MANspective

Championship week for college football = Roman Noodles for dinner...every night this month

2011-12-03T11:58:00.000-05:00

My picks for todays early games

Cincinnati -8 over Uconn

Reason- Uconn blows.

Pitt -9 over Syracuse

Reason- If one of their basketball coaches diddle little boys it means they all do. Fuck Syracuse.

Hou -14 over Southern Miss

Reason- Case Keenum lights bitches up.

If you would like to bet and make money I suggest you pick the opposite of what I say. These are the legit reasons I choose these teams and I lose...every week.

Go Beef or Go Home

Women...the ultimate deception

2011-11-26T12:36:00.012-05:00

Let's just clear the air here ladies... We know what's going on..

you're not fooling anybody with that painted on mug, the 2 inches of fake lashes or the caked on cover up.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the effort, but seriously - it scares the shit out of me when I realize you are a swamp creature underneath all that!

False advertising!

(need proof? follow the link...)watch the video up until the 10 second mark, then fast forward to 32 seconds... shake head in disbelief, and then get your ass back here before the sea creature swallows your soul forever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex33wtqnNz8

Holy shit right?

Yea I know, blogging 101 says I should know how to embed a freaking video on here...but I can't so endulge me -

Let me clearify my point ladies, A little make up ONCE IN A WHILE is a nice change, something a guy can appreciate and give you a compliment,
"Wow, you really look nice today"
But when this is your deal all day everyday..

Then you have crossed that line- now that becomes your everyday face...and nobody wants to crawl in bed with!

besides, think of the example you are setting for your kids? or other kids that see you?

Role Model

Of course, celebrities are the most disapointing to see without makeup...you build this grand delusion that they are incredibly beautiful and have flawless features..

So remember ladies, weather you have self esteem issues, or just think this looks "Haawwwt"

Keep that shit to a minimum! If I wanted to see a sideshow freak...I'd be at the circus!

SemperFi : Mila Kunis

2011-11-21T20:18:00.008-05:00

Mila Kunis kept her word and attended the 236th Marine Corps birthday ball for 3rd Battalion, 2nd Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division in Greenville, N.C

According to Capt. Scott Sasser the actress and her date Sgt. Moore were both “enjoying the night.”

Because media outlets were not allowed to capture footage photos were provided courtesy of Marine Cpl. Johnny Merkley. Here’s one more shot of Kunis sitting at a table with her date and other marines and their partners:

So Mila on behalf of all the Marines out there thanks for sticking by your word and making a very memorable birthday party for all that attended.

As for myself...It just so happens I took a pretty hot date as well... none other than Mila's twin, the Family 1st Sergeant.

It's time to go Flo!!!

2011-11-20T11:23:00.003-05:00

Flo... you had a good run... it was funny at first, some people find you funny and charming, but at this point, we're gonna have to let you go... really, it's over lady..this commercial has run its course... just like all good things- you stuck around too long and now I can't stand to see your face let alone hear your voice!

Hot chicks.... What's up...

2011-11-17T23:00:00.011-05:00

Consider this a test.. only a test... do not be alarmed.. I just want to see how much traffic this post generates... if you are a regualr reader, feel free to enjoy these beautiful women.. if you found this by a google search for any of the following searches, "beautiful women, hot chicks, babes, beautiful hot chicks with hot bodies" then let me know... we need to re-adjust our website...but seriously...feel free to let me know what this site needs more or less of..

Dom Mazzetti...a personal hero.

2011-11-04T23:07:00.002-04:00

Here is a quick link to a guy that keeps me laughing with every YouTube video he puts out, his name is Dom Mazzetti and he has an "acquired taste" of humor...but if you get him...you get us, and we can all be friends...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrsorr-O5To&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkpS_yswvqE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7jduDKGWUc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2ooQKiOe9c&feature=relmfu

P.S. I can personally qurantee that you will NOT be disapointed with any of his video's all equally funny, my personal favorite? that's easy...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8nSHzAE5CQ&feature=related

Hands down...the best advice column ever written...

2011-10-31T21:13:00.004-04:00

The be all and end all blow-J article of all time- that's it, publish it to the masses... scream it from the rooftops-let's get this thing out there! This chick needs to have her own TV show, move over Sue Johanson!

Erica knows her shit and this is a movement that I can get behind...

Dear Erica,

I want to start giving [my boyfriend] blowjobs… I haven’t ever given a blowjob before. How do I make sure he’ll like it?

—Sorry Understanding of Cocksucking Knowledge

Erica’s Answer: I LOVE BLOWJOBS!

Now, SUCK, look in the mirror and say that 10 times. My first bit of advice is to think about why you want to start giving blowjobs. What makes them sexy for you? What makes you enjoy them as much as he does? I ask this because the first tip to help you blow like a pro is enthusiasm. A dull, perfunctory blowjob, even if the performer does everything technically “right,” is probably still not a very good blowjob. Like with any other sex act, it’s best when all parties are involved, active participants; if someone is just there out of some sense of humdrum obligation, then it takes the quality down a few notches. Tip number two is to ask what your partner likes in advance or during the actual event. Remember, the best head is the head your partner likes best. Asking permission for things can be a sexy way to simultaneously talk dirty and get consent.Once you and your partner are on the same wavelength, focus on his most sensitive bits. The head is a great place to start, along with the corona (that ridge where the head meets the shaft) and particularly the frenulum (the little triangular spot on the corona on the underside). Kiss his balls, or gently take them in your mouth. Pull up his foreskin and swirl your tongue around inside it. Lube up a finger and play with his ass.Don’t forget about the non-penis parts of his body and sensorium that can get in on the action too.Lightly run your fingers along his thighs. Slide your palm up his belly until you get to his nipples. Moan a lot and tell him how much you love having his cock in your mouth. If you’re a gal, touch yourself for a minute and let him taste how much you love it, or if you have a dick of your own, let him feel how hard it makes you, too.Once he’s good and worked up, you might try deep throating. Deep throating is not always a necessary component of a good blowjob, but it’s an exceptional tool to have in your repertoire. Slide your mouth all the way down the shaft (watch your teeth) and stay there. Make eye contact. Move back up just an inch or two and then return to the base, keeping the head deep inside your mouth.Go slow. Go fast. Pay attention to how he’s responding; his breathing and his body language can cue you in to what he likes just as much as what he’s saying.Think your gag reflex is too sensitive to deep throat? It’s probably not. Practice a bit with your toothbrush, a spoon or dildo (no really, practice). Try to figure out how you like to breathe.Work on inching back further into your mouth, a little bit at a time. See if you can keep it there longer. Your gag reflex probably won’t ever be eliminated, but you can learn to control it.And for the big finish? It’s often portrayed as an either/or (spitting or swallowing), but there are many additional options: You could let your partner cum on your face, your chest or let him squirt across the room.Ask him what he likes or has never tried before, and remember, the job isn’t necessarily over once your partner has an orgasm. Get a tissue, or grab a blanket and cuddle a bit. Let him (and help him) come down from the mind-blowing high you just gave him.Enthusiasm, discussion and whole-body involvement—all of these things can be applied to any partner during any sex act.Practice makes perfect! For more helpful tips and techniques on blowjobs, oral sex or any other sexual activity you’re in need of improving these days, send an e-mail to Erica at sex@dailycardinal.com.

Blown away? me too...now it is your MANspective duty to drop a link to this article to at least 10 of your female friends.

What a prick!

2011-10-29T10:23:00.005-04:00

Teen gets 27 assault counts for handshake line attacks Earlier in October, Prep Rally brought you the story of a disturbed high school football player in Ohio, who pricked the hand of 28 opponents in the postgame handshake line following his team's victory, which he didn't play in.

According to the Record Herald, the teen -- who pricked the hands of opponents after his team's 26-0 victory against McLain (Ohio) High -- will receive the charges at a forthcoming hearing, where he can either admit to the alleged actions or deny them. If he admits to knowingly hurting his one-time opponents, the teen would be handed a sentence by Highland County (Ohio) Juvenile Court Judge Kevin Greer. If he denies the accusations, a pretrial hearing will be set at the arraignment
No explanation for the student's action has been given, though his mother hired legal representation for the teen shortly after the incident unfolded on Oct. 1. No matter what punishment the teen receives -- if he either pleads guilty or is eventually found guilty -- it won't take back the tetanus shots that were administered at the start of the month to the 28 players he pricked with what is believed to be a tack.
"They felt the pain of it when it occurred and they thought maybe they had hit a nerve or something. Then some of them immediately … looked at their hands and saw blood," said Dr. Dan Strain, McClain High School principal, told WCMH-TV shortly after the incident."

This story has been out for a while now, old news right? but this kind of shit makes me glad I'm not a High School kid these days... without a doubt, I would be in jail awaiting the death penalty for some heinous acts of unspeakable mischief that only kids in their teens do.

Come on! a thumb tack handshake gets you a court date?

is this for real?

It was dumb, shouldn't have done it, bad sportsmanship..could have hurt someone -I get it...

Let's move on, have your coach talk to my coach, and we can work something out...make the kid run laps around the field, do up downs till he pukes or make him pull jock strap duty for the rest of the season, for BOTH teams.

Going to court for this is a waste of tax payers money and is without a doubt gonna fuck this kids future up real quick.

I'm sure he wishes he could get a do-over on this one, I wasn't even there and I know exactly the mindset of this kid and how it went down.

Lil Jim wasn't good enough to start, or even play for that matter but the kid is full of spirit and spunk, all amped up on the sidelines rooting his team on to a whoomping of the other team, so when it comes down to the handshake- Lil Jim Jim just wants to feel like he contributed to this victory in some way..maybe not on the field, but nonetheless he needs to get his kicks in.. so Jimmy boy thinks, "I know I can spit on my hand and they will shake it..." but then realizes..thats JV bullshit, I gotta step my game up if I'm ever gonna make this team, so BAM there goes the tack, and the rest is history.

Look, some of you may think this kid is getting what he deserves...
You are morons.

You have obviously lost sight of what being a kid is all about, High School is all about skipping class, getting ass, and slippen as many thumb tack handshakes to unsuspecting kids as you can possibly get away with.

Tebowing...WTF?

2011-10-29T09:18:00.003-04:00

What in the wide world of sports is this bullshit?

if this is meant to mock or make fun of Timmy T, I wont stand for it..and I definately will not be kneeling for it!

I just cant bring myself to get behind this movement, I know the planking thing was rediculous and short lived, or is it still going on in certain parts of the country? I dont know- I never actually see the planks being performed in public anymore...

But I promise you this, let me see some fool bend down on one knee in front of me and mock my Timmy T, and he is getten a swift kick to the dick before he can fire off a hail mary.

Hope Solo...

2011-10-28T21:02:00.018-04:00

"Hope Solo can't catch a break. The soccer pro barely escaped elimination in her last performance of "Dancing with the Stars." and now, her team, the magicJack, is being shut down. The reason for the league's termination: The owner's unprofessional treatment of his players and failure to pay bills."

Let's get one thing straight right off the bat... Manspective does not acknowledge such shows as dancing with the stars as relevant television, nor woman's soccer for that matter, but what we do recognize and applaud are outstanding women in sports...

Botton line- Hope Solo is a smokeshow worth a Google search or two, and a body that just wont quit. Hugh Hefner should really be throwing barrels of bunny money at this chick instead of that crackhead Lindsey Lohan, now that's an issue I wouldn't mind picking up...for the articles of course.

But listen, Hope is phenomenal athlete with the body of a goddess, yea the face is a little scary, but ya know what? I dig that kind of thing... she's got a perma mean mug going on and quite honestly, I'm in love...

So here for your viewing pleasure, some of her finest...

Monopoly.....I'll kill you bitch!

2011-10-28T20:45:00.005-04:00

A New Mexico woman repeatedly stabbed her boyfriend after accusing him of cheating during a Monopoly game early yesterday, according to police.

Laura Chavez, 60, and her boyfriend were playing the popular board game at her Santa Fe apartment when the dispute occurred. Chavez, pictured in the mug shot at right, allegedly admitted stabbing her beau, Clyde "Butch" Smith, with a kitchen knife.

It's pretty obvious this bitch plays for keeps right? I mean rules are rules bro, you break em' you pay the consequences...

It just so happens that in the Chavez house that means getting shanked for swipped pink 50's from the bank when ol Laura ain't looken...

Hey I ain't mad at her one bit.. I take that shit just as serious as the next guy - If I'm gonna sit down and spend the next 4 hours of my life haggling a decent price for a three way trade to get the yellows and oranges all while balancing a budget that would put congress in a spin, then I'm in it to win it folks.

you think someones pulling a fast one? simple...just show em the knife... or better yet.. pull up a link to this article and let them know... I play for keeps bitch!

America....Fuck Yea!

2011-10-27T19:58:00.005-04:00

As a man who gladly serves this country there are certain customs and courtesies that I am obligated to uphold and do so with pride.

One of them being standing and saluting as the flag passes by while in uniform, or when you hear the National Anthem being played. Those are things that I take pride in and will do without being told, rather as an honor to those who have given their lives defending that very flag or song.

So here's the rub, what do you do when you are not in uniform? for those not familiar with the Military, there is no such thing as a part time service man or woman, you don't just stop caring when you take the uniform off, it is something you carry with you everyday and it becomes you.

So when I'm sitting at home on my Man Chair settled in waiting for the first pitch of the World Series, and some flavor of the week degenerate comes strolling out to lay down his or her version of that beautiful song, or better yet this dumb bitch fucks it up beyond belief.... Ya Aguilera that's you... I haven't forgotten.

So what is the appropriate response? I stop doing whatever it is I am doing at the moment, take the time to remember those who have died defending this great country and will continue to lay down there life for that flag that flies so majestically above all others, and when that last note has been belted out and the crowd goes wild, I crack that Beer that was made in the USA and watch the game that makes this the best damn Country in the world... play ball!

Rob Gronkowski...destroying Vageen as he see's fit..

2011-10-23T17:08:00.010-04:00

Mancrush.....The Highest tier of a man's love for another man, without having and sexual want towards the man..

define it how you wish, but I will be the first to admit I suffer them from time to time, more often than not, its for a professional athlete. Chalk that up to a sporting career summed up by collecting splinters on the High School basketball bench,and harassing keg money from the degenerates in the stands as the School football team eaked out another 3rd and long.

Half of solving a problem is admitting the problem, so consider this my road to recovering...I have Mancrushes! this time, the apple of my eye is non other than Rob Gronkowski... rightfully so, the guy is a stud, just killen it on the field- one of the best Tight Ends in the league, and crushen tail off...it seems like everytime I turn my computer on it's him nailen down another bunny, or some future porn star... Come on gronk... how can you keep this up?
It's obvious by the abundance of Gronkowski names in the NFL that he comes from above then average genetics.. I get it, welcome to proffesional sports... and the fact that he is built like a brick shit house- again, rather average for the Pro's but what gets me, is how he can pull it all off together and make it look so easy..

I mean look at this guy, just all out winning at life.. much respect Gronk, much respect indeed... The guy openly tweets obscene pictures at Kate Upton tellen her he wants to spank her and do all kinds of crazy shit..

and less than a week later he is nailen it down like a loose floor board...

Is this article going anywhere?
No!
Does it need to ?
HELL NO!!
This was just an excuse to write about a guy that needed a little recognition for his great contribution to Patriot Nation, Mankind, and servicing Vageen everywhere..

So to Rob Gronkowski... Manspective salutes you sir!

keep crushing!

Tis the Season......

2011-10-22T16:31:00.007-04:00

hearing those words may bring fond memories of the holidays, maybe some sledding and snow forts? or just curling up on the couch with a steaming cup of hot cocoa while the stalkings are hung by the crackling fireplace and the snow is melting off your partially frostbitten toes... it only means one thing to me...

ITS FUCKEN FOOTBALL SEASON!!!

pigskin, Manball, The Gridiron game of legends past... the ol pass and catch if you will, call it what you want...its all good to me... I love it just the same.

it consumes my life all week and gets every ounce of my attention on Sunday- yea I got kids...but that's what 7 hours of DVR'd Spongebob and Dora are for...by 1 o'clock on Sunday I can less if she's watching Snookie getting railed out on the Jersey Shore, as long as she does so quietly in her room... I draw the line when she starts fist pumping around the house and asking where the smush room is... but that's a problem for another day...not Sunday...

that's a Man holiday in my house!

This year, as well as the years past- I'm in a Fantasy Football league- let me clarify this for you...I'm not just in a League...I'm DOMINATING my League, just layen waste to teams left and right, "Oh, you got a decent team bro? oh you swiped a clever name off some snarky google search, how original... BAM- welcome to your demise- the Freaken Renis Pinkles are here to wreak havoc on your cerebellum!"

Yea you read that right, I named my team the Renis Pinkles, go ahead run it through the old up top shop real quick, chew it up, spit it back out- and you got PENIS RINKLES....pretty sweet visuals huh? yea that with my avatar of some creepy old Indian who looks like he spent the better part of his life in the Serengeti covered in Crisco and you got yourself a chuckle at my expense... but trust me- that's the only laughing you're doing when you play my boys...

Que the inevitable line up below, what you thought I was gonna write about Fantasy Football and NOT include a lineup? that's like watching porn without a money shot at the end... it just ruins the whole thing...

So here it is,

(QB) Drew Brees

(QB) Mathew Stafford

(WR) Steve Smith

(WR) Miles Austin

(WR) Wes Welker

(WR) Reggie Wayne

(WR) Robert Meachem

(RB) Darren McFadden

(RB) Ray Rice

(RB) Darren Sproules

(RB) Ernest Graham

(TE) Rob Gronkowski

(Def) Baltimore

(K) Janikowski

So there it is Gents, that line up might as well get retired in Canton Ohio, make a big display with each name etched in solid steal, and get someone working on that coveted yellow jacket... cause we all know I earned it...

Now some of you may be saying "wow, wow, wow, pump the breaks big guy...the season isn't over yet..."

and to you I say ..

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Let me just lay this out there right now- half of winning is all about attitude

(write that down)

if you don't have the winning attitude, well you are gonna be a loser.. sorry folks, those are the rules, I don't make them..I'm just a pawn in this game called life.

What fun is fantasy football with your buddies if you can't lay waste to their inflated ego with some smack talk, and rub his face in a lose like you do with your dog that has bad bowel control and a severe case of separation anxiety...

It's all about the small victories...each virtuous week is a voucher for a piece of your opponents soul, to be redeemed immediately...thank you very much, hope you enjoyed your stay here on Pinkles Island home of WINNING... and just like my team slogan says,

"Better luck next week"

Retired?

2011-10-22T13:50:00.005-04:00

So its been a few months...would be safe to say this blog is about as dead as Gaddafi right now, and rightfully so, but somehow the stats say otherwise... We havent posted anything in a while, but the tracker still shows strong traffic coming in from Google and Facebook...so we must still have some loyal readers out there... or just one really creepy stalker with multiple IP addresses.

Even though we never officially "retired" we kind of just took a Brett Favre esque vacation...I feel like its time to test the waters, see what's out there- who's listening and what kind of stories we can put together to make another run at this thing.

So throw a bookmark back on the page and stay tuned...I just might have a few laughs headen your way.. you know for gigs and shits of course...

Casey Anthony..thought I forgot huh?

2011-07-14T14:08:00.006-04:00

Might be a lil late on this one...

Ok a lot fucken late..but that's my style (note I have waged a war against not being punctual to anything since 2004 - so no, this really is NOT my style.) I wanted to let the smoke blow off this topic before I felt it was ok to write about it.

During this time, I came across some funny/controversial photos while wasting your valuable tax dollars.
yes people I do this from work...I got three kids and a wife with a "to do" list a mile long, I got no time to waste when I leave here.

I promise you I am not gonna get into this topic at all, its too serious for this kind of blog, so I will just hit you in the face with some unfortunately funny captioned pictures and leave it at that.

P.S if you dont know who this is, or what I'm talking about...blah blah blah..living under a rock..blah blah blah..

*disclaimer* There is absolutely NOTHING funny about what this heartless bitch did, and got away with- as a father of three I can't for the life of me understand why a sane person would hurt there own children. Boom- thats it, now laugh bitches!

If Japan can't handle a tsunami they won't handle our U.S. punani

2011-07-13T17:07:00.000-04:00

I'm not going to lie to you reader. I watch the women's world cup. I don't just watch, I thoroughly enjoy it. I am trusting you not to tell anybody.

Ok, now that that's cleared up we can move on.

No chance Japan lasts one half with the U.S. in the world cup final. Just not happening. Abby Warmsack is on a tear. Hope Blomo can't be beaten. The ref's will undoubtedly cheat for Japan but it doesn't matter, it hasn't mattered.

I feel bad for Japan and sure it would be a great story for them to win. But I'm still kind of sour about Pearl Harbor. So I wouldn't mind if we did a little fly by and dropped a couple on their team prior to the start of the game. Just a suggestion, take it or leave it Obama.

Enough is ENOUGH!

2011-07-12T19:14:00.004-04:00

California woman, Catherine Becker, cut off her husband's penis, tossed it in garbage disposal:
A woman in California cut off her estranged husband's penis and dropped it in the garbage disposal, police said Tuesday.

She later told authorities her spouse "deserved it," according to KTLA News.
Police in Garden Grove, a city about 25 miles south of Los Angeles, responded to the home of Catherine Becker Monday night after she called 911.

They found her 51-year-old husband, whose name was not released, bleeding from his crotch. He was rushed to the hospital and is listed in serious condition.Becker told police she tied her husband to their bed after poisoning his food to make him sleepy, Lt. Jeff Nightengale told KTLA.

The 48-year-old waited for the man to wake up before grabbing hold of his penis and cutting it off, police said.

She then placed it into the garbage disposal and turned it on.

Becker has been charged with aggravated mayhem, false imprisonment, assault with a deadly weapon, administering a drug with intent to commit a felony, poisoning and spousal abuse.

All fucking around aside...this is worse than taking two to the chest and one to the head.
If you are gonna do it, do it fast and put me out of my misery, I am not going out like this, how terrifying is this story if you are the proud owner of your very own fun stick?
This just made me cringe reading the way she methodically poisoned him, tied him up, and WAITED until he came too..
do you realize how confused you gotta be when you wake up restricted...can't move and see this psychotic looking woman standing in front of you with a pair of scissors/dull knife/ whatever the fuck she could get her hands on..

this cannot be conveyed how horrifying this story is, I didn't even want to tackle this one, this is too big-its the Big leagues, and I'm still Bush leaguen this shit beaten blogs about hamsters getten there hump on, its like those people trying to sing Whitney Houston songs on American Idol...you know you can't hit that note lady why are you even trying?

P.S The gahhhbage disposal? what a slap in the face...

Its bad enough you cut off his pee piece, you gotta make puree' out of the damn thing? like at least get a slap chop for effect...let him see the shit get diced.. on second thought- I don't want the First Sergeant getting any ideas, I'm going home and throwing away the slap chop and disconnecting the garbage disposal.

In the meantime...let's end the madness alright, I know the legal system will probably give her a slap on the wrist if not applaud her when it comes out that this guy was beaten up on her and whatnot, But seriously- we need to make an example out of this chick...the legal system is a mockery right now, we got a lady who just got away with killing her kid and this chick who just tortured and mutilated a man who was completely incapable of defending himself...

Now am I advocating we cut off her tits? no.. besides lets be real, that wouldn't be half as painful/horrifying you gotta understand the circumstances here...this guy had no idea if he was being Punk'd or murdered ..he kinda of ended up somewhere in the middle... poor bastard.

Appropriate punishments people?
let's here em!

"Glory Holes" OOPS I mean "Glory Days"

2011-07-12T14:30:00.000-04:00

Little League baseball buddy, Joe DePugh, had no idea that the entertainer wrote a song about him being a star athlete.

But one of DePugh's co-workers was familiar with the story of the 1967 graduates running into each other at a New Jersey bar in 1973 and catching up on old times. He immediately recognized the scenario when he heard Springsteen's 1984 hit "Glory Days" and told DePugh about it.

In the opening of the song from Springsteen's "Born In The U.S.A." album, the Boss sings, "I had a friend was a big baseball player back in high school, he could throw that speedball by you, make you look like a fool boy, saw him the other night at this roadside bar."
DePugh discussed his days of playing baseball with Springsteen and even nicknaming him Saddie in a recent interview with the New York Times.
DePugh said he was hesitant to believe that Springsteen sang about their chance meeting until a radio station played the song at his request.
"My wife starts bawling," DePugh told the New York Times. "That's how I knew exactly that it was me."
Dick Enderly, another former Little League player who attended school with Springsteen, said the rock star confirmed that the song is about DePugh at their 30th high school reunion in 1997. "I got it straight from the horse's mouth," Enderly told the New York Times.
In 2005, 21 years after the release of the top 5 pop song, another classmate, Don Norkus, arranged for Springsteen and DePugh to meet for lunch.
"Bruce pulls in and I point at him and he points at me, and that's when the hugging started," DePugh said. They spent hours talking. They met again a few years ago.
DePugh said he was dumbfounded by Springsteen's humility. "He said, 'Always remember, I love you,' not like some corny Budweiser commercial, but a real sentimental thing," DePugh said.
DePugh, who played alongside Springsteen in the Babe Ruth League, began calling Springsteen Saddie because of their comparative baseball skills.
Springsteen's boasting about DePugh's talent as a pitcher wasn't exaggerated. During his senior year of high school, he received an invitation to try out for the Los Angeles Dodgers.
DePugh seriously entertained thoughts of becoming a professional athlete. "I was like, 'I'm going to be a pitcher for the Dodgers. No, I'm going to college. No, I'm going to be a pitcher for the Dodgers.' Well, the tryout cleared that all up."
DePugh, who also played basketball, earned a degree in English from King's College in Wilkes-Barre, Pa. DePugh, who was unable to find full-time work as a teacher, is a self-employed contractor. He lives in Vermont.

Awkwaaaard. No doubt these two took a class trip minus the rest of the class to Brokeback Mountain in their senior year of high school. I mean jeeeez get a room. This isn't a bromance it's just two dudes that want each other. Springstein must have thought this guy was the coolest kid in school back in 32' or whatever year he graduated. But I guarantee this dude had no clue who Springstein was. Springstein got big, still wanted to be high school cool, and so he wrote a song about this guy. Clearly once this baseball player dude saw how big Springstein got he went from not remembering him to believing he was best friends with the guy. Classic case of you were cool, now I'm cool, if we're friends we can pretend we both have been and will be cool forever.

How about DePugh saying he genuinely loved Bruce. Like not just love but LOVE. That's pretty serious man, take it back a notch. And his wife started crying when she heard the song? What kind of bullshit is that? Like she's never heard the song before. "Oh my husband used to play baseball and Bruce knows him, I'm so wet I could cry. Ok now I'm crying" I admit its cool to have a hit song that's written about you but no need to pretend you didn't already know. You have to know right?

Either way, now that Bruce acknowledges the song was about this guy I'd be looking for some compensation. Friendship isn't enough. You know what's better than being friend's with Bruce Springstein? Cash. More importantly, his cash. I'd want a good 10% of whatever that song has grossed over the years. I'm claiming emotional damages because every time I hear that song it makes me think of when I tried out for the Dodgers and didn't make it. I'm coming after those millions Brucey, and I'm coming after YOU (but not in a gay way).

This is getting old...

2011-07-12T09:32:00.007-04:00

Just when I thought I was gonna get a chance to write about Good triumphing over Evil this happened....

A swift kick to the dick and here I am searching for ways to low ball a New York Yankees accomplishment AGAIN...trust me Gents, I enjoy this less than a colonoscopy performed by a blind guy but its relevant and a great show was put on last night at the Home Run Derby- its just a damn shame the way it ended.

So let's give credit where credit is due...

That's right, Adrian Gonzalez. (what you thought I was going to talk about Cano huh? apparently we have never met, I despise the Yankees and refuse to celebrate any minor accomplishment.)

Besides let's not get too excited this is only the second time the Yankees have beaten the Red Sox at ANYTHING this year...

Gonzo was putting on a fucking clinic up there and it looked effortless every time he swung the bat it was lights out- the guy was practically on auto pilot just crushing balls, balancing his checkbook, thinking of witty twitter updates, and wondering where he could get a decent burrito at after the trophy was on the shelf.

and along comes Robinson Cano and his Dad, "Terminator" did that guy crack a smile once? - your son just won the Home run derby, thousands of people are cheering for him, can you at least lighten up and enjoy the moment? no - I bet they threw a few hours of BP after the last light was turned out and even the janitor went home...

Side note- someone check on Cano, has anyone seen him since last night? I'm getting worried.

back to the grind here, I'm not gonna relive the whole sequence of events, but somehow or another Cano managed to put some stank on a few balls himself, and long story short this happened.

Now before Cashman or whoever is running the evil empire these days goes and locks down Time Square for a parade..understand this citizens of New York...

It is only the HOME RUN FUCKING DERBY!

You are still trailing the Boston Red Sox in the standings
You have yet to win a series let alone two games against said team this year
and have a few holes in your lineup/pitching rotation (hey who doesn't, yea Lackey I'm talken about you...)

So here it is Gents, we are over the hump, the All Star game is the last hurdle to clear before heading for home...October is fast approaching and its the Red Sox race to lose at this point, so sit back and enjoy the ride.

If it dont make dollars...It dont make sense!

2011-07-10T12:16:00.006-04:00

Follow up on the "3000 hits really bro? that's it?" story.

Since ESPN refuses to acknowledge there are other things to cover during this tumultuous time other than a herpes infested Dbag going yard for his 3000th hit of his career (really bro? that's it?) I have been force fed straight gaaahhhbage about how awesome this guy is...

I came across this lil gem and had to follow up on it,

"As a 23-year-old cell phone salesman, Christian Lopez had thousands of
reasons to hold out for the highest bidder on the baseball from Derek Jeter's (notes) 3,000th hit. In fact, some estimates put the ball's worth at $250,000, money that the recent graduate from St. Lawrence University could have certainly used.
And yet when New York Yankees officials found Lopez after he corralled Jeter's
historic home run, the only thing that the big Yankees fan wanted was to
return the ball to the man who had hit it."

What a complete dumb ass right? you'd like to think I would applaud this man for taking the high road here and showing some integrity when he lives in a cut throat city like New York where bums will slash your ankles as you walk down the street if you don't throw a few bucks in there jar, but seriously man what were you thinking?
You sell cell phones for a living, he makes Millions! you are not gonna make a life long friend out of this guy and drink beers with him on the weekends, its just not in the cards- I mean look at this picture of ol Dbag, can you see the excitement on his face as your sweaty sausage fingered hand completely engulfs his?

That's not the look of a guy that wants to name you god father of his first born. That's the look from a guy who just gave you hand herpes... get that shit checked out bro!

So this article got me thinking, wasn't it Dbag Jeter himself that said, "it isn't personal its just business." when referring to his contract negotiations in the off season? (yes in case you are wondering I have officially changed his first name to Dbag, it just sounds so much better than Derek, and well it fits.)So with that being said, this guy was well within his rights to hold out for some cash, hey bro - its not personal its business right?If I caught that ball, I'm getting paid simple as that.. you think you're getting this back Mr. 3000? how about 300,000 reasons why you should have it back...ready...Go!

Now don't go crying about "the integrity of the game" and how "he's a great guy and he earned it!"

Fuck that, and Fuck you if you think this guy is so awesome!

When is the last time a professional athlete did ANYTHING for free?

How much did Lopez's girlfriend pay for those tickets to go to that game?

here's my point, as spectators we are so wrapped up in how awesome these guys are but we don't realize this is a business to them, it comes down to dollars and cents, and if it don't make dollars...then it don't make sense!

So just like the closing scenes from one of my favorite movies,
Pay that man his money....

quit being a slouch

2011-07-09T18:10:00.003-04:00

Lazy eyes...they freak me the fuck out.

That's it bro...I can't think of a simpler way to put it, am I wrong? is it my problem that your face is conflicted as to which way to look? Fuck No, that's your bag of issues that you need to deal with- I look at you and am completely confused as to which eye to look at! you just made this all types of awkward for me, now I have to concentrate on NOT staring too long at one, because I don't want to make the other jealous.. am I guilty of being politically incorrect in this PC world we have created? I don't really care man. It's my right to discriminate as I see fit.

It's not often this shit comes up (actually I have worked with a guy that has a lazy eye for a while now, gaudin if you are reading this, I love you man but that thing freaks me the fuck out) but when it does, its quite obvious that my game has been thrown off, its really difficult to talk to someone when I'm trying to give each eye equal time- honestly, just tell me which one is dominate and we can stop this little charade.
I know its not your fault - and it comes with a bad stigma because of the name, like what heartless bastard thought attaching the word "lazy" to this would make it better? just gives the impression that these people are degenerates who don't care enough to fix the problem! How about, crooked eye, slanty eye, crazy eye? I can get on board with anyone of those... "Look at ol' Bill and his crazy eye!" anything but lazy eye, You wouldn't call someone born with Parkinson's fidgety fingers would you? - You're not helping the situation.
Back to my piece here...
I got nothing against people born with things they cannot control, I think it builds character, in fact there are alot of people out there that may be turned off by this article and I may just be getting hate mail in the next few minutes, (at this point any feedback is good feedback)
But let's be real people- This issue needed to be brought up and out in the open. If you or a friend suffers from Crazy Eyes you need to
(A)Unfuck your face.
or
(B) let them know that you find there face confusing.
You can always try donkey punching them from behind, you got a 1 in 10 chance of fixing the problem, at the very least you cause brain damage, and now we have a cross eyed drooling freak on our hands.
Now that is something I can get behind!

3000...really? that's it bro?

2011-07-09T16:34:00.003-04:00

Now before I go off on a little tangent, let it be known If this was anybody other than a member of the Skankees organization I would be ranting and raving about how incredible this accomplishment was, and you bet your ass if this was a Boston Red Sox player who did it, I would be calling for a ticker tape parade.

With that being said...really bro? just 3000 huh? you figured for the amount of money they pay your ass you would have alot more than that. Seriously lets break this shit down.
Derek Jeter came into the bigs in 1995 and since then has commanded a hefty paycheck $205,539,000 to be exact.(over the course of 15 years) so divide that by 15 and you get roughly 7.29 million per year, now keep in mind this is coming from the worst possible source for all things related to Math, so feel free to double check my shit and hurl insults in the comment box below.

so we now have to figure out how many games are played in baseball, 162 regular season games, now giving the Yankees the credit that is due (read FUCK YOU Yankees!) you have to throw in a few extra games due to there appearance in the playoffs and so on, so lets round that number up to a nice even 170 games per season, for 15 years.
Now we are looking at a different number, we have to divide his 7.29 million by 170 games and well you see where I'm going with this- fuck math, fuck Derek Jeter, and fuck the Yankees...
There I said it, we can sugar coat this with all the fuzzy numbers and break downs you want, but it really just comes down to the fact that I cannot stand to see a smug son of a bitch like Derek Jeter get his day in the sun, seriously I can admit it, doesn't ESPN have better things to cover? like let's talk the fact that David Ortiz damn near knocked someones teeth out last night, (oh for the love of all things Papi if he connected it would have been lights out) I'm done with this article, I just needed to vent, and the real reason I'm mad has nothing to do with the fact that he hit 3000 balls, its the fact that he gave Jessica Alba herpes- and that my friends over shadows everything you do for the rest of your life, oh you hit 3000 baseballs huh? here's some valtrex get that shit checked out bro!

Is David Stern Sneaky Brilliant?

2011-07-08T13:54:00.000-04:00

If you follow the NBA at all you know about the inevitable lockout looming. I am so sick of lockouts that I can't even watch Coach Carter anymore. I mean you make money by people watching your games and having them televised. If you don't play that can't happen. Therefore I don't understand how a lockout benefits anybody. But the commissioner of the NBA, David Stern, might have actual found a way to benefit from a just that.

When all is said and done I will undoubtedly remember David Stern as the commissioner that globalized the NBA. He gets a boner every time a TV turns on in a different country to watch a game (true story). So here's what I think (know) about this lockout business in the NBA...

There is nothing Stern would like more than to have this lockout. He knows his players will go overseas to play in places like Turkey, China, Spain etc. Now when they go over there they are going to be on loan basically because they won't make anywhere near the money they will here. So these teams that get the players like Kobe, Amare, Carmelo and more who already said that is what they will do, will sell out every game within minutes. Now you might be thinking "CT how does this help the NBA?" Well simple minded reader, what do you think will happen when these players return to the NBA? I will tell you. All those greasy Euros and billions of Asians are going to follow the NBA players that they got on loan for their hometown team. Can you say jersey sales? Can you say international TV deals? Can you say sneaky brilliant business plan? The NBA will lose money right away from their U.S. market but after a couple years they will recover and surpass that deficit immensely.

My guess is give it 10 years and the minority in the NBA will be American born players. I'm not happy about it either.

Reporter of the Week!

2011-07-06T16:47:00.000-04:00

Yup