Bitch, Please!

Cellink?

2011-03-31T00:22:00.002-04:00

Anyone knows what ever happened to GTT's Cellink? I guess it died a natural death.

Guyana - The New Gaza Strip

2011-01-05T21:51:00.004-04:00

OMG, it's the Taliban ... no wait, it's Osama himself! ... no no no! It's a dumb fucker smoking a fucking cigarette next to a gas cylinder that caused the explosion at the Stabroek area. At least that's one story. Other stories include a dumbass having a grenade in his pocket and making the pin fall out; whilst another said that it was the grenade from the pocket of the dumbass that blew up and caused the gas cylinder to go KABOOM too. In any case, someone or something caused an explosive fart that killed one and injured many.

I wonder if we're going to see Uncle Sam rolling in with the tanks and choppers anytime soon? I hope not!

What never ceases to amaze me though, is the lack of information available and the misinformation that seems to abound when things like this happen. Even up to minutes after 3 in the afternoon (bearing in mind the incident occurred at around 10 in the morning) there was no conclusive news as to what really happened. Why is it that we always have to wait until days later to find out what REALLY went on?

Oh Gawd, Charmaine is at it again

2011-01-04T23:00:00.004-04:00

Charmaine girl, you've got a lot of spirit. Not to mention you look like one, but that's a whole other kettle of fish. It is with much bewilderment, shock and dismay that I discovered this tonight:

Yes my friends, King of Drums PRODUCED by Charmaine Blackman and her hussie, Bonny Alves. Leave it to fucking Charmaine Blackman to create this piece of shit or should I say Guyanese Moods.

Charmaine writes:
" You see we are not ready yet for commercial distribution of the movie ... We are trying to recoop costs by having a series of public viewings before we launch into DVD production".

Public viewings?? Really? I'll be looking out for this. That way I'll know all the tone-deaf people in this country.

Thankfully, I have not nor do I intend to see this.

Who knows ... maybe she'll move entirely to 'producing' and save us the anguish of having to hear her sing, and I use that word very loosely.

Yep, we're back!

2010-03-22T23:30:00.002-04:00

Wow, it's almost been a year since we last made an entry on the blog. To offer an excuse as to why we stopped blogging ... well, this I cannot do. But I just wanted to add this note to let you all know that we intend to start writing again. Not sure about the frequency, but we intend to keep you entertained and informed as usual. Thanks for all the support thus far.

More licks for GTT...

2009-04-30T07:53:00.003-04:00

GTT continues to see its revenue decline.

Bypass and Economic Conditions my ass, blame DIGICEL. Gregory Dean etal must be have a ball over there at high street...that is, if those workaholics can stop long enough to savor a moment.

I wonder now if they're going to scale back on this dollar-a-minute, we hope not, we've gotten addicted to the cheapness...what?? Not like you haven't also!

Charmaine Blackman -- Go bag you frigging face!

2009-04-27T22:24:00.001-04:00

It's fucking amazing to think that there are people in this country who actually back, promote and offer praise to Charmaine and her 'so-called' music. Like Cultured Wretch, I've had the unfortunate displeasure of hearing Charmaine butcher not just one song, but two. She attacked Leona Lewis yet again - screaming 'Bleeding Love', and Beyonce - belching up her version of 'Naughty Girl'. Oh my GAWD, Charmaine you definitely deserve an award - A get-the-fuck-off-the-stage-and-go-crack-your-skull-because-you-are-so-fucking-horrible award. Yes darling, you deserve it.

Your voice is not only shrill, annoying and bash-my-head-in horrible, but you are a horrible site to look at. Left Side & Esco sang it right -- TUCK IN YOUR FUCKING BELLY.

How and why she actually continues to be a Guyanese musician is far beyond me. This proves -- miracles do and can come through.

KFC - a real shit hole

2009-04-27T19:40:00.002-04:00

Okay, I've had my say about KFC, but this must be said and reiterated -- KFC should get the fuck out of this country or at least be headed under new management with a major revamp and overhaul.

The fuckers are now doing the unthinkable. Apart from serving customers in Styrofoam boxes and unmarked paper bags, they are now charging $10 per packet of ketchup if you ask for extra. Who the fuck are these people?!? How more ridiculous can they become?

KFC, take you greasy-ass fucking chicken and gets to steppin'.

Charmaine Blackman needs to be stopped!!

2009-04-26T05:31:00.000-04:00

Have you ever seen a butcher at work? How about hearing one? Well let me tell you, two days ago I had the most unfortunate experience of hearing Charmaine Blackman as she butchered Leona Lewis’s “Better in Time”.

What the fuck is wrong with this woman? She should be working at JAPS or at the abattoir or maybe she might even be too brutal for them. Someone clearly needs to stop this freak of nature, why the hell she can’t choke on her freaking tongue or something is beyond me. I tell you, the Gods too are fond of a joke.

This attempt was tasteless, ridiculous and should be held in utmost contempt and condescension. What this woman did to this song is a travesty unlike any other and I am saying this in all seriousness, SHE REALLY NEEDS TO STOP!!! Lord knows if I could have, I would have jailed her for disturbing the peace or even Human Rights Abuses because she clearly abuses mine and other people’s ears with this nonsense that comes out of her mouth. It would appear as though she is completely unspoiled by failure, and personally I wish she was one load her mother had swallowed. Now I have never killed anyone but I have read a great many Obituaries with pleasure and I must confess, hers is one I would love to read. Anybody has some Jim Jones Kool-Aid available? Hers is a life that would be greatly improved by death…sad but true!

What's up with Digi?

2009-04-26T00:41:00.000-04:00

Speaking of Digicel, why the heck is Sherry Ann so red in these recent ads, tip to the graphic artist, a little less saturation please. I tell ya, these guys at Digicel and Tagman are getting really sloppy and boring. Remember Barrack Obama, what was this theme? Change? Definitely in need here for the red network.

GTT is being Naughty, Naughty....

2009-04-25T20:26:00.000-04:00

Recently it seems as though at a certain time of the night, usually between 7-9, it becomes nearly impossible to place a call to Digicel if you’re using a GTT phone. Try it and more than likely you’ll be greeted with “Calls to this network cannot be completed, please contact the commercial office for further information” or something like that. Call into GTT customer’s service and you’ll be informed that it’s the other network that has the problem, and you will be further fed with all the bad qualities of Digicel. GTT’s CSR’s should respect the customer’s choice. If people want to have Digicel that is their choice, we live in a mostly free country and we are afforded the power of choice.

GTT is clearly sabotaging Digicel in this regard by blocking calls to their network, they need to stop this practice, it is stooping way below the belt and it’s definitely not playing on a level field for fair competition.

The ascent and descent of Digicel's commercials

2009-04-12T15:50:00.001-04:00

How did Digicel get here is beyond me. They recently had this great ad running on television, the one with Sherry Ann Dyal and Henry Rodney. That was a super nice one, the music was catchy, the coloring excellent, apart from casting Rodney in the video, it was flawless. Why they’re no longer showing it is beyond me. However they’ve replaced that one with a comical, utterly ridiculous and pure nonsense of an ad featuring three jackasses in the form women parading their ‘Pre-paid bundle plan”.

Just when you get tired of freaking Radika all over the fucking place and you think nothing can be more annoying to the ear (except Charmaine Blackman and DJ Stress of course) here comes Digicel to spoil the moment by unleashing this on the Guyanese people. This wasn’t just mildly annoying and obnoxious like so many other people – this was obnoxious and stupid in a different and worse way and I can’t help but think that the people who came up with this idea, just talked for the sake for talking…a classic case of Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Instead of appealing for a license for international services, Digicel should be appealing for some creative people over there, their marketing team is beginning to get it wrong and it’s time for some fresh ideas in your ad’s. Your graphic artists (not just the local ones) are becoming stale and there is nothing creative about the print ad’s being produced either. Has the brain drain spread to you guys as well that you have artists without proper mental and creative faculties that they can’t make diverse ads? They’re suddenly appearing to be as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass…yea, it’s that freaking bad.

Do us all a huge fucking favor and get those pre-paid asses off the blasted television and radio!!!

So Priya, did you drink yeast??

2009-04-09T00:43:00.002-04:00

Ok, who's seen Priya lately? If you have then you know what i'm talking about. She must be following in Romel Roopnarine's footsteps. However, I don't think they're getting plump for the same reasons. No no no, Priya recently got married, and I'm guessing the saying it's true what they say - sex gets you fat. Well Priya, you must be getting alotta wata for you to be bloating up like that. Good for you though, honey, show those political men that it's not only they who can collect that wata.

Sheer man and woman story goin' on.

2009-04-08T12:14:00.000-04:00

Browsing through the Kaieteur News today I found these articles:
http://www.kaieteurnews.com/2009/04/08/one-armed-man-goes-berserk/
http://www.kaieteurnews.com/2009/04/08/woman-douses-younger-lover-with-hot-oil/
http://www.kaieteurnews.com/2009/04/08/man-stabs-friend-61-over-romantic-attachment-to-wife/
http://www.kaieteurnews.com/2009/04/08/incest-accused-remanded/
http://www.kaieteurnews.com/2009/04/08/man-attempts-suicide-over-unfaithful-wife/

I know Guyana was bad, but all this info in one day, FUCK ... GUYANA IS THE BEST!!!

How the hell does this make sense?

2009-04-03T11:14:00.004-04:00

In light of recent happenings surrounding that lil boy and gay man story, Kaieteur news went and found a lawyer who is of the opinion that the age of consent law does not apply to boys as well.
If that is indeed the case, then like many others this is another foolish law. I cannot even begin to imagine the rationale for this glaring discrepancy. It just doesn't make any sense.

Alright by now some people know my opinion on that whole matter with the 15 year old but my thoughts on this matter, the age of consent law, goes further than this one matter. Are lil boys not allowed the same protection accorded by law as girls? A boy should have the same legal protection as his female counterpart, no if's, but's or maybe's about that. It's that simple!!

Can someone please provide a logical explanation for this because over here we just see it as a bundle of crap. What about that whole equality thing, no discrimination. Shouldn't this be considered a form of discrimination as well? Just at a loss of words to describe this. Help us to understand would you.

Is that a plum ... no wait, it's Romel Roopnarine

2009-04-03T00:18:00.002-04:00

So, who's been watching News Update on Channel 65? If you have, then you'll notice what I'm talking about. No folks, I'm not talking about the illiterate reporters and bad news casting. If any of you would have tuned in tonight, you would've seen a plum ... err, I mean Romel Roopnarine. It appeared as if the poor chap was bursting as the seams - particularly, in his face. So Romel, do you have the mumps or is Channel 65 paying you that well to fatten you up? I doubt the latter of that statement is true though.

GWI wants to increase their tariffs because of inflation.

2009-04-02T13:15:00.005-04:00

Was just out having lunch which thankfully I can afford and which unfortunately costs more than that petty amount coming from the government for single parents when I finally had a chance to read today's Kaieteur News and almost immediately.

So the management of GWI is going to petition the PUC for an increase in rates in water to reflect inflation. This sounds as if GWI is becoming another GPL. There is no excuse for bad management and there is a lot of that at both of these utility companies but instead of trying to fix that, they automatically try to stick the consumer with heavier bills. It is unconscionable.

Instead of upping the cost for those already paying for this service, how about this very simple idea, charge those people who aren't paying for any water, accordingly charge those folks who have residential service but are operating car washes from it, or those who are disconnected but yet still receiving water through illegal means.

It is nonsense that with all these avenues available GWI is looking to kill the very few that fulfill their obligations and pay their bills. Pretty soon, it will become just like GPL where I will have to be paying for those who aren't. It is fucking sickening, unfair and nothing more than a big load of crap.

And speaking of inflation, what about the people who are supposed to be paying this. They are not being shown any consideration. It would appear as if inflation does not affect them, because every fucking price is supposed to increase and be justified as inflation yet people's salaries aren't going anywhere. Just how the fuck are people expected to pay for certain things? Are they supposed to go and thief it or sell themselves to get it? and that too for water which isn't good enough to drink or cook with. That is beyond nonsense, apparently Karan Singh wasn't the only mad man over there.

For now, all GWI has petitioned the PUC for this increase, I sincerely hope that this request is denied by the folks over there. Let GWI get their fucking house in order before they come knocking on my blasted door for more money!

Somoene finally woke up Roheee

2009-04-02T11:27:00.002-04:00

Oh Gee Mr. Rohee, ya think??? Where the heck have you been all this time?? Anyway, I'm glad you've finally caught on though!!

Janet is gone...farewell.

2009-04-01T02:18:00.003-04:00

Janet Jagan has died and gone, we bid her farewell and for all that she did, history will always remember her.

The service for her was quite simple yet emotional. It was good to see members of the PNCR there, and it was nice when Corbin gave recognition to her presidency, something that many PNCR supporters did not do. I really do think that she was treated most unfairly when she was duly elected President in 1997, so in a small way, it was good to hear the leader of the party responsible for that abuse acknowledge her, her presidency and the good work she did for this land.

It was very touching though when Rohee gave the eulogy, it was filled with emotion and for those of you who like to think that he is cold and heartless, it was touching to hear him choked up with tears as he spoke.
So Long Janet...

Karan Singh: Going....Going....GONE!!!

2009-03-31T19:59:00.001-04:00

I don't delight in saying this but Karan Singh had to go. That man was totally unfit to head GWI, or anywhere else for that matter. Good riddance!!

What goes around comes around Karan, you wanted to be like God over there and unlike the auditor that you accuse, you were more the maniacal one going around threatening and terrorizing people at that entity.

Those guys at the donor agencies must be finally happy. The only now is that we replace this piece of waste with a competent, qualified individual to manage this entity and not another washed up party supporter. Another opportunity is here for Guyana to be put first, let us hope that it is not another opportunity squandered.

To be honest, I don't care what you did, I'm just glad that the board finally found the balls to kick you out.

Lil boy and gay man...

2009-03-31T07:31:00.000-04:00

Now a few of you might have read a story appearing in Kaietuer News over the weekend about a 'missing' teenager who was found in Victoria, at the home of a gay man and his niece or some madness like that.
The police subsequently arrested the two adults but then released a statement saying that the kid wasn't being held against his will, that he was free to go and that the engaged in sexual activities with the man willingly, and finally buggery charges are likely to be laid soon.

People around the place have been calling and harping about this issue for a few days now, and honestly if not for Janet's death, this story along with Karan being fired would have been the talk of the town. I just want to say this.

The age of consent is 16, so legally the kid cannot give what is not his to have, although he might want to argue that it is his body after all. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that the lil frigger went to the man home off his own, he fucked with the man off his own, he stayed there off his fucking own and he chose not to return to his home, off his own.

The people who want to talk about this, should understand that part and not look to crucify the blasted antiman. Yes, it was wrong for him to have sex with an underage kid, no question about that, but at the same fucking time, people need to stop behaving as if this lil frigger is some angel because he clearly isn't. He had run off to Surinam also and I'm sure he would have needed permission for that as well.

And now, unfortunately buggery is still a crime so they are going to face music for that, however, abduction charges? gimme a fucking break. The kid was going and coming as he pleased, that isn't abduction, he obviously wanted to go back. Whatever he was getting there was good enough to keep him coming back. Now then, probably the only charge that should be instituted was that of statutory rape, because at the end of the day, he still is just 15!

What people need to realize is that these teenagers aren't so innocent as we would like tothink, many of them are quite capable of making their own decisions and they do, even though sometimes they are not aware of all the consequences of their actions. However as adults we also have a responsibility to these kids. What the man did with this kid was wrong, even if the kid wanted it, it was wrong. My argument though will be and this is my belief, that the man alone should not be cast as the villan in this story...he isn't!

The biggest joke of the year

2009-03-30T01:07:00.003-04:00

I know, in a time of mourning, we're not supposed to be laughing but seriously, how the heck can a person not laugh at that ridiculous amount of money given to single parents to assist with day care expenses.

What a joke, what a big fucking joke. This particular minister I'm sure pays much more than this daily for lunch. $1000 monthly for single parents means nothing, it is worth nothing.This is beyond insulting and embarrassing from the Jagdeo regime.

It shows just how detached the ruling class is from the working class that they actually think that this pittance is anywhere near something meaningful.
And it gets better too, the parent must have two kids in day care and be working for less than #30, 0o0 monthly. Now isn't that just the biggest bundle of nonsense you've heard in a while?

Day care costs $4000 per kid (according to the Government's calculation),that's $8000 just gone there...whoosh! 22 grand left and there is still NIS, VAT, RENT, GPL to be paid also, not to mention food...whoppi, that thousand sure does help a lot.

This government is so thoughtful, sympathetic and caring eh? Thank you Good Lord, I don't depend on the state for any financial assistance or I really would be in a bad state.

Farewell to Fmr President, Janet Jagan.

2009-03-30T00:39:00.003-04:00

Now the last time I wrote about good ole Janet, I seemed to imply that the end was near for the Grand dame of Guyanese politics. I must let it be known, that unlike some people with monies invested in CLICO, I was not in possession of inside information.

On a serious note now. There will be a lot of ramblings going on about Janet in all corners of the country for the new few days but regardless of one ideologies, that should not distract from the fact that Mrs Jagan was a monumental figure, who has cemented her place in Guyanese History. It is up for scholars to debate whether her mark was a positive one or not. She has left much behind to make that assessment an easy one.

Her family and her party has big void at the moment, one that will never be filled but Guyana will also be left with an even bigger void. Mrs. Jagan died taking with her too many secrets about this land of ours. That should not have been, she owed it to the Guyanese people to provide a truthful account of history as she lived it. One thing is certain however, Mrs. Jagan for all that she was and what she wasn't would never have approved of the direction that the PPP has taken, and it is well known that she was personally in opposition to some policies coming out of the OP.

Anyways, now ain't the time for this, let us join most of the country in mourning our former President. Sincerest of condolence are offered to her family and her party, it is indeed a terrible loss. May Her Soul Rest In Peace.

Janet, aka Slipper Granny, Passes Away

2009-03-28T16:02:00.002-04:00

Former President of Guyana, Mrs Janet Jagan, has passed away. May her soul rest in peace. She and Cheddi are probably looking down on Guyana and talking about how Bharrat has messed us up.

It's weird though ... Bitch Please! posted THIS article a month ago. It's as if the event in thought was casting its shadow. Hmm, I wonder ...

Am sure Janet's memory won't soon be forgotten ... NCN would never allow that.

New Thriving Main St. Launches

2009-03-28T15:22:00.003-04:00

So last night was the grand opening for the New Thriving Chinese Restaurant. A so-called red carpet affair that supposedly had invitees such as government officials, business execs. and who's-whos of the Guyanese community.
I must say that the Chinese went all out with this affair. From piled-high buffet tables of food and an open bar with all the booze you can drink to Chinese usher girls brandishing warm and inviting smiles, the evening was rather nice. I was lucky to be invited by a friend who was told to bring a friend.
Highlights of the night -
- All-you-can-eat Chinese buffet menu
- All-you-can-drink booze and drinks
- The cultural shows (including tassa drumming, steel pan, chinese lion dance and a few others)

Lowlights of the night -
- The slippery tiles on the balcony (Fuck, the Chinese can be so friggin cheap at times. The least they could've done is get some non-skid tiles.) People were falling left right and centre.
- Horribly dressed people wearing everything from their mother's bra to some old horse hair they dug up outta their 'grip'
- And of course - ugly, need-to-get-to-a-dentist, old chinese men wearing the cheapest of clothing and stooping in some corner smoking a Bristol

Apart from this, the evening went well. People should at least visit this place once, if not for the food, then just to check out the place. It's a really wonderful building.

Kaieteur News is asking a question...

2009-03-26T08:33:00.001-04:00

So this is a fairly simple question that Kaieteur News is asking however the answer is even simpler.

NO ONE!!!

We are never going to get anywhere, if these situations are allowed to continue. The driver of this vehicle that caused this light to damage should face the consequences. Pay for it or go to jail, simple as that. For too long, too many persons have gotten away with this and others but now the authorities need to put a stop to this nonsense.

At the end of the day, this is public property and if damaged, the state must be compensated for such. Can you imagine destroying something for the American Government and trying to get away with it? No, No it doesn't happen there...it shouldn't happen here either.