid health and Ben & Jerry's Greek Frozen Yogurt.

Oh. And True Blood. We will talk about True Blood.

But I also want to talk about things that interest you. So what's everyone curious about right now? What are the things you want to talk about? Wedding dresses? Cellulite? Politics? Talenti Gelato? Chin hairs? Let me know!

I have some great discoveries to share with you - can't wait to start the conversation!

Anthems Make Me Cry, Too

2012-03-08T18:57:00.001-05:00

You know that flash mobs make me cry... big time. And almost nothing else makes me cry. Except anthems. Not only National Anthems, but any song in which the singer's voice careens toward a frantic wailing plea just about does me in. These songs make me want to sing along even though my voice more closely resembles the sound a dying cow might make. If you don't have any idea what I'm talking about - take a listen:

Ok. So, yes. Technically that is the song from the Chevy Sonic commercial. But I can't help it - God knows I've tried. I L-O-V-E love this song. It reminds me of being young and reckless and foolish and it makes me feel young and reckless and foolish.

I'm not a big fan of Muse. At all. But this song makes me want to kick your ass. And take your name.

Come On Eileen. Poor old Johnny Ray...

To me, this is it. This song makes me cry every time I hear it. I know you're thinking about what a dork I am... you're right.

And, of course, my own National Anthem - The Star Spangled Banner sung by Whitney Houston. When I heard of her death I was saddened mostly because this is Violet's favorite song right now... she does a pretty good rendition for a 2 year old.

Am I alone in this love for breast beating, run you over songs? I'd love to know what songs do it for you...

Romantica Home or... What I've Been Doing Lately

2012-02-17T11:14:00.002-05:00

I love this blog. You know I do. And it's been sad for me to spend so much time away from it and my lovely readers. But I've been working my little patoot off trying to launch a new business venture, which I'm ever so happy to share with you all now!

For Christmas, Santa brought ~~my family~~ me a schmancy new printer. And cardstock. And extra ink. At first my plan was to create some little prints for my kids' bedrooms and maybe something to give as gifts. Well, on a whim I decided to set up an Etsy shop, Romantica Home and put some of my designs up. I had my first sale on January 4 and my 86th sale today! It has far exceeded my expectations.

The best thing, for me, has been that I am constantly having new ideas. So many, in fact, that I'm always jotting down little notes for my next project. The work has been inspiring and I truly enjoy it. The fact that I'm getting paid to do it is a welcome bonus!

I've had a great deal of fun setting up my office and sorting out my processes. Because each item is fully custom I've had to figure out in what order to do things. Once an order comes in, I print a packing slip, set to work on the design, email a digital proof to my client and wait for their response. Some clients love their first color/design choices while others may want to see as many as 6 or 7 options. Once they approve the design I can print, package and ship. So, I apologize for letting my blog slip a bit but I hope to be able to blog more as my shop becomes more established. Take a look at some of my work:

I Hate Valentine's Day

2012-02-15T12:34:00.002-05:00

I hate Valentine's Day. Why do I hate a day meant for love and wine and roses? Well, let's see if I can explain.

I hate Valentine's Day because it shouldn't matter. But it does. The Mr. and I have an amazing relationship, he is my everything. He makes me feel special all the time and is constantly supportive and wonderful. But he forgot Valentine's Day. Which made me sad. Which, in turn, made me mad. Mad at myself for caring that my Mr. brought home no flowers or cards or candy when he is, every day, the best man I know. And then I was mad at him for being all, "We don't need Valentine's Day, blah, blah, blah". Ummmm... really?

So today I finally had to admit that I was mad at him and mad at myself for being so silly about the whole thing. The worst part about Valentine's Day is that you can't say, "Hey - I want presents!" because then you just feel like you're getting presents because you asked. And no one wants to ask for presents, right? So while I'm usually pretty good at asking for what I want, I totally failed at Valentine's Day.

And I forgot to leave Tooth Faerie money under my daughter's pillow.

It was a banner day.

Turmeric Tea - It Will Cure What Ails You

2011-12-19T13:08:00.002-05:00

Ever since I had The Great and Powerful Flu of 2011, my sinuses have not been right. It's been as though little angry men were pushing against the inside of my forehead. Last night those little men grabbed pickaxes and tried to force their way through my eye socket.

I was getting a cold. Darn.

But, I refused to give in! I took my own advice and boosted my vitamin/supplement/Airborne intake. I used the neti pot. And all of this helped... for a bit. Soon enough my sinus cavities were refilled with what could only be angry red-hot lava. Then, in the midst of near madness, I remembered hearing that turmeric was a great anti-inflammatory agent. Great. Now what?

After doing a little googling to ensure I wouldn't have turmeric induced convulsions or hallucinations (What? I'm cautious!) I decided to make a little Turmeric Tea. Basically all you need is turmeric and hot water - the rest is gravy. It ended up tasting like a spicy chai - spicy because I added extra cayenne powder. Because I'm crazy like that.

I'll tell you how I made it, but the most important thing is that it worked. My sinuses cleared out, I could breathe, I slept great and feel even better today. Turmeric is a spice which has been greatly researched and possesses some amazing healing powers. It is anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, antibacterial, aids in fat metabolism, heals wounds, prevents cancers and Alzheimer's and helps with skin conditions such as psoriasis and eczema. Honestly, that's all great, but the fact that it worked for me is all I really care about!

TURMERIC TEA

1 t. Turmeric
1 t. Cinnamon
1/8 t. Cloves
1/8 t. Nutmeg
1/8 t. Ginger
1/8 t. Cayenne

Hot Water

Milk (dairy or nut)

Honey (or other sweetener) - I didn't use any but you may want to - the cinnamon made it sweet enough for me.

*A warning - turmeric will stain things yellow so please make sure you have something underneath to catch the inevitable spills. And if you don't spill, please tell me how you do that!*

Blend spices in the bottom of a mug and fill halfway with hot water. Allow to steep 5-10 minutes. The longer the better, but I'm no good at waiting, so mine goes only 5 minutes.

Stir liquid and strain through sieve.

Add milk and enjoy - stirring while drinking to distribute the spices evenly.

I Bought a Jewelry Armoire

2011-12-16T11:57:00.001-05:00

I have a jewelry problem. I like it. A lot. And until recently it lived in a beautiful but small jewelry chest the Mr. bought. It also crashed on my nightstand, my vanity, my sink and on the kitchen windowsills. But it was getting crazy. I was losing earrings and tangling necklaces. Finally I decided to buy a jewelry armoire.

Except there was a problem with that, too. You see, I loathe jewelry armoires. I can't stand them. Usually they are all golden oaky or faux cherry and they're so, so fancy... blech!

Since I'm an accomplished online shopper, I thought I would do a little research and be able to find something acceptable at a reasonable price. Nope. They were all over $300 and very ruffly feeling.

I then descended upon the stores in my town hoping to score a non-repulsive bargain, but once again struck out. Until my Mom suggested Big Lots. I walked through the door and there, right in the entry, was an entire display of simple jewelry armoires! I bought this one for $140 and left the fancy legs off.

It was nearly full when I finally located all my jewelry and moved it in. I could really use another. Now all my bling has a home and I can find it easily and actually see what I have. And what I need... hint, hint.

Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis - Omnicentric - Days 1-10

2011-12-14T10:10:00.001-05:00

I'm a day early on this post because we have Christmas parties all day tomorrow at my kids' school. It doesn't matter really, though because my results are already so, so wonderful I couldn't wait to share!

I have been following Tracy Anderson's new Metamorphosis program for the last 9 days and I will tell you right now that I have never, ever experienced anything like it. I am not following the food plan. I am working out for an hour a day - 30 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of toning exercises.

CARDIO
This cardio is intense. It will make you cry. It will make you angry. It will make you want to smash Tracy's happy little face against a wall when she says, "If you feel like you have more energy, just start the video and do this workout again!"

Because this cardio isn't Jazzercise or Step Aerobics or even Zumba. This cardio is really plyometrics - jump training. For 30 minutes you don't stop jumping. The jumping is lightly choreographed, but that doesn't matter. I've made myself do the entire 30 minutes, stopping for water, rest, stretching and whiskey as needed. Just yesterday - day 8 - I really made it through the entire 30 minutes and enjoyed it. You must find a playlist of your own because her music is terrible. I just put the entire thing on mute and listen to my own mix. For me, I really need to be able to get lost in the music to get the physical discomfort out of my mind. You really need a fast beat so I've been listening to:

Get on the Floor - Jennifer Lopez
Heaven - DJ Sammy & Yanou
Better Off Alone - Alice DJ
Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida
She Want Me - Sean Paul
More - Usher

I couldn't walk for days. My legs have never been more tired, more sore. And I've never been more addicted to a workout. I look forward to it everyday now.

MUSCLE TONING
So. The muscle toning portion is really difficult, but compared to the cardio section, it's a walk in the park. Days 1-10 have a short arm workout, some abs which aren't too bad especially if you're at all fit. And then... then there's the leg section. The leg section is awful! You do 40 reps of six different exercises and THEN you switch sides. It's very, very hard and I can only do 40 reps of four of the six exercises and I'm almost done with this workout!

THE RESULTS
Ok. I'm only 9 days into this 90 day program but I'm already seeing amazing results. In fact, the other day my daughter asked me if I was wearing the Mr.'s pants because they were so baggy! When I broke out the tape measure this morning, I was flabbergasted. I didn't really expect to see changes so quickly!

I have lost:

Right Thigh - .5"
Left Thigh - 1"
Hips - 1"
Lower Abs - 5" (This is CRAZY! I had to measure about 10 times!)
Waist - 1.75"
Upper Abs (just below rib cage) - 2.25"
Vertical Butt Length (from top to bottom of your bottom) - 2" (!)
Right Cheek Width - .5"
Left Cheek Width - 1"
Right Arm - .5"
Left Arm - .25"
Bust - .25"

And, the pictures:

Disney World - Bring It

2011-12-08T20:18:00.003-05:00

I've been trying to plan a family vacation to Disney World for a few years. I say "trying" because I do all the research, decide when to go, where to stay and then get cold feet and never go through with it.

I'm the runaway bride of Disney vacation planning.

But this year is different! This year I've not only planned the trip, but it's booked and paid for. I didn't want to write about it before because of my history. I mean, how embarrassing would that have been? To have blogged about it and not gone? So gauche!

Thanks to the wonderful Yankee Peach, who has a Disney post already, I have managed to make all the necessary decisions without a major nervous breakdown. Seriously. This girl should be a Disney Travel Agent.

You know, I love planning vacations. Well, let's get real here - I love planning anything. And if I get to make a spreadsheet - even better! But this Disney thing, well, it really strains even the Type A girl's idea of organizational enjoyment. You have to decide when to go, you have to decide where to stay, what parks to go to on which days AND! AND! you must book all of your restaurant meal reservations well in advance of your trip.

So, how did this Disneyphobe turn into a Disneyphile? Yankee Peach helped greatly. My recommendations to you are really hers to me. Buy the Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World. These 3" thick manuals come out yearly and along with their companion books are like the Disney Bible. I have read mine cover to cover more than once and it's now dog eared, highlighted, circled and post-ited to death. Using a large panel, these independent researchers test out every resort, every ride, every restaurant and give honest, unbiased feedback. Truthfully, sometimes I wanted a little more bias, because when you're choosing between three great hotels you want a little swaying.

Decide when you want to go. I've been pricing Disney World Vacations for three years. We decided to go in February because that worked well with our schedules and I ended up saving about $3500 on the trip because we're going during the low season. Do we risk cooler temperatures? Yes. Is wearing a jacket worth $3500 to me? Absolutely.

Decide where to stay. We're staying at the Animal Kingdom Lodge in a room overlooking the Savannah. We're staying in a 1 Bedroom Deluxe Villa. Because I refuse to sleep in the same room with my children. (Is that awful? I really just need for everyone to sleep otherwise it's not a great vacation for anyone.) A little known fact is that the Deluxe Villas are basically time share rooms which Disney brokers when they're not in use. They are much, much cheaper than booking a one bedroom suite and you can get a great room with up to three bedrooms and two baths for not too much more money - depending on location.

Decide what to see. Because our kids are younger and this will be their first Disney experience, we're doing quintessential Disney - 2 days in Magic Kingdom, 1 day in Epcot and 1 day in Animal Kingdom. We opted out of Park Hopper and Water Park tickets - our hotel has two pools and we will stick to just one park per day. Our daily vacation routine doesn't change and goes as follows: Wake up, breakfast, sightsee, lunch, back to hotel for rest, dinner, more sightseeing, bed. Disney will be the same and I set our meals up to follow that schedule.

Decide where to eat. Disney offers several different dining packages. I chose the Deluxe Dining Package which includes 3 sit down meals & 2 snacks per person per day. We like to eat and we eat a lot, so this was essential to me. By having my park days already scheduled, I could easily decide where to eat what meal based on location and timing. We were able to book 5 character meals including the ever elusive Cinderella's Royal Table. Disney lovers will know that this one meal is the reason people book their vacations 180 days in advance and spend countless hours on the phone trying to get a table. How did I do it? Two words. Off. Season. I literally just searched for it using the online reservations system and there it was.

In the hopes that it helps some of you be brave enough to book this awesome vacation, I'm going to outline our trip for you below.

SATURDAY
- Hop in the big black van & drive to Atlanta where we'll descend upon Yankee Peach's unsuspecting family for the night. They will love us!

SUNDAY
- After finishing the awesome breakfast YP has made (herself, from scratch) we will drive down to Disney and check in.
- Our first meal will be at Chef Mickey's at the Contemporary resort. I wanted something low key, but still something that would get my kids jazzed to be at Disney. Chef Mickey's is a buffet (no waiting - bonus!) which features characters and since it's at the Contemporary, we will be able to see the Magic Kingdom in the distance.

MONDAY
- Magic Kingdom Day 1
- 8:00AM - Breakfast at Ohana at the Polynesian. I chose this because the Polynesian is close to the Magic Kingdom and this is yet another character meal featuring Lilo & Stitch.
- Park fun
- 12:20PM - Lunch at the Crystal Palace in Magic Kingdom. Character meal in a neat setting.
- Back to room for rest/pool time
- 5:25PM - Dinner at Liberty Tree Tavern. My girl is obsessed with the early history of our country so I think she'll really like this place.
- Park fun 'til close

TUESDAY
- Epcot Day
- 8:15AM - Breakfast at Akershus in Epcot. This is supposed to be a cool character meal in a Norwegian style dining room. This breakfast features princesses!
- Park fun
- 12:35PM - Lunch at Biergarten in Epcot. To be honest the only reason I booked this is because it's one of the few things I remember from my childhood visit. I'm betting it's fun!
- Back to room for rest/pool time
- 5:40PM - Dinner at Coral Reef in Epcot. This restaurant feels like you're underwater with large aquariums surrounding - even Mickey snorkles!
- Park fun 'til close

WEDNESDAY
- Animal Kingdom Day
- 8:00AM - Breakfast at Boma at Animal Kingdom Lodge. This I booked just because of the reviews. It's supposed to be one of the best breakfasts on the property and I'm really looking forward to it.
- Park fun
- 11:30AM - Lunch at Yak & Yeti in Animal Kingdom.
- On this day we'll probably stay in the park since we're so close to the hotel and Animal Kingdom isn't open later
- 5:00PM - Dinner at Sanaa. Yankee Peach gave a great tip - if you book right when they open you can get a table by a window. The floor to ceiling windows are at just the right height for the animals to peek in at you (and your food).

THURSDAY
- Magic Kingdom Day 2
- 8:00AM - Breakfast at Kona Cafe at the Polynesian. Again - proximity to Magic Kingdom was key - as was the allegedly amazing Kona French Press.
- Park fun
- 12:50PM - Lunch at the Plaza in Magic Kingdom
- Back to room for rest/pool time
- 6:55PM - Dinner at Cinderella's Royal Table. I really wanted this to be our last meal at Disney and I'm super glad it was available.

FRIDAY
- Drive home

SATURDAY
- Drive home

And that, my friends, is it. It took me a long time to get here, but I'm good with it now. I'm happy we're going and am excited about the adventure. This is one of our kids Christmas presents, so it's a surprise until then! Good luck with your own planning and don't be afraid - it's easier than it seems!

Baby Pictures Gone Wrong

2011-12-08T20:18:00.001-05:00

As you may know, I've recently become obsessed with Pinterest. (Follow me over there ---->). I love, love, love it! However. I've noticed a trend. A bad, bad trend. It has gotten just so out of control I feel that someone must stand up and say something. Right now. This whole baby-as-prop thing has got to go. Am I alone here or does anyone else think these are just plain strange?

Uh, Ma'am - that's a baby, not a baseball

Well, what am I supposed to do with this thing?

Oh, look! Mama's little boy is a baby hobo!

Aw, a little nerdlet!

And while there are some amazing photos of babies out there, let's just keep it simple, mmm-k? I don't want to see your naked baby in a laundry basket, or a water jug or dressed as a mermaid on a rock. Or hitch hiking or stuffed inside a crochet lion costume or dressed as a newborn flapper. Just plain baby would be great. And sufficient. And not mentally scarring.

This epidemic has spread to wedding photography, too, but we'll save that for another post. Maybe I just have a phobia of really over the top staged photos? Oh well, for another day!

Staying Healthy

2011-12-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

I had the flu this year. Already. It was awesome. I am almost always healthy and then once every few years, I get laid low by the flu. But, generally, I don't get colds, sniffles, or any other pesky sicknesses. And today I want to share with you how we stay healthy around here. It can be broken down into four basic areas of wellness - rest, diet, supplements and chiropractic.

REST

We get a lot of sleep around here. We don't use alarms to wake up but rather rely on our own internal rhythms to get us out of bed every morning. We work hard, we play hard and when we're tired, we go to bed. That means some nights I'm asleep at 7:00pm and some nights it's more like 11:30pm. I've struggled with insomnia throughout my life so some nights it's really like 2:30am - but those are becoming fewer and farther between. My kids go to bed early, too. During the school year that can be between 6:30 & 7:00. I seriously don't think there is a better thing to do for your health than to get enough rest.

DIET

Although we love to indulge in sweet treats and comfort food on occasion, our main diet is pretty clean. Lots of whole foods - lean protein, whole grains, organic fruits & veg. For tips on how to get your family eating more produce - click here. We all know that food is the gasoline for our engines so why not give yourself a leg up eating right. The fewer ingredients the better, stay away from food in boxes and bags. At our house we have always foods - fruit & vegetables, whole grains - sometimes foods - breads, pastas, sauces - and once in a while foods - sweets, treats & the like. For snacks our kids can choose any fruit or vegetable they'd like - but that's it. No crackers, no chips, no cookies for the most part.

SUPPLEMENTS

*As with anything, this is only a guideline and you should consult your own healthcare advisor before taking any of the supplements listed below.

Ok. These are the supplements I take. I'm not going to give you amounts because everyone's needs are different.

Probiotic - So important for gastric and overall health!
Omega 3 - A great antioxidant which helps keep all your parts working smoothly.
Zinc - We all know zinc is great for colds, but did you know that it is also great for your skin? Zinc speeds up cell turnover which is why it's not only one of my top health picks, but a top beauty pick as well!
Vitamin D - More effective (by far) than the flu shot - this super vitamin has been linked with helping prevent cancer, Alzheimer's and a whole host of other maladies.
Multivitamin - We take a comprehensive multivitamin which includes not only vitamins and minerals but also goodies like Resveratrol, Lutein, Boron, Amino Acids, Enzymes, Spirulina, Fruit & Veggie blends.
Apple Cider Vinegar - I can't tell you how much I love my Apple Cider Vinegar pills. Not only do they work to increase alkaline production in your body (a good thing), they're also great for your skin and your waistline!
ChlorOxygen - Super concentrated Chlorophyll Concentrate. This stuff is the real deal. Just 18 drops in a glass of water and you're on your way to increased oxygen, better health and loads of energy. Can't live without this stuff!
Airborne - Of course, at the first sign of illness, we start Airborne - I love, love, love the healing powers of Airborne.

CHIROPRACTIC

This one is optional (not really) because maybe you don't want to add chiropractic to your life (you really should). Finding a wellness chiropractor is, to me, essential. I no longer get headaches like I used to, we are an ear infection free family and I believe going to the chiropractor regularly keeps us out of the doctor's office. When your body is in alignment it functions as it was meant to - with all your neurotransmitters firing at top speed without any blockages or interruptions. Which means you feel great, all the time and any illnesses are headed off at the pass. Love my chiropractor!

Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis

2011-12-05T09:50:00.001-05:00

Let me first say how much I hate the word Metamorphosis. It naturally reminds me of butterflies which, of course, make me think of Mariah Carey, which in turn makes me vomit a little in my mouth.

Anyway.

Look what showed up on my doorstep just as I was lifting the last homemade fritter from the vat of frying oil! In some sort of health conscious fit, I ordered Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis program (Omnicentric) from QVC. Probably at a point when I was lamenting my fat ankles and wrists. So, on Friday, while frying olliebollen for Sinterklaas, the very timely UPS man dropped this on my porch. And I promptly put it on my desk and shut the door.

But now it's Monday.

Time to begin.

The program comes in a largish box which holds about an ounce worth of stuff...

And everywhere, you get Tracy, Tracy, Tracy! But seriously. You get 90 days worth of workout DVDs for toning and cardio, you get a meal plan and some other literature.

As a bonus you also get your very own pink measuring tape! Every girl's ~~nightmare~~ dream! Before we go any further, I do have a bit of a confession - this won't be my first day doing the program. A few weeks a go I did a week's worth of the first DVD. Just to see if I was going to like it. (If you would like to test it out, too and don't mind some risky computer activity - you maybe could google "Tracy Anderson Metamorphasis Tudou" which might take you to some Chinese programming site, which may just contain THE ENTIRE 90 DAY PROGRAM FOR FREE - maybe.)

The premise of Tracy's method is that you must work your fine muscles, like a dancer. And, being an old dancer, I thought this might be something I was comfortable with. Every 10 days you switch your routine to "confuse" the muscles and keep you on your toes. The toning workouts are brief yet intense, focusing on extended repetition of seemingly simple exercises. When I did the test run, I could barely walk immediately afterwards, a feeling that only got worse as the days went on. In fact, at one point I called my mother to complain about the fact that I would never be not sore again. Which I guess is a pretty good problem to have when you're trying to get in shape. A word to the wise - invest in a good yoga mat - you spend an inordinate amount of time on your knees.

When you order the program you choose your workout based on your body type - Omnicentric (puffy all over, like me), Hipcentric (fat-bottomed) or Abcentric (big-bellied).

Tracy also includes a food program. I've heard it's extremely low calorie and a little odd. I'll read through it but honestly, I'll probably pitch it. My metabolism is pretty fast and I tend to suffer low blood sugar when I don't eat enough. Besides that, my diet is pretty healthy to begin with and I am not about to workout like a fool and not be able to eat that caramel brownie if I want to.

My goals for this program are not really to lose weight - I'd just like to firm up. Alright, honestly, I'd like to have my 22 year old body back, but we'll see. I'm planning on checking in every 10 days throughout the process unless I have something noteworthy to share. In each check-in post I'll include my measurement chart & updated photos.

*gulp*

So. Here is the part where I post my measurements and photos for the first time.

I'm not so excited about this part, but looking at other women's before and after pics is what got me to order the program to begin with. I'm going to try not to be hypercritical but merely lay them out for you to see from where I begin.

I'm 5'7" - here are my measurements:

I'm anticipating having killer abs when this is all over, so I wanted to include the classic "ab shot" before. It is not my finest hour, friends, but there it is. Day 1. Seems like it's always Day 1 of something around here... Wish me luck!

The Weather - Guest Post by Yankee Peach

2011-12-02T09:10:00.001-05:00

The Jimmy Dean Sun - the only person who should be talking weather

I love people.

I do.

People are great.

What I really hate is small talk.

I'm terrible at it.

However, if People want to talk about their kids, their careers, their jewelry-making hobby, I'm fine with that.

But, a certain type of People drive me a little insane. In fact, there should be a rule. Well, I guess there already is one, and I would like to add my own spin on it.

"When making polite conversation, never talk about money, politics, religion, or...the weather."

I know, the weather does not ruffle feathers or start drunken family fights at Christmas parties, but I feel that I have some valid points, so hear me out.

Point Number One. Here's the thing about weather...who honestly cares? That point stands on its own.

Point Number Two. Upon arriving at a party, its a given that we have all just been in the same weather. We already know that its a crystal clear night or that it looks like rain. As we all converge on someone's house, should we also talk about the road we were all just on?

"Oh, my, that is some really gray asphalt in your neighborhood, Charlene! Did anyone else notice how gray the asphalt was?"

"Roger and I were JUST talking about Charlene's road and commenting on the color."

"Well, Jim and I were completely distracted by the smooth texture to even notice the color. How did you keep your road from being too bumpy, Charlene?"

No. We do not talk about the road. And I propose the same be true of the weather.

I suppose the only exception to my "No Weather" policy is if you have a fantastic anecdote to share. I love a good anecdote. If you once had a tornado rip through your neighborhood or you were dismayed to find that, on your once-in-a-lifetime trip to Hawaii that it actually snowed, those are good stories.

But I know People guilty of only talking about the weather. Non-stop. For hours.

"My goodness, Charlene, its breezy today!"

"Oh, it is breezy you are right!"

"Would you say its as breezy as it was on Tuesday?"

"Well...let's think about that...Tuesday was a fair-to-moderate breeze, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it a wind...and this breeze today doesn't seem anywhere near that caliber."

"Hm. True. But..(small laugh because this is getting really interesting)...ha!...NOTHING beats the Breeze of '98! Remember the Breeze of '98, Charlene!"

"Oh, ho ho hoooo, how could I forget! That breeze made all the leaves fall of that Japanese Maple in the front yard...was that a Japanese Maple?"

Oh. my. goodness. And, the entire time, you are forced to sit there and go "Ah!" and "Oh, really?" while slowly and methodically trying to pierce your own torso with a dull butter knife because the pain reminds you that you are alive.

Of course, one could turn The Weather into an acceptable conversation topic with a little creativity. Perhaps if we added a conceptual or metaphysical spin to the weather conversation? Maybe questions like:

"So, Charlene, tell me, as a breeze expert...what separates a breeze from a wind, I've always been curious?"

Or

"You know, they say that every snow flake is completely different. But, what if snow flakes were all exactly the same? Does that change anything about your views on society? God? Snowflake crafts?"

Yeah, you can talk about weather like that and I would be okay with it.

So, this holiday season, please don't talk about the weather. In fact, PLEASE explain to me how your politics are better than mine or give hints all night that your husband makes more money than mine does. Its preferred over scintillating comments about the sudden drop in barometric pressure.

About the Authoress

Sara Edwards. 33 years old. 8 years of marriage to a handsome nerd. 2 kids. 1 over-active imagination. Star of her own sitcom (in her head) and socially awkward singer/worship leader extraordinaire (in real life). Motto: Life is too short to think boring thoughts.

Amateurian says - Sara is a super awesome gal who has recently started a witty and on point blog Yankee Peach. You may know Sara as the subject of the first (and only, to date) Amateurian Interview. Give her

some love!

If you're interested in guest posting or having Amateurian guest post for you - please contact me here.

My Lady Porn Addiction

2011-12-01T11:35:00.001-05:00

I'm about to make a confession here. And, given the amount of time I spend on the computer everyday, it may or may not be shocking. I have a Lady Porn secret. (For Yankee Peach's Lady Porn please click here.) You see, I blog, I work on my Etsy shop, I troll real estate for clients, I return emails, I make appointments, I draft contracts, I pay bills and somewhere in there, well, there just has to be a little place for release, you know?

Enter Cele|bitchy. It is my Lady Porn. Celebrity gossip written by smart, dry witted women. What's not to love?

There. My confession. Phew! It feels so good to get that off my chest! Here's the funny thing, though - Cele|bitchy is the only place I go for gossip. I'm loyal. No ET for me, not even Perez Hilton. Nope. I'm a one-website kind of girl. And nothing gives me greater pleasure than sneaking five minutes to read a story about Kim Kardashian or Demi Moore. (Speaking of Demi Moore... I always found it curious that in Ashton Kutcher's Nikon commercials he was portrayed as this young, single guy prowling after young, single women. I mean, when celebrities take endorsement deals, they're not playing a character, right? They're being paid to be themselves. So how strange that all through his marriage, he's being shown as single. That was more than a bit Freudian, I think.)

Well, to be totally truthful, I don't just read... I participate. I comment. I interact with the other posters. And that, to me, is one of the best things about this site. They have a great core group of commenters. Again - I am not a forum board or commenting type of person. But there's just something about Cele|bitchy that really does it for me. They not only give the story but pepper their opinions and predictions throughout. What results is not overly snarky, or forced, or dirty, but is instead hilarious, quick-witted and wry. Check it out - but be careful! The lady porn will sneak up on you!