Live rather than exist

OPOS - A Magical Revolution in the Kitchen

2018-04-13T10:35:00.000+05:30

For those who know me, know that I've never been inclined towards cooking. I can cook just enough to feed myself and my family and given the first chance, I'd gladly pass on any kitchen related work.

Well, the tables have turned. I look forward to cooking and trying new recipes every single meal! To be honest, it's not less than magical for me. And if you'd ask the secret, it's a magical technique - OPOS!!

Just imagine making just about anything, be it butter chicken, biryani, kurma or pulao, in a few minutes! And how? In a pressure cooker!! Yes, you heard it right. Opos is all about cooking food in its own juices while maximizing its nutrients and taste, and all this in a pressure cooker.

OPOS is not about cuisines, vegetarian or non vegetarian food etc, it's about techniques. And the person behind this wonderful concept is Mr Rama Krishnan, or RK Sir as most of us call him. A journey that he started over a decade ago is now a full fledged revolution and we all swear by it.

Here is Sir in his own words! A heartfelt thanks to him for agreeing for this interview.

A decade is a long time! Not many people have the courage to stick to their ideas for so long, and most quit after the first few years of non acceptance. What helped you stay put all these years?

I'm very surprised myself. I am notorious for jumping fields. I guess I realised at the back of my mind that something really nice is shaping up. I would also like to believe this was my destiny! 🙂

What is the biggest challenge you've faced in all these years? (Any such moment where you felt that all that you've invested would yield nothing?)

When feedbacks were totally inconsistent. Some would rave. Others would slam. This had me completely puzzled. Do these techniques work or not? I was not sure.

And the Eureka moment in this long journey?

1. Realisation that themes underlie all cuisines.

2. Realisation that food needs to be pressure cooked in its own juices, at the highest possible heat for the lowest possible time to intensify natural colour, taste, flavour and texture.

Who's the first person who believed in you and Opos?

A small group comprising of Chitra Viswanathan, Varalekshmy Raghavan, Majula Natarajan, Saraswathy Jayaraman, Shymala Srivatsan and a few others.

You've mentioned that it's been the difficulty of trying recipes in cookbooks that made you look for something that any novice could make themself a meal. How did a pressure cooker come in your mind? What made you feel it had the power to change the way food is cooked?

After spending a decade on writing One Page cookbooks, I could see no one was using it. It took a few more years to realise this is because there is no way to translate the recipes into food consistently. It later dawned that for the results to be consistent, the equipment needs to be consistent. And pressure cooker fitted the bill perfectly!

Your determination and focus are inspiring! Who inspires you?

People who suffer for want of food, in the midst of plenty. People who waste enourmous labour, fuel and food to cook up simple dishes.

Who's that one person who always has your back, no matter how crazy the ideas get or how worse the time?

The OPOStars!

It's like the dawn of a new era in cooking with Opos. Did you ever have a premonition that this would happen?

Not consciously. But I guess the subconscious belief was what kept me motivated all along, when I had no followers / no one trying the techniques.

What do you like doing when you aren't trying out new Opos recipes?

Hang out with friends. Read. Travel. I love lazing for days doing absolutely nothing.

How is RK as a person after he takes off the chef's hat at the end of a day?

Difficult. Unpredictable. Unconventional. Easily irritable. 🙂

And one last question - who do you love cooking for (apart from yourself)?

Friends. I do it almost every other day.

If that doesn't excite you as much already, Google OPOS now or better still, check the Youtube Chef videos! You can even buy the "OPOS COOKBOOK - 5 Minute Magic" on Amazon!

To put it simply, I'm addicted to OPOS. It's given me a whole new freedom with such scrumptious food on the table every single day. Whether you're single or married, man or woman, in a nuclear family or a joint one, OPOS is for you. Try it once and you'll be hooked for life. That's an OPOS promise :)

Book Review - Figmented Reality by Zuko

2017-03-06T13:22:00.001+05:30

There are college romances, thrillers, crime episodes and so much more. However, rarely do writers attempt to weave a story around addiction, be it of any kind. The reality remains that there are various kinds of addiction that have gripped the society and more than the addict reaching out for help, people near and around him/her need to keep a close watch on how far the addiction might take the patient.

This story revolves around Siddharth, the things he is addicted to and how this addiction takes over him completely. A guy, who would come across as a regular young college or working person and seemingly harmless actually has a side to his personality that only he's aware of. And while trying to get rid of the addictions, he only delves deeper in its folds further ruining himself and his life. As a reader progresses with the story, they get hints from the writer, subtle and easily overlooked, of what our protagonist is actually going through or suffering from. And slowly as the end approaches, the reality breaks through and pieces together.

The plot is relatively fresher than the other novels flooding the markets currently. This one is more like a psychological thriller once you complete it. In fact, so much that you read in one chapter starts making sense as the next chapter approaches. The characters seem real and kind of those people you meet in your day to day life, nothing different or extraordinary, yet with something brewing inside each of them.

However, the essence of the novel is addiction and the failure to diagnose the extent it may affect someone's life and personality. The writer has done justice to this and the story line brings this out rather beautifully. No threads are left loose and each character blends in with the plot.

Overall, it makes for a good read, fast and refreshing, leaving an imprint in your mind long after you've finished reading it!

Book Review - The Coffee and The Cola by Kapil Mazumdar

2017-02-09T17:13:00.000+05:30

Some books have the ability to convey a lot more than just the plot or story and they do that in a rather implicit manner. As you read along, the story not only involves you but your mind also begins making comparisons between the characters and people you know in real life. The Coffee and the Cola is one such rare book.

The story is that of Rahul and is journey of finding a companion. He meets Radha, a young ambitious girl with a head as well as a few responsibilities on her shoulder, through a matrimonial website. Finding each other compatible, the two begin meeting regularly and gradually decide to marry each other. However, their engagement is delayed for quite a few reasons which creates a rift between them. And in comes Nora, a fun and jovial person, who brings in the colors and vivacity that were missing in Rahul's life. Just as the two are getting along comfortably with each other, Radha makes a comeback and Rahul finds himself in a fix. While not wanting to hurt either, he ends up doing exactly that.

The plot of this novel might sound that of a regular romantic triangle, it is the storytelling that is compelling and the indepth character analysis that pulls you in. Radha portrays the strong and addictive coffee that grown on you with every sip, while Nora is a cola, with its quirk and effervescence that leaves you thrilled and chilled. The way the characters are revealed, layer by layer, you, as the reader, can relate more to them and would even begin drawing inferences from real life people around you. You would even begin categorizing the women around as coffee or cola, depending on your perception and experience with them.

I'd not say that the story is exceptional, but the way of story telling is truly different and not another run-of-the-mill type. It engrosses you from the word go and keeps you hooked till the very end. I read this book in one go within 3 hours and still am connecting dots in the story. For, you see, not every detail is told there, there are plenty that the reader would connect for themselves.

A fun and light read with an amazing narration, it's hard to believe that this is the author's first novel. A perfect debut, it has something for every age group.

Go for it, is my verdict :)

Book Review - The Dawn at Dusk by Sandeep Nayyar

2017-01-16T15:13:00.000+05:30

There are very few who have attempted the genre of combining a bygone era with fiction and even fewer who have been able to hold the fort there. The Dawn at Dusk is one such story which attempts to combine the two and takes the reader to the 8th century when casteism had begun wreaking havoc on the society.

Shatvari is a beautiful brahmin girl who has everything going for her. While training in classical music, she imparts knowledge to a shudra boy, who begins harbouring special feelings for her. However, her alliance is fixed to another brahmin boy who is also her teacher's son. While life flows beautifully, there's a tragic twist that turns her life upside down. Even before she can grapple with what happened, the society conspires against her and throw her into the shamshans where chandaals reside. Thus begins her quest for revenge, a journey in which her son is included, albeit unwillingly.

In a parallel storyline, the Yaduvanshis and the Raghuvanshis are gearing to gain more kingdoms under their control. Their methods include unwarranted attacks as well as deceit. To avenge the wrongs done to his kingdom and people and save them from future attacks, the young Nishaad king Neel goes to the enemy state to know their weak points. However, destiny has other plans and the two kingdoms join hands against the enemies. Meanwhile, there are other characters interwoven in these two parallel stories who eventually come together as the story unfolds towards the climax. The bits and pieces are put together while Shatvari remains devoted to her cause of avenging the wrongs that the society leashed on her and her son.

This is an extremely complex tale of social agitation that brought about unrest among the suppressed. Every character has a unique aspect and contribution to the story, without which the entire puzzle would remain unsolved. The background is deep set in the 8th century and lends more realism to this story. It is the ease and flow of words by the author that make this complex tale interesting and read-worthy.

A tale told well, this is a good read for those looking for something different from the regular romances and love stories. While set in a different era, the stories and its characters keep you engrossed as you turn the pages. Pick it up if you're looking for something different.

Book Review - A KNOTTY AFFAIR by Dhaval Birajdar Jinadatt

2016-12-29T13:08:00.000+05:30

Some stories make you cry, while others make you smile. Some leave you amazed, while others leave you wondering. This story makes you experience it all. There are tears, there are failures, there is love, there is maternal affection and at the end, the story leaves you with a smile.

A Knotty Affair is the story of Viraj and his struggles. His struggles start early on due to his weight and stammer. He tries to fit in and adapt with other classmates, but is ridiculed and laughed at all the time. Left with no friends, his only solace is his mother and her unflinching love and confidence in him. He joins college where his father teaches, strikes friendship with the beautiful and understanding Ruhi and falls in love. However, this little euphoria in his otherwise mundane life is short-lived when he realizes that it's a one sided relation which will not be reciprocated.

A conspiracy shatters the small and cozy family. As they struggle to wade through it, a tragedy seems like the end of everything. Yet, they survive and thereafter starts Viraj's journey of countering his weaknesses and turning a new leaf in his life. He begins his life afresh but a strange turn of events make him stand face-to-face with Ruhi, and thus restarts the chapter of his life he thought was left far behind and forgotten.

A Knotty Affair manifests human emotions beautifully. On one hand, there is a mother who stands by her son, no matter what, and there is a father who loves and wants the best for his child, but is unable to express it in words. Then, there is friendship and then love and commitment and the joy of seeing happiness in the eyes of those you love. This is what makes this story a true winner.

The characters are well-sketched and the background makes them feel like they are people who live next door, those we see in and around every day, but are oblivious to their daily struggles. There is a sense of realism that pervades all through the story and that is precisely this novel's strength. Despite displaying and manifesting so many human emotions, the story is light and breezy. And that's its beauty.

A beautiful tale narrated equally well, this can well be in your next read in your list of something light yet very meaningful.

Book Review- KASHMIR 90 By Vineet Mishra

2016-12-10T10:20:00.001+05:30

With all the news in and around social as well as mainstream media, what happened in Kashmir in 1990 is no longer just a story. Its pain and agony is felt across generations. One can do justice to a story on the subject only if they've gone through it or seen it closely. This novel, named after the subject, reveals more about what happened before and after the tragic year of 1990 and how it affected scores of families for whom Kashmir was their home.

The story is that of a Kashmiri Pandit, Shiv, whose life turns upside down and everything looks bleak after his family is forced to leave Kashmir. The family not only loses their home but also a family member and the pain and trauma they go through is immense. Slowly and steadily, our protagonist regains his foothold after losing out briefly to wrong elements and bad habits. While he works towards his studies and attaining his degree, he also tries to find the lost elements of his life that got left behind in Kashmir, most importantly the girl he loved and longed to be with. The story even covers a bit of the Mumbai riots of 1993.

The two backdrops of this story are intense and the writer manages to reveal the pain and trauma through his pen. The characters are sketched well and grow as the story advances. Though the story does not delve much into what exactly happened in 1990 and the massacre that happened then, it focuses more on how lives were affected and how families lost everything they called their home for generations.

Well written and fast paced, the story will go well with youngsters. If you're looking for a fresh story with real incidents, pick this one and you'll not be disappointed.

Book Review - When Arya Fell Through The Fault by Reenita Malhotra Hora

2016-10-23T16:30:00.001+05:30

What happens when you mix two stories - one an eternal mythology and another with a modern backdrop? Chances are that either will get lost in the merger and eventually the entire plot will collapse. However, there are novels that have been able to weave together two stories parallel to each other and maintain the rhythm successfully.

To say that When Arya Fell Through The Fault meets the milestones laid down by its precedents in the past wouldn't be an exaggeration. The plot brings the mythological epic Ramayana in context with the story of a teenager living in the modern suburbs of California. While trying to make himself acceptable to the bullies in his school amid racial discrimination and utterly rude behaviour, Arya harms himself and his family in more ways than one. Gradually, he loses his reasoning and logic and makes a mistake that costs him and his family rather heavily. Thus begins a journey of self realisation and penance where he sets out to fight the demons, within him and outside.

While the story may seem simple, the plot is complex and interwoven intricately. It's not easy to bring together two stories from entirely differently eras, but the author does a lovely job here. So while you go back a bit to the history lessons, you are able to put your present in it and analyse the situation thereon. To say that the great mythological epics hold the answers to life itself is what this novel sets out to say as well.

The characters are those you meet in your day-to-day life. You might like them or loathe them but they impact you and your actions. Whether you respond to them favourably or react to them in haste and anger is what eventually determines your personality and character. And the book is able to put across this little message in a simple way. A few descriptions might seem lengthy here and there and it does get a little preachy somewhere midway, but the flow isn't lost.

The story remains with you, long after you've read it. As a reader, you begin to analyse your actions and reactions to life events and that's what makes the story successful. The words and tone are reader friendly, making it a light read, yet the message is deep and profound. It's a rare combination to find these two qualities in a book. So yes, this is worth reading :)

Book Review - HER RESURRECTION by Soumyadeep Koley

2016-10-21T18:21:00.000+05:30

What happens when a character from a book grows on you gradually and you begin to feel its pain. You somehow know intuitively how the next turn of events will affect the character you are now almost breathing with. That's exactly how this story wraps around you and fogs your thoughts completely.

Her Resurrection is the story of Maya and the battles she fought trying to fend for herself. The battles were imposed and none of them chosen by her. Yet, she had to live through them while she dies a little every moment. What she clings on to is a rare kind of hope and her zest to keep fighting out every battle thrown at her.

The story engulfs you word by word. The characters slide in smoothly and good or bad, you can feel their presence around. There is no wordplay when introducing new characters and it's their thoughts, deeds and dialog that provide the reader an insight to their personality. As the scenes and the story unfold, you can feel the agony and anger of the protagonist, who fights nail and tooth and survives. The characters seem very real while the background gels in too. The flow of the story is smooth with the turn of events keeping you on the edge.

This story isn't merely about Maya's survival. It's about her never ending battle with the demons present in our society and how she manages to save her soul from them. This is a story that haunts and inspires you at the same time. This one is a must read, if it's a story with an edginess that you're looking for!

Book Review - Once in a Lifetime; Happens Again BY Lovely Kumari & Ashish Kumar Mall

2016-08-15T15:52:00.003+05:30

A teenage romance (if you may call it so), this book is an ideal read for youngsters in high school or early college years.

Ashwin, our young school-going hero is smitten with love at first sight. Thereafter begins his pursuit to gain the attention and consequently the friendship of his love interest. While working towards that, he also gets over several of his own inhibitions. The love story, however, ends even before it begins due to a misunderstanding. To get over all the pain and trauma, he decides to go to another town for a while where he falls in love, all over again. This time, the love story does take off but again ends sordidly, much to the pain of our hero. Amid all this, he has a friend who steadfastly stands by him, assuring and helping him all along. And as he tries to pick the pieces of his broken relationships, he discovers a big secret, revealing how all along his life had been played with and smeared with jealousy and one-sided love.

A typical teenage crush story we all would have either gone through or read and heard about numerable times. The writers have built a story around what one would call a regular teenager's life. While the characters have been briefed well, a few descriptions do seem inspired from a typical Bollywood movie script. The settings are etched out well, though rather lengthy at several places. However, few characters seem out of place due to lack of proper introduction while others have been dealt with a little better.

All in all, this would appeal to young readers and those who like quick reads with no heavy baggage to keep after reading. I'd not say that the story lingers for long in your mind after reading, but it is a good effort nevertheless.

Book Review - THE RIBBON TRAP by Shine Syamaladevi

2016-08-08T23:18:00.001+05:30

The Ribbon Trap is a story of a young and promising girl who becomes a victim of a political conspiracy. As her entire life, as well as her mental wellbeing, is trapped in this intricately woven political ribbon, her fiance stands by her throughout her ordeal and refuses to give up, either on her or life.

The novel begins on a rather slow note, but builds up word by word. The female protagonist, Smita, becomes a victim to a huge political controversy and loses not only her job, but even her reputation as well as af good years of her life. When she regains her strength, both mentally and physically, she ventures to find the culprit and that's how layers of conspiracies are peeled, leaving her astounded and stunned. Amid all this is her fiance who covers and protects her and never leaves her side.

The author has etched each character with authenticity. While the turns are quick and keep you engrossed, there is a good number of surprises thrown in that come in time to time. If one knows Indian bureaucracy and politics well, the story and the setting will be more relatable. With a rather engaging plot, the story moves with adequate pace. While the descriptions are not as good and do not really evoke the required atmosphere, the balance is maintained by ensuring there's no laxity in the twists and turns as every chapter reveals something. On the other hand, there are a few characters that could have been highlighted a bit more and a couple others that needn't have as much space.

The female protagonist in the novel is strong. The twists may be predictable at times, but the climax is dramatic and not what a reader might predict. While the reader may feel for the characters, there is a little void that doesn't allow you to empathise completely with the protagonist. An out and out commercial thriller, what stands out in this story is how our protagonist makes her way in the political arena and confronts those who messed up her life. Breaking the stereotype to an extent, this novel is a good read.

Teaching about Good and Bad Touch & How to say NO!

2016-07-30T15:58:00.000+05:30

We, Prabir and I, were at a store looking at backpacks. While I was busy looking at the designs being shown by a salesman, Prabir was exploring the suitcases and bags kept nearby.

Suddenly, I heard Prabir say 'NO' pretty loudly. I turned towards him and he told me that the uncle was touching his cheeks and so he said 'No'. I immediately asked the salesman not to do it and picked Prabir and made him sit near me. Meanwhile, I also told him that he did a good job saying 'No' to that uncle.

If you ask me, I am a very proud mother since this incident. And I am happy that my son knows that he can say 'No' and that it's alright and that we have his back always.

This incident has also reaffirmed my belief that it is never too soon or early to teach a child about good touch and bad touch. I have always taught him the real names of all his body parts and keep telling him what is good touch and what is not and what he needs to do if anyone touches him where he doesn't like or any other place. We also have a little quiz session time to time where he asks me as to who all can touch or kiss him and I tell him a yes or a no plainly.

Call me paranoid, but I know that I cannot be with my son 24*7 always. I know that he will have to go out and meet new people and not everyone will be good, so to say. And I know that if my son knows how to deal with such situations, I will have to worry a little less probably.

On the other hand, I also do not like complete strangers pulling his cheeks and neither does he. Saying no to them probably sounds rude, but I'd rather be rude than polite at the cost of the comfort of my little one. Better still, I carry him. So, the closer he is to me, lesser chances of strangers walking up to harass him (Yes, I call this harassment! Would an adult like getting their cheeks pulled by a stranger? No. Then why a little child who can barely express their likes and dislikes?)

So, yes, when my son stood up for himself and said "No", all at 2.5 years of age, I was a happy mother. And I know that all those conversations between us, mostly one-sided, have been of use.

So, all parents reading this, teach your little ones about their bodies with the real names. Tell them about good and bad touch and teach them how to say No. Most importantly, respect them for saying it and listen to them.

It is one of the biggest life lessons we need to teach and learn too :)

Book Review - RUKHSAT - The Departure by Sujit Banerjee

2016-07-24T23:39:00.001+05:30

When what would seem like regular mundane details of life are interwoven with fine words, stories come alive. Rukhsat is one such collection of stories. Whether it is the characters portrayed so intricately in each story or the plots, there awaits a surprise in each.

Moreover, many stories are linked together in a beautiful way. It's like reading another perspective of the same story. The tales revolve around life and death, love and loss, and friendship and jealousy. One story would take you to a point in time in the life of the respective character and then another will tell the same tale, albeit from the perspective of another character from the previous story.

Every story is told in a mystical and yet evocative manner, which would leave the readers looking for more. Whether it is Varun, Lotika, Manu, Siraj or Zayan, every character grows on you. They don't seem to be from another world, but someone living next door, people we see and may be acknowledge every day, and yet wouldn't expect that they'd have a story to tell.

Rukhsat leaves you looking for answers as you dwell deeper in the messages it conveys in an ever so subtle manner. It makes you think and introspect. In one word, it's unputdownable!

You're the Best Mom!

2016-07-02T14:45:00.001+05:30

Why do we compare? Who do we compare with? What are the standards? Who set those standards?

No, there's so definite definition to being a mother. If there is any, that's being the best mother. Because all mothers are the best. None can be any less. We all fight for our children and love them to bits.

Can love be measured? No.
Can our struggles be less than someone else's? No.

Each one loves. Each one fights.

Then why put yourself up against standards that don't exist? Why think that what you've done may not be enough? You're doing the best you can. And only you know the best for your child.

So, sit back. Take a break from judging yourself. Look at the awesome marvels you've created. Aren't they just perfect? Yes. Because you created them. Because you're the best. The best mother for your children.

Working Parents' Dilemma - Who to Leave The Little One with?

2016-06-29T16:42:00.001+05:30

When I quit my full time job, over four year ago, everyone had some advice for me. No, no baby was on the cards then and I had done it simply because I felt it was time to test new waters and tread forbidden paths. Of course, none of that was possible without the support of my husband, who stood by my decision.

Meanwhile, I completed another Post Graduation course and started a little venture in writing. At any given day, I was working at least 10-12 hours. Work flourished and time flew. Almost 2 years later, we were blessed with Prabir. However, I continued working. I have changed gears since and started another retail venture too. Yet, my primary responsibility is my son, with whom I stay 24x7.

While, I have the luxury to stay at home, look after my son and work as well, many others do not. After a stipulated maternity break, most have to join back work. You are ridden with fear, guilt and may be remorse. Yet, quitting your job may not be an option for various reasons.

To say that working mothers are not involved with their children completely would be unfair. I have seen mothers, and fathers, keeping a check on their children while at work. They ensure their children eat and sleep on time and even take leaves to be with them during exams etc.

With nuclear families on the rise, the most worrisome issue that remains is who to leave the child with, when you have to join back. A friend had asked me to venture on this topic a couple of months back. And after a lot of reading and discussions with friends in different situations, here is what I could come up with.

The options are immense:

With either grandparent(s)
At home, with a full time maid/nanny
Enrol in a creche or daycare

Each one comes with their pros and cons.

With grandparents

PROS:

Your child is in loving and caring hands.
You can be rest assured they are fed well and a routine is followed.
This also ensures a lot of quality time as children learn from their grandparents.
It is financially beneficial too.

CONS

Generation gap
Difference in parenting styles may lead to stress and conflict.
Over-caring attitude may lead to discipline issues later.
The child may be plonked in front of the TV, longer that you'd like.
They may not have the energy and stamina to take care of a growing toddler.

What you can do:

Have an open discussion before you embark on this arrangement on what is okay. Sleep schedule, food menu etc can be given in written so that there's no confusion.
Grandparents love pampering and feeding little ones. However, occasional treats is different from giving candies or a piece of cake during lunch time.
Most importantly, respect each other. Instead of telling them what not to do, you can always tell them how to do it differently.
Let the grandparent take care of the child while you're home so that they get a fair idea about the routine of the baby.
Call often to check how things are. That gives you an idea how much the baby and the grandparent are able to cope with. You can even then think of hiring a part timer to help, without really offending the grandparents. Taking care of a baby is an exhausting job!
Be flexible and take it easy. You might feel bad when the grandparent knows exactly what to do to soothe your little one when they throw a tantrum at dinner time or bed time. But then, that's because they are spending more waking hours with the baby.
Have a consistent set of rules that everyone follows. This way, the child will not get confused either.

At home, with a full time maid or nanny

PROS:

Your child stays in the comfort of home.
You are able to monitor their meals.
There's more sense of control

CONS:

You may be left in the lurch if and when the nanny calls in sick or takes leave.
They are usually not educated. They could know the basics of child care, but may be adamant on following practices that may be harmful for the baby.
Supervision may be difficult, despite installing nanny cameras.

What you can do:

Hire a nanny with very strong reference credentials.
Try and work out some arrangement where a family member is home with the child and nanny.
Do a very strong background check.
Train the nanny for at least a month under your supervision.

A creche or daycare

PROS:

These are regulated and a bit more accountable.
You can monitor activities through CCTV cameras now.
The caregivers are usually educated and trained.
Children get to socialize with other kids.

CONS:

Divided attention as there are more children to take care of.
It is difficult to find day cares that would take infants as little as 6 months old.
Children tend to get sick often in a daycare.
The pick and drop timings can be pretty rigid.

What you can do:

Look for a facility closer to your home or workplace, whichever is more feasible.
Check the safety standards before finalizing. The place should be child friendly. You must also want to have a detailed discussion about meals, milk, naps, toilet training, screen time, play time, medical emergency etc.
Again, look for a reputed place, based on feedback from friends/peers/colleagues who are or have taken their services.

Caring for a child is an exhaustive job. I know as I have been at it for a little over 2.5 years with not a single day leave as yet. Yet, I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to spend all my time with my little one.

Leaving your little one in another person's care is a difficult decision to take, and unavoidable to. But, if we consider our situation with the pros and cons, we will be better equipped to take the most suitable decision that will work for both the baby and the parents.

Hope, I have been able to help a bit here :)

A Letter to the Father of My Child

2016-06-19T17:03:00.001+05:30

Dear Dadda,

That's how we address each other now, isn't it, as Mumma and Dadda?

If we had to go back to when we met, it would have been a little over two decades. And if we had to go back to how it all started, it'd be almost a decade, All that seems ancient history now though. But coming to our present, life has changed and how!

When we agreed to be together for life, I knew you were just the one who'd compliment and complete me in every way. And that you'd make the best husband ever. I wasn't disappointed either. You have always made that extra effort to keep things happy and smooth.

However, little did I think then about the kind of father you'd make. And here you just haven't surprised me, but simply bowled me over... yet again. The night of December 8, 2013, the day Prabir was born, you held him almost the entire night. You rocked and pacified him, as I struggled to get a hold on myself. And since then, it's just been a beautiful journey of growing together as his parents.

For him, his dadda is "Pustat Anand" and no matter how much we'd teach him to use the prefix 'Dr', he wouldn't. For, in you, he only sees his best playmate, his go-to person when mumma is strict, his caddy, his best friend! His eyes well up every morning as you leave for work and the sparkle in them is for all to see when you enter the room after a long day.

And again, you never disappoint him ever either. No matter how tired you may be, you are forever at his command, from the minute you are home. From bathing him to playing silly games to reading books together, you two are pretty sorted and just meant to be together. One hands-on father, you've never refused to change his diapers or even clean the mess that he creates. And it is these little things that make you his favourite (of course, that's after mumma!).

As he grows little by little every day, I see a lot of you in him. A Dadda's boy, he knows where his priorities lie already. He loves cars like you do and books and stationary too. And most of all, he loves his dadda.

So, while I may crib every day endlessly, be rest assured that I wouldn't have it any other way. As Prabir grows, he'll learn to be humble, to be kind and will have the zeal and determination to work hard, and all this and a lot more he'd inherit from his father- You!

So, thank you, for every little thing you do, for all that you do, is for 'us'. Thank you for loving us so and for being the best and the most doting father I've ever seen or known.

Love you more,

Mumma

Toddler Tantrums & Us

2016-06-02T05:48:00.001+05:30

Scene 1

Day - This Monday
Time - around noon

Prabir, now almost 2.5 years old, broke the remote back cover and started throwing everything off the bed, which included my novel and his toys.

I reacted pretty harshly and demanded that he pick the book from the floor right away. To which, I was met with an utter stubborn behaviour coupled with screaming and wailing at the top of his lungs. I stood my ground and refused to budge. He, being my blood and soul, stood his ground and refused to budge too. And this ensued over half an hour of screaming, wailing, coaxing etc etc. I did try to negotiate and make the situation a little more favourable to him as my temper cooled. However, he did not relent. Finally, after about 45 minutes that seemed like forever, I had to pick him off the floor as well as the book. Phew!

*******************************

Scene 2

Day- Today (Wednesday)
Time- around 11 am

A househelp needed a medicine for which I took out the medicine box. In no time, all the medicines were all over the bed, some being torn apart or in the process of being rigged out of their seal. The moment I reacted asking Prabir what he was up to, he threw the box off the bed.

I asked him to pick it up and yes, he refused again. So, I closed my eyes and pleaded a little birdie to come and help Prabir pick up the box so that we could play a new 'aim' game. The box was on the bed within seconds and then we both aimed all the medicines (tablets only) inside the box and kept it away.

*******************************

Would seem just another day to anyone. However, to a full time, stay-at-home mother, any such incident is good enough to trigger an outburst (which was what happened on Monday). It might seem trivial, but not when you're required to keep your calm every second of the day.

With your patience and perseverance levels tested every minute, it's hard to just smile and go through your day. In fact, at such times, I really need to remind myself why I am following gentle parenting and why not resort to a little spanking to set things straight. Thankfully, the better part of my brain and heart knows, even in those bleak moments, that spanking will not help and only make it all even more traumatizing for both of us.

The fact is that I know the workaround. I even know, well most of the times, what will help and what won't. Yet, I let my temper take over. Who benefits? Neither mumma nor the baby. It all boils down to endless tears and cursing myself.

So, yes, we mothers aren't perfect. While you may see us handling our little ones pretty well and think we have it all sorted, the fact is we don't. We too have those moments when we want to hide somewhere, away from the constant wailing and endless tantrums. We too have serious meltdowns and we can cry for hours for seemingly no reason. When we go down the guilt trip after behaving a little strictly with our little ones, we'd love someone to tell us that it's okay and that it's absolutely normal.

I write this after almost 20 minutes of dancing and rocking my son for his afternoon nap.... preceded by 20 minutes of running after him all over the house... preceded by 30 minutes of lunch in which he only wanted to eat watermelon seeds.....

I'm tired and we're not even half past the day. And that's me, almost every day. Whoever said motherhood is easy! But again, we always have a choice as to how to react to a situation and handle it.

I think a cup of coffee might help now :)

Confessions of a Mother

2016-02-16T17:27:00.001+05:30

I have a small group of mothers around me and we regularly discuss things about our respective children and seek advice from each other. Topics range from breastfeeding to food, vaccinations, outings, medicines, illness, home remedies. Basically, anything and everything.

While there's so much to learn yet, there's one thing other mothers always ask me - How do I remain so patient with my son all the time? Do I never get the urge to pick the rod?

If I have to confess, then to say that I have the composure of a saint would be the biggest lie. I snap often, I get angry quickly and I don't forgive easily.

But when it comes to my son, I hold back that impulsive emotion. I tell myself that I need to work out the situation some other way that's amicable to both of us.

He's a toddler and he'll have his tantrums. To give in to them or not is my prerogative as the parent. However, when the head banging, hitting and biting starts, all the saner thoughts fly to a distant land.

Handling the terrible twos is definitely a bigger and lengthier test I've ever taken. And the downside is that there's no textbook to go by. Just one thumb rule - Be gentle and loving, no matter how big the tantrum or bad the situation.

The first thing I do, at such times, is to stand back for a while. Away from him, and observe him. Then, as he begins his rolling-on-the-floor phase, I go and cuddle him and then starts the mammoth task of distracting him or talking it out. Most of the times, this works.

At other times, when I'm clearly not in a very safe mood myself, I keep away for longer and let someone else, usually my husband, take the front seat.

So, these days, we're always running late for everything. The reasons are pretty simple. My son may not like the clothes I pick for him and would prefer to put on something absolutely weird. Or he'd want to try all the shoes and slippers and sandals before deciding that he'll wear one each from two different pairs. Or he'd simply refuse for a diaper change as we run out of time.

The reasons are endless. And trust me, there's a lot of cajoling, negotiating and bargaining that goes on here, day in and out. The objective, however, is the same - a happy toddler.

So, yes. I usually run out of my reservoir of patience, more than a few times every day. I get firm and even upset and angry. But I don't let these emotions get the better of me. For my son is just being the baby that he is. He's entitled to his tantrums and the dramas. My only goal in those moments is to make him feel loved and understood, and reassure him every time that mumma has his back, always and all the time :)

A Letter to My Son on His 2nd Birthday

2015-12-19T15:47:00.000+05:30

My Shona,

It's birthday time! Yours and mine. For truly, so much of me was born with you today, two years ago. Two years. Already! Where did they go?

It seems like only yesterday when I first saw you. A little, tiny cherub . .. all mine! As you cried out, so did I. Tears of overwhelming happiness and joy that I'd never known before.

And look at you now. Such a bundle of energy you are today. I do miss my little baby sometimes whom I could snuggle and cuddle any time. But the toddler that has replaced him is no less precious.

Be it that naughty gleam in your eyes or the way you pose for a picture, you have your own ways of doing everything. Your dadda and I think aloud almost every day that we'll spoil you to bits with all this pampering, but then you deserve it all and so much more.

You've taught us so much in these years, lessons of love and patience, of giving and caring. Every day is a new day with you and every moment is a little surprise.

You're growing up into a fine little boy. You surprise us with your attention to detail and your fantastic memory. Every time I see you throwing a wrapper nowhere else but in a dustbin, washing your hands before a meal or offering what you're having to others around, I give a little pat on my back. For every good thing you do, is a reflection of the upbringing we are giving you.

You are curious. You are very inquisitive. And you are very sensitive and caring too. You know where mumma keeps her migraine pills and would rush to get it the moment you know mumma isn't feeling well. You'll get the bottle of water along too. And it's these little things that I wouldn't ever want to fade away in you.

As you grow, you'll become more independent, and while the selfish human in me would want to hold you closer, the mother in me will let you loose. To go on and explore the world and to make it brighter with your very presence, just like you've made ours.

Yes, I'm scared to let you on all by yourself, for I can not, and neither do I know how to, make the world a safer place for you. But together, we'll prepare to make you ready to be on your own, little by little, step by step. No, you needn't do great things. Just do the right things every time and follow your heart, for there's nothing that cannot be moved by passion and hard work. Put your heart to things and everything else will follow.

Grow up to be a good human being, no matter which profession you choose. Be sensible and be kind. Wipe the tears around and bring happiness everywhere. And always be the little sunshine that you are, lighting up everyone's lives with your smile and big heart.

Love and lots more of love,
Your proud mumma

Toddler at home? Some Fun Ways to Engage Them!

2015-08-18T15:40:00.003+05:30

So, I'm now a full time mother who works part time! When it comes to spending time in front of your system in office, hours fly by effortlessly most of the days, with colleagues and the boss ensuring you've enough to keep yourself occupied. But now, with no deadlines to meet or endless meetings and conference calls, days fly by even faster!

Yeah, it's my little toddler who keeps me in my toes (literally!) and wouldn't budge till he's not given his due attention. At times, it's difficult to match up with that level of energy. After all, I'm not getting any younger by the day. But there are some things they keep him busy for a few precious minutes, while I catch my breath.

If you're looking for ways to occupy your toddler for hours, be warned. Anything as 'long' as 20 minutes is considered phenomenal here. For toddlers have the attention span of a squirrel. Yeah, you know what I mean :)

A card of bindis - This by far is my son's favourite. He loves bindis and can play with them several times a day. I've kept a card of it aside and usually put back whatever is still usable from his face, legs and even the sheets!

A basket filled with random objects - Which toddler doesn't love exploring? And the more assorted the objects, the better.

Empty boxes and bottles - Cap, uncap, open, close, check, repeat!

Books - I keep a few books at an accessible distance for him and change them every couple of days. He picks one whenever he feels like to read and can now sit in a place for as long as 20 minutes while we read a book and look at the pictures.

Crayons and a doodle pad - When I first got him a set of crayons, people said it was too early. But he has loved them since the first time. He can now hold a crayon and make dots and lines and even attempts a circle :)

Shape sorting board - This is his latest fancy. He'd take out each shape and try to fit them back on the board. Another activity that we can do sitting in one place!

So, here are a few of the many things we do to make our days fun and interesting. C'mon mommies! Share your fun and engaging play time activities too.

For more on my journey as a mother, click here.

Yes, I'm a Proud Breastfeeding Mumma :)

2015-08-08T22:46:00.001+05:30

During pregnancy, we read all sorts of things about the 9 months and the journey after that. I was no different. I was monitoring every change in my body and comparing it with the texts and the Internet, all of which helped me become more confident and prepared.

Amid all this, there was one thing that I read but didn't give much thought to. I considered it very natural and nothing to be fretted about really. It was during my second trimester, I was on a call with a relative and she suggested that I could leave the baby with someone when I go for shopping or even a vacation. I responded saying it wouldn't be possible as I'd be breastfeeding. The reply that came from the other end was, "How will you breastfeed when you won't have enough milk?"

That comment infuriated me. Naturally! But it also got me preparing for the worst scenario - what if I didn't have enough milk? And then, there were many things that I learned which I didn't know till then.

I learned that I had to be assertive and tell people at the hospital that I WANT to breastfeed exclusively.

I had to let those around me know that I'll make enough milk to satiate my baby and do not need anyone to measure it for me.

I had to get away from all kinds of negative people and thoughts that would affect my breastfeeding journey or make it stressful.

Was all of this easy?

No.

Of course, everyone around had their own views and experiences. What annoyed me the most was when people would question me whether I was giving my son top feed or not.

No, I didn't and why would I do that either?

The replies I'd get were infuriating and amusing at the same time.

"You'll get some rest while someone else feeds the baby with dabba wala doodh! (formula)"

"You'll able to go out, without having to worry about feeding your baby."

"The baby will not be clingy and get used to being away from you."

The reasons they gave were endless.

But all my well-meaning well wishers realised, sooner or later, that this woman will not budge. And she's better left alone.

I was sure that I'll exclusively breastfeed my baby till 6 months.

Was it easy? No.

But it wasn't that difficult either. It did mean a whole lot of life changing decisions.

It meant that I be confined to my room for months with a newborn, trying to understand his feeding pattern, if not really predict.

It meant that every time my baby cried, eyebrows raised questioning if 'I was making enough milk'.

It meant learning time management better and taking a shower in 2 minutes, or better yet, postponing it endlessly to the next break between nursing sessions.

It meant sleepless nights with my baby latched on, while trying to adjust innumerable pillows to soothe a very aching back.

It meant waking up with pains and aches in your body and then sitting through another feeding session with your groggy self.

It meant restricting your outings or going to only those places where I could feed my baby.

It also meant meeting only those people who would understand that you cannot have a coffee without a nursing and a diaper change break.

It meant getting down to almost zero social interaction with minimal social outings.

Above everything, it meant being there physically and whole heartedly for your little one, at every time of day or night.

To say that breastfeeding has been a very smooth journey, would not be entirely correct. We had our issues latching initially. But yes, it's been the most fulfilling one. To know that I'm able to provide my little one with the best that I can, despite all odds.

I still wake up with an aching back every morning. Breastfeeding is a blessing I'm thankful for every morning and night. For when my son wouldn't eat, would be teething or would be ill, it still nourishes him and comforts both of us. While the health benefits of breastfeeding are innumerable, so is the inner satisfaction you get when you know you're providing your baby with the nourishment that only a mother can.

It has changed me. Yes. I've slowed down. No longer I'm multi tasking or juggling with several things at once. Even now, as we sit down for nursing, I'm reminded of how beautiful my life has become when those innocent eyes look into mine and give a smile that just the two of us share.

If given a choice, I would not change a thing about this phase of my life. It's beautiful and breastfeeding has made it even fulfilling. No, nursing isn't easier than giving your baby formula. Both are difficult, but then, raising a child is not easy either :)

So, here's to all beautiful mommies out there. Take pride in your breastfeeding journey and encourage every mother to do it for her baby.

Happy Breastfeeding Week, Mommies :)

To read more about my journey as a mother, head over to Being a Maa

Baby Led Weaning - An approach that changed me

2015-07-29T16:48:00.002+05:30

The first food that our paediatrician advised when Prabir completed 6 months was Cerelac. I didn't find anything wrong with that either as that's what I've seen most babies in the family eat.

We went to the store and bought a flavour that we thought our son would like. And the first day, I held the spoon near his mouth, he rejected it outright. I kept at it and tried for 3 days until I kept the box of Cerelac away for good.

I then started with suji (semolina) porridge, and dal and rice, and introduced fruits and veggies gradually. When he didn't eat as much as I would have liked him to, which happened almost every time, I fretted and worried. When he demanded to breastfeed soon after having some solids, I blamed myself for not giving him enough to eat as he was clearly hungry.

Nothing and no one helped either. I was told to let him watch the television to make him eat. Or may be distract him with toys, which I confess I have done. There would be a whole lot of toys with us as we started a meal and each one was a mission. After all, mumma had to ensure that the sonny eats as much as 'she' would like him to.

It was in his 8th month that I bumped into a group on Facebook. How that happened I barely remember, but it was no less than a miracle. I read all about baby led weaning (blw) and was determined that it was the right approach for my baby and me.

To know how this approach helped me and my little one, go on to Being a Maa, the place where this mumma writes about her journey as a mother.

The First Birthday Celebrations!

2014-12-20T23:23:00.002+05:30

Where does time fly?

It seems like it was only yesterday when I was wheeled into the labour room. At the time, it was just the pains that clouded my thoughts and nothing else. The following morning, I was holding a little cherub, as I felt my heart melting away.

Fast forward to now....

Prabir has completed 1 year. Already!! There I was, planning and re planning the kind of celebration I would have. And lo and behold, it's come and gone so soon!

I believe in making memories, and wanted to make a huge one for my little man. Of course, there's the thing about babies not enjoying their birthday celebration and not remembering it either way. While I agree to this to an extent, the enjoying part can be managed, if it's planned according to your baby and not the parents or the guests.

While planning the entire event, a few things that were important for me were:

Prabir's sleep or meals aren't disrupted.
Everyone gets to enjoy, adults included.
It shouldn't be just another birthday party where you cut the cake, give a gift, have food and that's it.
Relatives traveling to be with us get to see the city closely and taste the local food too.
Every moment is captured for Prabir to look at and smile later.

The first came the card and it had to be special. As we celebrated every month, I compiled the pictures of all the cakes he had cut through the year. So, with all the little ones he cut every month, it was now time to cut the Big 1!!

The birthday was on a Monday and his near and dear ones were more than excited to be with him for his big day, so much so that many of them flew in from different cities for the celebration. So yes, the onus was on us to make their trip memorable and fun.

With relatives arriving before or on Sunday, we planned a 2-day celebration.

The fun started on Sunday morning with a special Ganga cruise. With the weather favoring us, it was real fun cruising on the Ganges, with family for company, snacks for nibbling and lots of candid clicks.

Following this was lunch by the riverside. The restaurant had an open space which we'd booked in advance, making it a private and sunny affair.

Post this, everyone returned and took some well needed rest. Prabir too was home in time for his nap.

In the evening, there was a small get together with local delicacies like litti-chokha, chhole-bhature and mutton curry and rice.

The next day was the big one, with everyone up to wish the birthday boy the moment he woke. Prabir decided to sleep in a little more, while everyone waited. In the meantime, his room was filled with balloons and gifts. So, the moment he woke up, he had this big grin on his face, and darted towards his gifts.

The birthday party was kept in the afternoon as it's at that time when Prabir is most active and playful. We didn't choose any theme for the event as our little boy will have enough to pick from as he grows. Balloons were colorful and the cake was a classic two tier blue butterscotch with cream pandas on the top.

The only thing that I hadn't really thought of was Prabir's dress. While I wanted it casual and chic, I wanted him to stand out too and the party dresses for boys available in the market were just not great. Every store had millions of choices for girls, but for little boys, there were barely a few, if any. We settled for denim pants with a multicolor sweater and a red Nehru Jacket to complete the look.

There were games for both adults as well as the kids, musical chair, spoon and lemon race and paper dance. What fun it was to see Prabir's aunts and uncles running, while Prabir clapped and rocked to the music.

The highlight of the party was a video I compiled with all the firsts, like when he first babbled, first crawled etc.

The return gifts were personalised too. The kids got caps with their name on it. For the adults, there were framed pictures of them with Prabir, ethnic dupattas etc. We also got chocolate bars with 'Thank You' written on them for every kid.

With the event over by 4pm, we were home soon enough for the kid to catch up with his siesta. So, all in all, no cranky baby and just perfect birthday celebrations!

The success of it all would be when my son smiles every time he sees the pictures and videos of his first birthday. That moment is still far fetched, but would make everything worth the effort ☺

Blessed :)

2014-04-06T20:01:00.000+05:30

So, this time again, I have been away for longer than usual. However, the reason behind it is a beautiful one... rather a very cuddly and adorable one :)

Here goes....

We were blessed with the most gorgeous son last December. And life has completely changed since then. It's almost 4 months now and I am reveling in each moment of this new phase. Needless to say, motherhood has certainly transformed me. I now live in the moment, trying to do the best I can for my little one. Every decision and every job has me thinking about him first. In short, life is truly beautiful :)

This new phase continues to teach me something new every day, whether it was about taking care of myself during pregnancy or looking after my little one now. And this has inspired me to start a new blog.

No, it wouldn't be about motherhood and all the gyan. It would be something this new Maa would like to write and share, sometimes about herself and at other times, about her little bundle of joy. It would be about things I read and those that I learn from other mothers. Above everything, it would be about every little joy and happiness that my son has bestowed on me and the blessings that the Almighty has showered us.

Blogdosts, you have been with me through these years, and shared every moment of joy or sorrow through this blog and your lovely comments. Would love to have you in my new space and hear from you as I share my experiences.

http://www.beingamaa.blogspot.in/

See you there...:)

P.S: A silent and solemn promise to myself to update this space a little more often too :)

Take care and stay precious.

A Little Note After A Long Long Time...

2013-11-29T00:50:00.000+05:30

I'd hate the year to end with no post in this space. Though I have been thinking for months to pen down something, but time and circumstances just wouldn't allow. The readership has almost dried up, while my blog friends have also stopped asking when I'd write next. This is what happens when you ignore your blog for so long. And of course, I am to blame for it.

2013 has had its highs and lows. On one hand, it gave us a major blow on the personal front and on the other, I paved a new path on the work front. With another month left before the curtains finally fall, life is all set to take a new turn.

This year gave us a setback when we lost our father. He had been suffering for long and it had been even harder towards the end. Losing a parent is one of the most difficult things in life and especially when you have lost another one years ago. Yet, you have to let go. Death is indeed the most harsh truth of life, one thing that you cannot turn away from. It instills a fear in you, a fear of the unknown and the uncertainly of life itself. Things appear from a different perspective altogether and you begin analyzing and assessing every relationship in life.

It's certainly difficult, but then we had to move on. No one ever gets any other choice, do we?

To say I didn't miss blogging would be incorrect. I haven't written for months, something I have missed a lot. In fact, I have been so close to writing and content all this while and yet not written a word! There are plenty of drafts sitting in there to be completed and a great number of post ideas that seem to appear and disappear simultaneously. However, the one thing missing is that extra effort from my end to actually sit down and write! Any tips for that?

Writing is one thing that has always given me solace and I yearn to get back to it. It helps me get sorted; and tonight, as I type this, I can feel a new gush of energy within me. Yes, I need to get back to it, to writing, to blogging, to you all. And I will now.

Leaving tonight on this note, with a promise to myself that I will write more before the year ends. The posts will get better is another promise and you'd soon find the same old Neha back to where she belongs - writing & blogging :)

Till then, take care and stay precious.

My First Brush with Office Politics... My Corporate Saga (Part 6)

2013-01-11T15:00:00.001+05:30

(Read the other parts here.)

As we settled in the new place, life at work was beginning to change. We were no longer treated as 'freshers' and results were expected from us now. There were scores maintained and ratings given for every call we took. We were taught to treat the caller/client as the 'king', no matter what kind of language the 'king' used. It was okay to mutter back but even more important was to ensure you are not heard, even by yourself!

I continued to treat work the way I had treated other things in life so far. I worked towards improving my scores and performance while trying to enjoy work. I hadn't got around to liking it yet as it still seemed forced on me. However, there were targets to be met and I focused my energy on that instead of reminiscing over what could have been. There were other teams on the floor and competition was fierce. Scores were shared every other day along with the team's collective performance.

It was just another day in office when I was struggling to type the conversation I'd just had with a customer. Looking for alphabets on the keyboard then seemed like hunting for needles in a haystack (seriously!).

A guy from another team, someone who I saw chit chatting more than working, walked up to my workstation. After the customary 'hi', I resumed typing. He stood behind me, watching intently, enough to make me stop and turn around.

"Real slow typing, huh?"

"Yeah, still not used to it."

"You'll be an expert at it in a few days. Anyways, are you friends with that girl in our team?" He gestured towards the bay behind us.

"Yeah, known her since we joined together. Why, is there some problem?"

"I heard her talking about you and what I heard was not nice." His voice was barely audible.

"Ohh, what did she say?" My curiosity was at the peak and I could feel the tension growing inside me.

He went on to tell me the "negative talk" that had been going on about me, about my selfishness, my competitive nature etc. etc. As he spoke, anger welled up within me. Who were these people to pass judgement about me? Who are they to discuss what I am supposed to do or how I should be? Questions like these surged in my mind.

After a while he left, leaving me reeling in anger. Any amount of distraction didn't help as I continued to do my work normally. As soon as I could, I took a break, got myself a cup of coffee from the vending machine and stood by myself on the staircase, trying to calm myself. True, I had never been a world favourite, but was also not told of such things on my face before either.

A senior team member walked up to me then and inquired what was wrong. When I told her what this guy had said and that I had considered that 'girl' to be a friend, she asked me if I had spoken to her about it. I obviously hadn't.

She pointed out then, "You are believing this guy you barely know and based on what he's said you've made an opinion about this girl you've known and been with for a few months now. If you look at it objectively, this guy knows you two are friends and assumes that you two share office and work related matters too and being in the same different team as the girl, he doesn't want that their team's matters, if there are any like those, to be revealed to you. So, what he did is simple. He made you believe that your friend is talking ill about you and you did just that. This is called politics, dear, rather office politics.C'on now, let's go inside." She smiled.

She was right. I did just that. I believed in this stranger and was all set to vow against speaking to a friend. Whether the reason or gain that my senior said was valid or not, the logic seemed to make sense.

Over the next few days, I got to know more about this guy and thanked my stars that I never believed in him. And then, another fine day, he walked up to me while I stood waiting for my cab, "I see you are still friends with that girl. Remember, what all she said about you?"

I smiled back, "That's okay. You know what! There are so many people talking about you all the time too." I boarded my cab.

Thinking of the look on his face at that time makes me smile even today.

Office politics? Sorry, not with me!

*************************************

Blogdosts, this is part of the series 'My Corporate Saga'. I will share my experiences, the challenges I faced, the achievements I accomplished, and the falls I suffered in my eight years of life as a working woman. It will highlight the problems a single girl faces in a new city and in a new job among strangers. It will also tell you how I managed to move along. The sweet and happy moments, the sour and frightening ones, all will be part of this series. Read the other parts here.