Through The Struggle

her

2014-04-23T09:12:00.001-07:00

I
saw her again
She was less angelic than I remember
Her
She was human
Flawed
Like me
Reminded me of what used to be
But not of what usually
Her eyes haven't changed a bit
They hold me within
I'm forever trapped and I'm okay
I don't want, I don't need
Rescue
Her hands are different
She doesn't hold
She lets go
I wonder why I never did
Then I remember
Her
She talks the same
She thinks the same
She's so different
She's a foreign country I've seen in photographs
She's that one song I know all the lyrics to but not the name of
She's forever trapped in my head, and it's okay
I've learned to make room, I
Saved her a spot
She doesn't believe in love or in people
Or in people in love
Or in loving people
Or that out of all of the people in love that are out there loving people, that someone loves her
She's not always right
She's flawed
Human
Like me

Old Feelings

2013-10-23T05:24:00.007-07:00

~~I need to escape.~~

~~Writing to my lonely self on this lonely page.~~

~~My life's a monologue on this empty stage.~~

~~Thought I'd found love, but I found hate.~~

~~Hate you, almost as much as I hate myself.~~

nonsensicalogistics

2013-10-23T05:09:00.003-07:00

dreams held in an envelope

so volatile
and dangerous

                                faces
that a man kills for
                                faces
that kill men
                                faces

and all for what?

                               dreams

so...

How could I forget?

2013-10-23T05:05:00.003-07:00

i remember you now...

as the stranger does the poet

in the musky dim den

spilling ink on parchment

and other skins

your hand feverishly holding
quill

the terrene scent of tobacco permeates the air

a masterpiece

a second hand
coffee table book

i remember you now...

dog eared and frayed at the sides

a good companion in solitude, if there ever was one

I remember you now.

I wish I didn't.

Reflections

2013-10-04T10:26:00.002-07:00

I've heard enough noise in my life
I'd rather sit in silence.
Take my time like leaves falling in November.
Everything has the same beginning.
But not the same ending.

breathe

2012-07-24T14:44:00.001-07:00

Stress is a precursor
to disease
flowing
through our bodies

like poltergeists in crowded streets.

So I say call the priest,
and exorcise my body,

leave it mangled and crippled

if need be,

as long as mind is allowed to love,
and heart remains the same.

cautiousbutnotso

2012-03-11T00:57:00.003-08:00

old tattered hole riddled wings
need but a stitch
a push
shove
in the right direction

but don't prick your finger!

im seeing new things in
an old way
and
i feel like
home is
where the heart is

and my heart
is
with
you.

dont forget
to
lock the
door.

its not safe out there.

Just ranting about KONY, slavery and life.

2012-03-08T07:51:00.003-08:00

Well, personally. What I appreciate about this whole Kony thing.. is people coming together and actually feeling enough emotion to feel like they have to do something. What we have to do, as a people.. is not forget this. Not forget, what it is to feel. Not forget, what it is to care for your fellow human. Not forget, what it is to love unconditionally. Love your life, as much as that of your fellow man. Everyone's life is worthwhile. Everyone deserves to live the life they want to live. We need to take a stand as a people, and start living life as a people. It has gone on for far too long is this country and many others, where competition is the main drive. People strive to have the nicer car, or bigger house. All of these ideals and morals implanted into their heads through being conditioned by school... but think about it... Who do you benefit by having a nicer car or a bigger house? Who do you benefit by working harder and slaving away just to get that bigger house? Of course you benefit yourself.. thats a given. But do you really need such opulence? Especially when there are people on this earth that have but a bite to eat. No.. such opulence is not necessary. Such waste is not necessary. Such splurging on material things is not necessary. You are benefiting the 1%.. you are benefiting those who want you to put in all that extra overtime, just so you make more money, so they can take our more taxes. "Oh but look at the amount of money, versus the taxes I make... that is nothing." Multiply that by millions upon millions. We. Are. Being. Farmed. What must we do? We must love unconditionally. Love our neighbors as much as our earth. We keep stealing bits and pieces of our beautiful planet. One can only take so much, until the holes and blemishes become apparent. We must start to repair all of the damage done. We must start to all enforce the movement and progression of our race, the human race. We all have to acknowledge the necessary shift in consciousness and accept that a change must be made. Also, you can never forget... that anything is possible. The only thing stopping you from doing something, is merely the act of actually doing it. Where there is a will, there is a way. If there isn't a way to do something, a way will be made. If there isn't a way to make it, then a way to figure out how to make it will come about.

TL;DR: Open your eyes.

epiphany

2012-03-05T15:10:00.003-08:00

And,,

Just like.

That.

It was,,

Night

again..

Dead in heaven, or alive in hell?

2012-03-05T15:09:00.001-08:00

a reminder to some;
poetry
is not about
eloquence.
its about
the
presence
of
essence.
then again,
what do
i
know?

if eloquence

were

a wall;

it would be

6 feet tall

and I

6 feet deep.

Now if only

there

were one more

6, to rouse up

all the

christian kids.

Id come back from

the grave and

spray paint

"FUCK YOUR gOD"

on that wall

and

then, probably

have to run

from the law.

Recede right

back

to that ol'

familiar crawl.

(you know it all too well)

And join the rest

of you:

fucking fleas,

blood sucking tics,

parasites.

Disease.

ShearedSheep.

Brainwashed with ease.

(you all know it too well

ZzZzz

2012-03-05T15:07:00.002-08:00

I lay here.
Where we both have before.
I miss your presence,
your essence and scent,
And the way you present,
Yourself when coming in my door.

Honestly, I've always thought about life,
as being such a bore.

"Oh what a fucking chore, to get up and live some more..."

But now,
I'm able to get up,wakeup.
And, smile...

Because I have you?

Feelings like this are some sort of a lore.
Aren't they?
At least thats what we've been told.

Guess? I have been wrong?

All of this along.
All of this alone.

Never-more, Forever-more.

I lay here.
Where we both have before.

Waiting for
You.

But,
I'm falling
asleep..

wakeup.

lips, hips, and spilled drinks

2012-03-05T15:02:00.000-08:00

Kindred spirits,

Lovedrunklove

Sip sip sip.

Until you're empty.

Consequently;

I'm at the brim...

Looks like,

Its your turn to sin.

cliches

2012-03-05T14:55:00.000-08:00

My heart always springs
And s k i p s, , ,,,
rocks and beats,
When our hands meet.
I consistently
tend to find
my head,
Somewhere over
my cleats.
I'm running
after
you.

I cannot-willnot
be discrete,
It would be,
utterly obsolete!

But sometimes...
telling
you
Is such a feat...

So,

I write to express,
How much you mean to me.

I write to confess:
That:
I never want to be without you.

I write all this,
but not for you to read.

Because they say;

actions speak,
Louder than words.

So,

I'll simply loan
you a kiss,
And leave the interpretation
of my
obvious intentions,
to your
lips.

wait for it... wait for it...

2012-02-29T16:27:00.000-08:00

Always waiting for something.

It's always something.

Be it:

the bus, the cab, or the train.
a love, partner, or relationship.
material or not.

Always waiting.

For a:

chance, opportunity,
moment.

What the fuck is the point?

Make things happen.

Walk into the middle of the street.

Stop that yellowyellow Cabus.

Rip open,

the door.

Tell her you love her.

Tell her how she

x is the o

x only o

x one o

for

you.

And, that she could:

be your, life partner,

in a life long,

relationship.

You know.

The Usual.

Bullshit.

Take that chance.

Make that opportunity yours, and turn it into a moment you won't ever forget. Much like that one day...

Your first day of High school.

Running after the bus.

You'll never forget.

It sure didn't wait for you.
So,

why wait for it?

Lose your train of thought?

Take the bus.

Miss the bus?
You better,

run after it..

Noise.

2012-02-29T16:19:00.000-08:00

As I lay here,

I think.

Mute.

Life needs, a mute button.

For those,

Rallying cries of agony.

As the crowds gather,

For sunday mAss.

Those,

screeches of pain.

As the drones

March on by,

singlefile.

With nothing but

Empty debt, $$$

And their, ninetofive,

Mentality.

Those,

Childish howls.

Of innocent bliss.

As red

Suits

Are burnt.

And white beards

Put away.

Cries of desperation,

As,

Trucks crashing,

Over imperfections in,

asphalt,

being.

Created. Organized.

Molded.

Mute.

Life needs a mute button.

For all this,

Fucking

Noise.

shadows

2012-02-29T16:09:00.002-08:00

I regret not closing the blinds.
The sun keeps getting in my eyes.
A story to remain untold.
H2O seeping into cushions
As if it owed the fabric payment.
For deeds done upon.
Refreshments.
SweatBloodTears.
All,
seeping in.
as if owed.
SECRETS;
disarranged and dismantled,
a disassociated disarray.
2Peasinapod.
Laying intertwined.
As if,
one in the same.
Moments,
quaintest of quaints.
As if,
Piloting a submarine.
Deep sea.
10,000 leagues,
Of, extraordinary gentlemen.
And they're all outside.
I regret not closing the blinds.
Tantalizing eyes,
Staring into
Untold secrets.
At least,
they're blocking out the sun.

advice:

2012-02-29T01:03:00.002-08:00

walk.

don't,

talk.

frequencies

2012-02-25T12:35:00.000-08:00

there are so many words
to
describe
so
many things

every thing
is
a symbol
for something

every thing
has
its own purpose

even if that
purpose
is to have no purpose

but such things
do not exist

every thing
has
a
purpose

for if there
was no dust

gravity wouldnt
be
so
pulling

if there was no
grass

the winds
would
tempest
singly

if no people
the
rivers

of creation
would
run dry

beauty would
turn
monochromatic

in a wild,,

greenblue,
and
your
occassionalbrown,

earth.

we are

all

receptors

for these

symbols&signals

you

get out

what you

put in

everything

matters.

what if

2012-02-25T10:28:00.003-08:00

i am

hopeless

romantic

in the sense

that

i have romantic

feelings

inspired by you

but in having

these

i feel hopeless

inspired by you

i guess:: every

coin

has a

second face.

you just

gotta

get

lucky,

every dog

has their

day.

and

people

~~hurt~~love

people,

but

thats

just life.

careless

2012-02-25T10:18:00.000-08:00

the road

behind me

has

had its

bouts

but the path

ahead?

oh the path

ahead

who knows

what it

might shroud

for anything can happen

that

there is

no doubt

so i walk

ahead

its time to say goodbye

2012-02-25T10:16:00.002-08:00

these feet are
missing
blisters

these
hands
are yet
to callous

these arms are
yet
to lean

on old walls
and
ask

questions?
careless.

such as
where
what
why
when
where
why?

The No-Mad

2012-02-25T10:14:00.003-08:00

its

always

time

say

goodbye.

when you live your life

no-madically

the "normality"

"my" day to day

travesties

inquire gravity

in those

surrounding

much like

a snowball

effect

its

always

time

roll

away.

when you live your life

no-madically

and not in fear

or distress

but to see what

else is close near

since traveling is

what

a no-mad

does

best

a no-mad

bye choice

and

will be

for

the rest

of my days

until

they

put me in my

grave

its

always

time

shake

off

when you live your life

no-madically

you'll come

to find

nothing is

serious

as you all

make it

seem,

living life

dramatically.

No-Mad.

twisted praise

2012-02-23T10:26:00.002-08:00

I've finally received,
praise.

After all these moments of disguised guile.

I've been deceived.

Praise has long
been overdue.

After all of these moments of shun and push.

I've been so confused.

Praise,

The lord.

It has finally come.

das wat she sed

creature comforts

2012-02-22T16:18:00.000-08:00

some times

the smile of a stranger

comforts,

more than

the advice

of an old friend,

comforts.

some times

the smile of

an old friend,

comforts

more than

the unconditional

love of a mother,

comforts.

some times

the smile

of a mother,

comforts.

some times

no amount of smiles,

and advice,

or love

comforts.

regardless of

how

unconditional.

some times

everything is dependent,

on the condition.

conditions
comfort

we are creatures of

comfort,

conditioned to

be so.

under certain

conditions,

we are simply

creatures,

and treated

as such.

comfortably,

conditioned.

are you comfortable,

in your condition?

at your service

2012-02-22T16:05:00.000-08:00

you be my french-maid

i your butler.

lets play our roles

flawlessly

and,

serve one another.

as i arc to your will

you bow to mine,

silver platter in hand.

yours,

indentured lover.

lets play our roles,

passionately

disregarding,

you burst at the seams,

as you dust

to find that spot

you missed.

just two more kissed up

and two more to the left,

it sits,

waiting for the sweep

of your lips.

nerve endings,

stimulated.

fabrics become,

frayed.

we lay,

scoured.

emotions scattered.

who is to clean,

our?

collective mess

quickly we both

resume our roles.

you,

my french-maid,

i your butler.

at your service,

silver platter in hand.