I'm Making It Day by Day!

Welcome Back, Me!

2016-09-06T20:58:00.000-07:00

Welcome Back Me!

Take 2

Second Attempt to make a new blog post - lol!

Well, it seems that there are a lot of new things about Blogger that I don't know about in the intervening years since I last posted. I am going to try this post again and see how it goes.

Well, the years have been exciting. The years have been trying. I have been living the old Chinese Curse:

May you live in interesting times

Living in interesting times is not a completely bad thing. There are always new things a-happenin'. There are always new stories to tell. Most important, living in interesting times tests my adaptability and my response to the world around me. I live in interesting times. I am adapting. I am evolving as a person. I am growing.

Things could be worse.

Those of you closest to me know that I lost my Mother last November. It's official. I'm an orphan.

The loss of Mom turned out to be far more traumatic than I would have imagined. But I will leave that post for another time. Mom and I had a very difficult relationship. I spoke to her doctor about a month after Mom passed. We spoke at length about Mom's issues and what took her out. We spoke about Mom in general. We spoke about my guilt for allowing her to pass. Her doctor's take on the whole thing?

Mom and I had a very difficult relationship. Children of problematic parents often are racked with guilt after they pass. I am not unusual.

Also,

Mom often complained about how I had abandoned her. However, Dr. Davis knew that I hadn't. In fact, her take on it was that Mom had abandoned me. She was exactly right. Mom abandoned me when I was very young. Mom continued to draw me in and then abandon me right to the end. When it became clear that she was not going to survive the last round of hospitalization and she could still understand but not communicate anymore, I forgave her for everything she ever did to me. I also told her that I hoped she could find it in her heart to forgive me for the things she felt I had done to her. She gave me a look like she hated me, but I have no idea whether she meant it or it was just something that the continuing strokes caused. My gut feeling was that she meant it, but it doesn't matter. She was gone three days later, I had said what I needed to say, and although I would have liked to have come to some sort of conclusion to our relationship before she left, she was never capable of that and to expect things to be any different was to wish for pie-in-the-sky.

May you live in interesting times.

I am taking lots of beading classes. My work has ascended far beyond the average beader and I am a designer now. A designer who is starting to be noticed and responded to by the Bead Masters who I am starting to see more and more often.

I have taken classes this year with:

Laura McCabe - Beguiling Blossoms

Nancy Cain Mezzaluna and Lantern Jewel

Anja Schlotman Fall at Blanches

Huib Peterson - Creature Feature

Kinga Nichols - Zeno, The Tiniest Fishy

Aimee Runs With Scissors

and more... I just can't remember at the moment.

I also participated monthly at Creative Castle in the Bead Embroidery Independent Study Workshop.

I still have the following scheduled:

Sherri Sanchez - Mosaic Rock

Diane Dennis - Under The Dome

Shelley Nybakke - Cover Me With Kisses and Bit O' Bling

Heather Kingsley Heath - Oculi

Have I mentioned that I am excelling in beading and striving to learn as much as I can as fast as I can?

I live in interesting times.

Gabby broke her back being bucked off of her horse, Aladdin. Just as she was ready to start competing seriously for the first time in many years. She had never had a fall like this before, and although she is going to be just fine, I fear that the fall has unnerved her. I am praying that she gets back to her horse quickly and there are still a couple of horse shows this year at the new location her trainer, Sandie Springer, just moved to. We are now at Hansen Dam Equestrian Center - for three days - and I hope that the drama stops for us now and Gabby can get a new start. She deserves a break, and not in her back.

I live in interesting times.

Life is not bad.

More to come on another day.

Horse meets Cupcake

2015-06-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

When you've shown your horse for the second time ever, the second time you've shown in 18 months, the first time you've shown away from your home barn, the first time you've shown in grown-up classes, and turn in a very credible performance, then there's only one thing to do. Celebrate!

We're all very proud of Gabby for beginning her come-back into the horse show world. Gabby is very proud of Aladdin. And we recognize that the two of them are going to be a formidable team to beat.

In this special moment, after her classes were completed, Gabby chose to share a cupcake of celebration with Aladdin. He had never eaten a cupcake before.

First Bite... all icing!

Huh?

O.M.G.!

Wait. I need to think about this.

SUGAR! Pure, unadulterated SUGAR!

I'm supposed to like sugar. Need to think...

This is not like sugar cubes or peppermints!

Need to think.

What the hell?

Please Mom, can I try that again?

C'm on Mom! I liked it. I really did. Can I try it again?

SUGAR! Diabetic glaze coming over my eyes.

Let me get the icing out from between my teeth. Then can I have another bite?

THANK YOU MOM!

Aladdin actually DID like his cupcake. He kept going back again and again to eat it all up. The faces are all about that sugar shock when the first thing you taste is icing.

We love you Aladdin! We won't try any more new foods on you for a while. Promise!

A Rose By Any Other Name...

2013-09-27T09:15:00.002-07:00

Juliet:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Truer words than these written by Shakespeare have never been written, but as in many aspects of life in this new age of technology, some things can come obsolete. While Juliet's words are true for life and living, they do not fit into the world of the internet.

When Eric and I decided to go forward with our web based Craft Gallery, the first order of business was to decide on a name. In the old order of brick and mortar stores, this aspect of the new business could wait until later and you could go ahead and plan your inventory, design your locations, and start "building your house." But when dealing with e-commerce on line, it's all about bringing people into your site. Unlike "real life" where you can locate yourself well and create a facade that your potential customers hopefully will drive/walk by and be inticed to come in, on the internet, it is a difficult task to place yourself in the right "location." That is, on the first page of a Google Search for what you have to offer. Your shop, if not high up in Google Rankings, can go forever un-noticed, and many web based businesses fail only because of this.

I had no idea about any of this when we started our venture. Fortunately, Eric is a computer and especially an Internet Expert, and knew to start by searching out words for "Search Engine Optimization (SEO)". Mostly Eric, but me too, looked for words associated with an art gallery that might specialize in fine Crafts as well as some traditional art.

It was difficult. The examples of how to do this task always seemed to use dog supplies as a model to make it look easy, but if you look up Crafts or Handmade, or Gallery, you will find a hodge-podge of web sites that have nothing to do with what we are intent on doing on the front pages of Google. Fortunately, there are other ways of getting high ranking when developing a web site or web based business, but we are still going to have to use wording to help us and you find us. And this is where, my readers that are clearly my friends as according to the Blogger Stats, I had 72 visits yesterday after not posting for two years, and only having put up two blog posts in the past two days, I need your help.

Suppose you were looking for a shop to buy handmade crafts... something that was special and different than the norm (like Etsy). If you were to look for something like our shop, what would you type into the search bar? We hope to carry a diverse assortment of handmade items including jewelry - of course - but ceramics, fiber arts, soaps, glass work, knit wear, journals, leather work, and more. If you would be so kind as to tell me what you might use, even if it is a repeat from somebody who (I hope) might have already used the search terms, I would be ever grateful.

But back to that rose. We are close to putting the web site, unfinished though it might be, into a location where you can see what is going on. (Right now it is hidden under a domain name which will remain secret.) We needed to settle on a name so that we could obtain the domain and server space.

I came up with a number of names, as did Eric. Some were better than others; some not good at all. Once you figure out a name, though, then you have to search the internet (through a process that I won't bore you with) to see if it's available or already been taken. We bought some of the names that we thought might be usable (it's very inexpensive to just buy a domain name and Eric has been, over the years I've known him, collecting them as he thinks of something funny, useful, or both.) but we were not really fully happy with any of them. Nothing we could find in our SEO searches really seemed to be what we were looking for. And then Eric thought of a name that I really liked.

"Handmade by Design"

The problem was it was already taken! But when we tried to look the site up on line, there was nothing there. Just like Eric, somebody else had thought of this name and reserved, surely with the idea of selling it later. And so Eric looked for the person or broker who might be handling this name and contacted him.

The original price asked was prohibitive. I was ready to drop the name immediately and try to think of something else. But again, Eric who is very smart and wise, told me to wait. He made an offer for the name that was far below what was being asked. They came back with a counter offer far above what we would be willing to pay, and we let it sit for a while. A long while.

Meanwhile, Eric kept working away at the web site. He had originally used "Handmade by Design" as the working title, but changed it to "American Traditional High Heeled Folk Dancing". That got a giggle out of me. He started to test some of the functionality systems including actually purchasing and checking out through the shopping cart. The first thing he offered for sale was Miles holding up basil plants... a picture from his 5th grade science project, and called the item "Boy With Basil." That got an actual laugh out of me, not only for the item itself, but because he was asking far too much for the product. Certainly, as the purchaser realized who they had bought, they might have second thoughts and try to return Miles! I love Miles dearly and would never let him go, but he has some personality quirks that are quite difficult to live with.

Miles is damned cute, isn't he?

A month went by without us countering the offer on Handmade. And then Eric, after a Crafts show we attended so I could look for more artists who might be interested in participating and who met our specifications, suddenly asked me if we should go back to negotiating on the name.

It was the best name I could think of; I have an intuition that our site is going to work and work well and we will be very happy running it, but if for some odd reason, we decide we don't want it anymore, it was a name that went with a working site that I believed would help it sell so we could recoup our money. And so I told him that we should go for it.

Eric negotiated and negotiated all this week. And by the end of yesterday, we were the proud owners of the domain name, "Handmade By Design"!

I've long thought in the back of my mind that running a dot com might be fun, especially one that would bring me in contact with artists of a like mind as me. It's an opportunity not only to establish a business for myself above and beyond what jewelry I can produce (beading is a slow speed sport anyway and with the elbow/hand, I'm slower than ever) which could make some money for our family to live on, but it's also a wonderful opportunity to help my artist friends get exposure and sales for their own work. If this venture works the way I envision it, it will be good for everyone!

And now again, my friends, if you can think of any terms you might use to search out an on line gallery that sold hand made crafts, you might leave your ideas in the Comments, I will be very happy and grateful.

Thank you so much for coming back and taking in my musings.

xoxoxoxo

Laura

A Break in My Life

2013-09-26T09:22:00.003-07:00

Pre Purchase Pic

I am hard at work these days. I finally mostly adjusted to being married with a family , and I'm figuring out how to carve time in my schedule for myself. It turned out to be as simple as everybody advised. Just schedule activities and go do them. But that's not an easy thing for me to do... I tend to get caught up in family dramas and then am disappointed to miss get-together s and all the things that I need outside of my daily life. Despite the best of intentions, I've lost track of many of my old friends. But the good ones, and I mean the really good ones, are very forgiving of me without a second thought, and I even accomplished a spin in at my home a couple weeks ago with another scheduled for October. When Eric and I found this masterpiece of home last year, I immediately thought that this is the home of my dreams. It's very functional; almost everything works, but it still is eccentric as can be. It's definitely a place to have friends, groups, meetings, and parties at. I thought that this is the perfect place to create a repeat of what my friend Garen has done with her home in Hollywood, but in the valley! So I hear you asking..why is it that I only had my first friends over a couple weeks ago?

Pre Purchase Pic

Although I come over as eccentric as can be and fairly self secure, one thing that really bothers me is physical chaos in the home. Fact: when we moved in on New Year's Eve, we needed six moving trucks. That's right, SIX, and they were stuffed to the gills! That's a lot of unpacking to do.

Then in April I had a terrible accident on a stupid hike that nothing should ever had happened on. Not only was my elbow shattered into 67 places, requiring all sorts of metal and screws, cadaver bone, tendons, wire,and I don't even know what else,

but the CRPS that I was given in my right ankle, foot, and leg so long ago leaped into my arm and hand. Even without the CRPS, it was questionable how much use I was going to have of the arm again. I was warned to do nothing. Not even get out of bed. This was a command from the doctor that operated on me and strong advice from all the other medical professionals who were treating me for any of my ailments. The injury itself was so critical that I was not even allowed to ride in a car. The vibrations from the road alone could shake the elbow pieces apart and they could not be repaired again. There were so many tiny pieces but not everything was even able to be glued let alone bolted together. And although those of you who know me well know that I did not stop in my activities and ignored his advice to certain extent, the injury slowed me down significantly.

Additionally, I had to reassociate myself with the pain management center at Cedars-Sinai for weekly nerve blocks. Which I am still receiving. I just couldn't get the house in good enough shape to have people over; at least in my mind. But finally do to diligence and a lot of hard work even though we're not completely unpacked, the fact is I'm comfortable inviting my friends now and the truth is they wouldn't have minded if I have had them over and in the massive chaos. I clearly need to work on these insecurities still with my therapist.

Not only have I broken through the barrier heating me from having people into the home, but I've also recently learned to get out. I started taking classes at Creative Castle again; a wonderful beading store that brings in master level teachers to teach working artists as well as beginners how to do what they do better. The staff are all incredibly generous and giving people; incredibly knowledgeable in beading and arts of all sorts, and. I love each and every one of them dearly. This weekend, in fact, I will be taking a class from Huib Peterson and I will be learning how to make his eternity necklace.

(You should know that my hand is still not functioning well enough to type, so I'm writing these posts by using the dictation function on my i Pad. I had to correct the description of the
necklace by hand as the microphone he insists that eternity is attorney. I am NOT making an attorney necklace no matter how famous the teacher is! I hope my attorney friends forgive me for the statement.) I can bead again, albeit slowly. But the important thing is that I am free to enjoy the process.

For years since I've been married, I've lamented not being able to get out of the house and do activities, and reconnect with my friends on my own. Eric advised me to just go and forget what's happening here, but I couldn't do it. But something happened a couple of months ago and suddenly I found the strength to take classes again. I'm not sure quite what that something is but I'm glad that it came to me. I feel like I've gone from being dead inside to my old self being partly alive. Mind you I will never be the person who I was again. I love being married to Eric and I love our children. To be completely my old self is to be single and I don't want that in any way, shape, or form. While I still struggle with some aspects of married life,I love my life as it is and wouldn't go back to the old for ANYTHING!

Right after I broke my arm,though, you should know that there was a question whether the arm would be functional at all or even if I would keep it! I have a very good track record of healing from orthopedic injuries and maintained a positive attitude, but this was an injury far beyond anything I've ever done to myself before. I've been incredibly lucky. Despite limitations that are likely here for life the arm and hand is mostly functional and I can move on. But during those dark days when people were warned me not to get my expectations too high, I couldn't even fathom not being in the art world anymore. And, as usual, my mind took a left turn to find a solution. Being eccentric is not a bad thing. All it is is having a different way of analyzing problems and coming up with solutions. And boy was it helpful in this case!

Eric and I discussed my idea. You see, Eric was starting up on his business too,that would include making and revamping websites. Remember the old craze of flipping houses? Eric is going to be a website flipper. And my plan was a great way to start.

We will both worked very hard and found a perfect website template to start with. Eric is hard at work right now creating an online art gallery focusing on crafts for me to operate. This is perfect for both of us ... a business that we co-ventured into together! This idea utilizes our greatest strengths cooperatively in a most marvelous way. I will be talking about the steps we've already gone through and what we are doing to make this dream come true. Our plans are to have a bare-bones stripped-down Gallery open by mid to end of October,and then continue adding all sorts of bells and whistles to it into next year until it is a place that artists will die to be represented in and shoppers will love to visit. I love Etsy and I love many of the art galleries I've seen online, but this one is going to be very different and much more personal. But that's all I'm going to talk about in this venture right now... Except that this blog will be moving to the new website as one of its features in the very near future.

Please don't worry, I promise that all the best of what I have here will come with us. I will be merging some of the other blogs that I maintained - or better not yet not maintained - here into this blog too so my blogspot site will not exist anymore. ButI will leave instructions behind how to find us and it should be a positive experience for all. There was so much to talk about it when we get to the new site there will be more yet! Just wait-and-see!!!!

And now I need to go start the day. I will write at you later!

Bye, but just fOr a little while.

A Tale of Three Doctors

2013-09-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

Having grown up as a doctors Daughter, have a healthy respect -ahem, or lack thereof - for doctors. They are often taken aback by my participation in the treatment plans as well as my willingness to discuss their personal lives and to tease them. I consider them only my equal; not somebodies exempt from my personal style or views on life. Eric and I especially enjoy teasing Dr. M- . You see he has three daughters and we are happy to let him know what the future is going to be like for him. We talk about how expensive it will be for him to maintain three horses and a full horse show schedule. And about girls and their needs to each have their own bathroom. Our predictions are quite unsettling for him, especially because he can recognize the truth when he hears it and knows that we speak from experience that he does not yet have.

Yes, Eric enjoys teasing doctors too! How lucky am I? And now, on to the stories.

Number 1

Man of a certain age have to visit the urologist more frequently than younger men,

and Eric's at that age. He recently got a new doctor who of course put him in all the usual man positions, and examined him while talking about shopping in Beverly Hills. Then, his dialogue changed as he got down to business.

"Are you interested in sex? " He asked. Of course this was just a normal urological question, but he repeated it over and over again. How is your sex drive? Do you like having sex? Are you interested in sex?

Finally, Eric couldn't take it anymore. Bent over and in the position, he heard the doctor again ask "are you interested in sex?" Eric stood up abruptly, turned around to face the doctor, and loudly proclaimed, "Not with YOU!"

Number 2

Again Eric and this time and the dermatologist office. He had just had a growth taken off of his nose. The doctor assured him that it was not cancerous and everything was going to be fine. And then he made his fatal comment. He said "You are not going to die."

Startled, Eric had only one response. "Ever?"

Number 3

I have been treated by Dr. Rodney Bluestone for a very long time. He is world famous for his work genetics and I'm very lucky to see him. I find him intensely funny, especially when he does not intend to be funny. You see he is very sure of himself in a way that only somebody who has made a massive change in the world of medicine could be. He dresses eccentrically and in my opinion delightfully. I can't wait to see what kind of tie or socks or jewelry he's wearing on any particular visit! I know he enjoys me commenting on his clothing and he displays it proudly for me. Like a proud peacock! Again I enjoy seeing him immensely.

Today I had wonderful news for him. Not only was I doing well, but a piece of jewelry on which I had worked on in his office had taken a silver medal in an international beading competition and was on the back cover of a magazine! I brought both the necklace and the magazine to show him. He was impressed and even more impressed that I would've ever imagined him capable of being. And then I dropped the bombshell on him.

How it happened is for another story, but I have named two of my jewelry lines after two of my other doctors. I wanted to know if it was ok with him if I named a line after him! After all he had saved my life too, and more than one occasion. He looked really proud as he gave me permission.

Of course we were going to have to figure out what to call the line and what the product was going to be. I suggested that it could be something with Bluestone in it and could be related to my work in the color blue. But then at the very moment, inspiration took hold of me. "Of course, limiting you to work in just one color or style doesn't really capture who you are." I went on. And it came out of my mouth before I even had a chance to think about it.

"I'd like to call your line 'Rocking Rodney' and have it be my really edgy, cutting edge, and flamboyant stuff... The kind of work you'd see on the red carpet!" I then held my breath (fortunately for only about half a second) as I waited for his response. He burst into laughter and quickly spun away from me so I couldn't see him blush! Almost as quickly, he cleared his complexion and spun back, still laughing. HE LOVED IT! In fact, he called his daughter who works for him,over to hear the idea immediately,and then spread the news all over the office.

All of his employees loved the fact that I had pitched this idea, too. And not only because Dr. Bluestone was delighted by it. Many of them told me they had never seen a patient "get" him like that before. They confided to me that none of them would have the nerve. And here, I was only doing what I do naturally.

I already have ideas about what Jewelry will be in his name. I can't wait to put it out there.

But I think the best moment was when his daughter,Kate, came to me and told me a secret...that she teases him like that all the time. In fact, it turns out that she has a special name for him.

She calls her father "Hot Rod".

The Topanga Gallery 2012 Juried Open

2012-01-15T13:35:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends,

Some of you I see often; others are always on my mind even as we are not currently in communication. I wanted to share fantastic news with all of you and extend an invitation.

I submitted a piece of my work to the Topanga Gallery in Topanga Canyon for their Juried Open 2012 competition and was selected as one of 51 artists who's work is on display. There is going to be a reception there on Sunday, January 22 from 2pm to 5pm; I would love to see any or all of you if you are not involved in anything else that day and could see your way clear to join me. There will be refreshments served and if I am very lucky, maybe my piece will be sold and you won't have a chance to see it - lol!

If you live in the Los Angeles area and would like to come, here is a link for more information: http://www.topangacanyongallery.com/index.html

http://www.topangacanyongallery.com/index.html

I surely hope to see you there!

Laura

Fight or Flight

2011-12-17T08:14:00.000-08:00

The best and the worst thing about the internet is that once you put something out there, it's there forever. You can delete it, but in fact it's still there as back-up on the server level, and also often there are other trails that are easy to follow if anyone is actually interested. That's why it's standard advice these days that kids be made very aware of what they are posting so that later, when they try to get jobs, what they are saying now is not held against them.

In addition, if you are using the internet, you can and will be found if somebody wants to know what you are saying and where. It's not hard, and no blocks or filters can keep anyone out who is determined to peek into your life. That's a fact, and you don't know who's looking, or for how long until they choose to expose themselves.

I have learned just how powerful and dangerous this tool called the world wide web can be. Things written in innocence can be misconstrued and opinions can be formed about who someone is when you, in truth, really have no idea. You only see what they write, and most people take on a persona of one sort or another when they are in a blog, on Facebook, or wherever. You can't really know what the person is really all about until you get to know them in person, and sadly - for today's generation, most of their social interactions are over the computer and they really don't know who they are playing with!

There's another aspect, though, too. As I mentioned above, the internet is forever. The internet is accessible. You cannot hide on the internet no matter what you might think. If you don't want your friends - or enemies - to find you, you shouldn't be putting it out there in the first place. But it's also a sad statement about somebody's personality that they feel that they need to even hide what they are doing! What's so terrible that they can't stand up and let the world see? Are they criminals? Are they doing something outside of the social moray? Are they just cowards?

I, for one, don't hide. I don't block people from my accounts, I don't run and hide. I am not an ostrich hiding my head in the sand. I've learned some hard lessons from the internet, but I've faced them and stood up to them. I continue to do so, and to take responsibility for my words and actions. I don't always like what I've learned - about myself or others - but I know that to be sneaky and serrupticious is the hallmark of those who are not self confident; are not really interested in growing.... learning... changing, and I always want to do all of those things!

I pity those who can't come to terms with who they really are and feel the need to hide rather than stand up and be seen with pride.

A Picture's Worth 1000 Words!

2011-12-11T15:01:00.000-08:00

Right from the start, I struggled with taking pictures of my jewelry. Step by step, I went through levels of discovery and started to put out pretty decent pictures. But all of that changed about a week ago when I finally figured WHAT the different settings on my camera meant and how to use them effectively. I'd keep writing but instead, I'm just going to share some older pictures (like a month ago) vs some I took today. Amazing, the difference!!!!!

I was so pleased with these pictures when I took them. But look what I achieved today!

Colors brighter; image sharper without any digital intervention at all!

Then:

Today:

Colors sharp, and you can see the depth of the focal bead!

Then:

Today:

You get a feel for the variegated colors within the focal heart, and also of the thickness/substance of this focal bead. Also, this picture shows off the beautiful filigree bail effectively.

This quantum leap did not happen on it's own. I am a huge believer in continuing education; not necessarily formal but steady and from a variety of sources. I take classes, I get together with friends and compare notes, I look at You-Tube and other "how to" sites, and I subscribe to magazines. The magazine that helped me the most with my photography was "The Crafts Report" which bills itself as "The Business Resource of Artists and Retailers." It's a small magazine with a minimum of advertising and articles that seemed too simplistic as I first received this publication, but over time have come to appreciate the straight-forward information on a variety of subjects within the artist's world including how to set up displays at shows, pricing, success stories, and a number of other "departments" including my personal favorite of the moment, CRAFT Photography by Steve Meltzer. The information is so easy to follow, the tips so simple and yet so profound, and the accessories he suggests to improve pictures are all so do-able that it was only a matter of time after I understood he was there that my pictures moved forward.

The only issue with this entire learning curve is now I am dissatisfied with many of my old pictures and hate to take the time to re-shoot jewelry. On the other hand, the pictures I take will be of items not moved, and who knows if it was just because the colors were not good or they weren't sharp enough that they did not sell.

Oh, but to have 48 hours in every day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

Our turkey's in the oven, most of the side dishes made. Now I'm starting to prepare the vegetables for my prize-winning "Chicken Pot Pie Soup" and will make it using the leftover turkey instead of chicken, as soon as the table is cleared. It will make a wonderful meal tomorrow!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!!!!

And the Winning Bunny Cage Is....

2011-11-23T10:32:00.000-08:00

Trixie Natura 3 Story Rabbit Hutch

Item#: TXE013

Ordered today; it's scheduled to deliver on December 5, FREE SHIPPING!

Since Gigi lives indoors, we've already decided that the best way to handle the open bottom is to get some floor tiling; enough to set the cage on top, and then cover it with a rug of some sort. Since Gigi has proven herself to be fully housebroken, we don't anticipate any issues if she decides to use the bottom as her bathroom.

We're very excited to see how she likes her new home, and if the ramps don't prove to be too steep for them to climb, we will consider another of the same for the Guinea Pigs! I would love to see side-by-side town homes - lol!

Thank Heavens For Little Girls!

2011-11-22T17:50:00.000-08:00

After Janet passed away, since she had lived such a short mousey life, I decided to take our Vet's advice and bring Miles Robo Hamsters home as his new pets. They are very tiny, weighing in at only 2/3 Janet The Mouse's highest weight of 36 grams. They are fast, cute, and very funny. But they are not holding types of hamsters. They're more of a view and be amazed kind of pet.

It's amazing that I even got this one clear picture. I must have taken over 100 of them... all grey blurs. That is, when the hamsters were in the lens at all by the time the mechanics of the machine worked and the aperture opened up. Yes, they really are that fast!

They didn't work out so well for Miles. First, after the initial excitement wore off, he was sad that he didn't have pets that were slow enough to hold. Additionally, Ralph-The-Cat was able to get hold of one that escaped it's cage (that's a story... the cage was locked up tight and there was no place for that hamster to escape, but I have my theory as to how it got out which will remain internalized until such time as I have some proof) and we were down to two.

Miles wanted a different kind of hamster... one that was slow enough to hold, and after we finished the Pizza Party for his Little League Football Championship Game, we went next door to Kahoots to look at the animals. We looked at lizards and snakes, mice and rats, and finally the hamsters. Even the birds. But Miles was drawn to the pen that held the bunnies and Guinea Pigs. He was particularly transfixed by a very sweet Lop Ear Rabbit, and that's when he announced that he would rather have a bunny than a hamster.

I thought that was actually a good idea, and told Eric so! Bunnies are bigger and tougher than small rodents, and if you get the right breed, they're friendly, fun, and interesting. They can bond as well as a dog or cat, and again, if you get the right one, they will be housebroken and use a litter pan in their cage for their business. So Miles was estatic as we agreed that he would have a rabbit as his next pet, although a little disappointed that we would not buy him the lop. But as we saw it, there was no reason that we could not go to the animal shelter and get a rescue as soon as we bought it a house. We decided to look and see what they had at the store... and were astounded by this model:

Available at Kahoots but also on Amazon.com at http://www.amazon.com/Super-Pet-Rabbit-Hutch-2-Story/dp/B004E8MEDK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1322009014&sr=8-1

Thank goodness for our I-phones, though! We were quickly able to see that they charged too much for this particular model, as much as we were taken by it, and decided to pass at that moment. Miles, devastated, kept a stiff upper lip, but was shocked when I said that there was really no reason that we couldn't go to the pound and rescue one right away anyway. And even Eric was surprised at the solution.

We had found a wire dog crate at the side of the road in our neighborhood quite some time ago, and had never even finished cleaning it. It has been laungishing at the front of our property, and every time I saw it, I had a pange of regret and guilt because it was a wonderful cage that just needed a little TLC, and also it made the front yard look messy. I suggested we could quickly clean it up and it would make a fantastic temporary house for a bunny until we could settle on a final choice, and with that, Eric took Gabby home while Miles & I headed directly for the West Valley Animal Shelter.

They had about 20 rabbits there, and Miles was mortified. After all, he is very sensitive and was quite aware - without prompting - that to take one of them was to risk the rest of their lives. He had a very hard time choosing one out, but finally made a 1st and 2nd choice. As soon as we learned that choice #2 had already been spay and could come home the same day, he changed his mind, and that's how Gigi came to live with us!

She is an English Angora bunny, which means that when her hair grows long, she will make a great fiber source for the spinning that I thought I had given up. In addition, they are very quiet and friendly bunnies, bred to be handled for their wool, and large enough to have a fighting chance against Ralph, who has become quite the hunter since his initial success.

We are being very careful with Gigi, but we let her outside of her cage to play a couple of times a day when the dogs are outside and the cat is locked up.

The funniest thing is that she is quite curious about her neighbors, the Guinea Pigs "Charlie (Manson)" and "Jeffrey (Dahmer)" - because anything that cute and sweet and harmless needed to be named after mass murderers, and the Pigges are curious about her too.

Miles is delighted by a pet that can play on it's on as well as be held and cuddled.

...and for the cage issue? We've found that the crate is working wonderfully as a temporary house while we consider our options. Gigi turns out to be fully housebroken and hasn't had an accident since we installed a littler tray in her house.

And we're puzzling over which house to buy her. We did some exploration on the internet after we came home, and knowing that she is just fine where she is at for a while, we're taking our time in making a choice for her permanent abode. Some of the homes which we are considering are:

http://www.amazon.com/Ware-01517-Premium-Penthouse/dp/B001AT9P2Y/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1322009014&sr=8-4

http://www.amazon.com/Trixie-62321-Natura-2-Story-Rabbit/dp/B000WFFZCG/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1322009014&sr=8-7

Advantek High Rise Rabbit Hutch

http://www.amazon.com/Advantek-High-Rise-Rabbit-Hutch/dp/B004FN4AFO/ref=sr_1_21?ie=UTF8&qid=1322010488&sr=8-21

Ware Premium + Bunny Cottage


http://www.amazon.com/Ware-01535-Premium-Bunny-Cottage/dp/B002QT8I5W/ref=sr_1_55?ie=UTF8&qid=1322010727&sr=8-55

Expandable Hoppity Habitat Rabbit Cage


http://www.amazon.com/Expandable-Hoppity-Habitat-Rabbit-Cage/dp/B002J697IE/ref=sr_1_1?s=pet-supplies&ie=UTF8&qid=1322011099&sr=1-1 and yes, if we go this route, we'll get at least two to connect together and maybe three.

There were even more cages of interest, but they were just too big because we also need to re-house the Guinea Pigs and we have limited floor space available to all these animals. But who knew that there were so many options?

If anyone has any opinions of these different houses or better yet, has used one or another, we'd love to hear from you about it. And, of course, we always love hearing from you anyway!

But for now, Gigi already thinks she has hit it big, but doesn't have a clue what is in her future. :D

Thanksgiving Shopping 2011, Round 1

2011-11-20T23:37:00.000-08:00

It was a dark and stormy day.


View from Eric's car of the Farmer's Market.

Not a joke. It was pouring rain this morning, and instead of getting up early to go to the Farmer's Market - the first time in a long time - to buy our vegetables for Thanksgiving, we slept in. At 9:00, I finally got up, and Eric followed me at 9:30. We puttered around a bit, getting dressed, then Eric asked me the question on both of our minds. "Do you think anyone will be at the Farmer's Market today with all this rain?"

I answered with more assurance than I felt. Maybe I was a bit delusional. "Sure they'll be there, even with the rain. Do you think they're going to miss the last weekend day of selling before Thanksgiving? No way!"

Well, like I said in my last post, sometimes being delusional is a good thing, for when we got in the car and drove there, stopping only at the ATM for cash money, pretty-much all the vendors were there with their wares set up. Gorgeous vegetables... equally as gorgeous fruits! Breads and pastries and sauces and Hummus. The crowd's spirits were dampened, but our regular vendor's attitudes were that of fortitude, and we bought more than we should have because it's Thanksgiving and they're vegetables, and we appreciated these fine folks being out there in the rain despite the obvious reasons not to be.

A couple of my favorite vendors:

There are many MANY more booths that I frequent every single time I'm out too, although most of them don't have big, pretty banners like these.

Look at the colors of the market today. Unbelievable!

All of this makes me very glad that I live in Southern California, even on days like this:

But although today's weather did not dampen our Holiday Spirit one bit, we do have some dark clouds ahead, in the name of a Costco run, and also, the turkey we are currently defrosting was in Eric's freezer for three whole years! There is no expiration date on the bird, but we have no idea whether it will prove to be good or not when the time comes to prepare it for the feast.

Before Costco, though, we have to go to a regular supermarket, and also Whole Foods. Food for thought, food for intuition and blogging, and food for an army. Thank goodness we live in a state of plenty, where the children have the option of turning their noses up at vegetables and we don't have to eat the turkey if it's anything less than perfection. Our family has a lot to be thankful for.

Spinning Navajo Style!

2011-11-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

At WeFF, the plan was only to buy things pertinent to my business. A button to be used as a pendant in a necklae here.

A couple of books.

A skein of silk Ribbon "yarn" to be used in a different style of necklace.

I didn't plan to buy anything related to spinning at all. After all, at the moment, it isn't for me. But I passed a booth by Rancho Borrego Negro, a beautiful booth that had the most wonderful Navajo Spindles ever, and I was mesmerized. Navajo spinning is different than than other forms. The spindle is very large, and I mean VERY large, and I had heard that all you could make was chunky yarn on it. That is, until Eric took that Navajo Weaving class last April and I learned from the sisters - and saw them demonstrate - that you could make yarn at any WPI, and in fact, most of the yarn that they put out was drop dead gorgeous and fit for sweaters, not just for their very beautiful rugs. I asked them to send me a spindle (which I would pay for, of course); they promised they would but they never did... They are world famous for their work and I suppose they just got caught up in other things and forgot.

Well I forgot too. That is, until I saw those amazing spindles at WeFF in the Rancho Borrego Negro booth.. They were made of exotic woods, and when I played with them, they were balanced beautifully. I did not try to actually spin on them as I was not there to buy spinning equipment, but I was drawn back to them over and over again!


Kathy and, I think, her husband in their 2010 Weff Booth

And then I found that special spindle. The one with a little extra weight... the one who's balance is so perfect that one turn will keep it spinning for a very long time... the one made of an exotic African Wood. And I lusted after it and walked away and back and away again. Bought the button that I pictured above, And lamented internally about that spindle.

"This is ridiculous!" I thought to myself. "You're just succumbing to your old habit of buying hand spindles. You have tons of different spindles at home and never use them. You don't need this spindle!" And yet it called my name.

And wouldn't you know it. The one that I loved the most was also the most expensive one on display, albeit only $10 more than it's siblings. Eric must have seen the dilema in my eyes. Also, since he is weaving Navajo Style, it would be fun for him if I spun him the yarn using a Navajo Spindle. But mostly, I think that he just felt my pain and decided to be an Enabler. "Buy it!" he said. As I resisted, he insisted. "Buy it! You want it! There's no reason you can't have it." And in the end, I did.

Navajo Spindle and basket of Romney in the foreground; Sophie in the background.

Kathy suggested that I e-mail her and ask for links to YouTube to teach me how to spin Navajo style. I laughed, saying that I had spun for many years and although this spindle looks a little different, I'm sure I would pick it up quickly. Then Kathy and her husband both laughed and told me to e-mail them. I have not, yet, to date, done it.

I did, however, look at one You Tube video on the subject all on my own, and I figured that I could do this, so as I always do, I just charged ahead and started to spin. Guess What? It wasn't as easy as it looks!

First, the video I saw suggested not using a leader line to spin with. I listened to them, and just put gobs and gobs of roving on the spindle instead. This method actually worked, but I'm sure I'm missing something because it took way longer than it did in the video. Then for the spinning proper.

Yes, some of the roving is peach. I experimented with a new dye on a small portion of the roving. Is it Navajo Colored? Not really, except that it was spun on a Navajo Spindle and I guess that makes it a Navajo color, whether traditional or not.

Navajo spinning really IS quite different than spinning with a drop spindle. First, you don't have the weight and gravity working in your favor, the spindle freefalling so that you can use both hands to attenuate the fiber. Instead, you are rolling your spindle along your thigh with one hand (for me, my left) while working with the fiber with your right. I.e., the long draw is essential.

I have not done long draw spinning in many years, so it wasn't so easy to just pick up. Especially when my feet wanted to paddle but the spindle demanded that I roll it down my thigh. Spinning was like chewing gum and skipping and doing a hand-clap dance all at the same time!


The basket was purchased in 2003 at the New York Sheep and Wool Festival and I can't tell you who made it. I wish I could. I'd like to buy more of her baskets myself if only I knew who she was.

Then, of course, I did the dumb thing and used garbage roving to start off with. I knew better, but I did it anyway. Everyone knows that when you are teaching a new student to spin, start them off with the most wonderful prepared fiber you can find so that all they need to concentrate on is the actual method of spinning rather than fighting the fiber too. But Noooooooo, I had to use up the junk roving because I didn't want to throw it away and I knew that as my first practice skein,; it wouldn't matter how bad the yarn turned out. But I couldn't get it to spin right and eventually gave up and went with the Romney Roving, beautiful looking stuff that Mom pushed on me a couple of years ago.

Things went better then. At least until my single started breaking regularly and I discovered that the roving that looked so very fine actually had a lot of second cuts in it! You couldn't tell from the prepared fiber itself, but work with it and it's immediately apparent. On a regular wheel when I have both hands available, I would just pick those cuts out and continue on without hesitating, but it's not so easy when you're doing the long draw and are also focusing on spinning the spindle.

I removed a whole section of roving from my basket, and at that point, things started going better again. And I discovered a number of things.

You can spin almost as fast on a Navajo Spindle as you can on a wheel! That was an amazing discovery and very illuminating, as now I know why the Navajo still use their spindles when making their rugs. I didn't understand it before buying this spindle. Drop spindles are inherently very slow. This is not a drop spindle, and WOW! is all I have to say.

You can spin thick or thin on a Navajo Spindle, just as on a wheel. I have a feeling that with practice, I will also be able to control my singles just as well as on the wheel when doing the long draw, and be able to make designer yarns at will and with intention.

A Navajo Spindle will hold just as much single ply yarn as a moderate sized spool on a wheel, and maybe even more! The first is absolutely evident, and the second, based on how the tool works, is implied.

I have a feeling that when I go to ply, it's going to be more difficult than on a wheel because I will be forced to roll the spindle in the opposite direction on my thigh. I will post a report when I get that far. For now, I am still working on my first ball of single.

Finally, I think it may be a good idea not to be so brave and e-mail Kathy to get those YouTube links after all. While I have the basics down on my own, spinning - on a spindle or on a wheel - is all about the fine tuning, and I've got a long way to go to be attuned to my new toy.

But was I wrong to go off on my own before reviewing the video that they suggested? Some people might say I was delusional for giving it a try by myself, but I've been called that before, even very recently, and things still worked out well for me. They usually do. One person's delusion is another's dream that will develop into greatness!

For me, there is never a penalty for taking a bold stand and taking chances. If I make a mistake, it's an opportunity for learning. If I do it right the first time, then it's just plain sweet! Either road is just fine in the end. In this case, my experience was somewhere in the middle... I learned a lot and I learned that I have a lot to learn. But as my old friend Nancy G- used to say, "No Guts, No Glory." I'm glad that I'm brave enough to not stick my head in the sand, not hide from the world, and be willing to take chances. For in those chances is the opportunity to do something new and great, and the road always makes one hell of a good story.

PS - Delusion or a good idea? Watch this video and let me know what you think. Bottom line, though, is this spindle works and she's right. When she's done spinning, she can cook with it too!

Arte De Mexico

2011-11-18T22:34:00.000-08:00

I first learned of - and visited - Arte De Mexico some 20 years ago. I was amazed at this home decor location, a favorite of home decorators and designers from around the world, and quickly brought my parents back to see it. As a threesome, we frequented it often, and Dad occasionally made small purchases. His home was already museum quality, and there wasn't room for much more in the way of art, furniture, or other objects, but he was so mesmarized by this place that he couldn't stay away. Neither could I.

I never dreamed that I would someday own some of their amazing work. But the dream that never came has happened. Eric & I have finally bought new bedroom furniture, and from Arte International (the new name for Arte De Mexico as they bring things in from all over the world now, not just Mexico)... my old haunting grounds.

We've spent a good number of hours in the past week, going up and down their aisles and seeing everything they have to offer. The inventory itself has changed, but not the style or the high standards. I love this place so much that I have to share it with you. Enjoy the pictorial tour! (My apology for the sideways pictures... something is going wrong with the interface between my computer and blogspot again, but I knew you wouldn't want to miss anything, so please bear with it.)

I'll share more pictures with you later.

And as for our bedroom furniture? That's another post for another day, for some of it was in stock at the store, some of it is coming from the east coast, and the bed itself? Well, we bought a transom window which is going to be built into a custom bed for us, unlike anything we've ever even conceived of let alone seen!

We'll be back soon!

A Haiku

2011-11-13T07:12:00.000-08:00

Romantic last night
Making love by fire place
Sophie chews my shoe

WeFF and Camelot and then Today

2011-11-10T00:59:00.000-08:00

Every year on the first Sunday in November, the Southern California Handweavers hold their annual Fiber Festival at the Torrance Cultural Arts Center. This year was no exception.

Eric, Gabby, and Miles accompanied me in the late morning, and shortly after noon, we arrived.

As soon as I walked through those doors, I was accosted. One friend after the next stopped me, seemingly as thrilled to see me as I was them. I was ever so excited that Dave is moving only about a mile from where I live. I was extraordinarily happy to run into other great friends like Garen and Nancy, Shari, Ann, Helene, and so many others that I am going to stop naming them here as if I try to name them all, I'll forget somebody and that person will be hurt. But I love you all.

It was difficult to get any shopping done for everywhere I turned, I was engaged in another conversation. Eric even commented that he thought that I knew and was friends with every single person in the whole event; vendors and shoppers alike. And that was almost true. There were a couple of new vendors that I haven't had time to make friends with yet.

Then today, I took Gabby up to her horseback riding lesson for the first time in probably a couple of months. Issues of health have made the drive impossible, but other issues of timing made it impossible for her to go unless I bucked up and drove. And I was greeted there like a long-lost friend; a returning hero.

After all, I do know horses, even if it's been decades since I rode myself, and I am of like mind with the people in charge. I was so happy to see them and they were happy to see me too.

Finally, today, I had lunch with a long-lost friend who wasn't able to make it to our wedding reception, but she came armed with a beautiful wedding gift as well as a patient attitude as I spent some of our precious time together dealing with a crises that Miles was having at school. We picked up right where we left off despite the intervening weeks and months and over a year. That's a real friend for you.

When things seem bleak and I'm all alone, I just have to look back at this post and then remember this week. There are a lot of people who have got my back. Wonderful people. Lovely people. People with their heads on straight. They are patient as I work through the issues we have as a family, and love me all the more for seeing me succeed at a very hard transition. I thank you one-and-all for your steadfastness, and I look forward to having you over and entertaining you very soon.

xoxoxoxo

Family Matters: 10/ 14/2011, A Parade of Doggie Halloween Costumes

2011-10-17T08:47:00.000-07:00

It's October and with children, matters of Halloween have come up. What to wear as costumes is of prime importance to Miles, and Gabby, although she feigned indifference over the past couple of days, was originally excited at the concept of being a Peacock (perfect for her because she's so beautiful and no, I have not informed her the female peacocks are reserved and brown and it's their male counterparts that display the beautiful tail feathers), and now thinks that she will wear her riding clothes out for trick-or-treat. Although I loved the peacock idea, it could turn into something quite expensive and the riding idea not only will be something that we won't see coming and going, but she already has everything she needs on hand. Her prime directive there is to gather enough candy (aka inventory) to make a fortune on selling at school (the movement to remove candy and other sweet treats from the campus was stupid as the kids just bring it in and sell it anyway, taking profits out of Los Angeles Unified's pocket), so the less money spent on a costume, the better.

For Miles, all he wanted to be was a character out of Halo. Now he knows that Halo is not a game that I will allow back in this house again, but I agreed that if he wanted to be a character, I could live with it. Unfortunately, the only thing he has found in that area so far runs well into the $150 range and there's no way we're spending that much money on it, so I'm not sure what he has in mind.

We take the kids to an Ultimate Trick-Or-Treat zone in Calabasas, a very rich community just outside of Los Angeles, and we go to the "poor" zone where the houses only cost slightly over a million each, and they're long and narrow and set very close together. The candy they give out in that neighborhood reflects the generalized wealth of that area and because so many people visit them, a large number of the residents put on terrific displays and many even have shows!

Our own neighborhood, because the houses are large, set far apart, set far back on the properties, and most of which have fenced permiters, gets no trick-or-treat traffic at all, so that frees both Eric & I up to go with the kids. We enjoy that activity an awful lot.

Many people take their dogs out in that neighborhood when they take the kids, dogs in costume too. Last year we took Lucy, wearing her bunch-of-grapes costume. Sunny was just too old to participate in such a vigorous activity although he enjoyed wearing his costume during our wedding reception. I actually think he probably enjoyed having the entire house to himself while we were gone. I can't say that for sure, but Sunny was exceptionally intelligent and I know how I feel during those precious moments that I'm here alone. Free to do whatever I want... to be productive or to take a nap without interruption. But back onto topic.

This year we have Lucy and Sophie. Both dogs love to go places, Sophie is certainly young enough (and interested enough) to participate, and while we have the grape costumes on hand again, truth be told, my original idea for our wedding reception was for the dogs to wear skeleton costumes. Sadly, only one showed up, and that was not only too late for the reception, but for halloween as well. I was going to return it, but never got around to it. In the end, that was terrific because we didn't want to repeat costumes this year (first because it would be boring but mostly because Lucy cannot resist attacking Sophie's grapes - lol!) and the skeleton fits Sophie perfectly! Sophie is not the least bit disturbed by wearing clothing, so we now have to decide whether to get a matching skeleton for Lucy or something else. I'll take pictures of the dogs in their costumes on Halloween and share them for you, but for now, let's just say that a black dog wearing a black outfit with a glow-in-the-dark dog skeleton imprinted on it is a very effective look!

Anyway, we started looking at pictures on the internet, trying to figure out what to do for Lucy, and were very happily surprised at the options that presented themselves!

Although this Dogzilla is in Extra Small, I have a feeling that if we looked around, we'd find one big enough for Lucy and gawd only knows that the theme would be appropriate for her personality!

Cave Dog!

Shark Eating the Dog!

Here's the Skeleton we already have. It looks much better on our dogs.

Hmmmm... This is also a costume based in black and certainly the Bee would be appropriately humiliating for Lucy, not that she'd notice.

Could we get this Elephant on Lucy before she tore the trunk off in play?

There's no way! Lucy would rip the skirt of this Witches costume to shreds as soon as she took the hat off and played with it to death!

While this Devil costume is very tempting, do we really want to encourage Lucy?

Tinkerbell. Hmmm.... tempting!

A Pirate. Another very tempting choice!

The costumes above are all available on Amazon.com. But of course, I didn't want to completely ignore Etsy, my favorite hand-crafted buying forum. So here's a few of my favorites available there:

A Doggie Hula Costume! I really like it.But it's only displayed on a stuffed dog. How would a real dog feel about it?

There's little question how this dog feels about this monster hat. Now that's the Halloween Spirit! But I don't think that Lucy could be taken down so easily.

Bat Dog!!!!!!

I can't believe I ate the whole thing1 I feel like such a Cow!

Maggie Simpson, anyone?

Carmen Miranda! Now this is tempting - lol!

Now if you're serious about dressing your dog up, there are many places to go to buy them. This is but a small selection that I found on line, and you can find them in many brick-and-mortar stores too. Please enjoy the holiday and be safe, and if you can enjoy committing your canine to participating too, then happy shopping!

You Can't Go Home Again

2011-10-12T20:50:00.000-07:00

It's been such a long time since I've posted here, and even longer since I posted regularly. Amazing, since at one point in the not-that-distant past, I wrote very regularly about anything and everything, almost every day. What a change my life has brought me over the last year!

One year ago yesterday, I married the love of my life, Eric.

It has not been a smooth transition at all. The wedding itself was difficult - a portend into the future perhaps? - and the reception? Ah, the reception.

Where my some of my "best friends" conspired to betray me, leaving me officially a couple of months later. In the 60 days between the initial unfriending and the final once-and-for-all parting, I grew intensely weary of their rabid backstabbing, their emotional issues, their refusal to face reality... that I was not and never was the person that Richard Simmons pretended that I was and certainly was not during the wedding or afterward. When pushed to undue lengths, guess what? I can get emotional and break down too! By the time they left me for good, I was glad to see them go and even celebrated with an Animoto Video in honor of all unfriending:

That video, inspired by an idea from Eric, gave me the ability to laugh at the situation that I should have seen was inevitable for months and maybe a full year before our marriage. We were parting ways anyway as they were spiraling out of control without a parachute to soften their landing. As my own life also spiraled and I needed to focus all my attention on myself to regroup, they could no longer rely on me to be there to listen to and support them. Indeed, talking to them was wearying as we were no longer in the same place, so in the end, the end was no loss. And, in fact, I still laugh at the "Unfriended" video which is a good thing. As my life continues to change and I lose more and more of my old friends, it reminds me of something that I posted on Facebook at some point in the past year (paraphrased):

"Some friends are forever. Others come into our lives for a period of time, but will not always be there. I love and appreciate both, as they have all helped me grow and develop as a person. Those who are still with me are truly golden. But even of those who I have lost, I think fondly of them, miss them, and wish them the best."

The truth is, though, that most of the people at the Wedding Reception truly did wish me well. I hold on to that, even as I still wince at the betrayal. At least half of my friends there, even as I have not seen them regularly as my life has changed, remain true and steadfast, and when I finally get settled, I know that they will be there to welcome me back.

But then there are the others. The others who, after they crippled me and badmouthed me, banished me from their world. Again, a very abrupt change in lifestyle. The truth is that the moment Sh- stomped on my foot, I knew that I was done, that the injury was serious and devastating, even as I pretended to myself - confirmed by well meaning but unaware physicians in the ER at Cedars - that it was no big deal. I remember even exclaiming, as I was helped to the dressing room, "I hate this place!" And I meant it. I had had my family and especially my children ripped to shreds by "our mighty leader" only the weekend before in a class where mostly people I don't know attended. His exact words: I hate that you got married. I hate even more that you have children. And why? Because I had gained some weight and he could not use me publicly anymore.

Guess what? I had tried to tell him before that weekend, only to be blasted and later have him characterize that interchange as "a joke" that my health was worsening, that lack of exercise and the drugs I was being fed had more to do with the gain - of substance but not that critical in the overall scheme of things - than the marriage. But he was angry, he's on some kind of spirling-out-of-contol downward path himself (only look at him and how he presents himself in the past 9 months and you know in an instant that this is true), and human. My situation was stressing him out, even before the accident. And after the accident? He didn't want to deal with it or he couldn't deal with it. I don't know which it was, but I tried - stupidly - to try to get him to correct a situation that he did not want to see in order to keep others from getting hurt. I do not regret for one moment, even up to this day, that I tried to get him to see. I am at peace with myself for my words and actions. But that does not change what happened.

He took my words and led a "We Hate Laura" campaign within his world, pretty-much ensuring that the main players ( a few exceptions and you don't know how much I love you for seeing the truth and maintaining some contact even as your own reputations in that world would be threatened by communication with me) also exorcised me, without even knowing the entire truth. That I wanted nothing more than to have peace and all I wanted was for the right thing to be done. At that time, I had no idea that accidents such as mine had already occurred in that same location; that people had been paid off to keep quiet about them. At this time, I still don't have all the details although that is likely to come out still, but there is no question in my mind that I am probably more seriously physically hurt in that environment than anyone in the history of the establishment. Emotionally, though, not so much.

Yes, it hurts. I cry all the time when I realize how alone I am and how I've been cut out of a very special relationship without a second's thought. But then again, I always knew that I was different than the pack. I did not and never did subscribe to the cult mentality. And so I remember that I really meant it when I exclaimed to myself in that moment of shock and pain that "I hate this place!" and also, I did my best. The last communication sent off, just before the "Staff Meeting" where it was agreed that I was now an enemy of the state, said:

Dear R-,

I am praying this afternoon. I am praying that tonight's staff meeting is productive, harmonious, and has a good outcome. I am praying that you are protected from those things I fear for you the most, and that the group comes up with good and actionable ideas that can be implemented either now or over time.

I pray that everyone comes out of it feeling positive about themselves and S-, and that feelings are not bruised too much. I pray that my letter is understood in full context and that nobody feels that it is anything other than a vehicle asking you-all to take a hard look look at a 'situation' before it turns into something really tragic.

I am still at peace with what I said, even knowing that you will be sharing it with your Staff. My intentions were honorable and good, and it is the truth as I know it. I pray is that my letter creates positive change in which everyone at S-, both Staff and Students, can flourish.

I love S-, I love you, I love your staff. I know what a miracle S- is. I'm praying for you all.

Love,

Laura

I look at that letter from time to time and I know that I did the right thing. And even if the people involved suddenly realized what a grave error they made in their judgement me (unlikely as that world is all about pleasing the demi-god), it would make no difference at all to my status. I am irrevocably damaged by their stupidity and failure to care for those who entrust their bodies - and souls - to them, crippled beyond belief by an accident (yes, the actual event was an accident, but due to what I would consider unforgivable negligence before it) that could have been prevented, and I will never be able to be active in that or any like-it venue again for the rest of my life. And as the world spreads outside of that one classroom and more and more people are getting (and believing ) the company line about what happened, thinking that I am evil, and eschewing of any contact with me, I can live with the results, as hurtful as they are. So be it. The relationship is forevermore dead. Rest in Peace.

And so I moved on. I lost my precious dog Sunny, and as his legacy, adopted Sophie, a delightful girl, emotionally damaged beyond belief from the abuse she suffered before she came into my life as well as her experience in the Lancaster, CA dog pound, a horrific place and a high-kill shelter.

I also lost an adversary by the name of Garrett who lived in our home and was Eric's oldest son, only to have a moment in time last May where the three of us came together as a full and loving unit during a visit by Eric & myself to his school in Utah, and there I gained a step son. Garrett has a long way to go before he is emotionally healed from his issues, but when we sent him off and out of our home - probably forever - with tears standing in our eyes, I had little hope for him. Now I know that while he has his issues, he is not mentally ill. He is not damaged beyond repair. He just has issues, huge issues. He will have to work strenuously on them for many years to come to regain the ground that he lost and continues to lose, but he is showing that he has the capacity for that kind of work in his current location, and is sure to grow and grow up eventually.

I gained a 'daughter', Eric's daughter Gabby who I am so proud to call step-daughter, and helped her find her passion in horseback riding. This is something that she loves, excels in, and because she is determined to maintain this passion while access is tied into her grades in school, she has become an "A" student, and at the same time, is developing the capacity for hard work, compassion, and community service, all under the tutelage of Sandy Springer.

Waiting for Show Results

I am so proud of her. I'm also proud of myself where she is concerned. I have been steadfast that she should have access to horses since Eric & I wed, knowing in my heart as well as my head from my own experiences, that involving her in this activity would be life-changing. I was right.

I continue to advocate for her in this area. Even as we have our differences as most women & teenage girls - especially those who live under the same roof - will have, I delight in her happiness and will do everything that I can to maintain her access to her beloved sport. Assuming that she continues to get the grades. And Gabby, in case you're reading, I know that you will, and over time, getting fantastic grades will no longer have anything to do with horses but will be an end unto themselves. Once you truly taste and understand the fruits of hard work and education, you can never let it go again.

I gained a son in Miles. Eric's youngest, he tears at my heart as he struggles with issues of health, ADD, and emotional despair. He's so much like Eric, Garrett, and even myself as I was growing up. The product of a dysfunctional and hateful situation beyond any kind of belief, he's experienced more pain in his nine short years than most of us will endure over our entire lifetime.   I work hard continuously to help him through his travails, and will continue to advocate for him at any opportunity, and also help him to learn to do the right thing always, even in the face of adversity. He's exceptionally gifted - I'd say brilliant but that's understating his capacity - and we need to find an avenue for him to let it out. I will continue my search until I do.

I gained a husband who, despite our issues as I try to adjust to a very abrupt change in lifestyle and he recovers from what he survived in his former marriage and then as the father of four special needs kids, I love him with all my heart. I will stand by him as he struggles with his own demons, and he is making such amazing progress which is only accelerating in the past couple of months, that I only fear that he will leave me behind and want somebody better when he beads them into submission.

But what of myself? I have devoted all of my time and energy to recovering from the betrayal of friendships, of issues of health, of devastating and crippling accidents, of changing from a single and free woman to somebody who is wholy responsible for the lives of five other people (as well as assorted animals in the dozens). I continue to suffer from horrifying and invasive medical treatments to try and stay the damage from what was done TO me, as well as those longstanding treatments for my various autoimmune issues.

Somewhere in the past year, I've lost myself. I've found myself without friends who I can talk to honestly and candidly as most of them will not understand. I'm walking, yet again, a very unusual life in which few can relate.

I've found myself unable to sustain my creative instinct and business, and barely keep some of my clients happy.

I've found myself without educational outlets, and without the time or energy to pick up new classes.

I've found myself utterly and totally alone and while I have dreams, I cry to Eric on a regular basis " I have nothing left. I've given up everything for this marriage. I have nothing of my own or my identity anymore!"

But I am now formulating a plan to bring those dreams back to life.   There's an old saying: "That which does not kill me only serves to make me stronger." I don't know if I am stronger for what I have experienced or not yet, but I do know that I am not completely dead. And that's why I am posting, at long last, tonight.

I know that I can never go back to the person that I was. I've been changed in ways that you can't recover from, not that I'd want to. Not really. My life now is a culmination of that which I've learned over the past decade. I'm continuing to evolve, but now I want to plan and control it a little bit more. I'm assessing what was best in my former life, and figuring out how to adapt it to my new one.

I think that this blog might be a beginning. I know that I cannot sit down at the computer and type out my heart at a moment's notice anymore. Indeed, it is not a wise thing to do at this juncture, even if I had the time to do so. But at the same time, I miss this form of expression as both a creative outlet, a way to hone my writing skills, a way to communicate with my friends and fans, and a way to release things from my life that are stressful. Also, it's so much fun to share the happy times and bring joy to others, especially those that I've never met.

And so I think that a guarded plan of posting may be a good start.   Maybe three times a week. Developing a new header photo. ?????    And that's where you, my readers - assuming that I have any left - come into the picture.

I would like to know what you'd like to hear about.   I'm thinking that posting on particular subjects on given days may be enough to get me out of my rut. And this is what I am thinking:

Once a week, I will post about my life, my family, my animals, and my health issues. I will talk about what's happening with me, trying hard not to be a downer. I will share funny stories, tell you about people who are inspiring me, and maybe share some of the travails I face as I struggle with issues of family and friends.

Once a week I will post about my journey back to health. About my illnesses and my treatments. About my weight and my struggle to bring it back into line despite challenges of medications designed to put weight on, crippling issues that prevent meaningful exercise, eating "family style" which is not necessarily conducive to being sexy-thin. I will talk about cooking and medications and coping. I will talk about others on occasion who inspire me and/or make me nuts. I may use this blog on this day as a venting board too, as nothing is more frustrating to me than wanting to live a more full and productive life only to have my body betray me.

And Once a week, I will post about my creative side. I will talk about the creative process and what it means to me. I will profile some of my work; how it came to be and what it means to me. I will talk about inspiration vs. creative channeling, how to turn creativity into a small business despite the challenges that I face. I will talk about my successes and also my failures. I will profile other artists I know who are worthy, and maybe some who are not (evil grin). I might talk about the technical side of what I do too. The difference between gold (or silver) plating and fill. How I do what I do. Classes I might like to take or teach. What I have learned. How what I've learned has greater life application.

There can be a lot of crossover between the topics, I'm sure. But these are my proposed general guidelines. And now I would like to know

1. What you think about them.
2. If there are other things you would like to hear about, and if so, will they work under the current topics or should I consider adding one more day into my posting schedule.
3. Is there something that I should stay away from?

One thing that I can assure you, no matter where this blog goes from here forward. I have always written in this forum, first and foremost, for myself. That is not going to change. I've seen friends and "friends" gain popularity in the blog-o-sphere, only to sell out and post what they think their readers want to read, in search of the elusive title of "Super Blogger." I can't go there. My ethics won't allow it; but more important, I'm just not capable of that kind of activity. Yes, my blog might be a tad self-serving. It's been so in the past and so what? Those who write for their readers are self-serving too... they live for one more follower, and another and another... Am I so horrible to write for myself? I think probably not, but if you disagree, I'd like to hear about that too.

But this is the first test. Is anybody still out there? Is anybody reading? Is anybody who IS reading willing to go public and respond? Or am I alone and rebuilding my blog-world as well as my real one? Either way, I will survive and flourish in the end. But it's easier when you are not alone.

I get by with a little help from my friends.   I hope you are out there.

xoxoxoxo

Laura

Doggie Make-Overs! Sophie and Lucy get Bathed and then go out on the Town

2011-07-08T15:53:00.003-07:00

Saving Sophie

2011-07-05T15:01:00.000-07:00

My Next Dog

2011-07-03T14:59:00.000-07:00

Sunny: In Memorium

2011-06-29T16:03:00.000-07:00

To all my friends who were also friends of Sunny,

I'm sad to let you know that Sunny died today at about 2:45pm. He led a very brave fight against both a rare fungus that is difficult-to-impossible to treat and also Melanoma of the Eye. He was very brave, trying to stay with us for as long as he could. He was the very first dog who lived with me for over a decade. Given that I take only rescue dogs and they all, including Sunny, were well past puppy-hood by the time they joined me, this was quite a feat. We're guessing that he was around 13.

Sunny was a very difficult dog when he came to me. He was very frightened, but instead of cowering like every other dog I had ever adopted, he was quite aggressive in his fear, biting me again and again, and also many dogs in his time.   It was far more than once that I was advised that I should put him down immediately, but I refused. I knew that there had to be a good dog inside of him somewhere. I've never met a bad dog. It took years before I became aware that his behavior was not of aggression but of fear. Once I realized it, everything changed between us for the better.

Sunny ended up being a very gentle soul. He helped Ian as an infant and toddler learn to play with and love dogs, gently putting up with his ministrations of love which included fingers in his eyes, ears, and mouth, and also grooming, moaning and yipping in delight. He put up with Cosmos, who was quite difficult to live with if you were trying to compete for love and time, and then recently Lucy, who came to us from the South Central Pound as a puppy and drove him crazy with play. He put up with living in a Condo when, as a large dog, he would have liked nothing better than to have had a large home to live in. Thankfully, we were able to provide that home for him in his last 8 months. He thoroughly enjoyed it.

He was something to be feared in his frightened youth, and thanks to his antics, when my Condominium Complex was over-ridden with Section 8 hoodlums and criminals (after the rebuild from the '94 earthquake, most of the condos were quickly rented out to the city to stem the losses by the owners and they were almost universally occupied by criminals), while I was reviled and threatened by my neighbors because I held a position on the Board of Directors and was tasked to help bring the situation under control, I was never attacked, my home was never broken into, I was always safe because Sunny was at my side.

He was by my side in sickness and in health, at my highest weights, during my weight loss, and during my greatest life transition of all. He was never demanding when I was so sick I was near death myself, instead just laying quietly in the room that I occupied, keeping me company. He walked many miles with me as I started my weight loss journey, and never complained when I became so sick that I could no longer take him out. He put up with me dressing him up for my own and others amusement, most recently appearing at my wedding reception as a bunch of grapes. He loved all of it.

I'm going to miss my boy terribly.   I knew that he was not going to live far into the transition into my new life, but he was something of my old life that was singularly mine, even as he loved Eric and worshiped him long before we were engaged.   I'm sorry that he did not get to live with my family as a young dog. I'm sorry that the children did not get to experience his playfulness and gentle nature.   I'm sorry because I feel like one of the last pieces of me as a single individual has left me.

But Sunny was old. He was suffering. It was time.

Even as I am in a terrible emotional state and I'm not sure how quickly I'm going to be able to act on it, I know that somewhere, there is already another dog who is waiting for us, for a new lease on life. In a week or so, we will start our search, and I'm sure it won't be long before we are able to give somebody a second chance at life. This next dog will be very lucky. It will not be coming into just my home. It will be coming into our home, into a large house with a large yard with two parents and lots of siblings to play with. And Lucy too.   And a cat to torment it. Hopefully, Ralph - the cat - will not be too angry at this new development.

Coming Back to Life

2011-05-29T21:50:00.000-07:00

It's been a painful process, getting married with an instant family, suffering health crisis after health crisis (a couple of outcomes still pending), having a very old and sick dog, and trying to retain my identity. Sadly, some things had to give.

Slimmons... I expect I will never be welcome there again. Long story, don't ask.

Friends: I lost a couple who I thought were "best friends forever" during the marriage process and thereafter, but as I said to my tremendous friend Claudia just last week, in the end they did me a favor. We had gone in separate directions, barely spoke anymore anyway, and as much as the relationships had meant to me, by the time the wedding came around, they were already gone anyway. There was just a pale imitation left and it's a relief not to have to pretend to care anymore. Bottom line... I didn't need the drama.

Jewelry: My crafting and art suffered for the changes, and I did very little to make - let alone promote - my work.

Happily, I've started taking jewelry classes again and have been making new items in profusion. I just listed the first three items in my Etsy Shop:

Make an avatar

I'm happy to say that all these items are listed as part of a fund raising effort for the parenting group BILY (Because I Love You) who is sponsoring a Silent Auction/Poker Tournament on June 12th in Granada Hills along with an inexpensive lunch. If I don't sell one of these necklaces before that date, I will make it available at the Silent Auction to sell for what it will.

I'm proud that the first works I put up in my new equilibrium are for a worthy organization and I am able to contribute and make a difference. I hope that anyone who lives in the area and isn't doing anything that day might come to the event - even if you don't play poker... you don't have to play to come - and see me. I miss my old friends so much.

Of Stepmothers and 9 year old Boys

2011-04-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

As it would happen, yesterday I needed to go onto Miles' school campus playground about an hour after school was let out to talk to the "Coach" about a Pitch, Hit, and Run activity that he was desperately interested in participating in. Miles was unable to get the form to sign up the day before and didn't know how to enter. The front office of the school - typically - didn't know what was happening on their own playground, so it was up to me to chase it down and make his dream of entering come true.. (Miles, extraordinarily intelligent, is smart enough to be acutely aware of his shortcomings, is very shy, and lacks self confidence. Whenever he wants to participate in anything social, I am very, and I mean VERY proud of him, and facilitate it in whatever way I possibly can.)

Anyway, we had a while to wait, and in that time, he and I sat at the lunch tables/benches in the shade and talked about some of the events that had happened at school earlier that day. I really do love that child as I love all of Eric's children. They are so incredibly bright and talented, and yet each flawed in such appealing ways - each distinctly different from each other. No normal human being would be able to resist their charm.

As Miles and I talked, there was a group of boys, clearly Miles' friends and classmates, sitting in a clump together, two rows down and one table to our left. They eyed us with curiosity.

"Is that your Mom?" one of the boys called over to Miles.   Miles thought about it for about 1/2 a second and replied "Yes." I was surprised at being given the honor of being "Mom" and kept quiet.

Then he thought for about 30 seconds and added, "She's my Step Mom."   Of course. That's what I am. No problem.

I started laughing, smiled at them, and said "Of course. I'm his Step Mom. I am evil. Don't I look evil?"

"No!" they all replied in a chorus.

I made a slightly more stern face and said "Do I look evil now?"

"No!" they replied again, laughing like crazy.

I made an angry face and said "How about now? Aren't I evil?"   And Miles called out and said "Be careful dudes, she can get mad."

Our kids think they have seen me mad; and in fact I put on a good act to make an impression on them, but I lost my true sense of inner anger years ago. The only time I get really upset at others now is when I am feeling profoundly ill. What they have actually seen is a very calculated act with the end result of getting what we need out of them .

The boys were not phased, either by my stern look or Miles' warning. They replied in unison "No, you don't look evil!"

And so I stood up, put my most angry face on, put my hands on my hips, and said in a very harsh voice, "Now do I look evil?"

Well, that made an impression. Instead of laughing, the boys just watched me, slightly warily. And one of them piped up, "I'm not afraid of you. I can just run into the 'Men's' room if I have to."

I was laughing hysterically on the inside as I replied "Do you really think a stupid sign that says "Men" could stop me from following in right behind you? And that's when it happened. Miles piped up with his most urgent warning ever.

"Dudes! Don't test her, man! She's seen my Daddy's penis like 90 times!!!!!" (There was a time when I walked in on Miles while he was fully unclothed about 6 months ago, and he was so upset that I had seen his penis that I told him that I had seen his father's penis the night before so he was in good company, and for the next several days, he asked me if I had seen it again and I would jokingly reply 'yes.'   It hasn't come up in many months, but apparently that interlude made a big impression on him.)

There were gasps of horror from every one of the boys. They scattered like bugs in every direction. Despite the new media and the claims of many that kids aren't like they used to be... they know too much and are too sophisticated, I'm here to dispute that claim. Kids are exactly the same as always. The cosmetics of their appearances and lifestyles may be different, but the social norms remain. And 9 year old boys know nothing about the birds and the bees, just as they didn't when I was a child.

I could hardly wait until I was alone with Eric so that I could repeat the story. He and I laughed our asses off when I told it to him. And when I told Adele later that evening, her response was to calculate that Eric & I had been married for 6 months, living together 2 months prior to that, and therefore there had been "x" opportunities to have seen it... and I then reminded her that Eric & I had committed sinful acts even before we moved in together. Yes, I guess it's true. I am evil , at least according to stern religious standards, and I am a Step Mom. And I also think that Miles' estimate was a wee bit low - lol!

Easter, 2011

2011-04-24T21:09:00.000-07:00

A lovely Easter day starting with baskets for the kids (yes, they are 1/2 Christian and we are honoring both sides of their religious heritage), and an Easter Egg hunt.

Later in the day, a trip to Santa Monica Beach including a picnic. Well, sort of. Most picnics are crashed by ants. Ours were crashed by Sea Gulls.

Moving in on our picnic.

Some sea shells Gabby found!

Group hug... me thinks the kids love their Dad!

A song to sing: