Suz's Brain Mush

Blogging challenge: first love and kiss

2020-03-03T14:05:00.002-05:00

So I decided to go back and continue answering the questions I'd set up in the blogging challenge that I started forever ago. I can't even remember what's on there, so it'll be like a surprise question for me and a fun answer for you! I'll also update the reading challenge, I think, to see if I can get some of those done.

Anyways, on with the challenge!

9. Discuss your first love and first kiss.

Wow, okay, this takes me waaay back. So my first kiss was when I was 12. It was after my first date, where I went to a movie with my date and a few friends. After the movie, while we were waiting to be picked up, he kissed me. It really wasn't all that great, because, you know, we were 12. It really wasn't anything crazy or super special, but I do still remember it.

As for my first love, well, I'd have to say that depends on what you mean by love. I was head over heels in what I believed to be love when I was about 14. He was a friend, and I always regretted that there was nothing more, even when he tried to initiate it. I was too shy and afraid that it would all go wrong, as most things seemed to go in my life. But even now, I still remember the warm, fuzzy feeling I got for him and remember spending time with him fondly.

My first actual love was when I was 19. I dated someone for four years, and I most definitely loved him. Obviously, that didn't last forever, but it's been a long time since it ended, so it's not something I've thought about in a while. Either way, I'm pretty sure that technically, this would be my first love. The one at 14 was like, puppy love or infatuation or something like that.

Surprise!

2020-03-02T13:42:00.003-05:00

Hallo all!! I know, it's crazy to see an update, isn't it?? It's been almost 5 years since the last one!!

So I figured I'd do a quick update of my life for those of you who follow me on here. I moved to Burlington just over two years ago, in 2017. I live with Gaby and Smush in a comfy little townhouse with a small backyard. I work in Oakville, at a pharmaceutical company that runs patient support programs. I currently work for an awesome drug that helps people breathe better.

I'm also volunteering with Girl Guides, as a Guider to my niece's Sparks unit. That means that I get to spend every Tuesday evening, as well as some weekends, with 22 girls aged 5-6 that are ridiculously excited. Also, three other adults.

I've also started to write again. It's been a while since I felt the need to be creative. I've also been playing with Illustrator, creating some prints that I have up on my Etsy store. My news site is no longer up, mainly because it took way too much time and still I wasn't able to get as many stories, or even many high quality stories, as I wanted to. I'll have to think of something else I can blog about. Books? TV shows? I don't know. If you have ideas, please feel free to let me know. I'm open to any suggestions!!

Also, I've discovered podcasts. Since I'm not on a patient phone line and I have no patient contact, I get to have headphones in all day and podcasts became my new thing. Let me tell you, Crime Junkie is definitely my favourite. There's a few other good ones, but I'm still definitely addicted to True Crime.

What else?? Ooooh, I have a kitty!! Her name is Peppermint, and I love her so, so, so much. She just wants to be loved an cuddled. She seriously is the best cat. She doesn't fight you, she doesn't scratch, she doesn't climb or destroy things....she really just wants to sit on your lap so you can pet her. I wasn't soo sure about her when I got her, but it was supposed to be a temporary relocation for her. But now, there's no way in hell I'm letting her leave. She's my baby and with me she'll stay.

Hmmm...family update. Let's see....we're good. Gaby's in McMaster, doing her second year. Smush is in grade one, in French Immersion, and seems to like it. Nelson is living in a condo with Nakisha and they've both got good jobs and a ridiculous puppy. Jose is living in Toronto, doing pretty good for himself. Kienan is in his third year at Guelph and in the army. Mom and Aidan just bought a boat (yay!!) and are still happy together. Overall, I think the family's doing pretty good.

Okay, so that's my update. Maybe I'll try and get one here to update again. I still have that list thing I was doing, the blogging challenge. Maybe I'll finish it? Or maybe I'll talk to you guys again in a few years. Who knows, right!!

Not Really An Update...

2015-11-06T13:39:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't been on here in FOREVER, but I promise, I plan to be back with slightly more regular updates soon!! I've started updating both Since You Asked and Girls Love Soccer Too, so you should def check those out for now!!

In the meantime, I thought I'd leave you with this picture that's been making the rounds on Facebook. Honestly, I love it. I'm happy with the election results, and I'm happy with the cabinet. I know, I know, we still have to see if they can actually do any good, but I'm not gonna lie, it looks promising!! Let's hope we didn't just give Justin Trudeau our trust and a huge show of faith just to get majorly screwed!!

Anyways, I'll be back with an actual update sometime in the next week. Maybe this weekend?? We'll see. I'll try, but I'm also gonna attempt to write two blog posts for each of the other sites as well as clean my room and do my laundry and maybe organize some shit....or I'll prolly just end up reading and doing nothing productive. Either way, I'll try!!

Fitness update: Two weeks in!!

2014-02-04T13:01:00.002-05:00

So it's been two weeks since I started working out, and I wanted to give you all a quick update.

As I mentioned in the previous post, I've been doing Insanity. Unfortunately, I had to stop. I got to day 9, but it was too much, and I am way too out of shape. I was just hurting my back and my knee (which is new...and sucked) and it didn't feel like I was actually helping myself in the long run.

So I stopped, last Thursday being the last day. I then gave myself a four-day weekend to recover and as of today am back on it. I'm not doing Insanity this time, though, I'm doing Jillian Michael's 30-Day Shred. It's way less jumping, which is what I feel was hurting me the most. So I'll do this one for the recommended 90 days, and then we'll see what shape I'm in, and I'll either do another cycle or start Insanity.

Thankfully, 30-Day Shred is much easier for me to keep up with, although to be honest, I still feel like I'm gonna drop dead by the end.

I'm not gonna post pictures, 'cause I don't think enough's changed for that yet. Maybe once I've lost a bit more and can actually see a difference. Or maybe I can't see it since I see me every day?? Fine, I'll think about it at a month. Anyways, I'll give you a rundown of the changes so far:
                             Weight: -5 lbs                                    Arms: -1 inch
                             Neck: -1 inch                                     Chest: -1 inch
                             Waist: -2.5 inches                              Hips: -2 inches
                             Thighs: -1 inch                                  Calves: -1 inch

Not a crazy amount of actual pounds lost, but enough lost in inches to make me happy. Keep in mind, this was all in nine days, and I still ate badly (yes, I know I need to change that too).

I think in order to lose more pounds, I need to work much harder to change how I eat. In the last two weeks I still had chicken fingers with fries and gravy (twice!!), Chinese food, McDonald's, and lots of cookies. So all those need to go!! Only home-cooked meals for the next two weeks!! Actually, that's a lie, 'cause my bday dinner is during these two weeks, so for at least one day I'll be having margaritas and Mexican food. But other than that, home-cooked meals, damn it!!

Or okay, fine, I'll concede that I'll prolly go out at some point, so if I go out I'll eat something healthy. Maybe a salad, maybe a sandwich, maybe something like grilled chicken and veggies. I must cut out the grease and fast food and junk!!

In the meantime, I'll leave you with Jillian Michael's 90-Day Shred, Level 1. Feel free to join me in doing it!! There's two more videos to this one, which I'm pretty sure you can find on YouTube.

I'll update you all again in two weeks to see how I've done with my new food challenge, and to see if there's been more awesome losses in pounds or inches.

An update?? Shocking!!

2014-01-25T00:25:00.002-05:00

Hallo my favourite peeps!! I guess it's time for that update, huh??

I know, I know, I suck at this. Whatever. I'm sure you're used to it by now.

So for starters, in the last post I mentioned I was gonna be an aunt, so I should prolly let you know that my beautiful niece was born July 28th. She was a preemie, but she was healthy and whole and the most precious thing I've ever seen. This is my fave picture of Gaby and Aiyana:

She's already gotten so big!! She'll be six months in a few days, and honestly, I have no idea where time's going. Soon she'll be all grown and in school and doing stuff for herself. Gaby's pretty good with her, and I love spending time with her!! She's all smushie and huggy and smiley. She's already eating regular foods (pureed, of course) and apple juice. She's got mad love for pears!! Not so much for green beans, though.

Also, I stole this picture off Gaby's Instagram. Isn't it awesome, though?? She's so freaking ADORABLE!!

Anyways, adorable. And her smile is the sweetest thing. Yeah, can you tell that maybe I like kids?? Maybe I should get on that!!

Moving on, I've decided that this is the year that I slim down and look awesome. I realized in December that I hit the heaviest I've ever been, and that's just shitty. It was tiring (and left me totally out of breath) to go up two flights of stairs. Two flights!! That's kinda pathetic, I think, especially for someone who once loved cross-country running.

So first thing I did was quit smoking. It's only been about three weeks, but I'm good with it. Sometimes I really want one, but for the most part, I'm happier this way. I've also started doing Insanity. Like, actually doing it, not just talking about it. I'm only at the end of the first week, but I've already lost an inch off my chest, an inch off my waist, off my hips, and my neck, and half an inch off each arm, thigh, and calf. Isn't that freaking AWESOME?? I think it is!!

Now, I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Insanity, but it is exactly what it sound like. Absolutely insane. It's freaking nuts!! Take a look at this video so you have an idea:

So far, I both love it and hate it. I love what it's doing and how it's helping, but i definitely hate having to do it. Mainly cause I'm so out of shape that it's hard, but I'm sure in the long run, I'll be glad I did it!! I've also been doing some yoga, although seriously, it hurts to try and do yoga after Insanity. Maybe I'll wait until I'm about two or three weeks in.

I've also been eating better, and I've been making more home-cooked meals instead of take-out or ready-made, throw-in-the-oven-or-microwave meals.

It's also coming up on my birthday, for which I'm doing a Treintañera Latin Fiesta. So I'll have lots of Latin music and tons of Latin food. It's gonna be soooooo good!! I plan to have carnitas tacos with pico de gallo, guacamole, bean dip, Salvadoran quesadillas, and churro bites. Sounds pretty good, right?? I though so!! As for music, I'll just make a playlist of songs I like, both in English and Spanish, and people can't complain, both 'cause it's my bday and it fits the theme. Pretty good plan, right?? I'm looking forward to it, even if it means I'll actually be 30.

I'm off to sleep now, since I've gotta get up early to do Insanity. Sadly, it's six days a week, so no rest on Saturday mornings!! I'm so looking forward to sleeping in on Sunday.

And don't worry, as soon as I'm done the 60-day cycle for it, I'll post pictures to show you all how awesome I'm looking!!

Blogging Challenge: hardest thing

2013-10-15T02:28:00.000-04:00

8. What is the hardest thing you have ever experiences?

I don't know that I could pick just one thing that has been the hardest. At the time they were happening, there are many things that I felt were incredibly hard and would never end or get better, but looking back, they weren't really all that bad.

I guess if I were to pick a one of these experiences, I'd have to say my parents' divorce was probably the hardest. Not just because they were splitting up, but because my dad was pretty manipulative with our feelings and picked favourites between my siblings and I to play us off each other, but also because my mom, in an effort to move on, jumped into a relationship with a man I absolutely hated.

Of course, there were other things involved in this terrible time in my life, and it led to me being an angry and depressed teen that tried to end it all, and honestly, I'm still an angry (although less so) and emotional adult. But thankfully the anger and resentment doesn't rule my life as much as it used to.

Recently, I'd have to say that my dog's death hit me hard. I loved him more than I love some of the people in my life, and I honestly thought he'd be around for years and years to come. I've been lucky most of my life, never having really lost anyone. The last funeral I remember was my grandpa, and I was 6 at the time. So death wasn't something that touched me, and this felt like it came out of nowhere. Even now, a year and a half later, I can remember what it was like to hug him and sometimes I stare at the places he used to sit and picture him there. I miss him so, so much.

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A list of things before I die (a.k.a. my bucket list).

2013-07-19T12:05:00.000-04:00

Bucket lists have always interested me. I’ve never really understood why they were called bucket lists, though. I guess it’s because it’s things you wanna do before you kick the bucket?? Seems a little weird to me, but you know, English is pretty weird that way. I’ve taken to calling them bucket lists now, though, because it’s what everyone else seems to know them as, and it’s just easier than explaining why you hate the name every time you use it.

Anyways, so I’ve had one made long before I knew what they were called, and even now, I continue to add to it. I think I was nine years old when I first started writing down the list I’d been keeping in my head for as long as I could remember. Some items have never changed (hug a panda, see the northern lights, learn to surf), while others have been added as soon as I discovered it was possible to do them or that they existed (swim with sharks, write a book, walk the Skywalk at the Grand Canyon).

Thankfully, I’ve crossed a few off my list: I’ve climbed a volcano, visited Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon, camped at Bruce Peninsula National Park, climbed a pyramid (well, technically a ziggurat, but I’m not gonna be picky).

I figured I’d list a few here for you all, in case you need some inspiration. Of course, there’s other, less photo-friendly items on my list, like write a novel, learn a new language, see a broadway play, spend the night in a haunted house, learn to drive standard, and visit all 50 states. Plus, you know, ride a hot air balloon, swim with dolphins, go horseback riding, go paragliding, see the Sphinx…. you get the point, I’m sure.

I would love to see the Cristo Redentor and Sugarloaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.	The Galapagos Islands, Ecuador. The animals aren't afraid of people!! Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!! Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!!
J.K. Rowling is my idol, and I'd love to meet her.	Machu Picchu has always been at the top of my list.
Hadrian's Wall, Northern England.	Jasper National Park in Alberta, Canada.
The Festival of Lanterns in Thailand. It looks like it'd be so beautiful to watch!!	Kid Cudi. His lyrics are incredible, and I'd love to tell him how much I admire him and his honesty.
African Safari. I think it'd be amazing!! Hopefully one day it'll happen for me.	Angkor Wat in Cambodia. I'd love to watch the sunrise.
Party in Rio de Janeiro for the Carnival.	The Great Wall of China.
Own a pair of Louboutins. They're just so pretty!!	See the Northern Lights (aka Aurora Borealis).
Hug a panda!!	Skydive

So there you go. I’m sure I’ll come up with others as time goes by, and hopefully I’ll get to knock some off my list soon. I’m hoping that within the next year I can go horseback riding and maybe ziplining or skydiving. I wanted to get cliff jumping out the of the way, but instead I jumped off a high ledge inside a cave, which I’m not sure counts as a cliff. And next year, a trip for sure. Maybe Machu Picchu and the Inca Trail?? Maybe Comic Con in San Diego?? Or maybe I’ll just buy a pair of Louboutin leather boots (and/or sparkly stilettos). I’d so love that!!
What’s on your bucket list??

Blogging challenge: my desktop

2013-07-18T11:04:00.000-04:00

7. Screenshot your desktop. Explain it.

Well, this one is kinda boring, since I have Windows 8, which means that nothing really needs to be on my desktop. I'll screenshot it anyways, though.

Okay, so as you can tell, I have two monitors, both of which are widescreen. My background pictures change every five minutes from a folder where I've put in pictures of places I think are super pretty (which are labelled at the top) and pictures that have quotes that I like.

As for what's on there, well, there's two quotes in the sticky notes that I've heard recently, which are "Write every day. Not every other day. Not tomorrow. Not after the party. But before. The more you write, the more comes out of you. If you don't give inspiration an opportunity, it will never arrive," which Ethan Hawke said (wwll, wrote) in an answer during a Reddit AMA, and "It's better to write for yourself and have no audience and have no public than write for the public and have no self," which was said by Cyril Connolly.

There aren't too many programs, just a few shortcuts: Photoshop, Calibre (to read ebooks), Handbrake (to convert movies to iTunes format), iTunes, the LotR game I haven't played yet, Mozilla Thunderbird (for some volunteer work I was doing), and a few random folders.

This seems like a boring post, so I'll add a few of my favourite pictures out of all the backgrounds. The two ink ones came as part of a theme I downloaded from Microsoft. The other pictures I find mostly of Reddit's The SFW Porn Network, mainly the EarthPorn and CityPorn subreddits, as well as Trey Ratcliff's work, which he shares on his site here. Then I add the location using Photoshop (I don't change anything else, I just got tired of having pics come up and wondering where it was) and add it to my Themes folder. I've added the sources as best I can, but I wasn't able to find them all. If anyone knows, please let me know so I can credit the photographer!!

Source

Spencer Platt/Getty Images

Source

Blogging challenge: communication

2013-07-17T09:23:00.000-04:00

6. What is your preferred form of communication?

Although I prefer face-to-face, I'd have to say that texts and chat (Facebook or Gmail) are probably the way I communicate the most. I'm not sure when texting became the thing to do, but somehow, it did. I have friends who I don't think I've EVER called, although I talk to them often.

I used to love being on the phone, at least with close friends and boyfriends. I loved talking for hours about everything and nothing. When I was younger, I'd even enjoy watching TV or playing a computer game while on the phone with someone, because it was almost like they were watching it or playing with you.

And then, somehow, that stopped. It became easier to text people instead of talking to them. Even with my last boyfriend, who I dated for three years, I only texted or talked over Gchat with. Seriously, I think I talked to him on the phone only a handful of times. In three years!!

Craziness.

But nothing beats going out for dinner or coffee and catching up, venting, or plotting your world takeover. I miss my epic coffee dates with Jess!! Maybe I should do more to keep in touch and not lose contact with people. And not just a message here and there that doesn't mean anything, but actual, meaningful contact.

I'll get on that. And if you read this, feel free to call me (or text/message me, whatevs). We'll do coffee, catch up!!

Blogging Challenge: De-stressing

2013-07-16T14:32:00.000-04:00

5. How do you de-stress?

This one is fairly similar to the last blog challenge question, but I'll answer it anyways.

Well, considering I spend most of my life stressed out and in a somewhat freaking out mode, de-stressing doesn't come all that easy. There are a few things I can do, however, that help me to calm down and just take a breath.

1. The beach and swimming. Sadly, seeing as I live in Toronto, there is no ocean beach or even really nice, clean, swimable area nearby, so my favourite place is Sauble Beach. At about 2 1/2 - 3 hours away (depending on traffic and how you drive), it's a beautiful place to go.

Panorama of Sauble Beach.

2. Organizing and decorating and cleaning. Yes, I know it seems weird, but when I'm really stressed, cleaning my space helps. It's like I'm metaphorically cleaning my head as I throw out garbage and make space around me and place everything where it should go in a neat and orderly fashion. Usually, this is followed by me re-decorating or moving stuff around and putting new stuff up.

3. Reading. Unfortunately, this has been loosing its calming factor lately. I get agitated and distracted much easier than I used to. Although I did just start a new book (well, new to me) called The Baghdad Blogger by Salam Pax, which is pretty freaking interesting. I've also started to read World War Z by Max Brooks, and I've got a copy of The Cuckoo's Calling by Roberth Galbraith (a.k.a. JK Rowling) waiting for me.

4. Driving. Preferably by myself and for a fair distance, with music blasting and singing as loud as I can possibly sing. Even better if this ends at a beach. I also like driving adventures with friends, where we just go, without thought to where. It leads to some pretty interesting places!!

5. Tobermory. I definitely de-stress there. It's my favourite place in the world, and I'd go there any time, for however long, with whoever wants to see it. Just hike to a nice spot and sit down and stare out at the lake. It's a good feeling, especially if you've worked hard to hike to that spot. And the water, regardless of how cold it is, is amazing. Clear blue, it looks like you could be in the Caribbean. Here's a few pics I took on the latest trip there for your viewing pleasure:

The view at Pebble Beach.

The view on the way to Cave Point, the highest point in the park.

Tom and Kacper enjoying the rocks (and waves) and Half Dump Log.

Kacper walking into the water at Half Dump Log.

That's all I can really think of. Nothing lately has really been helping me calm down, as money and work and life have become an incredible weight on my shoulders. The week in Tobermory helped, but now it's back to applying for jobs and getting my life back on track.

I'm gonna be an aunt!!

2013-04-10T16:47:00.000-04:00

So I'm not sure how many of you are aware that my sister is having a baby, but come August, I'll be the proud aunt of one Reina Fae Oppenheimer. Well, at least that's the name they've chosen for now.


Gaby's ultrasound from a few days ago. She's at 20 weeks.

I'm so excited!! You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to smushing and cuddling and hugging that baby. I also get to buy it a lot of cute outfits, and help dress her to look adorable. And the shoes!! Baby shoes are freaking cute!! I may or may not already have a (secret) Pinterest board for stuff I plan to get.

I can't help it, there are just so many adorable things out there for little girls!! Like these:

Source

And I also get to instill in her a love of all things Hello Kitty. I will buy the shit out of everything Hello Kitty offers.

I'm also really looking forward to, hopefully, teaching her how to love reading. I love it, and I did everything I could (and succeeded!!) to make sure Gaby also loved it. Now I get to make sure her daughter is the same. Somehow, I will also make her love camping and going places. Not right away, of course, but in time. Maybe it'll finally be time for that Disney family vacation we never took, right??

I also get to plan the baby shower. Nothing crazy, but it'll be nice. We're thinking a jungle theme, and my mom's friend Elsa is going to be making lots and lots of Mexican food, along with the snacks and appetizers I make. And Gaby's asked me to make a cake, which hopefully will turn out nicely.

And, on the last bit of exciting news, guess who's the godmother?? That's right, ME!! I'm happy Gaby's asked me to be, as I plan to be there for her daughter through anything and everything, good times and bad. I'll make sure that no matter what kind of life she has, or what kind of world we live in, there will always be a safe have for her to go to and someone to talk to. Because that's my job as aunt, as godmother, and really, as someone who loves her already.

Anyways, this is super exciting!! If you see or talk to Gaby, feel free to congratulate her. I know she'd love to hear it.

How fast the years go by...

2013-02-17T18:13:00.001-05:00

Me as a kid in El Salvador.

So tomorrow, I turn 29.

It's weird. I mean, there's nothing big about 29. You can't drive or vote or drink for the first time, and it's not some big marking point, like a quarter century. You're not even hitting that fearsome new decade.

But it does mark the last year if your 20s. It kinda feels to me as though it may be the last year of your youth. I know, I know, it's not that drastic, and I'm honestly not as afraid of my 30s as I may sound. But I do feel that I'm hitting that age where I should totally have my life together and be an adult.

When I was younger, I was suer that by this time I'd have a career, I'd travel often, I'd speak more languages. I thought maybe I'd be married, have a kid or two, definitely have some dogs. When I was teen, I as sure that by this time I'd be in some war zone, reporting to the world what's happening. Sadly, the reality isn't as awesome. But things can change, right??

I have heard that the 30s is the new 20s, and I'm totally gonna choose to believe that's true. Bad times aside for me, I feel like the 30s could be as awesome, if not more so than my 20s. Even though my friends and I are getting to that age where houses and weddings are common, I don't feel like we're slowing down the fun. Parties are still happening, clubs are still being hit up, and New Year's is still epic. Road trips are still a go, and new places are still being visited.

Me, all dressed up for our 2012 New Year's Eve Burlesque Ball.

So I've decided that I'm going to look at my 29th year as time to get ready for what's sure to make an awesome 30s. You know, do all the stuff I should have done by now: find a stable, permanent job, get my car back on the road, get my finances back on track. Moving out would also be ideal, although in the end, being roommates with my brothers may not be so bad for a while.

Hopefully, by the time I hit my 30s next year, I'll be set and ready to live life. Hopefully I can spend a great part of that decade seeing the world and enjoy the amazing places and do the awesome things that have been on my list for years: do the hike to Machu Picchu, see the northern lights, visit Angkor Wat, learn to surf, go skydiving. Maybe take some classes, learn to cook like a chef, take pictures like a pro, or learn to paint like Bob Ross.

But those awesome things will come later. This year will be all about working towards travel. Working towards stability. Working towards the being able to do the things I want to do, even if it's only on the weekends. It'll also hopefully be a year to get myself healthy enough to live through my 30s. Lose weight, eat healthy, take yoga for my back. Maybe even get some Lasik.

Also, I need to write more. I don't write enough, which is sad, because it calms me down and makes me happy.

So here's to another year older, another year done, and hopefully a great many more to come!!

It's a new year, which means it's time for all those resolutions I'll have forgotten about by next week!!

2013-01-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

So we made it to 2013. It's amazing how fast time goes. Was it really ten years ago that I spent New Year's Eve in El Salvador?? Was it really almost a decade since I finished high school?? Was the first Christmas Dinner that Kasia and I hosted really twelve years ago?!?!

Wow. I feel like all this time has gone by and I haven't noticed.

Regardless, in the spirit of it being a new year, I figured I'd be cliched and come up with some goals for the year. I don't want to call them resolutions, since that title is just begging for me to break them ASAP, so goals works for me.

Anyways, here they are, in no particular order:

1. Get a real job. Not a temporary, for now, or in the meantime type of job, an actual full-time, permanent position. With benefits. The whole temp thing just isn't working out for me. I need something with a little more security and longevity.

2. Move out. I'd love to have my own place, and it'll have to happen this year. Currently, I live at my mom's, but she'll move in with her boyfriend soon, which means I'll definitely have to find somewhere. Somewhere in Sauga, I think, not downtown. And I don't want to look for a roommate, I'd rather have my own place. As for moving in with Matt, well, I have no idea. I like the idea of seeing him every day and sleeping next to him every night and waking up to him every morning, but I also like the idea of having my own space and decorating how I want to and getting the chance to live on my own. Plus, I have no idea how he feels about moving out with me anymore, since I tossed us aside. Twice.

3. Go on vacation. Not camping, but somewhere that I can lay on the beach, drink lots, and not have to worry about a goddamned thing. Cuba, maybe?? Or somewhere different, like St Maarten?? Just somewhere that if I wanted to do nothing for a week, I could. Even El Salvador would be good, although that would be much more heartbreaking to leave than anywhere else.

4. Go somewhere new. Similar to the vacation one, but with more doing. Maybe sightseeing or a tour or hiking or whatever. Machu Picchu?? Thailand?? Somewhere new and interesting and awesome. Honestly, I'd even settle for somewhere closer and less exotic, but till new. New Orleans??

5. Learn a new language. Or possibly work on the two half languages I know (Spanish and French). Maybe learn some new Polish words?? The last few I learned were a few years ago. Time to add something to my mental translator!!

6. Finish a story. I've been stuck for the last while and haven't been able to write too much, even tough I have an incredible amount of ideas. Maybe I can work on getting them out?? I've still got some up on my FanFiction profile, and I've got maybe 20 pages of another. I've also got like 35 pages of an original story, and a bunch of stories left anywhere from 2 to 5 pages. I really should work on those.

7. Find a new hobby. I keep saying photography or painting, but I do neither. So I need to give them my all or get off the pot and find some new ones. I can't imagine me knitting or anything. Cooking?? Maybe more event planning?? I do love me some planning. I could definitely make that into something fun!!

8. Pay off debts. Honestly, I need to do this. If I'm smart about it, and I find a job soon, I should technically be able to pay off all the people I owe money to, and fix quite a bit of my credit, this year. I obviously can't finish OSAP this year, but I could do almost everything else. Or, quite possibly, everything else. Let's aim for as much as possible and hope it goes well, okay??

9. Lose weight. I have to find a way to get rid of at least 60 lbs. HAVE TO. I can't use any machines or go crazy (stupid back), so I've gotta take up swimming and an aerobics class. Maybe I'll join Kasia in Zumba, as much as I don't like it. I've also gotta do yoga or something to help stretch out my back.

10. Relax. Be healthy. Smile. Honestly, I need to just learn to enjoy life and laugh it off when it goes wrong. I need to not blow everything out of proportion and I need to not over think everything and stress myself out to the point I get panic attacks. I need to be on the offensive much less and not bite everyone's head off. I need to think less for me and more for others, and sometimes, I need to think the opposite.

Wow, that's more than I planned to set for myself. I don't think they're hard, though. At least, most of them aren't, so I should be able to find ways to get them done, right?? Or possibly, and maybe even more realistically, I'll forget all about them until the end of the year.

Blogging Challenge: Things that make me happy

2013-01-03T14:38:00.000-05:00

4. What are five things that make you happy right now?

Huh. Well....I don't know. I guess this means five different things, so I can't just list five songs. 'Cause five songs would be easy. Listening to me sing might not make most of you too happy, but that's what earplugs are for!! I guess that means I can't just make a list of five people either??

I'm sure I can come up with something...hopefully.

1. Music. There are bunch of songs right now that make me super happy. If I was looking to cheer up, or I was in a good mood and wanted to sing along, I'd turn on almost anything from Ke$ha's latest CD, Warrior, or Fun.'s "Some Nights". Both make me happy. And if I was looking for older songs that always make me happy, I'd go for some nostalgia: maybe some BSB, some Spice Girls, maybe some Big Shiny Tunes song. Or maybe I'll put on some Rise Against and some Linkin Park and rock out. That makes me happy too.

2. Planing an event. I don't know why, but this makes me so freaking happy. I love planning everything about an event: invites, music, food, decor. I love coordinating everything and planning out all the logistical things most people consider a nightmare. I just finished two awesome events (a Confused Christmas dinner and Burlesque New Year's Eve) and pretty soon I'll be planning something for my bday. I have no idea as of yet what to do, but I'm sure I'll think of something epic!! And if anyone has any events they want help planning, or maybe you just want to have a party but don't want to plan, then let me know!! I'm totally up for planning anything!!

3. Driving. I've always loved to drive. Even before I had a car, I'd always be the one driving Kasia's car. Since I've gotten my car, I get a lot more alone driving time. Which I didn't like at first. But now, I love it!! I try to drive with the windows down, regardless of the temperature, and with the music as loud as I can get it.

4. Apple TV and Netflix. For Christmas, Matt was awesome and got me Apple TV, which we'd figured out (thanks to Robin) how to change so we'd be able to access American Netflix. I was iffy Apple TV at first, but once I saw the difference between Canadian Netflix (which sucks) and American Netflix (which is freaking awesome!!), I was sold!! I haven't been an avid TV watcher lately, since I only watch one show, but that's totally changing. Currently, I'm watching Supernatural, which is totally a me show (hot guys, ghosts and other supernatural things, scary and cheesy scenes), and Doctor Who, which is awesome and full of accents!! I've also been watching a lot of documentaries, mainly National Geographic ones, which are incredibly good. You'd be surprised at the different topics they have!! Right now I'm watching one all about zombies and where the idea comes form and if it really is possible to have a zombie apocalypse. It's super interesting!!

5. Reading. As always, reading is my main escape and makes me incredibly happy. The last two book series (serieses??) I read were The Mortal Instruments, by Cassandra Clare, which I loved to death, and the Divergent & Insurgent books by Veronica Roth, which are also really freaking awesome!! Both are being made into movies, although Mortal Instruments is coming out this year, while Divergent hasn't even been filmed yet. I'm super excited about Mortal Instruments, though, you have no idea. I plan to be there on opening night!! Writing usually makes me happy too, but in the last few weeks I've hit a block. I have ideas, but I just can't find the words to get the out. It's weird, but hopefully it'll get better soon.

And there you have it!! It actually made me feel better to list things that make me happy. I'm totally gonna watch more documentaries and try to write more. And I guess I should attempt to write more blog posts, too, while I'm at it??

Blogging Challenge: Zodiac sign

2012-11-13T17:23:00.000-05:00

3. What is your zodiac sign and does it fit our personality?

So I don't know too much about astrology. I've never been one to check my horoscope unless it's put in front of me. I have no idea what any of the signs are.

I know I'm aquarius, and I'm right at the end (I think Feb 19th is a different one), but to be honest, I don't know what that means. So I looked it up...and realized I don't care.

Aquarius has water as the symbol. I assume that means they like water. I like water - clear, warm, non-fish filled water. So I'm gonna say yes, that means it fits.

I know nothing else, and I don't really care to find out. All the sites will tell me something different, and it's all really a bunch of crap. But at least I answered the question, right??

Yeah, I know. I'm awesome.

Blogging Challenge: relationship with your parents.

2012-11-07T18:33:00.000-05:00

Well, since my parents are divorced, I'll do this as two totally separate descriptions. Let's get the unhappy out of the way first: my dad.

I don't have a relationship with my dad. I think I've spoken to him once or twice in the last eight years or so, and I believe I've only seen him once. Do I miss him?? Sometimes. Do I wish it were different?? Not really. I used to, but not anymore. Does it hurt to know he doesn't care?? Yes. More than anyone can imagine. I do a good job of playing up the hate and the indifference, but it hurts. Every time I'm reminded, it hurts. There's a reason I can't watch movies where a dad apologizes for his mistakes to his children. I have to leave the room and cry my heart out.

He has a new family now. A new wife, new kids. We don't hear from him. The only time I hear anything about him is the few times we saw my aunt, who tried everytime to tell us we should forgive and move on and love him, like he wasn't a piece of shit douchebag that deserved our ire.

He was never there, he didn't help out, he didn't do anything but use us against each other, leave us with no thought when it suited him, and cry to us so we'd hate our mom. He made promises he never kept, plans he never followed through on, and promised a love that he never, ever showed.

There's a song I feel really describes how I feel. It's called "Emotionless" and it's by Good Charlotte. I've put it on my blog before, but I'll add it here again in case you want to hear it again. It's a good song. I think I'm angrier than the singer, but other than that, it's pretty close to how I feel.

As you can tell, I harbour a lot of bitterness and resentment still. I can't see that changing anytime soon. I have nothing agains his new kids, whom I consider my brothers. But when I go to El Salvador, I will not make plans to see him. And if he's there?? Well, let's just say he won't like it if he comes to talk to me.

On to the happier parental story: my mom.

My mom and I in 2010.

I love my mom. I don't feel there is anyone in my life that's a better role model than her. She gave up everything for us, and when shit got hard, she stuck it out for us. When my parents got divorced, she could have gone home to her family and her friends and forced us to grow up in El Salvador. But she didn't. Instead, she stuck it out alone, in a foreign country, with no family and no friends, without knowing the language, just so we could have a brighter future.

My mom looking hot on
her birthday, 2011.

She played mom and dad. She played boss and dictator. She played the bad cop. She played the good cop. And now she plays the best friend.

Never did I not have a warm jacket or shoes. Never did I not have notebooks or pencils or a backpack. Never did I miss a school trip or a birthday or an event. Never did I not have something, small or not, to fill my tummy. Never did I have a Christmas where I didn't rip open presents and love them all. We were all taken care of and spoiled to the furthest extent she could spoil us.

She bailed us out of jams, she helped us out, she listened, she gave advice, she was there.

Now don't get me wrong, she's made her mistakes. She's said the wrong thing or brought the wrong people around or made the wrong choice. But you know what?? She's human. She's allowed mistakes. But in the end, she never left our side, and she never hesitated to drop everything and everyone for us.

My mom in the British Virgin Islands, Dec 2011.

I love that now that I'm older, I can go for dinner with her, or to a bar and get a drink and some nachos. I love that my friends love her. I'm glad I can talk to her. I like that we can go shopping or for dinner or just hang out and talk.

And I like her boyfriend, Aidan. He's a good guy and he makes her happy. He's gotten her to try a lot of new things, like sailing and scuba diving and pretty sure I'm sure she'll be skydiving soon. And she's finally taking vacations and going new places!! And she's made some awesome new friends and goes out every weekend and has fun.

She's happy now and finally living life, and I wish her the best and I hope she enjoys it. Stop thinking about anyone but yourself and have fun - you deserve it!!

So there you go, that's what the opposite ends of the parental spectrum looks like.

But at least I had one awesome parent, right?? I still think I'm lucky. My mom's more than enough, and I'll never be anything but glad that she's here and she love us. We love her more than anyone else. Hopefully she'll be around for a long while yet!! And in the meantime, we'll keep wishing her a happy mother's day and a happy father's day!!

And I'm back!! Well, hopefully.

2012-11-05T14:16:00.000-05:00

Ah, updates. How I fail at them!!

So it's been a few months since I wrote on here, and I've decided I need to go back to writing and sharing my wonderful and oh-so-important opinion with you all. But first, an update on my life!!

Let's try to do this quickly, shall we??

Health: Okay now. I threw out my back and then had the flu, but I seem to be in okay working order now. Joined a gym (which had to be put in hold by the aforementioned health issues), but I'll be getting back into that in the next few days. I've even convinced Jenn to join!! Maybe we'll do some yoga?? I hear that's good for your back.

Work: None. I was on contract, and they ended it (rather abruptly, if you ask me!!), so I'm back to looking. I'm gonna try and find something writing related, although I'll be applying for admin too. I do not want to be unemployed for longer than a week. Or maybe two, since next week I need a day off. But after that...work!!

Living Space: I'm still at my mom's. I'm trying to be smarter this time and wait until I have a stable, full time, permanent job before I move. Sadly, that seems to be impossible for me to find. But once I do, I'm totally moving out!! Hopefully somewhere in Mississauga. And if not, somewhere near a highway so people will visit me.

Family: Gaby's off at McMaster, doing first year humanities, and Nelson's back Humber doing Network Engineering Technologist (I think??). I'm super happy for them. Jose and I haven't killed each other yet, so I'd say it's a success!! And my mom's happy and doing her thing with Aidan in Burlington.

School: I'm taking law classes at George Brown. I was thinking paralegal, but I've been advised that what I want to be (according to the image in my head) is a law clerk. So I'm gonna look into that.

Love: Matt and I are currently not together. It's pretty much my fault, and honestly, I'm not sure yet what the right decision is. It's been 3 days and I already miss him so much.

Life: Lots of partying. I've been to at least one party every weekend for the last two months. This Friday, there's a wedding (yeah for open bar and then hotel party!!) and then there's still a club bday, a house party bday, an open bar and 3-course meal bday, the Xmas dinner, the New Year's Burlesque Ball, and Malanka. I'm sure there's other stuff I'm missing, but that's what I can think of for the next two months. So yeah, there's been some good times had, and there's still more great times to come!!

Travel: None recently. I do want to, though. I think next weekend we're planning a day in the states, so at least I get to use my brand spanking new passport and leave the country. I know there's talk of getting a group and planning a week-long trip to somewhere, so hopefully next year we can do that. I'd also like to go to El Salvador, if I get the chance. Maybe for Easter?? I know they get a week off around that time. And for mine and Jenn's bday we'll hopefully do Vegas!!

So there you go. Now you're caught up in my life and everything. I can't promise I'll update anytime soon, 'cause, well, you know me. I'm not good at updates. Or keeping to schedule or being on time or anything like that.

So I guess you'll just have to keep checking!!

30 Days of Truth: I wish I hadn't...

2012-06-13T19:16:00.002-04:00

22. Something you wish you hadn't done in your life.

There are a great many things I regret, although most of those are things I wish I'd done. So which one of the things I regret doing do I regret the most?? I have no idea.

I try to not regret my choices, because I don't really believe you can live happily if you wish you could take back everything you've done. That said, I also know you can't not regret anything, as there are always some things you just know were stupid.

So I'm gonna go with fucking up school. I won't even be specific about when, because, let's be honest, I've fucked up school pretty bad every time it counted: high school, all attempts at post-secondary....

I also wish I hadn't taken journalism, that I'd taken something more secure in college: paralegal, law clerk, some sort of tech. Even cabinetmakers have it easier. Journalism is super hard to break into. Or maybe I just suck as a writer?? It's also changed since the heyday of investigative journalism, which, to be honest, was the reason I got into journalism in the first place.

So there you have it. Maybe I'll write a normal update soon to go with this one. That'd be great, don't you think??

Blogging Challenge: random facts about me!!

2012-05-31T20:35:00.000-04:00

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

Well, shit. That's quite a lot of random facts. Okay, so let's see what I can come up with.

1. Horror movies can terrify the shit out of me. I love them, even the shitty ones, and am always up for watching them. But there are some movies that will have one moment, or one event, or one shot that scares me enough to not want to turn off my lights at night.

2. I've always felt really weird yelling during sporting events, even when I want nothing more than to yell at the players. I feel like everyone is watching and judging me.

Park in Toronto (left); islands in Georgian Bay (right).

3. I've always wanted to be a Photoshop genius, so I love to play around with it and find tutorials. I'm not terrible, but I definitely wouldn't hire me!!

4. I love music, but the creative process for it (writing lyrics, singing, instruments, etc) are my enemy. No matter what I do or try, I suck at anything besides listening to music. You should hear me sing. I'm pretty sure it's considered cruel and unusual punishment.

5. Painting and photography make me happy. Super happy.

6. I'm a super picky eater. I don't like peppers (of any colour), steak, mushrooms, most seafood (fishy tasting fish, mussels, calamari, clams, oysters, etc.), pickles, carrots, and celery. I can't take hot sauce. I won't even try offal (except chicken heart. Yummy!!). I dislike brussels sprouts and nutmeg.

7. I love making lists. I never follow them, and I often lose them, but I love making them.

8. Camping is one of my favourite things to do in the summer. Bruce Peninsula National Park is my favourite place, and I try to go at least once a summer (it books up pretty fast!!).

9. I've recently become addicted to the Food Network. I will watch anything with Bobby Flay or Michael Symon in it, which explains my new love of Iron Chef America. They make me happy, and I wish I could get cooking lessons from one of them. Or just hang out with them. I do also enjoy Diners, Dive-ins, and Dives.

10. I still consider El Salvador home, even though I've lived in Canada for 21 of the 28 years of my life.

11. I love traveling, and would prefer a backpacking or touristy vacation over a relaxing beach one any day, although I do love the beach more than anything and would try to fit at least one day in.

Original blog as it looked like when I left LJ in 2007.

12. I start new blogs all the time, most of which I get bored of fairly quickly. Brain Mush is the only that I always update (even if it's super sporadically). I've been updating it, first on Livejournal, then here on Blogger, since 2003.

13. One show I could watch forever is Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I can watch it non-stop, all day, everyday. And I can watch the musical episode, "Once More With Feeling," over and over and over again.

14. I love birthdays. Although I do, every so often, get the urge to have a small, intimate, relaxed birthday, I fully believe that birthdays should be celebrated all weekend and as loud and crazily as possible. I'm sure the low-key birthdays will happen more often as I get older, but next year will definitely be an awesome party!!

15. I live my life with music non-stop. I have music playing while I read, while I cook, while I'm in my room, when I shower, while I sleep, while I commute, on road trips, at work (if allowed), and just about any other time I can have music on.

16. I know almost all of the words to Empire Records. I say almost because the DVD version is not the same as the VHS version. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to change it, but they did. Also, I just watched the trailer I added in this post, and I think I'm gonna go watch the movie now.

17. I love live shows. Everything from concerts to plays to musicals. I love them and would watch them all the time if I could afford it. We Will Rock You was awesome, and I'm sad I missed Rock Of Ages. I do still hope to one day watch Phantom of the Opera live. I would love to see Wicked, or maybe a Shakespeare play. I also love shows like Riverdance, and would absolutely love to see Cirque du Soleil.

18. I have recently (as in the last two weeks) discovered One Tree Hill. I never watched it before, and now that I've seen a few episode, I want to watch all nine seasons. Only problem?? I want to beat the fuck out of Brooke. She's kind of annoying, but more than that, I hate her voice. And her facial expressions. And her attempts to act her heart out. She's lucky people like her in a tiny cheerleader outfit.

19. I'd rather wear skirts and dresses than jeans. I love track pants and yoga pants, but I feel weird wearing them when I go out for anything more than a quick errand. And I love heels and cork platform sandals more than anything, but I'm not used to wearing them anymore, and I don't want to deal with the pain of getting used to them, so I don't. So I wear flip-flops and Roxys instead.

20. Much Ado About Nothing is my favourite Shakespeare play. It's followed by Hamlet.

30 Days of Truth: If my best friend was hurt...

2012-05-13T23:32:00.000-04:00

21. Scenario: Your friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do??

Well, unless my best friend slept with my boyfriend, physically hurt my family, set me up for a crime I didn't commit, or had me kidnapped and sold my organs, I'm pretty sure the first thing I'd do is rush to the hospital to make sure they're okay. We can always work our shit out later, but if there was an accident, then I'd need to make sure that I let my best friend know I'm there for them no matter what. No matter what stupid shit we fight about or what retarded shit we say to each other, 'cause those things don't matter in the end. I'd make sure they were okay, and see if they needed anything, and help out any way I could.

Unless they did one of those three things I mentioned (or something equally as bad). In that case, well, all I can say is, "Ha!! Good. I hope it hurts."

Yeah, I can be incredibly mean. If it helps, I'd also call or text them that. 'Cause there's no point in being a bitch about things if they don't know you're being a bitch about things.

Oh, Lucky, how I miss you.

2012-05-08T08:51:00.000-04:00

So it's been a little over three weeks, and I still miss my baby. My Lucky. I still think I'm gonna see him when I leave my room. I still think he's about to scratch my door so I can let him in my room. I still wake up thinking that he should be on my bed.

I come home, and my heart breaks because no one is barking excitedly at me. No one is so happy I'm home that they run to see me so I'll pet them and hug them. I don't have him to take out for a walk. I don't have him to hug.

The love of my life. RIP Lucky.

I just want to hug him. Everyday, that's all I want to do. Just cuddle with him. Give him a kiss and tell him I love him

Every time I feel down, I look for him, because his hugs and cuddles soothe my every hurt. But he's not there, and it kills me every time I realize it.

I miss him so much. It still feels like there's a hole in my heart. I've always known that he was a part of the family, I just never though I'd have to say goodbye. I know it seems like I should have known, but I wasn't ready. I just want another few minutes with him. Is that so much to ask??

I went to Aidan's house last weekend to drop off my mom, and I went out into the backyard. Nelson showed me where they buried Lucky. Never in my life have I had such a strong urge to do something. But I can't dig him up and hug him, 'cause he's gone. And what's there isn't him. It breaks my heart to think of him, in the ground, cold and alone.

I always hated the phrases "Give it time," or "It will get better." Neither of those tell you how long it'll take. I just want someone to give me an actual timeline. Like, "It'll hurt for six months, but then you'll be okay." Something like that, so I know when this hole will stop feeling like it's drowning me in sadness.

I keep thinking that maybe if I had another puppy, I'd feel better. But then I feel like I'm replacing him. Is that crazy?? Regardless, no new puppy for me until I don't cry every time I see a puppy on TV. Or every time I think his name. Or every time I picture him.

I'm gonna make a shadow box to put in my room, and I'll take it with me wherever I go. I saved some of his toys, and I'll take a piece of his blanket and put it in. And a few pictures. I found some of his hair a few days ago from the last haircut I did (and it wasn't pretty, I cried for like an hour), so maybe I'll put some of that in there as well. I don't care how creepy it sounds.

That way, I'll always feel like I have a part of him. Something I can't forget. Something others can see and remember him by. Because he was my love and my baby, and he should never be forgotten.

30 Days of Truth: my not-so-secret love for booze!!

2012-05-08T01:10:00.000-04:00

20. Your views on drugs and alcohol

Tequila good. Rum better. Drugs bad.

I think that about sums it, right?? No?? Fine, I'll elaborate a little.

St. Patrick's Day, 2012. Made by Kasia.

So I started drinking when I was legal at 19... hahahaha, you didn't really believe that, did you?? It's almost as if you don't know me or something!!

So the first time I was drunk I was 14. Someone had gotten a lot of beers, and I drank many of them. They were gross, but it was the thing to do, you know?? And it was a good time.

I didn't actively start drinking again until I was about 17. That was when it became a common thing at parties. Kasia's parties were awesome!! And usually they involved lots of drinking.

Back then I was the queen of coolers. I loved Smirnoff Twisted in watermelon and green apple. And I loved Woody's Blueberry. But sadly, coolers started giving migraines. I don't know why. They're instant -- as in, I take a drink and less than five minutes later, I'm in pain. And if I drink coolers all night anyways (or even just like 3 or so), I'll throw up the next day as if I've drank my weight in vodka. Also, vodka is the tool of the devil (no, seriously, it is!!).

And that was when I discovered the greatness that is Captain Morgan. White rum, spiced rum, and (the best one!!) silver spiced rum. I love me some Captain. It is my go-to for all parties.

Lobsteritas from Red Lobster are super yummy!!

A few years ago I also discovered tequila. At first, I thought it was gross. But then I stopped being a moron and decided it was awesome!! Sadly, I can't drink gold tequila (instant migraines!!), so I drink silver. I have also learned that salt does NOT help. In fact, it makes it worse. So now I just do the shot and have a lemon (the green one. Yes, I know. Leave it alone.).

Patrón is now my drink of choice. It's not for everyday, 'cause $90 a bottle is crazy, but it's so good. Rum and coke is my usual drink, although I do enjoy amaretto sours, mojitos, and slushie margaritas.

Jello shots are awesome too. They're super fun!! And you can drink sooooo many of them!!

But drugs are bad. No drugs for me. If you do weed, I don't care (as long as I can't smell it, it gives me migraines). But anything harder than that and you're not welcome at my party. Just say no.

Now I'm really looking forward to camping!! So much rum to drink....

My secret love of fake orangey goodness!!

2012-05-07T07:56:00.001-04:00

I'm not sure how many of you know, but secretly, I'm a Sunny D junkie. I love Sunny D. I could drink it forever. If I'm ever asked to get orange juice, that's what I'll get. So as a warning, don't ask me to get orange juice unless you want Sunny D. Or be specific about which one you want. And I always make sure to bring one or two bottles camping. It's so not good for you and so yummy tasting. It's so fake....and so good!! I love it.

So yesterday, while on a super quick Walmart run, I came across this aisle, and took a picture. It was like someone at Walmart actually went out of their way to make me happy. So I had to share it.

I'm not sure why someone decided that an entire aisle needed to be sunny D (it was half the regular yellow one, and half of the orange tangy one, which is why further down the colour changes), but they're freaking awesome!!

Of course I bought some. I had to. It called to me. Also, it was only $2 for the big bottle!!! If I'd taken more cash with me, I would so have bought more than one. It's not like they go bad or anything. Seriously, they're fake juice. That shit must last forever!! I should put some aside in case the zombies come or the Mayans are right. Ooooh, I'll make an underground bunker and fill it with Sunny D. Except...well...that would be a lot of work. Maybe I'll just fill my closet and hope my building doesn't blow up due to zombies/apocalypse.

But yes, sooooo tasty. I'm looking forward to breakfast, and the nice big glass of fake orange juice I'm gonna have with it. I don't even know what I'm gonna have for breakfast, but I know it'll include Sunny D.

'Cause there's just no better way to start the day than with fake, way-too-yellow, orange juice. Unless I was on a beach. Oooh, at the beach, drinking some Sunny D. With rum in it!! That'd definitely be a better way to start the day :)

30 Days of Truth: religion and what I believe.

2012-05-04T12:15:00.001-04:00

19. What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

This one is much, much harder than the last one. I can't decide which question to answer. So I flipped a coin, and we'll be talking about...religion.

Hmmm. Where to start without pissing everyone off?? Well, I was baptized and raised as a Catholic. I went to a Catholic elementary school (go, go STM) and I had my first communion and confirmation. Then I went to a Catholic high school (yeah Pocock). I even joined Heart Ministry, which was the group led by the priest at our school and did things like food drives and Christmas baskets.

But honestly, I haven't been inside a church in a long, long time. Well, other than Ste. Anne-de-Beaupré outside Quebec City, but that was more of a touristy thing than a religious thing. I don't think I went to church during my high school years at all. Except maybe if my siblings had a communion or a confirmation. Even then, I may have skipped it. What?? I was like 14. I had way better things to do, you know. I was a good sister like that.

So what do I believe?? Well, I'm not faith-less. I'm not atheist (like I used to think I was). I just don't believe everything I'm told to believe or in the church (any of them) itself.

What does that mean?? I believe there is a god, although I don't really believe it's the god of any one particular religion. I mean, it could be Zeus for all I know. But really, I do believe there is a higher being. I'm not so sure about Jesus. I feel that Jesus could have been some guy that they picked to write about, although I admit I don't know, and I could very well be wrong. As for the Bible, well, I feel like it could have been written by anyone. And you hear all about these books that should have been in there but weren't because they said something different, and while they could all be lies, it's just enough to make me doubt them all.

I don't believe in priests absolving you of sins, and I don't believe confession is the key to Heaven. Honestly, I don't know if I believe in Heaven. I like the idea of reincarnation better, if for no other reason than it means we get another chance at life. But I don't believe that confessing your sins makes you clean and pure again. How can someone who kills a bunch of people, or rapes and tortures women, or hurts children, suddenly be okay because he told a priest all about it and said a few Hail Marys?? That doesn't make sense to me at all. They should be born again as a slug. Or, if I'm wrong and there is a Heaven and Hell, then they should burn forever.

Also, I'm all for gay marriage. I think being gay is something you are, not something you learn, and I believe they should have the same rights to a legal marriage as everyone else. I'm also all for birth control and pre-marital sex. Yeah, let's not pretend that it doesn't happen, 'cause it does. And I like things that will help keep all the pre-marital sex-havers baby-less.

Do I want to get married in a church?? Not really, but if it meant a lot to the person I was marrying, then I'd be willing to do it. I'd prefer a non-religious ceremony, if only because they're so long!! Also, there is that "obey" line I take offense to, although that's easily removable.

I could totally get more into it, but that's the basics. I don't think I'm missing anything super big.

Check out this post, from Avitable, called "Why You're Probably Stupid If You're Giving Something Up For Lent." It's pretty good, and totally in line with what I think. Actually, just check out his whole site. It's pretty funny.

There is a song by a Spanish singer named Ricardo Arjona that I feel really sums things up well. It's called "Jesus Verbo No Substantivo." My mom played it for me when I was younger, and I've loved it since then. He's got a bunch of songs that are awesome and fairly protesty. And he sings one of my favourite songs ever, called "El Problema." Too bad it's in Spanish and most of you can't understand it. Maybe look for a translation??

I guess you can always ask me later. I'll translate for you. Or, to be more honest, I'll email you a translation that I Googled, which you can really do yourself. Don't be lazy. Only one of us can be, and I'm already doing a great job at it.

My mom's chicken soup is better than your mom's chicken soup.

2012-05-03T21:51:00.000-04:00

So I wanted to talk to you about chicken soup. Yes, chicken soup. The food you're supposed to eat when you're sick, when you're down, when you're not feeling well.

The sad part is, most of the chicken soup I've seen here is kinda sad. A lot of it is the noodles in water with some chicken flavour. Sometimes they'll have a bit of veggies, but it's not a lot.

But my mom's chicken soup has always been really freaking awesome. It's fantastic. Whenever I make it, it comes out more like stew than soup, but I kinda like it that way. But I though I'd share the recipe, for those that are interested.

The ingredients may seem a little weird, but that's okay. And to be honest, you can play with the amounts as much as you want.

So here's what you do:
1. Fill a big pot with water. Put in the onion, garlic, chicken stock, salt, and skinless chicken. Let it boil, and leave it for about 20 minutes.

2. Remove the chicken. Put aside.

4. Put in the diced potatoes, sliced zucchini, and the sliced carrot. Feel free to add more or less of each vegetable as you want. Let that boil, and leave for about 5 minutes once it's boiling.

5. Add in the rice. I use Mr. Goudas Instant White Rice (the bag with the pink on it). Leave it for about five minutes once it starts boiling again.

6. Add the chicken and the green beans. Once it boils again, leave for about ten minutes.

7. Pour into bowl. Add avocado and lemon to taste (I like a lot of each).

Keep in mind that the more rice you add, the less water you'll have. If you like it soupy, try to start with a lot of water, or just add less rice. The one cup mentioned here leaves it soupier than I like. I would prolly use a cup and a half or two. I prefer it more like stew, with the lemon juice making it soupy. But I'm weird like that.

So there you have it. Simple enough, but awesomely tasty. I know it seems weird, but I promise you, it is incredible. Best chicken soup ever. This is what you want if you're sick. The lemon helps. Or at least, that's what I tell myself!!

Suz's Brain Mush

Blogging challenge: first love and kiss

Surprise!

Not Really An Update...

Fitness update: Two weeks in!!

An update?? Shocking!!

Blogging Challenge: hardest thing

A list of things before I die (a.k.a. my bucket list).

Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!!

Galapagos islands, Ecuador. I’d love to go and interact with the animals there. They’re not afraid of people!!

Blogging challenge: my desktop

Blogging challenge: communication

Blogging Challenge: De-stressing

I'm gonna be an aunt!!

How fast the years go by...

It's a new year, which means it's time for all those resolutions I'll have forgotten about by next week!!

Blogging Challenge: Things that make me happy

Blogging Challenge: Zodiac sign

Blogging Challenge: relationship with your parents.

And I'm back!! Well, hopefully.

30 Days of Truth: I wish I hadn't...

Blogging Challenge: random facts about me!!

30 Days of Truth: If my best friend was hurt...

Oh, Lucky, how I miss you.

30 Days of Truth: my not-so-secret love for booze!!

My secret love of fake orangey goodness!!

30 Days of Truth: religion and what I believe.

My mom's chicken soup is better than your mom's chicken soup.