Skyler Reep's Blog

Finishing The Leaves

2011-11-16T18:53:00.001-07:00

This book was so unsettling, so tangled, and so unnervingly powerful -- that it took me seven months to work through it. Admittedly for most of the first four months, House of Leaves remained tightly closed with other, happier books piled on top of it. My lonely bookmark remained tentatively tucked into the start of the second chapter.

I was initially excited to read a novel hailed by various critics with hyperbolic expressions like "most important," "most brilliant," and "most disturbing." The last of these registered with me only as the kind of praise that accompanies any other good mystery or drama.*

On a bright spring afternoon, I read the unique introduction -- already slightly unsettled by the lonely warning on an otherwise blank page:

This is not for you.

The notion that the text of the novel is a found manuscript added a layer of disorientation to my reading. The manuscript was said to have been written by a blind man, and it concerned a film about a mysterious house whose interior dimensions were just a little bit bigger than they should have been. The idea that the author was just a drug-addled tattoo artist who was slipping into madness just by reading the words I now read really turned up the intensity, and I noticed a rising anxiety within me. I felt cold and light-headed, and a knot moved from my throat to my stomach.

After a peek into the second chapter, I slammed they ill-sized cover** closed and turned on all the lights in my house. I busied myself with small tasks and chores before bedtime, but my anxiety grew into a swollen, nameless dread. I had progressed so slightly into the narrative of the book, that I knew that I couldn't have been responding to actual plot or concepts. My response could only have been to the subtleties of language, of theme...of text.

I couldn't sleep with the book in my apartment, and I literally locked it outside that night. I slept with the lights on -- and then: fitfully.

I gave the book away to a friend who scoffed and my emotional response to something as harmless as a few leaves of paper. I felt silly, but I was glad to be rid of it.

Until I found it one morning sitting in my apartment again!

I called the friend to whom I'd given it, and she just laughed, "I didn't like it. I dropped it off last time I was at your house."

I re-read the page that had stopped me last time, and felt my stomach twist. I gave the book away again to someone else.

And yet I couldn't stop thinking about it. I read about it all over the web. I read reviews and essays and analyses. I realized I was being silly, and I went to the bookstore to buy a fresh, full-color version. If I was going to conquer this thing, I wanted to do so with blue houses and red ~~Minotaurs~~.

At the bookstore check-stand, the portly clerk gave me a wide-eyed look. "Oh my God," she said. "This is the scariest book I've ever read. Good luck. I can't finish it." She handed me my receipt, "And frankly, I'm glad you're getting it out of my store."

So that's when I tucked my bookmark into Chapter II and buried the fresh copy under other, less threatening books.

For

the

whole

summer.

I finished over a dozen other books. I reviewed some of them in my last post. Then I even tackled Infinite Jest, which was so epic I'll be approaching it in an article of its own. I finished book after book, and every time I reached past House of Leaves.

Until one day I didn't.

I cracked the binding, sat back and drank it in. And I loved it.

But I made a rule for myself: I read only two hours at a time -- and only before noon. That way I had plenty of hours of daylight to digest and distract before turning the lights off to fall asleep alone in my house.

It worked for the most part. My waking hours had none of the vague dread I experienced the first time around, though I still sometimes felt something lurking behind me. Some void -- some darkness.*** My nights were harder, but I was cheered by my progress, and I kept going.

I generally read about 400 or 450 words of fiction per minute. At over 200,000 words, House of Leaves should demand about 8 hours of reading. But something about the twists and turns of that labyrinth tends to stretch time and absorb hours. You'll have to open a copy for yourself to appreciate the way the author uses incredibly creative formatting to tell his story. Swirling text to spin and disorient. Lonely, spread-out text to quicken the pace. Blacked-out and ~~struck~~ text to hide or reveal meaning. Colored text to...well what the hell is the deal with the colors? Codes, ciphers, and acrostics. And the notes: Pages and pages of footnotes and end notes. Some of the notes reference other notes. Some send the reader leaping forward or backward in the book. Some refer to nothing that I could find.**** I was lost among those leaves for months.

Until I suddenly found myself safely on the other side. The house just dissolved away and I was done. And though I've read every word between those too-small covers, I know I have missed most of the codes and surprises lurking in those ashy hallways. Yet somehow I feel like the answers are already within me. I feel the story swirling in my mind realigning itself with a tremendous roar. It's different every time I turn around.‡

*I was naive.

**The pages of this book were a little bit bigger than they should have been.

***But how can darkness have claws and teeth?

****Missing - Ed.

†The Navidson Record. Dir. Will Navidson. Miramax, 1993. Film.

‡And I feel compelled to return.

10 Tiny Reviews of the Best Novels of the Last 20 Years

2011-08-21T16:51:00.001-06:00

10 novels in 10 weeks.

That was the assignment I gave myself this summer. Although I really enjoy fiction, I normally find myself compelled to spend my time reading what I consider "important" nonfiction like A Brief History of Time and The God Delusion. This summer, though, I promised to branch out a bit and catch up on some of the great novels out there. Still not wishing to waste my effort (or my summer) on unimportant text, I sought out a list of worthwhile and timely tomes, and I found a jumping-off point in ipresnel's list, Top 10 Best Novels of the Last 20 Years.

Although it took me more than the time-frame I had originally budgeted, I finished ten novels this summer and I have two still simmering for two very different reasons. So here they are; my 10 tiny reviews:

American Psycho: A disturbingly likable whirlwind with a not so subtle subtext of hatred toward conspicuous consumption.
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao: A sad story - made more so by the ease with which the reader relates to the protagonist - that broke the binding of my Spanish-to-English dictionary.
The Fountainhead: Everything that’s been said is true; it’s pretentious and powerful and ultimately uplifting.
Fight Club: Delicious and easy to swallow whole, yet subversive and satisfying.
Music for Torching: A story of limited scope with unlimited reach and an ending that will choke the life out of you.
The Road: The only book that made me cry this summer; and for that reason, perhaps my favorite.
The Rules of Attraction: A bore and a waste.
Strong Motion: A plot so bizarre and obscure that it took me half the book to believe it wasn't sarcastic or allegorical, but ultimately a worthwhile surprise.
Tree of Smoke: A 600-page short story which should have been printed in a magazine so I could recycle it more easily.
We Don’t Live Here Anymore: So subtly powerful that this one hits you only in the hours after it’s over.

...and the two I can't review just yet:

Infinite Jest: Only because I haven’t finished it – and may not for a year. It’s an eleven-hundred-page behemoth with hundreds of characters and 400 end-notes which has somehow held my interest for the months it’s taken me to finish the first third.

House of Leaves: I can’t finish it, because I can barely start it. After reading the introduction and only the first paragraphs of the first chapter, I was filled with such a complete sense of utter nameless dread that I had to take a Xanax and get the book out of my house before I could fall asleep with the lights on. Perhaps the most powerful book written, but it’s not for you.

So there you have it: reviews so curt and concise you can't believe I bothered at all. What have I learned from the whole thing? That I still love fiction, but The World Without Us isn't going to read itself.

60 Hours in Singapore

2011-06-01T19:46:00.002-06:00

I recently took the opportunity to tag along with my dad on a business trip to Asia. He was invited to present at the 3rd Algae World Asia* conference in Singapore in his role as Senior Technical Advisor at Origin Oil, Inc, so I took him up on the invitation to book and plan a short trip for us. I work in the travel industry, so it was my pleasure to use all the tricks of the trade to get the best prices on the best flights, and I negotiated an unbelievable deal at a top hotel across the street from the conference. (That reminds me that I should write you guys a post on how to to play the system and get great travel deals. Next time!)

I told my doctor that I had booked fifty hours of flight time in the next week, and she obliged my aerophobia with a benzodiazepine prescription. I packed my smallest carry-on with the lightest of supplies and hopped on a jet from Jackson to Salt Lake to Los Angeles (where I met my dad) to San Fransisco, and then we settled in for the 14-hour flight to Hong Kong.

Singapore Airlines is the World's Most Admired Airline and is in the world's top 30 most admired companies, according to Fortune. Service and amenities arrive intuitively and attentively: hot towels, Givenchy slippers and toiletries, constant food and drink, and individually-controlled media centers with the latest films and shows. The Singapore Girls are as captivating as they are iconic. Every one of them is gorgeous and accommodating and makes one feel like the center of the universe. The menu had options for Chinese, Indian, Thai, and Continental tastes, but they diligently brought me vegetarian treats (as indicated by a "V" sticker discreetly affixed to my headrest early in the flight).

Our 90-minute layover in Hong Kong was a blur of complete cultural isolation. Before I disembarked, a smiling Singapore girl had rubbed a sticker on my chest that read "In Transit," the way one might label and unaccompanied minor. This is a sensible precaution, as even the departures boards in Hong Kong airport are notated in Chinese! Luckily gate numbers are denoted by more familiar Arabic numerals. Dad found familiarity in Starbucks. I perused glass-encased model meal displays at the food court.

The final flight to Singapore was just over three hours. Xanax had made the previous 20 hours tolerable (even jolly), but it gripped me with lasting wisps of stupor. The shuttle to the hotel was piloted by a brave man with a precise understanding of the dimensions of his vehicle, and he slipped and slithered through the merest of gaps in morning traffic to deliver us to the Orchard District. He shouted all the while in the thickest slur of Singlish that "These malls: all mos'spensive. This'a bes'place see the girls." My father and I exchanged glances that meant we'd be coming back to these malls.

As it turns out, each mall is connected to its neighboring malls by skybridge or pedestrian underpass or SMRT train. I suppose a Singaporean could live out much of his life without ever setting foot outside, which is probably by design and due to wet heat of the world outside of the glass and steel. In a way, the mall is the city. Like some mind-bending Mandelbrot fractal, the mall is the city, and the city is the island, and the island is the country. The country of Singapore is a mall -- paved or enclosed from sea to shining sea, and every inch is capable of separating its inhabitants from their money in some way or another.

The stone and concrete of the sidewalks shine like the floors of the malls, and everything you've heard is true: there is no litter. There is no spitting. There is no gum. All these authoritarian rules seem to be self-enforcing, as I never saw one cop. There is janitorial staff seemingly assigned to every cubic inch of the place. Sweeping the leaves, scrubbing the grout, mopping the sidewalks. Yes, mopping. Yes, the sidewalks.

Humanity is omnipresent. The crowd seethes and simmers in the streets and glides and glimmers in the malls. The population on the island is only 5-million, but Singapore is second only to Monaco as the most densely populated country on the planet. Though the crowd’s faces are mostly Asian in ethnicity, the constant murmur is in English of every accent. Chinese, Malaysian, Philippine, North American, European. I asked an exotically beautiful girl what activity can’t be missed in Singapore. Her reply came in a bubblegum-flavored Valley girl lilt: “Like, nothing! Oh my gawd, that’s why I moved to Germany.”

My interpretation of Singaporean culture is a conglomeration of the most agreeable parts of any number of international societies: Asian foods seasoned with French techniques, pop music from Europe and the US – remixed into something purely local, architecture that blends pagodas with skyscrapers. In the central Orchard District, it seems like the shopping centers have an inexhaustible supply of resources. Their wide-open doors flood the streets with deep synth or techno beats and icy, perfumed air.

The grand lobby of the Royal Plaza on Scotts was attended by not less than a dozen alert staff: bellmen, valets, concierges, front desk agents, and three or four persons whose only job seemed to be to greet and assist. All were handsome and groomed to a uniform standard of perfection. All wore a sincere smile that American hoteliers can only dream their staff could emulate.

The room was done in a high-contrast Patrick Bateman modern with dark woods and bright accents. It was spotless. In place of the ubiquitous Gideon’s Bible was a copy of the Koran, though only 15% of the local population is Muslim (43% are Buddhist). Affixed discreetly to the ceiling, in the northwest corner of the room, was a green sticker with the word, “Kiblat.” Kiblat is a transliteration of Qibla, AKA the Kaaba in Mecca; so I knew in which direction to pray.

It was tempting to hit the streets immediately, but we agreed to relax at the rooftop pool first. Though the skies we somewhat overcast, beating equatorial sun still bored through and recharged us after a long travel day.

Feeling refreshed, we set off for ION Orchard at the intersection of Scotts and Orchard. ION attracts the hottest tenants: Burberry, Dior, Dolce & Gabbana, Ermenegildo Zegna, Giorgio Armani, Louis Vuitton, Marc Jacobs, Porsche Design, Prada, Salvatore Ferragamo, Yves Saint Laurent, and many more. These top names attract the richest, most beautiful shoppers from all over Asia.

At the very top of ION was a small grocery store in which we found wonderfully obscure Asian treats. Not just seaweed crackers, but Pocky and the most bizarre and creatively shaped candies. We found chips and sodas with flavor combinations that would never find a market in the US.

We then walked a couple of miles east, intermittently dipping out of the heat and into the air-conditioned storefronts. We weaved our way to a mall filled with high school-aged youths loitering, loafing, flirting, and leering. The mood was all bubblegum with amped up pop music pulsing into the treed courtyard and pink and magenta neon strobes flashing Hello Kitty, Domo-kun, and other cute brands. We slipped into a shop called Old Town Coffee and ordered ramen and something called “white coffee,” which was actually tea flavored like coffee. This was my first ramen not from a blue cellophane packet, and it was amazing: thick, savory, and heavy. The tea was like some futuristic astronaut food that replicated the flavor of coffee while still allowing my palate to realize I was drinking tea. It was so bizarre.

I fell in love twice a minute for the full time I spent in the city. The women were gorgeous – dressed beautifully, smiling flirtatiously. I would find myself drawn into the welcoming, dark gaze of some unbelievable angel; only to have her whisked away by the crowd. I could barely shake the fuzzy feeling of longing before another stunning face would catch my eye and rattle my poor heart all over again. They were exceedingly polite and dreadfully shy. My attempts at conversation and proposals of marriage were seldom met with more than nervous giggles and returned waves.

As the sun set, we decided to people-watch at the Marriot patio. We couldn’t understand why so few tables were occupied, since its location was perfect. A teetotaler for two years, I decided to try a Tiger Beer. It intoxicated me immediately, and we basked pleasantly in the equatorial heat and the icy glow of ION’s LCD screens across the street. When we got the tab, we figured out why the bar was empty: each pint cost $25, US.

We slept like the dead.

The included Breakfast at the Royal Plaza was an enormous affair. There was a line to appease each international palate: American, European, Chinese, Japanese, and Indian. They offered every conceivable preparation of coffee or tea. I tried everything, but I fixated on an Indian dish called Gobi chili. It’s basically a spicy cauliflower dhal, but I can’t find a recipe which precisely replicated the Plaza’s flavor.

After breakfast, we took the mass rapid transit (MRT) south to the financial district. It was the cleanest public transportation system I’ve ever encountered, despite crowds packed with the density of livestock. It cost less than a dollar to cross the whole island.

We emerged in the already sweltering morning sun under the icy blue blades of the towering financial district. Some had scaffolding and cranes and workers hammering at their bases or scrambling at their summits. The overall effect was that the steel and glass had thrust out of the streets only moments before.

Under the sweeping shadow of the new Marina Bay Sands, we traversed the Helix Bridge toward the Singapore Flyer. Dad, an engineer, was transfixed by the design and craftsmanship of both projects.

The heat was bearing down on us by the time we reached Merlion Park, whose namesake has a lion’s torso emerging from a fish tail – a national symbol that embodies the meaning of the city’s name (Lion City) and its nautical history as an entrepôt port. We ducked into the historic Fullerton Hotel for a glass of ice water and a breath of conditioned air.

Along the boat quay were a hundred small seafood shacks – each with colorful posters announcing specials of savory preparations of exotic fishes. Live shellfish of every size, color, and description scuttled and scrambled in their various aquaria.

We went to the Long Bar at the Raffles Hotel. If the Tiger Beer at the Marriott made me dizzy, the Singapore Sling had me pretty buzzed. The noontime temperature had me so thoroughly sweat-soaked that I ducked into the Raffles gift shop and bought a tee shirt and an embroidered handkerchief to mop my forehead.

We returned to the Marina Bay Sands and took the elevator 55 stories up to the Skypark, the world’s largest cantilevered structure and longest infinity pool. It afforded 360-degree views of the city to the north, and of the countless ships awaiting entry into the port to the south. Because of the annual haze caused by the Indonesian rainforest-burning 500 miles to the south, a torrential monsoon downpour erupted without warning from the white sky. It lasted not 15 minutes, but it deposited more water in that time that my hometown sees in a year of rain.

We took the MRT back to the Orchard District and enjoyed the sunset with embargo-free Havana cigars on a popular cruising route where the billionaires ousted mere millionaires by displaying their Italian supercars.

The following morning was my father’s presentation at the Algae World conference, so I entertained myself with a final lap around the district. I was out before the malls were open, but the employees stood at smiling attention at their stations at 9:59.

After one final breakfast of Gobi chili, French pastry, Turkish coffee, and Chinese phoenix rolls; we boarded the MRT for the airport. Airport security on the way out of Singapore was unobtrusive, polite, and almost pleasant. Metal detectors were nowhere to be seen. Then again where could one find a weapon of any kind in perhaps the most tightly controlled first-world country on the planet?

We boarded a glistening new A380 and took our seats in the spacious second floor. My Xanax took hold, and I relished the flight to Tokyo which I recall only as a luxurious blend of space and comfort and beauty.

Customs was a breeze at Narita, and we lunched on ramen and tofu. We bought pounds of Japanese kitsch, including an adorable yukata for my two-year-old son and a pair of kamikaze headbands. Before boarding for LAX, I bought a to-go plate of sashimi and had the best maguro I’ve ever tasted.

Final impressions: I would absolutely recommend Singapore, even if you only have a short time to visit. I would love to return, and I can even picture myself working and living there. I'd just have to plan my schedule around a mid-day shirt-change.

*Click here to read Paul Reep's interview with Algae International Magazine.

SEAL Team 6 Workout

2011-05-08T16:45:00.002-06:00

I've had a lot of traffic since the assassination of Osama bin Laden. The renewed media attention on the warriors of DevGru/SEAL Team 6 has generated a lot of interest in their fitness standards and physical training regimen, and I've paid a lot of attention to their program in previous posts. (See A Warrior Workout, 6 Months of Self-Induced Hell, Hitting New Highs, and I'm Halfway There!)

The workout that these fighting men do just to get prepared for Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training (BUD/S) is more of a commitment than most of us can even imagine. The entry standards for BUD/S are extremely high, but the attrition rate for even the most prepared athletes is 75 to 80% of every class. The recommended workout outlined in the Navy Special Warfare Physical Training Guide is demanding, but completing it is no guarantee of success in the BUD/S program. Even candidates with "Outstanding-High" scores in all 5 components of the Physical Readiness Standard are expected to drop out at a rate of over 30%. For a male between 20 and 29 years old, an Outstanding-High is earned with

101 situps
84 pushups
8:55 1.5-mile run
6:38 500-yard swim

For those of you who want to experience a little slice of hell, I absolutely recommend attempting the Navy Special Warfare training. You can download the guide straight to your Kindle. I'd also recommend learning more about the SEAL ethos by reading SEAL Team Six or Inside SEAL Team Six. Granted you can't put yourself through Hell Week, and nothing can replicate the cold and sleep-deprivation of BUD/S. It's humbling to know that the men who have completed the program did so at their worst -- without enough sleep or food. They don't have the luxury of taking a day off for the flu.

Last year, I did the Navy Training Guide's program for nine weeks before evolving to a more anaerobic program that focused on a 4200-calorie diet and heavy compound lifts. I made huge improvements to my speed and endurance in swimming, running. I also took my lifts to new personal records:

Bench Press: 180 pounds (113% of my bodyweight)
Deadlift: 255 lbs (159% bodyweight)
Squat: 150 lbs (94% bodyweight)

I'm currently doing a hybrid program that I outlined in my post, A Workout for Skinny-Fatties. It's a push/pull split with not nearly as much running and swimming as the Navy program. It's designed for more hypertrophy (muscle-growth), at the expense of strength; but the cardiovascular component is pretty demanding. Depending on your personal goals, I find it to be a good program for summer. I'd love to hear how you've integrated the SEAL workout into your own program.

My Next Book is Available Free of Charge in Installments

2011-03-24T18:39:00.000-06:00

Can you read?

Do you love zombies?

Do you love to read about zombies?

If you answered "Yes" or "Sometimes" to any of the above questions, then you will go positively apeshit for Death Before Disaster, my new novel. This is my second book and my first medical thriller.

DBD will be released, free of charge, in regular installments. You can subscribe to the feed and receive them all by E-mail, or you can come back from time to time and read them at your leisure. They appear here in reverse-chronological order, with the newest entry first. When all the installments have been posted, the book will be made available for download and in print.

In the meantime, enjoy the fictional telling of the true story of a real infection.

Read it now at deathbeforedisaster.blogspot.com.

A Workout for Skinny-Fatties

2011-03-05T22:11:00.004-07:00

Hey, skinny-fatties, get in here! I’ve written your program. That’s the hard part, right? Finding a program that suits your needs? This program is just for those of you who look slim with your clothes on, but appear doughy with your shirts off. If you’re already running Ottermode or level-10 Bearmode, this isn’t for you. My Push/Pull is for skinny-fatties who want to look good with their shirts off. It’s working for me. It’ll work for you. Ready? Go!

1. Keep a log. I can’t stress this enough. Know how much you weigh. Get measurements of the important stuff like your chest, waist, and hips. If you’re insane like I am, maybe keep track of your neck, upper-arm, forearm, upper-leg, and lower-leg circumferences too. Weigh yourself every morning at the same time. Update your other measurements every week or two. Oh, maybe take pics too, so you can visualize your progress.

2. Eat right, sleep well, be smart. We can get into nutrition some other time. Oh hey, now’s probably the best time to tell you that I’m not a doctor or a trainer of any sort. I’m just a nerd who used to be skinny-fat. Point is, I’m no expert, so you’re on your own if taking my advice were to injure your back or give you diabetes. Conversely, if my advice gets you laid, I’ll take credit. Anyway, log your calories. Shut up. Just do it. It’s not hard – just tedious. Once you’ve done it for a while, you’ll have a feel for the nutritional content of the foods you encounter most. You won’t be writing down every snack forever. But for now? Do it.

3. You’ll need some weights. Join a gym if you want, but having weights at home is often a cheaper long-term solution. Cruise the usual second-hand venues, and you’ll be able to find what you need. LOTS of people fail at fitness and sell their setups for paltry sums. I’m partial to dumbbells, because you can’t compensate for your weak arm with help from your strong arm; but a barbell will be important once you get stronger. Weights need not be fancy, but you’ll need some combination that allows you to add 2.5 pounds per side per workout. A doorway chin bar is a must. You can wait on a bench and a squat rack, but you’ll need both eventually.

4. Guess what! You don’t need cardio. It can’t really hurt, aside from wiping you out and making you too tired to get your lifting workouts in. If you’re more fat than skinny, go ahead and do some swimming, running, or biking (in that order) to burn a few hundred extra calories each week. Otherwise, let’s focus on increasing lean mass, which brings us to…

5. My Push/Pull! At first, you’ll be lifting three days/week, so workout on whatever days works for your work schedule – you have a job, right? (That’s actually Step One to getting laid.) If you can do it in the morning, awesome. You’ll feel rad all day. If you have to do it after work, fine, but not too close to bedtime. You’ll release all kinds of hormones that will make you feel really Alpha, but not very sleepy. Anyway, we’ll call push day “workout A,” and pull day will be “workout B.” So your two-week cycle will look like this: xAxBxAx, xBxAxBx. That gives you plenty of time between workouts for recovery. “X” days are days you can do some light cardio or other active recovery. Or maybe just play Modern Warfare.

6. If you are a beginner, e.g. you’ve been lifting less than a year OR you can’t squat 1.5 times your bodyweight (ass-to-grass), you’ll be doing four sets of 12 repetitions of every exercise at 60% of your one-rep. max. If you’re talking shit to some gymbro, just say, “Skyler has me on a three-day push/pull split. I’m doing 4x12s at 60%1RM.” You can Google how to calculate your 1RM, or you can just start with five pounds in each hand and add weight every workout until you can’t. Don’t rush this shit, kid. Start light, and you won’t get hurt. What’s your hurry? Yeah, yeah, yeah: getting laid, but you’ve gone without that for this long. What’s another six months?

7. If you’ve been lifting for over a year AND you can squat 1.5 times your bodyweight, you’ll be doing four sets of eight reps at 80%1RM. Pro Tip: Studies show that advanced lifters only need to work each muscle-group twice per week for hypertrophy and hyperplasia. The benefits of a third day of training for you will be negligible. You will be better suited to lifting heavy and recovering right. But let’s be reasonable. If you’re an advanced lifter, you’re not even reading this. I don’t know why I wrote it.

8. PUSH DAY: All right, childrenkids. If you’ve never performed these lifts before, be careful. Start LIGHT. Watch tutorials online. Ask a trainer. Anyway, you’re going to be doing 4 sets of 12 reps of each of the following. Feel free to do supersets, if you’re comfortable with them. It will probably cut down your total workout time. The workout is:

q SQUAT, of course, for dem Quads. This baby also engages your Gluteus Maximus, Adductor Magnus, Soleus, Hamstrings, Gastrocnemius, Erector Spinae, Rectus Abdominis, and Obliques. Go as deep as you can. With proper form and gradual weight-progression, you probably wont make your knees explode like most people think.

q BENCH PRESS, for doze Pecs. You’ll also be using your Anterior Deltoids, your Triceps Brachii, and the short head of your Biceps Brachii.

q INCLINE BENCH PRESS, for moar Pecs. More delts, bis, and tris too.

q MILITARY PRESS, for shoulders. It also hits your pecs, tris, and traps as well as fun stuff like the inferior digitations of your Serratus Anterior and your Levator Scapulae.

q CALF RAISE, ‘cause you don’t want to look like a barrel balanced on pool cues.

q SKULL CRUSHER, because you feel as Alpha when you say it as when you do it. The Triceps Brachii contributes the most mass to your upper arms, so these will fill out your tees.

q BONUS ROUND!!! Still have energy to burn? Throw in these extra lifts to make your PUSH DAY godlike. LUNGE then maybe something for the Hip Adductors. If you’re still ready for more after this, I salute you. Now stretch, maybe foam-roll, get a bath, some protein and some sleep, and I’ll see you the day after tomorrow for…

9. PULL DAY. Same drill; 4x12 of:

q PULL-UP. Skinny-fatties are lucky, because we can usually do these naturally. If you can’t do one, you’ll have to settle for the lat pull-down machine which is so Beta that I don’t even want to talk about it. The pull-up is the best thing to get the Latissimus Dorsi, but it also shreds not less than nine synergistic muscles and uses the Triceps as a dynamic stabilizer. Do all 48 of these, even if it takes 48 sets of 1.

q STRAIGHT-LEG DEADLIFT is actually about the only way to effectively target the Hamstrings without machines. You can do normal deadlifts, if you’re comfortable with them.

q BENT-OVER ROW. I usually superset these with my DLs, because I’m already down there. This lift engages 19 muscles in your back and arms.

q CURLZ, for the girls. You know!

q UPRIGHT ROW. This lift works the lateral part of your deltoids, which will give you more fullness when viewed from the front. This lift is a chore after all you’ve already done on PULL DAY. Take breaks; get through it.

q BONUS ROUND!!! Damn, boy! Git sum! Try BRIDGE ABDUCTION, HANGING LEG RAISE, SHRUG, CRUNCHES. Stretch, bath, protein, rest. You know the drill now.

10. And that’s it. Rinse and repeat. Add weight every workout. Get to a point where you can’t add weight? Add reps. If you can’t do 12 reps of 45lbs, do 15 reps of 40lbs. Then try for 45 next time. I was going to get into supplements and shakes, but that will have to come some other time. I’m spent. Good luck, gents.

Transformation for the New Year

2010-12-31T17:12:00.002-07:00

In the first half of this year, I shifted into overdrive. I was eating a clean, vegetarian diet and lifting heavy. I put on over 20 pounds and added 3 inches to my chest, 2 inches to my hips, and an inch to my upper-arms.

In June I cut my calories down from 4200/day, and I dropped lifting for more swimming and running. I lost 15 of the 20 pounds gained, and -- though I was pretty cut for summer -- I am pretty much exactly where I began last year.

For my new year's resolution, I am ending 3 years as a vegetarian and moving toward an ethical pescatarian diet (i.e. eating only sustainable seafood). I feel like this will allow me to get a better diversity of fats and proteins. I'll also be able find something to eat in situations where I have previously gone without.

The goal for this year is to put on 30 pounds and keep them. What are your goals for the new year?

Down-Shifting for Summer

2010-06-11T10:10:00.000-06:00

I've gained over 15 pounds! By lifting every other day and drinking a gallon of whole milk every day (yuck!), I have increased my mass by 10%! About eight of those pounds are fat, five are water, and two are muscle. My squat, bench press, and overhead press are all up to 100 pounds, and I'm kind of stalled until I buy more weights.

I was planning to put on another five pounds before going into cutting phase; but the weather is finally nice enough to run, I'm sick of milk, and I'm out of weight plates. I'm going to roll back into the Navy Special Warfare physical training program -- probably doing Weeks Eight and Nine over again.

Quitting the gallon of milk a day will pretty much halve my intake. That -- combined with miles of running and swimming -- should pull my body-fat back down from 17% without decreasing too much of my new muscle mass.

I have learned a lot about what is possible with discipline and drive. I have always been a "hardgainer." I had no idea I could gain three pounds per week with so little extra effort. I started the GOMAD and StrongLifts 5x5 programs in the wrong season. They would make a great Fall/Winter bulking combo when paired with something like the SEAL program for Spring/Summer cutting. I may try for a 30-pound gain over the winter!

But for now it's time to lighten up and get fast and lean. I have a few races this summer, and it's beach season, so let's get cut!

I'm Halfway There!

2010-05-16T11:09:00.000-06:00

After nine weeks on the U.S. Navy Special Warfare physical training program, I gained only three pounds. Although I made enormous improvements to my speed, strength, and endurance in swimming, running, and lifting; my physique went practically unchanged. The Navy's six-days-per-week schedule was designed to wring the most performance out of my body, as it currently existed. I wanted to change my body first, and then improve the performance of my new self.

So for my tenth and eleventh weeks of training, I have changed tacks entirely. I am eating much more and exercising much less. I'm eating 4200 calories each day. This includes 2300 calories from the Gallon of Milk a Day (GOMAD) plan. I'm only lifting three days per week, and I'm only doing four lifts: squat, bench press, overhead press, and deadlift.

The results? In the last two weeks, I have gained 7.5 pounds -- 1.2 of muscle, 3.0 of fat, 3.2 of water, and (oddly) 0.1 of bone! Overall, I have put on 10.5 pounds and increased my BMI by 1.4 points. How does this compare with my goals?

WEIGHT (lbs):

Origional: 155

Current: 165.5 (10.5 increase)

Goal: 176 (10.5 left)

BMI:

Origional: 21.1

Current: 22.5 (1.4 increase)

Goal: 23.6 (1.1 left)

Eating Much More:

I find the enormous diet to be the hardest part. GOMAD has been around for decades, and it has remained unchanged in weighlifting circles because it works. It's an easy, inexpensive way to heap nutritious calories on top of a healthy diet. A gallon of whole milk gives the body saturated fat to boost testosterone, protein to build muscles, and dextrose to spike insulin and move protein into the muscle fibers. Whole milk seems to be a nearly perfect food for weight gain.

It's not all fun and games. Dairy is hard on the the gut and the skin -- especially in the first week, and especially if one is coming from a vegetarian diet that previously contained virtually no dairy. But the body is a miraculous improviser, and within a week I felt like myself again. I have personal problems with the dairy industry and the consumption of milk in adults; but I can deal with a temporary (one/two-month) GOMAD program in order to get the results I seek.

For the dietitians out there; my 4200-calorie diet consists of 470g of carbohydrate, 180g of protein, and 180g of fat. My fat, cholesterol, sodium, and calcium intakes are too high; and my fiber intake is too low. However, I'm getting perfect daily values on virtually all vitamins and minerals, and the short-term nature of my current imbalances doesn't concern me or my physician.

Exercising Much Less:

Instead of lifting and running and/or swimming every day of the week, as the pre-BUD/S program prescribes, I am following the StrongLifts 5x5 program. This method uses heavy, compound lifts and plenty of rest and recovery. The incremental increases in weight lifted with each workout are designed to improve strength and size fast. How does it work?

Monday: Squat, bench press, and deadlift 45 pounds five sets of five repetitions.
Tuesday: Nap.
Wednesday: Squat, overhead press, and deadlift 50 pounds five sets of five repetitions.
Thursday: Watch TV.
Friday: Squat, bench press, and deadlift 55 pounds five sets of five repetitions.
Saturday and Sunday: Read a book.

I'm obviously oversimplifying things. There are optional push-ups, chin-ups, and core work. You can do some light active recovery on your rest days (I'm still addicted to the pool). Otherwise it's a very cheap, simple program with low risk of injury and rapid rewards in size and strength. I absolutely recommend you download Mehdi's free StrongLifts 5x5 eBook.

Going Mad and Lifting Strong

2010-05-01T19:55:00.000-06:00

For my tenth week of training, I made some adjustments to my program in order to achieve my goals a bit faster. I feel that the Navy Specwar program is designed primarily for improvements in endurance. Of lower priority are speed and strength. Off the radar are weight-gain and body composition. I initially chose the SEAL program, because I knew it would be the toughest in the world. I am getting harder, better, faster, stronger; but my body hasn't changed that much. After ten weeks, I have only gained 4 pounds.

The more I read, the more convinced I become that the six-day-per-week training schedule just isn't offering my body enough recovery time to grow. It seems counterintuitive, but to grow more, I may have to work out less.

So, in accordance with the famous Stronglifts 5x5 program, I've begun lifting only three days a week, and I'm temporarily pushing swimming and running to the back burner. Stronglifts emphasizes compound barbell lifts like the squat and the deadlift -- lifts I admit I have always eschewed to complete endless vanity curls. I've also boosted my daily calorie intake over 5000 by beginning the Gallon of Milk a Day (GOMAD) program. I should begin to put on weight at a much faster rate after these two adjustments.

The Two-Month Mark: Progress Report

2010-04-11T09:12:00.002-06:00

Today marks the end of my eighth week of the 26-week U.S. Navy Special Warfare physical training program. This thing is no joke! The tough six-days-per-week training schedule is taking its toll. I have been sick for two of the eight weeks and suffered a minor ear infection, probably due to the combined effects of a suppressed immune system and spending so much time in the local swimming pool. The addition of silicone earplugs to my pool days has increased my comfort.

I'm following the Navy SEALs' Official Training Guide with swimming replacing all runs until the ice melts from the Wyoming roads, so Week Eight has included:

3.9 miles of swimming broken into two 1700-yard long, slow distance swims, two, 18-minute continuous, high-intensity swims, and two 7-interval sprint swims,
Two upper-body and two lower-body weight training sessions,
Four core conditioning sessions and four push-/pull-/sit-up sessions.

I am eating constantly in order to ensure a calorie surplus, and I'm averaging a little over 3500 calories per day. With supplementation, I'm able to get an average of 160 grams of protein, even though I'm vegetarian.

I have been getting lots of feedback and advice from people about this program. Many take issue with the lack of recovery-time. Others are worried about my diet. Some think that doing cardio and resistance training at the same time is counterproductive. Most of the naysayers have been armchair experts, but some valid points have been made. Here's what I'm noticing:

My functional goals and my aesthetic goals may be mutually exclusive. Although I am becoming faster and stronger in many ways, I am doing so with remarkably little change to my body composition. I gained weight rapidly at first (up to 4.6 pounds), but I have dropped back to a net gain of only 2.6. My bicep, chest, and waist measurements have all increased slightly, but not at all in proportion to the improvements to my performance. My body fat percentage is holding steady at 14.

I am guessing that at the end of these six months, I will be at or near my functional goals (swim/run times and calisthenic rep counts); but I may not reach my aesthetic goals (24 pounds in weight gain). I am OK with this. The Navy program I am using is designed to improve a candidate's odds of succeeding at BUD/S, not necessarily to improve his physique.

As always, I welcome your comments, feedback, questions, and suggestions. I hope your spring training is coming along well too.

Raising the Bar

2010-04-08T09:23:00.000-06:00

The Navy recently updated its official SEAL/SWCC website to include a PST calculator with which prospective applicants can measure their fitness level against a successful Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL class. Entering one's personal best scores on five measures of fitness yields percentile-rankings on each challenge as well as a polite summary on how you'd probably do (statistically speaking) at BUD/S.

After entering my personal scores, the calculator informed me that my "PST score meets the requirements for BUD/S..." but that I had plenty of work to do before I'd be at all competitive. In a class of 100, I would rank 4th on the swim! But I'd come in 91st on the run. This is no real surprise to me, as there's still snow on the ground in Wyoming, and all of my run workouts have thus far been replaced by a swim. On sit-ups, chin-ups, and push-ups; I came in 18th, 24th, and 86th, respectively.

From this new information, I have determined two things:

I am adjusting my final fitness goals to rank 1st on all five measures of fitness at BUD/S. These standards are a shade more challenging than my origial goal of Outstanding-High score on the Navy physical readiness standard.
My weakest events are the run and push-ups.

My new goals are:

500yd Swim in 7:33 (currently 8:20, 0:47 slow)
108 Push-Ups in 2:00 (currently 67, 41 short)
103 Sit-Ups in 2:00 (currently 85, 18 short)
26 Chin-Ups (currently 17, 9 short)
1.5mi Run in 8:32 (currently 11:54, 3:22 slow)

Hitting New Highs

2010-03-20T10:56:00.000-06:00

I've completed my fifth week of the Navy Special Warfare Physical Training program, and I have put on 5.4 pounds. Changes to my physical appearance have been subtle, but I do have some measurable improvements in speed, strength, and endurance. Here is how I am progressing toward my goals, as defined by the Navy Physical Readiness Standard for males 25-29 years old:

Goal: 101 sit-ups with no rest
Current: 85 (Excellent-Low) a 55% increase

Starting: 55 (Good-Low)
Goal: 84 push-ups with no rest
Current: 67 (Excellent-Low) a 37% increase
Starting: 49 (Good-Low)
Goal: 1.5-mile run in 8:55
Current: 11:54 (Good-High) I haven't been running.
Starting/Previous: 11:54 (Good-High)
Goal: 500-yard swim in 6:38
Current: 8:20 (Excellent-Medium) a 15% improvement
Starting: 9:49 (Good-Medium)

Needless to say, I'm feeling good. I am gaining weight at a safe rate and making improvements where I had hoped. I'll be on the road for Week Six, so I may have to be creative to get everything in, but I won't be taking a break.

Staying On Track

2010-03-14T11:16:00.001-06:00

I think we all have a natural tendency to put too much stock in individual data-points. Blood-pressure, for instance, varies widely throughout the day; and doctors know that the best measure of a patient's true blood-pressure is an average of several readings over time. The same is true of our weight. It changes throughout the day with hydration and meals. Yet when we step on the scale or slip into the b.p. cuff, it's hard to remember that the stats displayed are momentary snapshots -- and very possibly outliers!

Since my scale is accurate to 1/10th of a pound, I am tempted to heed even the minutes of changes. It is pivotal for me to keep precise logs of each reading and then put them into perspective by averaging them. A running seven-day average tends to iron the menial bumps out of an otherwise jagged line-graph. Then I use the seven-day averages to calculate 28-day changes. The difference is that if I were only looking at today's weight and comparing it to my start weight, those two data-points would have no context. My weight can vary by five pounds in just a few days. Monitoring the 28-day change to my 7-day average gives me a much more accurate understanding of any change to my weight and the other stats I'm measuring and tracking.

It's with this level of accuracy that I am able to report that I feel that I am on track to reach my goal of gaining 24 pounds in 26 weeks. I am wrapping up Week 4 of the Navy Special Warfare Physical Training program, and I've gained 3.3 pounds. Actually, today I am six pounds heavier than my starting weight, but 3.3 is reflected in my 7-day average. Because I am using a body composition scale, I know exactly what is making up that weight.

1.6 pounds of fat, attributed to my 3,400-calorie diet,
1.3 pounds of water, caused by extra water-retention associated with creatine, and
0.4 pounds of muscle, from all this damn lifting!

I was extremely tired this week, and I fear that I am over-training. My normal routine allows one day of rest between each workout, but this program gives me only one day of rest per week. I think it will be important for me to get more sleep as I move forward, perhaps upping it to nine hours to ensure my body has the time to rebuild itself from the daily destruction I am raining down upon it. Since I awaken at 5:15 in the morning for work, nine hours of sleep implies a ridiculous bed-time. We'll see.

How to Gain 25 Pounds

2010-02-28T11:12:00.000-07:00

My dad expressed some concern about the aggressiveness of my dietary changes and exercise program, so I'm going to attempt to allay those fears with the specifics of my intake and how it is affecting my body. My goal is to put on 24 pounds of lean mass to increase my body mass index from 21 to 24 over the course of 26 weeks to reach new levels in personal health and fitness. Both BMIs are considered normal or healthy for my height by the CDC and the NHLBI. My intended rate of change is also consistent with the one-pound-per-week guideline accepted by the Mayo Clinic. I am keeping meticulous records of all of the following:

Diet - Calories and nutrition (daily) using Calorie Count
Exercise - Sets, reps, weight, time, and heart-rate (daily) using Runner's World training log
Body Composition - Weight, fat, water, muscle, and bone (daily) using HoMedics scale
Body Measurements - Arm, chest, waist, and hip circumference (weekly)
Blood Chemistry - 52-variable blood panel (quarterly)

What I'm Eating:

Breakfast (1400 cals): High-calorie shake plus a multivitamin and two fish oil capsules:

2 cups of grape juice
A handful of frozen berries
4 scoops of Ultimate Nutrition Muscle Juice 2544 (weight gainer)
1 scoop of Ultimate Nutrition Horse Power (nitric oxide booster)
1 Emergen-C

Lunch (≈500 cals): Normally an eggplant sandwich or veggie burger

Post-workout shake (560 cals):

2 cups of grape juice
A handful of frozen berries
2 scoops of Optimum Nutrition Whey Protein
1 scoop of Ultimate Nutrition Horse Power (nitric oxide booster)

Dinner (≈800 cals): Pasta, eggs, or legumes. I listen to my body and satisfy all cravings for dinner.

I'm eating an average of 3300 calories each day.

Fat - 28.4% (83 grams)

Protein - 18.6% (121 grams)

Carbohydrates - 53% (346 grams)

Alcohol - 0% (0 grams)

Other - 0% (0 grams)

Daily Calorie Intake - 3,253 cals

Daily Sodium Intake - 3,512 mg

Daily Sugar Intake - 235 grams

Daily Cholesterol Intake - 419 mg

Daily Saturated Fat Intake - 32 grams

Daily Fiber Intake - 30 grams

My carbohydrate intake is higher now than usual, because I need the energy to get through my daily workouts. Ideally, I will level off my intakes at 40/30/30%. Also, although 121 grams is more protein than most people eat, I am falling short of the bodybuilding guideline of 1 gram of protein per pound of lean body mass per day. I should be eating about 135 grams to feed muscle growth.

What I'm Doing:

I'm on Week 3 of the 26-week US Navy Special Warfare Physical Training Guide which I detailed in my Warrior Workout post. On six days per week I'm doing some combination of aerobic and anaerobic exercise that burns between 300 and 600 calories.

How I'm Changing:

I began my new plan at a weight of 155 pounds with 13.5% body fat (≈21 pounds) and 23% skeletal muscle (≈36 pounds). After two weeks on the program, I weigh 157 pounds with 14.1% body fat (≈22 pounds) and 22.8% muscle (≈36 pounds). That's a 2-pound increase comprised mostly of fat. Ideally, I will begin increasing muscle and decreasing fat stores, but that may take a few more weeks.

My blood chemistry is good.

By biceps are 0.4" bigger, and my chest is 1.5" bigger. I attribute these gains to water-retention related to my creatine intake in the form of the Horse Power supplement. Actual muscle-growth would be revealed by my body composition measurements, which it is not.

Different Strokes

2010-02-21T11:14:00.002-07:00

On days that require a long, slow distance swim, I've been working on the combat sidestroke. It's a stroke I was never taught in my youth, and my lifeguard and swim team friends aren't familiar with it either. It's a bizarre combination of traditional side, breast, and crawl strokes said to have been perfected by the SEALS. Although the synchronization of its choreography takes quite a bit of getting used to, it ends up feeling extremely efficient and relaxed. I feel less tired using the CSS than when using breaststroke, which is widely considered the best endurance stroke. Other benefits of the CSS include:

Efficiency and energy conservation,
Low-profile with minimal wake or sound,
The option to use fins,
The ability to drag equipment or a body.

If you'd like to try the CSS next time you are in the pool, have a look at this instructional video, created by the U.S. Navy.

On Day Two of Week Two, I really didn't feel like getting in the pool, but I did my 15-minute continuous high-intensity swim anyway (825-yard crawl). By morning, I definitely had a fully-developed chest cold. I am sure it has something to do with intense training, intense diet, and immersion in cold water of questionable cleanliness. I've read that officer candidates at OCS should just expect to get sick. They can also expect to be forced to work out no matter what. I've kept up the core and lifting portions of my plan, but I'm staying out of the pool until I'm well.

And according to my body composition scale, my 4,000 calorie-diet has been paying off -- kind of. I gained a pound of fat this week. The trick will be to see if I can begin gaining muscle and losing fat.

6 Months of Self-Induced Hell

2010-02-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

And we're off! After a 7-day break from working out to go see my son for his first birthday, I'm back to the grindstone. Well, I'm onto a bigger, coarser grindstone. The 26-week US Navy Special Warfare Physical Training Guide was outlined in my last post, and it's remarkably tough. It is shaped by running, swimming, lifting, calisthenic, and core workouts is such a dizzying mix as to keep things interesting for my body and my mind. Until the snow melts, I'm replacing the runs with their swimming counterparts. So what did the first few days look like?

Day One:

Long, slow swim: 1,000 yards mixed (31 min)

Upper-body lifting: Overhead press, lateral raise, bench press, row, curl, tricep extensions (2x12 @ 60 lbs)

Core work: Bridge, plank, side plank, bird dog, superman, wiper (2x)
Throw up (2x)

Day Two:
Continuous high-intensity swim: 750 yards mixed (15 min)
Lower-body lifting: Lunge, squat, calf-raise (2x12 @60 lbs)
Push-/Sit-/Pull-ups: Push-ups (4x20), sit-ups (4x15), pull-ups (3x10)
Throw up (1x)

As you can see, I only threw up once on Day Two, which is a marked improvement over Day One. I'm trying to convince myself that my body is just adjusting to the shock of this much activity. I'm also reminding myself that I have it easy, because I don't have a drill instructor screaming at me to finish each set. Whatever doubts I may have had about the intensity of this program are gone now. I know I'm in for six months of hell. I also know that if I can complete it, my body will have to change drastically. I hope the promise of being healthier than ever before can get me through the pain (and the puking).

A Warrior Workout

2010-01-31T09:34:00.003-07:00

I have just completed Steve Speirs' 100 Push-up and 200 Sit-up* programs, but I was frustrated to find that my maxes on these exercises are not yet where the programs promised. I began on Week Three, because of how I did on my initial tests. I did the push-up and sit-up workouts concurrently, and took virtually no days of rest; so perhaps I just overtrained and will do better on subsequent attempts.

Still the completion of these programs, along with the diet and exercise programs described in my last post have boosted my scores on the relevant metrics.

101 sit-ups with no rest

Previous: 55 (Good-Low**)

Current: 75 (Good-High)

84 push-ups with no rest

Previous: 49 (Good-Low)

Current: 60 (Good-High)

1.5-mile run in 8:55

Previous: 11:54 (Good-High)

Current: 11:54 (Good-High) I haven't been running.

500-yard swim in 6:38

Previous: 9:49 (Good-Medium)

Current: 8:56 (Excellent-Low)

In order to avoid a plateau, I'll be switching over to the 26-week US Navy Special Warfare Physical Training Guide as listed on the SEAL and SWCC Official Site. This guide outlines the recommended training for sailors to complete before entering the SEAL or SWCC "pipelines." The six days/week schedule includes cardiovascular and strength training components. Running and swimming workouts are carefully laid out in a ladder alternating among steady state, anaerobic threshold, and high-intensity interval training. Lifting, calisthenic, and core work builds in a no nonsense ladder, so that the final week of training looks something like this:

Monday: Run 9.25 miles, upper-body weight-lifting, core work.
Tuesday: Swim two 20-minute continuous high-intensity sets, lower-body weight-lifting, push/pull/sit-up work.
Wednesday: Run ten 1/4-mile intervals, core work, push/pull/sit-up work.
Thursday: Swim 3,500 yards, core work, push/pull/sit-up work.
Friday: Run two 20-minute continuous high-intensity sets, upper-body weight-lifting, core work.
Saturday: Swim ten 100-yard intervals, lower-body weight-lifting, push/pull/sit-up work.

It looks terrifying to me right now, but I really want to attack my fitness. Anyway, wish me luck. And let me know if you're going to be doing it along with me.

*The 200 "Sit-up" workout is actually done with abdominal crunches, but the Navy fitness test requires full range-of-motion sit-ups.

**Physical Readiness Standard for males 25-29 years old.

A Diet's Not Always a "Diet"

2010-01-23T11:24:00.003-07:00

I changed my diet strategy this week from one that will maintain my weight at a BMI of 22 to one that will increase my weight to a BMI of 24.8. I'm hoping to gain most of this weight through muscle-growth. How?

Diet: 3,488 calories/day (40% carbs, 30% proteins, and 30% fats) with 110+ grams of protein. No meat, no alcohol, no processed food.

Exercise:

Mon/Wed/Fri: Calisthenics. I'm doing the 100 Push-up Challenge and the 200 Sit-Up Challenge simultaneously. On Week 5 of Both. Then some chin-ups and burpees until I'm seeing spots.
Tue/Thu/Sat: Circuit Training. A 25-minute routine with my PowerBlock Dumbbell Set that incorporates overhead presses, bench presses, rows, lateral raises, squats, and a wild card or two.
Sunday: Swimming (aka "rest"). 1,000-3,000 yards mixed at a mostly moderate pace with five to ten all-out sprints and a 500-yard crawl for time.

The above is a five-month building program that ends in May, after which I'll be transferring to six days of running/swimming and one day of lifting.

I realize some (most?) of you might be trying to lose weight on the road to health and might think we're on opposite paths. Believe me, eating this much is no walk in the park. When Christian Bale built Patrick Bateman's body for "American Psycho," there weren't enough hours in the day to eat enough. He had to wake up in the middle of the night to eat a chicken breast! I'm trying to get 3500 vegetarian calories, and I'm ill after most meals. Hopefully my stomach will adjust soon.

I've always been skinny (or a "hardgainer," as we prefer to be called); but that doesn't mean I have always been healthy. Quite the contrary. How could that be?

I used to fear P.E. Running? Might as well have asked me if I wanted a side-ache and two lungs full of fire. Swimming? 50 yards before the dry heaves started. Weight-lifting? Sure, how about I demonstrate my weakness to all the fit people in the gym? No thanks.
I used to drink. I liked to have a beer (read: >3 beers) after work. I liked to go out for cocktails with my friends on the weekends. Not only was I not thinking clearly while drunk, but I felt like hell many mornings. Plus I was consuming an extra 3,200 toxic calories each week.
I used to be unaware of my diet. I just ate whatever was around. Junk food, snack food, greasy food, sweet food. Empty, wasted calories.
I used to eat meat. I used to power through steaks and burgers. I loved meat. I didn't realize what it was doing to my gastrointestinal tract and my blood chemistry.

So what's the point? Skinny and healthy aren't synonyms, and my struggle to become healthy may not be the same as yours; but it's a struggle all the same.

Get Moving

2010-01-20T17:11:00.002-07:00

If you have already have read my 5 Keys to Sustained Health, you know I'm a fan of measurable short-term health goals combined with meticulous record-keeping. I have some new fitness goals for 2010. Namely, Outstanding-High score on Navy physical readiness standard. That means:

101 sit-ups with no rest (I can do 55 now, Good-Low)
84 push-ups with no rest (I can do 49 now, Good-Low)
1.5-mile run in 8:55 (current best is 11:54, Good-High)
500-yard swim in 6:38 (current best is 9:49, Good-Medium)

At 26 years old, I'm happy with my weight in the 160s (22 BMI). I don't eat meat, drink, or smoke. I use Calorie Count to measure my fuel-intake and ensure a healthy mix of the three macronutrients. For me, that equates to a 2,200-calorie diet (40% carbs, 30% proteins, and 30% fats) with more than 100 grams of protein every day.

I'm cutting down on my low-level cardio in accordance with training systems like Mark Sisson's Primal Blueprint and Rudy Reyes' Hero Living Program. In place of long runs and distance swims, I'm focusing on compound lifts and all-out sprints.

Here's a pretty neat chart about what your body is asking for when it triggers a craving. I really like Mark Sisson's theory that primal man naturally craves fat, sugar, and salt. Prehistorically, seeking out fats (meat/nuts), sugars (fruits), and salt (vegetables/minerals) was good for us. Now it drives us to candy and snack food. For more, see The Primal Blueprint: Reprogram your genes for effortless weight loss, vibrant health, and boundless energy

Get Lucky in 2010

2010-01-02T10:49:00.004-07:00

2009 was a rough year for many of us. With unemployment hitting scary highs, those of us looking for work have had some discouraging times. I hope articles like these have been of some help:

Lost Your Job? - This article is meant to help readers find the right mindset to grieve the loss of employment an move quickly to solve the problem.
Getting a J-O-B - Takes you back to basics in setting yourself apart from the hordes of qualified people now applying for every open position.
I Will Lose your Résumé - Tells you what puts your résumé right into the garbage and what helps it float to the top of the stack.
Ace Your Next Job Interview - Puts you on the other side of the desk, so that you can polish your thoughts and responses when it comes time to impress.

Employment issues may or may not have affected you directly in the past year, but you may have noticed that the general feeling of the people with whom you interact seems a bit sluggish and downtrodden. We are reminded that our bank accounts have much to do with our happiness, when balances dig lower and lower into our hierarchy of needs. Forget luxuries like self actualization, esteem, and belonging. Many people are struggling with survival and safety -- the very base of the pyramid.

In my upcoming posts, I'll be exploring those actions that can be taken to gird those foundations and get us all to a place where we can rebuild our pyramids

Take Big Risks for Big Rewards

2009-03-31T00:19:00.000-06:00

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain

Some of you might be aware that I recently had a son. It changed my life (just like they say), and I really want to be with him. The problem has been that he lives with his mother 600 miles away.

I'm not a very impulsive person, so leaving my job and quitting my live-in caretaking position were not easy decisions for me to make. I have been told I am downright crazy, especially in these turbulent economic times. I have found neither a new job, nor a place to live in this new city, but the end of this month marks the end of my paychecks. It may be one of the largest leaps of faith I have ever taken.

But I believe that I am doing the right thing. I want to be with my boy. If all my trust in good luck is worth a damn, then this is the ultimate test. What lucky opportunity will come my way?

I'm excited and terrified, but I know that twenty years from now I would be more disappointed by not having made the trip. Wish me luck.

Brush Up on Your Chaos Theory

2009-03-29T10:42:00.004-06:00

You may be familiar with the fatalistic ramblings of Jeff Goldblum's character, Ian Malcolm, in the 1993 film, Jurassic Park. Or perhaps you've pondered the cascading effects of small events as shown in films like The Butterfly Effect or Primer. In mathematics, chaos theory is as sexy as it gets.

As far as I can tell,* chaos theory describes complex, dynamic systems (like climates, populations, economies) which are "sensitively dependent" on initial conditions. Chaos implies that these systems are deterministic -- even predictable, but that their beginning circumstances must be known in infinite detail.

A common model is the Butterfly Effect, which "refers to the idea that a butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere that may ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location. The flapping wing represents a small change in the initial condition of the system, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, the trajectory of the system might have been vastly different. While the butterfly does not cause the tornado, the flap of its wings is an essential part of the initial conditions resulting in a tornado."

So what? What does chaos have to do with me? How does it impact my life and luck? Chaos implies the incredible significance of every moment. Tiny actions and conditions -- things as subtle as the flutter of tiny wings -- can have enormous consequences on the course of events in the future.

Consider the significance of the conditions of your birth. Were you born to a loving family? Were you born into wealth? Were you born in a free country? These simple facts of your life have already been determined, and they have already had countless effects on the way you have lived.

Is it possible that this very moment could hold the same gravity and importance for you? Could you make a choice this instant that would change the very course of your future?

*I fully confess the limited scope of my comprehension of advanced mathematical models. To learn more, see Wikipedia.

Annual Site Stats

2009-03-08T10:06:00.003-06:00

One great thing about running an online company is the fantastic data-collection and reporting available to webmasters. Google Analytics lets me know exactly what you like most (and least!) Thanks for a great year. My most popular sites (by number of visits) were:

You spent the most time at:

The 5 Keys to Sustained Health

2009-02-27T08:01:00.004-07:00

Winter is almost over, and it's time to shake the snow from your branches and start thinking about how you will look (and feel) on the beach. Good health is the foundation of the rest of your life. All the luck, wealth, and fortune in the world will do nothing if you are dead. Good health can be easy and fun and sustainable. Here's how to do it.

Keep a Food Log: We naturally underestimate how much we eat. The only way to know how much you must exercise is to keep an honest record of your consumption. A great site that has a free food log (with thousands of foods already pre-scored) is Calorie Count. Use it. Love it. It's what I used to maintain healthy intake during my 30 Days for 30 Dollars experiment.
Keep an Activity Log: Just as we fib on our intake, we fudge on our exercise. Your Calorie Count account has an activity log with tons of activities, so you can log a 30-minute run (432 calories) or 30 minutes of sex (56 calories). I use the free training log at Runner's World, because it helps me keep track of safe mileage for my body -- and my shoes.
Start with a Short-Term Goal: Whether it's a DVD from an infomercial or (my current favorite) the Navy SEAL pre-BUDS workout, start with a program that has a 30- to 90-day goal. Moving from a sedentary lifestyle to an active one is mentally easier, if you promise yourself a change for a short period in the future. Even marathoners and Olympians don't try to train hard for the rest of their lives! Set an attainable goal. When you reach it, set another.
Quality First, then Quantity: You get out what you put in. If you continue to eat preservatives, colorings, transfats, refined sugars, and chemicals your fitness will quickly plateau. You have seen the food pyramid, now pay attention. Don't be afraid of carbs, just eat good ones. Fruits and veggies are key; and they're so low in calories, you can feast on them! You already know that I've chosen not to eat animal products for five important reasons. My health has never been better. Want to feel an even bigger boost? Drop those vices that you know in your heart are holding you back: drugs, tobacco, alcohol, and even your beloved caffeine.
Don't Tackle it All at Once: Take small steps. Replace an hour of TV with an hour outside. Replace one steak dinner with seared ahi and veggie stir fry. Promise yourself 30 days of sobriety. Convincing your lazy brain to change forever is next to impossible. But showing yourself that something is manageable for a short time can train you to realize it is sustainable.

As always, guys: Good Luck