Kicking Ass... Occasionally Last

2012-02-06T08:08:00.001-05:00

Yeah Giants!

I'm more of a Jets fan, but I like the Giants, especially when they play that douchebag Brady. Tomorrow is the ticker tape parade, which brings fond memories of 2008 when some drunk guy almost urinated on my son. Lovely New York memories, those. I think we'll be keeping him in school tomorrow, but great game, Blue!

In the meantime I have come to some *IMPORTANT DECISIONS* about my athletic future over the weekend. This was mostly during my "long run" (because 8 miles is what counts for "long" now). While I still would really love to complete a Half Iron in the next year or so, life gets in the way. I am almost definitely going to start massage therapy school this fall, and among my potential start dates is August 27, September 4, and some other day to be determined (the third school doesn't post their academic calendar online). Well, then. That means Rev3 Maine is likely out (it's August 26, and I can't see both completing a HIM and traveling back to New York in one day, so that's that, unless I go to school 2 - which at this point is last on my list). Shoreman is September 8, a Sunday, but I'm kind of wary of trying to complete the race and then show up for class the next day without knowing how I'm going to react. If I just had to sit at a desk it would be one thing, but LMT training is pretty physical. The only other race I would think about at this point might be 70.3 Rhode Island, but I'd be so behind on the training (and it costs so much) that it wouldn't make sense. So I guess I'm saving 70.3 for next year, which is fine.

Given the lack of a looming, giant race in the future, I figured I ought to fill the gaping void with NYCM. Yeah, I think I'm going to sign up. Even if I have a hard time adjusting to the school schedule (which I don't think I will) I'll still find time to run. As for triathlon, I think I might do the whole Long Branch sprint series (it's cheap and I placed there last year) and one or 2 olympic distance races, likely the Kids in Crisis tri in Stamford on July 1 and maybe Mossman in Bridgeport CT on August 26. More likely KIC, but I'll see how that shakes out. In the meantime, I think I'll sign up for the Colon Cancer 15k on April 1, try to find a 10k sometime in March, and will probably run a half sometime in the summer. Who's local, runs wicked slow, and wants to train with me???

2012-02-04T18:11:00.000-05:00

Argh! I am not motivated. And I have no shame about whining about it publicly.

This morning I walked to Starbucks with my son and dog, bought a venti latte, and that was the extent of the physical activity in which I have participated today. Also, tonight I'm going to eat ice cream. I just am. Don't try to talk me out of it.

I could have run for two hours today, or at least ridden my trainer for an hour or so, but I didn't. So there.

***

I don't know why I feel the need to tell the internet this, or why it's so frustrating. To a lot of people, it would mark an awesome Saturday.

***

You know what makes an awesome Sunday? The SUPERBOWL. There will be guacamole, and funny commercials, and oh yeah... the kicking of Tom Brady's ass. It's great to be an American.

***

Did I talk at all about the open house I went to on Wednesday? It went swimmingly. It made me want to be an acupuncturist for about a day, but then I stopped that and got back to thinking I want to be an LMT, and I'm more excited than ever! And I think I'll definitely start in September, because to paraphrase a hackneyed girly rom-com from the late 80's, when you know what you want to do for the rest of your life, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. Especially if that means leaving an ugly, dirty, dusty, unventilated hive of cubicular negativity sooner rather than later. I still haven't decided where I want to go. Details, details. Like I've been saying to various co-workers for the last couple of weeks, it's not like you can go to Yale to get a massage therapy license. Anyway, the school whose open house I attended makes students in massage therapy take tai chi or yoga or qi gong, every semester, to build physical strength and stamina and to avoid burnout and injury when they actually start working on people. I kind of like that. Oh, and there are graduate level biochemistry classes. Scary.

2012-02-01T07:45:00.002-05:00

I won something! I need to thank Iron Bob, of course, for hosting the giveaway, but also my superior, honed Google skills (is there a grad degree in that?)

Today, I'm taking a half day and spending the afternoon at an open house for a health science college. Kick ass! I've done all the math and have a handle on all my savings and am now grappling with the Financial Aid monsters at each of my potential institutions. I'm loathe to take on more student loan debt - I'm still paying off my Bachelors - (I love the alternative meaning of that phrase - "I'm paying off the bachelors. You know, the ones down the hall...") but financially I'm only able to swing one of my three top choices without taking out more loans, possibly some private loans, which is even worse. Franky, I'm more excited about the other two programs, but I've gotten a lot of conflicting feedback online from strangers and it's only served to make me more confused. (For example: Swedish Institute Grad #1: "SI is the best. The other schools don't have class A, B, and C, and you'll never get placed when you graduate if you don't go there." SI Grad #2: "SI is good, but I hired people from schools #2 and #3 and #3 students were better prepared," and finally, "I went to school #1 but wish I had gone to school #2 in hindsight because they focus on what I like. Also, I got a massage from a graduate of school #3 and it sucked.")

In addition to confusing me, all of this served to illustrate that the process and outcome seem to be very individual and that the initial degree and subsequent licensure are only a starting point, since you're required to take continuing education credits every year anyway. My main concern is that the program I can afford, and that is much shorter with the same amount of coursework (they all have 1000 hours practical experience or more) is super intensive and meets every weekday from 9 to 5, and later when you advance to the point that you're working in the student clinic and providing massage there. I'm a smart enough person, I can probably handle it academically, but that's rough when compared to a class structure that lasts half a day and has a two-week break every quarter. Still, it could potentially save me $10,000, so I think I can suck it up for 7 months (as opposed to 16.... and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around us paying NYC rent for 16 months on one income). Is basing it all on finances the wrong approach? Is getting a ([n] arguably) better or more prestigious (again, highly subjective opinion) or marketable degree worth getting deeper in debt and making other financial sacrifices (especially, no offense, when we're comparing for-profit diploma mills that result in a negligible degree)? I love the idea of half days of class work and maybe getting a part time job (or having time to train! a lot!) but I'll pass if it means piling on another $15 or $20,000 of debt - at 8%! Am I lazy? Misguided?

Anyway, open house. Today. At my #3 choice. May it be fun, and not confusing and anxiety producing.

2012-01-30T21:25:00.001-05:00

I'm in the blog closet.

Today one of the witty, bright, friendly Ivy graduate millennials with whom I work gave me the url to his blog, which he has referenced often in conversation but to which I have never ventured. It's fine, not really my thing, maybe overly clever and writerly. There are links to a lot of other clever and writerly sites with heavy political insights and overthought jokes and inside, winky photos. It was fine, really, just not really my thing at all, and tried really hard to be well written. If I was 25? All over it. 25 and had just moved to NYC and felt like I owned the city with all of my school friends and Occupy this and politicize that? Oh hells yeah. But I'm 37, and I'm somebody's mother, and while I may have flirted with a radical bent, oh, 15 years ago, mostly now I'm just tired and make some food and go to bed early. Which is not nearly as bad as it sounds; actually, it kicks a lot of ass*.

*Disclaimer: I am in bed RIGHT NOW.

Anyway, the thing is, this kid is on Blogger (seems like more of a Tumblr, but I digress), and I actually had a debate in my mind regarding the wisdom of signing in and becoming a follower with my blogger ID, which would in effect out me. I don't blog anonymously but I certainly don't self promote, and as far as I know nobody at work knows about my little Mrs. Duffy at blogspot adventure. They likely wouldn't be all that interested ; there are hardly deep thoughts being thunk here, and most of the people I know are pretty well into their "I drink a lot on the weekend and sometimes I smoke" phases rather than their "I am getting older and maybe I would like to start exercising now, you know, for health" phases, so the whole "I also like endurance sports!" aspect of things is out. Still, I'm not at all comfortable telling anybody about it and would be mortified if they found out. Why?

(This doesn't apply to old friends or running / tri friends or family, by the way. Only overly snarky young privileged work friends. Even those with their own blogs / tumblrs, etc.)

I think because, ultimately, and unlike a lot of the clever, literary bloggers, I am not trying to get attention. I am trying to spew out some thoughts, sure, and find like minded endurance obsessed people (which, if you've read this far, you've figured out are few and far between in my particular cubicle farm.) I am looking for motivation and ideas and tips, absolutely. But I'm still not comfortable with a public identity as "ATHLETE!" Even though it's how I self identify. Is it a body image thing? An ageism thing (brought on solely by me against myself, of course; specifically, me thinking I don't measure up because these kids are all witty and literary and not athletic, but I am, but I don't look like your typical athlete and most of them could dust me, regardless...) I don't know. But I think somewhere in my psyche it's why I want to go away, leave the cubicle farm, and start working on and with and for the people who value the physical side of things. I've already satisfied the inner smart girl; there's nothing left to prove there. But making the inner athlete the public, outward athlete? That's much more interesting.

2012-01-24T07:45:00.001-05:00

My husband is famous! Well, not really. My running path is famous too! Not really that either, actually. The full story is here, on News 12's web site. I couldn't figure out how to embed the video, so this is just a screen shot.

OK, the actual story is pretty sad. We live adjacent to a service road for the Hutchinson River Parkway. One of the obscure, weird things about NYC traffic is that trucks are allowed on Expressways but not on Parkways because of low bridges, and truck drivers generally know this (if they don't, they should). We live beside the overpass pictured behind my husband's giant Irish head (and my running / biking path goes along both sides of it). Trucks smash into this underpass at least once a week, usually with property damage but no injuries, and Monday is one of Tim's days off (his weekend is Sunday and Monday) so he was home during the day. He's also geekily fascinated by trucks slamming into the overpass. They make a huge crash, and then he and a bunch of other nosy neighborhood geeks run outside to see what happened. Sometimes he makes a show of walking the dog, just to see what's out there.

This time, the entire trailer portion of a tractor trailer was torn from the flatbed, twisted up, and slammed into a stopped truck that contained two bridge inspectors (probably inspecting damage from the last time this happened) who are both in critical condition and not expected to live. Tim, of course, was out there checking everything out when the lady from News 12 stopped to talk to him. Tim's elevated status as overpass pundit has been the source of endless entertainment around here (although the circumstances surrounding his newfound punditry are terrible - those inspectors never deserved this, and it's the possible result every time one of those drivers can't figure out that he's on a parkway).

If you watch the video you can see the artful editing where they open Tim's segment with him saying "BOOM!" Then headband guy talks for awhile, and then Tim talks again about how lame it is that truck drivers can't figure out they're not supposed to drive here. We don't know headband guy. He's just some other looky-loo out there to see the big truck crash.

A few things: Way to represent the Mets on Bronx 12! And way to be camera ready in sweatpants! I also love the subtitle: "Lives near overpass." It kind of implies that my husband could actually live under the overpass, given his general day-off affect and demeanor, which honestly isn't too far off (at least he doesn't smell homeless). Also, if you watch the video, the reporter who does the segment is actually the weather person for News 12 Bronx, which I find hilarious.

Also, my talking-head husband is right. At least once a week, some idiot crashes into that overpass, and every time it takes dozens of cops and firefighters to come out and fix traffic, clean up the mess, and get traffic moving again, much less the engineers and inspectors who have to come and assess the damage and make sure that the overpass is still safe. This speaks to a larger point about driver exceptionalism, or the phenomenon of drivers who feel like the rules - any rules, you know, like stop signs, or lights, or speed limits - don't apply to them. This guy nearly killed two people, and it could have been worse but for the traffic conditions at that moment. WTF, drivers?

2012-01-23T10:51:00.000-05:00

I'm pausing my regularly scheduled employment today to take a day off and take my kid to open a bank account, since he effectively has a week vacation for midterms (soon to be followed by a real week and a half off in February... being a high school student is SO HARD). This makes it a 3-day weekend, during which I have successfully procrastinated in performing all of my weekendy tasks (cleaning, buying food, etc.) and have to do them today. When all of that is said and done, I'm probably going to do the trainer workout on the DVD that came with my trainer, something about "Race Day!" which is probably too intense for this point in the season... or maybe I'll just use the time to FINALLY watch the first disc of the first season of Boardwalk Empire, since Netflix saw fit to get it to me after it had been out for, oh, a few weeks. Ho hum. (Although, prohibition era Omar? Yes, please.)

In the meantime, I've resorted to my usual indecisive stance as regards the 2012 race season. Guess what? Rev3 has a new Maine race (did I mention this when they did, in Septmeber? or since? Yes.) on August 26, two weeks before the OTHER 70.3 I had planned on, Shoreman, in September. It's more expensive, it's travel, and it's an inaugural race (although, given that it's a Rev3, I don't think that's going to be an issue). But, it's still pretty flat, and I've been wanting to go back to Maine and camp more with everyone, not just Kiernan like last year, so I've been thinking about doing the Rev3 race instead because it falls at a good time and I could get in a nice trip without sacrificing training time or anything else. Also, if I nix the marathon, that's $226 in my race budget that I didn't have before.

PLUS, super secret bonus: The date, August 26, is a lot better that September 8 IF IN FACT I START MASSAGE THERAPY SCHOOL ON TUESDAY SEPTEMBER 4!!! That's not a likely scenario, because I think I will more likely start in 2013. BUT IT'S TOTALLY POSSIBLE AND THAT IS SO FREAKING EXCITING!!! Deep breath. Yeah, I'd rather wait a little longer to pay down our car payments a little more, etc., but it could happen, and wouldn't my first 70.3 followed by a week of camping in the gorgeous Maine woods and seeing my extended family be an excellent way to kick it off? Yeah, I thought so too.

2012-01-21T11:05:00.002-05:00

Things that happened to me this week:

Tore my right cornea. In my sleep. WTF???
Missed all swim workouts because I was so shocked about the torn cornea (I thought I had an eyelash stuck in my eye) that I forgot to ask the ophthalmologist if I could swim.
Learned to spell "ophthalmologist."
Healed the torn cornea, but still felt psychosomatic eye weirdness
Attended multiple ophthalmologist appointments (see??? spelled correctly!), thus gaining the opportunity to be away from my dry, nasty, unventilated office, which I suspect caused the dry-eye (and sleep-cornea-tearing) problems in the first place
Walked my child and dog through a mini blizzard to get coffee from Dunkin Donuts (if you can call it coffee - I like mine dark and have to make Dunkin "turbo" [adding an espresso shot] to make it palatable) because in all the ophthalmology excitement I forgot to get more coffee yesterday
Projected, for today: missed my long run due to aforementioned mini-blizzard; also project a long trainer ride instead (maybe I'll run tomorrow when it's plowed out?) but that would necessitate the Saturday programming improving post-haste, since my husband felt the need to reboot our Playstation 3 but neglected to reinstall the Netflix or DVD capabilities, both of which make long trainer rides possible, and I refuse to mess with that.
Since when do mini blizzards make me miss all my workouts? This lack of snow has made me soft. But walking for coffee was enough for me to know that running in this shit is not happening. Also, my son called me a "crazy white person" for even considering the notion. What does that even mean? Oh, he's a sophomore at a public high school in the Bronx, if that clarifies anything. (It didn't for me.)
PS - don't diss public high schools in the Bronx: my kid is learning Java, in his spare time during lunch, because they want him to assume school website design duties. Not only will he be rich and buy me nice things, but he might even design a blog for me in the future.
Closely related: flash snobs.

2012-01-16T19:43:00.002-05:00

Chrissie Wellington is taking a break from competition!

I just found out about this. Is she going to come back? Who else will so thoroughly dominate everyone else in her class, even at 85% capacity? I'm definitely buying her book, anyway, because I'm sure she'll share the secrets to her superpowers. Right?

2012-01-14T17:07:00.001-05:00

1) The ladies made me feel all verklempt. So did Ritz.
2) I like Meb's ponytail hole.

2012-01-12T08:11:00.000-05:00

This was in my inbox last week. FYI, New York Road Runners, my commute is sometimes an adventure through all five boroughs, but the marathon is not. An arduous endurance test? A citywide party? Sure. But as far as adventures go, it's somewhat predictable, and it's not like you even get to see anything all that special as far as city sights go. I'm just saying.

I am torn about my special opportunity to spend over $225 on a marathon (I think it's $11 for the nonrefundable fee and $216 for the actual entry). For one, the price is a turnoff. I was prepared to pay $150, even $185, because it's an awesome World Marathon Major and I think the experience is worth that amount of money, but $226 is steep.

Second, I'm less and less excited about, you know, training for a marathon. If last year is any indication, I will want to be done after my 'A' race, which is the Shoreman Half Iron . This is unquestionably the priority for me when I think about what I want to accomplish in 2012. Going from that straight into 18 and 20 mile long runs might be hard. (You think? Sometimes I am a genius.) I am just starting to get into heart rate training and prep / base training for the half, and really starting to believe that I can make significant fitness gains this year that let me not only finish a half-iron distance but do so intelligently and, dare I say, comfortably (not that I think the race is going to be comfortable. Just that at one point whether I would even be able to make the time cutoffs was in doubt, but now I'm gaining confidence and starting to think that I'll do a lot better than just trying to beat the cutoff.) That's my focus, even this early in the year, and it's going to be intense. I'm going to want a breather when I'm done.

That said, I'm always pumped about marathon time when the marathon is actually upon us, and my plan in signing up this year has always been to do just enough run training to get by, but to enjoy the aerobic endurance gains I'm going to get from training for a marathon and just enjoy the 26.2 mile party when it comes time to race. It's not about PRs or training so hard I injure myself. Also, in this past off season, all I wanted to do was run, which bodes well for training for a stand-alone running race. There are 8 weeks between races, but at the week 1 point I should be in good half-marathon shape, be used to running as much as 15 miles, and have an extra endurance boost from having just completed a 7 to 8 hour race (that's what I think it's going to take for me to complete a half-iron). I'm not planning to do 9 + 1 this year (the local option to get guaranteed entry - do 9 NYRR races, volunteer for 1, and you too can pay $226 to the NYRR!) so it might be my last chance for awhile, unless I enter anyway and then cancel, which means they'll save a spot for me in 2013 but keep my money.

I have until April 23 to decide. You might want to prepare for more waffling, indecisive posts about signing up, but right now I think "no" is probably the right answer, although I will string it out until the last possible minute.

2012-01-10T08:17:00.005-05:00

Meh.

You'll be happy to hear (because your happiness hinges on my training; that's why you're here, right?) that I've been banging out some very consistent, good weeks. They're just not very exciting. In fact one of the more exciting things that happened this week was that I left late for the pool this morning and didn't get in as long as a swim as I wanted, had to skip weights entirely, but taught myself how to (awkwardly. No, really) flip-turn. See, I've got this deal with my husband where I take the car to the gym but have it back in front of our building at 7 so he can leave for work. Hence, the blogging now despite said time crunch. Exciting, I know. Isn't that what I said?

What is (okay, only moderately) more interesting is that I've been doing lactate threshold heart rate tests on myself for the bike and run, and my lactate threshold for those 2 sports is evidently wildly divergent. My LTHR is allegedly 151 on the bike but 179 on the run. I probably could have pushed a bit harder on the bike test, but it would still be way low comparatively. Why is that? I know you use less muscle on the bike, and personally my bike fitness is far less developed than my run fitness, after years spent just running, but it seems like 30 beats per minute is a pretty big gap. Still, when I tried to do a zone 2 ride the other day, I could barely get my heart rate to climb up to zone 2 level - which for me, based on that 151 I got from the test, is above 121, or like a brisk walk. Maybe I'm just lazy.

Anyway, this is how you test it, per Joe Friel:

Warm up. Then run or bike as hard as you can for 30 minutes. Hit the lap button at 10 minutes. Your average heart rate for the last 20 minutes is your LTHR in either sport.

To me the excellent part about this is I get to go slow all the time, legitimately. As in, I'm supposed to be just as slow as I am, even slower.

The bad part is the crushing guilt over the lack of hard work.

Oh, the guilt.

I know there are a few other bloggers out there doing coach - mandated heart rate training right now. Have you trained with heart rate? Has it been worth it? I feel that I have often had so little structure in my training that this is one of the first intelligent, scientific approaches I've taken - not just following a plan verbatim out of a book, but making sure that my personal aerobic capacity is fully developed. This is the only way I'm going to get through 70.3 miles. What have your experiences been?

2012-01-08T13:57:00.000-05:00

It's been a good week to train. The weather was weird, like weather is (25 to 60 and back again.. in January... in the northeast US...) but I finished all the rides and swims and runs and picked up all the heavy weights I said I was going to, so there's that. Yesterday I did 3 workouts, including a 1000 yard swim (that started faster than I used to swim and ended slower) and found new running trails. This morning I went back to Danny's cycles for them to install my pedals and I learned to clip in and out. Let me just say I'm glad that I have an entire winter on a trainer to figure that out, because I'm probably going to fall the first time I have to actually stop because I'm moving and not stationary, and I'm perfectly willing to put that pain off until the last possible minute.

I've been ridiculously tired, like, yawning all day tired. I think it's because I'm finally getting back to putting in proper training and because SWIMMING MAKES YOU REALLY TIRED I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. I still like it, though. It's all soothing and warm and splashy when everything outside is freezing (or freakishly warm... you know, depending on the day). For now, I'm about to change and get on that trainer again for an hour, the mere thought of which makes my butt spasm involuntarily, because whatever butt-toughness I had earned over the summer is now a distant memory thank-you-very-much. I have the NY Giants to watch in the playoffs, which could be good or bad, depending. Next week should be more of the same because mandatory overtime is finally over (thank you benevolent overlords) and I get my personal time back. This is my schedule for the week: (I joined one of the mentoring forums on Beginner Triathlete and now I'm all about posting things to be accountable for them; humor me.)

Mon: AM running lactate threshold heart rate test, about 20-30 min of w/u and c/d and 30 min of test
Tue: AM swim, maybe weights, PM trainer ride
Wed: AM run - 45-60 min
Thu: AM swim & weights, PM trainer
Fri: AM run 20 - 30 min
Sat: run 75 min, possible trainer
Sun: swim 40 min, weights, trainer if none on Sat (or maybe both days)

Also, the Olympic marathon trials are next weekend! I'm a big Desi fan on the women's side, and it looks like Shalane's going to get in there too, but for the men, who knows? Hall, sure, but who else? Ritz? Meb? Meb seems healthy these days, but still. Eh. I'm for a surprising upstart, especially since Rupp just announced that he's out.

2012-01-04T08:02:00.000-05:00

It's 16 degrees in New York this morning.

I know all you runners are patting yourselves on your sweaty yet cold, possibly icy (eww!) backs, or else you're about to die of boredom on a treadmill. Cyclists, let's not kid ourselves. You haven't been outside in more than a month.

This is where triathletes are superior to all you single sport types.

I spent this morning in an 80 degree heated pool. Just like the beach!

Yeah, yeah, I've only been to the pool, um, twice, including this time, since August. I knocked out a huge 500 yards (hahahahaha) and my arms now feel like jello, but that's ok, because I'm still just as slow as I was last August. My evil plan to forget how to swim and then magically be faster didn't work, apparently, but now at least I'm more aware of some form flaws and am (slowly, slowly) working on them. I don't hate swimming. It's just really inconvenient because I have to drive there.

On a related note, for the NYC runners, have you noticed that we are now back on schedule with the annual new year goose poop season? Like clockwork, every year around December 26, my running path slowly becomes dotted with pile upon pile of tiny (or huge... it's all relative) goose poops, until by mid February I am performing a virtual tap dance over the path to save my precious Asics from being covered in crap.

Ah, winter in the north east.

2012-01-02T16:00:00.000-05:00

Mr. Duffy & I just got back from Danny's Cycles, a great little shop in Scarsdale (there's one on the Upper East Side for all you city folks), where we completed the Christmas / Birthday trifecta:


Le trainer

Amazing Italian cycling shoes for only 50 bucks!

...and pedals for noobs.

First, how lucky am I? Seriously. My man is the best, ever. Period. He's not the least bit interested in triathlon, marathons, cycling, etc., but he knows I am and does his homework to make sure I'm getting the good stuff.

Second, the guy at the store said (and I quote:) "Your power and speed are about to get a lot better." YES! I didn't bring my bike on our little trip, but I'm going to load it up in our Forester next weekend and bring it back, and the guys at Danny's will install the peals and the cleats and then set it up on a trainer there to teach me how not to fall over and die.

I am going to BEAST on the bike this summer.

2011-12-31T13:30:00.002-05:00

The wrap up post you've been dying for...

2011 was amazing because it was my inaugural year as a triathlete! I can't believe it's been only a year, because I've bought in to the multisport lifestyle and fully identify (as opposed to being a single sport athlete, for example, calling myself "a runner.") It's as though I've always been biking and swimming to add some spice to my run... even though lately, I haven't. That changes this weekend.

Even though this blog is essentially a training diary and focused exclusively on my endurance adventures, life is not. As for my personal life, 2011 was everything I could have hoped: family and friends both grew closer (and expanded, inasmuch as I made some new friends this year - trust me, that's unusual for this curmudgeon) and I finally grew up a little and learned to be a little gentler on those around me while still sticking up for myself. Professionally, well, meh. But two out of three ain't bad, and I take the "meh" factor as an opportunity for growth. No, I did not just read a self help title, talk to a life coach, or practice job interview answers. I mean it. I am now at a point, intellectually and emotionally, where I can see how my current professional life is lacking, how it doesn't fit me, and furthermore how I can change it - and THAT, my friends, is HUGE. I've been known to wallow in self doubt, feel confused, and blame my perceived lack of value for any problems around me and the fact that I'm now capable of seeing past that, forming a plan and acting on it is a dramatic leap forward. I look forward to further adventures in self-respect in 2012.

OK, enough of that hippie shit. SPORTS!

So far, my 2012 plans have been a little, shall we say, jumbled. I'm still committed to training for and completing the Shoreman Half Iron, but I've been going back and forth over the rest of the season for what seems like a ridiculous amount of time. I keep those links to "upcoming races" in the sidebar, but most of those are just guesses as to what I might actually register for. There should be at least one flattish Olympic distance race, and I have recently become re-infatuated with the Long Branch Sprint series (this year on 6/17, 7/15, and 8/18) since the terrain matches my goal race. Oh, and because they're cheap. Actually, most of my potential race schedule this year is fairly reasonably priced, and I intend to race less this year than in the past, largely because I'm not trying to complete the 9 + 1 for the New York City Marathon.

Speaking of the ol' NYCM, have you heard about the pricing this year? Yes, it's gone up - not as far as I feared (I was seriously thinking it could approach $300 for members) but up to $215 for members, and a lot higher for others (I think it's $347 for international applicants - including Canada - but as a blogger I stand by my right to be lazy and not seek out the easily had reference material to support my posts. Take that, real journalism). I still want to run a marathon this fall. NYC still falls in a good spot in my schedule, and if you factor in the cost of hotels and the overall fantasticosity (yes, real word) of the NYC race experience it's still the right choice, but damn. I could run Hartford, just a little further up the road with the same sponsor and about 2 weeks earlier than NYC, for $85 bucks. But then, it wouldn't be the New York Freaking "I'm a huge deal" Marathon.

My decision to race less, train more is also influenced by a related but totally separate goal that has as much to do with my proposed career change as anything else: a 2012 financial marathon. That's right. I want to spend less money and be smarter about what I do spend, hence the reluctance to shell out $215 for 26.2 miles when I'm looking at spending the comparatively paltry amount of $130 for 70.3. This is smart in general, but especially relevant because I'm planning to basically eliminate my income in favor of seeking greener pastures in 2013. Which, I'm sure, will make for a way cooler wrap-up / looking forward topic this time next year.

In the meantime, happy new year! And happy "you're now 38 in USAT years" to me!

2011-12-28T21:30:00.000-05:00

So, I go away from the internet for one workday, and then everyone's blowing up with New Year's resolutions / plans / wrap-up posts. Well, here's some news: New Year's isn't until Saturday! And get off my lawn! Heh. Don't mind me. I'm just bitter because I don't feel like I have any time even though I've only been back to work for one day. I think it's going around. The kid who sits next to me was whining all day, a random guy on the train kept yelling about his Metrocard (and he didn't seem like the type to yell random complaints at strangers, if you know what I mean; there are plenty of those, too...) and I just listened to my husband go off on a ten minute rant about the Kardashians. (No, really. That just happened.)

Never fear, I'll resolve to do some things. And I'll wrap some things up. I'm also supposed to put out a review soon (although, the thing I'm reviewing could have had a part in the great flu-like Christmas dinner ruining of 2011, so that may be somewhat truncated). But in the meantime, I have to work for some ridiculous amount of time like 12 hours or something tomorrow (I kid, I kid! But not that much) and I can barely think about stuffing defrosted instant Trader Joe's something or other down my gullet, much less goals and aspirations and all that. Oh, but guess what? My gullet is now accepting defrosted foods on a regular basis, which is exciting. Wait, wait : THAT's my resolution: Throw up less in 2012. There, I'm done! How about you?

2011-12-26T16:21:00.000-05:00

So, it's 4 pm on boxing day and I haven't showered yet, or changed out of my pajamas. Booo! Oh, and yaaaay!

Seriously, my Christmas weekend was kind of a bust. I was very happy and grateful to spend time with the ones I love most, so it's absolutely not about that, but on Friday night (Christmas Eve Eve) we ordered some takeout, and I think I got a bad piece of chicken or some rotten cheese in my quesadilla, because as of Saturday morning I started puking and didn't stop until that night. It got to a point where I decided I'd rather barf something than nothing so I sent Kiernan to the store to buy some grapes, apple juice and saltines so I'd have something to vomit up. AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU! Ha ha....

Anyway, by the time Christmas morning rolled around I felt much better, but still off enough that we just ate our appetizers (shrimp! brie! soppresata! none of these sound good for an upset stomach, but it was just fine, thanks...) and put off our delicious planned dinner (a beautiful hunk of beef tenderloin that cost more than ~~some~~ several of our presents, a red wine reduction, and some nice vegetables) until next weekend, for New Year's (and FYI, MY BIRTHDAY!!!) Now, I have the day off, and despite my good intentions of going for a nice run, my stomach felt pretty weird after eating an english muffin, so I wound up in a pile of blankets on my couch, watching this show on TLC about a woman who eats toilet paper. WHAT? That's crazy.

My backup was the Xterra world championships on Universal Sports, if that makes it any better.

I am trying not to feel lazy and guilty because, seriously, I feel weak and weird and can't fuel or hydrate properly without worrying about whether I'm going to keep it down (that all began and ended on Saturday, but I definitely still feel kind of queasy and not my usual iron-stomach self).

In the meantime, I am happy to report that Santa came and brought me a much better trainer than I thought he would:

The Cycle Ops Magneto, with a climbing block. Santa really wants to get me one of those $75 sweat mats that go with it, but I feel like my old beat-up Nike yoga mat will probably suffice, right? Santa's also talking about extending into birthday-land and picking up some clip-on aerobars, and I'm a fan, even though I think I need pedals and shoes first (but there's always Bonktown for that, right?) Now we just need to set it up, and my night time workouts are good to go (mornings are for swimming, running, and weights. Obviously.)

As soon as I can look at a GU pack without thinking about what it would be like to hurl it back up, of course. Disclaimer: in the case of GU, that could be "never."

2011-12-23T07:52:00.000-05:00

Heelloooooo!

I am avoiding getting ready for work right now. AMAZING, RIGHT? When I do get ready, I have a truncated day to look forward to (as much as I complain about my office they're kind enough to release us early on major holiday weekends) then shopping at Whole Foods for our Christmas dinner (beef tenderloin roast, red wine reduction, roasted potatoes and a shit-ton of shrimp will be major players) and then THREE DAY WEEKEND WOOOOOOOOOO!

Oh, and it's Christmas. Ahem.

And the Jets and Giants are playing each other tomorrow at 1 (*wrings hands*).

It's entirely possible that I won't post anything for another five days. If this is the case, I wish you a premature merry Christmas, maybe even a happy new year. It's also entirely possible that I'll be overcome with free time and spend it writing posts that no one will read, since they have lives and will be doing other things. Either or.

P.S. Still running pretty consistently but not swimming, lifting weights or biking. Let's see what Santa brings.

2011-12-17T13:43:00.002-05:00

I'm really into Christmas. I don't know what it is - I'm not religious, so it's not that - but I really like shopping for gifts, wrapping them in fancy, thick, good wrapping paper, thinking about how much the recipients will like them, and looking at pretty lights and smelling Christmas tree scents for a month. Last weekend we picked up a douglas fir and it smells SO! GOOD! And it's fat and round and awesome and I'm really, really excited about it.

Anyway, that kind of explains why, when my husband casually asked me the other night how my training was going, and when I said it's kind of taking a hit due to the darkness and the mandatory overtime and the general holiday business, and he asked if I wanted an early Christmas present, I declined. Who wants to ruin a good (well, not that surprising... it's totally a bike trainer) surprise and pretty wrapping (well, if my husband's past wrapping jobs are any indication, it won't actually be pretty) and nice gifts under the tree? It's the thought that counts, and I LOVE the thought, but I want my Christmas present on Christmas, damn it! I don't really care what I get, either. I think I'm at the point where if I want something, I just buy it (case in point - I'm probably going to buy myself one of those $90 Sunto GPS watches for my birthday, after Christmas. I'm the last Garmin holdout I know. Good thing I held out until they came out with $90 GPS instead of $400 GPS.)

Do you want your presents (if you don't celebrate Christmas, than birthday, whatever...) on the day of, or before? What about gift shopping? I've been talking to a lot of people who haven't shopped and have no idea what they're doing, and I'm thinking of gifts for their friends and family, who I don't even know. Is this my special super power? How did it take so long to discover?

2011-12-11T19:51:00.001-05:00

... Did I mention in my last post that tales of great endurance and overcoming obstacles against significant odds makes me cry a little? Well, I just got tears in my eyes, AGAIN, while reading Matt Long's wedding announcement in the New York Times style section just now. You remember Matt Long, author of the Long Run, FDNY firefighter, Ironman, and survivor of a horrific bike - bus accident in 2005. He got married last weekend to a beautiful physical therapist with two daughters, Mary Boyle. Happy holidays, you crazy kids!

P.S. Bob, those guys falling over are you NEXT year at Kona. Only, preferably without the falling over part.

2011-12-10T18:00:00.001-05:00

To paraphrase Al Trautwig, "The pride in getting back up erases all the falls."

Why does endurance programming make me cry like a baby? The lady with cancer hugging her family at the finish was just the killer. And the two older men who were all keeled over and kept falling but finished anyway, and Lee Hollander finishing AGAIN at what, 82?... AMAZING.

2011-12-08T20:36:00.001-05:00

I realized today as I have several times in the past few weeks that you can find little glimpses of joy everywhere, all the time. Today mine was on the subway, of all places, passing by the 125th Street station in Harlem and seeing some teenagers dance around spontaneously while 4 or 5 really decent drummers played on the platform. OK, I'm ordinarily annoyed by teenagers, with the exception of the one I spawned. And I'm generally annoyed by buskers, too, unless they're talented. But this kid was just so goofy and carefree, and the crowd was just so into it, that I couldn't help it. It made me happy. The city surprises me all the time. One minute I'm all, I'm over it, I want to go to the country and not see anyone else for a month, and the next someone offers an old lady a seat next to me and it's all kittens and rainbows.

Speaking of kittens and rainbows, I've been shopping for massage therapy programs and the current plan is to pull the trigger in January 2013. I am PUMPED but I don't know where I want to go yet. Is anyone reading this an LMT with a recommendation? Have you received massage in the NYC area? Do you know a massage therapist? Where did they go? I have a little list, and at the moment I'm thinking it's between the Swedish Institute and the Finger Lakes School of Massage annex up in Mount Kisco, but that changes day to day and I don't really expect anyone reading this to know one from the other, but it's worth asking on the off chance that one of you is secretly a sports massage guru.

In the meantime, thoughts of happy times to come are the only thing getting me through my days half of the time. Especially because they just sprang on us that we have to do a ton of extra work (read: stay a ton of extra hours) from now through the first week of January. Way to have respect for our personal lives and help us plan ahead during the holidays, guys. (*Happy thoughts, happy thought, kittens, rainbows, happy thoughts*)

2011-12-03T10:44:00.001-05:00

$117.00 for a half marathon. YIKES.

I know there was a big outcry last year from local runners about being shut out of the NYC Half due to the lottery logistics, and that NYRR responded by initiating a guaranteed entry system for 2012 that required runners to run 4/5 local 5 borough half marathon grand prix races (why the local runners couldn't just be members and run one of the borough halfs doesn't make sense to me, either, but we're not here for that). I didn't make an effort to qualify, because frankly I don't think running through Central Park once and then running down the West Side Highway is that big of a deal, but I've always thought running through Times Square could be pretty cool (much as I loathe going anywhere near Times Square in real life, having it shut down just to run through would kind of rock). I flirted with entering the lottery for this go round, but then they announced the price. $117 for members and $128 for non-members. Good God. Many, many marathons charge less than that, and this is just a half. An overcrowded, logistically weird half on a point-to-point course where the field laps itself on the Central Park loop and then spends the second half on concrete. Yes, there are big name elites, but there are big name elites in a lot of NYRR races, and the average half marathoner probably doesn't even know any of those big names, even the high profile American ones like Kara Goucher and Galen Rupp.


Galen Rupp, NYC Half's original ninja

Anyway, just as in years past, I pass on this one. You can run through Times Square for free; you just have to be willing to face death (and who really wants to pass neon-lit Starbucks and McDonald's while battling huge crowds of camera obsessed tourists anyway?) My main fear now is that the full will be something even more ridiculous, like $300. I'm exaggerating, but only a little bit. They're not joking when they talk about how much everything is inflated in New York. The new inaugural Ironman American Championships (whatever that means) was at least $300 more expensive than any other Ironman branded race, the NYC Half was already too expensive before they jacked it up this high, and the ING New York City Marathon has been above $150 (for members, with a $40 annual membership for two years in a row, and 9 club races the prior year for at least $18 each) for years without even considering what they might ask this year.

Anyway, as always, the whining on the NYRR facebook page should be entertaining. Or infuriating. Depends on your state of mind, I guess. In any case, count me out!

2011-11-30T21:49:00.001-05:00

You guys are the greatest and, for the record, I'm feeling much better.

Mainly, though, I'm double posting to tell you about Mandy from Caratunk Girl's Zuke treats giveaway. If you have a doggy friend, head over there and check it out. Mandy and Porter, her big old mountain dog, are now sponsored by Zuke's and she's having a dog treat giveaway. Good organic stuff for your best buddy.

2011-11-30T07:40:00.001-05:00

It's a new day!

It's amazing what a good night's sleep followed by a short, hard run will do for you. Especially when that sleep + run follows a night of anxiety ridden insomnia.

I figured a few things out, and if all goes according to plan (as my Irish Catholic husband likes to say, "Tell God your plans,") I may be a full time massage therapy student as soon as January 2013. Holy new year's resolution. There are certainly still details to be ironed out (such as, where do I want to go? Oh, and where are we going to get our health insurance?) but there's also a lot of time to resolve them. Basically, I figured out that I have enough savings right now that will be accessible to me when and if I leave my current employment that I can stuff it all in a savings account and still pay for my portion of the household bills for the duration of the full time program. Is cashing out your savings a good, safe, bet? No, not generally. But I feel fantastic. There are options and I am most decidedly not trapped.

It's ironic that it took a couple of small minded, petty, nitpicking people to make me realize how unlimited things really are for me. I feel so good right now, in fact, that I actually feel sorry for them instead of angry, as I had been feeling for the past few days. I feel sorry for them because I have everything - true love, a fantastic child, a real grasp of what moves me and makes me happy - and, to outward appearances at least, all they have is an ugly cubicle and an inflated sense of importance that pushes them to bully their paper-pushing cohorts. Good luck with that. Am I still worried and anxious about the present? Sure, absolutely. But I figure there's not a damn thing they can do that I can't get through and come out even more amazing on the other side.

Seriously, HAVE A GREAT DAY.