Sightings at 60

Death Be Not Proud

2012-03-08T08:16:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, on the train ride home from New York City, B and I spent a good hour talking about end-of-life issues.

We'd gone to New York to see Wit, starring Cynthia Nixon, about a woman dying of cancer. You may have heard of it, since the play, written by Margaret Edson, was originally produced off-Broadway in the late 1990s and won the Pulitzer prize for drama in 1999. Then in 2001 HBO produced a TV movie of the play starring Emma Thompson.

Cynthia Nixon as Dr. Vivian Bearing

    I'm not a true Cynthia Nixon fan. I saw a few episodes of "Sex and the City" and I've seen her in "The Big C" -- but I'm mesmerized by Laura Linney, not Cynthia Nixon.

     Nevertheless, Nixon does an amazing job as Vivian Bearing, a woman with a PhD in English who specializes in John Donne (1572-1631), the poet famous for his lines: "Death, be not proud ..." The play chronicles Dr. Bearing's story, from a diagnosis of stage IV ovarian cancer ("there is no stage five") to her death. She embarks on her journey with no friends and no family, just her uncompromising academic standards. Along the way she meets her match in an equally impersonal and disinterested medical student, and in the end only finds some measure of solace in an unlikely companion.

     The final moment of the play presents the audience with a brief nude scene, as Cynthia Nixon completely disrobes. But by that time, she has exposed such raw emotions, with such complete abandon, that the idea of nudity seems almost ... anticlimactic.

    After the play was over, it was impossible not to discuss some of those end-of-life issues, including the "Do Not Resuscitate" option, and that's what B and I were talking about on the way home. B is all in favor of the DNR order and other health directives aimed at dying with dignity. She also has long-term-care insurance, a power of attorney, and some other health documents as well.

     I'm not quite so organized. Nor am I quite so ready to look death square in the eye. Perhaps it's because B is more religious than I am, and a little more comfortable with the notion of death. I guess I would opt for a DNR order, if I really and truly knew I only had a few days to live, and I was in excruciating pain, and I knew there was no hope at all of recovery. In other words, I'll sign those papers when I get to be 90.

     Coincidentally, author Ken Murray, a retired doctor, wrote an article appearing in The Wall Street Journal, "Why Doctors Die Differently." He reported that many doctors, who know all about the treatment options and have access to top medical care, often decide against undergoing cutting-edge medical procedures. They accept death, and instead go home to live out their lives as best they can and spend their last days with their loved ones.

     "It's not something we like to talk about, but doctors die too," writes Dr. Murray. "What's unusual about them is not how much treatment they get compared with most Americans, but how little."

     He cites the case of an orthopedist who found out he had pancreatic cancer. Instead of opting for aggressive treatment that would give him, at best, a 15% chance of surviving, with a poor quality of life, he focused on spending time with his family. And Murray cites the case of his own cousin, diagnosed with lung cancer. The cousin decided against radiation or chemotherapy, and instead spent the next eight months going to Disneyland and hanging out at home watching his favorite sports teams -- then dying peacefully in his sleep.

     I remember by own dad, who died ten years ago at the age of 91. He'd developed shingles, and when he didn't get better the doctors found he had cancer in his bones, his lungs and everywhere else as well. The doctors were ready to give up on him -- after all, he was 90. But he wasn't ready to go. He wanted treatment. We got him to the hospital where he received some radiation therapy. No one ever said it would be a cure. But it did arrest the tumors for a while, and gave my dad an extra couple of months of relatively pain-free life -- which we all appreciated, my dad most of all.

     There's no easy way to get out of this world. And if you think there is, go see Wit. The play will cure you of any illusions you have on that score. But I'm sure it would help if you have some control over the process, if there's a way to make death less painful and desperate.

     I should go make out some health directives ... I really should.

     So ... here's the John Donne sonnet which features prominently in Wit:

Death, be not proud

by John Donne

Death, be not proud, though some have called thee

Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so;

For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery.

Thou art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell,

And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well

And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then?

One short sleep past, we wake eternally

And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die.

The Blogging Boomers "Souq"

2012-03-05T08:40:00.001-05:00

In March the Blogging Boomers come in like a lion. Not because of cold, unpleasant weather (although the Midwest has suffered deadly storms, and our hearts go out to the victims), but because more than ever the world hears the roar of the Baby Boomers. On serious subjects like Social Security, politics, taxes. And on no-less-serious subjects like shopping, dating, eating ... and laughing. The point is, every issue that affects America, affects Baby Boomers first and foremost.

     What's a souq? It's a Middle Eastern open-air marketplace. And this week our blogger from across the seas, Arabian Tales and Other Adventures, takes us on a little tour of an exotic Dubai souq.

   In 2010, one of our own made-in-America Baby Boomers up and moved to Dubai, in the United Arab Emirates, where her husband managed to get a job involved with a major airport expansion. Since then, she has been blogging about their adventures on the Arabian peninsula and beyond.

   Dubai, she reports, has many amazing shopping venues, including a mall with an indoor skiing area. But she invites us to come with her and step back in time to explore the traditional Arab souqs. "Wander deeper," she says, "through the narrow alleyways that twist and turn." And, if you need a road map to find your way, join her at Dubai Souq Shopping.

     Here at home, The Boomer Chronicles wonders what happens when a man who is a top executive at a Fortune 500 company suddenly finds himself out on the street. How does he deal with that kind of blow to his pride, his psyche -- and his wallet? For the answer check out How a Top Executive Recovered from His Firing. There's a little twist at the end, when you find out who this top executive is and what he did more than 40 years ago.

     Meanwhile, the Midlife Crisis Queen offers us a couple of life lessons. One comes from what she learned from the Amish in The Power of Forgiveness. The other addresses the subject of Divorce and Forgiveness.

     But, to look at the other side of that coin: Have you been thinking of dating online? If so, you might want to take some advice from one of our younger Boomers who publishes a site called The Art of Toad Kissing.

     "Single Boomers beware," she says, "those younger love prospects may not be as exciting as they seem." On her blog, she continues her quest to Never Kiss Another Toad and warns us of the March Toad of the Month -- carefully advising us "how to recognize signs that he may be infesting our Loveseats."

     In a remarkable instance of synchronicity, Boomer blogger Lucie, at Midlife Musings, reports this week on one of her early experiences with online dating -- and how she learned a lot more than she bargained for when as a mom of three teens, she took her first step out to a world she knew nothing about. Fortunately, she could laugh at her lack of finesse -- and is still having fun as she laughs her way through the Art of Toad Kissing.

And, on yet another subject, what's the latest trend in food preparation? The farm-to-table movement. So The Accidental Locavore has been trying to add more local foods to her family's diet, and she tells us how she recently shared a grass-fed cow from a beautiful nearby farm.

Compared to all these adventures, from local farm to exotic souq, my own recent postings seem pretty tame (more like a lamb than a lion, if you will). Still, you might want to check out my latest in the Remember Him/Her series, simply by scrolling down to the next item, or clicking on the link to see the other Remember Her? postings.

Remember Her?

2012-03-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

     After watching the Academy Awards the other day, I was reminded of a quote from a woman:

     "Sometimes I can't figure out designers. It's as if they flunked human anatomy."

     Can you guess who said it?

     She was a writer whose popularity crested in the 1970s and '80s, appearing on the cover of Time Magazine in 1984.

     She started out writing a column for her high-school newspaper and also worked part time as a copy girl for the Dayton, Ohio, Herald, where she eventually got a chance to interview Shirley Temple for the paper. She went to Ohio University, but her material was rejected by the college newspaper and she did not do well in her classes. She left school after only one semester. Later, she enrolled at the University of Dayton, where she did write for the university paper and also met her future husband, who went on to become an educator and school supervisor.

   She also once quipped: "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for go live with a car battery."

   When doctors told the young couple they were unlikely to have a baby, they adopted a daughter. That was in 1953. Of course, two years later they had a biological son, and three years after that, in 1958, they had a second son.

   Perhaps that in part gave thought to her warning: "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

   She devoted her life to her children and her home, as a garden-variety Ohio housewife. But she kept up her writing skills by occasionally publishing a column in the Dayton Shopping News.

   As a mother, she noted, "One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is."

    And as a housewife she observed: "The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one."

     In 1964 she began writing for the Kettering-Oakwood Times. The next year she moved to the Dayton Journal and started to write a weekly humor column. Before long, the column was picked up for syndication to other newspapers, under the title "At Wit's End."

     Through her syndicated column, she grew to become a popular humorist around the country. She began giving lectures in cities where her column appeared, and then became a guest on Arthur Godfrey's radio show. In 1967 she published a book, a collection of her columns -- and ultimately she would go on to publish a dozen books. In 1976, she hit the national bestseller lists with The Grass Is Always Greener Over the Septic Tank and she followed that in 1978 with her even more popular If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

   And speaking of food, she also advised: "Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart."

     By 1978, some 900 newspapers were using her column -- and by now you know she's Erma Bombeck, right? -- and she was also writing for Good Housekeeping, Reader's Digest, Family Circle and Redbook. She moved to an upscale community outside of Phoenix, Ariz., and from there did brief commentaries for ABC's "Good Morning America." She also stepped forward as an advocate for women's rights, becoming involved in President Carter's Advisory Committee for Women and pushing for the Equal Rights Amendment.

     Erma Bombeck had been diagnosed with an hereditary kidney disease when she was just 20 years old, but for years it didn't affect her health. In 1992, she was diagnosed with breast cancer, and after that the kidney disease did catch up with her. In 1996, at the age of 69, she went to the hospital for a kidney transplant. She died three weeks later, on April 22, 1996.

     But by then she'd lived a successful, fulfilling life and, as for any setback, she seemed to toss it off by responding: "If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."

How to Grow Old

2012-02-29T13:12:00.001-05:00

I just finished reading a recently published book, 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans by Karl Pillemer. I'd heard about it a while ago and placed a hold at my library. (I don't know about you, but for me it typically takes a few weeks to get a "held" book from the library, usually because someone else has it checked out.) Then, coincidentally, The Week magazine is running an excerpt from the book in its current issue.

Author Pillemer takes the position that people over the age of 60 are the wisest Americans. Why? Because they "possess a deep knowledge of just about every problem a human being can experience." In the book he gathers advice on how to maintain a happy marriage, raise your children, build a successful career. But the perspective I found most valuable centered on how to approach the inevitability of old age.

     He reminds us that we Baby Boomers (Pillemer and I share this dubious distinction) have an especially difficult time comprehending the reality of growing old. After all, we are the ones who didn't trust anyone over 30, who invented the Peter Pan syndrome.

     "For many Baby Boomers, turning 60 is a fairly significant shock," he says. "The generation that believed it would be young forever, clearly will not. The boomers are having a hard time with the existential reality of life not being one open-ended opportunity after another."

     This statement came as a shock to me because lately I've found myself thinking: I'm having a good time in life. I'm not doing much of anything -- my kids are grown, my career is over -- but I'm happy and I love living with B and I like hanging out with my friends and I enjoy watching the world. I don't want my story to end.

     I think maybe the death of Steve Jobs brought on my recent pensiveness. It's a shock to my system when I hear that someone younger than me has died. And Jobs was only 56 when he left us last October. But also, he seemed so much a part of our lives, for so long, and he was leading the way into the future. And now, suddenly, for him there is no future.

     So I looked to Pillemer's experts for advice on how to approach my prospects for aging. The first thing they said is: Don't waste your time worrying about it. It's a process no one can escape.

     The fear of aging is rampant in our society -- we imagine what life must be like based on old stereotypes, rather than real individuals who can actually tell us about it. And as one sage said, "Being old is much better than we think it is."

     For one thing, we can do pretty much what we damn well please, and nobody is going to fault us for it. We're not tied down to a job or a family, and so we can go wherever we want. Most of us are no longer constrained by social restrictions, either. They somehow shed their power as we grow older and realize how manufactured they all are. We are free to drop old resentments and rekindle relationships. We can accept or turn down invitations based on what we really want to do, rather than factoring in who we need to impress or who we might offend.

     One man reveled in the volunteer activities he's doing. "I enjoy the opportunity to share whatever advice I might be able to offer. You can't do that when you're 20. You haven't built a body of experience ... yet in the part of life I'm in now, you can put all those pieces together and offer to society the benefit of what you've learned."

     Ironically, most of the older people said they do not think about death too often. Or, as Pillemer concludes, "The intense, overpowering fear of dying is very much a young person's game."

     When one older woman was asked if she believed in life after death, she responded, "I wonder if there really is. I wouldn't bother worrying about it too much, because I'm going to find out." A 94-year-old woman said, "I'm not afraid to die. Nobody knows where we go, and we'll never know because that's a mystery. Like my husband used to say, 'If you go to heaven, how wonderful. But if you go to sleep, what's wrong with that?'"

   While many elders seem matter-of-fact about dying, they do agree on one thing: Plan for the journey so you don't leave a pile of problems for your family. They advise people to get organized, tidy up their homes, their belongings, their financial situation, so people will know what to do after you're gone. Some people even take comfort in tidying up their lives -- seeing it as a metaphor for bringing disparate elements together in a meaningful way, rather than leaving everything in a disorganized jumble of unrelated parts.

   The wisest Americans also agree that it's crucial to stay connected as you get older. Some people are lucky and remain tied to a stable social network until the day they die. But if you do lose important people in your life, you need to develop new relationships. Human beings are not meant to live solitary lives, and all the research has shown that meaningful roles and satisfying relationships are strongly correlated to emotional and physical health. But it can sometimes be a challenge. So take steps to remain engaged -- move near your children, reach out to new friends, join a club or social group or support group, sign up for an event at your library or a class at your community college.

     Also, before the aches and pains of life slow you down too much, figure out where you're going to live. Maybe the decision is as simple as staying in your old family home, or moving to your long-held dream house at the beach. But you need to consider if you should move to one-level house, because at some point you might find it difficult to negotiate stairs. You might have to face the question of whether or not you're ready to give up your home and live in a group situation. Many older people now reside in independent or assisted living communities. Almost without exception, they were initially reluctant to make the move, but later said it was one of the best decisions of their lives as they realized the lost independence was more than made up for by new opportunities.

     One elderly sage summed up, "I have found each decade, each age, has opportunities that weren't there in the previous time. There've been joys in each stage of my life. The thing is -- people are so afraid of getting old. Don't worry about it. It's an adventure."

   I'd love to hear about your joys, opportunities, surprises or insights about growing older. Because there is one thing I do know. We're all in this together.

Vacation Photos, and the Most Beautiful Daughter

2012-02-26T09:00:00.000-05:00

I've always thought it was pretty self-indulgent for bloggers to post pictures of their grandchildren, or their vacations, on their blogs. I mean, it's an old joke, thrusting pictures of your grandchildren into people's faces and importuning them to tell you just how cute they are*, or herding your friends into your living room to see an excruciatingly boring slide show of every little thing you did on vacation.

But ... what the hell. I'm going to be self-indulgent. But I'll try to be brief about it. I'll limit it to the Top Ten.

Looking toward Laguna Beach from Dana Point

The overlay, and Catalina Island beyond

That's someone else surfing, not B and me

San Diego sunset -- from Pacific Beach, showing Crystal pier

I'm looking out from Razor Point, Torrey Pines Natural Reserve

This is where I replaced my camera battery, in Uptown Sedona

We visited one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World

But this seems like an unnecessary warning, doesn't it?

Sunset in Sedona, AZ

On the front porch of the cliff dwellers (I picked up that sheriff's badge in Tombstone for $5.)

Overlooking Phoenix from Camelback Mt. -- my not-so-tall brother-in-law, dwarfed by a Saguaro

* P. S. I don't yet have any grandchildren. But I vividly recall the day my daughter was born. I went over to the viewing area, where the dads and other relatives could look through the window into the nursery. Eight or ten babies were lying in their cribs, wiggling their feet and gumming their little fists, and then my eyes alighted on the most beautiful baby there -- my daughter.

     I gawked at her for a few minutes. Then I wiped my eyes and went to find my wife, lying in her hospital bed. I told her, "I know every dad says it's their kid who's the most beautiful baby in the nursery. But you know what? Of all those dads, one of them is right. Well, I just looked in the nursery, and I can say the most beautiful baby in there is our daughter. And ... I'm the dad who is right."

     Later, I sent a photo of my baby daughter to my sister. She called me on the phone to congratulate me, but then she hesitated. "What?" I wanted to know. "Well," she hemmed and hawed. "What?" I prompted. "Well, the thing is," she said, "she kind of looks like Uncle Johnny." And that's when I realized maybe I was looking at my little darling through rose-colored glasses.

     But, not to worry. She has grown up to be a beautiful, smart, accomplished, independent 20-something. And that's the truth. You can take it from her dad.

Mining the Southwest for Retirement

2012-02-24T00:23:00.002-05:00

     Did you know that it was the miners who dug out the Grand Canyon?

     Okay, not exactly. Native Americans were living along the Grand Canyon some 9000 years ago, and the Spanish rode up to take a look in the 1500s. Then several American parties explored and mapped the Grand Canyon in the 1800s, including one group that wanted to run a railroad at the bottom of the canyon along the Colorado River.

     But, the story goes, a few miners were poking and prodding along the sides of the Grand Canyon in the late 1800s. They were looking for copper, lead and zinc. They never found enough minerals to make it worth their while to haul the ore up and out of the canyon, but when a railroad line reached Flagstaff in 1882 and Eastern tourists wanted to go out to see this natural wonder, some of the miners gave up looking for riches in the rocks and went to work on the tourists instead. They improved the trails into the canyon, led mule teams down to the bottom, and hired out as guides to the tourists. One miner, Louis Boucher, opened a hotel in 1889, and another miner, William Wallace Bass, built a campground, complete with kitchen and dining facilities and special stage coach to ferry guests to and from the train station.

     I like this story, which I learned about when a few days ago I visited the Grand Canyon for the first time in my life. To me it illustrates how the West was won. First came the miners. Think California gold rush. Cripple Creek. The Comstock lode. Idaho's Silver Valley. The Black Hills. Then came the railroads. The first transcontinental railroad linked the East to California in 1869. In 1883 the Southern Pacific connected New Orleans to Los Angeles and the Northern Pacific closed the gap between Chicago and Seattle. Ten years later, in 1893, the Great Northern Railway offered another line from St. Paul to Seattle.

   Then, after the miners and the railroads, came the tourists -- to the Grand Canyon, California and a thousand places in between. And finally the retirees, to Arizona and Oregon ... and a thousand places in between.

   I was interested in the history of San Diego's Hotel Del Coronado when I went to visit last week. (We took a walk around, didn't stay there -- it costs a fortune!) The hotel opened in 1888 and has been serving tourists ever since. And I loved wandering through Old Town San Diego -- taking in a city that offered up no valuable minerals and therefore remained nothing but a small outpost until the railroad arrived in 1885. The population of San Diego County shot up from 8,600 in 1880 to 35,000 in 1890.

   When I came back to Arizona, I particularly enjoyed my visit to Bisbee, a little town (current pop. 6,000) nestled in the Mule Mountains in far southern Arizona. The town was founded after gold and copper were discovered in the late 1870s. By the early 1900s the population had grown to over 20,000, and it soon peaked at 25,000 people.

     It was 1877 when a U. S. Cavalry officer, Lieut. Jack Dunn, rode through the area on a scouting mission against the Apache. He spied some bits of interesting rocks, but couldn't do anything about them because of his duties in the army. So he struck a deal with a prospector named George Warren: Warren would work the property with Dunn as a partner. But Warren double-crossed Dunn when he brought in some of his drinking buddies, the group staked the claim and left Dunn out in the cold.

Bisbee, AZ, in the early 1900s

   Soon prospectors were crawling all over the Mule Mountains, digging shafts into the hills, dynamiting the rocks and pulling out gold, silver and copper. Then came the corporate interests in the form of the Copper Queen Mine, which brought in big machinery and eventually started surface mining the area.

     Today, the huge Lavender pit dominates the area. The mine, now owned by mega-corporation Phelps Dodge, is currently closed, but the town itself has been restored, featuring a mining museum, several blocks of Victorian storefronts, and a few carefully restored hotels. Perfect for the tourists. And a few retired people as well, including the proprietor of our hotel who told us she and her husband came down to Bisbee from Seattle a few years ago, and turned the hotel into their retirement dream.

   I'll travel home on an airplane, not by railroad car. But I'll be taking some bits of the West back with me, in the form of a few rocks and stones, plenty of colorful memories -- and the grounds for some interesting retirement thoughts.

The End of the Road in California

2012-02-11T17:55:00.000-05:00

I once made the drive across country -- it was in 2004 when I brought my daughter's car out to San Francisco where she was going to college. I left home in New York and first headed south to Jacksonville, FL, to visit my sister. Then I got on I10 and took it all the way west, stopping for a few days in Phoenix to see my other sister.

I continued on I10, 2500 miles in all, until I arrived at the Pacific Coast Highway in Santa Monica. And as I looked out over the Pacific Ocean, I realized I was truly at the end of the road.

I didn't see Brad Pitt

     Now on my current trip I'm staying in a townhouse/condo type place, just a half a block up from the Pacific Ocean. And once again I am really aware that I've come as far as I can go, without getting wet. It's fun to walk down to the beach at sunset, along with a scattering of other tourists and locals, and watch the sun go down over the water, knowing you're among the very last of your fellow Americans to see the sun wave goodbye to the continent.

   One comes to California with certain expectations. For example, I always expect to see a movie star. But I never do. (It's the same in New York City. But in all the times I've been to Manhattan, I've never seen a famous face -- except once I think I saw Jacqueline Kennedy outside my taxi window standing on a street corner, but I'm not even sure if it was her.)

   I was wrong about another expectation as well. A couple of posts ago I guessed that there weren't many retired bloggers from California -- assuming not too many people retire to California, simply because it's too expensive. I don't know if many retirees move to California, but there are plenty of retired people in California. And among the bloggers are The Fifty Factor and Retired Syd at Retirement: A Full Time Job.

I didn't see Naomi Watts

You expect to see young, beautiful people in California who are hiking or biking or surfing. You also do see a few homeless people (there's a guy living outside a convenience store down the street) who have truly come to the end of the road. All this is part of the California experience. But I have to admit, I am having trouble getting used to the time change. Not the jet lag, which slowed me down for a couple of days. But the realization that, by the time you wake up in California, the day is already half over on the East Coast. I feel like I'm constantly behind, trying to catch up with the rest of the country.

It's only lunchtime, and the financial markets have already had their day. They close at 1 p.m.! The White House has had its daily briefing. Whatever else that has occurred in Washington is already history.

Last week I was going to watch the Super Bowl. I've watched the Super Bowl plenty of times. It's always on at night. So I went about my day, figuring I'd tune in when I got home in the evening. I got back to my room a little after 6 p.m. and turned on the TV, expecting to catch the game. The game was almost over! I was right. It did start at 6:30. But that was in Indianapolis. In California it started at 3:30, and it was practically over by 6:30.

I didn't see Daniel Craig

   I think if I lived in California I'd feel like I was missing    out on most of what's going on in America. But my daughter, who is much more at home in California, has a different point of view. She likes the idea that everything else in the country has already occurred by the time you're done at work. That way, you go home and you know nothing else is going to happen. So you can relax and enjoy the extra three hours you have in the day.

     "Maybe that's why people are so laid back out here in California," I ventured. "They all have an extra three hours at the end of the day to chill out."

     And I thought, maybe that's why people in California feel like they're a little different from those of us in the East, the South and the Midwest. Whatever we do in the rest of the country -- by the time it gets to California, it's history. It's done. It's over. Like the Super Bowl.

But I viewed some beautiful sunsets over the Pacific

A Range of Thoughts from Arizona

2012-02-07T13:43:00.001-05:00

   I have to admit, I really don't like to fly. Actually, I'm afraid to fly. But so are a lot of people, even though not everyone is willing to admit it. So why do they call the place where you go to get on the airplane the "terminal"? Doesn't instill a lot of confidence in people like us.

     That being said, my experience on U. S. Air was about as good as it gets. There was no mob scene at the airport. Check-in was not a problem. We took off without delay. The flight was smooth. We arrived on time. The whole experience almost made me want to fly again ... well, I guess I'll have to if I want to go home.

     So I arrived in Arizona a few days ago, and I find that I am sleeping extremely well. I fell into bed at 9:15 last night; I read for a little while, but couldn't say awake past 10 p.m. Then I slept soundly until 7:15 this morning. A good nine hours of solid sack time! I dunno if it's because I'm on vacation, or if it's the dry air, or what, but if you're having trouble sleeping, come to Arizona!

   There are a couple of things that make me nervous, however. Apparently there's been a rash of home invasions in the area recently. When I arrived, people were talking about a double murder that had occurred just a few days before, in one of the nicer neighborhoods of Phoenix.

     It's pretty gruesome. A retired doctor and his wife were found bound, shot and burned beyond recognition in the master bedroom of their suburban home. Authorities have released no official statements. But the rumor I heard from another Phoenix doctor suggests it was a home invasion gone bad -- two men had followed the couple into their garage but they'd been recognized by the man. And so the couple had to be killed. And then the house was set on fire. Two suspects were arrested by the end of the week.

     This could happen anywhere, I suppose. And honestly, I don't know if the crime rate around Phoenix is any worse than anywhere else. But I'll tell you one thing. My sister and all her friends are being very careful to close their garage doors and lock their doors at night.

     Meanwhile, there's a proposal on the ballot in Arizona to allow people to carry concealed weapons on college campuses. Arizona already has the worst gun-safety laws in the nation, tied at the bottom with Utah and Alaska, according to the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. Now, I don't know how many 18 - 22 year olds you know, but when I look around and see how those kids drive, and how they can be impulsive, and how they experiment with drinking and drugs and who knows what else, do you really think it's a good idea to give them a license to carry a concealed weapon?

     Yeah, yeah, I know a lot of people in the military are 20 years old, and carry much more deadly weapons than a concealed gun. But the kids in the military have been trained, and they are under the supervision of older, more experienced, more responsible officers. It would make me very nervous to be walking around a college campus, wondering who was packing heat, and who was not. If nothing else, it might inhibit class discussion, don't you think?

The Heard Museum in Phoenix features Indian arts and culture

     Of course, I don't spend much time on a college campus anymore. But it also makes me a little nervous driving around the streets of Phoenix, wondering who's carrying and who's not.

     Although, when I am driving around the streets of Phoenix, I'm not always aware that I'm even in Arizona. In fact, the Phoenix metro area seems like Florida to me -- miles and miles of strip malls and low-slung office buildings and parking lots dotted with palm trees. I think of the Valley of the Sun as Florida -- without the water. Except every once in a while you turn a corner and there, up ahead, is a mountain, or mountain ridge. And you're surprised. Oh yeah ... we are in Arizona.

   One place I did drive was to the Heard Museum, a beautiful oasis in the middle of Phoenix dedicated to American Indian arts and cultures. (They say American Indian, not Native American, so I'm just going with their terminology.) I recommend a visit if you're in town.

   As you can see I have mixed initial reactions to Phoenix -- and I've yet to experience the rest of Arizona, which I will do after I get back from California. Like everywhere else, I suppose, there are some good things and some bad things. But I didn't come here to judge Phoenix. Plenty have people have already done that, and given it high marks. Americans have voted with their feet, moving to Phoenix in droves. The place has been growing for decades and is still attracting people, despite what you hear about the bad economy and horrible real-estate market and the poor gun-safety laws.

     As for me, I might not want to retire and live here; but it's a great place to visit. The people, by and large, seem friendly. The prices are reasonable (at least compared to the Northeast). And the weather in February is fantastic. Great for sleeping!

Retirement Research ... or Vacation?

2012-02-03T06:29:00.000-05:00

     Some people may say I'm going on vacation. No, no, no, no ... I'm doing research!

     I'm heading out to Arizona and Southern California, to visit my sister and my daughter. But I do -- I really do -- have it in the back of my mind that maybe, just maybe, this is a place where B and I would like to retire.

     It's a long shot, to be sure. B and I are really East Coasters at heart ... don't think we'd ever feel "at home" west of the Mississippi. Plus, at least three of our four children are located on the East Coast. (We never know about my daughter -- she's got a big case of wanderlust; as soon as she plunks down in one location, she's already thinking about the next place she's going to move.)

   I realize Arizona is nothing new for many retired bloggers, especially for people who live there, like Satisfying Retirement or people who take extended vacations there, like Thoughts from a Bag Lady in Waiting. Although it occurs to me that I haven't seen many retired people blogging from California -- maybe California is a place you relocate from, not to, when you retire.

   In any case, I'll be doing more traveling than blogging for the next few weeks. I'll check in from time to time, but not with my usual regularity.

     So yesterday B turned to me and said, "Gee, what do we do if we really like it out there in Arizona or California?"

     I laughed, because I don't think it's gonna happen. "Don't worry," I said, "I really don't see us falling in love with Arizona as a place to live -- we like to be near the ocean, not out in the desert. And as for San Diego? Well, maybe we'll like it and want to live there. But we can't afford it."

     So maybe that's why there aren't too many retired people blogging from California. Anyway, we'll see.

Remember Him?

2012-02-01T08:15:00.000-05:00

He said he never knew who his real, biological parents were, but he did seem to know that he was born in New York City, and his birthday was February 3, 1907. He was adopted at an early age and raised by a widow in Doylestown, Pa. He was bitten by the travel bug early in life, and while still in high school he traveled across the country, using his thumb and riding the rails.

In 1925 he graduated from Doylestown High School and went to nearby Swarthmore College, where he played basketball and was described as the poorest boy in school, and also the brightest. After he graduated, with highest honors, he headed to Europe where he traveled and briefly went to school in Scotland.

Swarthmore College

     But his first ambition was to be a teacher. He landed a job as an English teacher at the exclusive private school, The Hill School, in Pottstown, Pa. -- a school later made famous by Tobias Wolff in his novel Old School. He then went to teach at the George School in Newtown, Pa., where he met and married his first wife. Next he headed out to Colorado to get a master's degree in teaching. A few years later, he landed a one-year teaching job at Harvard. But after that, he decided to leave the profession, and he found a job in New York as a social studies textbook editor at MacMillan & Co.

   When World War II started, he was called to active duty and joined the Navy. He became a lieutenant, assigned as a Naval historian, and in connection with his recording of events was sent on various missions across the South Pacific.

   When he returned from the war, he first went back to work at MacMillan, then decided to try to make his living as a writer. He had plenty of success, but suffered some failures as well. He tried his hand at television writing, but was unable to sell any scripts. He was involved in one show, "Adventures in Paradise" that made the air in 1959, but even that was only a modest success. After his Hollywood ambitions fizzled, he took on a more steady assignment as a Roving Editor for Reader's Digest magazine.

   In 1960 he signed on as chairman of the Bucks County, Pennsylvania, committee to elect John F. Kennedy. Two years later, in 1962, he ran for Congress from the 8th District of Pennsylvania. He was defeated by the Republican incumbent. In the meantime, he divorced his first wife, married his second wife, then got divorced once again and in 1955 married his third wife, Mari Yoriko Sabusawa of Las Animas, Colorado. They remained married for 39 years, until her death in 1994.

   All these were important events in his life, but they were not what made him famous. His claim to fame came from his stories from the war in the Pacific. He mailed them to his former employer, MacMillan, and they were published in 1947 as Tales of the South Pacific. The book won the Pulitzer Prize in 1948 and provided the basis for the megahit musical South Pacific by Rodgers and Hammerstein, starring Mary Martin.

     The play opened on Broadway in 1949. It won the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1950 and garnered ten Tony awards, including best musical. The movie was released in 1958, starring Mitzi Gaynor, and became the top-grossing film of the year. (Doris Day was offered the starring role, but turned it down, while Elizabeth Taylor tried out for the part but didn't get it.)

     Meanwhile, the writer -- obviously, by now you know he's James Michener -- went on to write literally dozens of books that altogether sold some 75 million copies. His 1959 novel Hawaii was based on extensive research (he lived in Hawaii for several years), and set the stage for his subsequent books, which were noted for their historical breadth and depth, their memorable characters, their easy readability ... and their sheer length. Several of his tomes ran on for over 1000 pages.

     I'd be interested to know how many people have read the Michener classics, and which ones were favorites. I myself never read Tales of the South Pacific, although I certainly saw the movie, but I did read The Covenant when it came out in 1980. A few years later I read Poland. And then last year, in advance of taking a short vacation to Chincoteague, Va., I read Chesapeake -- and was reminded once again just how ambitious, and how good, these books really are.

Michener died in 1997 at the age of 90 and was buried in Austin, Texas, where he spent his final years. He gave away much of the money he earned from his books, including an endowment to the University of Texas to create The Michener Center for Writers. He also gave money to the Iowa Writers Workshop, and then left the bulk of his estate to his alma mater Swarthmore College.

Today, a library at the University of Northern Colorado is named after Michener, as is a suite at one of his favorite hotels, the Raffles Hotel in Singapore. There's a James A. Michener Art Museum in Doylestown, Pa., that features the work of local artists. In 1998, a group of enthusiasts formed the James A. Michener Society which meets periodically to promote his work and share stories about his life.

Blogging Boomers January Carnival

2012-01-30T12:09:00.000-05:00

The end-of-January version of the Blogging Boomers Carnival is now up in lights over at the Midlife Crisis Queen. She congratulates all of us for making it past the holiday season, and now turns her attention to the next milestones that we all have in common -- The Super Bowl, the Oscars and Spring!

So head on over and pick up some different perspectives on the art of aging -- ranging from suggestions for part-time jobs, to how Super Bowl ads cater to Boomers, to why one blogger has decided to write what she wants, rather than what she "should." Enjoy!

Economic Myths from the Political Campaign

2012-01-29T09:43:00.001-05:00

I avoid about 99.5% of the blather that comes out of Fox and MSNBC, and I managed to miss about 95% of the Republican presidential debates. But even tuning in for a few minutes here and there, I've heard my share of political punditry, social commentary and economic posturing -- not to mention the opinionated reports one gets from newspapers and magazines. (By the way, I recommend The Week magazine. It's succinct, reasonably thorough, and not larded with too much political bias.)

People promulgate their points of view and often try to present them as facts. Even when someone says, "But the fact of the matter is ..." usually what follows is just an opinion or unexamined assumption. Here are some of the things I've heard recently, repeated over and over -- things that are just not true, or (at least in my opinion) mostly not true.

Rich people create jobs. This is a favorite canard of certain politicians, but it’s not really true – unless you count the hiring of a few English butlers and undocumented gardeners. The people who really create jobs are middle-class consumers.

Investors and entrepreneurs do create small companies. But most small companies are funded by family funds, not rich people's money. Think of Apple or Microsoft. They were started by college dropouts, not wealthy hedge funds. Or think of a local store or restaurant, or even a franchise. The capital to start these businesses typically comes from the person's family, supplemented by a bank loan or a credit-card loan, not a wealthy benefactor.

But aside from how a new company is funded, what a new company needs more than anything is customers to buy its products. The largest portion of customers, by far, is the middle class, which spends most of what it earns, as opposed to the superrich who save a lot of their money and store it in banks and non-productive assets like art or real estate. A lot of poor people create successful businesses if they have the customers. A rich person with no customers -- that's the DeLorean.

Social Security is dead. Social Security has started paying out more than it takes in from the payroll tax -- especially now that the employee portion of the tax has been lowered from 6.2 percent to 4.2 percent. But according to latest reports, Social Security will be able to pay all of its obligations for the next 26 years. After 2037, it will still be able to pay 78 percent of promised benefits – and that’s assuming no change to the system. Congress has more than two decades to make adjustments that will keep the system whole, such as raising the retirement age, increasing the salary cap on the payroll tax, or changing inflation adjustments.

But let's not get complacent. Some people shout and scream that Social Security should never be touched because it does not add to the budget deficit. Actually, Social Security never did add to the federal deficit ... until recently. Now it does pay out more than it takes in from the payroll tax, so it's cashing out some of the surplus that it's been paying over to the federal budget for the past 75 years. But the real problem lies in the future, when beneficiaries overwhelm workers and, if things don't change, Social Security, along with Medicare, will add mightily to the federal deficit.

Another rallying cry you hear: "You can't cut my benefits, because I paid for them!" I sympathize with this point of view, but it's not entirely accurate. Sure, we all paid in for many years. But our payments went to our parents, not to any "lockbox." Now we're relying on our younger siblings and children to pay our benefits -- and there aren't as many of them. We are also living longer, and on average receiving more payments than our parents and grandparents ever did. Most beneficiaries get more out of Social Security than they ever put in, and the way to maximize your benefits is not to argue for a bigger check -- that's a hard sell in this economic environment -- but to take care of yourself and live a long time.

College is too expensive. Tuition has climbed over $50,000 a year at many private universities, leaving students deeply in debt. But, on average, college still pays off. Just consider the current unemployment rates as tallied by the Bureau of Labor Statistics: Less than high-school education: 14.9%; high school education: 10.3%; college degree: 5.4%; professional degree: 2.4%.

Plus, on average people who pay top-dollar at the most-expensive universities also earn more money. One survey of Ivy League students graduating in the 1970s and ‘80s found that people from these high-priced schools earned 15 to 40 percent more than their counterparts from less competitive, and less expensive, schools.

But it's important to remember that not all graduates of prestigious colleges earn more than students from state universities or community colleges. A lot of a person’s earning power depends not on the size of his or her college tuition, but on the choice of major. Students majoring in engineering, business and management are the top earners. Those majoring in education, religious studies and fine arts earn a lot less. College is only “too expensive” if you go to an exclusive private school and major in a subject with little economic value.

Saving the environment costs jobs. Research says that environmental regulations make production more expensive, thus reducing demand and costing jobs. This is true, as far as it goes. However, studies have also shown that environmental technology creates even more jobs, ranging from blue-collar construction jobs to high-paying scientific research jobs.

One 2009 study concluded that solutions to climate change – investing in renewable energy sources, building out high-speed rail, creating a smart-grid infrastructure – could generate over 1 million new jobs in this country. Another study calculated that a $100 billion decrease in oil imports would create 900,000 new jobs.

The U.S. economy is in permanent decline. Despite recent financial problems, the U. S. still boasts the largest economy in the world, accounting for a quarter of the globe’s economic activity. The U. S. is the largest trading nation, provides the most reliable reserve currency, and is home to more major international corporations than any other country. Even with relatively high unemployment, America attracts the most foreign investment, and its net migration is among the highest in the world. The U. S. also ranks near the top in the global competitiveness index produced by the World Economic Forum.

For a quick review of the challenges facing the U. S. economy, and how we can thrive in the midst of global competition, check out Thomas Friedman's piece in today's New York Times.

Experts project that China’s economy will catch up to the U. S. by 2020. But not because the U. S. economy isn’t growing. It’s because China is growing faster. With more than four times the population of the U. S., it only makes sense that China will eventually have a bigger economy. But even then, the average American will be a lot richer than the average Chinese.

Sit on the Fence -- or Walk a Fine Line

2012-01-26T10:57:00.007-05:00

     First of all, let me admit that I'm as guilty as anyone. I had a desk job for over 30 years, for which the primary qualification was the ability to sit still for eight to ten hours every day, with an occasional break to attend a meeting ... where the main requirement was the necessity to sit still for somewherre between 45 minutes and an hour. In addition, I commuted to work, which for the first few years of my career involved sitting on a train for 45 minutes every morning and evening; then after that, sitting in a car every morning and night.

   "Sitting 6+ hours per day makes you up to 40% likelier to die within 15 years than someone who sits less than 3. Even if you exercise."

     For all my efforts what did I end up with? A 401K plan, an IRA account; a herniated disk in my neck and a case of carpal tunnel syndrome. Last year I had to undergo surgery for carpal tunnel, followed by six weeks of occupational therapy. Now, at night, I wear a flexible brace on my elbow to prevent further nerve damage in my arm. Also, when the disk in my neck acts up, causing back pain and tingling down my arm, I strap on a neck brace when I go to bed to keep my spine straight while I sleep.

   "People with sitting jobs have twice the rate of cardiovascular disease as people with standing jobs."

     Now that I'm retired, what do I do? I sit at my computer for about six hours a day. However, now I make sure to stand up and take a walk at least once an hour -- in the winter I do six or eight loops around the house, through the kitchen, dining room, living room, around past the laundry and back into the kitchen. In the summer I walk around the yard. (I also walk the golf course, but that's another story.)

   "Those who sit 3 hours or more per day watching TV are 64% more likely to die from heart disease."

     The point is, too much sitting is very bad for you. I know this. We all know this. So last year I joined my local sports club. I now try to head up there as often as I can to ride a stationary bike and "pump iron" on a weight machine. The trouble is, life gets in the way, and I'm not very disciplined. I only get to the health club about once a week, and I know that's not nearly enough.

   "Obese people sit for 2.5 more hours per day than thin people."

     When I had kids at home, we had a dog, and it was my job to walk him every night. That helped some. But I was younger then; it was before I'd developed back problems and nerve problems. After my kids had grown and our dog died, I did not get another pet. But when I met B, she had a dog, and she got me to go with her when she walked her dog in the evening. But she couldn't get me to go with her in the morning. And that's when she walks two or three miles around the neighborhood. B doesn't have any back problems; she doesn't have any nerve problems, because she walks every day, rain or shine, summer and winter.

     Occasional exercise is better than no exercise. But it's walking every day that keeps you in shape, keeps the weight down, and keeps the muscles and ligaments and bones working through your 6th and 7th and 8th decades.

   "The human body simply isn't built to sit for long periods of time."

     I always knew I needed to sit less and walk more. Since discovering this graphic, I've redoubled my efforts. I'm getting better. I don't want to be 40% likelier to die in the next 15 years. But I'm also open to suggestions ... about how people manage to put more walking in their lives, and less sitting around watching TV or typing into the computer.

     For those of you who want to read the fine print of this graphic, step over to "Sitting Is Killing You" on this Medical Billing and Coding website. (For some reason, this is as large as I could get the graphic to reproduce via Blogger.) Go ahead, take the walk. It's good for you.

The Myth of the School Budget

2012-01-22T23:38:00.002-05:00

     I was going to write about several economic myths that have circulating around lately, largely due to the political season. But then on Friday, B came home from work and she was outraged. "I heard they have to cut $3 million from the school budget," she harrumphed. "That's terrible!"

     "Where did you hear that?" I wondered. We'd been talking about the schools a few days ago, even though our kids are well past high-school age, and we no longer use the schools.

     "They were talking about it at the library," she said.

     "Wow, it's hard to believe," I replied. Not because I don't know that times are tough. It's just that I had written a check for the school tax, only a few days ago, due at the end of January, to the tune of $4,700 -- and that's only half of the annual school tax, the second installment. It seemed like a big check to me, so I'd dug out my files and compared it to last year's bill, which was $4,440. That's an increase of $260, or 5.9 percent.

     Plus, the other thing I'd noticed, last week, was that the parking lot at the town park is full of potholes, while I know that the school parking lot was recently repaved, one of the last steps in a multimillion dollar renovation. The contrast was so great it got me thinking that, in our town at least, the schools are rich, while the town gets along as a poor relation. When I'd gone into town hall to hand in my check, I remarked to the secretary that the town parking lot looked pretty chewed up, that the school tax bill was a lot bigger than the town tax bill, and it seemed to me that the school was rich and the town was poor.

    "Oh, well," she shrugged. "The school gets whatever it wants."

     Later, I saw the local newspaper. It turns out that the school superintendent is proposing a budget increase for next year of 6.77 percent, or $4.6 million. The alternative budget calls for a 2.2 percent increase. If the alternative budget is passed, it would total $3.3 million less than what the superintendent is proposing -- but still $1.3 million higher than this year's budget.

     So the rumored cut of $3 million is a complete myth. The $3 million cut is actually a $1.3 million increase. By the way, the reason the superintendent wants a 6.77 percent increase in this difficult economic time is because he needs the money to fund the pension program and, without it, he says he will have to lay off 25 "fulltime educators." What are fulltime educators? I don't know, but it seems they're not all teachers (as he's trying to suggest). Some are assistant coaches for the sports teams and others are classroom "helpers." It also seems that the majority of teachers would sacrifice 25 of their own -- 25 layoffs -- rather than take a smaller increase in their pensions.

   I don't mean this to be a diatribe against the schools or the teachers. I happen to think that teachers are important, and that we need to invest in the education of our kids. I just don't like administrators threatening the public that if they don't get what they want, then they're going to lay off a bunch of teachers. And I don't like the dishonesty involved in trying to say that a budget increase is somehow a budget decrease.

     I also like to think that I'm a liberal -- or at least, fairly so. And liberals are usually in favor of the schools and the teachers. But I don't know why it's "liberal" to back the interests of a superintendent making $200K a year over the interests of regular people who make a lot less than that -- many of them retired on fixed incomes that are a tiny fraction of $200K.

     This school taxes issue hits home, in part because I pay pretty high school taxes already, and I don't even have any kids in the school system. And while I want to support the local schools, and education in general, it seems that school administrators everywhere exploit the fears of the public, and the innocence of the kids, in order to gobble up more and more money into their system.

     Like I said, I think teachers do an important job and should earn good salaries (although as you can see, I'm not quite so supportive of school administrators). I also know that, around here at least, teachers do get paid pretty well. It's not unusual for a veteran teacher to pull in a salary of over $100K a year plus all the benefits -- and then make more coaching a sports team or teaching summer school.

     And I'm pretty sure it's not just around here. I recently drove through several depressed towns in upstate New York and central Pennsylvania, as well as parts of Virginia and North Carolina, where the houses are kind of shabby and the storefronts run down, but the school buildings are brand new, with nice landscaping and top-notch playing fields. Obviously, these school budgets are big. The school is the nicest building in town.

    So sometimes I wonder how well all our tax money is put to use ... how effective the schools are in actually teaching kids, how much money is eaten up by administrative costs, and how many resources are spread around for nonacademic purposes.

     If the school system was really putting kids first, maybe the high school should start classes later in the day, because numerous studies have shown that adolescents do not learn as well early in the morning. Maybe school systems could start teaching foreign languages in first grade -- as they do in many other countries -- because many studies have shown that the younger you are the easier it is to learn a language.

     And maybe the highly paid administrators could lengthen the school year, which currently relies on the agrarian school calendar of the 19th century. Maybe with more days in school, our kids could start catching up with the Asians who are outscoring Americans at every turn.

Never, Ever Buy a New Computer

2012-01-20T14:56:00.001-05:00

     Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit. But please, do yourself a favor. Don't listen to that guy in the computer store who tells you, "Oh, don't worry, the new one will work just the same as the one you had."

     I collected a virus on my computer the other day, and when I couldn't get rid of it myself, I called my local computer store. I know the people there. I visit them once or twice a year, and I bought a new laptop just last month. (But the truth is, I prefer my desktop.) The guy who owns it is friendly and helpful. He doesn't focus exclusively on the 20-something crowd, and he's happy to spend a little extra time with a customer to explain how things work. And, perhaps most important, he doesn't look down his nose at people like me, who have a little gray hair on their heads (okay, a lot of gray hair) and are not MIT graduates (okay, who had trouble in high school algebra).

     So I tell the computer guy on the phone what's gone wrong, and he instantly knows what it is. But it's not something he can help me with over the phone. I have to bring it in.

     I unplug my computer and, on my way out the door, grab the old receipt from when I bought it. I notice the computer is four years old. Driving over to the store, I wonder, maybe I'd be better off getting a new machine, rather than spending money to fix this old one.

     So I make this suggestion when I get to the store. It will cost between $125 and $150 to fix this four-year-old white elephant, my computer guru tells me. Or I could get a new one -- faster, better, with more more memory, more options, more capabilities -- for just over $600.

     "Okay," I said. "But I don't need anything fancy. I mostly surf the net and use word processing. I don't need anything that will, you know, make the gunfire on my video game look more spectacular, with more realistic blood spurting out from the aliens I slaughter."

     He laughed. "I get it," he said, "something simple."

     "And, honestly, I don't want to have to learn a whole new system, either. I just want to be able to use it."

     "Don't worry. The new one will work just the same as your old one. You won't even know the difference."

     I go home happy, looking forward to an upgraded machine. I go back to the store the next day. "So, is there anything I have to know?" I ask.

     "Nope," he said. "This will work the same as your old computer."

   "What about hooking up the printer?" I ask.

     "It will do it automatically," he replied. "Just go to your 'Start' button and follow the instructions."

     I take home the computer and go to plug it in. The first thing I notice is that there are fewer ports on the back of the computer. There's one cable back there that I can't plug in, because there's no spot for it. But I try out the computer, and it seems to work. Still, I wonder, what's that orphan cable all about?

     I go to the "Start" button to hook up my printer. I can't find the instructions the computer guy told me would be there.

     So I call him up. First, he tells me not to worry about the missing port. That one is for sound -- and I've got the right ones. I guess he's right. The sound coming out of this new computer seems okay. But I'm still slightly unsettled about that cable hanging out there behind my computer desk.

     He then leads me to the right place to hook up the printer -- I'm glad I called because I never would have found it myself.

     We hang up, and I go back to start work. As I said, I mostly do word processing, so I call up one of my files -- and I don't have Microsoft Word, like I did on my old computer. I have something called "Libre." It looks completely different from what I'm used to, and also from what I have on my laptop.

   So I'm back on the phone. "What's this word processing?" I ask. "I use Microsoft Word."

     "Oh, you don't get Microsoft Word. You have to pay extra for the Microsoft Office Suite. This is what we give you instead."

   "How much extra for Word?"

     "It's about $130. But really, Libre works just the same. You won't even know the difference."

   He then leads me through a swift introductory course in Libre -- which, of course, is entirely different from Word. It looks different. The functions are located in different places, It even saves files with a different label. He shows me how I can "trick" Libre into saving something as a Word file. But later, when I try to do it on my own, I can't make it work. I cannot save it as a doc file, or docx file, but only as something that looks like it's part of the Russian alphabet.

     "Arghhhh!"

     Then last night I went to the movies. When I got home I went to check my email. My computer was off. That's funny. I didn't turn it off. Had we lost power for a while?

     I turned it on and checked my email. This morning the computer was off again, and later it shut itself off when I took a break to have breakfast.

     Apparently, this computer -- this computer that will work just the same way as my old computer (despite having a completely different word processing program) -- has an automatic shutoff function. So if you leave the computer to take a bathroom break or get a drink, you have to be quick about it. No more malingering in the kitchen.

     Right now I hate my new computer, and I hate my computer guy. I just hope I get used to it. I'm trying to look on the bright side. Who knows? Maybe the automatic shutoff will mean I'll take fewer, shorter breaks -- and I'll end up improving my productivity!

Hot Topics at the Lunch Table

2012-01-15T15:16:00.000-05:00

     I'm one of those older guys -- not really old, but plenty of gray hair -- you see having lunch by himself during the week at the food court at the mall, reading his kindle. Or having a weekday lunch with a couple of other "beached males" at Chilis. Did you ever wonder what three retired guys in their late 50s or early 60s were talking about over at the next table? Don't get your hopes up. Not sex. Not wives. Not children. We don't brag about our children in my group, even though (I like to think) most us probably could.

     One guy has a microbrew beer from the tap. One has a glass of house white wine. One drinks a Diet Coke with a straw. Three guys, about 200 pounds each, taking up a whole table and then some at Chilis. At one point we looked at each other, and wondered if we were a parody of ourselves. But then we thought, what's so wrong about three guys having lunch? So here are the hot topics at our Chilis Roundtable.

     1) One of us, I'll call him Peter, has just come from physical therapy. He's had a pinched nerve, or bulging disk, in his neck, with pain in the shoulder and tingling and numbness down his right arm to his hand. He's asking me about my experience with the same problem -- from which I suffered for five or six years, until I left work, when it miraculously cleared up. Peter complains that the pain is worse when he's sitting at the computer. But what's he gonna do? He has to spend a lot of time at the computer.

     The third guy, who I'll call Joe, chimes in that he has a similar problem -- he really can't lift his right arm above his shoulder, and when he tries to pick up anything heavy with his right hand, he gets a shooting pain in his elbow. He illustrates how he can't pick up a full mug of beer with his right hand, taking a big gulp using his left.

   "John McCain has that same problem," I deadpan, looking at Joe. "Were you a prisoner of war during Vietnam?"

   Joe laughs. I don't know what he was doing during the Vietnam war. Probably still in school. He's a little younger than me, and likely didn't graduate from college until after the draft was abolished in 1973. But anyway, I know he was never anywhere near the army.

     Yes, our number one topic of conversation is our health -- or rather, our medical complaints. We thus prove that older men are no different from older women, who are notorious for going on and on about their medical issues. Our conversation then turns to the drugs we are taking. Joe suffers from diabetes, and, it seems, a whole list of other problems, and both Joe and Peter are on blood thinners for their hearts. Joe reminds us that he had his first heart attack at age 47, almost exactly one year after he quit smoking.

     2) A pause in the conversation brought a change of subject. Joe is considering buying a gas-powered generator for his house. We had that Halloween snow storm this year, which left a lot of people without power for three or four days. We usually lose power out here in the country, in the northern suburbs of New York, about two or three times a year. A few people in the neighborhood have generators just for that purpose.

     For a lot of people, including Peter, the Halloween storm was the final blow. Peter has ponied up $10K to install a whole-house propane generator that goes on and off automatically when the power is cut. This seems ridiculous to me. But Peter says, "What happens if you're away in the winter, and the electricity goes off for three or four days, and the temperatures are in the 20s? Your pipes freeze, and you could cause $100K worth of damage."

     Peter has lived in his house for about 20 years. That problem hasn't happened yet. And he doesn't even do that much traveling. But, apparently, he's a belt-and-suspenders man.

     Joe doesn't want to do anything that spectacular, and doesn't want to spend that much money. He's shopping for an 8000-watt gas-powered generator. But he wants the one with an electric starter (rather than the pull cord) so his wife or daughter would be able to turn it on if he's not around. This will set him back "only" around $3500.

     B and I have talked about the possibility of getting a generator. But I'm not much of a "technical" guy. If the power goes off, I'm happy to spend a night in the dark, and if it goes on for any longer than that, spring for an overpriced hotel room. As for B, she says, "My grandmother didn't have any electricity at all in her house. I think we can handle a couple of days, if it comes to it."

     That B. She's a tough one.

     3) The generator talk exhausted, our conversation turns to a more pleasant subject. Where are you going this winter? I'm headed to Arizona and Southern California. My two friends want to know some of the details, and Joe offers a little advice from when he was there a few years ago.

     Joe is talking about making a trip to Florida. We have a friend who bought a place near Ft. Myers last year. He's already left for three months in the sun, and he's invited us all down for a visit. Joe's wife is still working. She's got a trip planned to Florida for business. He's thinking of going down with her; then sending her home and taking an extra few days to play golf with our friend.

     Peter is thinking about a trip to the Dominican Republic. I tease him: Isn't there a lot of crime in the Dominican Republic? Don't the locals resent the tourists and pull hold-ups? But Peter doesn't take the bait. He only worries about his pipes freezing, not getting robbed on vacation. He and his wife went there a few years ago and had a great time. He wants to go back, probably sometime in March.

     So what do you think? We've caught up on one another's lives. Health. Generators. Vacation. We'll reconvene in late March or early April, to make plans for golf season.

What Can You Do About Noisy Neighbors?

2012-01-12T09:41:00.000-05:00

     My tenants are having a noise problem again. They called the other day and said they'd been woken up on Saturday night about 3 a.m. by some loud banging and thumping coming from upstairs.

     We've been through this before. The upstairs neighbors have a wooden floor. When the current tenants moved in, they had no rugs. The condo policy says at least 70% of a wooden floor has to be covered by carpeting. So eventually, after much prodding from us, the upstairs neighbors got a rug. Or so they tell us. We don't know how big the rug is, or whether it really covers 70% of the wood floor, or if there's proper padding under the rug to dampen the noise of their footsteps. We're attempting to find out through the condo association.

     The condo association has a regulation banning excessive noise, especially at night. The upstairs tenants got a letter from the condo management, asking them to please be quiet and considerate of their downstairs neighbors, especially during the hours between 11 p.m. and 8 a.m. It seems they were getting the message and being considerate for while, but slipped up the other night.

   Have any of you suffered from excessive noise from neighbors? It's a bitch, isn't it?

     B and I had a conversation about this last night. But she blames my tenants. They live in an apartment building, she says, and everybody knows you get noise in an apartment building. She recalled, during her single days, renting an apartment in an old building, and actually being amazed at how quiet it was. Then one evening she came home from work, only to hear clomp, clomp, clomp on her ceiling.

     It turned out the apartment above her had been empty. Now a big strapping single guy moved in, and treated her to plenty of noise. "I remember, every night, I could hear him take off his shoes," she told me. "I'd hear a little creak from the bed as he sat down. Then, clunk, as he took off one shoe. And another clunk, as he took off the other one."

     She continued, "But what do you do? You live in an apartment. Someone's right on top of you. You've got to expect some noise."

     I have more sympathy for my tenants. I recall in my divorced days, 2002 - '07, I moved into a townhouse. My next-door neighbor (we shared a wall) was a quiet guy who kept to himself, and I never heard a peep out of him. Then he sold his place. A fellow in town bought it, and moved his sister-in-law in, with her two children and two dogs.

     The kids were fine. But the dogs were a horror. I don't know what kind they were; but they were tall and sleek, weighing probably around 80 pounds. They had short hair and big mouths. And they used them. Every time a neighbor walked past her townhouse, the two dogs would jump at her windows and bark aggressively, lunging at the glass. Then she would tie them up outside (against the development's policy), and when people went by they charged toward them until they were stopped by the end of their chains, and again, lunge and bark aggressively until the person got at least 100 feet away.

     I complained a dozen times to the woman; and another several times to the management. Fortunately, some other residents also complained (lending credence to my story, so I didn't come across as just a complaining neighbor). After about six months, the woman finally moved out. I don't know what went on behind the scenes, or who talked to her, or her brother-in-law, the owner. But she was gone. The place eventually went back on the market; a normal person bought it and moved in.

     Currently, at our house, we have a next-door neighbor with a dog. The neighbors have a fenced-in backyard and they occasionally let their dog out. And he barks. But it doesn't bother us. He's not outside very much, and he only barks when he sees another dog, which isn't that often. And also, their dog is not ten feet away from us; he's 100 feet away, and we barely hear him when we're inside our house, especially in the winter with the windows closed. Plus ... our dog is in love with the next-door neighbor's dog. It's cute!

     So, I don't know what's going to happen with my tenant. Noise levels are pretty subjective things. What bothers one person may not bother another. And how many rules can you put in to ensure peace and quiet? If people are noisy and inconsiderate, is anything going to make them easy to live with?

     People complain about the noise level of the political scene. But you can turn off your TV; you can avoid the nasty, opinionated websites. You can't get away from your noisy neighbor.

The Problem with Our Economy

2012-01-09T08:56:00.000-05:00

     I sometimes think that the modern notion of "economic growth" is fiction. The experts tell us our economy is much bigger now than it was when we were kids. Economists obsess about GDP, and whether it's gone up 2 percent or 3 percent, and measure how per capita income is higher (although not that much higher) than it was a decade ago, or two decades ago.

     But it seems to me that economic growth is based largely on accounting for things that in the old days we just didn't account for. A mother used to stay home and take care of her own kids. She wasn't getting paid; the activity wasn't counted in the economy. Now she works outside the home and gets a paycheck, and then turns around and pays someone else to look after her kids.

     We used to take in Grandma when she got old. Now we pay an Independent Living facility to take care of her. We used to fix our own cars; now someone else does it. We used to do our own taxes; now we pay an accountant. We used to save for our own retirement; now there's such a dizzying array of options that we need the experts to do it for us. A lot of so-called economic activity. But are we any better off? Maybe a little ... but not as much as we think.

     Nobody produces anything anymore. We all just pay one another to do things that we won't or can't do for ourselves. People in Asia make our cars, our computers and our Christmas ornaments. We drive people around, give people advice, process information, offer people therapy, or help them with their finances.

     This is what I thought. Then I read Boomerang by Michael Lewis, the respected author of Liar's Poker, Moneyball and The Big Short. And I discovered the problem is worse than I thought. It's true, nobody produces anything anymore. But otherwise, we all just work the system.

   Lewis is very smart, very funny and very cynical. He reviews the recent debt cycle and shows how different countries, from Iceland to Greece, fell victim in their own different ways. But the universal problem, he concludes, is that the people who had power in society, who were supposed to run things for the common good, were instead bleeding the society to death. "It's a problem of people taking what they can, just because they can, without regard to the larger social consequences," he writes.

     But he really hits a nerve when he turns his laser eye back to the U. S., and California.

     "It's not just a coincidence that the debts of cities and states spun out of control at the same time as the debts of individual Americans," he says. "Alone in a dark room with a pile of money, Americans knew exactly what they wanted to do, from the top of society to the bottom. They grabbed as much as they could. Afterward, the people on Wall Street would bemoan the low morals of the people who walked away from their subprime loans, and the American people would express outrage at the Wall Street people who paid themselves a fortune to design the bad loans."

   And I think that's a key point. He says it's not just the greedy bankers (who the liberals blame), and it's not just the greedy public employees (who the conservatives blame.) It was, and perhaps still is, everybody.

     Lewis focuses on Arnold Schwarzenegger who in his opinion tried mightily to put California on a sane financial path -- and failed miserably. "He tried everything he could to persuade California state legislators to vote against the short-term desires of their constituents for the greater long-term good of all," Lewis argues. Legislators acknowledged that the state had big problems and that the governor proposed some reasonable ideas to solve them, but they wouldn't vote for any of them because in every case a powerful interest group would get mad at them and threaten their chances for re-election.

     California has highly partisan legislative districts and voters elect highly partisan people to office. The legislators, beholden to their special interests, cannot compromise or agree on anything. So nothing gets done. The voters become disgusted. And yet, the system ended up working very well in giving Californians exactly what they wanted -- a lot of services for many different constituents and better salaries for public employees -- all without anyone having to pay for it because the government just took on more debt.

     In San Jose the problem finally bubbled over after public safety workers used union power, binding arbitration and sympathetic judges to make deals that included pay raises over 20 percent, extra pay for "terrorist training" and generous retirement programs. "Our police and firefighters will earn more in retirement than they did when they were working," said San Jose's Democratic mayor, who asked, "When did we go from giving people sick leave to letting them accumulate it and cash it in for hundreds of thousands of dollars when they are done working?"

     The result: In order to pay the pension costs, San Jose had to cut a quarter of its workforce, from 7,400 workers to 5,400 workers. The libraries were closed three days a week, and parks got no maintenance.

     How will it all end? In Vallejo, CA, when public workers took 80 percent of the city's budget for their pay packages, it finally ended in bankruptcy. Real-estate values plummeted 60 percent. Creditors settled on 5 cents to the dollar, and public employees were paid off at around 25 cents on the dollar. The fire department was cut from 121 to 67 employees, who were left to handle 13,000 calls a year.

     Lewis is by no means one of these small-government Republicans. He is just as hard, if not harder, on the wild eyed bankers in Iceland and Ireland, and he took on Wall Street in The Big Short. He in fact has sympathy for public workers who now have to do more with less, precisely because of the government's financial problems. The irony is that those who pushed for better pay for public employees -- beyond what the tax base could support -- were the very ones who in the end caused the layoffs and cuts in services.

     What happens when a society loses its ability to regulate itself, Lewis asks, when everyone is sacrificing their long-term interests for a short-term reward? One possible outcome is that the environment will regulate us -- and the environment regulates by starvation, like farmers who fail to fertilize and rotate crops and thus leach out their land. Or ... like what happened to the people in Vallejo, CA.

     The other way is to realize what we have been doing to ourselves in this country, then come together and regulate our own activities -- when leaders will run things for the common good, instead of lining their own pockets at the public trough, and when regular people take more pride in their contributions to the community than they do in accumulating paid sick days for early retirement.

Family Fights

2012-01-06T20:57:00.000-05:00

    B came home this evening and reported that she'd had lunch with a friend of hers today. I know her friend, and her family, a little bit anyway. And so I asked: Any news?

     B told me that her friend's sister-in-law is getting divorced. It's strange, reflected B, because this woman had lived with the man for about ten years before they got married. Then they had a baby. Now the kid is eight years old, and they're getting a divorce.

     Hmmm, yeah, that's kind of strange, I agreed. Seems like they could have figured out after ten years whether they were compatible or not. But, you know, a kid changes things.

     B shook her head. Well, I've met this woman, she said. And I can see how it might be kind of difficult to live with her.

     I laughed. Yep, that's strange.

     But that's not the really strange thing I wanted to tell you about, said B. What happened was, my friend told me that she's friends with this other couple. And they have another couple they're friends with, and the two couples and their families went on vacation together over Christmas. I guess their families had been on vacation together before, several times, but this time the two sons got into a fight. The boys are around 22 or 23 years old. They've been friends their entire lives. And they got into a fight. Over a girl.

     Apparently, the kids had been drinking, and they got into an argument and ended up outside in the hotel parking lot in a fist fight. One of the boys was knocked unconscious. When he came to, he got up and went after his friend with a bottle. He hit him, he broke the bottle, cut his friend and drew blood. Both the boys ended up in the hospital.

     B and I both shook our heads. How do two kids who've been friends for their whole lives end up getting into a real fist fight? Not just a shoving match, or yelling at each other. But punching each other until they were bleeding and knocked out and taken to the hospital?

     I remember the last fight I had. I was in sixth grade. I lost. I'll tell you about it sometime. But the point is, I was 12 years old, not in my 20s.

     I do recall, once, two of my uncles getting into a fight. When they were in their 40s. We were at a family gathering -- it must have been Thanksgiving, when my grandmother was still alive and the whole group got together at my aunt's house and played touch football and hiked in the woods behind my aunt's house and spent the rest of the afternoon eating and -- yeah, the adults did a little drinking, too.

     My dad's family was a large immigrant family with lots of kids -- my dad had three brothers and two sisters. They were a competitive bunch, especially the males, and even I knew as a child that they had lots of built-up resentments, because the two older brothers were more successful than the two younger brothers, and they were richer, and they felt that they were better than their two younger brothers and made no secret about it.

     And I remember one day I was sitting outside on my aunt's front porch, and my dad's older brother was arguing with one of the younger brothers -- I think it was something about their kids. And get this -- the younger brother had had polio as a kid, and now walked with a cane, but suddenly he lunged at his older brother, pushed him back and shoved him up against a stone wall, yelling at him all the time, until my grandmother stomped out of the house and called to them to stop, right this minute -- and my dad, who was the skinniest and nerdiest of the bunch, finally ran up and stepped between them.

     But that was, literally, 50 years ago. And a rough-hewn immigrant family. By now, I thought, fighting was a lost art -- that we've all become too civilized to actually get into a fist fight anymore. Instead, we argue, harbor resentments, talk behind people's backs, pass on malicious gossip, withhold affection or give our enemies the silent treatment.

     I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I'm just wondering: Have you gotten into any fights lately? What is really worth coming to blows about? Fighting over a girl? Over money? Over long-held resentments? It all seems like something out of an old black-and-white movie, not something that happened last week over Christmas vacation, among modern, civilized, suburban middle-class families.

Answers to: Are These Baby Boomer Icons Dead or Alive?

2012-01-03T16:55:00.006-05:00

A few have passed on, but many are still with us, living out their lives in peace and obscurity. How many did you get right?

1) George McGovern remained in the U. S. Senate after his 1972 defeat. He was reelected in 1974, but lost in 1980. He entered the Democratic presidential primaries in 1984 but dropped out after trailing Gary Hart and Walter Mondale. McGovern went on the lecture circuit and focused on fighting world hunger. His daughter Teresa, an alcoholic, fell into a snowbank in Madison, WI, in 1992 and died of hypothermia. His wife, Eleanor, died in 2007. But George McGovern is still alive at age 89, living in Mitchel, SD, and St. Augustine, Fl, where he continues to write and lecture.

     2) Geraldine Ferraro twice ran for the U. S. Senate from New York, after her losing bid for the vice presidency. She faltered both times, in part because of her husband, who pleaded guilty to fraud and was later accused (but acquitted) of bribing a Queens politician. Ferraro remained active in Democratic politics and supported women's causes, and in the 1990s President Clinton named her U. S. Ambassador to the U. N. Commission on Human Rights. In 1998 she was diagnosed with bone cancer, and she died in March 2011 at age 75. She is survived by her husband, a son and two daughters.

     3) Pat Boone, a devout Christian, remained active in country and Gospel music from the 1950s through the 1990s. He and his wife Shirley had four daughters, one of whom, Debby, had her own career highlighted by the 1977 megahit "You Light Up My Life." Pat Boone has been active in Republican politics; he has hosted a long-running charity golf tournament in Chattanooga, TN, and also, as a well-known basketball fan, has been part owner of two basketball teams. At age 77, Boone currently lives with long-time wife Shirley in Los Angeles.

   4) Fess Parker leaped to fame playing Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier, a Disney miniseries in 1954 and 1955, and went on to portray Daniel Boone on TV from 1964 to 1970. In the 1980s Parker became a real-estate developer, building a resort hotel in Santa Barbara, CA, and later a winery and vineyard in the Santa Ynez Valley north of Santa Barbara. He died at age 85, in 2010, and is survived by his wife and two children.

     5) Michael Crichton was already wildly popular by the time Jurassic Park came out in 1990. He'd written his first medical thriller, The Andromeda Strain, while still a student at Harvard Medical School in the 1960s. He went on to write a dozen bestselling books, several movie scripts, and the NBC TV medical drama "ER". His controversial 2004 book State of Fear questioned the politically correct concern about global warming. Crichton was diagnosed with throat cancer early in 2008 and he died on Nov. 4, 2008 at age 66.

     6) Sophia Loren, who won the 1962 Academy Award for Best Actress for her role in Two Women, was one of the most popular movie actresses of the 1950s and 1960s. She scaled back her acting after she became a mother, and instead branched out to cookbooks, eyewear, jewellry and perfume. Her longtime husband, Carlo Ponti, died in 2007, but Ms. Loren is still very much alive, with two sons and three grandchildren. She lives in Switzerland, with other homes in Naples and Rome.

     7) Sidney Poitier, the first black actor to win an Academy Award for Best Actor for his role in Lilies of the Field, went on to star in To Sir, With Love, In the Heat of the Night and Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. He later directed several movies, including the popular comedy Stir Crazy with Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder. Poitier, whose parents were from the Bahamas, was appointed Knight Commander of the British Empire in 1974, and later served as "nonresident" Bahamian ambassador to Japan. In 2009 Sir Sidney was also awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Barack Obama. A prostate cancer survivor, Poitier, now 84, lives in California.

     8) Chubby Checker, famous for his 1960 song "The Twist," went on to record "Twistin' USA" and "Let's Twist Again" and "Slow Twisting" and "Twist It Up." But he did not do "The Peppermint Twist" -- that was Joey Dee and the Starliters. In 2008 "The Twist" was named the biggest single chart hit of all time by Billboard magazine. At age 70, Chubby Checker is still on tour, appearing in Oregon and Washington in January, heading to The Villages in Florida in February.

     9) Willie Mays retired from baseball in 1973, and was elected into the baseball Hall of Fame in 1979. In retirement Mays became an accomplished amateur golfer (with a 4 handicap), worked for an Atlantic City casino, and went on to serve as Special Assistant to the President of the San Francisco Giants. He currently lives in California and also serves on the Advisory Board of Baseball Assistance Team, a nonprofit organization that helps former baseball players with financial and health problems.

    10) Peter Benchley, grandson of the famous humorist and Algonquin Round Table cofounder Robert Benchley, worked at the Washington Post and Newsweek before writing the bestseller Jaws, and then co-writing the screenplay for the movie, the top-grossing film of 1975. Benchley went on to pen The Deep, The Island and The Beast, but nothing could plumb the mysteries of the depths like his seminal shark tale. He was an active environmentalist and supported Wildaid, an organization protecting sharks. Benchley died in 2006 at age 66 of pulmonary fibrosis, a scarring of the lung tissue, survived by a wife and three children.

11) Elizabeth Taylor was a dual citizen of the United Kingdom and the United States -- born of American parents, in 1932 in a London suburb. The screen legend won two Best Actress Academy Awards, for Butterfield 8 in 1960 and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? in 1966, and survived eight marriages (counting Richard Burton twice). She converted to Judaism and in her later years became an advocate for AIDS victims. Taylor had a history of weight gain and various health problems. In 2004 she was diagnosed with congestive heart disease. She had heart surgery in 2009, and died of heart failure in March 2011.

    12) Patty Hearst, the newspaper heiress, dominated the headlines in 1974 after she was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army. She later helped rob a San Francisco bank and, when arrested, she listed her occupation as "Urban Guerrilla." In 1976 she was convicted of bank robbery and sentenced to 35 years in prison, later reduced to 7 years. She was released after serving 22 months, when her sentence was commuted by President Carter. Hearst married her former bodyguard, wrote her autobiography and produced a documentary. She currently lives in New York, where her husband is head of security for the Hearst Corp., and her daughter Lydia Hearst, 27, is a model and actress.

    13) Roger Staubach, star quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys from 1969 to 1979, turned his fame into fortune when he started a commercial real-estate business in Texas. In 2008 the Staubach Company was sold to Jones Lang LaSalle, a Chicago real-estate firm, for over $600 million. Along the way, Staubach did color commentating for CBS sports, invested in auto racing and dabbled in politics. He currently serves as executive chairman of Jones Lang LaSalle’s Americas division.

    14) Rodney Dangerfield, born Jacob Cohen in 1921, gained some respect for his 1980s movie roles, most memorably in Caddyshack, but continued his career with his moneymaking line: "I don't get no respect. No respect, no respect at all." In 2001 Dangerfield suffered a mild heart attack while backstage at "The Tonight Show." In August 2004 he went into a coma after surgery, and he died in October 2004 at the age of 82.

15) Gladys Knight was the front person for Gladys Knight & the Pips from 1959 to 1978, when they began to record separately, and again from 1980 to 1988, after they reunited. Knight became a Mormon, and now leads an American Gospel choir. At age 67, Gladys Knight has had four husbands, and she has three children, one of whom, son Shanga, owns a chain of restaurants in the Atlanta area, Gladys Knight and Ron Winans Chicken & Waffles.

Blogging Boomers Carnival -- 2012!

2012-01-01T09:52:00.003-05:00

     The first of the year Blogging Boomers Carnival brings us wishes for many happy returns from all corners of the globe and the blogosphere.

     Lucie from Midlife Musings recognizes that New Year's Eve means many things to many people -- but it's how you celebrate that makes it special. She describes the intriguing way she, herself, celebrates the end of one year and the beginning of the next.

     The Midlife Crisis Queen wonders if anyone else feels a bit of a slump once the party is over, and offers her own take on the issue in her last post of the year, "Are You Suffering from Post Holiday Let Down?"

   Ann at Contemporary Retirement offers to help out if you still haven't made your New Year's resolution. She has a thought-provoking one you can borrow from the late Duane Allman, at her post "New Year's Resolutions."

     Meanwhile, wishes for a better 2012 come from faraway Dubai. Katie Foster in the Arabian Tales and Other Adventures shines a light on Quincy Jones and his new charity single "Tomorrow/Bokra." an Arabic re-adaptation of his Grammy award winning song "Tomorrow (A Better You, A Better Me)." The song features 24 Arab artists from 16 nations harmonizing for a better tomorrow. Funds raised from the sale of "Tomorrow /Bokra" will finance arts and culture scholarships as well as projects for children throughout the Middle East and North Africa through the Quincy Jones Foundation.

In the spirit of year-end round-ups, the Accidental Locavore offers up her top 10 list for 2011. The first half the list highlights her most popular blog posts of the year, while the second half features the Accidental Locavore's personal favorites.

John Agno at So Baby Boomer takes on a slightly different train of thought when he points out that we don't know what we don't know -- and that can cause us and our social network friends trouble. So, he asks, what can people over age 50 do well on social networks?

And the Vaboomer asks: Remember the Nancy Drew mysteries? Now, we Baby Boomers have our own sleuth. Her name is Sandra Troux. Read more about her and how three retired Boomers cross the world to run down art thieves and sex traffickers.

As for my own blog, I'm featuring my annual year-end quiz -- this is a tradition that goes back a 50th of a century! Last year I did "The Baby Boomer Quiz." This year it's "Are These Baby Boomer Icons Dead or Alive?" See my last post for the questions, and my next post for the sometimes-surprising answers.

And so, from blogging Boomers everywhere: Thanks for a Bloggerific 2011. And here's to a Happy 2012!

Quiz: Are These Baby Boomer Icons Dead or Alive?

2011-12-30T15:12:00.000-05:00

     Time seems to go by so quickly, and sometimes we get so involved in our own lives, we lose track of what's going on elsewhere in the world -- who is still with us and who has passed on.

     Do you think it's morbid to guess whether these people are alive or dead? All these Baby Boomer icons have seen their time come and go, whether they're still alive or not, but I think they would be thankful if we pause at the end of 2011 and remember their contributions to our life and our culture -- what they did, what they meant to us, and where they may be today.

     So in that spirit, can you guess: Who among these Baby Boomer icons is alive? And who is dead?

   1) 1972 presidential candidate George McGovern            Alive or Dead

   2) 1984 vice presidential candidate Geraldine Ferraro    Alive       Dead

     3) 1950s crooner Pat Boone                                             Alive Dead

   4) Actor Fess Parker                                                       Alive     Dead

   5) Jurassic Park writer Michael Crichton                         Alive       Dead

     6) Italian actress Sophia Loren               Alive Dead

     7) Actor Sidney Poitier                          Alive Dead

     8) Twister Chubby Checker                    Alive   Dead

     9) Willie Mays                        Alive   Dead

    10) Jaws writer Peter Benchley               Alive   Dead

11) Elizabeth Taylor                                Alive   Dead

    12) Heiress kidnapping victim Patty Hearst                         Alive     Dead

    13) Quarterback Roger Staubach                                     Alive     Dead

    14) Comedian Rodney Dangerfield         Alive     Dead

    15) Singer Gladys Knight                                   Alive     Dead

   For the answers, check back here next week -- same time, same place. Meantime, Happy New Year to everybody, and may we all thrive in 2012!

Plus Ca Change ...

2011-12-26T13:10:00.001-05:00

Reading about the dismal economy, the political weakness of the president, and the ridiculous antics of the Republican presidential contenders, I can’t help but think that I've seen it all before. In 1979, to be exact.

Not to make any political predictions -- it’s just that when you’ve reached a certain age, it seems as though you’ve seen it all before. Just consider:

In 1979, the approval rating for President Jimmy Carter limped along at 45% -- the lowest rating in a president’s first term since President Harry Truman in the late 1940s.

In 2011, President Barack Obama’s approval rating, according to the latest Gallup poll, sits at 44% -- even weaker than Carter’s and, yes, the lowest rating for a president’s first term since Harry Truman in the late 1940s. (To be completely accurate, lower results were polled by Presidents Nixon and Bush, but only during their second terms.)

In 1979, the Dow Jones Industrial Average was mired in the late ‘70s economic doldrums. After ten years of subpar performance, the stock market could still only manage a paltry 4% increase for the year.

In 2011, the Dow is mired in continuing economic doldrums. Even after a decade of underperformance, the Dow today is higher by just 4% for the year.

Because of economic uncertainty in 1979, the price of gold shot up from $220 per ounce to $500 an ounce, the equivalent of about $1,300 today. (It was on its way to an early 1980 peak of just over $800 an ounce, the equivalent of about $2,100 in today’s dollars.)

Because of economic uncertainty in 2011, gold increased from about $1,300 an ounce at the beginning of the year to $1,740 on December 1. The price has since sagged to $1600, but is still up over 20% for the year.

In 1979, the price of oil reached a then-record price of $25 per barrel – today’s equivalent of about $70.

In 2011, the price of oil bubbled back above $100 a barrel, for the first time since 2008.

In 1979, the Three Mile Island nuclear accident occurred in Pennsylvania. In 2011 nuclear disaster was revisited in Fukushima, Japan.

In 1979 Margaret Thatcher was elected the first female prime minister of the U.K. Now in 2011 Angela Merkel, the first female German chancellor, rules supreme in Europe. And at the end of 2011 Meryl Streep stars in The Iron Lady, a bio pic about none other than ... Margaret Thatcher.

In 1979 the Ayatollah Khomeini returned to Iran, seized power from the autocratic Shah and declared an Islamic republic. Americans were taken hostage at the embassy in Tehran.

In 2011 revolutions in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya and elsewhere throw out long-standing Muslim autocrats. The latest election in Egypt pushes Islamists to the forefront of political power. Americans are leaving Iraq after ten years of "peacekeeping."

In 1979 a gaggle of seemingly ridiculous Republican challengers were vying to unseat an unpopular Democratic president – including ultraconservative former governor Ronald Reagan, former CIA director George Bush, Sen. Howard Baker, Sen. Robert Dole, Reps. John Anderson and Phil Crane, and former Texas Governor John Connelly.

Remember how the Republican candidates competed with one another in a series of state caucuses that came to be known derisively as "cattle calls?" After George Bush won in Iowa he pronounced that he had the "Big Mo," until Reagan sponsored a debate in New Hampshire when he somehow stole headlines after the director tried to mute the frontrunner's microphone and Reagan snapped back, "I am paying for this microphone, Mr. Green."

Now, in 2011, a gaggle of seemingly ridiculous Republican challengers are vying to unseat an unpopular Democratic president – including former governors Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman, Texas Governor Rick Perry, and Reps. Newt Gingrich, Michelle Bachmann and Ron Paul.

We don't yet have our age-defining sound bite. But no doubt it will come. And I wonder who among the Republican contenders will be left standing after Iowa? The pundits say three: Romney and two others. Any idea who they might be?

Just a few notable differences: At the end of 1979 the inflation rate in the U. S. had ballooned to 13%, and interest rates floated along at 15%. Today the inflation rate is just 3%. Interest rates are closer to 2%.

And in 1979 the unemployment rate was considered high at 6%. Today, people are actually cheering that the unemployment rate has dipped below 9%.

Still, if I was French, I’d be saying, "Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose."

Meanwhile, a propos of nothing, here's the Smashing Pumpkins hit song 1979, released in 1996, that starts out, "Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time ..."

A Mea Culpa for Christmas

2011-12-22T09:49:00.000-05:00

     B's family is arriving tomorrow, two days earlier than originally planned. They will leave on Monday, the 26th -- as opposed to what I'd feared, which was that her family would arrive on Christmas night when my own two kids are coming for a visit, and the whole crowd would overlap for three frazzled, frustrating days.

     B and I do not have a blended family. We have two separate families. We each had two kids from a previous marriage when we got together in our 50s. Our kids were mostly grown up by that time, and we have never all lived together as a family. So, while the two sets of kids are cordial to one another, they have never really bonded. They have different interests and different friends.

     Meanwhile, B has a whole pack of siblings. My kids have met a few of her relatives, but not all of them by far.

     So now, anyway, the whole big crowd will overlap for only one night. B's family, now that they'll be here earlier, will actually have beds to sleep in. And when my kids arrive, at least after the first night, they will not be forced to share the beds, the kitchen, the couches and the TV with B's herd of relatives.

     B talked to her sister a couple of days ago. They rearranged the visit -- and I know B did this primarily for my benefit, and so first of all, a big apology for ever thinking she had a selfish bone in her body. And a big thank you for empathizing with my familial concerns. And I'm left to ponder: Who's now proved to be the selfish one?

     Part of the reason B rescheduled her sister's visit was because B has to work the week after Christmas, or most of the time her sister and mother were originally going to be here. And part of the reason is ... well, I think she took pity on me.

     I woke up Tuesday morning, and my back felt a little out of sorts. In the afternoon I had to run some errands. So around 2 p.m. I went into the garage, opened my car door, slipped into the driver's seat -- and something snapped in my lower back.

     My pain level jumped from an uncomfortable 2 or 3, to a debilitating 7 or 8. I limped upstairs, grabbed a couple of aspirin, then went back out to the car and drove off to do the errands that had to be done. Three hours later -- about 1 1/2 hours sitting behind the wheel -- I pulled back into our garage, crawled out of the car and made my way into the house. I spent the entire evening popping aspirin, sitting in my chair that has an electric massage attached to it, and moaning and groaning in front of the TV.

     I was trepidacious about going to bed. But I found that the back was okay as long as I lay on my side. I nodded off, but woke up around 4 a.m. and could not get back to sleep. I went downstairs, heated up some milk, read my book for a while. I returned to bed around 6 a.m. and managed another hour or two of sleep.

   At breakfast B asked me what had gotten me up in the night -- my back?

     "Yeah," I lied. But the truth is, I was really lying awake worrying about the awkward family gathering I was facing in a few days time.

     I switched my painkiller from aspirin to Advil. Seems to work better for the back. I spent the morning doing some light stretching, sitting in my massage chair and walking slowly around the house. My back hurt if I sat for too long; but it got tired if I walked around for too long. So I alternated between the two.

     Before she left for work on Wednesday, B showed me some back exercises -- which I did several times throughout the day. Also, I took a long hot shower, and went to the mall for a back massage from the Korean lady who has a chair outside the food court. By the time B got home for dinner, I was feeling better. But B already felt sorry for me. She had called her sister and rescheduled her family visit.

     In the meantime, I appreciate the advice I got as comments to my last post -- especially the ones reminding me that it's a lot better to experience a few family difficulties than it is to spend Christmas alone.

     I feel a little guilty that I complained and sulked until B decided she had to change her plans. (But, believe me, I wasn't faking about the back.) I think she'll be able to enjoy the visit with her family more this way, though, since she won't be working while they're here. I also feel bad because her family will have to leave really early on the day after Christmas -- her brother has to work later in the day. But all in all, I believe things will work out better this way. At least, I hope so.

   Meanwhile, I think I hear Santa loading up his sleigh. I wonder if it's too late to add one more thing to my Christmas list.

     Santa, can I have a healthy, pain-free back for 2012?

     The pain had ebbed a bit when I got out of bed this morning. Maybe it will be all better by Christmas day. In the meantime, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Christmas Conflict

2011-12-20T12:59:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if this problem is a function of our stage in life -- with the kids now living on their own and wanting to come home for Christmas. Or if it's a function of a second family -- her family and my family coming for Christmas, and not having enough room for everybody. And so ... what do we do?!?

The irony is, of course, that as of yesterday -- just yesterday -- B and I are living alone, just the two of us. Her older son has finally moved out, after 2 1/2 sometimes-stressful post-college years.

Christmas will be stressful, but I hope not explosive.

     But as of right now, we have 9 people scheduled to be sleeping at our house for the three days after Christmas. And we only have 5 beds -- accommodating 6 people, assuming B and I are still sleeping together after this is all over.

     My daughter, who's in graduate school, is scheduled to arrive at our house on Christmas night. She said she's staying for three or four days. She'd arranged this a while ago. My son, who lives in New York City, said he'd like to come out to visit while his sister is here.

     B's older son now has his own apartment. But her younger son is coming home from college, and he'll be here for two weeks. And then B invited her sister to come for Christmas. B and her sister and their mother have always gotten together for a few days sometime around Christmas. This year B wanted her sister to make the trip to visit us, since B has to work the week between Christmas and New Year's.

     B's sister just emailed us this morning to say, great, she'll be arriving on Christmas night, and they'll stay for three days. And the good news is that, this time, her husband will come with her (he usually doesn't). And also their brother decided to come as well. And then -- icing on the cake -- their other brother in Boston decided he and his wife should come down to join the party, although they'll only stay one day and they'll spend the night in a hotel.

    I had suggested to B that maybe she should call her sister, and tell her the situation -- that if they come for the three days after Christmas, the house will be very crowded and someone will have to sleep on the floor. (No, B's sister and her husband do not stay at a hotel ... don't ask.) Maybe, instead, they could come for a couple of days before Christmas, or sometime the next weekend, for New Year's, after my kids had left.

     For some reason, B does not want to do that. But even assuming we figure out the sleeping arrangements, I'm not happy that my kids are going to be here, trying to visit with me, when the house is overrun with B's family. Won't that be awkward? Won't that make my kids feel as like it's not their home at all -- but this other family's home where their dad just happens to share a room?

     To be fair, B's family is very nice. I've met them all, and they are friendly and accommodating (which is why I thought they'd accommodate a slight change in their plans). But I'm afraid they'll just engulf the house, overrun the place, and make it their family Christmas, and my own kids and I will be pushed aside -- footnotes to the festivities. And I don't want my kids to be footnotes to the family. They are just as important as her kids, even if they don't spend nearly as much time here.

     I dunno, I keep telling myself to be fair; to be considerate of B, to welcome her family and we can all have fun together. But, honestly, I'm a little pissed off that she won't even try to reschedule things. She cannot bear the thought of asking her sister to change any plans, of inconveniencing her family. My family just has to fit in around her schedule.

     But I'm still trying to look at the bright side. Maybe we can all play table tennis. We have a Ping Pong table in the basement, and all the guys play. (Why is it girls don't like table tennis -- or is it just in my family?) The two best players in the crowd are my son, and B's brother in law. They've never met, and I wouldn't mind seeing them go head-to-head. See who would win.