MUSINGS

Raayyeerr!! With Brian Williams

2013-03-27T06:32:00.000-07:00

Variety clip show The Soup on the E! network is a weekly compilation of humorous footage that the ever-expanding world of cable and network television has to offer.

One of host Joel McHale's favorite segments over the last year or so has featured NBC's lead news anchor, in which the narration of insignificant stories is clearly sarcastic in tone - called Raayyeerr!! With Brian Williams since its inception.

He even made a guest appearance on the show in early February to play along with the running joke. Long before that however, The Soup's team of video editors watched every Nightly News and Rock Center intently in order to find the next comedic gem they could use.

Examples include, but are not limited to-

1. Referring to Cinnabon's experimental plan to start selling pizza, Williams said- "Let's hope this goes nationwide. As many of us believe the only problem with Cinnabon is it's lack of pizza." (Watch it here)

2. Mocking the iPhone ads that demonstrated Siri, Williams humorously summarizes the one starring Zooey Deschanel.

"As you watch them, remember the nation who won World War II," he said. "...exhausted by the prospect of changing out of her pajamas, (Deschanel) asks for the weather while standing next to a window - shares her desire for tomato soup and declares the day a total loss." (video lacks quality)

What I've uploaded below could potentially be the next one, followed by one of the latest clips to be utilized in a recent episode of The Soup (respectively).

In the first clip, Williams reports on an 'art exhibit' in New York City featuring Oscar-winning actress Tilda Swinton sleeping in a glass box. "It's called The Maybe," he said. "A lot of folks thought - 'well, maybe it's art'. A woman sound asleep for hours at a time inside a box."

The second wonders if a Canadian man, who is obsessed with trains and collectible action figures has much of a life...

Do you sense the sarcasm too?

By Ryan Robertson (Twitter Handle- @RoboRyno)

2013 Oscars: What Else Is On?

2013-02-24T17:55:00.000-08:00

Hollywood’s elite will be congregating at the Dolby Theatre (formerly the Kodak) on Sunday, Feb. 24 to collectively pat themselves on the back once again. The last awards show of the season is scheduled to commence at 8:30 P.M. EST on ABC, with over four hours of red carpet coverage prior to the big event. So tune in early if celebrity fashion critiques are of interest to you.

Hosting this year for the first (and probably last) time is Seth McFarlane, best known for developing and lending his voice(s) to three crass animated comedies on FOX. Family Guy is the longest running among them, officially premiering in 1999 and returning in 2004 after a two-year hiatus. Going on to become one of the highest paid people in the television industry afforded him the opportunity to release a sophomoric movie into theaters last summer called Ted, which earned him a nomination in the ‘Best Original Song’ category.

Billy Crystal, who returned to host for the ninth time last year as a safe bet has reportedly been giving the novice some advice on how to start and sustain the show. McFarlane has said however that he doesn’t want to let his fan base down.

Among the many other storylines, one has to wonder what film stands the best chance of winning, among the nine that have been nominated for best motion picture. A category that was expanded in 2009 in a brazen attempt to attract more viewers and increase broad-based appeal, which begs the question – how culturally relevant are the Oscars really?

Back in 2005, comedian Chris Rock ruffled a few feathers as the host by joking about his own and America’s willful ignorance in general. At one point in the telecast, Rock was rolled a clip featuring several off-the-cuff interviews with movie-goers outside of Los Angeles.

Simply asking which nominated movie they had enjoyed the most, not even one responded that they had seen one of them yet. One couple excitedly proclaimed that White Chicks, a slapstick comedy starring the Wayans brothers was their favorite movie of the year. Rock will be a presenter on Sunday, the first time he has been invited back since.

This humorous anecdote is a representation of just how pretentious and out of touch Hollywood can be. They’ve prided themselves on their ‘trend-setting’ progressive agenda, delusions of grandeur, and hostility towards conservatives for decades. This is especially evident in the documentary category, where 2016 Obama’s America (one of the most successful of all time) has been shut out from contention.

Then there was the palpable hypocrisy of their gun control crusade more recently. The Business and Media Institute conducted a study last month that found 65 violent scenes and 185 victims in the top-5 movies at the time.

Considering all of this and more, will you still watch the 4 hour-long flattery fest? If only the Razzies were televised, a ‘celebration’ of the worst movies Hollywood churned out last year. That might be more fun to watch.

In Obama's America, It Pays To Be On Welfare

2013-02-24T17:41:00.000-08:00

According to a recent Heritage Foundation study titled The Unfinished Work of Welfare Reform, there are at least 11 states that now have more people on welfare than they do gainfully employed. Over 100 million total, which is just over a third of the entire population.

Their research revealed that the average household below the poverty line has received $168 per day of financial assistance from the government, which is a combination of unemployment, food stamps, Medicaid and other benefits. This is based on the Senate Budget Committee's own published statistics from the 2011 fiscal year.

Adding insult to injury, the median household income is just over $50,000, averaging out to just over $137 per day. That means welfare recipients are being paid the equivalent of $30 per hour over the course of a 40-hour 'work' week, and the average job only pays $25 an hour.

More than 100 million Americans received aid from at least one of the nearly 80 federal welfare programs in 2011, at a total cost of $717 billion. When state programs were taken into account, the figure soared above $1 trillion, making it the largest item in the federal budget.

That's only the tip of the iceberg however, as Robert Rector and Jennifer Marshall pointed out in their report:

Since the beginning of the War on Poverty in the mid-1960s, government has spent $19.8 trillion (in inflation-adjusted 2011 dollars) on means-tested welfare. By comparison, the combined cost of all the wars in American history — from the Revolutionary War through the current war in Afghanistan — has been $6.98 trillion (in 2011 dollars). The War on Poverty has thus cost three times as much as all of our real wars combined.

Meaningful reform was passed back in 1996, increasing self sufficiency levels, but it has since been gutted by the Obama administration. With sensitive issues like sequestration and amnesty for illegals being debated on the congressional floor, one has to wonder if the subject of welfare reform has been seriously considered for its overwhelming relevance to both.

Media Continues to Ignore Mounting Evidence of Voter Fraud

2012-11-13T11:41:00.002-08:00

With plenty of anecdotal evidence to back up his claims, WorldNetDaily's Editor-in-Chief Joseph Farah is convinced that something shady and underhanded contributed to the outcome of the election last week. Prefacing his article with a vow of impartiality, Farah presented information from all of the reliable sources he came across.

It should be noted that none of these reports originated from the liberal-leaning broadcast media however, who have openly celebrated Obama's "decisive victory" -- as if they don't care how it could've happened. They are just glad that it did.

If anyone has a balanced approach to the realities of political life in America, it’s me. I’ve looked at life from both sides. I know the arguments of the other side and can still spout them before most of today’s practitioners of so-called 'progressive' thought can. I also know that the reigning ethos of this movement represented so ably today by Obama is this... 'by any means necessary'... What it means, in short, is that the ends justify the means.

Voter turnout was thought to have been considerably down this year, but some counties in key swing states like Colorado, Florida, Pennsylvania and Ohio recorded numbers that far exceeded what was expected. In St. Lucie County of Florida for instance, there was a 141 percent turnout. That means almost 72,000 provisional ballots were cast by unregistered or ineligible voters. Coincidentally, this county included Rep. Allen West's district as well -- where a recount has been conducted.

There were many more statistical anomalies in urban areas, where the president won nearly 100 percent of the vote or more in some cases. Obama miraculously won every single vote in all 21 districts of Cleveland, and somehow came away with 108 percent of registered voters in Wood County nearby.

The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that in the city of Philadelphia, Gov. Romney did not garner a single vote from its 59 voting divisions. Obama also received more than 99% of the vote in more than 100 precincts in Cuyahoga County, Ohio on election day. In fact, there were a substantial number of precincts where Romney got exactly zero votes. So how in the world did this happen? Third world dictators don’t even get 99% of the vote.

The Election Protection Coalition fielded over 70,000 complaint calls last Tuesday alone, but little could be done to fix the litany of problems across the country. Touch screens weren't calibrated correctly, Obama banners were spotted on the walls of polling places, and instances of voter intimidation was reported. While volunteers from the Tea-Party backed True the Vote group were illegally banned for quite some time in Ohio, the Black Panthers were seemingly allowed to intimidate voters at the polls in Pennsylvania.

For all the concerns voiced by the Left and echoed in the media pre-election about potential voter intimidation, voter suppression and disenfranchisement, it is unfortunate that no one in the traditional press has cared enough to address voting problems that plagued the military vote. A plane full of their absentee ballots crashed weeks before the election, and repeated requests to rectify problems in getting ballots to and from troops stations overseas were ignored by Attorney General Eric Holder.

President Obama won election handily and its very unlikely that real instances of voter fraud and voting irregularities tipped the balance, but with that being said, the complacency of the media in this regard is troubling to say the least. The watchdog of government corruption continues to represent itself as more of a lapdog, which is a disservice to every American who legitimately cast a ballot, not to mention America's heroes in uniform who were unable to do so.

Making A Case For Conservatism

2012-05-08T23:05:00.001-07:00

Mr. Cool

Mr. Competent

More than any other demographic, the last election was decided by the youth. With the mainstream media on his side, Obama secured the vast majority of voters under thirty. After successfully pandering his way to the oval office with an onslaught of viral marketing, he's raised more than enough money to do the same thing again. The same enthusiasm that existed back then will be harder to manufacture this time around, but that doesn't change the distinct advantage the incumbent has over any candidate who dares to face him this Fall. A sizable portion of the population is still taken by his effortless charisma. The challenge we face as conservative patriots is to expose the glaring faults of this administration before it's too late.

The unemployment rate has steadily risen over the last three and a half years, especially for twenty-somethings. What would appear to be the most impressionable voting bloc is in dire need of real hope and change, not just more empty campaign promises. Fifty-seven percent of them are either unemployed or underemployed. Eighty-five percent of the most recent group of college graduates are moving back in with their parents. The statistics are readily accessible, but the criticism isn't as prevalent as it should be. The media spin blames Bush for starting the recession. Obama was just dealt a bad hand they say, making no mention of what has prolonged the stagnation.

The constant indoctrination of radio, television and film has resulted in millions more democrats than there should be. Minorities in urban environments are almost required to vote this way. They'll be shunned by friends and family for having a different opinion. Overly altruistic blue state politicians, also known as bleeding heart liberals, love to say that they champion the cause of the poor. Excuse the expression, but there's no such thing as a free lunch. Safety nets exist for a reason, but we must help these people help themselves in the long run.

Consider the following...

The ten poorest cities in America have something in common, they've tended to vote democratically in every single local election for decades. The statistics speak for themselves.

City, State Below Poverty Level Last Republican Mayor
1. Detroit, MI	32.5% 1951
2. Buffalo, NY	29.9% 1954
3. Cincinnati, OH	27.8% 1984
4. Cleveland, OH	27.0% 1989
5. Miami, FL	26.9% Never
6. St. Louis, MO	26.8% 1949
7. El Paso, TX	26.4% Never
8. Milwaukee, WI	26.2% 1908
9. Philadelphia, PA	25.1% 1952
10. Newark, NJ	24.2% 1907

Favorite Political Quotations

2012-05-08T19:35:00.004-07:00

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-Benjamin Franklin

"The two enemies of the people are criminals and government,so let us tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first."

-Thomas Jefferson

"You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot build character and courage by taking away people's initiative and independence. You cannot help people permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves."

-Abraham Lincoln

"My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

-John F. Kennedy

Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same.

-Ronald Reagan

Wealth is the product of man's capacity to think.

-Ayn Rand

If I wanted America to fail... I would never teach children that the free market is the only force in human history to uplift the poor, establish the middle class, and create lasting prosperity.

Instead, I’d demonize prosperity itself so they will not miss what they will never have. If I wanted America to fail... I suppose I wouldn't change a thing.
-Ryan Houck

What a bunch of garbage, liberal democrats and conservative republicans. It's all there to control you, two sides of the same coin! Two management teams, bidding for control of the CEO job of Slavery Incorporated! The truth is out there in front of you, but they lay out this buffet of lies. I'm sick of it, and I'm not gonna take a bite out of it! Do ya got me? Resistance is not futile, we're gonna win this thing, humankind is too good, we're not a bunch of underachievers, we're gonna stand up and we're gonna be human beings! We're gonna get fired up about the real things, the things that matter like creativity and the dynamic human spirit that refuses to submit!
-Alex Jones

God Bless America

2012-04-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

As citizens of the United States, we need to be reminded just how lucky we are compared to the rest of the world. It may seem like our elected officials are leading us down a path of accelerated entropy, but there is much to be thankful for. I'm not advocating an 'ignorance is bliss' lifestyle, but perspective is one of the key components of contentment.

Despite the recession, the American Dream is still alive and well. At least that's what over a million immigrants seem to think each year, even after going through the rigorous process that precedes legal citizenship . Millions more around the globe can only dream they had the same freedoms we take for granted.

In the HBO documentary Citizen USA, filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi (Nancy's daughter) travels to all fifty states in order to gain some insight into this ongoing phenomenon. We're initially introduced to her Dutch-born husband, who didn't want to be a foreigner in his own family when their son was born. After passing the civics test, he takes an oath to prove his loyalty with hundreds of others. Claiming to be transformed afterwards, Pelosi decides to embark on a journey to see why so many people are willing to start over here.

Through short interviews with brand new citizens, viewers are reminded what patriotism is all about. Coincidentally, the film was released in the first week of July last year. This overt nationalism exists for good reason however, having more to do with relief than pride. There is more social mobility, cultural diversity, gender equality, and religious tolerance here than anywhere else.

Naturalized teenage girls from China spoke of their ability to surf the web freely. Men from Jordan were appreciative of the more "hands off" approach the police take here in comparison to what they're used to. A gentleman from Afghanistan enjoyed holding his girlfriend's hand in public without being scrutinized by onlookers. A Korean woman was thankful for the loans she received, and another woman from Thailand was impressed with the responsiveness of 911 emergency personnel. Others mentioned the importance of their newly found freedom of choice, and didn't quite understand what all the constant complaining is about.

In what is essentially a fluff piece, there are brief moments that make it worth watching. Former secretaries of state Madeleine Albright and Henry Kissinger discuss their meteoric rise through the political ranks, despite their emigration from Europe. Where else but America could this be possible?

And May God Continue To Bless It!

Failures of the Obama Administration

2012-04-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

Over five trillion dollars and counting, that’s how much debt the federal government has racked up since Jan. 20, 2009. More than any other administration in history, and the term isn’t over yet. Obama's predecessor increased the deficit by $4.89 trillion, but that was spread out over an eight year span to be fair. Bush continues to be blamed for the dire economic situation that persists, while multiple policies and investments have failed to make a positive impact.

Despite everything, the overly sympathetic media wants everyone to give the first black president the benefit of the doubt. It seems as if they’ve gone out of their way to ignore any mistakes and criticize all detractors in hypocritical fashion. Cries of racism are commonplace when ideological arguments break down. We're being lied to, but the truth is right in front of us.

The junior senator from Illinois who campaigned in fifty-seven states on a platform of ‘hope’ and ‘change’ appears to have no intention of trying to reverse the downward spiral. His outlandish budget proposal was completely dismissed by the House of Representatives. Four hundred-fourteen politicians were in agreement for once, but there was hardly a mention of it in the news. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) on the other hand was demonized for suggesting necessary cuts to entitlement programs. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

The high unemployment rate, rising gas prices, widespread foreclosures, and the prevalence of food stamp reliance are the result of ill-advised stimulus packages, bailouts, and a foreign policy that continues to police the world without assistance. Funding unsuccessful solar energy companies like Solyndra was a drop in the bucket by comparison. What should've been a disastrous blow wasn't much of an embarrassment at all. The spotlight shined brighter on the slip-ups of GOP candidates instead.

If the countless debates were any indication, socialized medicine could prove to be one of the most contentious issues of the Fall. Supporters fought tooth and nail to pass the legislation. They were ultimately successful, but the most oppressive aspects of the bill won't go into effect until after the election. A massive bureaucracy will then be put in charge of health care. Individual liberties may then be increasingly put at risk, and the Constitution will be interpreted more freely (i.e. ignored) than ever before. Time Magazine seems to think it's a dated document with no modern relevance anyway.

In a conversation with outgoing Russian president Dmitry Medvedev, Obama was overheard saying that he would have “more flexibility after the election in November.” Context has since been provided, but the statement remains ominous. The risk of offending over half of the voting population won’t be a problem anymore. An incumbent victory could result in a full-fledged socialist assault on capitalistic enterprises.

The long road to recovery could finally begin with a change in leadership, but the mainstream media won't admit to that. No matter what happens, they'll stand by their man. They've proven just how deep their allegiance lies.

Movie Review

2011-11-16T17:43:00.001-08:00

THE IMMORTALS

I know what you're thinking... why would I want to see a movie that looks like a remake of 300? That's how it was marketed to the masses, but I'm here to tell you that it was an unique masterpiece to behold. The visual spectacle more than made up for any holes in the script. Every frame is a work of artistic brilliance that conveys an immaculate attention to detail. The trailer doesn't even begin to do the film justice.

Director Tarsem Singh has a visual style that is all his own. The world was introduced to his awe-inspiring creativity over a decade ago in The Cell, where Jennifer Lopez was allowed to enter into the ornate dreams of a sadistic serial killer. Despite the rare combination of critical and box office success, Tarsem mysteriously disappeared from the public eye for years. In actuality, he was tirelessly working on a passion project. One that spanned the globe, filming on location in seventeen different countries without financial backing.

The Fall was initially screened to festival audiences in 2006, but two more years past before a studio bought the rights to distribute it to select cities. Those lucky enough to see it were treated to extraordinary visuals and an existential storyline that resulted in a blissful experience. The cinematography was unlike anything I'd ever seen.

Fast forward another three years, and I'd almost forgotten about him all over again. With only two movies to his credit, he wasn't necessarily established. When I saw his name attached to The Immortals though, I suddenly realized the unlimited potential this new movie must possess.
There was hardly a dull moment throughout its seventy minute running time. The stylized gore and violence was impeccably shot with plenty of dazzling slow motion. The elaborate costume design was remarkable, as it was in his previous work.

You may still think you've seen it all before, but this isn't another rehash of Greek mythology. While it is comparable to what Zack Snyder accomplished five years prior, this movie has its own merits that sets it apart in the end. There was some homo-eroticism, but that takes nothing away from overall enjoyment. I didn't understand that complaint about 300. Stephen Dorff seemed a little too pleased with his physique however. Despite being shirtless most of the time too, Mickey Rourke was an exceptional antagonist. Henry Caville's passable performance was overshadowed by the visuals to be honest.

Suffice it to say, I was highly impressed with what I saw. So much so that I look forward to seeing it again in the near future. Luckily, Tarsem fans only have to wait a few more months until his next film is released. Mirror, Mirror is an epic retelling of the Snow White story. The way the Grimm Brothers intended for it to be told. Until then... SEE IMMORTALS!

Ron Paul For President

2011-11-13T17:40:00.001-08:00

Less than one year from now, voting Americans will be faced with an important choice. The future of the nation is dependent upon it. Four more years of the current administration could be catastrophic, and I say that with all sincerity. One way or another, the federal government has to be restrained. The freedoms and prosperity we've grown accustomed to could permanently become a thing of the past if we don't take a stand against increasing debt and quasi-socialism.

Competent leadership is needed now more than ever, but we have to choose the alternative wisely. We can't base our affinity for any one candidate on charisma alone. Ethics and consistency are infinitely more important at this juncture, but the liberal media refuses to promote such things for some reason. The status quo is fine by them, as long as there's someone in the White House who shares the same opinions on social issues.

Ron Paul has long been considered a quirky politician on the fringe, but his staunch views on life and liberty have never changed. While other candidates are desperately pandering for votes, he remains steadfast. Sadly, this makes him unelectable. The media sees no reason to give him any real credibility, despite his growing popularity.

Controversial views aside, Ron Paul knows how to save our country from accelerated entropy more than anyone else running. Left unchecked, the bloated bureaucracy will continue to grow like a virus. Forty cents of every dollar will continue to be borrowed from communist nations like China. The welfare state's stranglehold on an already stagnant economy could result in a full blown depression, especially with a foreign policy that spreads our military too thin. His plan could potentially reverse this downward spiral within a few years, but real change is needed sooner rather than later.

Independent thinkers should be able to comprehend why this man deserves a chance to lead us out of this rut. He pledged to take no more than $39,366 per year in order to match the median income of the working population. His grassroots campaign has not accepted donations from corporations like the others. Unlike most politicians, he cannot be bought.

If you're still unsure about him, consider the following...

Movie Review

2011-06-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

The Tree of Life

Articulating a description of Terrence Malick's signature style of film making is a not an easy task. While I'm cultured enough to see the beauty of his artistic expression, initial viewings can be a chore to sit through.

The Thin Red Line was an underwhelming experience that confused the hell out of me over a decade ago. I struggled to figure out what exactly the plot was throughout its three-hour running time. To be honest, I kind of gave up on it half-way through. The same thing occurred with the release of The New World in 2005, which I thought was laughably bad at the time.

A funny thing happened last year in a film studies course last year though. I changed my mind. My professor screened The Thin Red Line in class, giving it a glowing recommendation beforehand. We had lengthy discussions about it, and I had to write a four page paper. When it was all said and done, I recognized a brilliance that I didn't notice before. The nature cinematography, introspective characters, and non-linear storyline were the key components that I highlighted in my paper.

The New World ain't so bad either...

Now back to the present, where we must consider the winner of the prestigious Palme d'Or Award at the Cannes Film Festival. While I knew what to expect, nothing could prepare me for what I saw. I thought I was witnessing a transcendent masterpiece at first, but I grew impatient with the awkward silences and slow progression.

Despite the lack of dialogue, Brad Pitt and Jessica Chastain are at the top of their game. Similar to predecessors,narration was prevalent. As much as it pains me to say this, Sean Penn was underutilized. The kids were genuine enough to remind me of my own childhood. They are an rambunctious bunch who annoy their disciplinarian father. Chastain is a sweet and angelic mother who represents grace. A terrible tragedy occurs, affecting the tone of the entire movie. That's a basic synopsis, which takes over two and a half hours to convey in fragmented fashion. Suffice it to say, I got a little bored with it.

The movie was beautifully shot however, so I can't in good conscience give it an overly negative review. If anyone deserves credit for this, it's Emmanuel Lubezki whose previous work includes Children of Men and Sleepy Hollow. There was also a sequence of eye-popping images that seemed to represent the size and scope of our world in comparison to the universe. This put everything into perspective, making me feel incredibly small in the process. The legendary Douglas Trumbull was responsible for this, who oversaw the visual effects for 2001: A Space Odyssey, Blade Runner, and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

This is art house cinema at its finest, but I feel like I need to see it again to truly appreciate it. My rating may improve upon subsequent viewings, but it wasn't something I thoroughly enjoyed the first time. It's certainly not for mainstream audiences.

Rating = 6 out of 10

AUBURN TIGERS: BCS CHAMPIONS

2011-01-20T11:48:00.000-08:00

No one thought Auburn could do it. All the odds were against them, but they got the last laugh in the end. Not only did they find a way to navigate through the toughest division/conference in college football unscathed, but THE scandal never seemed to affect morale. The road to the highest level of success was an incredibly bumpy one, suspenseful comebacks became a common occurrence. Auburn developed its own swagger as the season progressed. It was more apparent in the second half, when both sides of the ball played like losing was never an option. They would go on to defeat five ranked teams, six if you count the SEC Championship.

Gus Malzahn's offense is a clearly dynamic one, but the personnel couldn't have been more adept at turning his brilliant schemes into reality. A foundation of talent and experience was already there last season, so the addition of Cam Newton was clearly the catalyst of the turn around. His impressive feats of athleticism started against Arkansas State, but several more weeks passed before everyone else noticed. He didn't exactly come out of nowhere anyway. Tim Tebow's former backup was always destined for great things, but nothing seemed to go according to plan.

CAM TRUCKS A VOL

Once his Heisman campaign became a reality, the media started to question why Auburn was lucky enough to sign this immensely talented individual in the first place. After winning a championship at Blinn Junior College, Newton promptly started proving himself to be one of the most dominant quarterbacks in the SEC. The only problem was that Mississippi State was practically guaranteed his signature over a year earlier. Dan Mullen reportedly made a pact with him when they were both leaving Gainesville. As we all know, Cam's father must have seen an opportunity to capitalize on the situation. Thorough investigations turned up little evidence that would result in any lasting ramifications. His full reinstatement came one short day after being ruled ineligible. Case closed.

When the preseason rankings were released last summer, Auburn was relegated to #23 in the nation. Their rise to national prominence seemed to have started in the second half of the Clemson game. One would think that it must've been the stressful game in Starkville on Thursday night , but they never trailed. Auburn came out flat against a non-conference opponent, trailing by two touchdowns at half-time. A furious comeback took place, but overtime was necessary to decide the final outcome. Lady luck graciously appeared when a Clemson receiver failed to hold to the ball in the endzone. A bizarre illegal snap penalty led to a missed field goal. Auburn could collectively breath a sigh of relief, but this was only the beginning. A sign of what was to come.

South Carolina visited the Plains the following week. In another nail-biter, Auburn had to overcome a double-digit deficit against a higher-ranked opponent. The team capable of minimizing its own mistakes would ultimately be declared victorious in the end. It took an interception in the endzone at end of regulation to seal the deal. The favorable home schedule started to play a major role in protecting the team's aspirations as the season progressed. The Gamecocks would go on to dominate the #1 Crimson Tide two weeks later in Columbia, proving once again how important crowd support can be.

Louisiana Monroe offered a brief reprieve from SEC play before they made the trip to Lexington. The Wildcats were a formidable opponent, Randall Cobb just could not be stopped. Keeping him off the field was the best strategy. Newton and the offense held onto the ball for the final seven minutes of the game, relying on Wes Byrum to kick a short field goal with just seconds remaining. If not for Newton's scrambling ability, this may not have been possible. Vengeance was had for last season's incomprehensible upset, but then came Arkansas...

The fellow offensive juggernaut from Fayetteville would not be denied points in this game of absolutely no defense. Nick Fairley may have forced Ryan Mallett out with a minor concussion, but Tyler Wilson continued to dissect the secondary with relative ease. Punters were barely utilized, they just weren't needed. Arkansas had all the momentum going into the fourth quarter. That is, until Zach Etheridge returned a fumble for six points. While this could've been one of many questionable calls by the referees, the Razorback offense continued to self-destruct. Josh Bynes intercepted two consecutive passes to give the Tigers all the momentum back. The highest scoring game in SEC history would end with the final score of 65-43.

LSU's highly ranked defense was more than ready to give Auburn's offense a reality check in late October. The Bayou Bengals prided themselves on shutting down any offense they faced, but their own offense was mediocre at best. Auburn's rushing attack racked up 440 yards on the day. Newton's signature 49-yard run into the endzone was absolutely unforgettable. Auburn proved it was for real to the remaining skeptics. They survived two consecutive tests, one of which was supposed to bring them to their knees. They flat-out refused to lose, especially at home where the atmosphere was electric. Everyone wanted to believe this was a team of destiny, but there were a few challenges remaining.

The first of which was dealing with the added pressure of the first #1 ranking in school history. Some thought the ranking was cursed after three consecutive weeks of upsets. They put it all on the line in Oxford, where the Ole Miss faithful were half-expecting the trend to continue. The Rebel offense had a considerable amount of success in the second half... en route to a 20 point defeat. Auburn's offense put on a dazzling display of finesse and power. Newton showed his triple threat capability when Kodi Burns lofted a pass into the back of the endzone. The cornerback never stood a chance.

The homecoming game against Chattanooga was just a scrimmage for the two biggest rivalry games of the season. Georgia had won the last four in the series, but this season had been humbling one for the Bulldogs. They came in with every intention of winning, building an early lead in the first quarter. Auburn would not be denied their first outright division title in six years. The Deep South's Oldest Rivalry turned ugly late in the second half when Auburn's defense refused to let up. Georgia showed frustration over Fairley's aggressive play, which turned into a full-fledged confrontation. This resulted in first-half suspensions for Blanc & Goggans in the Iron Bowl. Quarterback Aaron Murray may have taken a beating, but that's just football. Final score- 49-31. Next stop, Tuscaloosa.

The recruitment controversy perpetrated by the blogging media refused to go away. Official investigations into the matter were being conducted at a relatively rapid pace, and Auburn's star quarterback continued to play. Bammers relished the moment, unable to restrain themselves from making fun of the situation. Then gleefully watched their team go up by twenty-four points in the first-half, only to witness the most incredible comeback in Iron Bowl history. The deficit could have easily been much more, but little things started going Auburn's way. The Tigers gradually dug themselves out of a deep hole by forcing turnovers, starting with Antoine Carter's hustle play that turned a touchdown into a touchback. The defense refused to allow another touchdown, and the offense took the lead for good early in the fourth quarter. This one point victory was legendary, ending the defending champion's chances of returning to a BCS bowl.

A title game berth was almost a lock at this point, but a rematch with South Carolina in neutral territory presented one final obstacle. The Gamecocks were eager for a shot at redemption, and to play the part of spoiler. The Ole Ball Coach thought it was going to be a close game, but it wasn't. The Tigers dominated the SEC East Champions in every facet of the game. Spurrier, Garcia, Lattimore, and Jefferies were left dumbfounded by the failure of their offensive game plan. Nothing could go wrong for Newton though, who accounted for over 400 yards of offense and six touchdowns. He even connected with Darvin Adams on an improbable hail mary in the endzone at the end of the first half. USC never seemed to recover that. Final score 56-17. I guess the Georgia Dome isn't so neutral after all.

Thirty-seven days later, the #1 Auburn Tigers were set to face the #2 Oregon Ducks in Glendale, AZ. Awards ceremonies and banquets honored several individuals, but the team hadn't accomplished what they set out to do yet. Based on the season averages, analysts were predicting a combined score of almost a hundred. The long layoff allowed both defenses to contain the rusty offenses. Despite their comparably easy schedule, Oregon played up to Auburn's level. Using their neon yellow socks as motivation, the Ducks would not go down without a fight. If not for Michael Dyer's big run in the fourth quarter, the game may have gone into overtime. Upon further review, the freshman running back was never actually down. The coaching staff rallied him to continue after springing back up. He scampered for thirty-seven yards, setting up another game-winning field goal for Byrum. The senior place kicker never seemed to fail to deliver in these situations, this was no exception.

Chizik's staff will stay intact for the third straight season. Malzahn spurned Vanderbilt and Maryland's offers, and the offensive line coach Jeff Grimes turned down a job at Texas. This kind of loyalty never seemed to exist during Tommy Tuberville's regime. Chizik can attest to that, but the superb level of recruiting continues to impress the Auburn Family. The departure of all that talent and experience will certainly create a void next season, but it's only a matter of time before these new recruits step up. Enjoy this, next season will require some patience.

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!!!!

Cam Newton Conspiracy

2010-11-12T01:27:00.000-08:00

Cam Newton's road to redemption may have come upon an inconvenient speed bump, but he's still eligible to play as Auburn continues a dream season that's almost over. Despite one damning allegation after another, the Auburn Family has continued to defend and stand up for him. Coach Gene Chizik feels so strongly about the innocence of his quarterback that he would gladly put his dream job on the line for him. Athletic Director Jay Jacobs hasn't even tried to defend the institution itself, because he also feels so strongly about the character of one individual. Why would these seemingly intelligent men go out on an limb for an athlete, unless they were absolutely positive of his innocence and integrity? Auburn's athletic department was made aware of the recruiting controversy by the SEC several months before the season started. A thorough investigation was conducted, and no concrete proof of wrongdoing was ever found. If anything at all had turned up, Newton would not have been named the starting quarterback.

This entire ordeal reeks of conspiracy, and it all starts with the amateur level of reporting that has yet to improve. No one has found any real proof of wrongdoing, or a credible source who is man enough to speak on the record. These journalists (bloggers essentially) have published rumors that can neither be confirmed nor denied by anyone involved. They have violated Federal Privacy Laws and embarrassed themselves in the process. All this in an attempt to crush the hopes and dreams of student athletes and a loyal fan base. Auburn supporters are shrewd enough to see through the transparency of this obvious injustice though. Cam is innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around.

Auburn is now a legitimate title contender, a position this program is not used to being in. It's also impossible for Heisman voters to ignore #2. Not only is Newton dominant, but he's a consistent dual threat that defenses can only hope to contain in some capacity. If Auburn goes on to win the game in Glendale, they will be the fifth SEC team in a row to do so. This does not sit well with the rest of the country, so it seems as if the "objective" media has decided to demonize the conference by picking on the school that has been getting the most exposure. Preventing another Reggie Bush scandal also seems like a top priority, no one in the long history of Heisman trophy has ever had to give it back until this year.

Despite all this jealousy and animosity, Auburn will continue to play football with their star quarterback. This controversy will finally blow over sooner or later, and we can all move on with our lives. Newton can finally make the money he deserves in the NFL, and we can discuss his achievements to no end. No one can deny that he is one of the greatest to ever play the game of college football, and his legend will continue to grow. The funny thing is that no one will have to exaggerate his unmeasurable talent and ridiculous statistics. He is just that good!!

Cam Newton 4 Heisman!!!!

2010-11-02T22:18:00.000-07:00

While my loyalty to my Alma Mater may take away from objectivity, I can honestly say with conviction and proof that the best college football player in the country plays for the Auburn Tigers. The impact he's had on this team has become impossible to ignore, just look at the rankings!! His dual threat potential was apparent from the initial announcement of his recruitment, but who could've predicted the ridiculous statistics on his resume this season. Newton has the rare capability to turn a broken play into a first down by scrambling out of the pocket without hesitation. A 6'6" quarterback who weighs 250 pounds is not easy to bring down, but his agility allows him to elude even the most determined tacklers. His passer rating could not be better either.

Newton's chances of winning the Heisman Trophy seem more than likely, but a considerable amount of his success would not be possible without the talented supporting cast that surround him. Contrary to popular belief, Auburn's success isn't based on the stellar performance of one player. The experienced offensive line deserves recognition and respect for their efforts this season. Without adequate blocking from Ryan Pugh, Byron Isom, Jason Bosley and Lee Ziemba, Cam Newton would not have had the opportunity to showcase his talent against the best defenses the SEC has to offer. Running backs Onterrio McCalebb and Mike Dyer have done all they can to make Auburn's rushing attack that much more dangerous. Their speed and power have complemented Newton well, while providing some timely blocks in the process. Receivers Darvin Adams, Terrell Zachery and Kodi Burns have been reliable targets for Newton to throw to. Malzahn's offense has been unstoppable this year, so much so that they have been able to compensate for any deficiencies the defense may have.

The most amazing thing about Cam Newton is his consistency and invincibility. He can perform well under pressure and on the biggest stage. He's had bad drives and bad quarters, but he hasn't had a bad game. Other leading Heisman candidates cannot claim the same thing. Mark Ingram was held to 33 yards rushing last year in the Iron Bowl, but it would not factor into his Heisman campaign. His performance in that game did not affect the voters' decision to give him the award. Newton will have to continue playing at a high level to lead the team to the SEC Championship game and beyond, but the Heisman trophy should be his at this point. No one else deserves it as much as he does. I really hope he stays for his senior season like Tebow did, but I would understand if he decides to make the jump into the NFL. His popularity and exposure will peak by the the time the season ends, he might as well strike while the iron is hot. Auburn fans owe him a debt of gratitude whether he leaves or stays.

WAR CAM EAGLE!!!

Best Movies of 2010...So Far

2010-10-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

The Best Action Movie Goes To....
Iron Man 2
Director- Jon Favreau
Starring- Robert Downey Jr, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Sam Rockwell
Honorable Mention-Machete

The Best Comedy Movie Goes To...
Get Him To The Greek
Director-Nicholas Stoller
Starring- Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, P. Diddy
Honorable Mention- Hot Tub Time Machine

The Best Dramatic Movie Goes To...
The Social Network
Director- David Fincher
Starring- Jesse Eisenburg, Justin Timberlake
Honorable Mention- The American

The Best Horror Movie Goes To...
Shutter Island
Director- Martin Scorcese
Starring- Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley
Honorable Mention- The Crazies

The Best Animated Movie Goes To...
Toy Story 3
Director-Lee Unkrich
Starring- Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Michael Keaton
Honorable Mention- Legends of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

The Best Documentary Goes To...
Freakonomics
Director(s)- Morgan Spurlock, Alex Gibney, Seth Gordon, Stephen Levitt...among others

The Best Psychological Thriller & My Favorite Movie Of The Year Goes To...
Inception
Director- Chris Nolan
Starring- Leonardo DiCaprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Michael Caine
Honorable Mention- The Book of Eli

Most Anticipated
IMDB
Due Date- Nov. 5th
Unstoppable- Nov. 12th
Harry Potter 7 Part 1- Nov. 19th
Faster- Nov. 24th
Black Swan- Dec. 1st
Tron Legacy- Dec. 17th
Little Fockers- Dec. 22nd
The Green Hornet- Jan 14th
The Adjustment Bureau- March 4th
Sucker Punch- March 25th
Your Highness- April 8th

BEST MOVIE= INCEPTION

Best Albums of 2010...So Far

2010-10-09T16:53:00.000-07:00

10. Big Boi- "Sir Lucious Left Foot: The Son of Chico Dusty"
Genre-Hip/Hop
Stand Out Tracks- Shutterbug, Tangerine, Shine Blockas, Lookin For Ya, Royal Flush

9. Frightened Rabbit- "Winter of Mixed Drinks"
Genre- Alt-Rock
Stand Out Tracks- Swim Until You Can't See Land, The Lonliness, Nothing Like You

8. Foals- "Total Life Forever"
Genre- Alt-Rock
Stand Out Tracks- Spanish Sahara, Two Trees, Miami, The Orient

7. Eminem- "Recovery"
Genre- Rap
Stand Out Tracks- No Love, Not Afraid, Love the Way You Lie

6. Delorean- "Subiza"
Genre- Electronic
Stand Out Tracks- Stay Close, Real Love, Infinite Desert

5. Ratatat-"LP4"
Genre- Electronic
Stand Out Tracks- Sunblocks, Bob Gandhi, Drugs

4. Jonsi- "Go"
Genre- Icelandic Post-Rock
Stand Out Tracks- Go Do, Animal Arithmetic, Tornado, Around Us

3. Interpol- "Interpol"
Genre- Alt-Rock
Stand Out Tracks- Barricade, Lights, Memory Serves, Try It On, The Undoing

2. Mumford & Sons- "Sigh No More"
Genre- Folk/Bluegrass
Stand Out Tracks- The Cave, Little Lion Man, White Blank Page, Sigh No More

1. Yeasayer- "Odd Blood"
Genre- Indie Alt-Rock
Stand Out Tracks- Ambling Alp, ONE, I Remember, Madder Red, Love Me Girl

Why it deserves this honor-
Odd Blood may have come out in early February, but it has stood the test of time like no other album this year. I continue to enjoy it to this day for it's unique synthesis of retro and futuristic sound effects. The fusion of the mesmerizing elements of psychedelic rock and the infectious beats of eighties dance music makes it one of the most addictive albums I've ever come across. There are soulful ballads and inspirational songs that can provide motivation during exercise or relaxation after a long day. There are a few filler songs, but they aren't terrible. They just don't compare well to the songs I like. Their first album called All Hour Cymbals (2007) was just as good, maybe even a little better. This artistic band from Brooklyn deserves recognition for their efforts. I'm looking forward to their next album, but will continue to enjoy what they've already released.

Honorable Mention

1. Maximum Balloon- "Maximum Balloon"
2. Menomena- "Mines"
3. Pendulum- "Immersion"
4. Deerhunter- "Halycon Digest"
5. LCD Soundsystem- "This is Happening"

Anticipated Upcoming Releases
1. Kings of Leon- "Come Around Sundown" (Oct 19, 2010)
2. Kid Cudi- "Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager" (Oct. 26, 2010)
3. Brian Eno- "Small Craft on Milk Sea" (Nov. 2, 2010)
4. Cee-Lo Green- "The Lady Killer" (Nov. 9, 2010)
5. Kanye West- "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" (Nov. 22, 2010)

The Hypocrisy of College Football

2010-09-22T22:02:00.000-07:00

Over the last seven years, I have come to the conclusion that college football is a lot better than the NFL. There may not be as much talent, but there’s certainly more passion and suspense. Say what you will about the irrationality of the BCS, but the importance of every single game is magnified because of it. The primary difference between the two is above all else… money. First-round draft picks and free agents are always signing contracts that guarantee millions of dollars. This can lead to apathy and a lack of loyalty, but no one can deny that they deserve part of the revenue. Student-athletes are given full scholarships, textbooks, room and board, but is that really enough?

College coaches can make up to seven figures every year, and surpluses are common from all of the revenue football generates. The NCAA has strict rules and regulations for compensating players though. They’re the ones doing all the hard work on the field, but they are severely punished for any infraction that may involve a booster or an agent. The Georgia Bulldog’s wide receiver A.J. Greene was suspended for four games for selling his authentic game-worn jersey, while the University continues to make thousands of dollars on the sale of the replicas. Can you blame a guy for trying to make a buck?

The Reggie Bush saga has finally ended after an investigation that lasted for almost five years. His Heisman Trophy will be stripped for the first time in seventy-five year history of the award. For what you ask? His inability to refuse the lavish gifts that boosters and agents insisted he have. Southern Cal was forced to vacate all of their wins in its championship-winning season, and they will not be bowl-eligible until 2012. It’s hard to feel bad for Lane Kiffin, who abandoned Tennessee after only one season. These penalties make sense, but taking away Reggie’s trophy doesn’t seem right to me. O.J. Simpson never had to give his back after being accused of murder. Others have been caught using performance enhancers or charged with drug possession. This is unprecedented, and in my opinion…undeserved. He was the best player on the field in 2004; over a thousand voters can attest to that.

The NCAA and NFL’s relationship continues to be on shaky ground, but their coexistence will always be necessary. It is a difficult task to monitor the actions of every talented individual on any given college football team. Scouts and agents are constantly in their heads, offering them the life they’ve always dreamed of. Patience and restraint is not easy, especially when immediate gratification is being offered. Nick Saban said that agents are like pimps, who prey on the unsuspecting athletes with bright futures. The NFL has to do something about this, and the NCAA needs to give some of these athletes a break. Salaries may ruin the “innocence” of college football, but there has to be some kind of compromise. No one knows what the future may hold; we can only hope that some kind of solution can be found. Some kind of Plus-1 title game would be awesome too…just saying.

International Travel Journal

2010-09-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

This is a long overdue writing assignment, but I've been thinking about joining the Peace Corps recently. I know I'd have to get used to a lower standard of living, but getting paid to travel sounds like the adventure I need at this stage of my life. I'm in that important transition phase between college and career, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to commit to anything yet. Delaying the inevitable sounds like a great plan to me. I could use an eye-opening and life-changing experience to help me gain some perspective. An average "tour of duty" lasts about two years, but you are given up to forty-eight vacation days. The Peace Corps will pay for a flight to wherever you want to go (within reason), but it will not cover any of your other travel expenses. The application asks what part of the world I would prefer to be sent to, and I started thinking about where I had already been.

March 2010-Costa Rica

I was lucky enough to start my spring break a couple days early, because my cousin was getting married... in Central America! Believe it or not, this was not a honeymoon location wedding. My cousin's fiance (now husband) grew up there, and he would like to live there again some day. He has political aspirations and wanted a highly publicized wedding. The flight from Atlanta took about four and half hours. I recognized someone from college before we even took off. She remembered my name, but I could not for the life of me remember hers. We had a short conversation about our spring break plans, then I went looking for her on facebook mobile. When I found her, I realized it was her birthday as well. I quickly said "Happy Birthday Ellen," and she thanked me with a smirk. I think she knew what I had just done.

Flight attendants were offering food and alcoholic beverages... for an inflated price. No one else seemed to have any interest, but it was past our dinner time. It was safe to assume that we were all pretty full after sharing two appetizers, four meals, and at least ten beers and wine coolers. I didn't see the receipt, but it must've cost a lot! As soon as we got off of the plane, we were herded on to a crowded shuttle bus. Airport services were waiting with a wheelchair for my ninety-two-year-old grandmother at the terminal. It was highly advantageous to be related to her at this point and time. Clearing customs was quick and easy because of the "wheelchair only" line. Families were allowed to follow. The walk to customs and baggage claim proved to be bizarre though. As we were getting on the elevator, a pregnant hippy-looking woman was on the floor making a scene. She kept shouting that her husband kicked her in the stomach, and wanted to file charges against him. The husband was adamant that his wife was mentally unstable, and wanted nothing to do with her. Airport security seemed to be just as confused as everyone else, but I never saw the resolution. Several strange ads were strategically positioned around the terminal, reminding everyone about statutory rape laws. They were hard not to notice, I guess that's a huge problem there.

The hotel was about a half-hour away from the airport. A driver from the hotel was waiting to pick us up, it's not every day that you see someone holding up a sign with your last name on it. The driver was entertaining to say the least. He was somewhat of tour guide, who loved to practice his English any chance he got. He was all to eager to teach us a little Spanish as well. I remember him taking an interest in me after he struggled to pronounce my name right. He was open about his love of drinking, and could tell that we shared a mutual interest. He told us jokes and talked almost the entire time. The hotel was a secluded resort with a lot of amenities. The lack of air conditioning was puzzling, but it never got too warm inside. There was so much space, and the indoor pool was in an adjoined green house. The restaurant was located right in the middle of everything and there were bars nearby. I couldn't have been more impressed, but it would have been nice if the casino was still open.

Our extended family and friends had made the trip a day or two before, but we didn't see them until the next morning at breakfast. Most of them had been exploring the coast and snorkeling the day we got there. I was not happy about missing out on this, but I got over it. The first thing we got to do was tour a coffee factory/plantation. I wasn't that interested, but the tour guides were really energetic (I wonder why? haha). Later on that day, a bus took us to a wedding party called a Seronata. Its a tradition for the groom to sing to his bride before they get married, and we were all looking forward to that. The house had an incredible view of San Jose from its vantage point on a hill. There was mariachi band and an open bar with unlimited beer and mixed drinks for everyone. I got really drunk and made a fool of myself on the dance floor. My mom would later scold me for bumpin' and grindin' with a couple girls, saying that it was "inappropriate and demeaning to women." Supposedly, one of her friends sarcastically asked her who taught me how to dance. I literally passed out on the floor of the bus on the way back to the hotel, someone had to wake me up when we got there.

The next day started way too early, but I was excited for the next group activity. There were options, but I chose jungle zip lining. The height and speed of it was a little nerve-racking at first, but I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was disappointed that I didn't see any monkeys, but they're prone to stealing your stuff if your not careful. We went to a sports bar that evening, but our inability to speak Spanish was detrimental to our overall experience. My limited understanding of the menu came from Taco Bell, but this did not help me make a good decision. While other people were ordering steaks, I thought a chicken chalupa sounded good, but it wasn't. It was a hard taco shell covered with lettuce, tomato, two pieces of chicken and an ample amount of ketchup and mayonnaise. Not kidding. My sister and other cousin had pity on me and shared their meals.

The next day was the wedding, but it wasn't until early that evening. I spent the better part of my day relaxing, and looking forward to what was to come. The church was absolutely beautiful, it reminded me of the Sistine Chapel. A bagpiper was playing outside as everyone started arriving. I felt awkward about sitting so close to the front, but that was only because of how bored I tend to get at ceremonies. The service was mostly in Spanish, but most of it was translated. I thought it was strange that the ceremony didn't end with a kiss, but I was just glad that it was over. We all went back to the hotel for the reception; that's when the fun could start. Wine was served with appetizers as last minute preparations were being made in conference room. Champagne was then poured for toasts, and the best man had the longest speech ever (in Spanish). It must've lasted for almost five minutes, and a large percentage of the people in attendance had no idea what he was saying. A feast was unveiled soon afterward in an adjoining room, and waiters were taking drink orders. The band started encouraging people to get up on stage, and my sister and I jumped at the opportunity to play the bongos and shake the tambourine. I started to get a little belligerent after awhile, prompting my aunt to say that she was a little worried about me. I decided to sober up and change out of my suit at that point. I had spilled red wine on my shirt earlier, but I wouldn't have noticed it if several people hadn't pointed it out to me. Ignorance is bliss! Sufficed to say, it was a great night!

I was a little sad that we had to leave the next day, but I was planning on going to Panama City Beach when I got back. I won't get into the crazy hijinx of that trip. As soon as we started boarding the plane, I noticed that my family had first class seats. My ticket was bought separately, so I had to sit in the economy section. While my family was eating a three course meal in lounge chairs, I was given peanuts and soda. While they were picking what they wanted to watch on a personal screen, I was watching a projected movie for kids with everyone else. My Dad felt bad, so he gave me some money when we landed. Costa Rica was an out of this world experience though, and I'd love to go back some day. I need to go to the beach next time, supposedly it's home to some of the best surfing in the world. I had a lot of fun regardless. My cousin and her husband went to Italy for their honeymoon shortly thereafter. Talk about jealousy, that is one of my dream vacations!

July 2007-Australia

I actually lived in the "Land Down Under" for two years when I was a toddler. My family moved there in 1988, and we came back to the States in 1990. We lived in a desert oasis town called Alice Springs that is right in the middle of the country. My dad worked at a government facility called Pine Gap. The absence of artificial light and pollution allowed them to rely on NASA satellites for all the intelligence they could gather. I don't remember much about living there, but I've seen countless pictures and heard funny stories.

Seventeen years later, my family decided to go back for a two week vacation. The flight to Sydney took almost twenty hours altogether, but we had a layover at LAX. It took over fourteen hours to cross the Pacific Ocean. Quantas Airlines couldn't have been any better, but the overall experience of the abnormally long flight was not much fun. I appreciated all the food, alcohol, entertainment and friendly service but the lack of leg room became a big problem for me. The guy sitting in front of me didn't understand the concept of common courtesy. He had his seat back almost as far as it could go for the better part of the flight. He wouldn't even put his seat all the way up when was eating. This frustrated me to no end, and I never got comfortable enough to fall asleep. My ankles started swelling up, and I have never experienced worse turbulence. The plane started shaking violently near Hawaii, and I started thinking about the pilot episode of Lost. It was that scary, but we landed safely in the end.

Unfortunately our summer is their winter, but it wasn't that bad. Sydney's average temperatures were in the high fifties to low sixties. We stayed in a large suite in the middle of the city for the next few days and enjoyed all the typical things tourists do. The view from the balcony was pretty amazing, but we tried to stay active while we were there. We had a guided tour of the city, cruised around the harbor, and visited zoos and aquariums. I walked through water tank tunnels with multiple sharks above my head, got to pet koala bears, and witnessed hungry crocodiles jump for their food. The Sydney Tower allowed us to see a 360 degree view the entire city at over nine hundred feet above sea level. The weather didn't allow us to go to Bondi Beach, but we enjoyed ourselves anyway. The next stop was a city called Adelaide in the southeast region of the country. It was only a two hour plane ride from Sydney. Adelaide is known for its local music scene and wineries, and we took advantage of the latter. We signed up for a tour of all the most popular vineyards, sampling everything they allowed us to try along the way. I don't consider myself a connoisseur of wine by any means, but I have never had better wine in my life. I enjoyed the Port the most, because of the thirty-year aging process it goes through. The oak barrel it was stored in gives it sweet flavors and unique accents that are hard to explain. I could only describe the experience as comparable to Christmas morning. I know that doesn't make much sense, but I couldn't think of any other way to tell everyone how much I enjoyed it.

Our old home town of Alice Springs was next on our list of places to see...again. As soon as we got into town, I had a strong feeling of Deja Vu. I had no real memory of living there, but everything looked so familiar. We drove past our old house, and visited the school my older sister attended. There wasn't much else to see in such a small town, but we stayed for three full days. Aborigines were prevalent, and most of them seemed to be either poor or homeless. A prohibition had recently been imposed on them, because public drunkenness had been a problem for so many years. My dad remembers seeing some of them drinking boxed wine from the nozzle in the river bed back in the day. There wasn't much to do in the middle of the desert, but we made the best of it. The hotel had a casino, and I got lucky playing the slots. We continued to eat like we were on vacation, but I decided to try something different at one restaurant. I ordered a meats sampler platter that included kangaroo, camel, emu and alligator. All of which were pretty good! The trip to see Uluru (Ayers Rock) was not boring though. The view of such a huge rock was pretty breath taking, but the annoying flies were swarming that day. We stopped at somewhat of a zoo on the way there, and a cockatoo made our day. Not only could it talk in an Australian accent, but it could mimic your laughter as well. This just made is laugh harder, haha. We finally left to visit one more place called Cairns that would prove to be the best part of the entire trip.

It's closer proximity to the equator made Cairns a tropical paradise. Our beach house couldn't have been any closer to the sand, and it was more spacious than any other place we stayed in. There were three bedrooms, two bathrooms, full kitchen, and a fifty inch flat screen TV in the living room. The deck was bigger than the house itself. There was enough room for two tables and four pool chairs. A pool and hot tub was right next to our deck, but we had to walk down stairs to gain entrance. I could not have been more content with my life when I was admiring the sunset at the beach. Our family friends from Virginia were there, who were taking a different approach to their Australian vacation. They started in Sydney, but immediately went north to Cairns. Ironically enough, we met them for the first time in Australia eighteen years earlier. We all went snorkeling the next day in the Great Barrier Reef, and that may very well have been one of the best experiences I have ever had in my short life. The entire spectrum of bright color could be seen underwater. Schools of fish were swimming in unison, and the coral itself was just as colorful as the fish. We tried to take pictures of what we saw, but nothing we took with our disposable water resistant camera was worth keeping. The clouds were covering the sun, which affected the brightness of the pictures. The professionals we paid to take us out there provided us a CD with all the best pictures they had ever taken though. If you want to see what I saw, watch the Shallow Seas episode of Planet Earth.

I had no real desire to leave, but I accepted it when the time came. The flight back to LAX was not as excruciating as it was before, but the six hour flight back to Washington D.C. was torture. I was so exhausted by the time we got home, but jet lag wouldn't allow me to sleep. I had gotten plenty of sleep on the plane anyway. The best vacation I had ever been on was now over, but I was happy to have experienced what I did. I hope to go back someday, but I don't look forward to another twenty hour flight anytime soon, unless its in first class!

July 1999-Europe

This vacation was over a decade ago, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. It all started in London after a six hour flight. After little to no sleep on the plane, I expected to get a little shut-eye when we got to the hotel. The rooms weren't ready yet, so we we did the complete opposite. My dad wanted to see the the famous department store Harrod's, but it was a two mile walk there. We had a buffet breakfast beforehand, but walking and shopping was the last thing I wanted to do at that point. A tour company called Globus had planned out the entire trip for us, but we had a couple days to do whatever we wanted. We used that time to adjust to the five hour time difference. Our family friends met us there, but they weren't going to join us on the tour. We would've done more, but the tour guide was going to show us everything the city had to offer. His name was Hamish, and we couldn't have asked for a better one. He was knowledgeable, funny, and seemed to love his job. The group was also friendly and hilarious. There were a lot of senior citizens who just wanted to have fun. A lot of states were represented, and I think a few Canadians joined us.

After a few days in London, we left for the white cliffs of Dover. A "hovercraft" boat was waiting to transport us to Calais, France. We could've taken the new Chunnel through the English Channel, but Globus had arranged for us to do it this way. A large bus was waiting when we got there, we had a lot of ground to cover in the next ten days. The plan was to travel north first, and our first stop was in Brussels, Belgium. That was a stretching/bathroom/eating break though, we would spend the night in Amsterdam, Holland. I remember seeing a few nude beaches on the way there, but they were a long ways away from the road. Amsterdam was not nearly has fun as it could've been. I remember visiting a cheese factory, and seeing how clogs are made. The entire country had a unique smell too, but it wasn't necessarily good or bad. I don't know how to explain it. One of the older couples joked about getting hookers that night because there were calling cards everywhere. The next stop was Munich, Germany, but we were only passing through. All the taxis were Mercedes or BMW's, and the BMW headquarters resembled a transmission. The bus would not stop for the night until we arrived at a small town called Omeramagua. Its close proximity to the Neuschwanstein castle was the primary reason we stopped there. The Disney World castle was actually modeled after it. We would tour it before we left. It was pretty incredible, I posted a picture of it below. Omeramagua was quaint little village with several bars and restaurants. We all enjoyed wienerschnitzel at almost every meal, which is a fried pork chop. The hotel was small but nice. There was a cantankerous parrot in the lobby that didn't seem to like me very much. It was friendly to my sister, but it would snap at me every chance it got. It would mimic what you said every once in awhile, so that kind of made up for its sexism.

The bus driver was ready to take us to Austria and Switzerland after a couple days, but it was at this point that a lot of people started getting contagiously sick. Colds and stomach viruses were spreading, and a few people had to go home early. I felt bad for these people, but me and my family were spared. The view on top of a mountain in Lucerne, Switzerland was breath taking. All of your cares and concerned could easily be forgotten. We made our up there in a gondola lift, and went back down the mountain in a train. Venice, Italy and Paris, France were up next though. Our vacation was coming to a close, but those last two stops made all worth it. We could not have eaten better food or seen more architectural and natural beauty. The gondula boat ride through the canals of Venice may have smelled bad, but it was one of the most unique experiences you can ever have in any city. The Italian food and music that we enjoyed at a special restaurant outing was the perfect dining experience. Saint Peters Cathedral and Basilica was picturesque, but the sheer amount of pigeons flying around the area was pretty ridiculous. I also found out how much Paris has to offer, besides the Eiffel Tower. Notre Dame, the Lourve Museum and the Arc De Triumph were a just few of the sights we had to see. I tried es cargo while I was there, and it wasn't half bad. That may have been because of all of the garlic butter sauce, but it was tasty. The new tour guide was annoying. She would begin each sentence with a long uhhhhhhhh, and didn't know English very well. I was getting pretty homesick at this point though, because I had never been away from home for so long. My family felt the same way as we made our back to London then home. It was an unforgettable vacation, but we were all grateful when it came to an end.

One thing I couldn't help but notice about Europe was how open they are with their sexuality. Nudity and hardcore pornography was everywhere. Newspaper advertisements and billboards had nudity, and pornography was available on free television. Male and female prostitutes put their calling cards in most phone booths and bathrooms. I was an impressionable twelve-year-old at the time, and my parents tried to shield me the best they could. I was so surprised with how desensitized Europeans were, but the morals and values of our society seemed so prude all of a sudden. I was a little taken aback by it all at first, but I realized later how awesome Europe truly is. I really hope I can go back to Amsterdam some day...without my parents! I've also been to Canada and Mexico, but I decided not to count those among my international vacations.

ULURU

Arenal Volcano

Neuschwanstein

Favorite iPhone Applications

2010-09-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

I have been using an iPhone 3G for almost a year and a half now, but its capabilities never cease to amaze me. I have never had a phone that was so easy to use and allowed me to do so much. It is the only handheld device you will ever need. Want is a different story, but I won't get into my love affair with the iPad. I hope to upgrade in the near future, but I have started to look at other advanced phones. Droid phones have dramatically improved over the last couple years, and in some ways have become better. Apple's exclusive agreement with AT&T and strict restrictions on its software have helped the competition succeed.

Jailbreaking the iPhone has become more common among technologically-savvy users, but there are risks to doing this. Not only does this void your warranty, but it can negatively affect basic phone functions. Official software updates have tried to reduce the need to do this, but I am going to need a new phone to enjoy some of the most recent updates. Jailbreaking the software would allow me to multitask for free, but it isn't worth it in the long run. I can honestly say that I am content with the phone I have now though. The primary reason for this is the two hundred and fifty thousand applications and counting available in the App Store. The Android market doesn't even come close to that number, but Apple had a huge head start. They all try to make life easier or less boring. Apps are added almost every day, but a sizable percentage of them are either useless or worthless. I download several new apps each week, but I don't always keep what I don't pay for. "Lite" versions are essentially free demos that allow the user to see a limited range of what it can do. I hardly ever keep these for more than a few days, but I do appreciate the functional preview. As of right now, I have almost fifty apps organized into eight different folders.

Here's a list of my favorite...

FREE APPS- (in no particular order)

Shazam- Identifies songs within seconds. Find out what's playing on the radio immediately.
Pandora- Find new bands that are similar to the ones you love with quality streaming radio.
iTunes Remote- Pick the exact song you want from across the room. Requires a WI-FI connection to sync up with your iTunes library.
IMDb- Easily access a wealth of entertainment information that can settle any argument.
Vlingo- Allows you do almost anything with the power your voice. In-app purchases are required to utilize the updated version, which allows you to say what you want to text or e-mail. This is no gimmick, it actually works!
Facebook- Social networking on the go, what more can I say? It's pretty addictive, haha.
Flixster- The most convenient way of looking up movie times, trailers, reviews, and box-office results.
Words With Friends- Scrabble is actually a really fun game, who knew? Buy the full version if you get annoyed with the advertisements.
Traffic Rush- An addictive game that puts you in control of a busy intersection. Push the motorists through as fast as you can without causing an accident.
iBooks- Turn your phone into a Kindle! The store gives you access to an expansive book store. You can read relatively long samples of everything you are interested in buying. A Kindle app is also available.
YellowPages- The best way to find phone numbers and directions to any local business.
Vevo- Official music videos are rare on YouTube nowadays, use Vevo to watch them.
NLog Synthesizer- My favorite instrument app that includes a multitude of different sound effects.
ESPN ScoreCenter- Follow all of your favorite sports teams at once, even when you can't watch them. Push notifications can be sent as often as you would like. Play-by-play statistics are also available.
Adobe Photoshop Express- "Fix" every picture you have ever taken; upload to Facebook as soon as you do.
Mino- It's Tetris, with online gameplay!
iLike Concerts- Shows you when and where your favorite artists are performing near you. You can even buy the tickets through the app.

PAID APPS- (prices may vary)

Air Mouse Pro-$1.99- Turn your phone into the ultimate remote! Connect your laptop to your TV using an s-video cable, then sit back, relax, and enjoy all of the entertainment the internet has to offer.
Sound Hound-$4.99- Like Shazam, but better! You can even identify songs by singing or humming them.
Angry Birds- $0.99- One of the most addictive and bizarre games ever! The physics are incredibly accurate.
Spawn Illuminati HD-$0.99- A music visualizer that has the power to mesmerize you with it's bright colors and quick movement. Symmetry mode is a beautiful thing!
Snood- $2.99- I can't tell you how often I played this game in high school on my TI-83 graphing calculator. Now I can play it in color!
Tetris-$2.99- I don't know why it doesn't offer online gameplay, but the magic mode is really fun.
Need For Speed: Underground-$4.99- Exceptional graphics and interactive steering prove that the iPhone is a legitimate gaming device.
Boost-$0.99- Avoid the colorful blocks in this hypnotizing game of interactive steering.
iTranslate-$1.99- Learn how to say and pronounce anything in every major language. It will even say it for you!
iBartender-$0.99- An extensive list of every mixed drink ever created, and how to make them!
Hispstamatic-$1.99- Take old school looking photographs that can make anyone feel nostalgic.
Night Stand-$0.99- Need a new alarm clock? Look no further! It shows you what time it is in landscape mode, and wakes you up when you need to.
Ambiance-$2.99- Contains over hundred sound effects that can help you fall asleep. I prefer the thunderstorm.
Weatherbug Elite-$0.99- Doppler Radar and active alerts give you all the meteorological data you could ever need.
Netflix-$9/month- The app itself is free, but it requires a subscription. No commercials, just all your favorite streaming movies and shows. Hulu Plus doesn't stand a chance! Watching a full movie will require some kind of update at this point.
Voices-$1.99- One of the most humorous apps available. Transform your recorded voice eighteen different ways!
Coin Flip-$0.99- Need help making a decision? Digital versions of every new and old American coin can help you do just that. Flick your wrist to "throw it up in the air." Remember to turn the cheat mode off.
5-0 Radio-$0.99- Listen in on what the police are saying in your neck of the woods. See if there are any emergencies or if there are cops are close by while you're driving.
Let's Golf- $4.99- The most fun you can have playing a golf game. It resembles Hot Shots Golf on the PlayStation, which means that it has great graphics and simplistic game play.

I will add more when I find them!

Washington Redskins Season Preview

2010-09-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

The Redskins may have won their third Super Bowl in 1991, but they have only made four trips to the playoffs since. Despite their mediocrity, the Redskins remain one of the most valuable sports franchises in the world. Daniel Synder knows how to make a profit, but his meddling methods of ownership have been detrimental to the team since he bought it in 1999. Last season's 4-12 record couldn't have been more embarrassing. The incompetence on the field was unbearable to watch at times, losing to teams like the Detroit Lions and Kansas City Chiefs was disgraceful. This video of a "trick play" against the New York Giants shows how awful they could be. What happened off the field was just as bad, if not worse. Season ticket holders were being sued for trying to get out of their contracts, including an eighty-year-old widow who had no reason to go to games anymore. Negative signs and shirts were banned from the stadium as the team continued to embarrass itself every week.

A lack of leadership from the inexperienced coaching staff was obvious. Jim Zorn had no business being the head coach in the first place. Why would a quarterbacks coach from Seattle get a head coaching job? He had no idea what he was doing. That's why Mike Shanahan was hired, a proven winner of three Super Bowls, one of which was with the San Francisco 49ers as an offensive coordinator. The other two were with Denver Broncos in the late nineties. Bruce Allen was also hired as a general manager to make better roster decisions. He is the son of former Redskins coach George Allen, but his resume of assembling Super Bowl caliber rosters is impressive.

Seasoned veterans were acquired to add more experience and leadership in the locker room. Donovan McNabb upgrades the quarterback position with his athleticism and awareness, but his tendency to get injured is a cause for concern. The question of why a division rival would trade their franchise quarterback for draft picks is still baffling to me. McNabb may be almost thirty-four years old, but he can still play. There is no doubt about that. The offseason workouts he puts himself through were designed to keep himself in the best shape of his life. Even younger players struggle to keep up with him in the weight room. The Redskins will face the Eagles twice this season, and he will get his revenge in the first game or the next. Rex Grossman was also signed for insurance purposes, and he looks like one of the most reliable backups in the NFL if the preseason was any indication. Something to think about... John Elway was older than McNabb when he won two consecutive Super Bowls with Shanahan.

The inconsistent play from the offensive line last season caused the offense to rank near the bottom in scoring and efficiency. Injuries and lack of depth may have caused this, and this problem was addressed in the draft and free agency. The retirement of Chris Samuels came as a huge blow to a team in need of a talented left tackle. Trent Williams from Oklahoma was their first pick in the draft back in April, and he will be expected to protect McNabb's blind side. Clinton Portis and Larry Johnson will require a considerable amount of help from the line to find holes to run through. The running game is bound to succeed in the Shanahan system though. Unknown running backs would inevitably become statistical stars in Denver. Sixth round picks like Terrell Davis could gain over two thousand yards in a season and be named Super Bowl MVP. Clinton Portis started his career with Shanahan, and hopefully this will inspire and motivate him to play like he used to. It won't take long for Santana Moss, Joey Galloway, Devin Thomas, Chris Cooley and Fred Davis to find chemistry with a quarterback like McNabb. With adequate protection, he can rifle it wherever he wants it to go. The receivers just need to pay attention.

The defense actually played well last season, and they will continue to make things difficult for opposing offenses. Albert Haynesworth's criticism of the new 3-4 defensive scheme is now infamous, and he continues to be a problem for the coaching staff. His millions of dollars have made him apathetic, but his talent and size can still help keep the ball in the backfield. London Fletcher's leadership and tackling ability will keep the defense focused, no matter what Haynesworth may say or do. It is of vital importance that the secondary play attentive and aggressive football. Turnovers are essential for any defense; DeAngelo Hall, Carlos Rogers and Laron Landry have the speed and agility to return any interception for a touchdown. They have to step up and play at a higher level than they ever have before.

The NFC East is one of the hardest divisions to play in, but the outcome of any game can never truly be predicted. They may not play in the Super Bowl any time soon, but there will be a considerable amount of improvement. Redskins fans should be optimistic about what the future may hold. Dan Snyder is desperate for success, and I think he may have finally realized what he has to do to ensure this...NOTHING! He has to let the people he hired do their job, and he found highly qualified people to do what needs to be done. Snyder has turned his attention to other things like stadium renovation. Two gigantic HD screens have been added behind the endzones to keep up with the modern stadiums their rivals have. They're "punter proof" too!

They will start the season off at home against one of these rivals on a Sunday night. The Cowboys have Super Bowl aspirations, but it won't be easy with the new and improved Washington Redskins standing in their way. Here's the rest of their schedule....

DATE & TIME (Eastern)	OPPONENT	TV
Sunday, Sept. 12 - 8:20 PM	Dallas Cowboys	NBC
Sunday, Sept. 19 - 4:15 PM	Houston Texans	CBS
Sunday, Sept. 26 - 4:05 PM	at St. Louis Rams	FOX
Sunday, Oct. 3 - 4:15 PM	at Philadelphia Eagles	FOX
Sunday, Oct. 10 - 1:00 PM	Green Bay Packers	FOX
Sunday, Oct. 17 - 8:20 PM	Indianapolis Colts	NBC
Sunday, Oct. 24 - 1:00 PM	at Chicago Bears	FOX
Sunday, Oct. 31 - 1:00 PM	at Detroit Lions	FOX
Sunday, Nov. 7	BYE
Monday, Nov. 15 - 8:30 PM	Philadelphia Eagles	ESPN
Sunday, Nov. 21 - 1:00 PM	at Tennessee Titans	FOX
Sunday, Nov. 28 - 1:00 PM	Minnesota Vikings	FOX
Sunday, Dec. 5 - 1:00 PM	at New York Giants	FOX
Sunday, Dec. 12 - 1:00 PM	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	FOX
Sunday, Dec. 19 - 1:00 PM	at Dallas Cowboys	FOX
Sunday, Dec. 26 - 1:00 PM	at Jacksonville Jaguars	CBS
Sunday, Jan. 2 - 1:00 PM	New York Giants	FOX

HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!!

The Brilliant Mind of Charlie Kaufman

2010-08-31T23:46:00.000-07:00

Of all the screenwriters in Hollywood, there isn't one that explores the complex nature of the human mind quite like Charlie Kaufman. Every movie he has written requires constant attention and more than one viewing to understand and truly appreciate. The first viewing can be a bewildering and fascinating experience. The second time is almost required for complete comprehension. Subsequent viewings are solely for enjoyment, but they can actually lead to small discoveries. That is one of the rarest feats of writing and especially film making. There is something so uniquely profound and humorous about his storytelling ability. The subject matter may differ in these films, but the themes of how intricate the psyche can be remain the same. Unfortunately, he has nothing officially in development right now, but here's a list of the movies he's written so far...

Being John Malkovich (1999)- Trailer

What if you could see and experience everything the world has to offer through the eyes of another person? What if that person possessed the wealth, recognition and connections that are beyond your wildest dreams? This movie explores the infinite possibilities and the ethical ramifications of these questions. Craig Schwartz (John Cusack) is a struggling puppeteer who is not content with his dull existence. His wife Lotte (Cameron Diaz) is more concerned about the well-being of her chimpanzee than anything else. Craig starts a real job at a peculiar company, and makes an incredibly feeble attempt to have an affair with the woman of his dreams (Catherine Keener). While filing documents, he accidentally stumbles upon some kind of portal into the mind of the actor John Malkovich. After a few minutes of transferred consciousness, the body is dropped from the sky next to the New Jersey Turnpike. He and his wife have life changing experiences, and their marriage crumbles because of it. Craig's puppeteering skills eventually allow him to take full control of Malkovich. He uses the name recognition of an established actor to launch his career as a legitimate puppeteer and lives the life he has always wanted. Years go by before he is forced out, only to be replaced by several elderly immortals. I won't get into this mythology because it's difficult to explain. This movie is bizarre and awkward at times, but the characters are still relatable on some level. It won Oscars for Best Screenplay and Best Director (Spike Jonze).

Human Nature (2001)- Trailer

This movie is essentially an examination of instinct and repressed desire. It shows how self awareness is primarily what separates animals from human beings, but is that learned or instinctive? The main characters represent the extremes of civilized and barbaric behavior. Dr. Nathan Bronfman (Tim Robbins) has dedicated his life to teaching mice table manners until he comes across an ape man named Puff (Rhys Ifans). Bronfman grew up in an extremely civilized environment. His parents would send him to bed without dinner if he used the wrong fork. Lila Jute (Patricia Arquette) is a circus attraction/nature writer with an abnormal body hair condition. While this would seem humiliating to anyone, Lila is content with her life...for the most part. She prefers to live an isolated life in the forest, and has an intense love for mother nature. It doesn't really love her back, but it doesn't judge her either. Mutual love and sex are the only missing components of a "perfect" life. Bronfman and Lila settle for each other, despite how dramatically different they are. Lila has to compromise her morals and values to make the relationship last. Civilizing Puff becomes an issue of contention between the two, and Bronfman ends up dead because of it. He shares his side of the story from beyond the grave. This is one of Kaufman's most humorous screenplays, and one of the first movies Michel Gondry directed.

Adaptation (2002)- Trailer

An in-depth look into the agonizing process of writing something unique and inspiring. The temptation to plagiarize or follow some kind of formulaic sequence of events is almost impossible to ignore. What exactly does one write about when you're trying to avoid hackneyed storytelling techniques? Is it possible to make something about nothing interesting? Life is better represented this way, but what is the point of watching something with no discernible plot or conflict? Is it even possible to write something like that. Kaufman would like to think so. Nicolas Cage does an exceptional job playing a neurotic Charlie Kaufman and his fictional twin brother Donald. Charlie is struggling to write a screenplay based on a moving book about rare flowers, while Donald is attending seminars for instruction on screenwriting that has proven to be successful in the industry. Charlie is ashamed of his brother for doing this, but he admires Donald's ability to finish what he starts without over thinking. Two stories are interwoven throughout the movie. The other one involves Susan Orlean's (Meryl Streep) inspiration for her novel the The Orchid Thief. A real non-fiction book that was published in 1994. John Laroche (Chris Cooper) may not be much to look at, but he is a fascinating character to say the least. He is so full of life, and Susan wishes she could be as passionate about anything like he is about flowers. The two stories converge when Charlie accidentally writes himself into the screenplay. Stress and desperation push him to the edge of insanity as he tries to find the perfect ending. The movie ends as Charlie subconsciously narrates his life after a violent encounter with Susan and John. Donald dies while trying to help, that's why he gets a writing credit. Adaptation won deserved Oscars for it's originality and creativity. Spike Jonze was not rewarded for directing it, but he should've been.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)- Trailer

Based on the autobiography by the famous television producer Chuck Barris, Sam Rockwell gives one of the best performances of his career. According to the memoir, Barris claims to have led a double-life as a CIA operative. He was paid to travel around the world and kill for the U.S. government, thirty-three people by his count. This is highly improbable for a number of reasons, one of which being the shows he was responsible for. He created, produced and even hosted game shows like The Dating Game, The Newlywed Game and The Gong Show. The movie does show how doing both took its toll and affected his sanity. He starts losing the ability to differentiate between dream and reality, and he takes contestants on trips to "exotic" locations like Finland and East Germany. This was his way of killing two birds with one stone, no pun intended. His lack of military experience is suspicious, but he was adamant that a game show host is the perfect cover. This obviously represents how fictionalized an autobiography can be. We all have a tendency to exaggerate our stories in order to make ourselves look better. Barris just wanted his life to appear more interesting. His game shows may be in syndication now, but they were not well-received at first. They were the predecessors of "reality-based" programming that is so popular nowadays. His critics were relentless and ratings were unpredictable. He must've dreamed of another occupation, and espionage was a fascinating topic of conversation during the Cold War. In other words, if want to sell books, make your story as attention grabbing and holding as you possibly can. Apparently, George Clooney did more than direct and act in this movie. He made several major changes to the screenplay without consulting the screenwriter, infuriating Kaufman in the process. Clooney's directorial debut was quite impressive, but the creativity of the storyline was all Kaufman.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)- Trailer
Joel Barish (Jim Carrey) and Clementine Kruczynski (Kate Winslet) have a history, but they have no recollection of this when they believe that they are meeting each other for the first time. Set in the near future, a procedure for targeted memory deletion exists for people who just want to forget and start over. There is no linear storyline here, representing how unpredictable and erratic the subconscious can be. Joel's lucidity during the procedure makes him realize the huge mistake he's made. He and his projection of Clementine try to fight back by summoning other memories that weren't supposed to be targeted, but resistance is futile in the end. He wakes up the next morning with no memory of the last few years of his life, but Clementine still exists in his subconscious. She is the impulsive girl of his dreams who makes life worth living, but she has become bipolar and borderline insane. Her new boyfriend Patrick (Elijah Wood) is incapable of using his own words or buying his own gifts for Clementine. When Joel and Clementine meet again, they immediately realize how perfect they are for one another. Director Michel Gondry and Kaufman have created the most intelligent and meaningful romantic comedy of all time. This is a masterpiece of a movie that can be enjoyed over and over.

Synecdoche, New York (2008)-Trailer
Charlie Kaufman's directorial debut is one of the most complex and multi-layered movies I have ever seen. Fresh off a successful production of Death of a Salesman, director Caden Cotard (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) is determined to create his own play. One of brutal realism and honesty that mirrors his own existence. It's a celebration of the mundane inside a cavernous warehouse that contains a life-sized replica of Manhattan. Caden puts his whole self into it and alienates everyone he cares about in the process. His own life veers wildly off-course as he develops a debilitating illness and isolates himself from the world. The shadow of his ex-wife Adele (Catherine Keener), a celebrated painter who moved to Germany, haunts him every day. His daughter Olive grows up without any moral guidance or supervision from her mother, and she blames her father for abandoning her. It gradually becomes too difficult for Caden to mentally and physically function in his own world, but he lives on in his play. As the years rapidly pass, he buries himself deeper into his masterpiece. Populating the cast and crew with doppelgangers, he blurs the line between the play and that of his own deteriorating reality. A change in creative direction arrives in Millicent Weems (Dianne Wiest), who gives Caden the permanent break he needs. Although I have seen this movie a few times, I am still pretty confused by it. I enjoyed it though, because it challenges the viewer to keep up with intellectual themes of existentialism and philosophy.

Deep....Quotes

2010-08-27T01:24:00.000-07:00

Years after the success of Dazed and Confused, writer/director Richard Linklater released a much different kind of movie called Waking Life in 2001. A movie so deep and bizarre that it begs to be watched more than once. It is essentially one existential or philosophical conversation (mostly monologue) after another, but the rotoscope animation adds to the dream sequence effect that the movie is trying to convey throughout. Rotoscoping is the tedious process of tracing and shading over the actual film itself. Linklater and his production team were the one of the first to take on such a monumental task, but they did it again five years later in the adaptation of Philip K. Dick's novel, A Scanner Darkly.

Waking Life may seem somewhat plotless at first, but you realize how cohesive it really is by the end. It takes awhile for the main character, who is never named, to become lucid. He comes to realization that he is dreaming, but this isn't just any dream. Other characters share their vast knowledge of the universe with him, but he has no idea who they are or why they are talking to him. He patiently listens to what they are saying because it's so damn fascinating. False awakenings concern him as he gradually becomes more aware of what is going on.

These are a couple of my favorite scenes/quotes.....

"Dreams for Free"

I had friend once, who told me that the worst mistake you can make is to think that you are... alive. When you're really just asleep in life's waiting room. The trick is to combine your waking rational abilities with the infinite possibilities of your dream, cause if you can do that then you can do anything. Did you ever have a job that you hated but worked really hard at? A long, hard day at work...finally you get to go home and go to sleep. Suddenly, you wake up and realize the entire day at work had been a dream. It's bad enough that you sell your waking life for minimum wage...but now they get your dreams for free.

"Angry Rant"

The 21st Century is gonna be a new century! Not a century of slavery, lies or issues of no significance! Not a century of classism, statism, and all other modes of control! It will be an age of humankind...standing up for what's right! What a bunch of garbage- liberal Democrats and conservative Republicans. It's all there to control you...two sides of the same coin! Two management teams are bidding for complete control to be the CEO of Slavery Incorporated! The truth is right there in front of you, but they lay out this buffet of lies! Well I'm sick of it, and I'm not going to take a bite out of it! Resistance is not futile, we're gonna win this thing! Humankind is too good...we're not a bunch of underachievers! We need to stand up and be human beings! We need to get fired up about the real things...the things that matter! Like creativity and the dynamic human spirit that refuses to submit!

Auburn Tigers Football Preview

2010-08-22T18:12:00.000-07:00

2009 Highlights

I used to write sports articles for my college newspaper called The Auburn Plainsman, but the only sport anyone genuinely cared about was football. College football is an obsessive passion in the South, especially in a state like Alabama where there are no NFL teams. I enjoyed writing about it so much because I shared this unwavering love for the sport. Autumn Saturdays at a SEC school like Auburn were immense spectacles to behold. Almost a hundred thousand people would visit the campus, making a small college town into one of the most densely populated areas in the state. RV's would start arriving on a Wednesday evening, adding to the build up of anticipation and excitement for the holiday that every weekend would bring. Tailgating is a really important part of the experience, but it all leads up to the big game. Almost ninety thousand screaming fans can give anyone chills during the pregame rituals. Every game I had the pleasure of seeing made a lasting impression on me that I will remember for the rest of my life.

I can honestly say that I am more hopeful about this upcoming season than I have been since 2005. In only his second season, it seems as if Coach Chizik and his staff have dramatically improved the future of this program for many years to come. The Tigers went 8-5 last season with a nail-biting overtime victory over Northwestern in the Outback Bowl. There were statement wins, embarrassing losses, and even moral victories. The Iron Bowl was one of those "moral victories". The eventual National Champions were outplayed in almost every facet of the game, but the Tigers lack of depth proved to be the only difference maker in a heart-breaking loss. It's best not to dwell on such things.

This is a new year, and Auburn will start the season off with a respectable preseason ranking of #22. The return of healthy difference makers and one of the absolute best recruiting classes in the country should be enough to inspire optimism. Several recruits will see immediate action and add some much-needed depth. Junior college transfer Cameron Newton will start at quarterback, improving an already potent offense run by the genius Gus Malzahn. The dual-threat quarterback will have one of the most experienced offensive lines in the conference protecting him. Mario Fannin, Onterrio McCalebb, and Michael Dyer should have no problems finding a hole to run through. The running game will do wonders in opening up the passing game. Darvin Adams, Terrell Zachery, Quindarius Carr, Travon Reed, and Phillip Lutzenkirchen among others will find themselves wide open several times a game. The offense will probably rank near the top of not only the conference but the entire league. That's what they did last year, but what about the defense? Will they improve?

As the defensive coordinator for Auburn and Texas, Coach Chizik did not lose a single game in 2004 or 2005. His defenses were consistently aggressive, but this was not the case last season. Defensive coordinator Ted Roof did the best with the cards he was dealt. The problem was depth because of injuries. Unproven players were constantly being tested and worn out by good offenses. The secondary suffered the most with serious injuries to Michael McNeil, Aairon Savage, and Zac Etheridge. All three will make impressive comebacks this season. With adequate coverage, the linebackers will be free to blitz the quarterback more often. Josh Bynes, Eltoro Freeman and Craig Stevens have the talent and tenacity to make sure the ball stays in the backfield. While the defensive line has a lot of depth, most of these players have not proven themselves to be reliable pass rushers yet. Mike Blanc, Nick Fairley, and Michael Goggans have to show the young guys like Corey Lemonier how it's done and somehow fill the void that Antonio Coleman left after his departure.

The special teams should be solid if Wes Byrum and Ryan Shoemaker do their jobs as well as they have been in previous seasons. Phillip Pierre-Lewis is probably one of the fastest kick/punt returners on the team, but he is not reliable enough to play for an entire season. Darvin Adams, Mario Fannin and Quidarius Carr could potentially be great returners too.

Should be a great season! Here's their schedule.

2010 Intro Video

2010 AUBURN FOOTBALL SCHEDULE

09/04/10 vs. Arkansas State- W (52-26)

09/09/10 at Mississippi State

09/18/10 vs. Clemson

09/25/10 vs. South Carolina

10/02/10 vs. Louisiana-Monroe

10/09/10 at Kentucky

10/16/10 vs. Arkansas

10/23/10 vs. LSU

10/30/10 at Mississippi

11/06/10 vs. Chattanooga (HC)

11/13/10 vs. Georgia

11/26/10 at Alabama

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Review

2010-08-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

I finally saw this movie, and I feel so conflicted about it. I can express myself better through writing things out, so here I go. I knew what I was getting myself into when I paid $11 admission. Visually speaking, it more than lived up to my expectations. I was impressed with the fast-paced motion of the film that resembled classic video games. I actually felt some childhood nostalgia, and I appreciated that. The fight scenes were choreographed to perfection, and the laws of physics were ignored almost every way possible. I felt like I was watching a Japanese anime, which is specifically designed to shorten your attention span. Again, I knew what I was getting into. The trailer was as transparent as it could be, and I still wanted to see it. I really think this is future of filmmaking, and Scott Pilgrim has set the bar high with it's groundbreaking visuals and head-banging soundtrack.

It's incredibly easy to highlight all of the movie's strong points, but explaining what I didn't like about it is a little more difficult. I tried so hard not to be critical throughout it's 113 minute running time, but I just couldn't help myself. I have never seen a more self-aware romantic comedy in my life. To truly love it requires you to intrude on the movie's love affair with its own self. Honestly, I feel like the script writers tried a little too hard to appeal to shallow, insecure, immature, and ignorant teenagers. I didn't feel like I could relate to any of the characters, because I can safely say that I have more life experience than they do. I have learned so many life lessons since high school, and immaturity is hard for me to tolerate. Pointless drama and gossip annoys me to no end because it is treated like it is of the utmost importance.

Homosexuality played a HUGE role in the movie as well, which doesn't usually bother me. I have an open mind more often than not, but I felt like it was kind of overdone. Not only were the openly gay characters constantly reminding the audience of their lifestyle, most of the females seemed to have more testosterone than their male counterparts. This role reversal was strange to me, and I never really did get used it. Despite all of his badass fight scenes, it was painfully awkward to see Michael Cera try to nervously flirt with his apathetic love interest. I don't think Cera has the capacity to play a different kind of character, and I'm starting to get annoyed by that. I won't be supportive of any more of his work until he officially commits to an Arrested Development movie!!

The Verdict- *** out of *****

Why I Love Music

2010-08-19T01:35:00.000-07:00

Music speaks what can't be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from the heavens to your soul.

- Anonymous

I know this quote may sound a little corny, but it really resonated with me when I first read it. It is so difficult to articulate how powerful and inspirational music can be. It can trigger so many thoughts and emotions that can lead to complete and utter contentment. All cares and concerns can be so easily forgotten. Unfortunately, your favorite songs only have a limited duration, but it never ceases to amaze me how easily I can achieve a state of total bliss. I get the feeling of invincibility, like absolutely anything is possible. Music can relax, comfort, motivate and invigorate.

Music exists in limitless forms, there are no parameters for creative expression. Serious musicians are relentless in their pursuit of refining their art, even when their fans believe that they have already achieved perfection. A musician can potentially profit from fame, but loyal and casual fans alike can reap the benefits of a musician's talent and hard work. Whether you pay for the album or not, it can provide hours of enjoyment. Music is the ultimate escape from reality.

I used to think good music required an extremely talented singer/lyricist. While I still appreciate a good voice and well-written poetry, I have come to realize how transcendent instrumental music can be. I discovered the sub-genre of Post Rock while listening to the soundtrack of the movie Friday Night Lights. Ever since then, I have had an deep appreciation for it. Post-Rock is extremely introspective and allows you to think deeply while listening to it. I enjoy it most while I'm studying or driving, but I consider it to be all-purpose music that can be enjoyed at any time or in any mood. Here's a list of some of my favorite Post-Rock songs....

The last two songs in the list fall into more of an ambient category, but I have never listened to more relaxing music in my life. The peace of mind that Hammock and Liquid Mind can give you is incredible. Listen to them if you ever have trouble sleeping or if you feel stressed out.The calming effects are astounding, but that's just the power of music! What kind of music do you enjoy most?

MUSINGS

Raayyeerr!! With Brian Williams

2013 Oscars: What Else Is On?

In Obama's America, It Pays To Be On Welfare

Media Continues to Ignore Mounting Evidence of Voter Fraud

Making A Case For Conservatism

Favorite Political Quotations

God Bless America

Failures of the Obama Administration

Movie Review

Ron Paul For President

Movie Review

AUBURN TIGERS: BCS CHAMPIONS

Cam Newton Conspiracy

Cam Newton 4 Heisman!!!!

Best Movies of 2010...So Far

Best Albums of 2010...So Far

The Hypocrisy of College Football

International Travel Journal

Favorite iPhone Applications

Washington Redskins Season Preview

The Brilliant Mind of Charlie Kaufman

Deep....Quotes

Auburn Tigers Football Preview

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Review

Why I Love Music

Music speaks what can't be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from the heavens to your soul.

- Anonymous

1. Explosions in the Sky- Your Hand In Mine

2. Explosions in the Sky- Six Days At the Bottom of the Ocean

3. This Will Destory You- Burial at the Presidio Banks

4. This Will Destroy You- Three Legged Workhorse

5. God is an Astronaut- Golden Sky

6. God is an Astronaut- Shining Through

7. Mogwai- Auto Rock

8. Mogwai- We're No Here

9. Hammock- Breathturn

10. Liquid Mind- Whisper To Me