A journey to remember

Friday Flashback

2011-12-23T09:53:00.004+08:00

-How time flies, Sufina is already 7 months and we celebrated our 8th anniversary on the 20th Dec.

-How a small incident led to a changes in our lifestyle.

-How living apart is harder that I thought.

-How a power of mind can overshadow our body..headache, fever and the list will go on.

-How red my eye is right now..just like an apple

-How listening to Karen Carpenters is comforting...Close to you

In a flowing river

2011-12-09T10:11:00.007+08:00

I'm just like a small fish swimming gently in a river that flows smoothly with dry leaves on it surface. Its a big river with crystal clear water with stones covered the riverbed , it was shady at some part of the bank and at some area the sun seems to seep through the leaves and branches and it was a beautiful day, just as simple as that.

Just as I thought that sun will always shine and that the river will always flow smoothly, fate has it own way..the river is not that straight anymore as I swim along, never expected that downstream is this dangerous with boulders and roots.

By then, I was just a small fish struggling to swim or sink or just let the water brought me to the wide open sea with so many possibilities. I realized that being a small fish in that kind of water is not that easy.It was not my habitat...

Since this fish left her calm river, she's trying to be an adaptable animal to suits a new environment with different things all together. The fight for survival is higher...This salt water is hard to swallow for a such small fish.

Or maybe like in any non fiction story, small fish could turn into a piranha...

Tuesday Wish

2011-11-22T16:26:00.002+08:00

I just want to have freedom..to able to spend more time with my kids..to be able to wake up and do whatever I want without having to think of what match with my heels and handbag...and I wish for less protocol environment....

Viral fever

2011-11-17T15:46:00.004+08:00

It's been like a roller coaster ride, there are adrenaline rush and finally there's a big relief when it stop and ready to take other riders.

I'm still on leave taking care of my lil pumpkin who's down with viral fever, it was hard at the beginning especially at night when her temperature rised and she was crying and grumpy...

She's recovering despite difficulty taking any medicine.

..with wet towel which could only last for 30 minutes on her forehead...

Roller coaster ride

2011-11-16T08:31:00.002+08:00

I don't know how describe what my life is at the moment, three in Keah and the two of us are here in this house full of boxes, mess, hope and uncertainty.

We could only plan, but only He knows what is best..I did my solat istikharah..and I wake up with an open mind and will accept the fact that I'll be living near bendang with colours changing after few months from muddy grey to green and turned to golden precious colour...BUT it all changed the moment I went into that building.

The answer is..'NO'...*you'll be working here for one year*...it was like a slap on my stomach..(i rather burning my fat than ruin my make up )...

...sooooo....that means we go for plan D....see, I have so many plan..lets hope that this will work out and I have the strength to cope with this new life

New twist

2011-11-01T16:41:00.004+08:00

I'm officially part of other team but under the same department, I am anxious but not excited anymore of this promotion. I knew that there will be some twist and unexpected things, but never expect that it will be this way with long wait.

As for now, the waitng game is still on....

I still don't know where my new office would be, Big Boss said that I shoul be in Penang, but the other bos said that they don't need my post..but deep down inside I just want to be together with my family in Kedah...or somewhere near.

I'm still working on something at this office, leaving for Kinabatangan tomorrow and the next day going back to Kedah for other errand for Aidiladha and will come back to Putrajaya to finish up packing our stuff and moving things to Kedah, but there are still many arrangement that need to be done for the kids.

I just want to be with my lil pumpkin...

Rindu kat Tuhan...

2011-10-28T16:38:00.003+08:00

abah : Sufiya cakap dia rindu kat Tuhan, nak tidur dengan Tuhan..nak naik atas sana...

mama:....silent....kenapa dia cakap macam tu..?

I just wish for a good health and wherever we are, He'll be with us..Amin..

Pantai Cenang, Langkawi

2011-10-25T16:56:00.004+08:00

If anybody ask about my favourite place to relax and do nothing except for waiting for the sunset, strolling on white sand...that will always be Langkawi

White sandy beach..

Big Sis with her pink hat..we were there for only three days but managed to spend time just playing around, making sand castles, had seafood for two nights..and no shopping spree...:-)

More photos from D90 will be upload later...

Ladang Anggur Tasik Beris

2011-10-24T17:09:00.009+08:00

I love my job even though it s*#ks sometimes especially when dealing with people who speak the same national language but different understanding...but the best part of it is the 'sightseeing'..jalan-jalan makan angin..or maybe this time it was jalan-jalan makan anggur at Beris Lake Vineyard

It took only about 25 minutes from Pekan Sik to this place, there are facilities for fishing and chalet but under different managementNew bridge crossing the lake, there was no proper signage leading to this place. It was hot and I would only bring my kids when the weather is cloudy and we need big straw hat as well...

its a big place but only certain part of it are open for public

deoorative stone at main entrance

mosses on the pathway..beautiful green and brown combo

vineyard

Green and black...

No Company

2011-10-04T12:41:00.006+08:00

I never agree on idea of leaving kids with parents or inlaw. I prefer to take care and face their tantrum, clean the mess that they make and such. But now, it hit me..reality hit...we are separated by work..he is in Jitra, kids in Alor Setar and here I am, technically alone with no one to talk to, no one to scream...

Its terrible..but life goes on, other people managed to face this, so I've to be strong, its just a phase (I hope).

Our house is neat and clean now..I miss their mess and clutter...
They normally left their toys around this space, sometimes they eat and big bro spills his drinks..and bread crumbs became a pattern on that red carpet :-)

Miss my little pumpkin...

...and my heart and soul....

Monday Mood :Vintage Art and Tea

2011-10-03T15:45:00.004+08:00

I loves everything old, rustic, sentimental, romantic...be it furniture, building, photographs, my aunts colourful beads, mom's old kebaya and even buildings and cars. Sometimes its not about the value but simply because of the colour and idea that it reflect.

Vintage art found at English Tea House in Sandakan

Its gloomy here..and it will be nice if we have tea..just a simple plain tea..

..overlooking South China Sea

Tip Top Tuesday

2011-09-13T16:47:00.006+08:00

Alhamdulillah...

It's worth the waiting and the mess in my mind..

No wonder I suddenly feels like a white feather floating and landing slowly on a smooth surface..Only He knows what's best for us..

Syukran...(big sis is keen on learning Arabic, she keep on asking me and I only knows few words- learning from Ikim.fm while driving ..:-)

Monday Mood

2011-09-12T17:13:00.003+08:00

Hello Monday...we are counting days to many event and opportunities..and possibilities

I'm tired of thinking and planning for the next month but still things need to be done.

Don't have a good night sleep anymore..and end up sleepy at the office

I'm not scared of the unknown..I just wish for a better life, health, wealth and love

Went for check up with lil pumpkin at Klinik Kesihatan Putrajaya..she's 6.2kg now :-)

I have trouble moulding the elders..too naughty and outspoken..grrrr

Friday Flashback

2011-09-09T17:25:00.006+08:00

Still in Raya mood even though I spent the whole two weeks holiday not just preparing for raya but attending meeting at three places , last minute shopping and also driving around Alor Setar looking for a decent house for the next maybe five years..

Here are some photos from last week pre-post raya celebration....

We left for Penang on the 24th and made few stop at RnR to rest..and by the time we reached Juru tol, it was already 7.30am..I was behind the wheel from Sg Bakap to Tg Tokong, we rest for only two hours and headed to Sik for my work...it was raining and we were tired....but at least I could finished one task before the holiday

Here's our kitchen helper, preparing ingredients for nasi tomato for Iftar

nasi tomato in a big pot

Had to finished another task before raya in Gurun and Yan..Gurun has changed a little bit
View of Gunung Jerai ..rail track project is on going

Old photo of pekan Gurun..please ignore the reflection

Big sis with her sketch , she draw everyday..its the almost the subject but loves their drawing simply because they are not perfect.

Tesco Tanjung Pinang is just few meters away from MIL's house, so went there for some last minute shopping and let the kids have fun indoor
Cosy inside tesco trolley..put on a hairclip to tell people that my lil pumpkin is a girl..tired of answering people's question :-)

We treat the kids before raya..their cousin joined us ..games and ice cream

We were in Alor Setar on the firtst Syawal, but I missed going to the old madrasah for solat,..it is just a small madrasah but the thought of meeting so many familiar faces old and young that make it special....and the weather was nice..sunny compared to wet and gloomy few days before that...

Big Bro with his cousin in Jitra..cheeky..

Open house on second day in Alor Setar..office mate from Putrajaya with her family

And we made a tour in Penang ...

We went to Gurney Plaza before visiting relatives house and lil pumpkin need a rest and it was feeding time for her.

It was a tiring two weeks holiday because we were driving back and forth..andon the 4th of Sept, we were back in Alor Setar for hubby's work..and back in Putrajaya on the 6th...

I just wish that this Syawal will bring another good news...Insyaallah

Pre Holiday

2011-08-24T17:13:00.003+08:00

I woke up this morning and forgot about yesterday's news..I'll just take it easy for now and try to concentrate on other sweet things in life, not trying to run away from the issue but will tackle it slowly.

For now its raya mood...sooooo...lets see our checklist...

it looks like just few more things left..the rest are already packed and ready, no matter how BIG or spacious the car is, it always fully loaded :-)..and this time around we not only pack for raya but always post raya :-)

Big sis is already in raya mood..she draw this last night with scolouring set from Kakak Parvin..thank you so much

I went for last minute shopping and a treat for myself for being..being me I guess..:-)..hahaha what a reason...simply heart this whole idea of flowers and such

estee lauder sensuous nude..nice smell..and the package is flexible so I choosed that bottle..

Since I'm on traveling day, I just spent the time alone packing their bags....

Will be leaving for Penang tonight...but its not holiday yet..will be in Sik,Gurun and Yan for work...then only we could celebrate..

Tuesday Tangle

2011-08-23T17:29:00.003+08:00

This is how it feels right now after I got the news...

I thought that its going to smooth, but that's okay, don't want to mess up my mind too much at this moment. Others have experienced it before and many times. And this is my first time...so relax and take a deep breath and enjoy this raya season first..

Anyway back on raya mood..big sis is asking for ketupat empat segi gantung...so need to inform mak tok on this special request with rendang..

Sweet Sunday (artwork)

2011-08-22T11:21:00.004+08:00

I promised them to do some painting but had to cancel the plan due to housework and the laundry..plus lil pumpkin has started seeking for attention, she will cry when no one nearby of see her..

Even with no watercolour and brush, I let them do whatever they want as long as they are happy.Big Sis with her sketch..she wants me to count all the clouds and figures..notice that pearl bracelet..? she asked me the price..'berapa ribu..?"..main ribu-ribu ringgit jee sekarang :-)

And this is Big Bro's sketches..he's not feeling well since last night
He's better with poster colour and brush I guess..but still need to let him sketch to stimulate his fine motor skill.

And as for me..I have a plan (as always, but hope it will turn out as planned :)..will continue with art as well..soon

Saturday update

2011-08-21T17:33:00.003+08:00

We don't have much time lately to spent the time like before, so yesterday we went to Alamanda to trim big sister's hair while abah went o find adidas shoes for big brother.

Lil pumpkin in her stroller..settled her part last week, but I'm still looking for vintage inspired dress for her

before the haircut

just one inch ....

and tadaaa...konon lil princess..she slept with that pearl bracelet last night

Childhood Memories

2011-08-03T15:31:00.004+08:00

I miss waking up every morning and smell the fresh air and watch water droplets on daun pisang, it was s surreal moment

The soil was wet from last night downpour, and the bushes seem greener than the day before.

I miss laying down on Mak's timber house and put my feet on the window in between the steel rail and watch the sky making a formation and later interpreted it as I like.

I miss sitting on a concrete staircase at an old house not far from Mak's house. It was a big house with Malacca style staircase.

And I also miss a nice pulut sambal ...

Black or White

2011-07-27T08:11:00.005+08:00

But, If
You're Thinkin' About My Baby
It Doesn't Matter If You're Black Or White

I Said If
You're Thinkin' Of
Being My Baby
It Doesn't Matter If You're Black Or White

(MJ Song..)

Kids could say or ask anything that come across their mind, they would say it bluntly. Sometimes whatever they says are cute..just like the 90's show kids say the darndest thing...but sometimes what they say could make us pause and think or even cry....

I know that one fine day she will ask this kind of questions base from her own perspective and surrounding, she did asked why Burberry campaign ad female model is black..? She's not satisfied with the question and she simply said that most girls are fair...'black tak cantik..'...
She even snobbishly said to our friend's son..'brown tak cantik' ..and just walked away ..dushh dushh to me...like a big slap on my face !!..that poor guy just want to say goodbye to her and she refused with a style..

And last night, it broke my heart when she asked about her brother..'mama, kenapa hadif black..?'...

........

I told her that it was a gift from Him and that black is 'handsome' just like her abah, cacu, bhod abah,...and just hug him tightly..

I'm sure one day he'll be a dark, tall and handsome man...

Monumen Alaf Baru Putrajaya

2011-07-25T17:11:00.006+08:00

Old cities are interesting and romantic because of the pattern of the streets, the facade treatment, small back alleys and multiple character. Putrajaya is less romantic because it did not develop slowly but it has been planned to be as what it is today...but still this is one of the comfort place to be...

Architecture is a testament of civilization, culture and time...and to appreciate the civilization, people built a landmark..a great building or tower or a monument.

Sunday was outing for this little girl...

And for her as well..we promise to bring them to have a splash at P16 swimming pool, but had to cancelled the plan due to unfinished house chores..

View towards Masjid Sultan Mizan aka masjid besi due to its design component.

This monument is located by Putrajaya lake adjacent to pasar tani..and every second week, on Saturday there are water activities like paddle boat as well as marketplace with stuff like handmade items and original paintings...

Journey to the tower..long and winding path..a symbolic path with stories of the nation development displayed on the glass panel

The sky is beautiful when the sun slowly setting down but unfortunately we did not bring a camera..:-)

Even though it did not have a charm like old cities could offer..it is still worth it for a family outing.

Messy Hair and Mind

2011-07-21T12:26:00.006+08:00

My grandma always says that if our hair is messy that means our mind is in the same condition..semak perut katanya...

Mess in the house - physically it is build up, they have started their usual activities of throwing toys around, tearing papers (teacher at Smart Reader told me its fine if a kid tear a paper..good for their motor skill..but...)

And then there are other things that suddenly appeared and few will come that need a thorough evaluation and thought before making a BIG decision..a decision that will change many things...still confused of the option ..the paper is on the table now, black pen is on my side ....I have put on weightage on each section and evaluated them just like choosing a contractor for any project..but still could not derive any solution...I think this is how Howard Roark feels in Fountain Head...

When our mind is confused it reflects on our physical..until Hadif call me 'Kak Limah'...amboooiiii suka hati, mentang-mentang tengok citer Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah kat nursery... :-P

I'm very sure that I don't look like this...haiiyooo ....

Still crawling

2011-07-20T08:57:00.007+08:00

I'm still crawling...but by next week I will start brisk walkin..:-))

I have been working for two days now but still in a different mode, there few things that still need to be organized daily. Luckily at work we are not that busy compared to last year, so I have extra time to provide EBM and visit my little baby during lunch time.

Unfortunately for the elders who have to wake up earlier than before, that means they have to sit down for dinner earlier and sleep early than usual, no more Disney Junior till late night.

The little one did not have a problem every morning, she'll wake up at around six something and just sucks her mitten...that means she need to be fed..she did not cry and just wait and smile whenever we passed.

When we are young, our life is easy and free..and then there's marriage that change a little bit with few adjustment to life with a partner..and then we are three, four and counting..AND that means a lot more changes and adjustment that need to be done.

With not so original Hermes bag we add one more bag as accessories daily, a bag with new equipment, bottles, ice packs and such. I just bought a new set yesterday at Susuibu.com Bangi..its MamiVac..I just found out that Moms Little Ones and SusuIbu.com has merged. I've been BF since Hadif was born and managed to BF him exclusive for six month, that means no formula just totally BF and Alhamdulillah I survived until 2 years before I pregnant for the thrid time. We save a lot during the first year because no more rushing to Carrefour to buy formula milk...BF is not about saving money but the most important is whats best for the baby.

For the last one week, we did not plan too many things, I used to planned a lot..sometimes it work but sometimes it turn out the other way..There are many things coming our way and more too come in drastic way..we are expecting the worst case...so for now we just plan for daily basis...hope the news will gives us new adventure and hope that we were given guidance and protection where ever we are..

Walking slowly...

2011-07-17T12:20:00.007+08:00

Its been six days we are in Putrajaya..at first glance..the kitchen floor was 'superb' with thick dust and whatever I could imagine, there are signs of emptiness and 'kebujangan' for the last two and a half months.

Before we left for Putrajaya, we stopped by at Phoenix Trading at Church Street in Penang to get some stuff for the kids. Big sister was so excited with her new flash card since.

I have the time to prepare this just because I abandoned house chores...:-)) .. people always says that better let the expert do their job...sooo..

We hired part time cleaning service for RM160 for three visit to do the cleaning especially for heavy task, unfortunately after two days of shining floor tiles, Hadif mess it again as usual..and Big sister will said its okay if there make a mess, we can always call the cleaning people again..they think that money grows like 'pokok duit-duit' kott...hmmm kids nowadays..

As for the baby, I could say that she don't give much trouble so far, the problem is the sister and brother who treat her like a doll, pulling her leg, stuffing their fingers inside her mouth..and I hope that they won't do something extreme.

She'll be going to 'school' tomorrow at precinct 9, that means a big tour everyday all the way from our house. I haven't pack her bag yet, or labelled her stuff..and the worst part is I haven't prepared her EBM...its the production issue here..hopefully everything will be on pace and as planned.

Tomorrow will be my first day as well after three months holiday..if only they approved six months maternity leave..wishful thinking..

New Episode

2011-07-07T17:39:00.003+08:00

Its been almost two months since I last update or mumbling in this space. Some might said that maternity leave is a period of rejuvenating and such,it might be true only for the first month. By the second month I was already behind the wheel and few trip to Tesco.

If they allow six month maternity leave, I will be the first one to fill up the form, but by the third month I hope to work from home..ala SOHO...

Before 40 days or 44 days of traditional period of pantang, I already flipping thru SPM past year question on Engineering subject, just to warm up the little machine inside my head.

People said 'orang bersalin ada urat putus'...so in order to connect the urats and whatever I need something to stimulate my brain..no DHA or AHA will do wonders

I'll be leavng for Putrajaya soon..and there'lll more more challenges waiting for us..and for now, its the headache of finding a nursery for the little baby since the place that we booked has transfered babies to another precinct which is far from our place...

That is for a start I guess....