The Art of Living

Profiles in Courage: Caitlyn Jenner, a lifetime of leadership and personal transformation

2015-06-12T14:35:00.000-04:00

“Bruce, always had to tell a lie. He was always living that lie. Every day he always had a secret, from morning till night. Caitlyn doesn’t have any secrets. Soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out—I’m free.” Caitlyn Jenner

Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to be different and be your true self, especially if it requires radical personal change.

Coincidentally, authenticity, courage, self-awareness and the ability to adapt or change are all common traits of leaders. (See Building the 21st Century Leader from Entrepreneur)

Caitlyn Jenner is a great example of someone who has embodied these leadership qualities to accomplish much in various roles of her life. From overcoming dyslexia as a child, training herself and self-funding her Olympic aspiration as a part-time insurance salesman to her triumph as a former world-record holder and Olympic gold medal decathlete (one of “the most beloved and celebrated athletes in America” )—to becoming a household name through five decades as an icon, actor, motivational speaker, patron of a reality TV family, and now – a transgender woman.

As the International Business Times aptly puts it, “Decades removed from one of the greatest Olympic performances in history, Jenner’s list of accomplishments plays out more like that of a hyperactive Renaissance man than an athlete stuck in neutral after he realizes the mortality of his superhuman abilities.”

Photo credits: Sports Illustrated, General Mills, Kendall Jenner, People Magazine, Vanity Fair)

However, Jenner’s greatest triumph is perhaps the most recent and most personal of them all. For change becomes difficult when others who are involved do not accept or understand the need to adapt and change, which is why the qualities of a leader become critical when you are trying to accelerate change as a matter of survival, competitive advantage or merely being true to yourself.

Despite the noise caused by the media circus and mass prurient interest (Caitlyn’s twitter account was launched alongside the Vanity Fair cover story publication, within hours there were more than 1.1 million followers, breaking the former record held by President Obama), we can all learn a thing or two from Jenner’s lifetime of leadership and her personal transformation.

Many aspiring members of "minority" or disenfranchised groups (e.g., Latinos, African-Americans, Women, Native Americans, LGBT, Disabled, Vets, etc.) can probably identify with the issues and emotional struggle inherent in toggling between assimilation and being true to your culture and heritage. Practically every group has had to fight for equal rights and recognition, and for many—the struggle continues.

Moreover, there is a tidal wave of attitude change looming, as Millennials take over the workforce and society. According to the U.S. Census Bureau today’s 80 million Millennials (those born between 1980-1999) make up the largest generation in history and now have become the largest share of the American workforce. More importantly, survey after survey finds that their collective perspective and experience concerning identity and cultural differences is radically different than all past generations.

"We found a really profound shift in sexual attitudes and behavior," said lead author Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, who recently published a study about Americans' changing views on sexuality based on a survey of nearly 57,000 people between 1972 and 2012. For example, they found that the acceptance of same-sex sexual relations rose from 13 percent in 1990 to 44 percent in 2012. Overall, the study concluded that there is a rise in individualism, with a "cultural system that places more on the needs of the self and less on social rules," stated Twenge.

The Huffington Post likewise concludes that “Millennials are notably likely to look at gender identity and sexual preference as multi-faceted prisms, unwilling to confine themselves to a single checkbox. Hence, Facebook's much-commented-upon new 51 "gender options", including "agender" and "non-binary."

A recent article that has gone “viral” in academic circles about the advent of politics of personal testimony, “in which the feelings of individuals are the primary or even exclusive means through which social issues are understood and discussed,” provides further anecdotal evidence that a monumental change is in motion. The author contends that the power of the single voice can cause a tsunami of reaction, leading many college professors to reexamine their curriculum, lest they risk presenting insensitive material. It won't be long before corporations will need to begin revamping their HR policies to accommodate the new majority.

Thus, Jenner’s story is a poignant example of how diversity and inclusion is no longer simply a corporate human resource option, but an imperative and a social norm that requires everyone’s participation. Each of us not only needs to be tolerant, accepting, understanding and sensitive to the differences manifest in others, but for those who aspire to be leaders, the ability to discern everyone’s unique abilities, motivate a multi-cultural workforce and understand the needs of a diverse market is the key to success.

Perhaps, at the advent of Pride month, there is no irony in Jenner’s transformation from representing the epitome of athleticism and manliness, neatly framed by an iconic orange box—to today’s cover story about a leader and a brave individual who may very well become the poster child for a new generation and an inspiration for anyone who simply wants to be “finally free.”

And when this happens, when we allow freedom to ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

I have a dream today, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1963

Written by Lorenzo Domínguez

Caitlyn Jenner Is Finally “Free” on Vanity Fair’s Cover | Vanity Fair Video

The Trans Umbrella: Information that Matters for an Inclusive Campus

(Note: by making the presentation "full screen" and allowing "keyboard controls" you can to take full advantage of the neat features.)

Trans Expert: Every Child Takes a 'Gender Journey' | WNYC Audio Podcast

Being Transgender At Work Can Be Hard, But Made Easier With An Ally | WNPR News

Give Me Novocain

2011-11-13T20:07:00.000-05:00

Just ran five miles in Central Park while listening to my new playlist, Enzo’s Top Ten Green Day Songs, in an attempt to be a better father and understand my oldest son’s budding adolescent angst.

While I let the constant banging on the drums drive my stride, it was difficult to understand the lyrics; heard a lot of “Mom and Dad don’t understand, I’m in a Rock & Roll band, my mind is about to explode.”

Oh, well, I gave it a shot. Guess it just gets harder to comprehend as each passing day and every fraying synapse of memory widen the gap between me and my own teenage years. Plus, as far as I recall, my frustration then was mostly a matter of pubescent frustration; I don’t recall having any axe to grind or desire for anarchy. Guess, I owe that mostly to my parents. Thanks Mom and Dad.

But than again, I could also blame my relative pacifism on the Disco I used to listen to on my AM radio and tape cassette player—Off The Wall was certainly nothing like American Idiot.

Heavy D is Dead

2011-11-09T11:34:00.001-05:00

Heavy D, the overweight luva, was a rap star, musical icon of my youth. He died yesterday, at the age of 44. I’ll be 44 myself in two weeks, so it was a healthy reminder that I am likely not immortal…after all.

Thus, I thought I’d pay tribute by posting a few of his better known lyrics here from his hit song, More Bounce.

Height—six-three, style —swing beat
Name—Heavy D, so just watch me
Car—Chevy - four by four Blazer
Favorite pasttime? Skeeze chaser!
Size—ten and a half, sometimes eleven
Place of rest after death? —Heaven

Money is the cheapest thing

2011-11-08T11:28:00.006-05:00

*Photo still from the film Bill Cunningham New York, a film by Richard Press

"You see, if you don’t take money they can’t tell you what to do. That’s the key to the whole thing, don’t touch money! It’s the worst thing you can do. Money is the cheapest thing. Liberty is the most expensive."

—Superstar NY Times Street Fashion Photographer Bill Cunningham explaining why he didn’t accept payment for the 100 page spreads of photographs he shot for the original Details magazine in the late 80’s.

Color is powerful. It is almost physiologically impossible to be in a bad mood when you're wearing bright red pants. If you are happy, you are going to attract other happy people to you. -Jessi Arrington

2011-06-11T09:50:00.002-04:00

"If you see something that is not possible, make it possible." Mick Ebeling

2011-05-26T07:00:00.001-04:00

"If not now, than when?

If not me, than who?"

Steve Jobs: How to live before you die- Love what you do

2011-05-25T07:00:00.009-04:00

At his Stanford University commencement speech, Steve Jobs, CEO and co-founder of Apple and Pixar, urges us to pursue our dreams and see the opportunities in life's setbacks -- including death itself.

Click here to view his talk

"Stay hungry, stay foolish." Whole Earth Catalog Farewell

"You should never try to be better than someone else, always learn from others. Never cease trying to be the best you can be. That's under your control." John Wooden

2011-05-24T07:00:00.013-04:00

Other highlights:

"Your reputation is what you're perceived to be; your character is what you really are."

"They ask me why I teach and I reply, 'Where could I find such splendid company?'

"I had blocks in the pyramid. And the cornerstones being industriousness and enthusiasm, working hard and enjoying what you're doing. Coming up to the apex. According to my definition of success. And right at the top -- faith and patience."

"There was a Major League Baseball umpire by the name of George Moriarty. He wrote something that I think he did while I tried to do in this pyramid. He called it "The Road Ahead, or The Road Behind." "Sometimes I think the Fates must grin as we denounce them and insist the only reason we can't win, is the Fates themselves that miss. Yet there lives on the ancient claim: we win or lose within ourselves. The shining trophies on our shelves can never win tomorrow's game. You and I know deeper down, there's always a chance to win the crown. But when we fail to give our best, we simply haven't met the test, of giving all and saving none until the game is really won. Of showing what is meant by grit. Of playing through when others quit. Of playing through, not letting up. It's bearing down that wins the cup. Of dreaming there's a goal ahead. Of hoping when our dreams are dead. Of praying when our hopes have fled. Yet losing, not afraid to fall, if bravely we have given all. For who can ask more of a man than giving all within his span. Giving all, it seems to me, is not so far from victory. And so the fates are seldom wrong, no matter how they twist and wind. It's you and I who make our fates -- we open up or close the gates on the road ahead or the road behind."

Reminds me of another set of threes that my dad tried to get across to us. Don't whine. Don't complain. Don't make excuses. Just get out there, and whatever you're doing, do it to the best of your ability. And no one can do more than that.

Cervantes. Cervantes said, "The journey is better than the end." And I like that. I think that is -- it's getting there. Sometimes when you get there, there's almost a letdown. But there's getting there that's the fun. I liked our -- as a basketball coach at UCLA I liked our practices to be the journey, and the game would be the end.

The courage to be imperfect, the willingness to say "I love you" first, and the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees...

2011-05-23T07:00:00.000-04:00

Excerpted from The power of vulnerability, a TED Talk by Brene Brown

There was only one variable that separated the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging and the people who really struggle for it. And that was, the people who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they're worthy of love and belonging. That's it. They believe they're worthy. And to me, the hard part of the one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we're not worthy of connection, was something that, personally and professionally, I felt like I needed to understand better. So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I saw worthiness, where I saw people living that way, and just looked at those.

What do these people have in common? ...These are whole-hearted people, living from this deep sense of worthiness...And so here's what I found. What they had in common was a sense of courage. And I want to separate courage and bravery for you for a minute. Courage, the original definition of courage when it first came into the English language -- it's from the Latin word cor, meaning heart -- and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. And so these folks had, very simply, the courage to be imperfect. They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first and then to others, because, as it turns out, we can't practice compassion with other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly. And the last was they had connection, and -- this was the hard part -- as a result of authenticity, they were willing to let go of who they thought they should be in order to be who they were, which you have to absolutely do that for connection.

The other thing that they had in common was this. They fully embraced vulnerability. They believed that what made them vulnerable made them beautiful. They didn't talk about vulnerability being comfortable, nor did they talk about it being excruciating -- as I had heard it earlier in the shame interviewing. They just talked about it being necessary. They talked about the willingness to say "I love you" first, the willingness to do something where there are no guarantees, the willingness to breathe through waiting for the doctor to call after your mammogram. They're willing to invest in a relationship that may or may not work out. They thought this was fundamental.

"Strength doesn't always equal success." Matthew Childs

2011-05-22T07:00:00.003-04:00

"Trust yourself and believe, whatever happens...don't give up." William Kamkwamba

2011-05-21T07:00:00.001-04:00

"If we taken man as he is, we make him worse. But if we take man as he should be, we make him capable of becoming what he can be." Goethe

2011-05-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

In this rare clip from 1972, legendary psychiatrist and Holocaust-survivor Viktor Frankl delivers a powerful message about the human search for meaning -- and the most important gift we can give others.

Viktor Frankl: Why to believe in others

Leverage Relationships With Successful People

2011-05-19T04:00:00.002-04:00

The following bit of advice comes from this week's newsletter for our insurance agents at my company. I thought I'd share it with others. The technology has changed, but it rings much like the ancient wisdom of Dale Carnegie, who wrote "Showing a genuine interest in others not only wins friends for you, but may develop in its customers a loyalty to your company."

"Build closer relationships with the 12 most successful women you know (family, friends, clients, community leaders, as well as civic, secular and religious leaders). Use Google, Bing or LinkedIn to research their interests. Look for opportunities to help them meet their goals. Then call them and invite them to meet over coffee to exchange ideas, talk about interests and ask their opinions."

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” Dale Carnegie

Let's Revive the Golden Rule

2011-05-18T15:27:00.002-04:00

THE CRIME BOSS:Leading a life of crime, if only in my mind...

2011-05-18T06:29:00.001-04:00

The Crime Boss
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Part of a series of portraits of people in public that were taken September 26, 2010, while serving as the New York City Adviser for Microsoft's launch of its foursquare photography app.

New York City, May 18, 2011

“He who profits by a crime commits it” —Seneca

I took this photo while walking across the Brooklyn Bridge, not really knowing what I was going to capture along the way.

I would see an suspecting victim and then shoot from the hip. This is one of the shots that I liked most. Made me feel like I had arrived before Wee Gee had to, before all the blood and guts were spewed all over the hard city streets. I felt like I had captured crime in the making.

Or at least that's what my wild imagination made me feel...

Life is simply a little more exciting when you let your imagination tell the story. I've got three young boys, so I am reminded that kids do it all the time. Its a shame that we tend to lose that as adults.

Don't be afraid to use your imagination today. It can help sustain you through another boring one. God knows life in a cube can be awfully monotonous.

True crime writer Jack Olsen once commented in Esquire magazine about the alleged fabrications in Truman Capote's runaway bestseller In Cold Blood:

"I recognized it as a work of art, but I know fakery when I see it," Olsen said. "Capote completely fabricated quotes and whole scenes... The book made something like $6 million in 1960s money, and nobody wanted to discuss anything wrong with a moneymaker like that in the publishing business."

Capote replied, "Jack Olsen is just jealous."

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“I hate this "crime doesn't pay" stuff. Crime in the United States is perhaps one of the biggest businesses in the world today.” —Peter Kirk

© Lorenzo Domínguez, All rights reserved, 2010.

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Read the #1 Bestselling Photo Essay and Artist Biography
in 2010 & 2011 on Amazon—
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Be a leader, be someone that is kind, audacious and helps to push the boundaries of love. —Lady Gaga

2011-05-17T10:55:00.000-04:00

“For those of you that are being bullied, know that the problem is not inside of you. Know that it is insecurity inside the person that is bullying you. And for those of you who don’t feel bullied, take it upon yourself to be nurturing. Be a leader, be someone that is kind, audacious and helps to push the boundaries of love.” Lady Gaga

I can’t say whether or not I am a fan of Lady Gaga’s music. That said I am now a certified avid fan of her social activism. Surprisingly, I am enamored by what she has to proselytize as guest editor for today’s Metro NY. Please read, if only the piece called, ‘Be a leader and push the boundaries of love.’ "Today we have learned in the agony of war that great power involves great responsibility."— FDR

Click here to read one of her more moving editorials.

"If you have something to give, give it now. Serve food at a soup kitchen, clean up a neighborhood park, be a mentor." Mark Bezos

2011-05-16T07:00:00.003-04:00

"The way to a more productive, more inspired, more joyful life is getting enough sleep" Arianna Huffington

2011-05-15T08:00:00.004-04:00

"I no longer try to be right, I choose to be happy." — Ric Elias

2011-05-14T14:37:00.001-04:00

THE LITTLE THINGS

2011-05-04T08:29:00.001-04:00

The Sound of Sleep, 9
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

“If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.” —Anita Koddick

Yes, t’is the season for galoshes, parapluies (paraguas) and Mom’s chicken soup; belated April showers and the coming of the monsoons of summer pests—rats, bedbugs and the dreaded mosquito. Be grateful that we are reminded that it is always the little things that truly count.

Tell someone you love them today. “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”—Mother Theresa

Dare to be enlightened

2011-05-02T07:49:00.001-04:00

Dare to be enlightened
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

There is one place where you can usually depend on finding adventure, wisdom, inspiration and joy—take advantage of what some people have taken years to create, open a new book today instead of turning on the television; dare to be enlightened, rather than simply be entertained.

“That is a good book which is opened with expectation and closed in profit.” —Amos Bronson Alcott

BE INSPIRED
Read the #1 Bestselling Photo Essay and Artist Biography
in 2010 & 2011 on Amazon—
25 Lessons I’ve Learned about Photography…Life!

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The Art of Being Thankful

2011-04-30T17:31:00.002-04:00

Many of you may have seen something about Nick already, a phenomenal motivational speaker who has not let the fact that he has not had limbs since birth him hold him back. His message bears repeating over and over again.

I implore you to watch; it is a great exercise in humility and appreciation.

Nick Vujicic, Being Thankful

Happiness Between The Spider and The Fly

2011-04-29T12:53:00.001-04:00

SAD, BUT TRUE:
“In an age when everyone is ‘overworked, underpaid and trying to multitask,’ a phone call is likely to be an unwelcome interruption, so it should be avoided…”
—J. Whitmore.

Considering all the phone numbers, voicemails, e-mails, bulletin boards, and IMs my “friends” and I actively use, I quickly counted more than three dozen channels of communication:

Art of Happiness blog comments
Art of Living blog comments
Cell phone
Cell phone texting
Cell phone voicemail
Efax
Facebook chat
Facebook comments
Facebook mail
Flickr comments
Flickr mail
Flickr posting
Foursquare posting
Goodreads mail
Goodreads posting
Google Buzz posting
Google chat
Google e-mail (Gmail)
Google phone
Google SMS texting
Google video chat
Home phone
Home phone voicemail
Hotmail e-mail
In person
LinkedIn mail
LinkedIn posting
My website e-mail
Scribd posting
Snailmail home
Snailmail work
Twitter posting
Work e-mail
Work Fax
Work instant messaging
Work phone
Work voicemail
YouTube posting

Today’s ever-expanding web of communication and networking is both an entrapping bane that raises the bar of expectations and diminishes our ability to be patient, to focus, and engage people in a meaningful manner that nurtures intimacy and relationships—as well as an opportunity to inspire and influence others.

Happiness lies in the balance between being the gregarious spider and autonomous fly.

Don’t call me, I’ll text you, april 29, 2011, amNewYork

Expectating

2011-04-28T06:51:00.001-04:00

Expectating
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Photo taken September 26, 2010, Brooklyn, New York York at High Street subway platform.
© Lorenzo Domínguez, All rights reserved, 2010.

The Importance of Not Succeeding
April 28, 2011, New York City:

25 years ago Professor Shapiro told our Sociology class, "Sometimes in life 'closeness' counts. Like in horseshoes, hand grenades, and dancing." I think if you want to be happy that rule applies far beyond that short list. Striving for success is not synonymous with achieving perfection.

Basketball’s greatest player, Michael Jordon, once said, “I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. Lost more than 300 games. 26 times I was trusted to take the game winning shot and failed. I have failed over and over again and that is why I succeed.” It is often simply a matter of trying, not always just getting it right.

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BE INSPIRED
Read the #1 Bestselling Photo Essay and Artist Biography
in 2010 & 2011 on Amazon—
25 Lessons I’ve Learned about Photography…Life!

www.25Lessons.com

Subway Stories
Photos from the New York City Subway
www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/1055070

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The Ladies

2011-04-26T11:43:00.001-04:00

The Ladies
Originally uploaded by lorenzodom

Photo taken January 11, 2011, New York City, 6 Train downtown
© Lorenzo Domínguez, All rights reserved, 2011.

It's About Quantity, Not Quality
April 26, 2011, New York City:

Over the years I’ve heard overachievers proclaim, “It’s about quality” when it comes to spending time with their children. I’ve come to realize that’s not true. Kids just want to spend time with you, no matter what you’re doing.

Hence, I took the day off to do just that. I’ve missed my kids’ spring concerts for 5 years now. Today, I’ll be there—it’s a surprise. Afterward, were going to play Wiffle Ball in the park.

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BE INSPIRED
Read the #1 Bestselling Photo Essay and Artist Biography
in 2010 & 2011 on Amazon—
25 Lessons I’ve Learned about Photography…Life!

www.25Lessons.com

Subway Stories
Photos from the New York City Subway
www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/1055070

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