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Food Life After a Bikini Competition

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Thu, 06 Jun 2019 18:35:00 +0000

You may or may not know but I followed macros for my bikini competition. You can read all about my food journey to competition here. I had never followed a macro plan before. Meaning I never tracked calories, protein, carbs, fat... none of it. I ate clean and I ate intuitively. That's not to say that it was a free for all. I limited my carbs daily to two servings of fruit and two servings of "starchy" carbs (potatoes, rice, etc). In addition to that I would carb cycle having high, low and no carb days. So while I say I didn't track, I tracked, just not in the same kind of way.

When I switched to macros, I felt VERY hungry at first. My starting macros were just over 1600 calories (148 protein, 127 carbs, 57 fat). By the end of my prep, my macros were 1155 calories (140 protein, 70 carbs and 35 fat). This was at the very low end and at the very end of prep.

After the show was over, I spent two days eating anything I wanted. I ate a cookie and a burger and fries. I ate sushi, eggs benedict, carrot cake. I mean I ate it all. I didn't feel bad about it at all either! Ha!

But come Tuesday after the show, I was back to macros. Why you say? Why would you do this to yourself? The reason is a concept called reverse dieting and metabolic adaptation. You can read all about it here. I'll give you the gist of it, however. When you're eating a very low calorie diet (like I was at the end of prep), it's your body's job to make sure you don't starve to death. The body adapts to make sure this doesn't happen. So think about it if suddenly you go from eating a very low calorie diet back to even just maintenance calories, your body becomes "overwhelmed" with the excess calories and this leads to a greater storage of body fat. This is the bare bones of it. It's obviously a much more complex theory but if you even think about it logically it makes sense. The theory is if you add you calories back in SLOWLY your body will adapt and you won't have excess fat stores.

I'm still in the process of reversing out of my "diet." I started back at 1597 calories (124 protein, 138 carbs and 59 fat). 11 days after my show I was up 3 pounds. Jess was happy with my progress and increased my macros. I checked in again in a week and was up another 3 pounds. Jess decided to keep my macros the same for one more week. This week I pretty much stayed the same and so we increased again. I'm now up to 1871 calories (131 protein, 168 carbs and 75 fat). I feel like I'm living in a dream-- I can eat so much food. Ha! Seriously though, I'm back to intuitively eating (while still tracking). I eat what I want when I want and check in throughout the day seeing how I'm doing with my macros. I'm still choosing CLEAN foods that nourish my body but I've also eaten pizza, sushi, and a donut (they were on my post-prep bucket list).

Donut Happiness

My niece at a wedding this weekend said she thought I would "bulk back up" after the show and I have. I'm not sure that is visible to everyone around me. Think how long it takes to notice when someone has LOST weight. But, I have gained 8 pounds in 4 weeks. It's hard to NOT feel like it's a lot, but I remind myself my show weight was what I weighed in high school. It would have been crazy to think I could maintain there and I never thought I would. I'm hoping I'm now in maintenance and I can maintain my current weight +/- a few pounds. I'm happy with myself where I am.

Me and my gorgeous niece

I'm going to continue my clean eating journey because that's how I want to treat my body. It makes me feel good to fuel my body with quality foods and quality ingredients. Do "bad" foods still call to me? Of course. I'm human. I love french fries and pizza but ultimately I know these food don't make me feel well. They just don't ultimately make me happy. There will be times when those food are "worth it" but it's not every single day. Every day there's a reason to celebrate, I'll decide which ones are worthwhile. The key to eating success is consistency. It's what you do consistently not what you do occasionally that matters.

Eff You Linda (Bikini Competition: 4 Weeks Removed)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Thu, 06 Jun 2019 00:17:00 +0000

I'm almost 4 weeks out from my bikini competition. Wow, 4 weeks! Time has gone by so quickly and I have done a lot of reflecting and wanted to "journal" my most current thoughts. You can read all about the competition and the results here.

When the competition was first over and I discovered the results, I was obviously not happy. I was hell bent on finding out the judges critiques and figuring out what I did "wrong." I was determined to get redemption and already contemplating doing another show (spoiler alert I'm NOT doing another show). So I sent my front pose and back pose pictures to the judge responsible for providing feedback and waited.

Here's the response I got:

"Hi Susan, Lean out more. Tighten your glutes and hamis and work on your posing. Especially your back pose. Don't bend over so far. Hope this helps. Good luck to you. Linda"

Um, ok Linda! What a joke! These are my critiques that are supposed to help me improve? Seriously? This isn't even constructive feedback. It's just a woman who spent probably 30 seconds looking at my pictures (God knows if she even remembered me) and typed up a 32 word response.

Her response was honestly exactly what I needed. I was finally able to let everything go. Linda nor the other judges cared about me. 14.5% body fat wasn't lean enough. I get it, I promise I do. MOST bikini competitors are between 10 to 12 % body fat. I wasn't lean enough by THEIR standards. I was, however, lean enough by MINE. Maybe I wasn't stage ready. Maybe I had no business competing that day. Who knows. Who freaking cares! I did something that pushed me so far outside my comfort zone, allowed myself to be vulnerable and I grew because of it. There's no judge on earth that can evaluate that.

I've really thought long and hard about what I learned about myself during this journey. It's totally NOT what I ever would have thought going into the prep. While yes I learned that I was determined, I think I already knew that about myself. I'm an all or nothing kind of person and I knew if I committed to it, I'd give it my all-- and I did. My biggest fear going into it wasn't whether or not I could do the work (I knew I could). I just didn't know if my body would cooperate quickly enough. That was the scary part.

I'm super proud of myself for pushing "all in" and I give myself credit where credit is due but that's not the biggest take away from this. Oddly enough what I learned about myself is that it's ok to be exactly who I am. There will always be people who judge you, but what really matters is how you feel about yourself. When I first put on that suit in the hotel room that day, my whole demeanor changed. I was so happy and so proud of myself and all the hard work I had done. I had transformed myself physically and I was satisfied and content with the work I had done. I KNEW I had done pretty much all I could have done before stepping on stage that day.

So yes Linda, I COULD have leaned out more, I could have improved my glutes and hamis, and I could have had better posing, but I was the BEST ME I could have been THAT DAY. I know this to be true and I can hold my head up high and say it. So eff you Linda, because I don't need you (or anyone else) to validate me.

My Journey to a NPC Bikini Competition: Part Three (The Show)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Sun, 19 May 2019 02:14:00 +0000

This might wind up being an emotional post. I'm just going to be open and raw with my feelings because that's what I always do and it seems to be what resonates with people the most. Please remember how hard it is to be vulnerable and why I never even wanted to share this journey in the first place.

So Tracey and I left Friday afternoon for Columbus, OH where my competition was being held The plan was to check into the hotel, freshen up and then head to check in at the competition. After check-in, I'd get my spray tan.

When we got to the competition to check in, there really weren't a lot of people there. There weren't too many people to "size up" if you will. However, when we got back to the hotel for the spray tan, I saw LOTS of competitors IN THE FLESH (literally). Yep you're all naked in one room. I felt violated. Ha! But it is what it is and I survived.

Shortly after the spray tan, we went back to the room where I ate COLD cod and sweet potatoes because I was too lazy to go find a microwave. My mantra was "food is fuel." Tracey and I talked until almost 11 pm and then I fell right to sleep and slept the whole night.

When we got up, I got right to business prettying myself. Once all the hair and makeup was done I put on the suit and walked out to show Tracey. She captured the moment.

I do have to say when I put the suit on with the tan I felt amazing. I looked at myself in the mirror and I almost couldn't believe it was me. I felt super proud of my body and to be honest, I felt pretty. When we got to the venue for the show I started eyeing up all the other ladies. I mean it's only natural. I thought seeing the other women would make me feel uneasy or underprepared but the more I was there and the more competitors I saw, my confidence never waned.

Let me tell you a little something about Tracey. With Tracey you get what you see. She's a no bullshit kind of gal. You'll always know exactly where you stand with her because she's not afraid to speak the truth. TO YOUR FACE! It's one of the things that make her a great coach (and an awesome friend). So when Tracey told me I was IN it... I could hold my own amongst these ladies, I knew I wasn't delusional and I actually fit in. Tracey built me up so much throughout my journey and obviously on show day. She was a constant support system to me through the entire process. She was the perfect person to have with me on show day.

The morning went really fast and before I knew it everyone had out their bands and were getting their "pump" on. I dare you all to try to do banded pull throughs in a thong (not pictured). It's not easy.

Next thing I knew they were calling out all the True Novice (those who have NEVER done an NPC show) competitors into the hallway. It was real. We were getting ready to go on stage.

I competed in 4 different divisions. True Novice, Masters (35 plus), Novice (never won a show) and open Bikini (all competitors). The hope of entering different divisions is increasing your chances of placing. I originally only entered in True Novice and Masters but the day before decided to add Novice and Open just to see where I stacked up among ALL the ladies.

I have to tell you, when I envisioned this day the 14,782 times I envisioned it, I envisioned myself being paralyzed by fear. I pictured myself sick with nerves, shaking and scared. When it came down to it, I wasn't any of those things. I was calm, I was happy and I was extremely confident. I felt amazing and I just wanted to go out on that stage and show just how amazing I felt.

True Novice competitors

When you walk out with your division you walk out with 5 to 6 ladies competing. You all do your "front pose," turn to the back and then back to front. Then you go to the side and the next 5 to 6 come out and do the same thing. Then they call you all one-by-one to do your posing routine yourself. Again, front pose, side, back, and back to front. I wasn't overly confident about my posing. I didn't take any posing classes. I went out there and did the best I could but I really messed up when I turned from back to front. I fidgeted and then just popped a hip and did my front pose. Ugh. But I didn't much care. It wasn't a total embarrassment. It was just not how I had practiced it.

After each individual does their posing routine the judges call out 5 people (the front runners) that they'd like to see side by side. Basically if you don't make it to call outs you're probably not going to place. I didn't get called for call outs and I did feel a little disappointed.

After the True Novice division, Tracey came backstage and told me I did great. She reminded me again that I was "in this" and doing great. She seemed so happy and pumped for me. She gave me one pointer about my back pose and then rushed back to see me go on with the 35+ (Masters) division.

Masters

I honestly don't remember my posing for Masters. It's almost like I question if I even did it but I'm fairly certain I did. The reason it's even a question is because after masters I never had to do my posing routine again. Once they've seen it once they don't require you to do it again. But I swear I did it for True Novice and Masters. I don't know for sure. Regardless, call outs came for masters. I felt like I had a better chance in the masters division since I wasn't going up against a bunch of young chicks. Still I think theres a BIG difference between 35 and 44. Just sayin'! Alas I didn't make it to call outs for masters either. Again, I was disappointed but I wasn't defeated. I was still felt so, so happy. I was just beaming and I think it shows on my face.

The next two divisions, I definitely did not do my routine. I just stood and posed on side and froze my ass off while the other girls competing did their routines. Of course I was there for the comparisons and I stood sandwiched between two winners.

There's really no need to say, but I did not make it to call outs for the Open or Novice divisions. Holy moly these girls were amazing. Looking at the pictures, however, I don't think I stick out like a sore thumb or as "one of these things is not like the other." I just wasn't as good as the other girls. Not good enough to make top 5 for sure.

The four divisions took about an hour to transpire. It was over by 11:30 am or so. Finals started at 6 pm. It kind of sucked to have to wait around for 6 hours all while knowing I wouldn't place. They only award the top 5 people and because I didn't make it to call outs I knew I wouldn't be one of them. Nevertheless, I came back and posed again and learned my fate. I didn't place. Shocker. By that point I definitely wasn't disappointed anymore. I was on a high from the day. I had been so happy, proud and confident. I keep using those words because that's just how I felt. I could add amazing.

Here are the professional photos taken of my posing.

Side

When finals were over and it was official I had not placed, all I cared about was eating food. Not gonna lie. It was my primary focus. I grabbed a cookie and ate it. It didn't even taste good. I immediately had regret, but quickly forgave myself for not throwing it away after the first bad bite.

After that, Tracey and I headed to eat and I got this burger. I ate the whole thing. Every bite and all the fries too. It was really good and totally worth it!

Tracey and I spent the whioe ride home talking about everything. Tracey was convinced the judging come down to "splitting hairs." I honestly didn't know but I did know after spending the day with ALL these women that there were some women I definitely was more competitive than.

Tracey is one of the most competitive people I know. Her motto in life is "podium of bust" but she was ok with me not making the podium. We knew that the results would eventually be posted and she said I should hope for top 50%. When I got home, Ella told me it was ok that I didn't come in top 5 because for all I know I could have come in 6th place. Maybe I thought. Maybe I did.

So I spent the next day refreshing the screen waiting for the results. I'm not even sure I was looking in the right spot but finally on Monday at 8:50 am I hit the refresh button and I found the results. I was so excited to see.

True Novice: Last Place (12th)
Masters: Last Place (10th)
Novice: Second to last place (11th)
Open: Second to last place (14th)

When I saw it, I was honestly shocked. I didn't think nor FEEL like I came in last place. It was the worst feeling ever. Like my heart sank into my stomach. I think I texted and called Tracey and she didn't answer and then I called George. I cried. Tracey called me back shortly thereafter and she was shocked too. Like I said, we spent ALL day with these women. We felt like I was more competitive than several of them. So last place stung and it stung a LOT.

I'm eager to hear the judges feedback (which takes several weeks). Was it my posing? Was it my back pose? Was it my ass (not my strong suit)? I'm not sure I'll ever know exactly as I'm not sure how specific they'll be with their feedback, but I do need to know. NEED!

I've spent this whole week feeling ALL the emotions. Ashamed, embarrassed, stupid, let down. Mostly I feel so disappointed because the day of the event I felt happy, proud, confident... even amazing. Remember that? And that was a GREAT feeling. It was a feeling that I worked so hard for and earned. And in the blink of an eye it was all gone. All the positive emotions I felt were simply erased.

Despite KNOWING I should still be proud, that's just NOT how I feel. I'm still processing all my emotions and I'm not really sure where I'll end up. I go back to the question Alex asked me... "How do you define success?" I guess I defined it by NOT coming in last place. The whole experience feels like a failure. Everything I went through suddenly doesn't seem worth it.

In the words of my mother "time heals all wounds." I'm just hoping time doesn't tell me I need to redeem myself. NPC 2020?!?!

My Journey to a NPC Bikini Competition: Part Two (The Emotional Journey)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Sat, 18 May 2019 00:55:00 +0000

When I decided I wanted to do a bikini competition, I really didn't know what was in store for me emotionally. I knew it would be tough, but I didn't know how tough. I have no idea what people think of me but I'm not an overly confident person when it comes to my body and my athleticism. And when I say I'm not overly confident, I pretty much mean I lack confidence at all. I'm a slow runner. I'm an average (at best) CrossFitter. So when I decided to do the show, I really wanted to keep it to myself. I didn't share with anyone but a handful of friends/family and my coaches what I was doing. Why? Why did I want to keep it a secret? Well because! Putting myself out there made me feel so vulnerable. I wasn't sure I could do it. I wasn't confident my body would respond. I was afraid people would think I was vain. There were a million or so reasons. What it boils down to is I wasn't self-assured. I didn't want to expose myself to criticism and potential hurt.

In March, I decided to share my journey with everyone as whispers started happening around the gym. I decided to announce on social media that I was doing the show. I'm so glad I did. The outpouring of support was truly remarkable. So many people made me feel so loved and supported and, if I'm being honest, I needed it.

The thing about doing something like this is that it makes you VERY in tune with your body. You (or at least I) evaluate every single part of your body every single day. Every time I walked by I mirror, I would check things out. It wasn't even a conscious decision, but it happened. I was constantly taking pictures to track my progress. I needed to see more than just the scale, I needed to know my body was changing. That type of scrutinization is exhausting. I am glad, however, that I tracked my progress with pictures because it allowed me to SEE progress when the scale was inching it's way slowly down.

There are 6 pounds difference in these pictures

My progress in the first 13 weeks was pretty consistent. I was right on track losing just under my goal of 1.3 pounds per week. However, from April 5th to April 23rd I lost a whopping .7 pounds. It was so hard to be putting in the work every single day in both the gym and the kitchen and not seeing any results. My body was being so stubborn. I KNOW I was doing the work so I couldn't understand why my body wasn't responding. It was a mind game every single day. Jess was so calm about it. Every day we'd talk at the gym and every day she'd shrug and tell me she wasn't worried. If she was ever worried, she didn't let on to me and thank God because if she had faltered then I would have too.

There were days were I felt like crying (literally) and there were days were I felt like I was on a high. I didn't know which Susan I would wake up to every single day. Would it be strong and confident Susan or the Susan who doubted every single thing that was going on and doubted that her body would get to where it needed to be? I'm sure dealing with me on a daily basis was a chore. Alex and Jess constantly reassured me. Like I said, neither of them ever wavered in their faith in me. The believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself.

At one point Alex asked me to ask myself a tough question. How do you define success? I thought about this question a LOT. Would hitting 115 pounds and 12% body fat be success? Would just surviving prep be success? Would getting up on stage be enough for me to feel successful? I honestly didn't know and still, as I'm typing this, am uncertain of what defined my success. More on this in Part 3 (the show). I remember talking to Jess about the question too. We talked about so many what ifs. What if I didn't look like I belonged when I got there? What if I came in last place? What if... the possibilities of failure (in my mind) were endless.

The roller coaster of emotions that I felt EVERY SINGLE day is too much to really even put into words. Those closest to me know how much it drained me. It doesn't seem unreasonable to say that every waking moment my mind was occupied by prep. Whether it was eating food, making food, thinking about food, working out or dreaming about the show... it was all consuming. ALL THE TIME. I remember thinking I couldn't wait til it was over so I could just stop thinking about it all the time. Did I mention it was ALL THE TIME AND ALL CONSUMING? I annoyed myself.

I have so many people to thank for putting up with me. First and foremost I have to thank George. He is my constant and my everything. He listened to every single hope and fear and looked at every new muscle. He put up with me when I was hungry, scared, happy or sad. His support was continuous throughout. (I can't even imagine if that weren't the case.) Except that one time during the last week of prep when he brought home pizza, wings and a calzone while I was eating egg whites. I cried. Literally. Well I don't think I let the tears spill but they came to my eyes for sure. That was mean George. Other than that, he was my rock and just knowing he is always on my side is all I ever need.

To my children. They're the ones that put up with me everyday. While I think the boys couldn't care less about what I was doing at least they didn't give me a hard time about it even when I was posting half naked pictures on the internet. They didn't complain when I wouldn't eat out with them or when I was irritable for being just downright hungry. They just let me live my life and never said they wished I hadn't done it. Ella. Oh Ella! That child. She made me feel so amazing day in and day out. Every day she supported and encouraged me and it meant so much to me to know she valued what I was doing and saw the hard work it took. These children are my world and I'm so thankful they didn't give up on their mom when she was a little bit crazy!

Of course I have to thank my coaches. This includes Jess, Alex AND Tracey. You hire people for a reason. People that know what they're doing and know how to get you where you're going Without their expertise I would not be where I am today. Jess and Alex, I thank you both for always believing in me. Neither of you ever made me think for one minute that I couldn't do this. Again, you both believed in me when I found it hard to believe in myself. So thank you for your expertise and getting me there.

Although Tracey wasn't my coach for this portion of the prep process she still played a huge role in getting me to where I am today. I owe my healthy lifestyle to her. I wouldn't have even dreamed any of this was possible if it weren't for her getting me to a starting place. Not only that but she was by my side on show day and for the I'm eternally grateful. This woman is a pillar of strength and support. (More on Tracey in Part 3).

There are two ladies that I have to thank for being my biggest cheerleaders and those ladies are Heidi and Tracey. These two listened to me complain every single day. The listened to my hopes and fears. They were both a constant support in my life. EVERY DAY! I feel so lucky to have women in my life that lift me up and support me! I've surrounded myself with some pretty amazing women and for both of them I'm incredibly thankful. I don't know how I would have survived this without each of their friendships!

Thank you Tracey!

Thank you Heidi!

Thank you Amy, Biggie, Gina, Jami, Jamie, January Jennifer B, Jen S., Kate, Kelli, Kortni, Melissa, Tammy, Toni, and Tricia. Each of you took time out of your day at some point (or several) points and lifted my spirits when I needed it most. When you supported me, I felt it and I often times REALLY NEEDED it. I can't thank you enough. It's not easy for some women to lift other women up but I definitely felt you ladies putting the wind in my sails. For that, I thank each and every one of you!

I'm so thankful the emotional journey has ended (kind of) and can't wait to tell you Part 3. Show day!

My Journey to a NPC Bikini Competition: Part One (The Facts and Figures)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Fri, 17 May 2019 02:07:00 +0000

I want to blog about my journey through my bikini competition but the task has seemed so daunting. How do I appropriately describe what has transpired in my life over the past 4 and a half months? How do I put into words so many thoughts and emotions? Where do I even begin? This part will basically talk about the facts and figures. All the numbers-- the calories, the workouts and my weight.

MY journey to my bikini competition started long before January. It started in February 2018 when I finally took control of my life and my eating. I worked side by side with my nutrition coach, Tracey from Clean Eats Coaching. (You can read all about that journey here.) Tracey undoubtedly changed my life. I learned how to fuel my body properly. I learned what foods to eat when and I truly lead a clean eating lifestyle for almost a full year before I started my body building experience. Had I not done this with Tracey first, I can honestly say I don't think I would have been as successful in my journey. It was because of Tracey that I had the tools and know-how to even start the body building journey. I owe a lot of my success to her.

February 2018 to September 2018 working with Tracey

When I got the bright idea to enter a bikini competition, I did ask Tracey if she wanted to be my coach. Tracey thought it was important that the person who coached me through my nutrition also coach me through my workouts. She encouraged me to ask my CrossFit coach, Alex to be my coach. When I did, Alex called on fellow CrossFit coach, Jess to be my nutrition coach. Alex would write my programming (workouts) and Jess would set my macros (calories: proteins, carbs and fat) and follow my nutrition. And so we started MY journey.

Jess, Me and Alex

When I first started I weighed in at 136.2 lbs. Fresh off the holiday, I had definitely added a few pounds. I was also sitting at about 22% body fat. Jess and I discussed what show day should possibly look like and we were shooting to be around 12% body fat which would be about 115 pounds. The thought of losing 20 poundds over 4 months seemed overwhelming from the get go. I felt so much pressure to hit that 115 pound mark.

Jess set my beginning macros at just over 1600 calories (148 protein, 127 carbs, 57 fat). I was starving all the time. It was definitely an adjustment period. First, because I never tracked my macros before, but second because I clearly had been eating a LOT more than 1600 calories per day and WAAAAY more fat. I had to make some adjustments to the amounts of food I was eating and obviously had to pay attention to macronutrients. I never realized how much I liked fatty foods like nuts, olives and ALL THE FATTY MEATS. The one thing I told myself through MY journey is that I would not compromise my clean eating lifestyle. I wanted to body-build but do it by eating clean foods AND foods that I enjoyed. I didn't want to take the "if it fits my macros" approach. Meaning I didn't want to fuel my body with pizza and cupcakes just because it would "fit" my macros. I kept wheat, dairy and sugar out of my life like I had the whole prior year. On the other had, I also didn't want my diet to consist of only white fish and asparagus. I wanted to eat clean foods that fueled me properly but also kept me satisfied. If I'm proud of anything throughout this journey, I'm proud of my ability to keep my clean eating lifestyle and not compromising my beliefs. I still cooked. I still made recipes. I still ate salmon, red meat and the occasional taco. This isn't to say that I didn't have to change anything. I definitely did. I had to eat less intuitively and more according to "hitting my macros." I had to eat egg whites when I felt like eating rice cakes with nut butter. I had to eat less veggies (hello carbs) and cut a lot of fun (fats) out of my life.

Pretty soon, hitting my macros became easy. I knew what to eat when. I knew the macronutrient content of my favorite foods. I knew what combinations to eat to hit my daily goals. However, week by week, my macros decreased. You know what this means right? Feelings of being hungry would happen with each adjustment. I started to accept that being hungry was part of the process. I mean how can it not be? There were some days I felt like I didn't have enough and I was always starving. But other days I would space my eating so I could eat every few hours and it kept me more happy. Regardless there were many nights I went to bed early just because I was hungry and there were no more macros to eat. Many days sucked. I'm not going to lie.

My goal from the beginning was to lose 1.3 pounds a week over the course of the prep with a 2 week buffer built in. This would hopefully have me at my goal of 115 pounds on show day. Things went along pretty well. Like clockwork actually for quite some time. It was a slow process for me and I stalled out a few times. Things don't just happen overnight people.

My workouts. My favorite part! Throughout the month of January I stuck to typical CrossFit workouts. I did whatever was programmed at the gym plus normal accessory work. I worked out 5 days a week. 4 of those were spent at CrossFit and one day was dedicated to running.

Come February, I stopped my beloved CrossFit and focused only on bodybuilding. On a typical day I spent anywhere between 1.5 to 2 hours at the gym. I'd do mostly weightlifting and followed it up with 15 to 20 minutes of cardio.

As time went on I really started to focus on adding extra cardio. After my sessions in the gym I'd do at least 30 to 40 minutes of other cardio a day. That could have been a ruck walk (walking with a 25 pound pack), rowing, my bike trainer or just walking my dog.

I also focused on NEAT (non exercise activity thermogenesis). That's just a fancy way of saying all the activity you do that is not working out. I really focused on MOVING MORE and not allowing myself to be complacent. 10,000 steps a day or bust. Every far away parking spot was mine. I stood when I wanted to sit, etc. etc.

The workouts were honestly the easy part. I enjoyed it. I looked forward to it everyday. I never thought I'd be happy NOT CrossFitting, but I was. I was content in my own corner of the gym doing my own thing. I felt like I was getting stronger every day and I liked it.

Toward the end of my journey (beginning of April) my weight loss had stalled. My calories were around 1368 calories with HIGH protein and low fat and carbs. Panic began to set in and I decided to up my game in the gym and started personal training with Alex.

Alex and I trained together two days of the four I was at CrossFit for the last 6 weeks of my prep and I really think it made a HUGE difference. I started seeing real changes in my physique.

I have to say, I didn't know one single thing about how to get where I was going with the whole body building thing. I trusted Alex's expertise and I trusted the process and the workouts he wrote for me. I saw BIG changes in my body. I have no doubt my workouts were exactly what they needed to be.

Through my diet and my workouts, I was able to lose a significant amount of weight without losing a ton of muscle. Often times when you're in a deficit, it's hard to hold on to your muscle. I'm so proud of the work I put in (inside the gym and in the kitchen) to hold on to my muscle.

In the end, I didn't quite make it to my original goal of 115 pounds and 12% body fat. I made it to 118.7 (a weight I haven't seen since I was 20 years old) and 14.5% body fat. While I didn't make my original goal, I'm still tremendously proud of where I ended up. I honestly don't think there is anything I could have done better in the gym or in the kitchen. I did everything Alex and Jess asked me to do and this is all my body had to give in the 4 and a half months of prep.

I lost 17.5 pounds, 7.6% body fat and only 2.7 pounds of muscle. I held on to my muscle and that makes me so happy! I didn't just waste away.

I want to say thank you to Alex and Jess for the time and energy they put into my workouts and nutrition. I tried to be an excellent student of their tutelage. I can tell you, I hit my macros 95% of days and even if I didn't hit my macronutrient goals I always hit my calorie goals. I can think of ONE time I actually "cheated" on my diet and that was super bowl Sunday when I ate a piece of pizza. I also had 2 glasses of wine (one on each of the vacations I took) as well as some Tito's and soda one night while visiting a friend. Other than that I was on and on all the time. I can honestly say, my nutrition was spot on. I did pretty much EXACTLY what Jess told me to do. As far as my workouts... I missed one workout and one long run due to illness. Other than that, I worked out 5 days a week every week (plus additional cardio).

There's not much more I could have done based on what my coaches asked me to do. I hope, if nothing else, I've made them proud.

So there you have it. There are the facts and figures of my bikini prep. Stop back next time where I'll talk about about the EMOTIONAL journey!

Ironman Chattanooga Race Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Sat, 13 Oct 2018 14:09:00 +0000

So this blog is named "Mom Swim Bike Run" but there hasn't been much of that going on up in here lately. I think following Tracey's (my BFF) training both terrified and inspired me. Here is her story:

It all started with texts back and forth between Kelli and I last September. The next thing I knew we were signed up for IM Chattanooga. We were both so excited, but it seemed a long way off. Fast forward a few months to February when I started swimming again and building up a base. Our 20 week training plan started in May. We decided to follow the intermediate plan of “Be Iron Fit”. It is a plan that is based on heart rate and time instead of distance and consisted of training six days a week. Over 20 weeks, I put in a lot of time swimming, biking and running. The hardest part was working my schedule around my kids, especially during the summer. There were a lot of very early mornings and later nights on the trainer, but somehow it all got done.

The week of the race, I was a mess. I was really, really nervous which really isn’t like me. I don’t know if it was the idea of the distance, the fact that it was something my body had never done before, or that I put it all out there and didn’t want to let anyone down, especially Owen.. Everyone told me to trust my training, but I was still nervous. Then Thursday came. Kelli and I were leaving Thursday night. Thursday afternoon we found out the swim was cancelled because of flooding and high levels of bacteria. It was devastating. All of those hours in the pool, the open water swims at Moraine, and we wouldn’t be able to swim. We were both so upset. That also made me anxious. I couldn’t sleep or eat and that is what I needed to be doing.

We left for Chattanooga Thursday evening with Kelli’s husband Matt driving us through the pouring rain that had just made its way out of Tennessee. We stopped halfway to stay overnight and finished the journey on Friday. When we arrived Friday, we went to athlete check in and Ironman Village and stayed for the opening night ceremony. Being around the other athletes eased my anxiety a little bit.

Saturday we went for a short 2 mile run and then rode our bikes a little to make sure they survived the journey okay. Then we checked in our bikes and run bags for Sunday. My family arrived Saturday afternoon with the best surprise ever- one of my best friends, Susan, came with them. I was so happy to have her there with my family. It meant the world to me that she put her life aside to be there (and endured the ten hour trip with my kids!). Saturday night we all went out to dinner and dessert. I tried to get to bed early, but I tossed and turned all night. I truly don’t think I have ever been that anxious about anything. Felling like that really took me by surprise.

Sunday morning Kelli and I got up at 5:30. I forced down some oatmeal and a banana. We got to the start around 7:00 and dropped off our special needs bags. Special needs bags are bags you can pick up halfway through the bike and run. You put things in it that you think you may need, but you don’t get them back, so you don’t want to put anything important in there. In my bike bag I had an Uncrustable pb&j sandwich, a granola bar and goldfish pretzels. In my run bag, I had a mini Snickers, some Pringles, gummy bears, a stick of gum and an extra pair of socks. I wasn’t sure what I would want at that point.

I was really nervous before the start. Because the swim was cancelled, the race started at 8:00 with 17 pros starting one per minute. At 8:25 the rest of the field started in number order (females first) with two athletes leaving every 5 seconds. Numbers went from youngest to oldest, so Kelli got to start ahead of me. I started around 8:55. The bike is an 11 mile ride out, two 47 mile loops, and 11 miles back to make it 116 (a standard IM is 112, but Chattanooga has always been 116). The bike ride was very enjoyable. The majority of the ride was in northern Georgia and it was just so beautiful. There were rolling hills but nothing too steep (compared to what we trained on).

I did stop halfway for my special needs bag and I saw my family right past that and I got to wave to them. Shortly after that I saw Kate and Anne (our awesome friends who were also there cheering us on). That gave me motivation to hit the second loop as hard as I pushed on the first. The bike ride went extremely fast and I was just so relieved not to get a flat since I saw many people on the side of the road. I love riding my bike, but 116 miles is far! My total time for this segment was 6:45:49, averaging 17.09 which is pretty fast for me. I even stopped twice to use the bathroom since I was drinking so much. I was very happy with that time.

Nutrition on the bike:

Mile 20- peanut butter and chocolate chip granola bar

Mile 40- Uncrustable PB&J

Mile 60- half a banana

Mile 80- Uncrustable PB&J

Mile 100- half a banana

I also snacked on handfuls of goldfish pretzels throughout the second half of the ride. I wanted to be fueled enough to run. I drank a ton of water because it was getting hot.

I came into transition and saw my family right before I got off of the bike. My youngest, Jenna, was holding a sign that said “I want to be you when I grow up”. That totally melted my heart.

I got off of my bike, handed it over to a volunteer and it took me a few minutes to stand up completely straight. I grabbed my run transition bag and headed into the changing tent. I decided to totally change to be more comfortable on the run and I wanted to wear my MDA shirt in support of Owen. I also stopped to use the bathroom again and have the volunteers cover me in sunscreen. My transition time was 12:07, but it was worth every minute.

When I started on the run, my family was there. That gave me the motivation I needed to go. So many people were walking the first hill, but I was determined not to. It was 4 pm at this point, 83 degrees, sunny and very humid. I quickly realized that this would be a matter of making it mile to mile. So I came up with my plan to run from aid station to aid station.

I stuck with this plan and it seemed to work for me. I would run a mile, walk the aid station and then start running again. I drank at every aid station- water and gatorade and I put ice down my top. I did this until about mile 7 where I caught up with Kelli.

We ran together for a bit and then I went ahead around mile 10. When I got to the half, I saw my family again. I picked up my special needs bag, but only took the gummy bears and my stick of gum (which was awesome!). My feet were soaked from sweat and water, but I couldn’t imagine sitting down to change my socks. So I kept plugging away.

At the next aid station, I walked a little longer hoping Kelli would catch me, and she did. We were able to run/walk the rest of the marathon together which was a lifesaver. I don’t think I would have run as much alone and finishing this with Kelli by my side meant so much to me. We walked the hills and ran the downhills. This course was HILLY. We heard that, but thought it couldn’t be worse than Pittsburgh. Well, we were wrong! The worst part was we had to do the loop twice, so those hills were still there the second time around.

We just kept going mile to mile and eventually we were so close to the finish line. I could see the lights and hear the announcer and the crowds. As we ran down the shoot, I was high fiving everyone who had their hands out. We saw our families and I told Kelli to go ahead so we could both hear our names. And then I heard it, “Tracey Smith, you are an Ironman!” I was filled with so much emotion at that point. I put up my hands and had a huge smile on my face. It was a such a sense of accomplishment and relief that it was over.

Total run time: 5:06

Total race time: 12:04:40

Seeing my family and Susan after the race was so wonderful. Everyone was really proud and I was so glad they could experience this with me. After the race, I became very nauseous and had to lay down on the grass for a while. I think I drank so much in fear of dehydrating and cramping. I couldn’t eat on the run- just a few gummy bears and lots of fluids. I told Nate that I never wanted to drink water again! Just the thought of it at that point made me ill. After, a while I felt better and we headed back to the house. My shower that night felt so good (minus the surprise chaffing that I got!)

Overall, it is hard for me to find the words to express the feelings I have about this race. I mostly loved it but I hated it at times. I feel a huge sense of accomplishment that at 44 years old, I decided to train and compete in something that scared me. I feel proud that I set a goal that I stuck to and showed my kids to never give up. I feel a little less helpless that I was able to do something so meaningful for Owen.

But, I also feel an incompleteness because the full Ironman was not completed since the swim was cancelled. So many emotions all wrapped up in my head and my heart. The one that trumps them all though, is that I feel grateful. I am grateful for my body to be able to do this. I am grateful for my friends and family and the support that I received during training, during the race, and after. I am grateful that I was able to raise $8,120.00 for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

I never in my wildest dreams thought the number would be that high. So thank you. Thank you to everyone who donated. Thank you to everyone who supported and keep supporting Owen and I. Thank you to my many friends who shared my training. Thank you to Kelli, who shared this journey with me. And thank you to my family, especially Nate, who endured my training and my schedule and my crabbiness and my hunger. I could never do this without all of this support. It is truly overwhelming and the words thank you don’t seem like enough. I hope everyone knows how much I truly appreciate your love and support.

Now off to plan the next one. You knew I couldn’t do just one!

Congratulations Tracey, you are truly an inspiration. I'll join you on the next one!

My Weight Loss Journey: How I Lost 17 Pounds and 18 Inches

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Thu, 20 Sep 2018 00:36:00 +0000

Ok so this will probably be a long post, but if you clicked then you're probably ready to read it. If you're not ready to read a long post I'll sum up what I'm going to say in one sentence. I lost weight with dedication and consistency to both diet and exercise!

I also decided to invest in myself and hired a nutrition/accountability coach, Tracey, to help teach me what food to eat when and let's face it, to hold me accountable. You can visit her website here. She was absolutely instrumental in my success. I wouldn't be where I am without her. If I'm anything, I am 100% confident in that. She's tough when you need her to be, compassionate when you falter, and most importantly passionate about health and fitness. It goes without saying that she knows her stuff! If you're looking for someone to help you in your journey Tracey is your girl. #notanad

Also some of the pictures I will post are embarrassing, but it's all part of the story so I'm willing to share. Some pictures I'm proud of but it by no means indicates that I think I'm perfect or don't still have areas to work on. I 10000000% am still a work in progress. Ok now that the disclaimers are out of the way. Here goes!

Where did I start you ask? On February 26th, 2018, I weighed in at...

Yup I got there. 149.4 pounds. I'm 5'4". I work out 4 to 6 days a week primarily doing CrossFit. I've been working out for 10 years and my weight has always yo-yoed. You know why? Think about it. If the exercise was the same then I obviously it was the food I was putting in my mouth. I finally made a decision. I wanted my body to look like I worked out as much as I do. Vanity. Yep that was my motivation (but wait later it changes). Here's what 149.4 looks like in the flesh.

February 26th 2018

I will tell you the above person is healthy and she's also happy. I just made a personal decision to get uncomfortable and change my eating habits once and for all. Through my coaching with Tracey I took a "clean eating" approach. I avoided wheat, dairy and sugar (for the MOST part). I focused on the simple concept of proteins, veggies, and fat at EACH meal with carbs mixed in mostly around my workouts.

Tracey believes that both wheat and dairy are inflammatory to the body and asked me to avoid those things. I agreed to pretty much eliminate them from my diet. I did/do eat soft cheese like feta and fresh mozzarella, some Kerrygold Dublinger and sheep's milk manchego. I'm not sure Tracey would agree with my choices at all times, but adding SMALL amounts of these fats to my salads etc. kept me satisfied. I didn't believe I had a problem with wheat or dairy until I quit eating them. I did wonder however, why my belly always looked like this.

This is what I honestly believe is wheat belly. I felt bloated all the time even thought I didn't necessarily realize it at the time. I mean clearly I had fat to lose but if I'm being honest, my belly was never my problem area. Remember everyone, nothing changed really with my workouts, but my belly bloat is gone!

July 2018

If I wasn't a believer before I'm a believer now! I miss bread. Bread is heaven on Earth and I wish I could eat it every day. White bread with a hard crusty edge to be exact, but we are not friends. We broke up and I'm here to tell you bread is like a bad boyfriend! Even if you think it's not bothering you (like I did) it probably is.

Protein and veggies have to become your friends, but they don't have to be boring. Find what flavors keep things interesting and eat that.

I absolutely love huge salads with protein (salmon and mahi are my favorites). I tend to like fattier meats and prefer chicken thighs to breasts. Again, maybe not what Tracey wanted me to eat ALL the time, but I found balance. I ate all the foods I loved with some modifications. It doesn't have to be boring. It can be delicious. Use your fats!

I also still ate out. My son and I still went on our monthly burger dates. I ordered the healthiest burger on the menu bunless with a side salad.

I thought it would be so hard to go without a bun and to not eat fries. What? Like is that a thing? People do that? To be honest, once I cleaned up my palate, I didn't really NEED the fries. Did they still look good? Yes, absolutely yes! What I found though was when I ate a normal portion of clean food with my beloved fats (I'm looking at you mozzarella on that burger) I felt satisfied. I didn't feel deprived and I didn't feel like I NEEDED that fried fatty foods (or bun). Also if Nicholas got fries I'd definitely steal one of his and normally it would just take one bite and I was fine to move on. You might have a serious eye roll right now, but it's true. I'm a self proclaimed junk food junkie but I didn't need it. I was actually HAPPY eating this way.

Now I've talked about what I DO eat, let's talk about what I DON'T eat. I'd be lying if I said there weren't MANY sacrifices. For the most part my family eats what I eat but I make modifications. For instance tacos without the shells or I'll have cauliflower gnocchi while they eat pasta (with their crusty bread-- jerks) but it's easy to cook for the family and for myself at the same time. However, my kids are kids and they like food that is NOT ON MY MEAL PLAN.

So there were days where they wanted pizza and I ordered it for them and I ate chicken and brussel sprouts. Yep it's not all unicorns and rainbows people there are sacrifices and a LOT of them. Something that Tracey told me once really resonated with me (so many things she said did, but this one in particular sticks out). She said that EVERY DAY you can find a reason to cheat so you have to PLAN when it's worth it. I NEVER (I think I can say that honestly) cheated when it wasn't planned. No random Friday night pizza, no weekend ice cream. My cheats were planned and FOR A SIGNIFICANT REASON. I think this concept was key to success! If I didn't plan it, it didn't happen.

I vacationed pretty much from June 15th to August 4th. You read that right. I traveled with George to Vail, went to NYC with friends, Nashville with my family, dad and niece, visited Ocean City, MD for a dance completion, and topped it all off with a family vacation to the beach. That's 8 weeks of fun, 56 days and 168 meals all with reasons to cheat. If I had treated EVERY DAY and every meal as a vacation I certainly wouldn't have reached my goals. 8 weeks could have been 8 pounds and right back to where I started. So does this mean that life can't go on, you can't EVER eat indulgent food. Absolutely not! I had indulgences on EVERY trip, including this...

NYC Bagel top 10 of best things I've ever eaten

and this...

But I worked out hiking through the mountains...

outside literally running and squatting with a gallon jug of water, in cramped ill-equipped hotel gyms and on the beach.

There were a million excuses why not but Tracey didn't take any of them. I remember one day she innocently asked me if I had any down time at the convention center for Ella's dance competition. I told her I did and she made up some horrible workout for me to do during my break. Full makeup and all.

post burpee workout from hell in the loading dock of the convention center

I'm pretty sure it was 100 degrees and I smelled the rest of the day, but I felt better because of it. ALL the wheels weren't falling off the bus. I might be stuck at the convention center for 10 to 12 hours a day with fried chicken tenders at the snack bar (I didn't eat that) but I was in control of my exercise and what I decided to do with what little time I had.

I'm proud to say I made it through the 8 week vacation tour unscathed. It was pretty much a period of maintenance for me.

Before vacation and After vacation

After the vacation tour ended, I went right back to clean eating the MAJORITY of the time. Cheats consisted of sushi or gluten free pizza or simply eating out when you're not in control of EVERYTHING you're eating.

I started to notice more changes in my body. I was leaning out and some of my muscles were actually starting to show.

2010 vs 2018

I knew I had muscles under my fluff and I did. Now you can actually see some of them.

Didn't actually go to the camp (hahaha)

So while the journey started because of vanity, slowly it evolved. I feel amazing. I have tons of energy for my workouts. I rarely feel sluggish at all during CrossFit. My weight is going down but ALL my lifts are going up. Again, nothing at CrossFit has really changed, so I can only attribute it to consistency and my diet. Did I mention everything got better when I changed my diet? I feel empowered by what my body can do and THAT is what now motivates me. Not hating what I see in the mirror is icing on the cake.

So why did I decide to blog about this now? Have I reached the end of my journey? Absolutely not! I have a ton of work left to do. I'm looking at you LEGS! Tracey and I decided together to take a period of maintenance. I've spent a long time in a deficit (losing weight) and it's time to see what true maintenance looks like.

My current weight is 132 pounds. That means in 6 and a half months I lost 17 pounds. However, and this blows my mind, I lost 18 inches! I went from a fluffy size 6 to a small size 4. I feel confident and liberated. Food no longer controls me.

February 2018 vs September 2018

I didn't write this post to boast or brag. I wrote it a) because people asked me to and b) because I'm all about paying it forward. Working with Tracey and changing my diet really did change my life. As a mother of 3 children there are so many things that are out of my control, but I am in control of this. I decide what FUEL I put in my body. I decide my health and wellness. If I inspire ONE person to take control of their lives, then all these half naked pics were worth it!

Buffalo Creek + EQT + Win Gear Courtesy of XShadyside Pilates in Shadyside!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Thu, 17 Nov 2016 12:00:00 +0000

I am hosting a giveaway Courtesy of XShadyside Pilates in Shadyside. You'll have the chance to win some gear of your choice, but first you'll have to read some random thoughts by yours truly to get the chance to enter. Ok honestly nothing is keeping you from scrolling to the bottom, but don't you want to read? I thought so!

I've been such a terrible blogger as of late. I guess I just don't make it a priority in my life. I have no excuses, but I miss it. I miss telling you my thoughts and feeling about my running and everything going on in my life. It's such a creative outlet and therapeutic too. Anyway, I'm here to talk about a few races I've recently done.

I struggled with injury all summer. I have my normal shoulder issues, but in June I got a bulging disc in my back and the effects of that lasted pretty much all summer. So as school started so did my quest to comeback from my injury. I've been working a lot lately (I'm looking at you competitive dance bill) so my workouts haven't been exactly what I've wanted them to be. Again, excuses really. I know I get out of training what I put into it. I haven't been a good running student if you will.

Nevertheless, I signed up for the Buffalo Creek Half Marathon that took place October 15th. I knew I wasn't prepared. I'd worked my way up to 8 miles. 8 miles is a lot, I get it, but it's 5 miles from 13 and 5 miles is a lot too. Ha! I know myself, however, and I knew I could finish the race without injury if I just ran it smart.

Charlene, Lisa, Jaime, Tracey, Me before the race

I was afraid to really make a goal for myself because I honestly didn't know what I was capable of, but I've run enough races to be able to set a realistic goal for myself so I said 10:30 pace (or better). I'm not going to lie, Buffalo Creek is a generous course (read flat) but it kicked my ass. I finished in 2:16:42 or a 10:26 pace. How's that for knowing myself? Not bad. I'll take it. I was truly pleased with what I did that day, but not pleased overall. I wanted/needed to get back to running faster.

Post Race

After Buffalo Creek came the EQT 10 Miler. I had been signed up for it, but honestly I was kind of dreading it. Who looks forward to another lackluster performance? I did ramp up my running and finally felt like I was getting back in a groove, but with just 3 weeks separating races, I wasn't overly hopeful beyond my 10:26 pace.

I talked to some friends about what my goals should be. Kim told me I HAD to beat last year's pace of 9:47. Kortni told me to shoot for running better than a 10:00 minute mile. I decided Kim was crazy (love you Kim) and I'd go with Kortni's goal. I was, however, secretly mad that I couldn't beat last year's time. Remember though, you get out of training what you put into it. Last year I was training for a marathon and running a LOT more. I was barely back at it. 10:00 minute miles seemed logical.

Laura, Charlen, Kate, Jaime, Me, Tracey pre EQT

I lined up for the race with Jaime. We discussed our goals (Hers: 9:15 and Mine: that 10:00 mile). We talked about our last year's times and I explained there was NO WAY I could run a 9:47 pace. I just wasn't prepared or ready. I wished Jaime luck and we started our own separate races.

I did tell myself I would push as hard as I could for as long as I could. I'm usually pretty good about pacing and holding back for when it gets hard in the end. I also know I'm tough and I don't give up. So I told myself push hard and if the wheels fall off at the end, dig deeper. So that's what I did. I pushed and it was hard. There were times I wanted to stop, times I questioned why I was pushing, but I remembered the feeling I was chasing at the end. I kept pushing.

Trust me when I tell you the EQT course is a moderately tough course, but it is sprinkled with unicorns and fairy dust. I honestly don't know how I did it, but I set a PR that day running 1:36:40 or 9:40 pace. It took me til about mile 9 to really do the math and realize PRing was possible. I gave it all I had at the end to make sure I got that PR.

I felt so happy at the end. So happy I got tears in my eyes. It means so much to not believe you can do something (like I truly did NOT believe it was possible) and then it happens. I beat my last year's time by less than 30 seconds.

Pure joy!

I'm still not back to my former running self. I can't even imagine how I ever ran a sub 2:00 half, but I'm getting there. I'm happy to be healthy enough to run and I'm focusing on what my body CAN do and not what I can't.

As your reward for making it to the end, you have the chance to win some gear ($25 Gift Card) from Dick's Sporting Goods Courtesy of XShadyside Pilates in Shadyside. All you have to do is head over to Dick's Sporting Goods and LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS BLOG POST telling me what you'd buy if you won. Enter using the Rafflecopter below or simply by commenting on the blog post. Thanks for reading and thanks to XShadyside Pilates in Shadyside for sponsoring this post.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

When Your First Born Becomes a Man

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Thu, 10 Nov 2016 00:27:00 +0000

I remember sitting in my 5th grade parent/teacher conference with Nicholas' teacher who had been a teacher at that time for nearly 40 years. She gushed over Nicholas telling me what a wonderful young man he was, an who she knew he would become. She gave him so much praise that I cried. I've never heard anyone (other than family) tell me so many wonderful things that they see in my son. She also told me that in January of 5th grade year, something happens and 5th graders change. I tucked that information into the back of my mind and I waited.

And waited, and waited. Nothing happened. He didn't change at all. I still had so much respect for his teacher that I didn't chalk it up to her being crazy, I suspected instead that Nicholas was different. Then last year I was talking to a new friend of mine (also a fifth grade teacher) and she told me that something happens to 5th graders after Christmas and they change. Wait what? The SECOND time I've heard this, but I'm well past January of 5th grade and nothing had changed. Or had it?

Things had changed just not abruptly like I had expected, it was gradual. I'm not sure if this was the change Mrs. 5th Grade teacher was talking about, but it was distinct and it was real. If I'm being honest, it probably happened sooner than I realized, but I wasn't exactly sure what I was looking for.

I look at my son and I realize he's almost a man. He may not be 6 foot tall (he's 5 foot 1) but he's a young man nonetheless. His voice is deeper (most of the time), he's hairier and pimplier (I made up that word), but it's more than his physical appearance. My son doesn't look at me the same. Gone are the random hugs and kisses and snuggles. Gone are mommy and me moments that you enjoy just because your kids is.... well a kid. It's sad and it's a process to understand and adjust to.

Don't get me wrong. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my son loves me. I feel it deep down. We have a great relationship that I really wouldn't change. We have, however, arrived at a point where he doesn't need me the same way. He'd rather spend time in his room on his phone or in the basement playing Playstation. He barely notices if I walk in a room, let alone acknowledges me. It hurts, but I know it's normal. It's part of him becoming less of my little boy and more of the independent adult I'm raising him to be.

So gone are the days walking hand in hand, but here are the moments I've honestly been waiting for. I often wondered what type of young man my son would grow up to be. And guess what? My kid, my quasi-adult little being, is a pretty cool. He makes me laugh with his sense of humor. He gets my jokes and I can say a swear word around him if I want to. He's kind and considerate, well-mannered, smart and hard-working. I no longer have to dream about who he will become. I mean sure I haven't sent him to college and I don't really know what type of an adult he will be, but I know I'm on the right path.

No one ever tells you when you become a mom that one day you'll have to mourn the loss of your little kid. No one until Nicholas' 5th grade teacher. I think that's what she was telling me would happen. It might have just taken until now for me to realize. Goodbye my sweet and precious little boy. Hello to the young man you are and the wonderful man I know you'll become.

Banff Vacation: Lake Louise and Moraine Lake (AKA The Most Gorgeous Place I've Seen)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Sat, 03 Sep 2016 13:32:00 +0000

Everyone keeps asking me how I found out about and decided to go to Banff. Well the answer is easy. This...

A friend of mine posted a picture of Lake Louise on Facebook and I swear it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I asked her where it was and when she mentioned Canada, I knew I had to go. Nicholas has always had the dream of going to Canada (Toronto didn't get it out of his system) so I started doing my research and booked the trip.

We visited Lake Louise after being out in the Columbia Icefields all day and when we got to Lake Louise I got the dreaded dead battery on my camera. I was so devastated. The pictures I took on my iPhone do not do the place justice.

But right now you're still thinking you want to go right? Isn't it the prettiest. You just wait to see what we find next.

It was later in the day when we arrived at Lake Louise, which meant it was a lot less crowded. I highly recommend going later in the day to avoid the crowds. I also heard before 10 am is good.

Even with just an iPhone, I took no shortage of pictures.

Including the "will you please take our picture" picture.

Also this might be the coolest hotel ever. The Fairmont Chateau at Lake Louise. I almost stayed here, but I'm glad I didn't. Not because it's not beautiful, clearly it is, but because it's a little too far away from the town of Banff. It might be worth it to stay here a day or two though.

We only walked around Lake Louise a little bit, but there were plenty of trails for hiking. We were just on a tighter time frame and I knew I wanted to see Moraine Lake too.

I honestly wasn't expecting much from Moraine Lake, I just went on the recommendation of a friend. I thought it would be smaller than Lake Louise but not as impressive. Smaller it was, but less impressive it was not.

As you can see even late in the afternoon/early evening it was still very crowded. The logs you see are actually floating on the water. You step across those to get to the rocks and climb the "mountain." I made a wrong step at one point onto a non steady log and submerged my whole foot and almost fell. Some poor young girl caught me. She was so sweet and I was so embarrassed.

We climbed and it wasn't that difficult.

It was pretty fun to earn that view at the top.

No, not that view. This one!

Is that not the most beautiful thing you have seen? Again, all taken with an iPhone camera! Pictures can not do it justice.

I loved the "ten peaks" as they call it. I think there's more than ten, but who am I to say?

My kids wanted every picture and I had to oblige.

This is one of my favorite pics from the trip. Love him!

I never thought I would see such things in my life. You can't even image anything like this. I'll say it again, pictures do NOT do it justice.

Moraine Lake was definitely a highlight of my trip. There was so much hiking we could have done there, but again we did not due to time. We spent a full week in Banff and didn't nearly touch all the things we could have done. I'm glad we at least got to enjoy a small glimpse of Moraine Lake.

First Day of School 2016

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Thu, 01 Sep 2016 11:54:00 +0000

Another school year begins. We had such a great summer so it was particularly hard to go back!
I find it hard to believe I have an 8th grader. I mean I can clearly remember and have ~~horrid~~ fond memories of my 8th grade year.

Despite digging my heels in, it keeps happening. They keep getting older and older. I do love this child even at this age. His sense of humor is what keeps me loving him daily even when he's in the brain fog of teenagerhood.

Ella is entering 5th grade and is in a whole new building this year. It seems crazy to me because that was just Nicholas and now he's gone and the oldest in his building. Ugh... again, make it stop! Of course Ella was more worried about outfits, hair and supplies than anything else. She wore her topknot or "man bun" as she likes to call it. That girl!

Ella came home at the end of the day and reported all good things. Then she says, "It was too much Power Points with rules. Let's get to the learning!" So I guess she's excited to learn!

Jack is a third grader this year. Not going to say it again (STOP THE GROWING... did I say it? Out loud?) He is VERY excited about his teacher. She's one of the best. ONE (just in case Kylie is reading I said one... not THE best).

He was beyond happy at the start of the day and dare I say even more at the end.

If felt good to send them off and then get a GREAT first day report.

I think Sid missed them too. Or maybe she just enjoyed back-to-school with an uninterrupted nap on the couch.

Best of luck for an amazing school year my loves.

Banff Vacation: Columbia Ice Fields

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Fri, 26 Aug 2016 00:15:00 +0000

Who wants to go walk on a glacier? Because that's a thing! I couldn't believe it and was very excited for this portion of the vacation. It was a tour booked again through Brewster. I had no idea that the drive to the ice fields was 3 hours when I booked the excursion, but it was WELL worth the drive. The drive up was FULL of amazing views and of course when we go there, the glaciers were amazing.

I should mention that we were about 1 mile away form our destination so you know 2 hours 59 minutes into our 3 hour drive and George looks over at me and asks, "you have the tickets?" Um no. NO I do NOT have the tickets. I admit I panicked. I said, "Let's just go home." George stayed calm an we went into the booking place and they reissued our tickets with my confirmation email. Thank God! I was so, so thankful!

What does it take to get out on a glacier? Well one of these bad boys-- an ice explorer with a price tag of $1 million. Crazy right?

It took us about 15 minutes to get out on the glacier and I'll be honest I was disappointed in the amount of space there was to move around. I understand, they have to keep the people safe, but you were roped in a pretty small area. But there are huge holes throughout and it's very easy (and dangerous) to fall through. Still, I wish there was more are to explore.

Not allowed in this area

Red tape marks the boundary

Here's a glimpse of some of the "holes." The water was so blue. The aqua-ish color is caused by the "rock flower." Rock flower is just basically rock dust and it only reflects the blue because of it's wavelength. So it's pretty amazing to see this aqua blue water in the middle of a glacier.

This is the view facing back away from the glacier. Some people book tours to make the trek all the way up (remember it took us 15 minutes by vehicle) and some dumbass people try to do it alone. Our guide told us they lose people every year. Sad that people are so dumb.

To be able to say we walked on a glacier in the middle of the Canadian Rockies is pretty cool! It was definitely a highlight of our trip.

I hope my kids always remember this trip and all the awe inspiring things we saw and did. I hope they're not too young. They all talked about coming back some day with their own kids. I hope they do.

I'll leave you with this pictures. Because. Hello. Cute!

Banff Vacation: Johnston Canyon

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Wed, 24 Aug 2016 21:41:00 +0000

When I booked our trip to Canada, I worried that there wouldn't be enough stuff to keep up busy. I thought we'd spend a lot of time swimming at the pool and relaxing. Um wrong. There is soooooo much to do at Banff National Park, you could stay busy for weeks. I simply found out the best things to do by using, Trip Advisor, locals (servers etc), and our hotel manager.

Johnston Canyon was a recommendation of our hotel manager. She said there would be great views of waterfalls and she wasn't kidding.

We got to the falls and the rapid flowing water was so pretty. Again I rushed to take pictures not knowing we'd see far better views as we scaled the canyon.

My kids were really into taking pictures on the rocks so it worked out.

The hike to the top of the Canyon (on the trail that is) was 1.5 miles. That meant we would get to see the Upper Falls. I was determined to do it.

I honestly didn't know what Jack's hiking capabilities were, but I hoped he could make it.

The hiking trail was actually very easy to traverse. I believe it was a manmade trail making it easy for hikers to make it to the top. I saw young and old alike.

Most people stopped at the Lower Falls and it was very busy to get a picture. We had such an easy time getting that far so we decided to keep going.

It was worth it to go to the Upper Falls because hardly anyone was there and it was much bigger and such a sight to see. The pictures never do all the beauty justice.

I really love the pictures we took at the top of the falls. It was so peaceful up there with all the rushing water and the sound of the tranquil waterfall. Again, the kids were super into taking pictures here.

The also managed to get a rare shot of just mom and dad. I really love this pic!

On the way back down the Canyon, we climbed these rocks. It may not look steep in the pictures but it really was. George passed and was all nervous watching us go up. It wasn't actually hard going up, it was the coming down that was hard.

You only get some chances in life once in a while or maybe even once. I did a little rock climbing at Johnston Canyon in Banff National Park. It was worth scaring George.

He did come up and rescue Ella on the way down. She was scared, but she did great!

I take all these pictures to help me remember. I don't think I'll soon forget! Come back soon for our next adventure in Banff.

Banff Vacation: Banff Gondola

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Mon, 22 Aug 2016 14:49:00 +0000

For those of you that don't follow me on Instagram (@momswimbikerun) or Facebook, our family vacation this year was to Banff National Park in Alberta Canada. I would be remiss to not blog about it because it ranks very highly among all the vacations I have taken. It was amazing.

After some traveling mishaps (2 cancelled flights and losing ALL our bags) our vacation got off to a great start at the Banff Gondola. I booked all our excursions in advance through Brewsters. This particular excursion was riding the Gondola to the top of Sulphur Mountain which is on the outskirts of the town of Banff.

I had imagined this is my mind so many times, (I'd booked the excursions in the spring) but nothing could have prepared me for the views from the top of the mountain.

We were on the mountain for no longer than 2 minutes and I had to have this picture. It was so beautiful. Little did I know there would be more and they'd be FAR better.

It was an easy trek around Sulphur Mountain. It's set up for the tourists and things are kept safe. It may look like Nicholas is on a ledge here. While there is a cliff behind him there were several layers going down and it he'd have fallen he would have only tumbled a foot or so.... probably less Ha!

See, Ella and I are sitting on the first ledge.

I was mesmerized by the amazing views. Everywhere you turned there was a new picture you wanted to take. I wanted my kids in all of them too. No they weren't annoyed. Why would you ask?

The next pic is probably one of my favorite pictures of the trip. Some rando dude asked if we wanted a pic together. I was so thankful he offered. I always feel like an ass asking people. Although I do have to say, I never mind when people ask me. Anywho, he took this pic and I think it turned out great.

I was the photog here!

I'm not sure how long the hike (not really a hike) was to the top. Maybe 10 or 15 minutes but the views at the top were the best.

Oh and in case you are wondering. You can take a series of switchbacks and actually hike up Sulphur Mountain without taking the Gondola. I believe I read it takes 2 to 3 hours. So for us it would have been 5. I'll take the Gondola ride! Ha!

As amazing as this was, the days ahead only got better. The views in Banff NEVER stop.

To be continued....

Ella's First Dance Solo

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Mon, 18 Jul 2016 15:26:00 +0000

I know I've taken a break from blogging and the reasons are multi-faceted. First, my life is like groundhog day and blogging about the same things over and over again seemed boring and not entertaining to anyone (including myself). Also my kids are older and there are less crafts, preschool programs and the like to post. And seriously how many times can you read about my mediocre races? Ha! But there are still things I want to remember and so I'm here to blog about Ella's first dance nationals and first solo because it's a moment I don't want to forget. This could be long.... you've been warned.

Ella has been dancing since she was 4 years old. We've never taken it too seriously. I held her back from competitive dance for a long time (this year was her first year) because it was something I didn't want to do. Looking back, it was unfair to her. She's definitely at a disadvantage to the girls that have been doing competitive dance since they were 5 years old.

I personally think Ella is a beautiful and entertaining performer, but her skills definitely need improvement. She doesn't have a lot of "tricks" (think aerial) and she lacks flexibility. Because of this, Ella doesn't dance in her technique classes with all her friends. She's in a hodgepodge (my words) group of girls and she's the youngest dancing with some girls in high school. When she was assigned to her group during registration in June for the 2016/2017 dance season, she was in the SAME group. It created a lot of stress for me. I wondered if Ella was good enough. I spent days lamenting over the issue and even called and talked to the studio owner (hi Tina). She assured me that Ella's group wasn't the misfits (as I had named them) but they're just a group of girls that learn differently. She explained that the groups are based yes on abilities, but also on the dancer's learning style. She (Tina) encouraged me to trust the process and know that she (and the other instructors) want Ella to succeed and they will put her on the path to do so. I believed Tina, I really did, but it was still a tough pill to swallow. It's hard when you're paying literally thousands of dollars a year for your daughter to dance to know she's behind or not quite as good as other girls her age. Again, this is is what I BELIEVED and contradictory to what Ella's teachers had told me. Even still the writing was on the wall for me and it made me feel sad for Ella.

I had been asking one of Ella's instructors (Jamie) for privates since the first competition. She is a VERY busy instructor and told me she would start after our last competition. Long story short, Ella had her first private with Jamie after school was out in June. During that first private, Jamie asked Ella if she wanted to do a solo at Nationals. I honestly figured Ella must have heard her wrong. How was Ella going to learn and perform a solo in a month's time? Turns out Ella didn't hear wrong and Jamie did want her to do a solo and Ella was on board.

As everyone prepared for Nationals and Ella was on vacation with her friend in California, scheduling lessons with Jamie was very difficult. Ella learned her solo in 3 1/2 hour private sessions and completed her dance less than 2 weeks before Nationals. We were going out of town for the 4th of July and then again the week leading up to Nationals. Ella wound up having 2 more privates with Jamie (a total of 5) for a solo she was to perform at nationals.

Once she knew the dance, I made her practice every day. Not just once, not just twice but AT LEAST 20 minutes twice a day. I loved her routine and she looked beautiful doing it. It is a lyrical routine and there was a LOT of rolling around on the floor. I joked with all my friends that's all she was doing was rolling around. I was so nervous for the competition. I didn't want Ella to feel embarrassed or not do well. She loved her dance and despite feeling nervous she felt confident heading into competition.

I felt more confident after I learned Jamie had entered Ella as a beginner. Not many girls from our studio are entered as beginners so I had no idea what would happen for Ella. Of course, not many girls at our studio are beginners and Ella truly is a beginner. I was relieved and happy with her placement.

When we got to the competition I felt like I would throw up. Jamie, Tina and Sam (all of Ella's instructors) were there and they assured me it would be fine and not to worry at all. I turned Ella over to Jamie and went and sat in the audience. At this point I felt confident about Ella's ability to perform the dance. I knew she could do it. She wouldn't forget her choreography and she'd be able to do her dance. I was still a nervous wreck. I'm her mom, I'm also a type A perfectionist. I wanted her to do well and not feel like she wasn't as good as the other girls.

The more and more routines I watched the more relaxed I became. There were some really good routines but some were not impressive at all. I mean yes to get out there at 12, 8, 10 years old is amazing and that in and of itself is an accomplishment. I'm just saying I expected to see Ella's lack of experience become apparent by watching the other routines and that did NOT happen. I knew her dance was going to fit in and I felt more relaxed.

When Ella came on stage and began to dance, I cried. I don't know why. It was a feeling that just overwhelmed me. It was a sob and only lasted about 10 seconds and I composed myself. I was in awe of her body and her movement. She looked incredibly beautiful up there dancing and when she completed the dance I was overwhelmed with pride.

The girl that went on right before Ella was also in her category. She was a incredibly flexible and her leaps were really good. I thought she put on the best dance I had seen that day, but I did notice that her dance wasn't very fluid. That was one thing Jamie had told me Ella needed to work on and what I kept talking to Ella about during her practice sessions. I would remind her that the dance is one fluid act and not a bunch of little scenes pieced together. I felt like her routine became very fluid and it didn't look as though she was thinking about each step-- it looked very natural. In comparison to the immediate prior competitor, I could tell Ella had done better in the fluidity department. However, this girl put her heel behind her head and I joked that she was "super bendy."

When Ella got off stage, I felt relieved and I was definitely proud of her. Her good friend Eva had competed as well and as they waited for the awards ceremony to start they discussed the likelihood of winning an award. They both "wanted to" but didn't think they would. I really wanted Ella to be realistic with her expectations. She had watched the dancer right before her. I pointed out all that girl's strengths and told Ella it was likely that girl would beat her. If that seems harsh I'm sorry, I just didn't want her to be disappointed. She laughed and said, "Thanks a lot mom."

I talked to Jamie, Tina and Sam after the performances and before awards and they all told me Ella did well. Tina looked me in the eye and said to me, "She did really good." I was encouraged and happy that our studio owner seemed happy with her performance. Jamie admitted how nervous she had been and that she was NOT ok before the performance (she had 3 girls she choreographed). Thank God she didn't let on to that BEFORE.

Jamie and Ella

Fast forward to awards. I sat there in my seat in almost the last row mind you (so much for my confidence in Ella winning awards) and prayed Ella would score Elite High Gold. (The rankings go: Silver, Elite High Gold, Platinum). The awards ceremony is very quick paced. The announcer is announcing names and levels and being a new dance mom I never quite know exactly what's going on. He's also announcing the category champion for each category (lyrical, jazz, tap, etc) Ella's friend was called first and she scored Platinum. I was so happy for and proud of her. Now the pressure was on. Please God, let Ella score Platinum. Then it happened. Ella Tirch: Platinum. OMG I was relieved and happy. Thank you God! Life is good. Then right after.... "And the category champion is Ella Tirch." I almost fell out of my chair. I had no idea what had just happened.

Next they announce each category (type of dance) in the order in which they ranked 10th to 1st. I should have known Ella got 1st because she was announced as the category champion, but I honestly had no idea what was going on. It was all confusing and too fast paced for me. So they're announcing the category and I'm like la-la-la not even thinking Ella's name will be called and then she was announced as the first place winner. I put my hands over my face and cried. I was overwhelmed with emotions-- pride, relief. It was so much emotion and a release of all the worry I had felt with her dance placement.

Next they moved on to announcing the overall winners. This is where the dancers are ranked according to how they scored without regard to their category. So she's now competing against ALL dancers 12 and under no matter what type of dance you did. Ella did lyrical but she was now being ranked against those that did tap, jazz, etc. This was the BIG award. I found myself sitting there with a glimmer of hope that she would be called. I then put it aside and told myself it was pointless to get my hopes up. Be happy with what she got, I told myself. And I was. I truly was so happy and proud and it was beyond my expectations for Ella.

They announce the 10th trough 4th place winners. Ella's friend had gotten 10th place and again I was so proud of and happy for her. I was happy it had been such a great day for our girls. They send the 6th through 4th place girls off and put out the 3rd through 1st trophies. They announce the 3rd place overall winner and it was the super bendy girl Ella had beaten out for lyrical. I was like holy $#*^ Ella's name is going to be called. I knew if she had beaten that girl in the category she'd beaten her in the overall. That's just math and I can do math. Ha! Sure enough Ella's name was called and she was the 2nd place winner in the overall. Again, I cried. I was so overwhelmed and to be honest. SHOCKED.

The lesson to be learned from all of this? First: I will no longer NOT trust the process. I have to know that Ella's instructors know more than I do and they're doing what is best for her and won't put her in a position to fail. Second: I will no longer underestimate my daughter. She's a hard worker and she'll go out there and give it her all.

The feeling of PRIDE, surprise and excitement that I had for Ella will forever go down as one of my best memories as a mother. This is not because she went home with trophies but because all along this child believed in herself. She had confidence, she worked hard and she believed in herself and it paid off. Of course, I can't thank Jamie enough for taking her under her wing and also believing that she could do it. So thank you Miss Jamie for believing in my baby girl.

I'm looking forward to this crazy ride of dance with my amazing daughter. It might not be "my thing" but it sure is hers!

Tracey's Syracuse Half Ironman Race Recap

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Mon, 18 Jul 2016 14:15:00 +0000

Syracuse Half Ironman

1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, 13.1 mile run

June 19, 2016

I asked Susan if could write a blog post about my IM 70.3 Syracuse so I can remember all of the details. I have also had many people interested in what goes into an event like this. So, here it goes-

I decided to train for IM Syracuse 70.3 after my friend Kelli was talking about wanting to do one this year. She researched different ones and we finally decided on Syracuse because of the time of year (not having to train through the summer) and the fact that we could drive to it.

So, in January, the training began. I got back in the pool after two years out of it. I swam two days a week (anywhere between 2000-2500 yards each time). I biked at least three times a week on my bike trainer until it was nice enough to get outside. I ran a lot also, completing a half marathon in April and May. I also refused to give up Crossfit. I love Crossfit and I know it makes me a much stronger athlete. So, I went 2-3 times a week. It was hard to fit everything in, and a lot of days I did double workouts. Many of my workouts were at 5:30 am and also at 10:00 pm. I tried my hardest not to let my workouts take away from my family time. I think I did a pretty good job even if it came with sacrifices and times I just didn’t want to get up or get on the treadmill after the kids went to bed.

Because the triathlon was on Father’s Day, I also decided to dedicate this race to my Dad and raise money for CCMAC, an organization that raises money to increase awareness and prevention of melanoma. My dad passed away in August of 2012 from melanoma.

The Race

Kelli and I traveled to Syracuse on Friday. On Saturday morning, we headed down to Jamesville Beach where the race activities were occurring. We checked in, signed away our life in waivers and picked up all of our race gear. We hit the Ironman store, spent lots of money, and then attended the mandatory athlete meeting where it was repeatedly emphasized how hilly this course was. We got a bit scared! We then checked in our bikes, checked out the swim course and drove the first 12 miles of the bike course. We were told miles 2-12 were all uphill, and that was not a lie. At least now we had an idea of what we were facing.

We headed to meet our families, had a great pre-race dinner at Pastabilities, got our stuff together and headed to bed.

Race Day

The alarm went off at 4 am. Way too early! We got up, ate, collected our things and were off. We got to the race at 5:30, headed to the transition area and got set up. The forecast for the day was 91 and sunny, so we braced ourselves for a long, hot day.

Swim

The swim course was a rectangle with buoys every 100 meters. That was really nice. Kelli’s age group was scheduled to start at 7:16, so I said goodbye to her and wished her luck. My age group went off at 7:56, so I stood around and looked for my mom and her friend Mark. I finally found them, got in the water and we were off! The swim was pretty uneventful. It is my favorite part of the triathlon. I exited the water, really enjoyed the wetsuit strippers and was off to transition. My goal for the swim was 40 minutes.

Time: 39:16.

Transition 1

It was a bit of a run to the transition area. I stopped to use the bathroom, got my bike gear on, applied more sunscreen and was off.

6:02

Bike

Let me start my saying that the bike is my weakest part of the triathlon. I also worry a lot while riding that something will happen to my bike that I won’t be able to fix. That is my biggest fear- not being able to finish because of a mechanical problem, not a physical one. So, I started out on the bike very nervous. What a course! The first 12 miles were grueling to say the least. There were some more good climbs in there, including one at mile 48 where I saw people pushing their bikes up the hill. I only stopped once on the bike course at mile 40 to use the bathroom. Because it was so hot, I was hydrating, hydrating, hydrating, so it was good sign that I had to go to the bathroom again. I also took advantage of the bike time to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a pretty melted granola bar. The end of the bike course was good, despite my bike mileage being over 56 miles. My goal for this was 15 mph.

3:48:20 14.72 mph

Transition 2

I changed shoes, put my visor on, applied more sunscreen and used the bathroom again.

5:06

Run

Going into this race, I thought the run would be my strongest part, until I saw the weather forecast. I decided not even to wear my watch and just listen to my body and run (for those of you who know me, you know this is hard for me to do!). This course was very difficult. It was a two loop course, so we had to run the same hills twice. Add in the 90 degree temperature and a very sunny sky, it was pure torture. My only goal was to finish at this point. I ran aid station to aid station (every mile). I drank so much Gatorade and water I thought I would float away. I also ate a bunch of salted pretzels and keep putting ice down my top. I ran through every hose possible. I saw Kelli three times on this run. Mentally, it was great to see her. She looked strong. The middle of each loop had a hill designed by the devil himself. I did not see one person running up that hill. I walked it both times. I was so scared of cramping or getting light headed from the heat. I decided that my time was not important. Seeing my mom and Mark at the turn around helped a lot. I told them the second loop was going to be slow. The second loop actually ended up being very close in time to the first loop. I took it aid station by aid station again. Until finally I made it.

2:22.51 (1st loop- 1:11:15, 2nd loop- 1:11:36)

Running down to the finish line was the best feeling. It was such a relief to be done.

Review of the course

Overall, the Syracuse 70.3 course was very challenging. There were lots and lots of hills, which I am used to training in Pittsburgh. I do love challenges. I would definitely attempt this course again. The race itself was extremely organized. I need to give a huge thanks to the volunteers. They were absolutely incredible! From the wetsuit strippers to the sunscreen sprayers to the people giving out gatorade, water and ice- they were all amazing. So supportive and energetic and encouraging. Hands down the best volunteers I have ever encountered. I really needed them on such a tough day and they did not disappoint. I also have to thank my mom and Mark for driving from Long Island to watch me compete. It really meant a lot to me.

I really want to congratulate Kelli for finishing her first half Ironman on a tough course in not so ideal conditions. Kelli, you rock and I look forward to completing many more races with you. You push me to do better and I really enjoyed sharing this experience with you.

Tracey and Kelli

This was definitely not the race I had envisioned in my mind. I had a goal time of 6:30. I finished in 7:01:35. On another day, I would have been very disappointed in myself. But, for once, I was proud of myself. I trained well, I gave it my all, and I raced smart in the heat. I know my dad was watching out for me that day, giving me the strength to push through.

I want to thank everyone who donated to CCMAC and everyone who supported me. I received so many texts and messages wishing me luck and had numerous text messages from friends when I turned on my phone after the race. I especially want to thank Susan who rode many miles next to me on her bike when she didn’t have to. She also got me this necklace before I left which was so very thoughtful. I have so blessed to have all of these amazing people in my life!

Will I do another one? Never say never, right? A full Ironman is on my list to complete by age 50. I have 7.5 years to train. Hopefully that is enough!

Thanks for reading!

How Clean Eating Finally Worked for Me

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Sun, 01 May 2016 01:43:00 +0000

Even though I've been a crappy blogger lately, I'm always posting on Facebook and Instagram. You should be following me there. For those of you that are have been reaching out and asking me what am I doing to "eat clean" I'm finally here to answer your questions.

First, I have a major love for food and I tend to eat lot of junk. I'm looking at you Lay's potato chips. I'm also the queen of the yo-yo. Why you ask? Because I couldn't find a way of eating that I could maintain for any length of time. Until now.

Here's the thing, even though I felt like I knew what I was doing, I had no idea. It used to be, in my 30s and even up to last year, I could cut my portions and calories and lose weight. Calories in vs calories out right? WRONG! So wrong! I found myself eating far too few calories and feeling starving. Enter my friend Tracey.

Tracey and I have been friends for about 4 years. She's an athlete (triathlon, CrossFit) and we're both moms to the most awesome Jacks in 2nd grade. She and I run (literally and figuratively) in a lot of the same circles. I've talked to her about nutrition A LOT.

Me and Tracey

Tracey knows my struggles with food and I think honestly she probably gave up on me. But this year starting January 1 I decided to take off the 15 pounds I spent 2015 packing on to my body. By April 1 I had lost maybe 2 pounds. I was frustrated. My old tricks weren't working. So I started talking to Tracey about my frustrations and she rolled her eyes (not really.... I hope) and set out to have another conversation with me about food, nutrition and "clean eats".

Tracey focuses on not only WHAT you eat (I mean duh), but also when you eat it and how much you eat of certain food groups. I can't get into all the specifics of what to eat when EXACTLY, but I'm going to share what she taught me.

Life is now about "coloring" my food. No I don't mean putting different color foods on your plate literally. Let me explain. Every food has a color and I'll explain it in simplest terms.

Blue: Protein
Green: Veggies
Red: Natural Carbs
Purple: Simple Carbs
Yellow: Fat

And there's really only one thing you need to know from here. Blue + Green = Lean (I'm pretty sure that's trademarked by Tracey). George joked with me, "well, what does purple + red equal?" My answer? Purple + Red = Dead.

Tracey taught me to eat mostly blue and green with a smattering of red NEAR YOUR WORKOUTS and to use purple and yellow sparingly. I really focus on the blue + green. And since I know people really want to see EXACTLY what I've been eating. Here are some samples.

Dinner:
Grilled chicken breast: Blue
Black Beans: Red
Tri Color Peppers: Green
Cauliflower Rice: Green

Dinner:
Homemade Grass Fed Organic Hamburger: Blue
Spring Mix: Green
Carrots: Green
Dressing (less than 5 gm sugar per serving): Purple

Dinner:
Flank Steak: Blue
White Potato: Red (Not Tracey approved.... sub sweet potato)
Spring Mix: Green
Tomato: Green
Carrot: Green
Half Serving Dressing: Yellow
Half Serving Feta Cheese: Yellow

Dinner:
Pork Tenderloin Grilled: Blue
Sweet Peppers: Green
Red and Sweet Potatoes roasted: Red

Dinner:
Mahi Mahi: Blue
Mango Salsa (Mango, onion, jalapeno): Green/Purple
Cilantro: Green
Corn Tortilla: Red
(I could definitely have used more green in this meal) So yeah, ditch the tortillas and make it a salad

Lunch:

Salmon Burger: Blue
Organic Salsa: Green
Spring Mix: Green
Strawberries: Purple
Half Serving Dressing: Yellow
Half Serving Feta Cheese: Yellow

Lunch:

Salmon Burger: Blue
Organic Salsa: Green
Broccoli: Green
Shaved Kerrygold Dubliner cheese: Yellow

Post Workout Breakfast:
Banana: Purple
Eggs: Blue
Salsa: Green
Steak: Blue

Breakfast:
Eggs: Blue
Salsa: Green
Mushrooms: Green

Post workout Breakfast:

Eggs: Blue

Salsa: Green

Red and Sweet Potatoes: Red

Snacks:
Cucumbers: Green
Cashews: Yellow
(green and yellow make good snacks. I find I need the fat to keep me full.)

Whole day worth of Snacks for work:

Apple and Cashews: Purple and Yellow

Cucumbers/Carrots/Turkey and Mustard: green/green/blue/yellow/hmmm I don't know what color mustard is.

Organic Grass Fed Uncured Beef Stick

I eat a LOT of the same things over and over again because that is what works for me. I'm a creature of habit and I kind of like what I like. In addition, these are only the foods I took pictures of. Obviously these are not the ONLY meals I have eaten.

When I eat blue + green and add in bits of red, purple and yellow I feel full and satisfied. Before my meals would be RED + RED + RED and a tiny bit of blue and I'd wonder why I was hungry in a few hours. I couldn't keep myself full and it was miserable.

Listen, I will ALWAYS have food demons. I love food and I don't necessarily love to eat super clean. I'm a foodie. I love good food that's not good for you, but I also have goals for how I like to look and feel. As I've gotten older it's really taken me buckling down. I'm not sure why "coloring" my food worked for me. I visualize the colors as I'm putting them on my plate and it helps guide me as to what I should be eating.

You can eat salads all day long but if it's full of purple, red, and yellow (dressing, bacon, avocado, feta cheese, fruit) it's not a "healthy" salad. I only allow myself to have on serving of fat at a meal. So 1/2 a serving of dressing and 1/2 a serving of feta. I certainly don't do more than one serving of red in any meal. HUGE for me. I didn't realize having clean organic yogurt, granola and fruit could be a detrimental as eating a candy bar.

Listen, I'm certainly no expert (that's Tracey) but this is finally working for me. The weight is coming off. I'm now down 8 pounds since January. Sure the weight is coming off slowly, but I feel like it's coming off the right way with more likelihood of staying off.

Also I should disclose that I do have 1 to 2 cheat meals a week. It's what keeps me going and I really don't care what I eat when I cheat. It's my time to get it out of my system so to speak. I do it on the weekends and it allows me to reset for the week.

In addition, I'm drinking about 80 ounces of water a day and don't drink much else. Just coffee and an occasional Diet Coke (disgusting I know) or glass of wine with my cheats.

I really hope taking a look into what I'm doing helps you, but I'm a firm believer that Tracey can help anyone that REALLY wants help and is willing to listen and do what she says. She will evaluate YOUR body and help you determine your goals. She'll even intervene on your pantry (*shudder) and help you figure out what to ditch and what to keep. I really enjoyed the personal shopping trip we did to Costco. I learned so much there and I was surprised on just how much there is out there to eat on a clean diet. It's not ALL broccoli and salmon.

If you're interested in Tracey's help please reach out to her at CleanEatsCoaching@gmail.com for her nutritional services and pricing.*

*While I told Tracey I would provide her contact information for this post, and obviously I benefited from her services, the opinions I offered about what she taught me are my own. Meaning, this isn't some bullshit post to get you to use her services. It's just me telling you what finally worked for me and believing in someone who has a passion for helping people AND knows what she's talking about. What Tracey teaches you isn't a fad or a shake, it's learning how to use food to fuel your body. I encourage you to let her share her passion with you. You won't regret it!

Hiking Camelback Mountain

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Fri, 08 Apr 2016 02:11:00 +0000

I know you guys were hoping that I'd be here blogging about my healthy eats lately, but I'm so far behind on blogging and I'd be sad if I never blogged about my trip to Arizona with Ella. I'm working on my healthy eats post too.

When I planned my trip to Arizona, Bianca told me she wanted to take me hiking. I was very excited as hiking is something I feel like I could truly get behind. I'm not sure what I pictured exactly, but I did NOT picture this.

Luckily it wasn't blazing hot in Arizona the week we were there. It was about 55 degrees when we started. Don't worry, I heated up quickly. When I saw the first big hill I thought I'd die and as it turns out this one isn't even big.

Pictures never ever do hills justice. This is literally a mountain and I had to climb it. It was definitely a challenge, but I loved every minute. The views were so amazing. I had to stop every few minutes just to snap pictures.

Including a selfie (of course)!

As we went further up the mountain, it was less of a trail as seen before, but more of just rock. It took some finesse to make it up without killing myself.

Bianca moved with ease and kept me going the whole way. She's a beast!

It took almost a full hour, but we made it to the top. I was taken bake by the scene from the top. Totally work every huff and puff.

My relationship with Bianca is so special to me. She is one of the most selfless people I know. She's easy going and genuinely kind and upbeat. So if you're going to hike to the top a mountain with anyone, you'd want it to be Bianca. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Thanks for taking me on this adventure B, it's not one I'll soon forget.

Tune in again soon for more Arizona adventures. I thought this was great, but every day I spent in Arizona got more amazing than the next.

In the Backyard with a Baseball Bat

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Fri, 18 Mar 2016 00:58:00 +0000

This picture stirred up all kinds of emotion in me today. This pic was taken in 2011, Ella was 6. I remember this day very clearly. The boys were playing baseball in the backyard and Ella wanted to play too. Never mind that she was decked out in her plaid skirt and pearl necklace shirt. It didn't matter, she threw on the UA baseball cap and was ready to bat. This story doesn't end with how wonderful she was even in a skirt. No as I recall she was quite terrible. Ha!

That's not what I wanted to talk about, however. What I wanted to say was I miss these days terribly. I think I took them slightly for granted. I've always been so thankful for all the time I got to spend with my kids, but I don't think I realized that my days of playing in the backyard after school were so numbered.

Every day there is somewhere to go. Someplace to be. Everyone is involved in activities and I definitely wouldn't have it any other way. A free evening is a luxury and not something we get often. I'm not alone. Everyone I know is in the same rat race. It's just how life is these days I think.

So I look at that tiny smile looking up behind the big brim and it brings me back to simpler days and I miss them. Then I feel badly for not embracing the time I'm in. I spend a LOT of time missing my babies and I'm not exactly sure why. Sure they were cute and sweet, but if I'm being honest they still are.

Ella is so extremely loving. It's my job to build her up, make her feel good about herself and teach her all the things. Yet every day she amazes me with her love and compassion. When she looks at me and tells me she loves me, I believe it and I feel it in my soul. Out of the blue she'll tell me how beautiful I am and look at me with adoring eyes. I wonder what I did to get so lucky. For her to love me so much. How did she learn to be this amazing little person?

Then I realize, it's the bond we share and one that started long ago and probably in a pearl necklace in the backyard with a baseball bat.

Don't Sit in Judgment of my Athlete Just Because She Doesn't Kick a Ball

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Mon, 07 Mar 2016 01:20:00 +0000

I'm here to talk about being a dance mom. It's a world I never pictured myself being in, but one I'm in nonetheless. It's a world I didn't understand nor had I been a part of prior to experiencing it with Ella. I had some learning to do and maybe some others do too.

From the moment I posted these pictures on my Facebook page, I felt judged. People commented about her barely there outfit and I'll admit it stung a little bit.

I get it, she's standing there in bootie shorts and a sports bra, but guess what so do Olympic swimmers, Olympic gymnasts, and Olympic Volleyball players just to name a few.

When you look at my daughter, if you don't see an athlete then you're not getting it.

If you look at my 10 year old in a sports bra and booty shorts and make it sexual, well then I'm sorry but that's on YOU.

My daughter trains for her dances 16 to 20 hours a week. Would it make you feel better if when she was there she was kicking around a ball?

Is it the make up that bothers you? I get it. She's 10, but that's just it, she's 10. She doesn't wear make up in her every day life. She understand it's part of a costume and it's part of being a performer. It's so the judges can see those sassy faces she's making and she doesn't get drowned out by the lights. It's not so she can parade around pretending to be 25 years old.

I spend a LOT of time with Ella teaching her about beauty from within and esteem. I teach her that her self worth isn't based on how she looks, what she wears or the like. Beauty is about kindness, compassion and being her unique self.

So if you think I'm putting my daughter in dance and sending her all the wrong messages by dressing her up in makeup and curling her hair, then you don't know about our family at the core.

Sure Ella looks at herself in makeup and feels pretty. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but she also goes to school some days where I question if she's even brushed her hair.

I'm proud my daughter is a dancer. I don't care about the costumes, because they're just that costumes.

So while my daughter is beautiful and the costumes and the make up make it seem as though that's what we're emphasizing, well quite frankly that's an assumed adult reaction. It not how my 10 year old feels-- AT ALL!

This girl walked off the stage of her first dance competition and felt proud about the countless hours she put in and knowing it paid off. She felt empowered by the feeling she got on stage. She felt strong in her sparkling costume.

I'm not worried about sending my daughter the wrong message because I know I'm doing what's right for her. I know the intimate conversations we have. I know the bond we share. I know that I tell her beauty comes from within. I know she knows the difference between performing on stage and every day life. I know that she can look at a situation and evaluate it for its worth. I know, above all, you can strip her of all the hair, makeup and costumes and she'd still be beautiful because she radiates from the inside.

So don't sit in judgment of my athlete just because she doesn't kick a ball.

CrossFit Open Workout 16.2

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Mon, 07 Mar 2016 00:18:00 +0000

Ugh whose idea was it to sign up for the Open anyway? 16.2 is in the books and it was... well you be the judge.

The workout was:

25 Toes to Bar
50 Double Unders
15 squat cleans in 4 minutes (Increasing weight and decreasing rep squat cleans in each round)
Move on to next round if round 1 complete in 4 minutes

It's more complicated than that, but those that know CrossFit probably already know and those that don't, that's all you need to know.

So I thought about doing the workout Rx, because I figure I could do the Toes to Bar and the double unders and then see if I even make it to the squat cleans.

Well I went to the box on Friday night and learned in my six month hiatus, I lost my toes to bar. You don't use it, you lose it folks. Ok so Rx is out.

Scaled Workout:

25 knee raises
50 single under
15 55 lb squat cleans

So I started trying to do single unders and knee raises, neither of which I'm accustomed to doing. Well I found out I couldn't hang from the bar. My shoulder just wouldn't let me hang there for any length of time. Practicing Toes2Bar felt better than just hanging there on my shoulder. I even showed the coaches me hanging from the bar and they unanimously said, "yeah no, you can't do that, it doesn't look right." Now knee raises are out.

So Tammy (my box owner) told me to modify further and do sit ups. Scale the scaled. I felt so defeated. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want to have to scale the scaled. I was mad and feeling all kinds of emotions and then mad at myself for feeling mad and feeling emotions. I'm so complicated. Nonetheless this is what I had to do.

So time started and I banged out the sit ups and the single unders (I'm slow at those... it just doesn't feel natural anymore) and then hit the 55 lb squat cleans. It felt good. I was on to the next round.

Again, I banged out the sit ups and the single unders and then my squat clean weight increased to 75 pounds. I've never been strong. I don't have a one rep max squat clean in my history, but my one rep max clean is 110 pounds and my one rep max front squat is 125. I should be able to squat 75 pounds relatively easily. Um no. It might as well have been a Mack Truck. It wasn't the clean portion it was the squat. My form was terrible. I could feel myself leaning forward (chest not up), I wasn't in my heels, elbows collapsed, knees not going out. It was terrible and every one felt awful. I squeaked out 6 before I hit the 8 minute mark and my time was up.

171 total reps.

I'm most mad at myself for being mad at myself. I've now been to 3 WODs and 2 Open WODs in 6 months. I hadn't squatted anything until the Thursday prior to this WOD. If you don't squat for 6 months then guess what? You're going to lose some of your strength. Novel concept no? But my brain just doesn't agree with my body. My brain tells me I can do it, but my body won't let me. It makes me feel so defeated and in this case I felt so embarrassed. I'm just being honest.

I've been telling myself all weekend that things will come back. I just need to put in the work. I might not be where I was, or where I want to be, but I'm in the box and that's more than I imagined for myself a few months ago.

I have to accept the fact that I have a new normal. I may never do some things again and that will have to be ok. I need to remind myself of this every day.

One thing I can say is how happy I am to be there with my friends and watching each of them accomplish amazing things each week. A huge congrats to Kim, Meghan and Tracey on amazing WODs for each of them. I proud of each of you!

CrossFit Open Workout 16.1

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Tue, 01 Mar 2016 23:09:00 +0000

You might be surprised by the title of this post. Like what in the heck is she doing? Truth is I'm surprised too. I NEVER ever intended to do the Open this year at all. I'll admit I was sad about it. My friends were signing up and went to the intramural sign up party. I felt sad that I wasn't a part of it, but I accepted it being what it was. After all, I had just come back to CrossFit and had 2 WODs under my belt in 6 months. Enter my friend Tracey Weaver. This is how it went down:

So I thought about it for 2 or 3 days and I wound up signing up. The Open has always been about doing it for ME and no one else. This year would/could be no different. I would do the scaled workouts and if I couldn't do something, I wouldn't worry about it. I felt a LOT less pressure going in.

Then the WOD was announced:

Complete as many rounds and reps as possible in 20 minutes of:

25-ft. front rack walking lunge

8 burpees

25-ft. front rack walking lunge

8 jumping chin-over-bar pull-ups

And so the nerves and the stress began. Still I didn't feel as much pressure going into the workout, but I also had the feeling of being unprepared. Essentially no CrossFit for six months coupled with having bronchitis for over a month, I knew this wasn't going to be pretty.

I went all there though and I gave it my all. The first few walking lunges felt uncomfortable for sure. Think about not doing something for six months and then just trying to do it. It takes awhile before things just come back. So I felt wobbly and the weight felt heavy, but I go through it.

The burpees are an "easy" movement for me, but my lungs really got burning.

By the time I lunged again and got up on the box for jumping pull ups I was breathing heavy. I was able to do ALL my jumping pull ups unbroken. And by all I mean every round. That made me happy.

But my breathing was labored and I mean bad. I felt a burning in my chest so bad and literally just felt like I couldn't breathe. I had to take several breaks, hands on my knees just to recover. I felt embarrassed for having to break, but it was that or puke and I wasn't going to puke.

The whole workout was basically just round after round of what I just described coupled with me looking at the clock praying the 20 minutes would just end.

Tracey Weaver was there cheering everyone on. She yelled at me that I had 90 seconds left and to bust out the burpees. I dropped and did 8 burpees as fast as I could at the time. When I finished at them Jess was yelling at me to go, go, go to get in as many lunges as I could. I looked at her and said, "Jess I can't." I meant it. I couldn't but she said I could and so I went and immediately dropped the bar. My legs were so wobbly. I had nothing left. I picked up the bar one more time and made one more lunge. I'm not sure any of those last 2 lunges I did even counted, but I know I had given it my all.

Pain Face

I scored 170 reps. Yeah it's not a lot. Yeah it would have been a lot more had the last 6 months hadn't happened. Yeah I'm not happy about it. Yeah I've over analyzed and even hated myself over it. I'm a competitor. I want to be the best I can be. Maybe my body wasn't quite ready for the open, but I'm doing it. I'm trying to be proud of that.

After I was finished Ella came up to me and told me how proud she was of me. She told me all that matters is that I had tried my hardest and she could tell I had. That meant a lot to me. My daughter DOES hear what I say. Maybe I should follow my own advice.

As if the workout didn't kick my ass enough, I was really down after seeing the pictures from the WOD. I felt huge and out of shape. (This is really a feel good post isn't it.) I was complaining to Kim about how I hated what I saw and this is what she said, "Susan. I was there. I watched you workout. I never saw anything but a beautiful strong woman who was very determined to do her very best." That resonated with me so much. Maybe I'm not what I think I am in my mind. Maybe people don't see what I see. Maybe I can finally just be ok with today's personal best.

Skating at Schenley Park

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Tue, 16 Feb 2016 01:45:00 +0000

The kids had off school today so we decided to go ice skating at an outdoor rink. You know because we don't get enough ice time in our lives. Ha. Jack got to bring a friend because the previous day Ella had a sleepover and Nicholas had 3 friends over for an epic knee hockey game. We went out to lunch first.

It was the perfect day really. It wasn't totally freezing (about 36 degrees) so we enjoyed ourselves without getting cold. Except Ella's ankles were exposed because her tights didn't go to the ankle.

All the boys are ice hockey players so you can imagine what they were doing out there. I barely got them to stand still for any pics.

Ella is so sweet and loving. She wanted to hold my hand and kept telling me how good I was doing. Yes I'm the worst skater in the family. I'm actually not a bad skater. I'm just not too good at stopping. It's HARD!

I usually only last about 15 minutes on hockey skates. They tend to hurt the arches of my foot really badly.

But I lasted almost the full two hours that we were there. I could have stayed out longer, but it started to rain and wet hair was annoying.

Ella and I were pretending to be figure skaters and trying to kick our legs out behind us and glide. We cracked up so much because neither one of us had any skills.

George tries to teach me how to stop, but I suck at it. Normally I just glide into him and it's like hitting a big tree and I stop. It works.

Nicholas was teaching me a thing or two and I managed to skate on my edges and do some crossovers. Yay me! His skating is ridiculous. I mean he's such a good skater. Yeah he's my son and I'm bragging. It's just he makes me so proud.

Jack and Lukas are amazing as well.

I had to tell them to settle down because they were going sooooo fast and swerving in and out of people and (as you can see) they weren't wearing helmets. I was nervous, but they are so confident.

I think we all had a great time. There wasn't anything too special about the day, but sometimes those days create the best memories.

Why I'm Returning to CrossFit Against Medical Advice

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Thu, 11 Feb 2016 12:33:00 +0000

My last CrossFit workout was August 10th 2015. That's 6 months to the day and yesterday I decided to return to the sport I love so much.

First, my diagnosis: I had TWO MRIs during the time I was off from CrossFit. The long and short of it is.... I have/had bursitis in my shoulder and in my collar bone as well as a deep bone bruise. In addition, I have degenerative disease in my shoulder. Basically my shoulder is 20 years older than I am in age. Not good!

But then I think of my dad who is 73 (almost) years old and he goes to CrossFit. His shoulder is 30 years older than mine.

Because of the way my humerus healed when it broke, my shoulder isn't able to move in certain ways. It makes equilateral movements very difficult. My shoulders aren't equal. You can really see how I compensate in the pic below.

So when my shoulder can't move the way it should, my collar bone tries to compensate. That's how you wind up with bursitis in your collar bone. I am at increased risk for really damaging or snapping my collar bone.

Yeah that all seems scary. That coupled with the pain I was in daily while doing CrossFit and just fear of the unknown has kept me from my beloved CrossFit for 6 months. I am now pretty much pain free day-to-day. I have days when I use my arm more that it will get sore and I can definitely still get achy but it's a dramatic (95%) improvement. So I started to consider returning to CrossFit even though two doctors told me my body isn't built for it.

I gave it a LOT of thought for a VERY long time (every damn day for 6 months). I went back and forth about giving it up. I tried to figure out where my place in my workout life would be. I was floundering. Then I thought back and realized I SUCCESSFULLY Crossfitted for 3 years before I had problems. THREE years.

So I started thinking about what the differences were between CrossFit in the beginning and CrossFit at the end. I realized in the beginning I was conservative and I didn't lift heavy weight (for me). I took things slowly and wasn't able to do MOST things.

So I'm going back to my roots. I'm going to focus on form over weight. I'm going to modify every damn thing if I have to and I won't do anything that causes me pain. I'm also not going to go four days a week. I'll go 2. I think moderation will be the key to my success.

I know not everyone (mom) will understand my decision, but George supports me and that's HUGE to me. He's not one to sugar coat and I know he supports me in my return. He knows everything I've been through every day and all the doctor's advice and he still supports me. Even if I think I'm crazy, I know he's not and I know he'll keep me in check.

Returning to CrossFit yesterday just made me generally SO happy. I'll take care of my health I promise. I don't recommend anyone go against medical advice. This is the decision I made FOR ME and I NEED it.

3M Half Marathon Race Recap 2016 and Food Recap (because Austin)

noreply@blogger.com (Susan Tirch) — Mon, 25 Jan 2016 22:14:00 +0000

My friend Julie texted me and asked if I was planning to come to Austin for 3M this year. With plans of traveling to Arizona in March, I planned to sit 3M in Austin out this year. I immediately said no and then immediately looked up prices for flights to Austin. Too expensive. Then I came up with the bright idea to fly into Houston (a LOT cheaper), pick up my friend Kortni and drive to Austin and it suddenly became doable.

Of course the first thing I wanted was food so for dinner we went to Rudy's.

This meal made me giddy. I was so happy and it was as good (better) than I remembered. Thanks for indulging with me Kortni and fam!

The next day we got up super early and made the drive to Austin (about 2.5 hours). We met up with Julie, Val, Bianca and Chrystal for packet pick up.

Julie, Kortni, Susan, Val, Bianca, Chrystal

Val and Julie had plans for the day, but I had plans for more eating. I couldn't wait to eat at Torchy's which is my favorite taco place in Texas.

Once again, the food didn't disappoint. I could eat this food every day!

After lunch we hadn't had enough so we headed to the Gourdough's trailer for a hot, fresh, topped donut. I always wanted to try Gourdough's when I lived in Austin, but never got around to it.

Gordough's is a fried donut topped with your choice of toppings. There's all kinds of different combinations, but I chose the black out which was brownies, chocolate chips and chocolate sauce. Good lord it was good. I ate half and shared the other half with Chrystal's daughter.

We then stopped by the Austin sign. It was the touristy thing to do. Glad to do it.

I think we went a whole 2 hours without eating before we headed out to carb load. Julie hooked back up with us for an Italian feast.

I had 2 glasses of wine and I was so tired. I was in bed and asleep by probably 9:15. It made the 5:30 wake up call seem so much better. In fact, I woke up before my alarm.

We stayed at a great hotel just steps from the start line. It was definitely chilly at the start (about 35 degrees) and I really wasn't prepared for it. I had throw away clothes, but wound up borrowing a long sleeve from Kortni to wear during the race. I was afraid I'd be too cold.

I planned to run with Val for this race. I wanted to run a 10:00 pace. I thought it would be easy. Um yeah. It quickly became apparent that a 10:00 pace wasn't going to happen.

Mile 1 through 3 were hard. I kept thinking I would warm up to the pace but I never did and I saw myself getting slower.

Mile 1: 10:05

Mile 2: 10:15

Mile 3: 10:15

I planned to take my Gu at mile 4, but the water stop was earlier than I had anticipated so I waited until mile 5, which wasn't ideal because I was starving and I needed the fuel.

Mile 4: 10:22

Mile 5: 10:18 ----> Gu

We also saw our cheerleaders (Tony and Val at mile 5ish)

After my Gu I did start to feel better, but by then I realized it was too little too late. I had been "slow" and I wasn't going to make up the time. I kept telling myself I didn't care, but deep down I know I did. I wanted to be faster, but honestly I didn't want to do the work. I wanted to enjoy it.

Mile 6: 10:25

Mile 7: 10:11

We saw Tony and Julie again at around mile 8. At that time I think I was more ok with the idea of just having fun.

Mile 8: 10:15

Mile 9: 10:27

Mile 10: 10:38 ----> Gu

By mile 10 I was ready to be done. I hadn't trained past 10 miles and I think I was just ready for it to be over with. By then I also realized I had a LOT let in the tank. I decided to pick up the pace and immediately hated myself for dogging it the whole damn race. Why can't I just be happy with being happy? hahaha

Mile 11: 10:02

Mile 12: 10:00

Mile 13: 10:08

The race finishes with a slight up hill and you round the bend and have literally .1 to go to the finish line. Val and I started sprinting to the finish. I could see the clock and thought maybe if I sprinted we could come in just under 2:15. I gave it everything I had.

Mile 13.2: 1:53

Garmin Time: 2:15:13 13.2 miles

Average: 10:15 pace

Official Time: 2:15:10

Official Average: 10:19 pace

I wasn't happy and I wasn't sad at the end. I was just indifferent. I was kind of mad at myself for not giving it my best effort. I have good races and bad races, but most times I can say I gave it my best effort. I didn't this time and that makes me disappointed in myself. Regardless I had a great time and am so glad I got to spend it with GREAT friends.

Bianca

Kortni PR this race!!!

Julie the awesome cheerleader (didn't run b/c she's injured)

Val

I can't thank Val enough for running with me. She and I chatted the whole entire time. It's nice to run and talk to a friend, but especially nice when you haven't seen said friend in a year. Running with Val again this year was quite different than last year, but fun in a whole other way. Love you Val!

Congrats to all my amazing friends. Everyone had a great race! Kortni PR this race finishing in 1:45. Val and Bianca (who is also injured) finished under 2:00 (1:57). You ladies inspire and amaze me as always!

After a shower, Kortni, Val and I had some brunch after which Kortni and I said goodbye and headed back to Houston.

Goodbye Austin. Until next time!