RandomThoughts

2012 new year resolution

2011-12-31T06:37:00.001-08:00

new year,new resolution...people say i should make some wish in new year,or bad things will stay with me on 2011 year,and i have to make the wish before the clock ticks 0000H ...im not the superstitious type..but wont do any harm to try right? =)

ok here goes....

1)be a better person:

huge and generally cover all the aspect...

2)love:

love her more...hmm not that i dont love her in 2011..but hey...who dont wan to be love more and more

3)love:

ofcoz to be love more and more also,by her...my family and everyone else..*not too greedy right? hehe

4)studies:

improve my grade..or to be specific...to word harder,study hard..=)

5) less on FB:

imma fb addicts, in conjunction with 4th resolution, spend less time with fb would be a good idea

6)self:

get control of myself, discipline and emotional....yeah

7)responsibility and duty as son,fiancee,brother,grandson oh yes...as future son-in-law

..ehem ehem..hehe

8)gadgets:

iphone4s? galaxy sII? dslr? ipad2? ultrabook s3? perhaps....actually this things never end huh....no really matters to me....i got my nexus here,good enough for me =),can call...can sms..games..picture...cukup ;)

9)talk less,gossip less,foul language,cursing and other speech related...

*i'll try to lessen it coz totally changed it would be impossible!

10) may 2012 be a great year for me and everyone =)

happy new year people!!

Perhentian Island retreat Pt 2

2011-12-01T02:07:00.000-08:00

SUN goes down,with the whole day activities at the sea,we are starving to death, enough of feeding those fishes earlier,now its time for us to feed..so we head for nearby restaurant for our dinner..

yeah,that right.....the restaurant is flooded with the customers,somehow i feel that im in some kind of italian restaurant, or french(?) maybe..if u know what i mean =P

the restaurant is cozy with cool sea breeze and sound of wave crashing on the shore, and u can feel soft sand beneath ur feet...very unique..=)

with the roaring hungry stomach,i can devour almost anything...there so many choices on the menu,from rice to hot baked pizzas...from hot drink to smoothies..

but on second thought..with so many people waiting for their meal..we would rather have something that is simple and can prepare fast than wait and starve to death..

first runner up....

curry butter chicken....

the aromas i tell ya....its freaking tempting,imagine the smell of curry leaf+butter linger around ur nose with the hungry stomach..no one can resist..

second runner up....

seafood tom yum kong soup.....this is my all time favorite,and hers =P

this harmlessly looking soup pack enough firepower to smoke ur mouth..

the distinctive aromas of spices and lemon grass

and

kailan ikan masin...perhaps the most common dishes ever order everytime my family is eating out..but yet still appetizing =)

finally....

finally the white rice...we have endure waiting this "prick" to come before we can begin dining....

*ops sorry food,i shouldn't have curse u =P

with a fully loaded stomach,we plan to take a walk at the beach enjoying the sea breeze, we never planning to call a day off...no way,the time in perhentian is way too precious to all of us...so we plan something out,juz a few of us "youngster",lucky for us i brought some fireworks....its actually for my "surprise" for her,she like fireworks so much..long story short,it did't work out the way i wanted but we have so much fun that night =)

experimenting cool lighting with my brother's dslr super slow shutter speed ..nice

glow....glow....=)

my so called "mater piece" kononnya...just for her =)

the best part is they got bar here,selling cold soft drinks,beer and snacks

just us,some chips and cold coke and the sea breeze...

and we play monopoly deal too...

what a life =D

well lets call it a day =)

last day for us..

we wake up quite early in the morning...

exploring the rest of the island..

just the sound of the wave....how soothing =)

u can easily fall asleep just by lying on those chair..seriously..

scuba diving anyone? =)

no fin,just flippers =)

local artwork =)

good time fly away so fast, always.....we are so reluctant to say good bye to Perhentian island and the friendly locals...but vacation is over,gotta accept those fact,time to go back to our life..until we meet again...i will definitely go vacation again

*ceh ayat nk sedih je..

the end =)

*all the nice nice photo credit to my dear and my brother,u guys are awesome =D

Perhentian Island retreat Pt 1

2011-11-24T22:24:00.000-08:00

Malaysia still have some their island preserve remain pretty much un-touch by civilization

,as the tittle suggest. im visiting the perhentian island,is my first time visiting these kind of island...i mean the nice sandy beaches,cozy vegetation,clear blue water above all corals and marine lifes- kind of island.

its the best to pay this island a visit when is not on monsoon seasons..

yup..it is a family trip =)

u can tell right? the only way to get there is by boat or speed boat, or the local prefer to call it the "water taxi"

only the sea and me =)

the snorkeling paradise! =)

this sign board welcome us on our arrival...cant wait to go snorkeling! yeah =P

we can see that tourists already here before us..busy with their activities,thousands of thousand tourist from around the globe flooded the island around Malaysia like this two loving couple, so sweet =)

see those small figures lying on the beach? my brothers like to call it "dried lizards"..haha...is actually tourists enjoying their sun bathing...no offence folks! =P

however,they(the tourist) are not the only loving couple.....me with my darling =P

some of the island natural resident still unharmed,they are quite friendly =)

most of the tourists came here for one purpose, for scuba diving, divers around the world had come here each year to watch the corals paradise that is well preserve at the perhentian island coral garden reserve, another conservation project collaboration with the state government and the NGOs. Cheers for the these green rangers in their effort preserving the nature.

now....lets dive with the pros shall we? =)

scuba gears and well experience scuba guide are provided.... all u need to do is get the scuba diving license,or u can "earn" it here..GOOD LUCK!

that call it a day at perhentian island,worry not...we have excited activities waiting for us tomorrow morning....

guess what, is snorkeling! snorkeling is a must when u visit this island. with less than rm100,u can go snorkeling for whole day, ofcoz the best time for snorkeling is early in the morning around 8am-12 noon, as the saying goes early bird catch the worm (?)

well actually is becoz u will less likely to get sunburn during that time,as sun is still behind the hill....if u get what i mean...hehe

so probably the only way to go snorkeling is by renting the water taxi, the driver will bring u to the coral garden...then off u go into the water indulge into the magical beauty of the corals and marine paradise.

met this German kids who board the same boat as us,he came snorkeling with his mom and younger brother...this 10 years old swim like a fish,enjoying diving with the fishes, and if u notice....they no need life jacket to keep them floating unlike those two below..O.O

boooooooo~ shame on us =(

hey fishy fishy~ =P

to be continue.......

samsung Galaxy tab review

2011-08-31T05:27:00.000-07:00

my dream tablet is finally here...

the tablet typhoon had bring so many company compete for their tablet...finally the samsung had made their way in the tablet world...enough of the chit chat...here the Samsung Galaxy tab 10.1..the successor of the Galaxy Tab 7"

before u decide to grab one(or should probably grab one without reading it coz its really really awesome!!)
here the first glance at the spec..

Display: 10.1" 16M-color WXGA (1280 x 800 pixels) PLS TFT capacitive touchscreen, Gorilla Glass

ultra thin 8.6mm!

Dimensions: 256.6 x 172.9 x 8.6 mm, 565 g

ultra fast processor...why?
Dual-core!! 1GHz ARM Cortex-A9 processor and Tegra 2 chipset optimize for Gaming! with 1 GB of RAM latest OS
Android 3.1 Honeycomb

Memory: 16/32/64 GB storage

Camera: 3.15 megapixel auto-focus camera with 720p video recording; LED flash, 2 megapixel front facing camera, video-calls

Battery: 7000 mAh(9-10 hour of battery life)

Connectivity: Wi-Fi a/b/g/n, Wi-Fi hotspot, Bluetooth 3.0+HS, proprietary 30-pin connector port for charging, GPS receiver with A-GPS, 3.5mm audio jack, FM radio, HDMI TV-out (through an adapter), USB host (adapter required)

Misc: TouchWiz customization, DivX/XviD codec support, built-in accelerometer, multi-touch input, proximity sensor, gyroscope sensor

compare with the ipad2...

how u get it?
price

TABLET P7500 10.1 16GB - RM1850 (AP) / RM1870 (ORI)
TABLET P7500 10.1 16GB WIFI - RM1780 (AP)
TABLET P7510 10.1 32GB WIFI - RM2200 (AP)

Mislead

2011-07-17T04:13:00.000-07:00

just finish my morning prayer at Brickfield Buddhist mahavihara, i was alone that today as my friends all have something to do that day, english camp, sick, industrial training....whatever, as i was walking at at the pavement along the brickfield main street, the pavement that lead to the KL sentral monorail, that was my usual route every time i done my prayers. i saw a old blind lady walking with her walking stick or what they called the white stick, obviously she was in difficulty finding her way,she frisk through her way slowly with her white stick . i walked passed her when i saw that moment, walked a few metre pass her before i turn around and help her. i noticed that pedestrian around didn't seems to care to lend a hand to help her, not even the Police officer at the "Balai polis bergerak" who practically standing there scaring the foreigners.

Never mind that , as i approach her, i started to as her " aunty, where u wan to go? " in mandarin, she ignore, then i asked again " aunty, which way u are heading?" in cantonese, then only she respond "i wan to go EON bank there", maybe is the junction there just after EON bank, as i hold her arm and telling her steps, she walked a bit faster. But i noticed one thing....she was scared. When i try to carried her stuff in her hands,she suddenly get scared and hold firm the stuff she carried.she keep saying " never mind,i can walk on my own " in cantonese, and seems to refuse me from assist her anymore, i never had the chance to walk her until the destination, i just watching her from a distant and watch her disappear into the alley.

It was disappointing a little coz i cant help them until the end like i used to be.It sad that people mislead our kindness for something bad, at the same time damned all those bad people who scare all these needy people and make them lose faith to people who offer helps. this post is not to brag everyone about how kind i was, or how i am helping the other, but rather to show to the others how all that S.O.B who take advantage on these people, poor that old lady, she must one of the victims of snatch thieves or something, or probably heard the news from elsewhere. nevertheless, they lived in fear not to mention they had to go through those hard live in this community.

Taiwanese Steamboat Buffet @ Shabu One, Lot 10

2011-07-03T02:42:00.000-07:00

SHABU ONE,located at Lot 10 kuala lumpur,just right next to the bukit bintang monorail station.
shabu one is a taiwanese style steamboat buffet,if u are looking for fresh seafood steamboat buffet at affordable price then u had come to the right place.Believe or not this is not the first time i visited shabu one,but every time we are go back with satisfaction =)

this how the main entrance looks like just in case u dunno which one is it when u reach LOT 10....is in LOT 10 3rd floor

worry that steamboat takes too long to be cook because u cant hold ur hunger anymore?? worry not.....there are also cooked food,this one is curry fish ball...damn nice

sweet sauce chicken wings

so many variety of seafood to choose from,it makes u stop for a moment to decide what to eat with all the choices in front of ur eyes.

u can see that this restaurant is very generous in providing it customer with fresh seafood from the sea,even some seafood are pricey.....but here...u can eat whatever u want,as many as u like with the same price.

the fresh stingray fish,taste really nice with the tom yum flavor soup

i recommend this if u come to SHABU ONE,this white fish meat taste really nice, the fish meat is boneless and the taste is very unique and sweet,the fat melt in ur mouth and the meat taste very smooth,and of course no fish odour too!

variety of shape,taste and colour fishball , especially kids. yeah....SHABU ONE had it =)

for the squid lover =)

more squid to choose from~!

shabu one not only provide seafood,but various kind of meat to be choose from. But no worries, Shabu one is Pork and Lads free,so everyone can enjoy it here =)

bored of eating meat and meat and meat? there plenty of leafy green veggie to choose from,full of veggies goodness.....specially for veggie lover ! dont forget to take veggie for ur daily fibre intake,u need those fibre to chop down and digest those food u ate =)

with her favorite tomato..hehe

SHABU ONE also offer variety types of noodle,u can make ur own noodles,the soup base already provide, the soup from ur steamboat are perfect to eat with the noodles because as old people says, soup contain all the essence from the food u cooked. trust me,the soup had their own unique flavor from all the seafood u cooked =),lets start making noodles with ur own style...

what so special about SHABU ONE is that they have the secret sauce station which u can mix and match ur own secret sauce to suit ur taste buds,which later can be use to dip with the food, NOBODY will know ur own secret recipe =)

there are spices....for ur secret sauce =)

herbs =)

not to forget dessert =) there are dessert station with variety kind of dessert to choose from...ranging from fresh cut fruits, jelly,pudding and fruits punch. alas! they got everyday's special...which they have different dessert everyday =D

if there the dessert,there the ice cream! =)with all the food that i take.i thought i was very very full, OH Hey! there are always room for ice cream! =P

my dear is so happy with her mix and match ice cream =D

after a long journey of 3 hour,countless of empty plates,piles of bones and shells,dunno how many empty glasses and finally..........

ahhhhh.......full stomach! =) we both went back with satisfaction =)
make sure u visit SHABU ONE when u read this ^^

shabu one 鼎旺

Lunch - RM25.99+
Afternoon - RM20.99+
Dinner - RM25.99+
** Student Promotion - RM19.99+ (Student Card with Expiry Date)
** Member Special - RM20.99+ (Mon til Fri)
** Family Package - RM51.99+ (2 adults + 2 Child) Sunday only.

**All promotion is not entilte on Public Holiday, Eve & Festive Celebration.

business hour:
weekdays: 1100am-1100pm
weekend: sunday 1100am-1100pm
rest on saturday =)

i love clara bong chwee ping

2011-06-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

the name is clara bong chwee ping...
born on 1990 21 April "waaaah waaaah wahhhh"crying as a cute baby into this world..
and raise in Malacca town..

and a special person is born into this world.....
with love and tender she was raise up...
as who she are now..
pretty,cute,cheerful and lovable by everyone =)
especially by me ofcoz...=P

i love u clara..
u make me strong...
u are me...
me are u..
we are one...
cant live without u..
but i still can breathe without u...=P
coz i only need clean air to breathe...
*joking baby =P

i miss u...
i miss u much...
even when i close my eyes...
wait....
this is not a poet..
or a song lyrics..
is really what happen..
this is what happen to me..
even when i write this blog...
even when i really darn sleepy from today presentation..
i miss u...every minute..
every second would be ridiculous...=P

clara...
i love u...
words cant describe ..
only u can feel it through the heart..
hope u can really feel it..
only one slot for u...just for u..

I LOVE U dear~♥

tips so that u wont get CON at low yat plaza

2011-06-13T07:34:00.000-07:00

have u bought something at low yat? u were satisfy and happy....but the next thing u know u found the goods are selling way cheaper on else where or online. then only u realize u been conned,cheated or deceived?

im sure many of u guys gadgets freak happen to go low yat plaza,even u are not a gadget freak,im pretty sure u will go for a at least once to that place...
then im sure u guys know they earn money by "cekik darah", holding the policy "我们就是靠这样来找吃" or " 没有办法咯，要找吃吗" by that...they ought to take advantage on innocent customer who know less about current gadgets updates.

this is base on my real experience(i wont mention here),i know a thing or two about gadgets because i frequently update myself on news about the current gadgets.....and yet i still get cons,usually they will take advantage by charge with overprice,so i don't wan other to been through what i been through....believe me some of them are professional in cheating,scam and lies....dont get me wrong,there still good and honest people in low yat,they runs their business with true honestly...

Rules (before purchasing)

1) make sure u know what u are looking for, e:g phone model,warranty policy,market price and types.this is to make sure they wont overprice you.rm20 or 30 more is ok for me coz they need the profit,but overprice by more than rm100?! that absurd!

2） you must done your homework,read reviews or watch youtube about the particular phone review, then check and compare the prices online so you get some idea on how much the current phone price.Reviews on internet is always more reliable because the shopkeeper tend to promote you to buy the phone that will give them the most profit,not base on the real review.

3) Once you found the model/gadget of your choice,stick with it. This is because normally the shop owner will tend to persuade you to choose for other model which might not done your homework,in other word you know nothing about the phone,that is when they will try to charge you more than the normal market price.

4) If trying to survey for several phone at a time,try to make a list of the gadgets with the specs,prices and etc. you might mistaken for the price when it come to so many choices at low yats.

5) The best way is of course try to find other alternatives other than buying at low yat plaza, avoid buying at low yat plaza.Nowadays there so many other places where you can get your gadgets from the trusted dealer.My recommendation, shop online =) *i will discuss online shopping later.

6) shop online is way better coz the gadgets is always cheaper than the shop,if u know where u are looking for, and u are less likely to get cheated why?
I) no need for shop rental,save cost,cheaper price
II)to dealer online good reputation is very important for their business to gain customer trust,so if they cheat on even one customer,the customer complain,GAME OVER for their business.
III) its easier to compare price online,so u are less likely to be charge with overprice goods

General tips when at low yat plaza:

1) when went for surveying ,avoid asking blindly as if u know nothing about gadgets,avoid asking something like: "this how much? *pointing that phone* " or "u got sell sony ericson XXX?how much?",basically avoid asking stupid question, clearly u are the target of those con man, instead u should ask something like "give me your best price for sony ericson XXX" that sound more professional right?

2)don't ever ever ever let them make u pay for deposit, no no no..if u pay for the deposit mean that the end of your survey,u are force to purchase his goods even he give u bad price.i really regret i done that mistake.personal experience,found the gadget to be cheaper(rm100 or rm200 cheaper) on another shop after i paid the deposit to the previous shop =="

3) general rule of thumb,usually con man speak very fluently,everything he say is almost flawless, we called it "sembang kencang","sembang pom! pom! pom!" "bull shitting", stay away from that kind of guy.

4) always stay alert,trust no one but urself when in low yat, don't just simply believe on what they said,dun think they wont take advantage on u just becoz u are chinese like them,u are wrong...they prey on anyone. "ape?? lu igt lu cine lu x kne tipu ar?? " *base on my personal experience,im not simply make up the story* ,try to ask them to show proof on what they said.

5)if u really wan to survey,avoid surveying on the same floor, normally those dealer know each other. they will just contact their counterpart from other shop either to give the same price as them or higher price so that u would return to them. seriously! this thing happen in front of my eyes when the dealer A got caught phone calling to dealer B to gave me higher price so that i would go back to dealer A store! so..survey store on different floor

hopefully with this guidance and tips,less and less people will get deceive again~
and hopefully my experiences will help other..because we are consumer,we have our right...that is basically only a few thing that i listed above,there much much more tips and rules....
im sorry for my poor english, but the most important is my message is clear..
im would like to apologize if i offended anyone about my post,i can assure u that all that i wrote is the truth base on true event,Buddha be my witness..

P/s: kindly pass this around so everyone can read it....not need to put on my name for privacy purposes.

just another Weekend

2011-06-11T03:43:00.000-07:00

*sorry with all the delayed post...more post are coming...*

just moved yesterday....yes...moved again....pindah lg...me and my roomate just clean the house yesterday,but still left kitchen and the "ampaian" need to be scrub and mop.

this morning wake up by morning call from her =) sweet..but need her to rang up several time before this deaf rock head can wake up..hehe

today gonna head to times square once again to get my nexus S carbon fiber(waited for last week and last last week,dissapointed),contact the dealer for confirmation..humph!! today is the day...

this is it...after having breakfast...i straight head the nearest LRT station,then monorail..

crowded morning in the monorail....everyone is going for their weekend outing.manage snap this before i squeeze in

here i am at berjaya times square...9th floor west wing,shop lot 9-42...to the tech hub asia.

tadaa......done...cabon fiber skin nicely done...

COLD STORAGE!! time to stockpile foods,all the food enough for me to survive for a week or two..hehe becoz

i live in the deserted island~

after everything settle...head back to my campus..
question of the day that i hate so much each time i bump into my friend all the way..
"sorang kew? mne bong?"
i was like....=( " yah~ im alone today...pelik sangat kew tengok ak jln sowang?" =="

The Mazda3 MPS

Mazda car exhibition at times square ground floor middle, huuu...my dream car, but change my mind after i take a peek at the price tag....rm2xx,xxx. thats wayyyyy out of my league...$.$ i better buy a house and get marry with that sum of money~♥

time to go back~

my house wasn't so bad right?got sofa,nice furniture and etc =D but it only temporary...i got the feeling we will move again...and again...=="

mopping the floor...u r so wrong if u think a guys dun know how to mop the floor =P

my snack~ "ayam brand's ready-to-eat fine selected cold water sardine in extra virgin olive oil in Mediterranean recipe" (the name is so long long,actually its just a sardine in can) hahahaha

there goes my weekend....i miss her ='(

UPNM the great migration

2011-03-19T23:45:00.000-07:00

"yes...u guys are going to move again..coz new students are coming in..to the previous apartment..."

i was like....corre is "we" were like....

for your information we already move like 10 times within the campus since i enter here(not exactly alot compare to other) but is still a lot to us...not complaining ya..
but we admit we hate moving....
booo~ to moving....
boo~ to pindah-randah...

why we hate it so much?
-seperate from old roomate
tiring coz u have to carry and move ur every belongings to the new apartment by hand + foot
2.5km away(yess....seriously)

*devil whisper 1:ceeh...just an excuses,u guys are trained to carry heavy backpack and walk miles and miles,should be no problem
devil whisper 2:yah la...but still need a lot of energy ma...still tiring mah...we are human ehh..
devil whisper 1:fine.........

-stuff mostly will be gone or stolen-need to be extra careful with urs belongings
-wasting time,coz we need whole day and several trips to carry everything from point A to point B.

"alright !!complain no more... and start working!!"
10am everyone already started packing crazily as if a tsunami is coming.....

everything is "sumbat" into the bag.....

hehe lazy to fold and wanna save time...really,is fast...=D
and the moving begun....one by one the luggaes,books,other belongings and clothes are carry to the new place...

see....junior is helping senior on carrying his stuff....so nice,this is what we called teamwork =)

this will make the UPNM a better place ^^

the truth is....

hehe......every senior went through this when we were a junior ,including me....
so i know what it feels like...but take it positively,is a learning process....and its an experience u won't get anywhere else...
but mind u,i carry my belongings myself,never get help help from juniors....=D
is tiring but nvm, no need to depend on others...

finally after the long walk...i thought all our problem are solved, i only need to carry my stuff to the elevators,so called the "finish line" ,after the elevator i just need to reach the 5th floor(my room is on 5thfloor) ,walk a bit and can put everything down.So i told myself "c'mon eugene is almost there,walk a bit more,hold on" as my hand was shaking and trembling from heavy lifting.

as i reach the elevator.....
the nightmare begin....

4 elevator,3 out of service......1 reserve for maintenance work on the upper floor for the workers.......so that mean 0 can be use....so that mean i have to climb the ladder....i was like..

speechless.......and down for a moment...

but anyhow i must carry all the things to the 5th floor,i said "Go hell with it...nothing can stop me,i wan to finish the thing as soon as possible then i can call her =)"
.......somehow this motivate me to push myself and climb the ladder with the things one by one...finally i reach my new room....

*still several trip to move all my stuff from my old apartment...."good,very good"

basically it was a room left by the previous junior,some of the lamp and socket are broken,it all dusty toilet ceiling leaking,the toilet are dirty and of course something else is missing....but ok la...the floor is shinning(coz u cant see the dust)

did u notice??

look carefully.....

nvm la...i announce the answer for u,kesian u...=D
*im such a nice guy =D

ting! ting! is the furniture....the bed,the chair and the study table for six person missing, my roommate say "ah ha...i got an evil plan,lets go take furniture from the classroom tonight,there plenty of them there...muahahaha"
but the room is not entirely on the downside, the room have :
-good broadband reception(thumb up)
-bigger space
-many ceiling fan(dry clothes faster,cooler on hot day)
-nearer to the mess a.k.a dining hall
-nearer to the lecture hall
-nearer to the library
-stay with together with all 6 of my course-mate,group study is much easier now

without wasting more time,we started cleaning and moving stuff.

he is one of my roomate, such a poser..haha, in the busyness we never failed to take a few shot....=D,can see that all the stuff still unpack and the bed is still disassemble.

the whole tedious day of moving to the new apartment is finally come to an end,it is a compliment to see the nice scenery outside the window after a tired day....now is time for me to bath and clean myself from the few layer of sweat and dust(ewwww....yucksss) ,eat back all the energy that i have lost,recharge and get some rest...and there goes my Saturday.

and ofcoz make a calls to "ehem ehem" =D yahoo~

how to make a cake(is not as easy as u might think)

2011-03-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

warning:
this is a guide on how to make a very,absolutely, acutely, amply, astonishingly, awfully, certainly, considerably, dearly, decidedly, deeply, eminently, emphatically, exaggeratedly, exceedingly, excessively, extensively, extraordinarily, extremely, greatly, highly, incredibly, indispensably, largely, notably, noticeably, particularly, positively, powerfully, pressingly, pretty, prodigiously, profoundly, remarkably, substantially, superlatively, surpassingly, surprisingly, terribly, truly, uncommonly, unusually, vastly, wonderfully cake....

let me show u how to make the cake even money cant buy,and not just anyone can eat...is for me,for the first time in my life =) is not ego ya,is something i should be happy,proud and joyful of,something meant to be share with everyone ^^

here are the step...
1)first u put all ingredient inside a big bowl

the ingredient list:
# 1 cup flour
# 50oz cup sugar
# 1/2 teaspoon salt
# 3 tablespoons cocoa
# 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
# 1/2 cup milk
# 1 eggs
# 1/4 cup butter
# 1 teaspoon baking soda
# 1/3 cup of yeast
# 1/2 cup of water
#some fruit for dressing

*the special ingredient(100% natural one,don't ever ever buy at store)
#lots of lots tin of love(as many as possible)
#1 big bowl of sweat
#1 big jar of tears
#1 big jar of effort
#a lot lot of time

2)mix up everything as shown in picture....

stir...
stir....
stir....

yawn just like hippo~haha

and stir....=D

be patient...
is not a normal cake ya...must have extra effort..=)
next...

3)Pour the mixture into an greased and floured round pan.....

4)bake in oven for 350 degrees F for 40 or 50 minutes.

5)while waiting,go call someone...hehe,time will fly faster

wait...
wait...
and..

"ting........!!"

take out the cake carefully...

6)let it cool in the fridge

and finally...tadaaa~

okay okay..time to be serious..

the truth is...that cake is for my birthday....i haven got my birthday party for quite some time,ever since im in secondary school i think...not really care actually,coz everyone is busy..hmmm forget that...
ofcoz im not the one who bake the cake..
the baker?
him...

hehe...joking....i dun even know who is that guy..
is her =)

my dear^^she went through all the trouble to make the chocolate cake for me...
the special ingredient is real ofcoz...i just describe literally in words =)

很感动 =/

now i wan to eat the cake..
make a wish...no need to ask,i wont tell u =P

damn nice...u probably would have guess how the cake taste like just by the look on my face...=D

seriously nice...every ounce is made with loving and caring ^^
unforgettable birthday...simple yet mean so much for me,and the cake and herself spending time with me is the best present i ever get,its priceless...i will never ever and never and ever and never and ever and never ever and never and never ever and never and never ever and never and(how many time never and ever ady? =P) forget this moment with u...=)

thanks dear, i ♥ u ^^

*sorry to delay it such a long time,really wan to write it as good as i can...to carve a smile on ur face =)

唉米修，米修，米修 =）

2011-03-16T10:49:00.000-07:00

do u ever miss someone?.....errr.....just anyone u love? is nice right?...but in a way something is quite uncomfortable,what i mean is sometimes u will feel like...

can imagine that? u know what i mean...hehe

or

and sometime u got this feeling most of the time...

missing someone is like eating my favourite sweet and sour thai pad prik...yummy
she like it too =)

missing someone will make u down,because u wanted too see her so badly but u cant...
missing someone will make u feel anticipated,waiting for the each day that when u will meet her again...hmmm when?

but at the same time missing someone is sweet coz at the same time she also misses u.for sure...can u feel it ? =) is a miracle how lovers are connected ^^
missing someone is a bliss coz u know u have someone to think of,and that special someone is also think of u,maybe more than u think =)
missing someone also make u anticipated arrival of each day,for tomorrow's day...naturally the day pass faster =)
missing her also mean the strength of each other love~

sometime being able to talk to her just for awhile is like a power booster to me,afterward i will go do my stuff with morale on the top notch..seriously =D

(u need to watch dragon ball to understand this hehe)

what more important is missing someone is not something bad,u miss her/him becoz u love him/her,u miss becoz u have someone u love that is missing u back....
right now i miss her...no,is not "right now",is i always miss her..

*p/s:writing this blog make me miss her,and i write this blog because i miss her ,so which one come first?..O.O

Buddism view on sex

2011-03-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

is been awhile since i last updated my post...hehe sorry,busy is always the best excuse...but "people" is complaining, "when u wan to update ur blog?" "long time ady din update ur blog.." something like that..so here im =)
our society as we all know are constantly evolved from time to time....for instant homosexual is so outrageous in the past but is a norm nowadays,pre-marital pregnancy is an headlines is newspapers but not anymore nowadays,sex is something so embarrassing in the past.. but is outspoken widely among us youngster,so how is it that sex and religion is still relevant in the modern days especially the younger generation..as our elderly always utter "hais....youngster nowadays are so open minded,during my time aaa....something like this where got happen..blaa blaa" and their lecturing goes on.For me sex is not something good or bad,sex is a pleasure right? is something undoubtedly good,please correct me if im wrong,so it depend on how u view the thing, provided u must be open minded enough to view thing as a whole,not just skeptical view and view thing only in one angle...surely u will mislead. In the end what im trying to say here is just pointless right? =)
mind u before u continue reading,please sure u r ready and open ur mind,im sure u will be surprise and at the same time it might change the whole perspective and view on sex,otherwise it will be just another normal article that u read and forget, have fun reading..^^

Buddhism and Sex
by
M. O'C. Walshe

This is an age in which sexual matters are discussed with great openness. There are many who are puzzled to know what the Buddhist attitude towards sex is, and it is therefore to be hoped that the following guidelines may be found helpful towards an understanding. It is, of course, true to say that Buddhism, in keeping with the principle of the Middle Way, would advocate neither extreme puritanism nor extreme permissiveness, but this, as a guiding principle without further specification, may not seem sufficiently helpful for most people.

In the first place, we must distinguish between the rules undertaken by Buddhist monks for their own conduct, and any guiding principles for lay people.

The Bhikkhu

A bhikkhu, or fully-ordained monk in the Theravada tradition, has taken upon himself a set of 227 rules of conduct. The aim of all of these is to enable him to conduct himself in such a way as is most conducive to the attaining of Enlightenment. The rules are voluntarily undertaken, and if a monk feels unable to live up to them, he is free to leave the Order, which is considered much more honorable than hypocritically remaining in the robe while knowingly infringing the rule. There are four basic rules, infringement of which is termed Parajika or "Defeat," and involves irrevocable expulsion from the Order. The only one we are concerned with here is the first, which deals with sexual intercourse.

Complete sexual continence is considered an essential feature of the monastic life. Intercourse of a heterosexual or homosexual character is automatically a Parajika offense. A monk who performs such an act is considered to have expelled himself from the Order, and is no longer in communion with the other monks. Any acts of a sexually unbecoming nature falling short of intercourse result in suspension and require expiation. Samaneras, or novice monks, who break their training in this respect are disrobed.

The same principle applies to the Mahayana schools and of course, to nuns in those schools where they exist. There is no such thing as a "married monk," though in certain schools, especially in Japan, a form of "quasi-monasticism" with married teachers who retain a form of ordination is permitted under certain conditions. But all this has no relevance to the Theravada Sangha.

Ancient India

Before turning to our main theme, it is as well to have some idea of the sexual mores of ancient India in the Buddha's time. Gotama himself, as a prince, was brought up surrounded by concubines and dancing-girls as a matter of course. Polygamy was common. Ambapali, the courtesan from whom the Buddha accepted gifts, was a person of some consequence. It was not expected that young men would lead a life of much restraint, and the Buddha with his profound understanding of human nature knew well what demands to make of people in this respect. Thus we find the following formulation of what a man should avoid:

He avoids unlawful sexual intercourse, abstains from it. He has no intercourse with girls who are still under the protection of father or mother, brother, sister, or relative; nor with married women, nor female convicts; nor lastly with betrothed girls.

If a man could observe greater restraint than this, so much the better. The Buddha's outlook on this question was, then, realistic for his age, and we should endeavor to view the subject as realistically as possible in the light of modern conditions.

The Lay Buddhist

The third of the Five Precepts undertaken by lay Buddhists runs: Kamesu micchacara veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami, "I undertake the course of training in refraining from wrong-doing in respect of sensuality." Some lay people who, usually for a specified period, undertake more than the usual five precepts, take this one in the stricter form: Abrahmacariya veramani..., which commits them, for the duration of the undertaking, to observe the same restraint as the monks. With these, too, we are not further concerned, as their position is now obvious.

For the average lay person, the Third Precept is on exactly the same footing as the other four. There is, in the Buddhist view, nothing uniquely wicked about sexual offenses or failings. Those inclined to develop a guilt-complex about their sex-life should realize that failure in this respect is neither more, nor, on the other hand, less serious than failure to live up to any other precept. In point of fact, the most difficult precept of all for nearly everybody to live up to is the fourth — to refrain from all forms of wrong speech (which often includes uncharitable comments on other people's real or alleged sexual failings!).

What precisely, then, does the Third Precept imply for the ordinary lay Buddhist? Firstly, in common with all the other precepts, it is a rule of training. It is not a "commandment" from God, the Buddha, or anyone else saying: "Thou shalt not..." There are no such commandments in Buddhism. It is an undertaking by you to yourself, to do your best to observe a certain type of restraint, because you understand that it is a good thing to do. This must be clearly understood. If you don't think it is a good thing to do, you should not undertake it. If you do think it is a good thing to do, but doubt your ability to keep it, you should do your best, and probably, you can get some help and instruction to make it easier. If you feel it is a good thing to attempt to tread the Buddhist path, you may undertake this and the other precepts, with sincerity, in this spirit.

Secondly, what is the scope and purpose of this precept? The word kama means in Pali "sensual desire," which is not exclusively sexual. It is here used in a plural form which comes close to what is meant by the Biblical expression "the lusts of the flesh." Greed for food and other sensual pleasure is also included. Most people who are strongly addicted to sexual indulgence are also much drawn to other sense-pleasures. Though we are here only concerned with the sexual aspect, this point should be noted. For those with any grasp at all of Buddhist principles, the basic reason for such an injunction should be immediately obvious. Our dukkha — our feeling, of frustration and dissatisfaction with life — is rooted in our desires and cravings. The more these can be brought under control, the less dukkha we shall experience. It is as simple as that. But of course, that which is simple is not necessarily easy.

Thus while there is, so to speak, a considerable overlap in the content of the Third Precept with the Jewish and Christian commandment, "Thou shalt not commit adultery," there is a big difference in the spirit and approach. Since most people in the West have some Christian conditioning — even if only indirectly — it is as well to be clear about this. The traditional Christian view is that sexual intercourse is permissible solely within the marriage-bond. Even then the implication is that, except as a necessary means for the procreation of children, it is really rather a bad thing, and should be restricted as far as possible — hence the debate about "the pill" and the like. Certain things such as contraception, homosexual activity, and so on are often looked on with horror and declared "unnatural" (which cannot be entirely correct since, after all, they happen!). Some of these prohibitions may today be more honored in the breach than the observance, but there is no doubt that rigid views of this sort are still widely held and officially propagated. The inevitable reaction, encouraged by some real or alleged psychological experts, is towards an attitude of total permissiveness, in which "anything goes." As was said earlier, rigid puritanism and total permissiveness are extreme views, to neither of which the Buddhist teaching subscribes. The one is merely an inadequate reaction against the other. What we have to do — what Buddhism in fact teaches us to do — is to map out a sane course between the two.

Sexual Pleasure and the Concept of "Sin"

Reduced to essentials, the great debate about sex revolves, for many people, around the concept of sin. To the puritan, indulgence in sexual activity for the sake of pleasure is evil, wicked, or, as he tends to say, "sinful" (i.e., displeasing to God). To the permissivist (to coin an awkward but convenient term), this is nonsense. He probably rejects the term "sin" as meaningless, and not only sees nothing evil in sexual pleasure but regards it as, highly legitimate, perhaps as the highest pleasure there is and certainly as something to which, in principle at least, everybody has a right. Many people, coming from a more or less Christian background with at least some puritanical overtones, find the true Buddhist attitude to this problem rather difficult to see. Perhaps they have never even been given a clear explanation of it or, if they have, it may have seemed too technical for them, and they have not grasped the point. The point, in fact, is of considerable importance, so it is worthwhile attempting to make it clear. It involves a proper elementary grasp of what is meant by kamma — something which many people, who may have been "Buddhists" for years, have never had.

We may, however, perhaps begin more profitably by considering the word "sin." "Sin" to a Christian is primarily thought of as a breach of God's commandments. This explanation is of course not wrong in terms of Christian theology, but is not applicable in Buddhism, where there are no such commandments that one can infringe. As already indicated, the so-called precepts are in fact undertakings to oneself, which is something different. They are more on a par with the instruction "Look both ways before you cross the road." Still there is much agreement between the content of the Five Precepts and some of the Ten Commandments, so it may be wise in many cases to behave accordingly, whichever formulation one follows. However, there is another rendering of the word sin itself which in fact (though less well-known) comes much closer to the Buddhist view of things. In the Bible, "sin" actually renders Hebrew and Greek words which literally mean "missing the mark," i.e., behaving inadequately or unskillfully. The sinner, then, is like an unskillful archer who misses his aim (could this be the real meaning of Zen and the Art of Archery?). But this comes, surely, very close to the idea of akusala kamma or "unskilled action" in Buddhism.

The Pali word kamma (Sanskrit karma) literally means "action" (i.e., volition: cetana), which can be either skilled (kusala) or unskilled (akusala). The results of action (kamma) accrue to the doer as vipaka, which is pleasant when the action was skilled, unpleasant when it was unskilled (if I look before I cross the road, I shall get across safely, which is pleasant; if I don't look I may get run down, which is unpleasant). The feelings we experience are in fact of the nature of vipaka — they are dependent on past kamma. And of course we are continually creating fresh kamma for a good part of our time. It should therefore be noted that the feeling of pleasure (sexual or otherwise) is not an action, but a result. There is, therefore, nothing either "skillful" or "unskillful" about experiencing such a feeling. We should therefore not regard it as either "virtuous" or "sinful." So far, so good. Such pleasant feelings can be enjoyed with a clear conscience and no guilt feeling. If this were all, there would be no problem. The puritans would be routed and the permissivists justified. Unfortunately, there is another side to the matter. We may recall that a few years ago there was a song "Money is the Root of all Evil" Some people pointed out that not money, but the love for money is the root of all evil (well, of a lot of evil, anyway). And here is the snag. Sexual pleasure (like money) is not "evil" (or unskilled), but attachment to sexual pleasure (like the love of money) is. If we can experience the pleasure without attachment we are all right; if we become attached to it, we are not "hitting the mark." Now of course it is rather difficult (to put it mildly) to experience pleasure of any sort without feeling attached to it. But attachment is kamma, and unskilled kamma at that. And the results of that will inevitably, according to Buddhism, be something unpleasant in the future.

Many people will find this explanation novel. Some will find it puzzling. Some will undoubtedly reject it — with or without investigation — with the excuse that it is overly subtle, or arbitrary, or something of the sort. What they mean is, of course, that they find it inconvenient. But it will repay a lot of consideration and mindful investigation. Careful study, in fact, should show that it is the key to the whole problem. The matter can also be considered in terms of the law of Dependent Origination: "Contact is the basis for the arising of feeling; feeling... of craving; craving... of clinging;" etc., the ultimate outcome being of course the continued process of becoming, with all the sufferings entailed.

Thus, if we wish to adjudicate between the puritans and the permissivists, we cannot say that either side is entirely right. We might, however, suggest that the puritans are partly right for the wrong reasons. Sexual indulgence is not wicked, but it may be in some degree inadvisable. Most people will not feel able to refrain altogether (nor are they being urged to), but there is merit in moderation.
Marriage

Setting aside all ideas derived from other sources, other religions and philosophies of life, what is the Buddhist attitude towards marriage? For many Buddhists, in the East or the West, there is no great problem. They live a reasonably normal married life just as do many Christians, humanists, and others. We may say they are lucky, or enjoy the results of favorable kamma in this respect. For others, of all creeds or none, serious problems arise and must be somehow faced.

In the Christian tradition, marriage is usually termed a "sacrament." In some branches of Christianity it is treated as an indissoluble bond, though usually there are a few loopholes. Other branches of Christianity permit divorce in certain rather narrowly defined circumstances, and of course in most (though by no means all) countries the state permits divorce and the remarriage of divorced persons, with or without the approval of the Church.

In Buddhism, marriage is not a "sacrament," as such a concept does not exist. And it is not any part of the functions of Buddhist monks to join lay people together in holy wedlock (or deadlock). If it is occasionally done today in Japan, this is just a modern idea in conformity with a general tendency among Japanese Buddhists to imitate (often perhaps unwisely) Christian institutions. In the Buddhist tradition it is often the custom for bhikkhus to give their "blessing" after the civil wedding-ceremony has been performed. But even this is really more of a concession to the laity than anything else. And if the marriage does not turn out a success, no bhikkhu has any authority to say that that marriage shall not be dissolved. Divorce, like marriage, is a civil affair. Likewise, if a married couple decide to practice contraception, that is entirely their business. The Sangha will not feel called upon to interfere or object. It must be admitted that certain bhikkhus have been heard to declare that contraception is wrong and should be banned — but that is their private opinion. It is no part of the Buddhist teaching.

Abortion is of course a different matter. Since this involves the taking of life, it contravenes the First Precept. It can only be condoned in cases of serious health hazards, where it may represent the lesser evil.

In getting married, people obviously take on a responsibility, both towards each other and towards whatever children they have. Any form of irresponsible behavior is clearly reprehensible by any reasonable standards, whether we call ourselves Buddhists or anything else. If we bear in mind, and try to observe, all the five precepts, the chances of a successful marriage are obviously increased. Excessive drinking, for instance (in breach of the Fifth Precept), is a potent source of unhappy marriages.

What, it may be asked, of "adultery," i.e., extra-marital sexual relations? The short answer is that, quite obviously, this is something to be avoided. But the point should be made that Buddhism does not regard this, or any other sexual irregularities and deviations, as somehow uniquely wicked. In countries nominally Christian the special kind of horror with which such things are, or recently were, regarded can be pushed to grotesque extremes. Not many years ago a certain politician was solemnly declared by some to be unfit to become Prime Minister because he had been the innocent partner in a divorce case! More recently still, another politician was hounded from office because of acts of adultery of which his wife forgave him! Yet many politicians in all countries have got away with far worse things of a non-sexual character without a word being said. Buddhists should try to behave themselves sexually, as in other respects, to the best of their ability — but they should learn to exercise the maximum of charity towards the lapses of others. If a marriage has irretrievably broken down, even though it may continue in name, the situation is of course quite different. In such circumstances one may well feel that complete abstinence is a burden greater than one can reasonably be expected to bear.

The things that can go wrong with a marriage are legion. A partner can be impotent, ill, irresponsible, jealous, drunken, a compulsive gambler, deranged, promiscuous, miserly, unemployable, or several of these things. Or both partners can be perfectly charming people and yet utterly unsuited to each other. It may be that only the children — poor wretches — hold the "marriage" together. At the same time, there may be many reasons which make a dissolution impossible or impracticable. An extra-marital relationship in such circumstances may serve to make the situation tolerable. Those who find themselves in such a situation must make the best job of it they can. It is not for others, more fortunate or more timid, to be excessively censorious.

Sex Outside Marriage

Here again, we should try to look at things calmly and clearly, and, above all, responsibly. Nowadays there is pretty frank acceptance of what has always been the case, that a lot of people in fact have sexual intercourse without going through the formality of getting married. No doubt there is more of it now than there used to be because, for one thing, contraception is a lot more efficient than formerly, and also because religious prejudices are fast breaking down. This is a simple statement of fact, not of what ought or ought not to be the case. In the case of engaged couples, it is probably by now the usual thing, and is not very heavily frowned upon by most people. But it cannot be termed exactly rare among couples who have not the slightest intention of getting engaged.

In the past, it was widely considered (and almost openly admitted) that pre-marital sex was a good thing for young men, but a bad thing for girls. Now sex-equality has caught up on this, as on so many other things. In any case, we may as well accept the fact that, whatever we may think about it, preaching by the older generation will, by and large, have precious little effect on the young. This is probably one thing most parents are worried about.

The young people of today are not, usually, notably impressed by the wisdom of their elders. They may quite often be perfectly right in this skepticism, but of course it does not follow that they themselves are really any wiser. It may be that their folly merely takes on a different form. Let us remember that basically, if Buddhism teaches us anything at all, it is that almost all human beings are pretty dim-witted, on the whole. That after all is why we are here at all. But still, if those who are parents can succeed in inculcating a sense of responsibility into their young, that in all probability is about all they can do. There are no easy answers.

Queen Victoria reigned for sixty glorious years, and even despite the pioneering efforts of her son and successor Edward VII, it still took England a further sixty years (including two major wars) to cast off the last shreds of Victorian respectability. Now at last the deed has been done, and naked young men can stand on the stage and utter naughty words without a Lord Chamberlain to say them nay. Is this progress, or was Victorian prudery preferable to modern rudery? We are back with the two extremes once again. We must seek the middle way.

Of course, if the young would only listen, there is no doubt we older ones could give them all sorts of quite genuinely good advice. And there is just one chance that they will listen: if we can somehow avoid being patronizing. But the heavy father act is now definitely out, and the establishment line cuts no ice. If we tell the youth of today they stink (even though some of them do), they will simply turn round and tell us our ideas stink.

However, if we can succeed in getting across to them at all, we may be able, humbly to suggest certain things for their consideration. Sex is something the younger generation of today are intensely aware of. In fact, they would have to be born blind and deaf not to be. It is exploited commercially today in every conceivable way. Our entire commercial civilization is founded on the principle of stimulating bigger and better desires in all of us, all the time. And at a conservative estimate, about 75% of all advertising at the present time includes an element of sexual titillation (sometimes cunningly disguised, at other times blatantly obvious). It has been found, quite clearly, that sex stimulates the sales of anything and everything from typewriters to weed-killers. That it is the mainstay of virtually every conceivable kind of "entertainment" to which we are voluntarily or involuntarily subjected, goes without saying. In other words, our desires in general, and our sexual desires in particular, are being consistently and grossly over-stimulated the whole time of set purpose, and the bland assumption is that if it all suddenly stopped, the country's entire economy would be in ruins. (Parenthetically, it might be quite feasible to organize our economy on a different basis — but that is not our concern here.) We all, young and old, have to live with this situation and, to put it mildly, it doesn't make self-restraint any easier. So before we start lecturing the young, we should realize this fact. In this game, the dice are loaded against us.

Still, we may manage to get through to them. After all, many young people are themselves against the establishment, and among other things they rebel against the sheer tawdriness of our lives. Their ideas may quite frequently be all wrong, and badly mixed up, but at least they sincerely yearn for something better, and in fact they are desperately even if often incoherently trying to bring about a better state of affairs. They are by no means lacking in idealism, and they have a keen eye for those who seek to exploit their idealism for dubious ends. We can latch on to them if we can only convince them that we are at least sincere.

Let us just take a cold, hard look at this question of premarital intercourse among the young. In the first place, it happens. And there are just two ways, in principle, by which it can cease to happen. Either young people can exercise self-restraint, or they can get married. A few do the former, and quite a lot do the latter. Now of course, very early marriages can turn out well. But the fact is that they quite often don't for obvious reasons. It is therefore not an entirely self-evident fact that early marriage, as such, is preferable to a little "experimentation."

It is, of course, very hard for parents to stand back and silently watch their own children embarking on a course which may seem to them, and indeed may actually be unwise. Some young people today are only prepared, and able, to learn by trial and error. They are unwilling to ask for advice, or even to accept it if given unasked. They should, however, be aware that there are serious dangers in experimentation, if too rashly undertaken, and the trouble is that, while parents may hold back with advice on restraint, there are others who are only too ready (out of misguided "idealism" or, frequently, because they find it highly profitable) to offer "permissive" advice without drawing attention to the risks. It is the duty of somebody, whether parents or teachers, to ensure that young people are aware of some of the less comfortable "facts of life" as well as those they want to know about. Venereal disease is rampant today, and on the increase. And it is by no means always the "minor inconvenience" it is made out to be in some quarters. It can still cause sterility, serious illness, or even death. That "the pill" is not, and is not meant to be, any protection against V.D. would seem obvious, but many girls seem unaware of this — till it is too late. Nor is "the pill" itself as harmless as all that. It can have unpleasant and sometimes quite serious side-effects, and one recent (probably conservative) estimate is that 25% of the women who use it ought not to do so, on medical grounds. Even common sense might suggest that prolonged chemical interference with hormone functioning could cause trouble. These are just some of the more obvious physical dangers. There are plenty of emotional problems and dangers, too. To take just one example: genuine misunderstandings can arise because teen-age lads want, and expect, to go "all the way" whereas often the girls only want to flirt. This situation is by no means uncommon: at best it is embarrassing, and at worst it can lead to very ugly incidents.

The way of self-restraint is not necessarily an easy one for all to follow and, under present conditions especially, it is almost more than we can reasonably expect. And it too can be undertaken for the wrong reasons, and in the wrong way. The English public school system was based on the segregation of the sexes and an ideal of sexual restraint, and to a certain extent it worked. It produced the predictable crop of homosexuals as well as quite a few inhibited young men, but it inculcated a genuine respect for women, which was not always quite as ludicrous as some would have us believe. On balance, it may have done more good than harm, from the sexual point of view, to the majority of those who were subjected to it. But it was based on an over-simplified idea. Life is more subtle than Arnold of Rugby allowed for (even if we overlook the "class" aspect of the whole thing). And yet, the best products of this system of education are in many respects admirable. They have a deep sense of self-discipline and responsibility, qualities in rather short supply today.

Of course, many of the young people of today actually have such a sense, quite strongly in some ways. They do feel responsible — they feel deeply "committed" — about apartheid or other social questions. And even the hairiest types quite often endure surprising hardships in the way of sleeping rough and the like, with a kind of self-discipline which may appear strangely ill-directed but is nevertheless there.
Sex, Religion, and Anti-Religion

The present age has been justly called the Post-Christian Age. Traditional Christian teachings are crumbling everywhere. It is not, perhaps, very difficult to find arguments in support of the view that this is a good thing, or that it is a bad thing. It largely depends on what we want to put in place of the dear departed. But in any case, one can scarcely avoid feeling a pang of sympathy for the Christians, especially perhaps the Christian clergy. Most Christian ministers of all denominations are, after all, decent, upright, hard-working and conscientious men who are desperately striving to do a good job and at least save something worth-while from the wreckage. They are usually desperately under-paid, they preach to their dwindling flock to the best of their ability, and they are stuck with an impossible situation. They may often be ignorant and sometimes bigoted, but they find themselves mocked by those who are often enough equally ignorant and bigoted, and whose sole aim is frequently to replace their creed, however inadequate, by something ever more negative and destructive. If the Church, even in its present enfeebled state, were to disappear totally from the scene, the loss, despite all doctrinal inadequacies and absurdities, would certainly be greater than any conceivable gain. It is not quite true that any religion is better than no religion, for some forms of religion (including some Christian sects) are unbelievably awful. But the best, or even the second-best, of Christianity is assuredly a lot better than most of the purely secular substitutes for it. This, as Buddhists, we should be freely prepared to admit, without thereby in the least falling into the trap of saying, "Well, it's all the same thing really," when it quite obviously isn't. The basic Christian attitude to sex is well enough known, and has been briefly outlined above. It can assume thoroughly unhealthy forms, but in its more moderate aspects it can perhaps still serve as a fairly useful basis for decent behavior. At least it does provide some reasons which a good many people can accept as a basis for morality.

Now of course one can have morals without religion. It is not too difficult to produce purely social reasons for a lot of moral conduct, sexual or otherwise, and the best of the anti-religious propagandists today are at pains to do this. But some others do not. Their policy is simply to controvert anything and everything the Churches teach and stand it on its head. Sensuality and aggression, it is argued, are basic drives in man which it is dangerous to dam up and which should, accordingly, be allowed free play. In the case of aggression, the fallacy is so obvious that there are few who would literally subscribe to this, though some societies in practice seem to allow it plenty of scope. But in the case of sex, complete permissiveness really is openly preached in some quarters, and in fact a Swedish doctor has even announced that he wants to organize a corps of volunteers to provide everybody with sexual intercourse. This would apparently make everybody happy and the millennium would have arrived.
What Sex is Really All About

The sexual drive is, in most circumstances, just about the strongest urge there is in man and in the other animals. This is so whether we think (with some) that it was implanted in us by God or (with others) by the devil. It can be denied all direct expression, quite obviously, and whether this is or is not a good thing to do depends very much indeed on how — and why — this is done. When we come to consider sex and religion, we find that in fact this is often done, in the Buddhist Sangha and the Roman Catholic Church, to take the two most obvious examples. The ostensible reasons for such a course in these two bodies may be quite different, but it is surely not without significance that they both — and some others — consider it important to even attempt such a seemingly unnatural exercise. But there is no doubt that a good deal of the enormous respect shown to members of both communities stems directly from the knowledge of their celibate way of life. In some parts or the world, indeed, such men are regarded as either supermen or hypocrites, since no normal man could be expected to endure such a life. And of course both communities do include quite a few hypocrites and, probably, a few supermen.

For the vast majority or people, of course, there is no question of their attempting such a thing except perhaps, for relatively short periods. The lady who once asked in a class, "If everybody became a bhikkhu, what would happen to the world?" could safely be told not to worry.

The biological function of sex is obvious and requires no discussion here. But the interesting thing for us to note is how sex — like everything else — is a purely impersonal force. We tend to think of it in intensely personal terms, but in actual fact it is a force that just flows through us and uses our most wonderful and inspiring emotions for its own ends, which are totally concerned with the continuance of the race as a whole. The idea that it is just a private and wonderful thing between you and me is merely a part of our general illusion. Altogether, it is a prolific breeder of illusions. It can lead a man to think he has found the most wonderful woman in the whole world while everybody else is thinking, "What on earth can he possibly see in her?"

To the Buddhist, of course, sex is an expression — perhaps the chief expression — of that tanha or craving which brings dukkha in its train. It is therefore quite logical that we should seek to bring it under control. In a sense, that is all there is to the whole question. The aim of the true Buddhist is to bring about the cessation of craving, and from the individual point of view there is no other reason for sexual restraint than this. But from the broader ethical point of view there are, of course, other reasons which are no less important: if we behave recklessly and irresponsibly in sexual matters, we can cause untold harm to others; we can trifle with other people's emotions in a quite devilish way, bring unwanted children into the world, and so on and so forth. But none of these things would, of course, happen if we were able to control "our own" sexuality: "our own" in quotes because it is, as we have to remember, an impersonal force working through us, which is precisely why it is so difficult to control.

Total sexual control in the sense of perfect abstinence is quite obviously only for the few. It is perhaps one mistake of the Roman Catholic Church that it seeks to impose this discipline on too many people and too absolutely, as some Catholics now recognize. But in fact there will always be more than sufficient people willing and even determined to keep the human race going. Society's problem is rather to prevent the population explosion from getting completely out of hand — hence all the rather dreary arguments about "the pill."

Now there are various possible ways of controlling the sex-urge, some bad, some good. One is through fear: fear of hell fire, fear of venereal diseases, and so on. This is of course not a particularly good way, though it can certainly work, and is perhaps not always wholly harmful. After all, there can be various unfortunate consequences of intercourse and we should be aware of them. Even rebirth in some very unpleasant "hell-state" is not necessarily a complete fantasy. But of course an exaggerated fear of dreadful penalties for minor transgressions is not psychologically very helpful.

Another way is the way of repression. This is of course not a conscious process. It is a form of successful self deception, as a result of which we are not consciously aware of a thing. Repression, as ought to be better known than in fact seems to be the case, is by no means the same thing as voluntary "suppression." Very few people in actual fact have really "transcended sex" — though quite a lot of people seem to think they have. They never connect their resultant psychological troubles with the root-cause — repressed sex. But it should be firmly stated that, if we can do it, suppression with awareness does little or no harm.

A great deal of sexual energy can, of course, be canalized or "sublimated" into other things: art, music, intense religious faith, and so on. People — especially but by no means only women — are well known in all religious groups who have done this with more or less success. And those who have attained the meditative absorptions known as the jhanas may find therein an emotional outlet which is superior to that of sex. All this is fine, and very much to the good. But even these things do not in themselves entirely solve the problem, at least in the ultimate sense.
Sex and Rebirth

As long as there remains even a latent craving (including that for sex), according to the Buddhist teaching rebirth will inevitably continue to take place. For we are reborn, not merely because of the sexual drive which brought about the union of our parents, but also because of that same sexual drive in "ourselves," i.e., in that stream of consciousness which produces the changing series of patterns of our own particular individuality. And this is in fact the deeper significance of the Oedipus complex and other such matters unearthed by Freud. According to the "Tibetan Book of the Dead" those whose karmic predispositions destine them for rebirth in human form see couples in sexual union and experience desire for an attractive member of the opposite sex among those couples. By this desire they thereupon find themselves drawn into the womb and reborn — which was not at all what they wanted! The Theravada scriptures do not specifically describe the process, and it may be rather symbolic than literal, but psychologically at least something like this is what happens.

Quite obviously, the average Buddhist lay person has no present intention of living a celibate life — nor is this being urged here. But some knowledge of the nature of sexuality and of how it can be transcended can help him to solve his sexual problems, if only by helping him to avoid self-deception.
Sex and the Stages on the Path

According to the Buddhist teaching, the path to Full Enlightenment is marked by the successive attainment (and fruition) of four stages. The first of these is that of the stream-winner (sotapanna), who has broken three of the ten fetters and "glimpsed Nibbana." The essential factor here is the clear realization of impersonality (anatta). This realization at the same time eliminates skeptical doubt and belief in rites and rituals. In our present connection the important point to note is this: in the moment when anatta is realized — when, that is, the spurious nature of "self " is clearly seen — there can, obviously, be no desire of any sort for that "self" and its gratification.

True, this moment of deep insight passes, but its profound effects remain. Desires return, but their root has been irreparably broken, so that they must eventually die away. In fact at this stage — and this should be realized — sexual desire, and aggression, may still be quite strong in some types of character. But of course they will never result in the grosser forms of misconduct. However, craving (including the sexual drive) in its more latent form may still be powerful enough to lead to repeated rebirths — up to seven times, it is said.

The second stage, that of the once-returner (sakada-gamin), when "Nibbana has been glimpsed" a second time, results in a dramatic reduction of both these urges. Henceforth, they have at most only "nuisance-value," and rebirth in the world of sensuality cannot, it is said, take place more than once. Only at the third stage, that of the non-returner (anagamin), are they quite eliminated. Such a person has no more ties with this world, and so will not be reborn here, though he may be reborn in another sphere before attaining Full Enlightenment.

From all this the conclusion may be drawn that, while it is indeed possible to "transcend sexuality" in this life, it is not by any means as simple as some suppose, and many who think they have done it are deceiving themselves. Nevertheless there are many in the robe and out of it who, without having reached this stage, have in practice gained complete control of the sex impulse.
Gaining Control

How, then, can control of sexuality be achieved? A large measure of control can certainly be gained by concentrative (samatha) meditation practice, which stills the mind and can lead to the jhana states. In non-Buddhist systems this is probably the best that can be hoped for, and it is not to be despised. Indeed, many people, especially in the West (and probably also, e.g., in modern Japan), are so disturbed that some such calming practice is almost essential, perhaps for a very long time. But the other way, and the truly Buddhist way, which can lead right to the goal, is the way of Insight. The main scriptural basis for this is the Satipatthana Sutta.

The four foundations of mindfulness as set forth there are: mindfulness as to body, feelings, states of mind, and mind-contents. With reference to "states of mind," it is said: "He knows lustful mind and the mind that is free from lust. He knows how lust arises and how it ceases." This is not a manual of meditation, and it must suffice here just to indicate how by mindfulness one comes to discover how mental and physical phenomena arise and cease, and therefore, ultimately, how to bring about their cessation.

In this method, there is no forcing. Rigid suppression by an act of will is not required — and will not anyway lead to the goal. When even quite intractable-seeming personal problems are fully seen in their true nature, they will dissolve. It may take time and much perseverance, but it is a way of gentleness, which does no violence to one's nature. Eventually, if steadfastly pursued, it can lead to the solution of all our problems, not only those connected with sex. Slowly and patiently, we can disentangle by mindfulness all the guilt feelings and other complications which may have developed. And we come to realize, probably to our surprise, that the seeing is the cure, when the seeing is deep enough.
Conclusion

Sex is a powerful force in us all. In itself it is neither "good" nor "bad." But it can certainly create problems. And modern Western man is particularly prone to such problems, partly because of the sheer hectic pace and pressure of modern life, which exaggerates all our troubles, and more specifically because of his background. A puritanical Church tradition (one extreme) has now been vigorously challenged by a secular spirit of permissiveness (the other extreme). For many people it is not at all easy to find the middle way between these two extremes.

There is nothing "sinful" about sex. If we make mistakes, we should recognize them and try to avoid repeating them, but we should not develop guilt-complexes about them. Sexual lapses are not uniquely wicked, and in fact all but the grosser forms of sexual misconduct are probably on the whole less harmful socially than a lot of other things many people do. But it should be borne in mind that sex does usually involve at least one other person, and potentially the next generation. In this respect it is strictly incumbent on us at all times to act responsibly which means compassionately. Otherwise, the physical and emotional consequences for somebody may be very serious.

The ideal of sex only within monogamous marriage should be just as valid for Buddhists as for Christians. It should, at least, not be lightly departed from.

The way of mindfulness has been recommended above. Admittedly, not everybody is prepared to practice intensive mindfulness, whatever benefits may be urged for it. But even a moderate degree of habitual mindfulness can produce surprising results. If we learn, with detachment, to watch our desires at play, it is often quite astonishing how they seem to "drop away," almost of their own accord. To take as an example a related problem: many people, when they first come to Buddhism, are worried about the Fifth Precept, which deals with intoxication. "Can't I have a drink occasionally?" they ask, often rather anxiously. The answer is, of course: "It's up to you." But in this case, too, having tried a little mindfulness, they are frequently surprised to find that they want a drink less and less. As a matter of fact, the same principle applies here too. Having discovered the principle, applied it and found that it works, we can decide for ourselves how far we wish to take it. It will take us as far as we are prepared to go.

Some readers may wonder that there has been no mention of the word "love" in the foregoing. To have discussed this question would have led too far. So I will merely quote the following two phrases from a newspaper advice-column:

"I am in love" means "I want me to be happy"; "I love" means "I want to make you happy."

Buddhists might reflect, and even meditate, on these two statements — at various levels.

Golden Rule: Never let Passion override Compassion

2011-01-31T10:16:00.000-08:00

cant sleep,turn here and there,watching the video of her...over and over again..and over again...
make me smile again....she my angel no matter what
minutes ago she ask me to ask myself whether i still really like her or not...back then i wasn't that sure coz we just had a fight...my mind was so so blur.i really meant it.
after watching the video...i was damn sure i still love her....hurm...yeah damn sure...funny right?something u just need to experiment something,then the result will prove and decide for u.
like doing the chemistry lab back in high school where put litmus paper on alkali substances,it turn blur...put on acid it turn red(wahhh...see i still remember =D )
by the way i purposely record video of her just to look at it when i miss her~ =)

atleast i learn one thing....she care for me..she dun let me do this and that for a reason.and i also learn that im a bad liar,whatever i do i will ask her...haha and when she disapprove we started to argue, some people juz say "u stupid,why u go tell her?? "
i said "yah i memang stupid...i rela be stupid than lie to her,i dun wan tell to lie to her" =)

tittless

2011-01-28T13:35:00.000-08:00

tired,wear off,blurr and sleepy is word that can describe me that time,just came back from the batalion office after the duty work....this is the first time i go for duty and came back at 5am.never happen before,not to mention having TTS on the evening that should already suck 90% of my energy,ask the master what he did to us,haha the most embarrass part is i got a huge hole at my pant when doing back flip and what a stupid coincidence that my undie is bright red(given by someone),so everyone laugh at me,even the senior! and master! and shouted "gong xi fa cai arrh" "very ONG ahhh red color" i was like damn,shit....arrr so embarrassed man.

despite all this tiredness i still manage to pull myself together and stay awake(actually if i sleep then i will never been able to wake up,will be late for staff parade at 6am,now 547am,sleep for 15minutes is really no point) i wonder i get my energy from? Kyuubi? naaaah.....

hmmm.....ah ha,..is because tomorrow will be CNY holiday...yahoo(and who said positive thinking is no big deal),the best part is i get to see her,it seems ages we haven meet each other,like i always said...distant never put us apart,it only make me miss her and love her more,the worst part is we had a fight...hmmm i dont wan to blame anyone on this. Misunderstanding are always the fuel to most of the conflict.when that does,everything change...why do people kill people?because they cant control themselves...same does the a quarrel,words that hurt are throw out just meant to hurt each other...weird right?that is just human,emotionally motivated all the time.i dun wan to blame on anything or anyone because that will only become an excuses,i only want to blame myself...blame myself for being so pushy on just to know something that is not worth to be ask and make her think that u what u care is about the money, the bad part is nobody will believe if u said ur curiosity is very strong.coz it really make u look like u a stingy bastard,i really suck in doing sentences.one word,im a idiot.Maybe that is how engineer think,only calculated base one formulas and theory given,and again is just look like a pathetic excuse since u have no proof to make anyone believe u,is normal if people believe in what they think was right...hmmm.maybe is not as easy as i think to believe in others,unlike me who are easily fooled.
i must admit im stupid when i pause for a moment and think again,despite all that.....i know one thing,i still love her...no no no..is i always love her.
but really...quarrel is suck...but nobody can avoid it,is just like study suck,go school is sucks,go work is suck,homework is suck,mom's nagging is suck...but anyhow is still inevitable.is part of the cycles of life.although the harsh words in quarrel cant be trusted,but is still unforgettable.
i gtg to the guard mounting(refer google search)
im sorry.

i love u,

a little kindness,but big warmth

2011-01-17T01:09:00.001-08:00

sometime a little kindness can bring great impact to ur life....especially by ur love one
i always hungry....my tummy doesn't know how to full,after meal for few hour i will as hungry as a hungry ghost.despite being so far from her.and difficult for me to buy any food outside becoz of the strict rules..that doesn't stop her from showing her warmth. she asked one of my friend's alia who study at same uni with me to buy biscuit for me,hmm i dunno how she get to know alia,secret passage?? maybe...what an angel =),she just like an angel who help those hungry people at the roadside...hehe when i saw the buscuits, i so touch =)

OH hey! a charger.omg she even buy a charger...im speechless(my old charger spoilt ady) .just can't stop myself from saying "muuuuah thanks dear...thanks dear....love u..." ^^
maybe for anyone is just a biscuit,for me is totally different..it show how much ppl cares and love u..but at the same time i feel bad for troubles her to ask other people to buy.not to mention the money she had to spend despite the tight budget end of the month.

thank u dear..i love u~!! >,<
=)

2011 new year resolution

2011-01-05T05:12:00.000-08:00

this 2011...my new year resolution and wishes is
1)love her more,and more and more more more~ <3
2)be a better person,always lend a helping hand to those who in need,do more charity than the previous year
3)have more patient,use more brain rather than raise up my voice. Rationalize rather than using my stupid knuckle head
4)learn how to talk better,"pujuk" people...
5)save more money for the future "house ladder"..hehe
6)quarrel less with her,put more patient,give and take and learn how to calm down...i love her >,<
7)make her smile more often =)
8)fix my CGPA and improve my result.
9)be a better son
10)get to save some money to buy new gadget
11)talk less nuisance,work more....(this is hard)
12)be more mature

that is all for now.....there more ofcoz,but is already good enough if i can keep all the above....=) i will try my best

2010-10-20T00:54:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the exam, after all the sleepless night that I have spend….i still think that I have so much more that I need to learn, so much more that I don’t know, all the questions are still strangers to me, The taste of losing is my biggest fear, the taste that I never taste before….the fear of my scholarship, my hard work, my studies will be taken just keep pounding on me.
damn I don’t want lose to the war this time…..not this time… not in front of myself, not in front of her…
then I look at my dear’s photo on my phone when I woke up, I remember angelic her voices , what she always told me, to give me courage, to give me strength…..so vividly as if she was there whispering to me and holding my hand, she my angel…… damn I don’t want lose to the war this time…..not this time… not in front of myself, not in front of her…
I’m not ready to give up yet, what need to be done will be done…..what happen after that….i don’t care anymore….i already try the best I could before this. I always remember there is someone for me to lean on. Tq clara, i love u =)

2010-10-17T17:58:00.000-07:00

Monday morning....
not just any regular morning,
shine the shoe,iron the uniform,cut the hair,clean the room,tidy up the locker...
to prepare for the bloody monday..
everyone is nervous...
all sort of question asked..
would my shine enough?
my uniform got any crumple that i had missed?
did my room meet the spec?
hope my hair still short enough..
what will the "Demon" up to this time.....hmmm
he always got all sort of ideas...
forget that..
lets go baris....
stood still...waiting to be inspect..
person by person passed..
stages by stages passed...
not satisfy with the "mistake" he found i guess..
out of the blue...all the sudden..
another round of inspection...
search every pocket...
every possible place that we will hide something..
some lucky,some not...

the unlucky....
at the end of the day,
u get back the sim card that is cut into two pieces..
wrist watch into the river...
overweight or failed swimming test,
ID taken away...officially an illegal citizen..
and that all for today's dramas...
"if u mental break,u r not fit to be an military officer.."
that what we are always been taught...
and that is just how our life is..

thx God im safe this time...=)
my phone?my watch?
hide safe beneath my socks =D

2010-10-14T04:50:00.000-07:00

"no matter how brave the warrior,how tough or how strong he is, or how stupid he is when it come to love,he never express it out.ego?shy? only God knows He love her...more than anything.
when a warrior is pierce through the heart,the weakest point....so deep that if he pull it put....surely he will bleed to death,or he will never fight again.And only he know...how deep it pierce into the heart..."

each day i only pray....
just a small hope...
that is tomorrow's day
when i woke up...
im still with u,and u are with me....

each day i only hope that God give the strength and courage..
not for me but for her,to withstand my life,my attitude and everything else about me.
becoz all i need is u..
no more...no less...
i admit that im selfish...
i dun wan to walk the journey alone..
u MUST accompany me..*YES YOU la
im working hard to make sure that happen..
a journey without obstacles..
a fruit of sucess witout hardwork..
is a lies..
i believe we will clear the obstacles together..
two is better than one in this journey =)
and God is always with us..closer than u think..
no matter how ugly is the fight..
or how bad...
or what i have done..
i hope for ur forgiveness..
deep down..i still love u...
lets put down luggage that slow us down and move on..
lets clear the obtacle and move on..

it take more than just a courage to said it out...
take a deep breathe...with 100% of passion,100% of sincerity,100% bravery and 100% confident and 100% of love...here we go..
*sorry,not very good with math and who said we cant use proportional more than 100% =P

I LOVE U =)

so shall we continue the journey? =)

2010-10-08T09:19:00.000-07:00

first in my life...
first in my Uni...
the UPNM convo fest...
the first ever..
is going to be grand..
our aim...

The Malaysia book of record,
week long of training,anticipation..
scolding,pressuring,sweat,energy,time and effort
is all paid off.
everyone was panic..but we try our best..
and our officer was proud with us,
and here we are in the Malaysia book of record for the most participant in self defend martial art ever held in Malaysia,
no names were recorded..
but i know..u know...we are part of it,that is enough....to make us proud,
that is indeed the priceless reward for us all..
but we still hoping for any out the blues holidays somehow.
the hope is there,to spend more time together with our love one..=)

AlwaZ in my mind,
whether im swinging my leg,
make a punch or shout,
ur image just appear every time...
that happen when u love someone.
i love u....

ur past..
the good..the bad...
ur attitude...
good or bad..
funny or cute..
and the rest of everything..
bits by bits..
combine and that will become is u.

i always believe love is simple..
all i need is u..
coz when u love someone..that all u need to know..
and everything else will follow..
everything will finds its way..
like the tender sprout that can crack a granite..no matter how hard the granite could be..
for the sake of the water...it always find its way..
all i know is i love u..=)
forgiving and forgetting the past and the mistakes.Put down,let go and move on..
thats the reason Buddha is giving us the ability to forget...
that why HE leave us with the teaching of meditation..
that why HE leave us the teaching of loving kindness and forgiveness...

pray to God so HE lid us the path..
at least give us a nice weather...
lets us handle the bridge building^^

2010-09-28T04:35:00.000-07:00

(seed of love?have faith in it and it will grow stronger each day^^ )

如果你在乎~
时常第一句就会问对方吃了吗？睡得好吗？冲凉了吗？在做什么？这一类的问题
看起来很简单，很普通…
其实很重要的因为和他的健康息息相关…

如果你在乎~
在忙都好，你都会抽空陪对方..
短短的几分钟也无所谓..
他知道你忙..

如果你在乎~
不用对方开口叫你帮忙`你都会自动去帮..
因为对方是不会想去麻烦你的..
如果你在乎~
最好的东西你有的都会无条件地给了对方..
因为你知道对方比这任何东西更重要..

如果你在乎~
在忙都好都会想念着对方..
因为对方已是你心的一部分..

如果你在乎~
天气冷了，你盖少一点被都无所谓..
只要对方得到温缓..

如果你在乎~
你吃少一点，对方吃得饱就好…
以为你知道对方是大吃龟…
如果你在乎~
当那个被骂，被打，责怪的傻瓜，你都不介意..
好过两个都吵了起来..因为你知道发泄了心情会更好..

如果你在乎~
不管谁的错都好都要看开点，退一步或原谅对方..
因为不管怎样都好，她爱的人是你，你爱的人是她…
人往往会犯错..

如果你在乎~
你不只关心对方，也要关心对方里家人..
因为没有他们人就没有了你的爱人..

如果你在乎~
双方的学业就要好好的保持下去..
因为你的前途也她的前途，她的前途也使你的..
因为路途是两个人一起走的..

如果你在乎~
你会注重对方..
因为你疼一个人是不沾对方的便宜的..

如果你在乎~
就不要一有一点伤心事就告诉对方..
因为两个的心是往往是连接的，相通的..
有时候宁愿沉默寡言也不要让对方知道，不要他担心..
但是总是会给对方看穿..

如果你在乎~
你所付出的不一定要告诉对方
因为这并不重要，
重点是对方高兴就好…

如果你在乎~
看到对方有困难..
以为心里很想去帮却办不到..
自己自然而然也会感觉到痛苦..

如果你在乎~
一直重复那三句 “我爱你”给对方听，你都不会觉得厌腻
因为要让她时时刻刻知道你多么的爱对方..

只想对你说声 ……….. 我爱你~！

*请不要在乎我的华语，我知道很烂~ (>,<)

2010-09-22T00:57:00.000-07:00

omg....!!
its 615am(supposing wake up at 530am),i get an extra 45 minutes of sleep =D
im the last person to wake up from my bed.
just realize i din set my alarm =="..sengal~
grab my towel and go bath....
skip the morning prayer coz im non-Muslim…ish ish ish..
so I not that late after all…only the waking up part im late…
I’m glad I still manage curi masa text her a message =)
*studies in reader digest shows ur day will be brighter when u greed ur love one…so dun be stingy with the 1cent text ;)
basically I’m late but I’m not that late, dun understand? Nvm =P
head for mess to hav my breakfast..uhhh it was horrible…imagine a deep fry roti canai that is fry till cripsy and serve with overcooked salty curry, and ofcoz the hardboiled egg(never miss to serve us since I first enter this uni)
despite all the complains,….complain complain jugak…makan tetap makan…lapar wey and I skip this I gonna be very sleepy in class, is my energy for my whole day…satu lagi,its free =D
650am..my gosh~ everyone already gather in assembly point, that indicate that I’m late although 10minute more is the actual time for the assembly, “why everyone so semangat baris so early anyway?”…wear my beret and masuk baris…
Noticing my leader already staring at me…fuhh scary, and again I’m late but I’m not that late…so I’m safe hehe.
Skip the baris…is so boring ==”
But the uniform inspection part was horrible….as expected from kapt azwin,nasib baik my indentity x kne cabut like other…
.”kenape pendek ni?” ,then “pop” ,”kenape karat ne?” “pop” he cabut it and give it back to the owner, a identity disk take like weeks to make, must custom made, and is not cheap, pure cruelty kne cabut camtu jew…today’s could be worst if he is in bad mood..he is so “creative” though.
First class….fluid lab…had quite a great time doing the fluid experiment…but the lab report will gave u sleepless night to pass up on time. The report are so bloody long….O.O

Oh great…I forget to bring my pocket file….is in my room I think….ahhh Is so far from here, but the file contain almost everything I need class. like or not I had to go get it although I had to risk myself to go back(we not allowed to go back until 2pm after we leave the room),go for shortcut, cross the field, huhu save time but sacrifice my shinny shoe into the mud…sad not to mention I had to make a U turn because I forgot to take the key, the one and only key for our room, from omaq…okay now I regret we din duplicate the key…again sengal.
With the sweaty uniform (blame on my metabolism =P) I reach my room and grab the file and head back to class.

Next class….strength of material 1 class, the subject was tough…….i flung the test o..i get 9.5/20% ,not consider myself lucky but others are much much worst than me.I feel so left out,tertinggal,tercicir,tercirit,terberak(da lebeih2 ne) when I dun understand what my lecturer is mumbling about ,I ask my classmate ”maak aiii….soalan simple cam ni pown x tau kew?”, I dun mind that words as long I get to know the answers, as long as I get to learn =) . Hope is still there…there a plenty of time for me to catch up, is quite common for a slow learner like me. For the past few semester, normally I would do better on 2nd test , 1st test is disastrous.

(gambar curi2 tangkap,kantoi = mati )

He is lt kol khairul , the strength of material genius, a lecturer and senior rank officer. That mean no chit chat , no phone, no mp3 and only smile or laugh when he joke. Follow the advice and u will be safe =) he know very much of everything, but I manage to ask him a question that require him to refer to the reference book…bwahahaha very rare…evil me. But he still can solve it afterward. What a daring act coz usually if the question is consider “stupid question” then u will end up getting scold by him….i selalu kne gak huhu =( hey at least I get 80% of what he teach today…the rest 20% is self study in room =D .hmmm...."i miss her,i wonder what she is doing right now" suddenly i go day dream thinking of her...i syok sendiri again..hah
Uh… last but not least and plus tons of assignments and tutorials from him…thank u sir =)
No afternoon class for today,yahoo~ head mess for lunch..as expected, if u r late(class habis lambat),the lunch is sayur kuning,ayam hancur, air habis,nasi habis and buah lembik. Nvm….makan jugak sbb..perut da lapar kan.Dun waste the food.bersyukur la dgn apa yg ada..=)

The cloud is thundering outside as if he is laughing as us and said “u guys wont make it to ur room,u guys will be wet before u reach ur apartment..haha” =P, but I thought hmmm nvm….i will use this time to go trim my hair,

(outside barber shop)

although someone suggested me to cut my hair botak. Assume that is was just a joke =). under the heavy rain,I run to the barber shop….bagus la tu….today is Wednesday, only girls are allow to do haircut for today.3/4 of me already soaking wet in rain water. Walking under the rain lah….im already wet anyways.
On second thought, why I never bring umbrella to class, nah….is to sissy for us “askar”,as far as I remember we never use any umbrella in this uni, I would rather be wet than being laugh my counterpart…..

and here u go..a pair of soaking wet, dripping uniform hagging under the fan, hoping it would dry before tomorrow. =P
I would call it a day although the night is still waiting……Im not sure it was bad or not…but enough for me to blog it, worth enough for me to sacrifice my afternoon nap…^^
Time to go study…buckle up..XD

(my desk)

2010-09-20T04:22:00.000-07:00

i just dun like today.....
is the first day after week of meaningful days with u..
and suddenly all of that blissful moment..
seem to go away...for a vacation maybe..
im back to where i belong...separated from u..

i feel so weird today...it feels like something is missing...
but i dunno what it is...rase gelisah semacam..
"maybe i need time to tune myself of the sudden changes"...i asked myself
for what happen today...i dun like it dear..
i sorry for what i said...i dun mean it..really...
nobody understand me more than u....
and nobody would trust me more than u...
maybe we both tired,busy and for some other unknown reason...
like u said...why say sorry,is not a big deal..
trust me..for me..is big coz im hurting u..verbally..that y i dun like it..
i just hate that feeling of being the person that hurt u..
nevertheless...we are even right?
people should be forgiven if they admit the fault and apologize rite?

i miss u..
miss ur smile..
the way u stick out ur cute tongue..
ur laughter..
ur pinch..=P
when u do ur naughty face...
the way u walk...
ur scent..
and everything else about u..
that is a secret between u and me =)
and please dun forget i still owe u a short trip of "teman me to my blok"
please have faith in that day...=)
i have the faith...why not u? yes u la..dear ^^

trip down the memory lane~

2010-09-05T19:33:00.000-07:00

had a cup of milo..
do a simple warm up..
grab my running shoes....

and here i go on a "recon mission" to re-explore
my own village,the place i was born(ofcoz my mom gave birth to me on hospital) and grew up...
as i jog by...
bits by bits of old memory keep flashing back..
the memories with the rest of the fellow friend~

the place where i run freely..
step on the cow dung and skid,the next thing i know...im upside down,staring at the sky..haha
where we race from village head to village end..
with the bicycle of course..
without proper braking system...and forget the helmet,arm guard,knee guard blaa blaa blaa...that what i call "mat rempit" =D
on the green field...
kicking soccer ball with goal made of bamboo pole..
with cow and underage kids including my younger brothers as the audiences..
and who is going to get the ball when the ball landed beside the bull?? XD
eusene my 2nd brother,is always the best striker..and im the worst..haha
that is the time when we call for the half-time..and sipping the same dunno-what-brand soft drink....sharing is caring mah~ ^^
oh hey...
there is the furrow..
where we catch fishes and small shrimps..the catch was never fail us..
until i forget the time..
and remembered my mom come chasing....with the cane..ops =P
but now..is just another dry furrow with thick undergrowth..
not forgetting the majestic temple,still standing tall and steady till now..
beside being the spiritual and ritual place for all the villagers,its the best place to play hide and seek..hiding the among the Gods and Deities(in the shrine hall) were always the best hiding spot...maybe some help from THEM that hiding us from the seeker =)
i was a tarzan i think but im not alone,my friend all are tarzan,im among the best but my brother among the worst hehe...our village are bless with "generous" fruit trees(fruitful all year round),and all u need to do is climb and pluck it...the fruits was our lunch sometimes.what a healthy diet..haha
oh i reach my home already..time for to go shower ;)

i had a the bestest best childhood in this beloved village...but as we grew up,one by one is leaving the village to pursuit the dream,to search for a better life or to explore the rest of the outside world.But i had made a promise that i will be back no matter how far i go..i miss my friends,the memories...even the salmon return to their birthplace to lay their egg and die after they had travel half way across the globe,but don't get me wrong...i don't lay egg or gave birth okay. =)