As I turn the pages of life..

Look Ma no hands..

2016-09-19T12:56:00.001+05:30

I am on a high. Not the usual kind that one derives from smoking weeds or glugging a peg down and neither I have plonked myself on the tenth floor of the umpteenth luxury BHK of Bangalore; it is the high that came from letting a pair of hands go. Yeah, you read it right, but don’t jump to conclusions.

Actually, it all started some 24 years ago. For most kids, their parents enroll them into swimming classes in the summer vacation, and they are eager to go. For many not-so-willing kids, their parents insist. I belonged to the first category. Ever willing to jump into water and want to splash to my heart’s glory. Well, my parents had a different take. My Dad had this clear policy - where household matters were concerned, he wouldn’t interfere unless there was a dire need like life and death kind of situation. So I badgered my Mum. Initially the response was next year, and the next year it was the year after. Then the real excuses started – We live in a city, what’s the need to learn swimming in a city? Hardly any water body around! When I said that all my friends are off to learn swimming and they live in a city too, she said the Salt Lake swimming pool was too far away. Your Dad is out most of the week, I can’t manage so much. The final straw – Ma, you know the World is only one-fourth land and three-fourth water. The rebuttal was the most predictable one – Go and study, that will do you a ‘world’ of good. The truth is, of all the five siblings, she is the only who doesn’t know how to swim. She has an incredible fear towards water, and gradually, over the years she successfully passed the fear to me. I inherited her fear, but my mind still wanted to learn.

And more than a decade passed.

Year 2006: On one my regular walks, I see a huge poster hanging in front of the Koramangala Club: ‘Swimming Batch to start from….’. I promptly go inside, enquire the details. Classes are supposed to start in seven days. I figure out how to manage the time for those two weeks (Swimming class may not be a great excuse to leave early from office, but physiotherapy for an old pain in the ankle is!). I deposit the money, buy all swim-gear…and there I was all set! Well, fate once again had a different plan. Even before I started class, I had a sore throat & feverish sensation, and true to the symptoms, came down with a bad viral infection. I suspect that I tempted fate by lying about that sprained-ankle! All the dreams of being a water-baby gone down the…pool-drain!

Year 2013: I am in Adishakti, Pondicherry set to attend the ‘Source of Performance energy’ workshop. Voice exercises in water is a part of the curriculum. One doesn’t need to know swimming, but the pool is beautiful and the facilitators incredibly patient. I am told, that no one goes back without learning to swim. Well, there are exceptions – I did!

Year 2015: Flameback Lodges, Chikmaglore – After a long time I am back in the pool and of course, apart from throwing my legs in the water, not doing much. But, the old desire starts calling, and the moment I am back I figure out a coach, and there is the apartment pool. My friend Sushma says that he is an old experienced hand in teaching the likes of me. I call him – Our schedules don’t seem to match, but we manage to find a mutually agreeable slot. On the D-day, I find myself in the presence of a lanky boy, needless to say, much younger to me. Sir could not come, so he has sent his most trusted student who is coaching for the past 4 years. I am holding my breath, kicking, floating...all good, but not able to let go of his hand…yeah even on fifth day. Come to think of it, I have never clutched a man’s hand as tightly as I have Sajith’s! The fear ingrained in every cell, doesn’t want to let go of me…it has found a comfortable place to rest. I am about to give up…certain things are just not meant to be. On the sixth day, I am right there, planning a conversation in my head … ‘you know Sajith, this is not working out between the three of us…the water, you and me.’ But I find this beaming man in the pool waiting for me instead, and Sajith standing by, says… “Ma’am, here is Mani Sir”. I have a feeling Sajith gave up on me before I did. After the usual struggle Mani Sir worked magic in that very day… I started floating on my own, as if I was born to float! In his words, he unlocked the door of fear…and I gave up my inheritance.

Some inheritances are meant to be given away.

When My Mum called to wish me on my birthday a few weeks ago, I broke her the news gently…I was looking for an occasion actually. Her reaction… “Oh my god! Why are you learning to swim?? Pooja, be careful…water is very dangerous” Some things are never meant to change I guess!

These are my Memories of two-decade long struggle to learn to swim. And finally at the end it was much more than picking up a skill. It was about freedom.

Baba

2016-09-11T20:18:00.003+05:30

I am close to my Father, Baba as I call him. He is not keeping well for the past few years, and he remains at the top of my mind during the day. I have started noticing that Baba sneaks into most of the conversations I have with my friends and colleagues. Old age is difficult and old age in India is all the more difficult with hardly any social support from the Government. Anyway, I will save my rant about the Government and it’s inadequacies for another day. As I am growing older (I don’t know about being wiser) I am beginning to experience that love is synonymous with worrying. I found it frustrating and never understood it while I was growing up because I never understood the worrying bit; I am beginning to behave like a worrying parent these days; in a way, though not exactly, My Baba and I are going through a role reversal. And I hate it. I want him to be the stronger one. I want that space and zone unchanged. But I know that the roles are changing. It is so difficult to come to terms with it.

Ours is not just an indulgent father-daughter relationship. We bonded over many things, and then we differed too. Politics, football, cinema, books, his love for Liz Taylor (he was aghast when he figured that our neighbour has named his pomeranian ‘Liz’), Marxian theory of class conflict, geography, history, mental mathematics, our diehard belief that Geeta Dutt was far more talented than Lata Mangeshkar...to name a few. We visited Darjeeling with another family, who were our close friends; that was long ago, I was in my teens. We were playing '20 Questions' on famous personalities. Baba & I were in opposite teams. Every time I thought about someone, even before the third question was popped to me, Baba would make a correct guess about who I was thinking. I had to think really hard to out-do him. The other thing which is a glue to our bond is our love for shopping vegetables, fish and mutton. Even now, we go shopping together whenever we get a chance. He taught me how to figure if the brinjal has seeds and the fish is fresh and ask for those particular pieces while buying mutton. The love for such things has gone so much within me, that even today when I visit another city, another country I’d make it a point to visit the local market along with my love for places with historical significance. Yes, over pubs or nightlife.

Everyplace I go, I carry that childhood with me. Baba is not my hero, neither he is my best friend etcetera ...nothing so theatrical. But I know that there is no other soul in the world who wants my happiness and peace as he does. That is the envelope he & I live in. We have all come in this world with a confirmed return ticket. Yet we all live with a purpose, trying to make the most of this life. I ask myself what will be mine when he is no more. There won’t be any.

There are only onward journeys...never return

2015-06-11T14:32:00.002+05:30

This was preordained, just like ‘The Prodigal Daughter’ was the first Jeffery Archer I read; from the first library I held a membership of. That was years ago. Today it doesn’t feel real. Because it was not planned, it was preordained. Just the way I still feel connected to Florentyna Rosnovski. Just like another stranger of Polish descent I met amidst the books in British Library who went on to become a friend, and we spoke for hours without really knowing each other. It is the ‘connect’ that is around me without even me being aware of it…well not always. And today I sit at an airport café in Frankfurt, in anticipation of what awaits me.

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I slept through most of the flight. 3 A.M. flights are not a delight actually. In fact let me admit, that I actually questioned myself once, why the hell did I need to make this trip at all?! The feeling never lasts for more than a minute though! And then I woke up. Cranial Pain. Caffeine and Omelette. A Wes Anderson Movie - you’d never guess. The Darjeeling limited :) I laughed and laughed. no escape from India I guess.

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Frankfurt. Humming, and not buzzing. Just how the journey has been so far. When one cabbie stood me up, and the other turned up. When the rain came pitter-patter at midnight. The faces around me. Everyone of us in an onward journey.

the trail

2015-03-30T22:10:00.000+05:30

a year’s sabbatical it was; but then I have returned. like the way one returns to a road oft traveled in the past. the time away stretched way too much, but I am glad that I am back. I have no clue for how long though. but then, I often surprise myself. but then, it must have been love.

more often than not the things we end up not doing tend to be fulfilling if we figure out the courage to do it. we find freedom in what we do; like earning your own living; like creating a piece; like driving your own vehicle; like walking alone for miles in an unknown city; like discovering freedom from expectations.

like those numerous things that I didn't do. but I hope I’ll find the courage; tonight, tomorrow.

My conversation with Silence!

2014-04-20T08:31:00.000+05:30

This was in my mind for the past three years but as they say that the “time” had not come. Well, deciding wasn’t easy for there were enough barriers to consider before taking the plunge; 11days away from my World without an iota of communication wasn’t really an easy option for I-live-a-very-conventional-life type of person like me. Worse, it was very unnerving for the family and folks at work. Getting up at 4 in the morning was not encouraging either; and to add to it all 10 days without the mobile and without uttering a word did sound devastating for the mind. Yes…you read it right! 10 days of silence. To an outsider that more or less sums up Vipassana.

There are times in life when resolve gets the better of us, and better of the games our mind plays to sway us from thoughts of comfort. One such day arrived in my life.

Located in one of the rustic corners in the outskirts of Bangalore, my first impression was not really that great. The environment was not serene; the grass was brown, and there weren’t too many trees; but it is this same environment that I perceived very differently in a matter of few days…more on that later. What helped me to a great extent was that, there was close to a hundred people like me who have given up on fun & frolic (yes, we spent Christmas there!!) to work on their mind.

It was a conscious moment of surrender when I had to hand over my wallet and phone; my heart sank and I felt like a part of me being taken away…so tragic! We humans make material benefits an integral part of our “persona”, benefits that we did not bring into the World, nor we shall be able to take it along with us. As the evening slipped by and the rigor around the rules were pronounced, I could sense my mind’s desperation about the reality of the silent vortex. I told myself again and again…yes, I will make through it, I shan’t give up so easily!

The 4 A.M. wake up bell would be gentle and firm, it wouldn’t give up on you as much as you’d like it to. The cold winter mornings did not help the resolve, but there wasn’t much of an option but to stick to the routine. The breakfast and the steaming chai that followed a two hour meditation were much welcomed especially because it came after thirteen hour break from food. Over days I discovered that I never really enjoyed a shower in a long time as I did enjoy in those 10 days; now that I think, I feel it may be due to the fact that there was really no agenda for the day, the only agenda was ‘self’. Hours of meditation interspersed by small breaks. Lunch was wholesome and far from anything fancy. The last meal of the day was at dusk, and that was chai and some light snack. When the program is about to commence, the general view among all the participants was of great inadequacy of food but it just takes a day for our physiology to make peace with the frequency and timing of the food, and also realize how little we require for sustenance. It is a proven fact that after 10 days of Vipassana, the meditators come out healthy and happy. …and yes, among the hundred who attended the program with me, there wasn’t a single person who was taken ill.

What’s taught as a technique is so simple that it is terribly hard to practice; all one needs to do is watch one’s breath, feel one’s breath, feel the various sensations that we experience and not think about anything. It just takes a few minutes to figure out how weak our mind is. The mind truly has a mind of its own; it flits to the alleys of the past and meanders through the imagined corridors of the future. And one brings it back to the breath again, and again it flies away. I am sure every individual experiences differently, but one thing that is a sure outcome is the increase in awareness and the fact that the mind is a lot sharper by the end of the third day. Through experiential teaching, one is taught everything in this World is impermanent; how awareness and the ability to control reaction will make our life simpler and in turn make us happy beings.

The serenity brought on by the lack of outer communication is as unreal as it can be; for the outer calm ignites a volcano inside. I have never experienced such varied range of emotions in a span of moments. On the one hand there was shame, guilt, regret, fear and also joy and ripple of happiness; the past surfaced like never before. Tears welled up in my eyes for the people and the moments I have lost; my mind was truly mourning and then it was celebrating the small joys that lay buried deep down somewhere which I had completely forgotten. My conversation with myself began. It sank upon me gradually that in my thirty-two years of life, apart from the incidents that brought in sadness, it is my craving for something good that I felt, brought in misery. The urge to hold on to moments, people, material-benefits, causes grief…the simple wisdom if gained has the power to make us a much better person for our own sake.

The nature around us is changing every moment. The colour of the sky is changing, clouds travel from one part to the other, trees shed leaves and new leaves grow, tectonic movements are taking place under the Earth causing changes in the outer landscape. In our body, the cells are dying and taking birth every moment and a new ‘us’ is evolving with every passing moment, much against our knowledge. Why do we let our misery grow, why do we never realize that it is all impermanent?

10 tips for a Gorgeous Travel Experience!

2014-03-04T10:40:00.000+05:30

1. Politeness & Gratitude – Never forget to thank people, right from the crew at the airport, fellow-traveler to the coffee-shop guy. Great suggestions & unknown trivia come from least expected quarters if we have a smiling, grateful countenance.

2. Say “No” to distractions – Stay away as much as possible from all Social Media, & IMs. They are a completely in contradiction to “Being in the Moment”. Trust me, apart from the family & absolute few close & concerned, no one is really interested in knowing what you are up to!

3. Be Super-adaptive & learn to let go – Flights may not take off, the hotel room may be a lot more shabby than the pic they had in website and umpteen things may go wrong or digress from the plan. Take it in your stride. Accept it, & then it’s all fine. I have experienced some mind-blowing things when my plans have gone awry.

4. Stick to the local cuisine – The local food is best suited to the weather of the place and it is one way to experience a place. Never try to find comfort food when you travel unless taken ill in an unfortunate circumstance.

5. Eat less :) & drink plenty of water. Yeah, water… NOT aerated drinks. Staying hydrated is extremely important to adapt to a new place.

6. Walk, walk & walk. That’s the best way to figure out any place. At the end of the day, you would come across places that no guide book has ever documented, even the Lonely Planet guide.

7. Strictly follow the rules of that place (especially while travelling abroad). We Indians often make a mess of this one.

8. Avoid watching news. Nothing much would change if we are not updated with the World’s whereabouts for a few days.

9. Create beautiful moments as you travel. Surprise yourself. Do some crazy mad stuff. looking back it’s not the photos, but suddenly reminiscing the moments that would bring a smile to your lips.

10. Travel light. It’s so much fun to have both hands, if not, one hand free…I learnt it the hard way after paying excess baggage of 150 Euros…sigh!!

Pine Forests and Wild-flowers

2013-11-25T10:55:00.004+05:30

What happens when you just realize that this is the only weekend till next 10 weeks, which is somewhat un-engaged for the most of it? You choose a place near your city, figure out the logistics (especially a quiet place to stay), pack your bags & head straight for it! And that’s what I did…so what if it was a tiring Friday or a Monday that loomed large with an early morning meeting at 7:30 that I’ve to attend in person at office?!

For me, a weekend break is

1. I don’t have to put on my contact lens & brush my hair

2. I can take mindless walks without looking at the watch

3. I can curl up on a couch without worrying about the next meal or a to-do list

4. I’d be secretly happy that the data-connectivity is bad which means I’m not tempted to check FB & chat on whatsapp

5. Most importantly I don’t HAVE to do anything.

With a little less effort most of it gets fulfilled actually.

And hence I head out to the hills crossing the plains & the forests. The meandering Nilgiris Mountain train brought much joy. The 19^thcentury colonial bungalow was as cosy as I could have imagined…and a real fireplace with smell of the burning wood, in front of which I curled up most of the evening got me grinning like a Cheshire cat! I let my thoughts wander away to faraway places, people I love thinking about….the conversations that I have had with them and imagined I would have. When I saw a white-washed, red-roof house on a slope of a hill…I wondered what the owner must-be like, does he feel lucky that he smells the pine-forests every morning…what is his World like?

In my mindless walks, I stop by to pick up ferns and wild-flowers that’d be dried and kept inside the pages of my books…time will fly, there’d be work to do, milestones to achieve, more trips to make…but the brown colour of the ferns & flowers would remind me of those moments that photographs and written words fail to capture. So what if I am bleary-eyed on a Monday morning…it’s all worth it.

Tring Tring …it is the wake-up call!

2013-11-15T16:32:00.000+05:30

The alarm rang, as always by habit. I fumbled for it…something felt different. Yes, it is not my pillow & not my bed certainly. This bed is too soft. Oh yes…this is England…right! Arrived last night…& then hit the realization…I am on holiday, I don’t have to go to work…I mean I don’t have to go to work today, I don’t have to go to work tomorrow or day after or even the day after…oh damn! It doesn’t really feel as happy as it should! What does one do when there’s no work and no study either? I don’t know that life….maybe I should wear a nice dress, wear a smile & go out for a walk….Explore the World Pooja…I whispered to myself!

Summers in England are not really as warm as they should be and the mood swings of the weather is worse than a woman PMSing…any moment without a warning it’d start pouring! Did I really need this holiday, I wonder?!

I made way for a café. Okay…so the cheapest coffee is £1.30 ….rapid calculation inside the head, that would be Rs. 104…what if I have a sandwich too…so that’d be £4.80 in total…once again rapid calculation…Rs. 384…oh damn! Am not I spending too much?! Never mind, it is the first day & the Husband is earning in Pound Sterling! Scraping off the last morsel off my plate and draining the last drop of liquid I walk here and there soaking in all around me. Just in one corner, I see a theatre…if I stay back here, oh well, if I am ever allowed to stay back here, maybe I would perform in one of these theatres…I smile to myself…who needs logic while day-dreaming anyway! Then I spot a dome-shaped building. I walk in greeted by smiles. There is the young and the old; smart women and roly-poly Mums…whoa! A library!

“you mean I can take 6 books at a time?”

“There is no membership fee also?” I felt like they have pushed me in a heaven! Books neatly kept even better than the swanky stores in India…oh man! There’s Hillary Mantel’s latest!...oh god…isn’t that what Jeffrey Archer released last month?! Sigh…happiness…there’s a lot to do when one is not working and not studying after all!

Swindon…small town England. The trees. The cobblestone roads. The Parks. The Pubs. And the Library.

Change has to start from within your own threshold!

2013-01-13T20:59:00.000+05:30

“are you an Indian or a Pakistani?”

I looked up from the magazine I was leafing through sitting in Colombo airport waiting for my flight to London; not surprised by the question (I have heard it many times & not bothered to keep a count!); with a half-smile and a hint of pride in my voice I replied, “Indian”.

“It’s terrible ...what happened in your country! ...but I am sure there will be tougher laws now.”

He got my attention alright...a blonde with deep blue eyes wearing some illegibly scribbled print of a sweat-shirt...doesn’t appear to be the type who would take interest in India. I replied with a vague yeah, still wondering how he is tuned so much into us. As I reached England, I gathered that for days this has been in Top 10 featured news in BBC UK, and almost every casual acquaintance that I made mentioned it if the subject of India came through.

So much attention is disturbing especially because the focus is on something that I am ashamed about. The criticism mostly centred on the men, and how patriarchal the Indian society is. Human mind is weird; what I can criticise day in & day out rang bitterly in my ears when it came from outsiders, after all these men belonged to my land too, and it’s sad that I can’t even defend them. My thoughts then turned beyond the blame-game...is it just the men only to blame; don’t we women play a part too? Yes, we do...after all these acts of rape, bride-burning, female infanticide, dowry...they are not just mere acts but a thought process...a thought process that we women have nurtured, accepted for thousands of years!

There are umpteen examples in our mythology, but I wouldn’t get into those; let’s just stick to the contemporary times. The men who indulge into such acts don’t arrive from Mars! They belong to the households and families that we all women are a part of. So we do see such train of thoughts around us in our everyday life, and these thoughts are inherent behind any heinous acts. I agree it is a little difficult to accept and admit, but it is the father, brother, uncle, cousin, husband, boy-friend, neighbour, a fellow-commuter, an office-colleague who does harbour chauvinist feelings & thoughts; and when these thoughts become extreme, they turn into a brutal act. Why don’t we women protest when a male in our vicinity expresses some regressive thought that hinders the equality and respect towards women? I know it is easier said than done...it’s a severely patriarchal society, but only by seriously protesting & standing up to an issue, a change can be brought. I am not saying that all of us women should turn into an overnight rebel, but one needs to stand up when experiencing dishonour towards own self or womankind in general....strongly refusing to accept is the first step to any kind of change. We need to be vociferous when we see dowry given & accepted in our own families even though you may rub a few people wrong way....one would be surprised to know that a woman in the form of Mother-in-law or an elderly aunt are often as guilty as the men!

A quick tale – In a crowded street of a famous city, this girl was walking with her husband and a few other friends. She drifted a few feet away from the crowd, when three drunken men landed on her, mouthing obscenities and trying to grab her. Her husband saw it from a distance and scowled but didn’t really do much. She dodged and saved herself from those three hoodlums on her own. Her husband screamed at her later, ‘why can’t you stay close while walking?’ Yes, an MBA working with a foreign MNC, he saw her fault & not that of those rogues who troubled her. He failed to notice that those drunks had screamed obscenities or had tried to grab her. She is a woman with a mind of her own; she stood up to him & said, ‘all your protests for the 23-year old, a victim of lust, greed & frustration is limited to Facebook only...inside you are as terrible as any of them!’ The husband went quiet ...protest dear ladies, protest when you see any inequality meted out against your clan, even if it is it against your own people...change has to start from within your own threshold!

"Women do not get raped because they weren't careful enough. Women get raped because someone raped them"

2012-12-19T00:27:00.006+05:30

It’s quite some time I have penned something in this space...it’d have been nice to write something pleasant, but what the hell! It had to be this...

I had a nauseating sensation as the news channels poured in with the story...a horrible portrayal as minute facts were stated loud and clear! It is nothing new, happens everyday...this one is getting some attention because it happened in the capital. I can just hope that it won’t die a natural death like countless others...but whatever little attention it gets, it’s a hope for those numerous victims obscured in dust-laden files in police-stations!

When I see a child being force-fed, and the kid is resisting with all his/her might, I feel bad...for something is done against wish howsoever good the intention is; and when I think of a woman being taken and overpowered against her will when she is screaming, begging for mercy...and how? Just because nature has bestowed man with more physical prowess!!...it is sheer repulsive and pathetic...to say the least!

Rape is one crime where the victim is turned into an accused...it is her actions that is assumed to have provoked what was done to her! The whole argument is insane...yes INSANE! Would any woman do this to herself? Would she challenge a man saying, ‘show me ...if you can rape me??’ well, the deeper arguments are even flawed...the way she dressed, her visiting the pub late evening, her forward demeanour etc etc. ...are you telling me that man is not responsible for his action? And a mere external attribute of the opposite gender is enough to instigate his inhuman instincts?!

That’s just the crime part of it...the process of justice (if, at all!) is even more convoluted. Even if the criminals are identified, the system would ensure that they can get away with it for as long as they can...and by that time, the woman is either dead (if she is lucky) or scarred for life, physically and emotionally; the chances of a rape victim going back to a normal life is not zero, it is against plausibility in a country like India.

What good is technological advancement, and humans foraying into space if we cannot even ensure basic dignity to a human being of this land? What reflected glory do we boast about when, we take pride in sport victories and any other of similar kind if we are so lame about ensuring justice to a woman who has been wronged in the worst possible manner?! And it is the collective responsibility of the citizens of this land and the Government (including the opposition) to ensure that justice is meted out to each and every woman subjected to this severe trauma...and more importantly lay down punishment without any exception, that would shiver the hell out of any man, who would dare to harbour such lewd thoughts!

Let no other woman die a million deaths fighting the battle when no one pays heed to her calls for justice. For this 23-year old para-medical student, who had gone out to watch a movie, that night changed her life forever beyond hope! ...let there be no such nights in any other woman’s life ever...I hope some law-maker, policy-maker or someone in a position to bring in change will wake up to realize this!

Ruminating the Past!

2012-12-13T22:12:00.004+05:30

Going through old blog posts is like leafing through an old diary....a variety of emotions that I went through ... ‘Really, I felt like that?’ ... ‘Omigod! I had almost forgotten about this!’ ... ‘the day I wrote this, I was really happy...awww!’ ...and a variety of emotions, a chronicle of the mind and the times changing colours.

When the plane touched down....

2010-04-26T14:53:00.000+05:30

It was like coming home…I know, I know my Ma is not going to like it at all, but I just can’t help it! There is something about this city that so comforting, something that I don’t even know…yes, I can’t speak the local language, & I detest the local cuisine apart from a few exceptions…but I love the place & it’s not just the weather. In the past one year, everything seems to be the same except for a few flyovers of course! …and one more change, the Dude & I share rooms, kitchen & the rest…life’s good, more so that it’s in Bangalore…the hasty showers in the evening, the tree-lined streets, restaurants in every nook & cranny, the unbeatable traffic, appam & mutton stew at Koshy’s, window shopping at Forum….I am one happy soul!

Back from the voyage!

2010-03-25T23:11:00.002+05:30

After a long sabbatical, I am back! A very hectic but perhaps the most defining phase of life that I have gone through since moving out of home in 2004 when I got a job & started fending for myself. I saw myself adopting nearly a hundred relationships within a few hours of wedding vows. A few hours that helped me discover another facet of my own self. I went through the complete ritual (primarily because my Parents, the Dude & in-laws wanted it)... & I am glad I did...it’s an experience I recommend to everyone....don’t skip it, short-cuts can rob you from an enriching journey!

The Engraver

2010-02-03T02:45:00.004+05:30

Honestly, I was not sure what to write about him. This man has the most piercing eyes, that I can think of and he looks straight into the eye....His personality was no less than an artist whose work is showcased in an expensive gallery, hair dyed neatly with mehendi, he looked so much polished in contrast to the environment he is working!

Public-Private entente

2009-12-23T17:15:00.001+05:30

I studied Economics in College & University...not that I understand the mechanisms of the economy very well. While studying the role of Public Sector, I learnt that Private Players in any area – Infrastructure, Agriculture operate on the basis of market forces – Demand & Supply. The role of the Government comes in with a more egalitarian & samaritan flavour. Today, if I set myself in a venture, I would price my commodity or service with two simple objectives – Maximization of Profit and Minimization of Costs. As a private player, I am justified in doing so probably a shed more justified than the Government doing the same thing. But Honestly, I wouldn’t really mind if the Government too works on the same principle, because as an Economy matures, that should be the practice. The people should be that well-off to afford the goods & services at market price, and gradually putting an end to subsidized regime. But my problem is something entirely different...The Government is closing down its profitable concerns because private players are bribing them to do so! This is absolutely not acceptable....the private players want to have a greater market share, & they bribe the Government...who suffers....? Who else, but we!!

I’ll quote a personal example – There used to be quite a few state-run buses plying between Salt Lake & various parts of the City. For the benefit of those who have not been to Calcutta, these buses are fast, big, and provide the commuters far greater comfort than those belonging to the private players. The recently deceased Transport minister Subhas Chakraborty (God, rest his soul in peace!) shut them down gradually, and in turn made loads of money which I believe his family is enjoying presently. The kind of transport left has added to the woe, leads to increases misdeeds (the shuttle accident & molestation I am referring to).

Something needs to be done...and it’s we consumers who can do it. We can’t let these buggers get away with this!

Going Green - I

2009-12-08T17:46:00.001+05:30

The discussion happened when Avra came to invite me for his wedding...oh yes another wedding invitation to my endless list! He gave a neat wedding invitation-card, with an eager smile please-come type. I thanked & promised to be there to gorge on the food. After a while staring at the card, I remarked, “you know...you should not have...you did send me a mail & that was enough...no need for the card. These are only for that generation who do not use email...after all cards are wastage of paper....” He came up with the argument that most people do, "Cards are special, emails don’t give the same feel as card does...email is superficial ...." There must be millions of wedding happening every year, if everyone saves on at least two hundred cards....oh my maths is bad, I have no clue how many zeroes that will be, but I know for sure that a lot of trees will be saved!

Rendezvous with Auro

2009-12-07T12:40:00.004+05:30

A beautiful Sunday afternoon, truly well spent is how I would describe it. After a very hurried walk to the multiplex, My Ma & I was just in time to catch the 11:50 show. As every critic & audience agrees that Auro was fantastic & so was his Paa & Ma, and the dialogues were really good. Apart from these Balki has created some very touching moments in the film.

The scene where Vidya confides to her Mum about her pregnancy touched a chord. The scene was so well scripted. The Mother did not go into a fit of rage or throw tantrums, she boldly laid down the choice, and the good thing was she was not projected as a very bindaas Mother who accepts an error on her daughter’s part but a woman who herself has raised a kid on her own and talks it out with her...Life after all is a lot about the choices we make. Arundhuti Nag is a gritty & fantastic woman in real life, and Balki did a wonderful job casting her, as he had cast Zohra Sehgal in Cheeni Kum. The general rapport shared between Auro & the two generation of women has been portrayed so well, without emotions going overboard. On the same note, the scene between Arundhuti Nag & AB Jr. has also been done beautifully. When a woman faces hardships for a long time, she becomes strong from within...not easy to crack her then!
This movie was Vidya’s best till date, way better than Parineeta....Cheers to her! The kids were good; especially Auro’s best Vishnu...Balki sure has a way with kids.

A must watch Guys....you would not want to miss the movie that would bag highest number of awards...would you?

P.S.: A nice statement made about boundaries about states in India...we all know towards whom the comment has been directed :)

a head-less chicken, who doesn't want to run!

2009-12-04T14:12:00.002+05:30

It’s been mad for the past few weeks...so many things to do, & time’s running (time & tide waits for none is probably the most under-rated proverb!). The weekend is looming large like a scary giant, & though it’s Friday afternoon, I can already feel Monday breathing down my neck!

These days I am working out of the client’s office, & an extra dimension has been added to my commuting. I had almost forgotten what it is like to travel in the mini-bus of Calcutta, which can appropriately be termed as tin-dabba! Yes, the drivers in the initial hour ply the vehicle like they have gone for a stroll in the evening with their girlfriends which turns to an *** on fire in the later half! & poor me gets tossed & turned, with a huge laptop bag on my shoulders!!! If I appear 60 degrees bent, trust me it won’t be due to my bad walking posture!

After going through this all I crave is for a restful weekend...but, heck no! The whole world seems to be getting married now; almost every second day there’s a wedding/reception to attend! This weekend is no exception, as a matter of fact, both Saturday & Sunday is going to be there....Though I am a foodie, but after few such parties all the delicious stuff starts tasting the same! Moreover, presents have to be bought...so there I end up shopping when I am not attending the party!

I have promised Ma to take her out to watch ‘Paa’ and that’s one promise I better live upto....

The aura of stars

2009-11-21T23:05:00.002+05:30

I have had an account in Twitter for quite some time now, but it’s just recently that I have been active. I think it can be fairly attributed to Shashi Tharoor and his crass comment that gave Twitter the attention...and what I observe almost every B-Town, and net-savvy politicos are active, especially the tinsel town twittering is very pronounced. Now, if we take a look at the past couple of decades, the actors and actresses from B-town used to maintain a distance from common folk. That was the way they maintained their star-status. The media made them a star. Now-a-days thanks to Internet, and its access to one & everyone you get to know when they went for their head massage and where, what they had for breakfast, what movie they watched.....and the list goes on & on. The glamour is wearing off....& I hope it does.

Blytonesque literature

2009-11-19T14:54:00.001+05:30

She shipped me to a world where everything was perfect. The perfect summer holidays, with friends, a bicycle, a dog & a mystery. She took me through a boarding school on a sea-cliff overlooking the deep blue water, girls playing lacrosse in the evening, strict but affectionate teachers and naughty classmates. She whispered in my ears the tales of forgetful Mr. Twiddle, finicky Golliwogs, naughty Amelia Jane, impatient Fatty, astute Alicia, tomboyish Georgina. I longed to experience the English summer holidays, stay in a circus caravan to have a slice of the fun Jimmy felt. Her writings were as faraway possible from the British snobbery. She instilled in me a love for reading for which I am grateful till today. And BBC bans dramatization of her writings, saying it is ‘stilted and longwinded’.....but to this day her popularity has not suffered...I grew up reading Enid Blyton and so will my children!

2009-11-17T09:57:00.000+05:30

If you really hate someone what is one curse that you can throw to that person, that would make his/her life an incessant hell? .... a devil of a boss!...I am sure someone had cursed me the same!

.....God help Marathi Manoos!

2009-11-16T17:31:00.001+05:30

This subject has become especially close to my heart. My country witnessed discrimination based on caste & religion in the post-independence era which had its roots deep ingrained from the medieval ages and even before. I am not sure if prejudice against language existed but what is more alarming is that it is on the rise by the day! I am sure it was not this blatant as it is today by the sheer fact that we have a huge Marwari & Gujrati community in Calcutta, Bengali community in Bangalore, Telegu & Malyali community in Bangalore, Gujrati & Parsis in Bombay...& they coexisted happily...primary because it was one India! But things are changing now...to seek a job in Maharashtra, MNS demands that the candidate in question needs to be a Marathis Manoos! It’s all well & good as long as it is a demand, but now they beat up people, they indulge in the act of hooliganism causing destruction of life & property. Surprisingly from the recent elections it seems that there is a sizable mandate which supports their concern!
There are two questions that need to be addressed – First, who comprises of this sizable mandate? Secondly, how justified & logical is the demand?

To answer the first question, let me start with a quick story. I have a Bengali friend staying in Bombay for the past ten years working in a reputed company. Till the last elections held a month back, his name did not appear in the voting list. I am sure this is true for many such non-Marathi mortals who have been staying in Bombay for a considerable amount of time. They earn their living there, have invested in property, shed tears last November when terror struck...they are true Bombayites or Mumbaikars as you’d call them! But they are not able to exercise the constitutional right because of the logistic issue of not getting their names in the voter list. So we can safely say, that most of the common folks who go out to vote are the Marathis and a sizable population staying in Bombay missed out on the voting opportunity. Now I can name ten companies headquartered in Bombay whose CXO is non-Marathi. Would I be too wrong to make a statement that the a particular section of Marathis are falling behind in competition to grab top jobs, hence feeling insecure...and that is the reason why they vote for MNS. This section wants a quota for them because they are incompetent and a political party with discrimination based politics caters to their insecurity!

The second question is simpler...from the constitutional point of view, if the keepers of the nation had thought it was justified they would have introduced restricted mobility among states in India, and we would have required a passport to visit a neighbouring state. Besides, the constitution clearly states that it is a right to take a job, practice a trade anywhere within the legal boundary of India!

To Raj Thakre, Bal Thakre and the clan...who has sent their kids to English medium schools and spread the Marathi Manoos propaganda to keep their political presence alive....compete and win! Produce a Lata Mangeshkar, Sachin Tendulkar, Ashutosh Gowarikar, Madhuri Dixit, Vijay Tendulkar, Smita Patil and the likes, the entire India will pay homage to you....if the incompetent idiots demand preferential treatment, be in Bombay or anywhere in the World...all you’d get is a thumbs down!

Weekend Musing

2009-11-14T23:04:00.002+05:30

I watched Phir Milenge yesterday night albeit five years too late. I did watch bits & pieces before, but never got a chance to watch the complete piece. Revathi’s creations are food for thought and definitely a treat to watch. Apart from the awareness about the virus and fighting for one’s rights, there’s one more subtle thing the film touched upon. Being engrossed so much in our career, we lose touch with the reality...where the job never takes care of us. It is friends & family who are by our side through thick & thin. A boss or a co-worker however good he or she is, remains a colleague at the end of the day...so putting happiness & life at stake for the sake of career is a risk which not at all worth taking!
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Nandita Puri’s attempt to sell a few extra copies of her book though lurid publicity comes across as cheap and shocking. What length these people are willing to go for money & fame ...shame!

Life's Like that

2009-11-08T22:51:00.000+05:30

I have to learn a tool, more specifically ‘Business Objects’ in next 5 days, and implement it for a client and be perfect at the job....now how tough is that?

I set very high expectation among people around me, I am damn good for them and they are for me, as long as I am keeping up to those expectations...the moment I falter, I get the flak...how bad is that?

If you are incessantly ill, for no fault of yours...people are initially concerned, then sympathetic, then preachy, followed by indifference ending with blame (for unable to take care of yourself)...how cruel is that?

winter memories

2009-11-01T18:28:00.001+05:30

Gone are those childhood winter days. Ma would pester me for the shower I was not at all willing to take. But it’s true, after the warm shower which I took with reluctance I actually felt better. We’d bask in the sun after lunch in the balcony, the heat much mellowed down unlike that of the sultry summer in Calcutta. Ma peeled the orange & my eyes would sting from the water coming out from the orange peel. She used to say it is good for the eyes. I would play badminton with my neighbourhood pals in the dusty winter evening. Gone are those days....