Frugal Zeitgeist

Doing grown-up stuff

2013-05-01T21:17:00.000-05:00

This is where a goals recap post is supposed to go, but I don't think I'll do one this month. The short story is that I'm a little more behind on savings than I was last month (the Boston Marathon trip was budgeted, but it was still expensive), and I've knocked off one marathon out of the three I had planned. The second is this weekend, and I'll be glad to see the end of the spring season. I hope this one helps make the horrible events in Boston recede a little.

The biggest progress I made towards goals this month was to do something really grown-up and completely overdue: I finally signed my revocable living trust, pourover will, advanced health directive, and power of attorney forms. The hangup on my trust was that my co-op's attorney has very specific requirements for incorporating my apartment into the trust. While the lawyers were wrangling it out, I came across an article in the New York Times Real Estate section stating that due to a change in the tax laws this year, co-ops that are owned by a trust instead of an individual are not eligible for STAR tax abatement, a plan that cuts me a small break on taxes. (My building issues a shareholder assessment in the same month to suck that money right back up, so there's no extra cash in my pocket. This is pretty common in New York City.) I checked it out with my lawyer, and he confirmed the change. As a result, I decided that because of the tax implications, it would make more sense not to put the apartment in the trust at this time. That made it easy to wrap up the paperwork.

The next part is to move assets into the trust. I can't put my 401(k) or IRA assets into the trust, so I've been making phone calls this week to find out what happens if I make the trust the beneficiary of the 401(k) and IRA's instead of my designated beneficiary. I found out a few important points:

--If my designated beneficiary is a spouse, the assets can be left in the existing accounts, or placed into an account in the beneficiary's name. The beneficiary can then take distributions at any time after age 59 1/2, or cash it out as preferred. The assets would not be subject to probate.

--If my designated beneficiary is a person but not a spouse, the assets can be rolled into an inherited IRA or cashed out within five years. The assets would not be subject to probate.

--If my designated beneficiary is a trust, the assets must be cashed out by the beneficiary of the trust within five years, or systematic withdrawls need to be initiated within a year. There is no option for an inherited IRA.

Since these assets don't go into probate and the options are more limited if a trust is the beneficiary, I'm leaving them as is. This weekend, I'm getting my checking and savings accounts moved into the trust, and then I'll do the same with my investment accounts. It's kind of a hassle, but not nearly as complicated as I expected. My co-op will not be in the trust (for now, anyway), but even though it means probate, the pourover will takes care of it.

The next big grown-up item on my list wasn't on my goals list, but it should have been: I need long-term care insurance. Out of curiosity, I recently got my genotype done through one of the companies that does DNA analysis for both medical and ancestry results. I learned quite a few surprising facts in both areas, but what made me the happiest was the fact that I actually have less risk than average of developing Parkinson's and a whole host of stomach and bowel cancers from genetic causes. Apparently, I'm also highly resistant to the most common strain of the cruise ship vomiting and diarrhea bug as well. I'm not planning to take a cruise (no interest), but for some reason, I'm weirdly proud of that.

While there was nothing horrible and scary in my results, they did have a fairly sobering element: My genetic risk factors for two medical issues with the potential to be quite serious are higher than average, significantly higher in one instance. There's still less than a 25% chance of getting one of these things from genetic causes and less than a 15% chance of getting the other from something inherent in my wiring, but it's enough for me to get the religion about long-term care insurance.

I'm sorry I'm not going into detail any further on these risks. I might come back to this topic after I get long term care insurance, but there is no legal protection against genetic discrimination for long term care insurance in the US, so I don't think it's wise to say more right now.

I should also add that I don't think genetic predisposition is predetermination. For many serious medical conditions, there are a variety of environmental factors that can raise or lower risks. As a lifelong athlete, I have a really good shot at reducing my risk factors significantly, and now I'm more motivated than ever to stay fit and active. Nevertheless, though, I guess thinking about these things is what you do when you're ambling towards middle age. It all seems so grown-up, which made me think of this one-hit wonder from my youth. Sorry about the sound quality, but enjoy the '80's hair!

I can't stop thinking about it

2013-04-26T19:17:00.002-05:00

I can't stop thinking about the bombings in Boston. It's been nearly two weeks, and it's on my mind constantly. I'm sure the fact that I'm obsessively following the news (even though I don't have television) isn't helping.

I'm functioning just fine at work and sleeping all right. My relationship remains great, and in fact A. (love that guy) just landed a new job he really wanted today. I've had a terrible cold this past week, but that's pretty normal after a marathon. There were a few close calls among my friends (not me, not even remotely me; I was long past the finish and two blocks away from the blasts), but no one I know was injured. I just can't get it off of my mind: Every minute of every day, there it is.

I lived here in New York through the bombings on 9/11 too, and I don't think even that weighed on me as much as this does. The job stuff that's going on at the moment (waiting to find out whether my job will move out of state or not) should really be at the forefront of my mind, but it's not: I've been too innundated with work to give it much much attention, so I haven't been doing much on that front other than working every angle to give my team the best possible shot at not being forced to decide between moving and losing our jobs.

I'm not afraid to go back to Boston. I requalified for next year's marathon, so I already made hotel reservations at the same place we always stay. There are a lot of crazies out there, and what happened in Boston could happen anywhere. I just hate the fact that right now, I want to let it go and I can't.

Boston Marathon

2013-04-15T22:40:00.001-05:00

Yup, I ran it today. Thank you so much for the emails/comments checking in to see if I'm all right. It was quite good as races go, and I crossed the finish line well before the explosions. I was walking on Clarendon Street back to my hotel at the time, and it was obvious right away what the noise and smell were.

Many of my friends and teammates were there, and everyone is safe and accounted for. Quite a few people I know are still there, but I managed to get home tonight with my SO and another friend I went up with.

It's been a horrible day.

Controlling what I can, letting go of the rest

2013-03-29T17:42:00.001-05:00

The first quarter of 2013 is done and in the books, and it's been kind of a rough ride so far. Work has gone completely nuts, to the point where I was granted several emergency hires (two start next week, and the other two positions are still open), and I ended up having to cancel my vacation in order to put out fires. I haven't worked less than 65 hours per week in two months, and most of the time it's been much more than that.

Cancelling my vacation was a huge bummer. I was on the West Coast with my family celebrating my mom's 87th birthday, and I hardly saw her. Instead, I was taking conference calls at 3:30 a.m. and driving to Starbucks as soon as it opened so I could spend the whole day using their wifi. (They were very nice about it, though.)

Needless to say, none of this has helped my marathon training.

Also on the employment front, my organization is being impacted by major job offshoring and an in-country geographic move. I'm not worried about my team's jobs being offshored, but there is every chance that we will be asked to move to a flyover state I've visited once on business and in which I have no interest in ever residing. I've been working every angle to keep us all in place but after eighteen years with one employer, I'm facing the very real possibility of either having to move or lose my job.

I've been developing a new career path in hopes of moving to a different part of my company, but it's slow going and will take time. In the meantime, unless I do something horribly wrong or bad that gets me fired immediately (not likely), my job should be safe for about six months. After that, it's anybody's guess. As you might imagine, it's been horribly, horribly stressful. The boyfriend has been A+ supportive, but the whole thing has been really tough to deal with. Aside from the job factor, if I end up feeling I have no choice but to move, it's going to force us to make some decisions about our future that we are really not ready to make just yet.

On a more positive note, the stock market has totally rocked over the last three months, and my bottom line has benefited in a big way: In that time period, my net worth increased by over $82,000. $11,000 of that has been from paycheck money I dumped into IRA and investments, $4200 (I'm rounding) has been from Roth 401(k) contributions, and $4500 has been from deferred matching 401(k) contributions for 2012 from my employer. The remaining $62,000 has been from stock market growth, bringing my net worth excluding real estate to over $817,000.

I know it's not realistic to expect that level of growth to continue for the rest of the year, but as it stands, I have an off chance of hitting a million in investments and cash before the end of December. This is especially gratifying considering that I got spanked pretty hard in taxes after gritting my teeth and converting more than a few years' worth of non-Roth IRA's to Roth, which is a perfectly legal, backdoor way of funding a Roth IRA even if you don't meet the income restrictions.

Anyway, I can't control what happens in the stock market, just as I can't control what happens with the future of my job (although I'm not giving up trying to influence it). I'm trying to just stay the course and keep doing what works for me.

That brings me to the real reason for this post, an update on my 2013 goals.

Save $65,000
I'm behind by $1000 now, up from $200. This is primarily from the nasty tax bite I had in late February, and also because my dental insurance company has been holding up a claim I paid up front due to lost paperwork. It's resolved now, and I'm awaiting payment. I'm not sure if I can make up the deficit, but I'm going to try.

Create a revocable living trust
I finally received the first draft from my lawyer last week, and it needed some revisions. I have the second draft to review this weekend. I also did a pourover will, an advanced health care directive, and a durable power of attorney. Once the trust is finally established, it'll take the rest of the year to move my assets into it.

Save for periodic expenses in advance
Yeah, haven't done a thing on that.

Don't buy any work dresses
I've been buckling down about buying anything in the way of clothes, and that includes work dresses. I did, however, buy a 2013 Boston Marathon jacket because they're so much nicer than usual.

Lose eight pounds in January, and ~~four~~ nine thereafter
I did it. . . I lost seventeen pounds! I'm surviving the Sugar Challenge (no processed sugar) so far too, but I've had a few periods where I almost cracked. My weight is up about four pounds but the absolute worst of the non-location-related work chaos has receded, so I'm taking a break for a few days and then recommitting next week.

Work from home twice weekly
Still doing pretty well on this one, although I've had a few weeks where I've had to be in the office every day. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Working remotely has vastly improved my quality of life, especially when I'm working twelve to fourteen hours a day.

Run three marathons
Boston is two weeks from Monday. It may not be the race I was envisioning, but I'll get through it. I'm starting to feel the burnout, though, so I'm reassessing how realistic it is to hit my bucket list goal of twenty by the end of next year.

How did the first three months of the year treat you?

January goals review

2013-02-01T09:44:00.000-05:00

Yikes. Where did January go? Time to do a progress check on my 2013 goals. Here's how it's all going down so far:

Save $65,000
I'm a little behind on this one, $200 so far. I pulled a little money out of savings to add to my regular investment money in order to max out my traditional IRA, so I did that and then converted it to a Roth the following day. I'm shoring up my savings again, but so far I'm $200 behind.

Why am I behind? Well, I spent money that I didn't need to spend, and I had a great time doing it. My s.o. (let's call him A) and I have thoroughly enjoyed Restaurant Week in New York and went to a few places we've been wanting to try. In addition, I lost weight and bought new clothes, but some will need to be returned (being short and finding jeans that don't drag on the floor, aren't mom jeans, and don't create horrific buttcrack is a real problem!) so I might recoup the $200 before too long.

I should add that the increase in payroll tax has reduced my net income by close to $200, which is slightly offset by the increase in pretax withholding for commuting expenses. I really don't like the idea of reducing my goal to accommodate this change, since I know I have plenty of discretionary spending that I could cut. I'll keep the savings target as it is for now, but perhaps revisit it in a few months.

Create a revocable living trust
I got this rolling, so it's in progress. At the moment, I need my co-op attorney to detail out the building's requirements for the trust, and then my estate attorney will put it together. The co-op attorney is on vacation for another week, so hopefully I'll get the document finalized by the end of February. It'll probably take the rest of the year to move all my assets into it, especially since I need a new proprietary lease issued by the co-op board in the name of the trust.

Save for periodic expenses in advance
Uh. . . . haven't done this yet (see the part about going shopping!). This is where my tax refund will be going, though.

Don't buy any work dresses
Technically I've succeeded on this one so far because I haven't bought any work dresses, but I think that's because the goal itself is too narrow. I missed this month's savings goal because I bought jeans, pants, and workout clothes. . . lots and lots of workout clothes. I might redefine this goal next month to expand it beyond work dresses because even though I'm following the letter of the goal, I'm absolutely finding ways around it.

Lose eight pounds in January, and four thereafter
Revised this goal from twelve pounds to lose to seventeen (sob). It was worse than I thought! That said, I've dropped thirteen pounds so far. I'm sure at least three to five were water weight, so I'm not concerned about how fast I've done it. Four left to go, and I am feeling better in every way.

A new sub-goal to come out of this is the revival of the Sugar Challenge. A little background: I have a serious sugar jones and no ability to exercise any sort of self-control or moderation with it. A few years ago, I went a full year without eating any sweets and almost no processed sugar. After an excruciating six weeks of withdrawl symptoms, I started feeling better and it made a huge difference in my energy level, blood sugar stability, ability to maintain my weight, and overall well-being. After a little over a year, I tried a cookie to see if I'd finally kicked my sugar demon, and it was like the whole prior year had never taken place: I quickly spiraled out of control and couldn't regain it.

For some reason, in the first week of January this year, I managed to go through a few days without processed sugar without any cravings. I decided to try a few more days, and then a few more . . . and now it's been just under a month and I still don't have any cravings. It seems to make sense to keep going, at least for the remainder of the year.

Work from home twice weekly
I'm doing pretty well on this one: I'm holding to two days per week at home, and most nights I'm actually getting to bed by 10 or 10:30. Along with the weight loss, the extra sleep is making me feel much, much better.

Run three marathons
The first one (Boston) comes up in 10 1/2 weeks, and the second is three weeks later. I've put in my first twenty-mile run of the season, and although I still have lingering injury pain (which can last up to two years with this type of injury), I'm running strong and getting faster. I'm taking a speed class once a week, and that's motivating me to really push myself.

All in all, it's not a bad start. How are your goals going?

By the way, I received a request from a longtime reader to remove the captcha feature on comments because it's creating difficulty for her in commenting. I did and immediately got spam-bombed, so I've put it back on. I'll look at alternative commenting systems when I get a chance (I know intensedebate is a popular one), but I appreciate your patience in the meantime!

Did anyone notice this?

2013-01-08T07:36:00.001-05:00

Apparently, the fiscal cliff deal included a provision to allow existing traditional 401(k) accounts to be converted to Roth 401(k)'s. Like the traditional IRA conversion, which allows people who exceed income limits for contributing to a Roth IRA directly to back-door fund Roth IRA's by contributing to traditional IRA plans and then converting them into a Roth IRA, taxes on the traditional IRA are paid up front, and then future growth is tax-free.

You can read the details here. As always, the caveat is that a Roth isn't appropriate for everyone: It makes sense primarily for individuals who expect their retirement incomes to be higher than their working incomes. In addition, the benefits are skewed towards the younger generation in that longer time horizons until the retirement mean more opportunity to take advantage of the power of compounding.

I've put this on the list for things to ask my accountant about at tax time. My employer has offered a Roth 401(k) for several years, and just under 50% of my 401(k) is already in Roth accounts. My traditional 401(k) has close to $200,000 in it and the tax bite will be a big one, certainly five figures. Before doing any kind of a conversion (which isn't available yet anyway), I need to be sure it makes sense. Hopefully the decision will be a lot clearer for other people!

Spice girl

2013-01-06T16:36:00.000-05:00

Living in a small space in New York, I do relatively well at keeping my clutter to a minimum. I have a few ongoing hot spots that need regular maintenance, (front closet; drawers with workout clothes), plus a couple of other spaces that I really don't touch as often as I should. On Friday, I decided to tackle the worst offenders in this last category, one of the kitchen cabinets and the bathroom medicine cabinet.

I knew I had some expired spices in the kitchen cabinet, but I wasn't really prepared for what I found. I had expired spices, all right: ALL of them, aside from two that I know I bought in the last few months. While I don't think expired spices are harmful, they're not going to help me cook the way I want to because the flavors will have degraded. In addition, just the thought of knowingly using expired spices is off-putting. Most really weren't that out of date (I would use anything expired less than six months ago, since the food banks I volunteer at use that as a benchmark for safe consumption), but the worst offender was really, really bad: It was black mustard seeds that I bought while traveling in Europe in . . . 1994.

Yep, 1994.

In my defense, I haven't used the mustard seeds as well in so long that they might as well have not been in there for ten years or more. Same goes for a couple of the other second-worst offenders. There's no point in having them there in any case, though, so I tossed them along with all the rest and recycled the containers.

I've decided that my strategy for spices will be to rely on fresh herbs when it makes sense to do so (i.e., when I can use the entire bunch without throwing them out), and otherwise rebuy dried spices slowly, on an as-needed basis, and in very small quantities, preferably in bulk. I've read mixed information about whether keeping them in the freezer is beneficial or not. I suspect moisture could become a problem, but as long as I keep them tightly closed, I doubt it'll be a major issue. In any case, what I was doing before clearly wasn't a good use of cost or space, so this is an area where I need to make a change if I want to plug a financial leak.

The bathroom cabinet was more distressing. When I have long-term prescriptions, I tend to reorder them as soon as I can, whether I actually need to or not, so that I can have the cost covered through that year's flexible spending account. As my medical needs changed or failed to keep up with the amount of inbound medication, however, expiration became a problem here as well. Expired medication I got rid of on Friday included prescription acne treatment (no longer needed), asthma medication (no longer needed), asthma inhalers (which I do need, but four out of six inhalers expired long ago), and stacks of cream for a bad bacterial skin infection I had quite a few years and doctors ago.

The waste on prescriptions bothers me: I have medical insurance and I'm grateful for that, but my co-pays are high for brand-name medicine, and most of what I described above doesn't have a generic equivalent. Going forward, I can't think of any way around this other than not stockpiling beyond what I need for the next few months, regardless of what's left on my prescription. In the meantime, I'm considering it an expensive lesson learned.

Looking forward, looking back

2013-01-02T17:00:00.003-05:00

Happy new year!

2012 was a year of ups and downs in many different ways. On the positive side, I finally started feeling secure enough about my job to challenge how we do some things in the organization, and the ideas I've been bringing forward are starting to gain momentum at the executive level. I also was able to hire four people for my team, and that's huge. Being able to be a job creator is one of the most satisfying things about my job. We have so much work to do that I'm expecting to be able to hire between one and three more people this calendar year, but it's a balancing act: I'm always mindful that if I tip the balance too far, I'll have to let people go, and that's something I really don't want to do.

Another job-related boost was that after the hurricane, traffic got so bad that I finally announced to my boss that if anyone's looking for me on two particular days of the week, they'll have to look at home because that's where I'm going to be. In reality, it has to be a bit more flexible than that, but working remotely more has improved my quality of life greatly. It's also in keeping with my organization's drive to reduce real estate costs, so I'm hoping to make it a full-time, permanent gig in the next few years.

In the meantime, my relationship hit the twelve-month mark in late summer and is still ticking along really well, and I'm incredibly happy about that. My significant other changed jobs to one with a horrible commute (so he's looking again) but with a ton of additional responsibility and pay. He also finished an Ivy League Master's degree a couple of months ago while working full-time. I met his entire family at a family wedding in the fall, and that really was a wonderful experience as well. It didn't motivate us to hurry things along as far as our own status is concerned. We're in our 40's, we both need a lot of space, and neither of us wants children, so there's no real point to getting married. (As of yesterday, though, we wouldn't get killed in taxes if we did eventually decide to take the plunge.)

On the financial front, I watched the whole fiscal cliff debacle avidly. I'm not looking forward to going through this again in a couple of months when spending comes back around, but I absolutely believe the economy would have tanked today if a compromise agreement hadn't been reached. As for the agreement itself . . . well, you know what they say: Compromise is the art of making sure that nobody's happy. As it is, the major indexes closed 2-3% up today, and I'll take it.

My own personal finances were mixed. My one goal for the year was to hit $65,000 in savings, and I missed that by exactly $2000. I know the main culprit: My mom gave up her townhouse for assisted living, so I'm paying monthly rent in a shared house in my hometown at the rate of $200 per month, or $2400 per year. I totally don't begrudge her this, or the money I spent on six cross country flights last year: She slowed down drastically and lost the last of her vision in the last several months. The more I can do to make this time count, the better. Despite having missed my savings goal, however, my investment returns did really well, especially my 401(k), which was up 18% for the year. As a result, I reached and slightly surpassed my goal of a total net worth of $735,000, not including the value of my home.

I realize that the goal of $735,000 is kind of a chimera: It's a goal that relied on really solid stock market performance, and that's mostly out of my hands. I can only control what I can control, and that's making sure my portfolio is well-diversified and that I max out 401(k) and IRA, and save as much as I can otherwise. I like having high-level goals, though, and I finally feel like my next major financial milestone is in sight: As long as we have decent (not stellar) returns in the stock market in the next couple of years and I keep saving more than half of my net income, my portfolio excluding real estate might actually hit a million by the end of 2014. (It's already there if you count real estate, but I don't include my primary residence as part of my investments. Just a personal preference.)

I said it was a year of ups and downs, and there certainly were a few less than bright moments. As I mentioned above, my mom is really slowing down. She's 86 now and has a very strong interest in life and will to live, but she's lost most of her mobility, along with her sight. I've never seen her tire as easily as I have in the last two weeks. Several of my friends lost parents who were much younger than my mom this year, and that makes me all the more keenly aware that anything could happen at any time.

Another not-so-wonderful experience this year has been one of the more serious running injuries I've had. I did a solid marathon in May after a miserable experience in 89 degree weather in Boston, but I ended up doing my third marathon in 2012 as a combination of walking and slow running after tearing some abdominal muscles (don't ask; it was a gym injury) and creating a series of microfractures in one of the important bones in that general neighborhood. The injury was diagnosed in July and I'm still dealing with it today. I'm doing less running and more spinning and weightlifting, but without question I've gained weight and I'm not happy about it. I have three marathons on deck for this year, and I'd really like to run them decently.

Hurricane Sandy didn't really impact me directly other than losing transportation for a few days, but I can't write about lowlights for the year without mentioning it. Many of my friends and colleagues went through an awful time, and there are still plenty of people suffering. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this is the new normal for this part of the country.

Finally, this is really not horrible, but rather so-so: Like everyone else in the work force, I'm officially paying 2% more of my salary to payroll taxes for Social Security, which completely nullifies this year's pay raise. I actually don't think funding Social Security is a bad thing, though, given that I have a rather vested interest in seeing the program remain solvent. Since that's the only tax hike I'm facing following the fiscal cliff negotiations, I'm actually fairly okay with it.

Since I think I do better with formal goals articulated, I put together a mini-list for 2013. Here's what I'm aiming for this calendar year:

Save $65,000
Between losing my pay raise to taxes and paying rent in a place I don't actually live, it's going to be a stretch but I think it's a worthwhile challenge. I have the advantage of being able to cash out 100,000 air miles this year, so I'm not going to be spending as much on cross-country trips this year as I did last year. This goal also includes maxing out 401(k) and IRA at the higher 2013 limits and doing an IRA conversion to a Roth as soon as I make the deductible IRA investment.

Create a revocable living trust
This is a huge area I've neglected in my financial planning, on the grounds that I don't have any dependents. I have enough saved up that it makes sense to structure my (eventual) estate so as to avoid probate, though, so I signed up for my corporate legal program so I can access estate planning services without paying through the nose for them.

Save for periodic expenses in advance
Like everyone else, I have expenses that hit only in certain months (charitable contributions, homeowner's insurance, and so forth). I usually end up shorting my investments for that particular month to cover the expenses, even though they are perfectly easy to anticipate and plan for in advance. For 2013, I documented all of the expenses I can think of that hit only once or twice per year, along with the expected cost. Since I now have a clearer idea of what to expect and when, I'm going to divert any money I can squeeze out of my not-so-formal budget each month to savings so that I can build up a reserve fund to cover these periodic expenses, while maintaining effective dollar cost averaging for investments.

Don't buy any work dresses
It's a weaknesss. I have plenty; I don't need more. I just need to fit into the ones I have a little more acceptably.

Lose eight pounds in January, and four thereafter
I should add that I'm a little scared to weigh myself, but I will tomorrow. This goal sets a progress rate of about two pounds per week through January, which should be achievable through activity, sensible eating, and using a tracker to capture calories in and out with a daily baseline of 1500. A few mini-goals that devolve from this one include not buying ice cream at home since it's a major trigger food for overeating; limiting alcoholic drinks to two per night, two nights per week; and limiting sweets to once per week, with a conscious effort to avoid junk sweets and save the calories for the good stuff.

Work from home twice weekly
This is a work-life balance issue. It's harder than it sounds, but I really want to stick to this schedule. I'm more productive, I save money on transportation even though I spend more on electricity, and I just feel better having a reprieve from a really awful commute. I'll continue working remotely for a week at a time while I'm visiting my mom, but I start my workday at 3:45 a.m. local time when I do that, and that's harder on me than the daily commute here in New York. A mini-goal that devolves from this one is to get to bed by 10:00 p.m. (10:30 p.m. latest) the nights before I work in the office, since I have to get up before 5:00 a.m. those days.

Run three marathons
I'd like them to be good ones, so I'm really trying to put this injury behind me.

You'll notice the absence of a blogging goal. I'm feeling the itch to write more, so it may be that I end up posting more this year than I have in the last couple of years. No promises, though.

Here's hoping that everyone had a tranquil end to 2012, and that 2013 brings joy and happiness to all.

Yay! I'm underinsured

2012-11-16T10:34:00.002-05:00

Ahem. . . I finally have some stuff to talk about.

I bought my homeowner's co-op policy right after I closed on my co-op eleven years ago. At the time, I did a cursory comparison shop and then grabbed the cheapest standard co-op policy I could find, just so I could move in knowing that I had coverage. Going back and reviewing my policy has been on my to-do list for a long time, but it always seems like I'm too swamped to do it properly when renewal time comes around. As a result, I always end up renewing the standard policy and pushing the review to next year's to-do list.

A year and a half ago, the sensor on my washing machine that tells the machine to stop filling conked out while I was running a load. The washer was quiet, so I didn't realize that anything was awry until my neighbor's dog ran into my bedroom and came back soaking wet.

There was a hell of a mess to clean up, but I was extraordinarily lucky that my floors weren't ruined. While I was in the middle of the cleanup, though, I found out that the water was also pouring into the elevator shaft and running over the control panel. The super took a break from fighting the water to tell me that any lasting repercussions, up to and including an elevator replacement, would be on my dime.

THAT was almost enough to make my heart stop.

Thankfully, the control panel dried out without any damage. Again, I was extraordinarily lucky.

You would think that would be enough to motivate me to review my policy and adjust it as necessary, BUT NO. I just carried on without doing anything.

Fast forward to October last year.

I came home after an evening out to a street full of sirens, flashing lights, firetrucks, and neighbors running out of the building in bare feet. It turned out that my neighbors a few doors down the hall had experienced an electrical fire caused by a plugged-in appliance while no one was home. I actually got a photo of a huge backdraft shooting out of a window after a couple of firemen kicked it in.

As you might expect, my neighbors' apartment was completely gutted and uninhabitable. The building lobby was destroyed by both fire and water, and the damage ended less than five feet from my door. My apartment stunk for a couple of weeks, but there was no lasting damage. Once again, I was extraordinarily lucky.

For the next eight months, walking through the lobby looked like walking through first a war zone, and then a major construction site. The neighbors had their apartment rebuilt at the same time and only recently moved back in.

You would think that would be enough to motivate me to review my policy and adjust it as necessary, BUT NO. I just carried on without doing anything.

That's horribly irresponsible, right? I'm not normally like that (if anything, I'm a little overly conscientious about anything that impacts my bottom line or risk factors that could affect it) but for some reason I just didn't want to sit down and go over my homeowner's insurance. The long-lasting impact of the fire and the horrific renovation costs both within the apartment where the fire started and in the lobby have stayed with me, though. This year, when my renewal came through, I sat down to review my policy thoroughly. A few of the numbers I saw scared me:

Building property protection: Covered up to $4,700
Wow. I am seriously underinsured here. That's not going to cover a lot of damage if I have a fire!

Personal property protection: Covered up to $47,000
I don't have a lot of valuables, so that's actually more than I need. As it turns out, though, dropping coverage below $45,500 in this area will convert my policy from replacement value to actual cash value across the board. In other words, if something bad happens, everything that's covered by this policy will only be covered at the 2001 value because that's when I bought my apartment. That's not smart, so I'm leaving this one as is.

Additional living expenses: Up to 12 months
No change needed here.

Family liability protection: $300,000 each occurrence
My building wants $1,000,000 coverage, so I'm short here as well.

Guest medical protection: $1000 each person
It's low, but I don't have a lot of risk factors. I'm okay with this.

Loss Assessments: $1000 each occurrence
I didn't even know what this is. It covers individual shareholder assessments, which are temporary costs assessed by the building above and beyond standard maintenance costs. My building is quite good about avoiding assessments, so I think it's fine to leave this one as is.

I called my insurer to run through a few scenarios and found out that upping my building property protection to $150,000 and my liability to $1,000,000 will nearly double my base costs. I already have the highest deductible available ($1000) and all applicable discounts from having a doorman and smoke/carbon monoxide detectors, so there's no way to bring that number down any further. I also called around to other insurers to see if anyone else would be more competitive. To my surprise, my current insurer offered the most competitive rates across the board, even compared to policies in which I could bring my deductible up to $5,000 or $10,000.

I called my insurer back and made the applicable changes, effective on the date of my policy renewal. I'm screwed if a fire breaks out between now and mid-December, but after that I'll be sleeping a lot better.

Do you have renter's or homeowner's insurance? If not, why not? If so, do you feel that you're adequately covered, or do you plan to make changes on your next renewal?

YOLO! (sort of)

2012-07-18T14:35:00.001-05:00

I can't believe that more than half of the year is over already. Summer is half over as well, and like usual, I worry that I'm not taking enough advantage of it. It's hot and disgusting, but I'm dreading shorter days, cold winds, and above all, snow.

I've had a very decent first half of the financial year. My calendar year 2012 savings and investment goal is $65,000, and I'm $900 short of being halfway there. (I'm not counting the $6000 gift repayment windfall towards meeting this goal, but I invested the whole thing as soon as I cashed the check.) Thanks to cashing in accumulated cash-back credit card rewards, I'll be able to close the $900 gap by $500 this month. My FICA taxes are paid up for the year by mid-October, so barring losing my job or something big and expensive happening between now and the end of the year, I'm on track to hit $65,000 by the end of December, with one caveat: I have to maintain focus and not start slacking off!

In case it's hard to tell, I'm on fire with savings and investing again. One new variable this year that's making me work a little harder at it is the fact that since my mom gave up her independent living townhouse in January, I now have to pay rent on a place in my hometown. I lucked into a really outstanding arrangement that's only costing me two hundred dollars per month, but between that and higher gas prices coupled with frequent travel to see her, it's a lot more money out the door for family stuff than I was spending a couple of years ago. I don't mind at all, but it means I have to be more creative and stretch a little harder to hit an aggressive savings target.

Another cost center is my better half. We've taken a couple of short trips this year, and we have a long weekend away coming up. We also go out for dinner at least a couple of times per week, although we have started cooking together from time to time on the weekends. (I can't get him to eat in when it's like a furnace outside, though!)

Being black-belt frugal with a husband who decidedly was not of the same mindset didn't kill my marriage, but it certainly hurt it. One year into this relationship, my significant other and I are serious. We're not talking marriage, but I think we're in it for at least a reasonably long haul, and in fact more and more I'm starting to believe that I've found the love of my life. On that basis, I've decided that spending a little more money than I would do if left to my own devices is an investment in the relationship, and that investment is well worth it to me. I also keep reminding myself that it's not all about living for tomorrow. My parents gave me a GREAT start by paying for my undergraduate education, but I sacrificed a heck of a lot in my 20's and 30's to put myself on a solid financial footing. Now that I'm hitting midlife, I want better balance. To that end, as long as I'm debt-free, employed, and planning well for the future I want, having fun today counts for a lot.

Another reason for wanting more balance in my life is that I see my mom's life gradually drawing to a close. She's doing significantly better than she was a few months ago, but the aggregate changes in her health over the last twelve months have been immense and very much for the worse. My gut feeling is that while she is stable now, that can and very probably will change in an instant sometime down the road. I don't think she has a whole lot of time left, so I am not going to put off any opportunity to give her enjoyment today. (YOLO, Mom, YOLO!!!)

I realize that everything I just wrote about where my spending has increased sounds like it doesn't map one iota to saying I'm doing well on aggressive savings, but it correlates better than it appears. Prioritizing my spending the way I have has actually helped me keep on track with my savings goal because spending mindfully on the things that are important to me (my mom, my relationship and our travel, plus the occasional manicure!) makes it a whole lot easier not to blow money on things that don't matter.

How did you do on your financial game plan over the first half of the year?

An excellent kind of closure

2012-05-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

Remember about a year ago, when I lent (gave) my New York mom and dad $6000?

Today, they paid me back in full. The check came in a card that just said "We love you."

I don't care about the money; I never expected to see it again anyway. I know what changed to make it possible for them to repay me, though. I hope it will keep them solvent for the rest of their lives.

Fake millionaire

2012-03-14T07:07:00.001-05:00

[Blowing off cobwebs]

Hi there, internets. How's it going?

This is the first time I've visited this blog since, well, since whenever I last posted. Haven't checked the email account, haven't done squat. Instead of writing about my financial life, I've been off living it, and that's been pretty groovy.

A few things have changed since I last posted. Here's a brief roundup:

--I fell in love, big, big love. It wasn't with the Australian guy I started seeing last May: He's very charming and we had unbelievable chemistry together, but among other things, he turned out to be completely crackers. After a few months that started out great and then got very, very bad, I pulled the plug. We tried to evolve into friends a little while after that because we missed each other (remember, chemistry), but he just can't function without generating drama. In the end he began interfering in my new budding relationship, so I cut him off entirely.

I met someone else in August, an American this time. We had a shaky start, but somehow it caught fire and now I can't imagine life without him. There are so many things I could say about him, including the facts that he's six feet tall and very handsome, but the most compelling for me are that he's a good man and a grounded one, with a heart the size of Texas. We've cautiously started circling around the idea of moving in together once his lease is up in November. November's a long way off, but right now shacking up is on the table as one of a number of different options to consider as the time draws closer. I think he's thought a bit beyond living together, but I'm not really ready for that conversation yet and I don't think he is, either. There's no rush, anyway: We're in our forties and neither of us has or wants kids, so there's no reason to make life-altering decisions prematurely. In the meantime, the relationship continues to grow at a pace and in a direction that feels like home for both of us.

--My mom's health took a dump. She is now nearly blind, in a wheelchair, and showing the onset of dementia, and all of it was triggered by a series of infections. Some days are good and some are bad, but I'm so thankful that she has onsite 24-7 assisted living in her retirement community: She will never live independently again. I wasn't actually sure she would make it to her 86th birthday, but she did and has been doing incrementally better since then. She gave up her townhouse (ever moved a lifetime of stuff in six days? I have), which makes visiting as often as I do both expensive and logistically complicated.

--Knocked off another marathon, for ten total. I have three lined up for this year and I'd like to do a couple more after that, but my body's starting to tell me that I need to make some changes. I've been rehabbing a couple of chronic injuries in physical therapy for months now, and I'm going to have to find a way to manage them because they're not really going to heal.

--My job became my angry job on steroids. It's harder than heck because of all the politics and I'm putting in huge hours, but it's good in a way: Somewhere in the dysfunctional shards of what was once a pretty good organization until it was restructured into god-knows-what a few years ago, I've finally found my niche. I'm in a two-year sweet spot where my pension grows at an unusually fast pace, so I'm determined to stick it out for a while yet. Thirteen more years will give me a decent income from age 60 onwards, and it's harder and harder to contemplate walking away from that.

--I spent a whole lot of money last year. After a tough couple of years at work and with my mom's horrible stroke in 2010, I thought a little more engagement with the present took precedence over the future planning I was doing, at least for a while. It was fun. I'm pulling it back into balance in 2012 because I feel like I'm out of whack on the wrong side of the save-spend equation, and that's not a comfortable place for me.

--Goal setting. I should get back to that sometime. My one concrete goal for 2012 is to save $65,000 and invest $70,000.

--Other than one or two I pop in on periodically, I don't follow blogs anymore. The landscape has changed: I think a lot of people who started around the same time I did have dropped by the wayside, and that's okay. I haven't looked for new blogs to follow; it's just not a priority.

--Last but not least, and thanks to a strong stock market recovery in the first two months of the year, I reached one of my major financial milestones today: Once the sum total of my cash savings and investment portfolio hit $650,000, I became a Fake Millionaire. I call it that because once the approximate value of my apartment after transfer fees and flip tax are deducted is factored in (my conservative estimate is that I'd clear about $350,000), my net worth is a million. The reason why I think it's a false construct is that although I know a lot of people count the value of their primary home as part of their net worth, I don't. To me, it's a place to live and I'm always going to have to live somewhere, so I don't think of my home as an asset that I'll ultimately cash out.

Nevertheless, the idea of being worth a cool million is pretty neat.

I'm arriving at this goal a few months later than I had hoped, but after the economic bloodbath of the last couple of years, I'm glad I stayed fully invested in the stock market even if I didn't add to my investments as much as I should have last year.

My next financial goal is to hit a million in investments and savings alone, and I'd like to get there before I turn 46. I'm 43 now, so I won't hit my deadline without some pretty aggressive saving as well as continued positive performance in the stock market. I've engaged financial advisory services through one of my investment companies in hopes of getting some guidance on simplifying and streamlining what I have, and I have a second meeting with my assigned advisor next week. Should be good fun.

As far as blogging goes, I'll stop in here from time to time as I feel like it, but the spark I had before is gone. One day, you might find that the blog is suddenly gone as well. Part of it is that every day I feel a little more robbed of my privacy, and that bothers me. My first and last name together are a little uncommon, so it's easy to search on my full name and get meaningful results. I've received a couple of unwelcome contacts thanks to busybodies from the past digging through search engines, so I've had every identifiable listing I could get my hands on removed. (Those online "directories" are a disgrace: Public information or not, no one has any business aggregating personal data and spreading it out like a buffet table for any old crazypants stalker to find.)

Largely thanks to social media and online shopping, data mining is faster, more accurate, and a lot sneakier than it was just a year or two ago. I realize that privacy as a concept is outdated, but I have a hard time letting it go and embracing a world where no one has a filter and everyone knows everything about everyone. Knowing that I can't keep my identity from being outed makes me a lot less willing to write openly online about my life, and about my finances in particular.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't use social media or shop online. It's fun. To the limited extent that I do it, I really enjoy it. If you choose to use it, though, never forget this: Once information about you reaches the internet, you can't pull it back. In addition, if you use social media, always be mindful that you are what's for sale.

I don't want to end on a somber note. My mom is stable for now, and although it's been a tough transition for all of us, she's living in a place where she gets the ongoing care she needs. My sibling and I still have a contentious relationship, but for now we're mostly in a state of detente. I've taken a step back on a couple of friendships, but others have deepened. Life is rich and rewarding, and I'm deeply in love.

As always, I'm bullish on the future.

Oops, guess I should put a title in

2011-07-07T11:30:00.003-05:00

Yikes. It's July. How's your summer going so far? I've had some ups and downs over the past six weeks or thereabouts. In no particular order, here they are:

Family
I came out West for a planned working visit a few days ago. The day after I arrived, my mom's ability to function took a dramatic turn for the worse. She has Parkinson's and recently shifted from cane to walker, but overnight she suddenly became completely unable to walk or stand on her own. Sibling and I took her to the emergency room once it became clear that this wasn't going away, and we were glad to find out that there were no signs of another stroke. Mom did have a bad bladder infection, though, and unless the neurologist turns up something else today when he examines her, there's a strong probability that the bladder infection is the root cause of Mom's overnight loss of function. She's been doing better since going on antibiotics, and she reluctantly agreed to move to assisted living on what is hopefully a temporary basis. In the meantime, I'm working from 4:00 a.m. until early afternoon, spending the rest of the day with her, and then catching up in the evening. My sibling will be able to stay her longer due to a planned extended vacation/leave of absence from work, so I'll most likely be returning to New York this weekend even though Mom's not likely to be released from assisted living for some time.

Job
And why is it so important for me to get back to New York? We're going through another reorg at work, so I need to be visible even though there are no plans for layoffs in the works as far as I can tell. After nearly two years of constant reorganization, however, I'm pretty burned out and ready to accept whatever happens.

Relationship
A couple of months in, things are pretty good with the Aussie so far. We survived the first idiotic fight, and we're learning to catch cultural things that impede communication fairly quickly. One potential issue I see looming on the horizon is that we are very, very different when it comes to money. I'm not sure I'd call it a red flag at the moment, but its something to keep in mind if things start heading in a more serious direction. To put it succinctly, he makes a lot, but he also spends a lot. You know that's really not how I roll.

The more immediate challenge is that he's has had a steady stream of family visiting over the past few weeks, and although I've been invited to lots of things with them, the limited time to talk and spend time one on one has made things a little harder. I started feeling a rift that probably isn't actually there, and I think it's both because of the lack of time together and because while he's swamped with family obligations, my mom's problems are taking a heavy toll on me and affecting how I'm perceiving everything at the moment. We'll see what getting back to normal living brings.

Health
Ran the Boston Marathon in April; I requalified for 2012, but wasn't happy with my time. I signed up for a second marathon only six weeks later, and in that one I ran a personal best of just over 3:30. I promptly got sick with a respiratory infection right before an out of state relay in June, which made that run all kinds of interesting. I'm over it, but still coughing (thanks, asthma!). I also gained a few pounds, and the knee problem that has been hanging around for the past year and a half has become much more acute. I'm supposedly doing a marathon in early October, but my mileage and fitness level have both dropped precipitously. I'm still planning on doing it but not expecting any miracles, especially with knee problems, lack of training, and the fact that this will be my fourth marathon in twelve months.

Money
Haven't been saving as much as usual. Part of that is because of the unexpected expenses I wrote about in my last post (a $6000 "loan" [really a gift] to my New York parents and well over $2000 on a new washer and dryer), but I've also been traveling a lot (six trips since January, five of which involved airline tickets). Spending time with the Aussie has also meant much more eating out than I'm used to, but he's one of those guys who strongly prefers to pick up the check. There is a very big difference in our incomes, but it's still very hard for me to let someone else pay all the time when we go out. I do grab the check on occasion (never in front of his friends), but I can tell that he's not particularly thrilled about it. In any case, while going out for dinner frequently has been decidedly bad for my waistline, it hasn't had a lot of impact on my bottom line. Travel and the unexpected expenses I described are by far the primary culprits.

That sounds a lot more Debbie Downer-ish than I meant it to. I'm actually fairly optimistic that my mom will recover enough to be able to resume independent living, though I don't think it'll happen as soon as she expects it to. As for the rest of it, the big picture is that I don't have a lot worth expending energy worrying on, so I'm doing my best to focus on the important things and let go of the rest.

What's going on with you right now?

Well, hi there

2011-05-25T18:07:00.003-05:00

It's been a while, so I thought I'd drop in again and give you the highlights about some things that have happened recently.

First, I took two reasonably significant financial hits. Remember my New York Mom and New York Dad? They're an older couple I rented a room from as a grad student, and I secretly bailed New York Mom out some years ago with a few hundred dollars when she overspent. (This couple has never been able to manage money.) New York Mom also had a major, major health crisis and nearly died a couple of years ago, so I pitched in with a lot of logistical and emotional support during that time.

Well, I got a call from New York Mom and New York Dad a number of weeks ago. They asked if they could borrow some money because of a cash flow problem. They inherited an apartment from a friend they cared for when she was ill for a number of years, and it's been on the market without selling for quite some time. They never changed the way they spend, and I think they also made some sort-of investment decisions with property in Florida that are inappropriate for how they live and how much money they have. They hit the wall and ran out of cash, and from what it sounds like, they were about to lose property as a result.

I asked how much they needed, and New York Dad said "Ten thousand. . . maybe twelve thousand?"

In other words, they had no idea what they need.

I needed 24 hours to think about this and talk it over with my sibling, who is really good in these situations. In the end, I decided the following:

1. I offered $6000.
2. It's a gift, not a loan.
3. This is a one-time deal and it never happens again.

They accepted and insist that they'll pay me back, but I know it won't happen. I'm actually fine with it; the only thing I find slightly galling is knowing that some of it will go to support their slackass daughter (Grifter), who still has no real interest in getting a job even though she's getting divorced, since it's a lot more fun to be a mommy.

(By the way, what does it say that this nice couple came to me for money and not their own two adult children??)

I know I'll probably be pilloried for doing this, but there have been times in my life when people have helped me out, i.e. my parents giving me the boost I needed to pass my co-op board financials when I bought my apartment. I have enough to help them, and my gut is telling me it's the right thing to do. We'll see if that's how it really plays out.

The other financial hit I took is that my washing machine finally died, and in a most dramatic fashion: It flooded my bedroom as well as the basement. I was extraordinarily lucky that there was no permanent damage to the electrical panels in the elevators, as that would have been my responsibility to fix. I stayed up late researching compact washers and dryers (since the dryer is 27 years old), and the next morning I sailed out to a store in the neighborhood and bought Bosch replacements. There's not a huge market for compact units and these have the best consumer reviews, much better than the Maytag, LG, and Whirlpool equivalents I looked at. The two machines plus taxes, installation, new outlet (Bosch hates US outlets), unexpected extra costs based on the old dryer not being up to code (!), and removal of the old units came to $2360. Ouch.

I tapped my emergency fund for both of these major expenses, so there was no question of either racking up debt or liquidating investments. It means I've had to divert new money into rebuilding my emergency fund, but the fact that I had the money is peace of mind like no other.

And finally, the third major event: I met someone. For some reason, I have (ok, the right word is probably had) a lot of readers from Australia; I hope you folks in particular will be pleased to hear that he's Australian. He came here a few months ago on an expat assignment with a one-year visa that's renewable indefinitely. It's early days yet, but so far it's been fantastic. That's about all I want to say about him for now, but the spark is definitely there, and it's there in a really big way.

If anyone's still reading, I hope all is well and that your own personal economic recovery has legs. Back again when there's something else to report.

Here but also sort of gone

2011-04-03T13:09:00.003-05:00

Hi. How have you been?

Looks like I haven't posted since 16 January. I don't really have an explanation for that other than that I just ran completely out of steam.

The time away has been nice. Sorry, but it has.

In no particular order, here's some of what I've done over the last eleven weeks of radio silence:

--Turned 42
--Broke a rib
--Made a really good new friend
--Deepened a couple of other budding friendships
--Visited my mom out West
--Signed up for a 200-mile relay in Utah this summer
--Saw live music
--Went to a lot of neat places I've never been, including an absinthe bar
--Started going out with friends much, much more
--Maintained my lower weight/smaller size
--Learned to bake the very challenging French macarons
--Continued shopping unrepentantly for smaller clothes (I spent a crapload of money on things that look great and fit beautifully, and I don't regret it one bit.)
--Bought a load of moderately priced and very beautiful craft jewelry from independent artists
--Finished heavy training for the Boston Marathon
--Worked up to 100 push-ups a day, split into two sets of fifty
--Started dating online (and oh my, is THAT ever a freak show at my age!)
--Got my job reclassified as a much bigger position with more responsibility (no extra money, though)
--Arrived within striking distance of my unofficial end of 2011 net worth goal

Things I did not do over the past eleven weeks:

--Blog
--Check email for this account
--Read any blogs other than two or three I've followed for a long time
--Set any goals whatsoever other than maintaining my weight loss and saving $65,000 this year

My unofficial end of 2011 net worth goal is unofficial because it depends less on my own diligence in savings than it does on a robust stock market. Thanks to the market recovery, however, I'm close to hitting a major milestone early: Savings and investments plus the estimated value of my home add up to just shy of a million dollars.

Some people count equity as part of net worth, and some don't. I don't, so I don't count myself as someone approaching millionairedom. If all goes well, that'll happen in the next several years. For now, though, my perspective is that things aren't as hard as they used to be.

I don't know when or if I'll feel like coming back to the way this blog was before, but I'll check in from time to time. When I hit a milestone, I'll definitely post it. For now, however, I've got an avalanche of work coming down on me, a very full social calendar, and a marathon in two weeks.

Anything neat going on in your life that you want to share?

Food for thought

2011-01-16T15:37:00.007-05:00

After I posted my weight loss photos, a commenter asked me to write a post about what I eat. The answer is pretty simple and probably pretty boring: Mostly whole foods that I cook myself. I've found through trial and error and error and error over the years that I'm very sensitive to sugar and other simple carbs, and that they cause my blood sugar to whipsaw all over the place. I simply function better on a moderately low-carb eating plan.

There's a little more background to my eating habits that I should explain. Because my mom experienced dangerously high cholesterol in the late 1980's, my entire family adopted what was then called the New American Diet plan and eliminated egg yolks, oils and fats, and any kind of meat other than poultry and fish (and I rarely eat fish myself). In grad school, I was too broke to afford chicken or turkey on a regular basis, so I started following Dean Ornish's vegetarian plan. This turned out to be a mistake, as I was hungry all the time and became severely anemic. After a year and a half of mostly miserable struggling and weight fluctuation, I went back, more or less, to the still carb-rich New American Diet plan.

You know, that one just never worked for me that well, either. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who function great on high carb intake, but I'm not one of them.

After coming to the conclusion a few years ago that I feel better with more protein and fat in my diet, I relaxed my categories of food intake considerably. I like eggs, nuts, and avocados, so I eat them in moderation. (Unlike the Dean Ornish days, there's medical evidence to suggest that the heart-healthy benefits of these kinds of fats overwhelmingly outweigh any dangers.) I like lean ham and the occasional slice of bacon, although I only cook the turkey kind. I've never cooked red meat, but I'll eat it at someone's house. Similarly, although I only ever ate whole grain bread, I've cut my bread intake way down. I used to bake bread every week and I love the taste of it, but I have a good friend who convinced me that I have an undiagnosed food allergy to something in it, because more than a couple of slices per day makes me puffy all over for several days. Since cutting way back on bread, I can't deny that I'm much less puffy all the time.

My real food bugaboo, however, is sweets. I gave up sweets for a full year in 2009, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. The first time I had refined sugar after that, it was like I had never stopped. I've found, however, that the cravings are manageable with a higher protein intake (and if I don't indulge, they drop to non-existent within a day or two) unless I have PMS. PMS results in much worse sugar cravings and usually one to two bad days of indulgence, so the only answer for that is to make it as difficult as possible to give into them by not keeping any sweets at home.

So, back to what I eat. Here's a typical day for me:

Breakfast: 1/2 cup of old-fashioned oatmeal (which *can* be cooked in the microwave) with either 1 cup of blueberries or 1/2 cup of pomegranate seeds

Snack: One hard-boiled egg with salt

Snack: One peanut butter sandwich on whole grain bread, using one tablespoon of peanut butter. (This is my entire bread consumption for the day.)

Lunch: Four to five ounces of grilled chicken (or ham, or one chicken sausage, or several small turkey meatballs - whatever adds up to about 200 calories), with raw carrot sticks and raw red, green, orange, or yellow bell pepper - preferably a mix since the colors are so appealing

Snack: One large apple, or three clementines, or one banana, or one other similarly-sized portion of in-season fruit

Snack: 1/4 cup of almonds, pecans, walnuts, or mixed nuts. (I try to skip this one, but I always have it with me at work in case I need it.)

Dinner: It varies, but usually something like spicy vegetarian or chicken chili, pot pie, whole wheat pasta with green vegetables and sauce, turkey burgers and vegetables, turkey meat loaf and vegetables, or something else that I've cooked and frozen in advance so I can just grab it out of the freezer the morning I need it.

When I was losing weight, I stuck to 1500-1700 calories per day, bumping it up to 2500 once every week and a half to two weeks to accommodate dinners out with friends, bad PMS days, or days when I was just absolutely starving for no apparent reason. I also worked out a LOT, primarily running and weightlifting (thank you to the commenter who mentioned my arms, by the way. I was so gratified to see my guns come back so quickly!), with a little yoga thrown in when I had time.

Since then, nothing has changed other than the fact that I'm eating around 2000 to 2400 calories most days. Some days I go overboard, especially since I've been eating more sweets than I should over the past couple of weeks. (More on that in my next post.) When that happens, I usually pull back the next day to balance out my intake. My weight has been hovering between 138 and 142 but I'm spending more time at 142 than I'd like, so I'm actually going back to lower calories for the next couple of weeks to bring my average down to my original target, 140.

That's my food life. There are some other things I did to lose weight that made a major impact on my progress, and those are worth sharing as well. They were:

Stop hitting the candy bowls at work
There are many of them, and they are always full. When I start indulging, I can't stop. One of my best friends at work is a guy who perennially has ten pounds to lose, so we made a deal: No candy at work for either of us, and we each get to keep the other person honest. Believe it or not, it worked and is continuing to work.

Stop hitting the vending machine at work
I got into the habit of grabbing a 3:00 snack when I got tired, and it was always something nasty like chips or a candy bar. Like the candy bowl situation, I had to go cold turkey. I started bringing a hard-boiled egg to work every day and eating it relatively early, and my blood sugar and energy levels are much more stable now than they were before I started doing that.

Bring lunch to work every day
I've done this my whole adult life anyway. It's something I started because eating out is expensive and not that healthy relative to what I can make myself, so this was no hardship. Bringing breakfast and lunch from home and cooking dinner at home most of the time are healthy (the way I do it, anyway) and save a ton of money, both of which are so very good for my frugal heart.

Plan
I plan my food intake (including calories) in a spreadsheet one day in advance. Sometimes I need to make adjustments, but seeing the big picture helps me know where I have room to modify. Doing this even though I'm not officially losing weight anymore helps keep me on track.

Weigh in daily
I weigh myself every day, and I graph the results. It's a crazy-ass line, sometimes shooting up or down four pounds in a day. Seeing the fluctuations helps me not get discouraged because I know it'll change a day or two later. Several days of sustained increase also serve as an early-warning system, telling me that I need to pull back for a few days or risk gaining again.

It was hard to acknowledge that exercise alone wasn't enough to keep my weight where it should be, but for me weight maintenance falls into the realm of Failing to plan is planning to fail. I'm really enjoying looking and feeling better all the time, and it's not something I want to let go south again. Just for fun, here's a shot of where I am today, featuring really awful hair and a dress I bought on clearance for $34 to wear at an upcoming formal event:

What tips and techniques do you rely on to manage your weight?

Update

2011-01-09T21:47:00.002-05:00

You know that January goals post I usually put together? Haven't done it yet. Still thinking about what I really want my goals to be as opposed to what I feel they should be. I think that's part of why they fell apart last year, aside from the major unexpected events that happened.

In other news, we have a stopgap solution of sorts cobbled together for my mom. Thank you so very, very much to everyone who responded with suggestions and concern. While I was out West, we got a booster for the toilet seat and had platforms built to go under the sofa and recliner so that my mom can get up more easily. I was so embarrassed: The workmen who custom-built the platforms refused to accept a cent of payment for either labor or materials. All we could do was send a thank-you card to their place of employment, and we did that right away.

We also worked very hard on the other piece of the puzzle, buy-in from my mom on making changes to help maintain independence. To that end, we got her to use a walker inside the house (which is a townhouse in a retirement community) instead of a cane when she's unsteady. She was in the habit of asking my sibling and I for an arm when her balance was off because she hated the walker, but we decided that instead of lending her an arm, we would bring her the walker instead. She didn't like that at first, but after realizing how much easier it is to get around, especially when she's alone, she got on board with the idea. She still won't use the walker outside the house, which is when she needs it the most, but we're working on it.

Similarly, we got my mom to wear the support stockings she's supposed to be wearing to keep her ankles from swelling, and the improvement was drastic. She doesn't like them, but she grudgingly acknowledges that they make a huge difference in lessening her ankle swelling, so she's putting them on most days even though it's a struggle. We also got her in the habit of putting her feet up in the recliner, although I'm not sure whether she's still doing that consistently or not.

Finally, my mom is supposed to be doing strengthening exercises for mobility, and she hadn't been doing them for quite a while. We got her in the habit of doing them while we were there by doing them with her, and now we follow up with her daily to make sure she still does them. She hates them because she feels they're too elementary, but they are appropriate given her age and physical condition.

Things we haven't succeeded in getting my mom to adopt thus far include Kegel exercises for bladder strengthening (she has no interest in these at all, despite her bladder weakness - which she's determined to ignore altogether at the moment), and an alert necklace in case she needs assistance and can't get to the phone. Since my mom had a couple of weeks of not having to use the phone to call either me or my sibling, she's suddenly having much more difficulty using it. As a result, we're hoping to get her to bend on the necklace next weekend.

It's not a great situation, but it's better - for now. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping nothing bad happens.

Going back to the goals part for just a second: Any suggestions from you on what goals I should have for 2011? I have a few in mind, but I'd like to hear what you think I should aim for. Thanks a bunch in advance.

So long, 2010

2011-01-01T22:18:00.005-05:00

2010 wasn't the greatest of years by a long shot, but it wasn't the worst it could have been, either. Since my goals for 2010 stopped being relevant a long time ago, I'll just do a quick summary of the major events that made up my 2010 story:

Highlights
Saving
The one goal from 2010 that remained relevant all the way through was my savings goal of $63,000 in total. I managed to exceed this one, finishing out the year at $67,000. This includes my 401(k) and IRA contributions, as well as taxable investing. I probably could have come close to $70,000 had I not done some major crazypants, self-indulgent personal spending in November and December, but I'm really pleased to have beaten my target.

Net worth
Thanks to nearly 20% return in most of my investments this year, I achieved my secret net worth target of half a million dollars excluding real estate in November. A buoyant last six weeks in the stock market added just shy of of $25,000 to that figure, which is a great way to start my 2011 financial goals. I also felt confident enough to up my charitable giving and move some of my three years of cash reserves into bond funds. I still have fourteen months' worth of expenses stashed away in cash just in case, though.

Fitness
I gained twelve pounds relatively early in the year, but I managed to lose it by the end of December. I know I'm up a little bit at the moment after overindulging this past week, so it's time to get back on the wagon and stay there.

Work
I still have a job, and after foregoing raises due to the economy last year, this year it came with a 4.5% raise.

2011 Boston Marathon entry
Despite a disappointing fall marathon, my qualification from 2009 is still good. The Boston Marathon sold out in a record eight hours this year, so I feel pretty darn fortunate to have gotten my entry in.

2010 wasn't all good. Here's where things didn't go so well:

Lowlights
My mom's stroke
I really can't articulate how bad this was. She was lucky that it happened when and where it did, because she had the best possible shot at full recovery. While it looked like she did achieve full recovery early on, over time it became obvious that there is some permanent impairment. Add that to her existing health problems, and you have a situation where she is rapidly declining and not willing to make many changes to accommodate the new normal. (I'll cover this topic in a little more depth in a follow-up post.) She reminds me of my dad at the beginning of his last decline, and it's scary. All I can do is continue to do the best I can for her and hope it'll be enough.

Relationship tanked
I actually had to debate about whether this belongs in the highlight category or the lowlight one. It's a highlight in the sense that ending it was the right thing to do, and my friends were amazingly gentle and supportive when I needed it most. I don't think the ebbing of love and final extinction is anything other than a lowlight, though, so here it is.

Crappy marathon
It wasn't the race I trained for, but the photographic evidence sure shocked me into making some positive changes. I'm looking to redeem myself in Boston this year.

Blogging
I mentioned a while ago that I want to take this blog in new directions, but I'm stalled on a plan. I also seem to have less and less time to write these days, to the point where I feel out of balance. I have a feeling that this is going to end up in my (late) 2011 goals somehow, but I haven't quite figured out how to make that happen.

On the whole, there was much more that was good about 2010 than not. I don't know what to expect for 2011, but I believe in creating our own luck. Let's make it a good one.

What were your highlights and lowlights for 2010?

45 days later

2010-12-22T21:30:00.004-05:00

Six weeks and three days after the shock of seeing my fall marathon photos, yesterday I hit and slightly surpassed my goal weight. Here's what 139.6 pounds of f.z. looks like:

Sorry about the crappy lighting. Hopefully, you can see the beginnings of my baby six-pack.

That's a US size six you're looking at, which translates to 28.25 inches (a 2.75 inch drop) around the waist. I feel So. Much. Better.

That's the good news. The bad? Well, I'm at my mom's place on the West Coast, and I can't say it's been a good visit so far. My mom's physical abilities have deteriorated alarmingly just in the past couple of weeks. Two nights ago, she woke me up at 2:00 in the morning after spending an hour unable to get up and go to the bathroom. I couldn't get her up: I like to think I'm stronger than the average forty-something woman, but I can't lift my 165-pound mom. After another hour of struggling and an unfortunate bathroom accident, I had to call paramedics in to get my mom standing. I was done sleeping (I had all of three hours), but I had a full day of work to put in after that.

One incident like that would be bad enough, but this morning we did it all over again. After my mom woke me up calling for help because she couldn't stand, I lost an hour and a half begging and pleading with her to let me phone for help. I finally gave her the phone and left the room because I couldn't handle it any more. Half an hour later, she picked up the phone and asked for help herself.

My mom needs assisted living; that's obvious. She totally refuses.

I think it's safe to say that my mom's judgment as far as her own safety and independence are concerned is horrible. At the same time, she's an adult with rights and a very strong will, and I need to respect the decisions she makes for her own life.

To say that this situation is frustrating is an understatement in the extreme. I'm trying my damndest to respect her wishes and decisions, and I'm also trying not to shield her too much from the consequences of bad decision-making. At the same time, however, it's not my mom cleaning urine off the carpet. It's me. More importantly, if this is what's happening while I'm here, what the heck is going to happen when I leave next week?

I don't know what to do here, folks. I'd welcome your suggestions.

If I hadn't gotten the religion back about general fitness and especially weight lifting, by the way, the last few days certainly would have done it. While a large part of my mom's problems stem both from the stroke and from a neurological disorder (think Michael J Fox) that I have no reason to believe is hereditary, the fact that she suddenly doesn't have the strength to reliably lift herself out of a sitting position is huge motivation to me to get stronger and stay that way.

Have you had any special challenges to face with aging parents? What happened and how did you handle it?

Violation

2010-12-11T23:10:00.004-05:00

Two more pounds gone, which makes nine total. Just in the last couple of days, my missing cheekbones have returned. Today, I saw a total of nine different people I know, and every single person noticed the weight loss and said that it's very apparent in my face. Three pounds to go!

I planned to write something else completely, but today the System Tool virus attacked my computer and had its way with it. This is a new or newish virus, and it's extremely nasty. At the very least, it self-replicates and tries to fool infected users into giving up their credit card numbers for fake anti-virus software. In my case, it not only self-replicated and tried to sell me stuff, but also knocked out my internet connection and stopped all programs from running. Norton Anti-Virus doesn't have a patch for it, and I spent an hour and a half on the phone waiting for a technician.

Technical support, by the way, cost me a hundred bucks. OUCH.

I talked to a few friends while my computer was being scrubbed, and it sounds like quite a few people have been hit. The general consensus was that a system restoration back to several days ago will fix the problem. I asked the virus technician about that approach and he responded that it gets rid of the symptoms, but doesn't remove the virus from the system.

Since I use my computer to log into and manage a variety of financial accounts, I decided that professional scrubbing was an expensive but worthwhile remedy. After two hours eradicating the virus from multiple locations on my computer, the technician left me a list of tips for avoiding this and other viruses in future. Since this list cost me $100, I'm happy to share it with you for free:

Steps to keep computer free from Virus:

1. Never open attachments from unknown sources or attachments you are not expecting. (Knew that)

2. Always scan diskettes, CD's and any other removable media before using them. (Knew that too)

3.Do not click on any pop-ups, just click on "Alt Key" and "F4".... (This is helpful! Even mousing over or clicking on the x in a pop-up can cause a trojan to start downloading. Apparently, that's how most people are getting it)

4.Do not visit any unsecured websites. (I asked for clarification on this one. You can go to http://safeweb.norton.com to check for the presence of viruses on a site. Keep in mind that there is no patch for the System Tool virus yet, though)

5.Ensure that your virus Definitions are updated. (If this isn't automated on your computer, it should be)

6. Keep your system up to date with Microsoft Windows Update to protect your system from viruses and worms that attack known Windows security vulnerabilities. (Newer Windows operating systems will do the update automatically. I don't know what Macs do)

Has your PC been infected with a virus? What did you get and how did you get rid of it? What damage (if any) did it cause?

Stay safe out there, folks.

Spending hangover

2010-12-03T12:15:00.004-05:00

Seven pounds down, and my skinny pants fit. Yay me.

With five pounds left to lose, I'm starting to think that I might actually be back to normal by the end of the year. Should I post a photo when I get there?

In my last post, I mentioned that I've been spending a LOT of money in the past few weeks. Part of this is related to normal end of year expenses: I finished off my planned giving for the year, so my credit card took a big hit for that. Also, it's doorman tip season and that always costs around $400. Finally, I normally buy a year's worth of running shoes once my favorite shoe's new model is released and the old one goes on sale, so that's another $390 that went out the window.

In addition to the normal planned spending, though, this year I budgeted for some additional spending that is and was completely self-indulgent. In the past few weeks, here's where that money has gone:

--New dresses (a few for work, a few not for work): $650 (after 30% discount)
--New dishes (eight place settings, plus serving bowls and a large platter): $135 (after 25% sale and 15% discount on top of that, plus free shipping)
--Two turtlenecks, to replace old, stretched-out ones: $60 (after 40% discount)
--Two cardigans, to replace five very old ones: $80 (after 30% discount)
--One pair of jeans in my normal (slimmer) size: $50 (Full price! I have a very hard time finding jeans that are short enough, flattering, and don't expose my buttcrack. Getting all that and a sale on top of it is nearly impossible.)

I bought everything online and am still waiting for the last three things to arrive, by the way. If they don't work, back they go.

And finally. . .

--I dropped $539 on cast-iron Le Creuset cookware. I ended up with a white nine-quart dutch oven for $240 (I don't love the white, but it was $60 cheaper than anywhere else I saw), plus a set of three items in the flame color: A 1.25 quart saucepan, a 5.5 quart dutch oven, and a 10-inch skillet. That set was $299.

I finally cracked on the cookware when I took out my nasty, seventeen-year-old non-stick pots that are all scratched up, started to get them ready for use, and then decided that after months of figuring out what I wanted and researching prices, I had finally had enough and wasn't going to do any better than the last, best sale I found.

I love the cookware, and I don't regret it one bit. There are still two more pieces I want to buy, but I haven't found them at the right price points yet. I'm in no real rush anyway since I have the basics.

I don't regret any of the other purchases either. I sure didn't need most or even any of what I bought, but none of it was impulse shopping, and I took the time to compare prices and plan. I didn't want any residual guilt, so I also waited to do any shopping until I surpassed my savings goal for the year. (More on that on the quarterly recap in a few weeks.)

All the spending has been fun, but it left me actually feeling a little hung over at the end. I'm not sure that hung over is the right term, although I can't think of a better one. It's more like how I feel after overdoing it on pancakes: Stuffed, blood sugar off the rails from all the white flour and sugar, a little queasy, and not interested in seeing another pancake for a very long time. My credit card should close for the month tomorrow, and I can't wait to wipe out the balance and get back to normal.

There's one other thing that caused me to take a break from focusing on saving for the moment, by the way. I've never published my net worth here before, but I do have very specific net worth goals as well as savings goals for every year. Since the net worth goals depend on market fluctuations, they're not under my control except via my ongoing asset allocation strategy; as a result, I think focusing on maintaining the strategy and achieving my savings goals is more productive than obsessing over what the market does day to day.

With all that said, I've come very close to hitting my 2010 net worth goal several times recently, but I finally did it this week. Not counting the value of my home, I finally topped half a million dollars in savings and investments. That represents many years of hard work and dedicated saving. To me, it was worthy of a little celebration.

Have you done any spending just for yourself this holiday season thus far? If not, why not? If so, what did you buy and why? Did you end up feeling hung over afterwards?

Stronger

2010-11-26T21:03:00.003-05:00

I hope everyone in the US had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I had two invitations this year and somehow managed to get to both places, which made me feel very loved indeed despite not having any family here in New York.

You may have noticed that things have been pretty quiet around here lately. I mentioned that I've been wading through an avalanche of catch-up from being in Italy for a week, but something else happened a few weeks ago that's taken my attention elsewhere.

Most major marathons have professional photographers on the course, and the race I did in early October was no exception. I received an email a few weeks ago to look at proofs of the photos, so I duly clicked the link and saw the glory that awaited.

It was horrifying.

I mentioned a while ago that I put about ten pounds on earlier this year, mostly following my mom's stroke and hospitalization. I haven't been able to shake it off, but I also haven't really tried. Marathon photos are seldom flattering at the best of times and this year it rained during the entire race, so I was expecting to see myself looking bedraggled.

I wasn't expecting to look so, well. . .

Fat.

Yeah.

To put things in perspective, I realize that my body image is skewed. This is pretty common among distance runners: When you can feel every additional pound slowing you down, an extra five or ten pounds can take on the histrionic feel of a Greek tragedy. I'm short with a large, muscular frame, and I learned a long time ago that a healthy, generally maintainable weight for me is about 140 pounds. That puts me into a size 4-8 depending on the manufacturer, settling in at about size 6 on average. Lately, I've been dragging out my largest 8's and even a few 10's that I kept in the back of the closet, but it took seeing my marathon pictures to internalize the fact that I either need to embrace my larger size or do something about it.

That was my come-to-Jeebus moment.

I was a grad school project for a nutritionist friend five or six years ago, so I pulled out all the tools she gave me for managing caloric intake and started using them again.

After two years of convincing myself that yoga is better than weightlifting, I went back to the weight room.

Since Boston Marathon training season is just around the corner, I ramped up my base running mileage to about forty per week.

At the end of the first week of targeted running, lifting, and more sensible eating, I pulled out the tape measure, hopped on the scale, and recorded the full extent of the damage: 152 pounds, meaning twelve pounds and two extra inches on my waist to lose.

Three weeks after finally getting on the scale, I'm sticking to between 1500 and 1700 calories most days. In addition to running, I'm also doing a full-body weightlifting session twice a week. I was shocked by how my strength has declined after two years away from throwing the iron around, but I'm very gratified by how quickly it's coming back: I've gone from one full push-up at a shot to thirty; from zero unassisted dips on parallel bars to three sets of eight; from lunges with an empty 45-pound bar to 125 pounds; and from bench pressing with fifteen-pound dumbbells to an 85-pound barbell (and a few at 95 with a spotter).

It's paying off. I've dropped five pounds in three weeks, and the definition in my arms, shoulders, and back is coming back. I also bought several very form-fitting dresses online. Seeing how nice they look as my stomach has flattened out is incredibly motivating.

I expected the hardest part to be cutting back on sugar, but that's actually been the easiest. Recording my caloric intake probably has a lot to do with that, given how high in calories most sugary foods are. I've noticed, however, that once I get started with anything sugary (like the pumpkin cheesecake that turned up at Thanksgiving dinner #2 last night), it's awfully hard to stop at just a little. As a result, I've been planning for the occasions where I know there will be dessert by cutting way back on calories earlier in the day. The rest of the time, not having any is much easier than having just a little, so that's the approach I'm taking.

I feel better. So, so much better already.

I should add that I'm in no way passing judgment on ANYONE who is heavy. If the rest of my family is any indication, we are genetically predisposed to put on weight. My experience over the years certainly bears that out: Managing my weight takes effort. When I take my eye off the ball, I gain. Aside from being concerned about the raw numbers on the scale, with cancer, strokes, and heart disease in both of my parents and all of their siblings (not to mention the two quirky autoimmune disorders I already have), I am highly motivated to keep my risk factors to a minimum.

Ultimately, it really comes down to how I feel. I am an endorphin junkie. I credit exercise-induced endorphins for helping me keep a sunny, optimistic outlook towards life most of the time. Regardless of the cause, the darkest periods of my life emotionally have always been those in which I exercise the least. Without maintaining a certain base fitness level, I think I'd spend far too much time off of my emotional equilibrium.

(While I've been getting my physical well-being back on track, I've also been engaging in some completely indulgent planned spending. I'll go into that in my next post.)

For me, fitness and being at a healthy weight are tied closely to my overall sense of well-being. Where does your sense of well-being lie, and what do you do to reinforce it?

A different perspective on money

2010-11-21T13:50:00.005-05:00

Over the past few months, I've gotten to be close friends with a neighbor I knew only in passing for years. She's a single mom who lives upstairs from me. We talked about money recently, and my neighbor had an interesting perspective: She told me that saving every penny is the stupidest thing anyone can do, and that it's important to enjoy life today in every way possible. She went on to tell me that she should be saving for her two young kids' educations right now, but that if paying for college is unaffordable, the kids are dual citizens and can always go back to my neighbor's home country in Europe and get educated for free.

My neighbor has a good income (much higher than mine, I suspect), but still, she's a single mom in New York. Raising two kids on her own can't be easy.

Is she irresponsible?

A couple of years ago, I would have said absolutely. In this situation, however, there's a twist: My neighbor's husband developed a rare and extremely nasty form of cancer three years ago. Despite throwing every possible treatment at it, he died less than twelve months later at the age of 39. My friend is now doing her best to be both mom and dad to two kids who aren't old enough to remember a whole lot about their dad, but are old enough to still miss him terribly. A large part of her is still very angry with (pick your favorite: God/the universe/forces of nature/random, chaotic events and consequences/whatever you want to call it) that her husband was taken away, but she's started making new friends and dating in order to move on with her life. For her, part of moving on means living almost wholly in the moment.

As some of you know or might have guessed, my historical tendency for most of my adult life is to fall too far to the opposite end of the spectrum, where I'm so focused on the future that I forget about living in the present. That's something I've been trying to change over time after paying off my mortgage and more recently, as my investments have gradually gone back into the black, but I've never had a defining moment that triggered a major change in my perspectives on money. Unless that happens (and to be honest, I'd really rather not go through something like that), I suspect that living more in the present will continue to be something I have to work at.

Has there been a major life event that completely changed how you think about money and personal finance? What was it, and how did it change you?

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry

2010-11-15T23:34:00.002-05:00

Ever come back from vacation to get hit with an avalanche of stuff that piled up while you were gone?

Yeah. That happened to me.

In addition to that, we had the New York City Marathon, and I had some marathon activities throughout the week. (I also jumped in to run the last six miles with a friend, which is strictly forbidden.) My awesome house guest showed up for four days after that, and then I went to a wedding and left the wedding reception early to fly out here to sunny California on business.

I'm hoping to carve out a little time this weekend to play catch-up. Thanks for your patience in the meantime. (I seem to be saying that far too much lately!)

Historic Rome

2010-11-01T20:59:00.004-05:00

Like many other visitors to Rome, one of the main attractions for me was its long, rich history as one of the earliest foundations of Western civilization. Having grown up in a place that wasn't settled until the 1840's, I find New York's history of European settlement dating back to the 1600's incredibly ancient. From this perspective, it's hard to fathom buildings and settlements dating back two thousand years or more, especially juxtapositioned within a modern, vibrant city.

I guess wanting to see and hopefully understand a little more about truly ancient history is more or less what I was looking for when I came. In that respect, Rome delivered. Over the week I was there, I managed to cover every neighborhood in the historic center, as well as a visit to the Via Appia Antica, which is still in Rome but a short, hair-raising public bus trip away from the center. This visit to one of the the ancient Roman roads was one of the biggest highlights of my stay. I stopped in at the tomb of Cecelia Metella, a first-century noblewoman's wife. The tomb was written up in my guidebook as a not-to-be-missed highlight, but after having seen so many museums and churches and ruins already, I thought it was a nice building but otherwise a washout because so much of the interesting stuff had been stripped away. (Maybe some people are interested in detailed descriptions of earth striations, but I'm not.) It was a nice day and the public bus wasn't coming back anytime soon, so I walked farther along the ancient road until I came to the catacombs of St. Sebastian. The location is marked by a fourth-century church in honor of St. Sebastian built over a long stretch of catacombs (7.6 miles, I think) dating back to the second century, where pagans and Christians alike were buried in wall niches covered with marble or terracotta plaques.

The catacombs sounded interesting despite the dry passing reference in my guidebook, but the only way to see them was on a guided tour because apparently it's quite easy to get lost down there. I managed to join a tour conducted in English, and it was absolutely fascinating. The guide pointed out and explained ancient symbols and graffiti left over the centuries (I finally get why a fish symbolizes Jesus!), including scribbles left on the walls by people who gathered to celebrate and pray to St. Peter and St. Paul. There were also three underground mausoleums, part of what used to be a thriving necropolis business for the entombment of wealthy individuals and their families. There was a special chapel built in the area where St. Sebastian's body had been entombed in the second century, which was interesting but also slightly disappointing: While it was fascinating to see the nearly two thousand year old stone box in which his remains had been stored (the chapel was built around it, although the remains themselves are now housed in St. Peter's Basilica), I would much rather have seen the tomb as it originally was. In any case, getting a sense of how people two thousand years ago came to terms with death - or in some cases, didn't come to terms with it - seemed to help bridge the gap spanning the centuries separating the ancient world from the world of today. The mystery of what happens after death is still as big, scary, and unknown as it was back then, and religion is still needed by so many to hold back the dark unknown. In that sense, it seems like the people of ancient Rome and the people of today could probably understand and relate to each other.

Another historic highlight was a visit to the Museo Capitolini, which houses an unimaginable amount of ancient statuary. I spent a great deal of time wandering through the Hall of the Emperors, a room that is actually quite small but contains busts of many of the ancient heads of state. The carvings became more true to life over time, and the one that fascinated me the most was of Vespasian (67-79 AD). It's impossible to see from the linked image, but Vespasian's bust showed a man in late middle age with deep, careworn lines etched in his face. I know very little about Vespasian's reign, but he looked like a calm man of wisdom who was nonetheless no stranger to stress, worry, and probably a lot of sleepless nights.

I spent a whole day at St. Peter's Basilica and the Vatican museums. The Basilica took only ten minutes of waiting to enter, and I climbed the 600 plus steps to the cupola to see both the city view and the basilica floor. There was so much there and it was all so ornate that I know I didn't take in as much as I would have liked. The size alone is unimaginable, and there are side chapels and funerary monuments everywhere for saints, popes, and a lot of people I've never heard of but who must have historic importance in the Catholic church. A service started while I was in the basilica. I'm not religious myself, but I opted to leave rather than gawk at people trying to worship in peace.

By the time I trudged out of the basilica, the lineup for the Vatican museums was two and a half hours long, and the trip through the many museums on feet that were already sore and tired was totally overwhelming. Here too, my art receptors shut down without taking everything in, so while I spent plenty of time lingering over Egyptian historic relics and sculpture, I walked past the maps and tapestries without spending more than a few minutes looking at them. The last stop on the route was the Sistine Chapel, which was every bit as breathtaking as I've ever heard. Here too, the work is too overwhelming to take in at once, although having read up on the meaning of some of the ceiling and wall frescoes helped.

While the size and majesty of the Vatican is a testament to the strength and power of Christianity over the centuries, it left me cold in some ways. Not having been raised with religion, I found it a heck of a lot harder to find spiritual meaning in the overwhelming magnitude and ornateness of the Vatican than I saw in things like the worry carved into Vespasian's image. I'm sure a lot of people do find spiritual meaning in exactly the places I couldn't, and that's fine; it just wasn't for me.

Finally, another historic highlight of my visit was the Pantheon. I knew before going that the Pantheon was one of the oldest surviving buildings from the early Roman period, having been completely rebuilt by Hadrian in the first century after the original was destroyed by fire. What I hadn't realized, however, was that five hundred years later, the inside of the Pantheon was ripped out and consecrated as a Christian church. While the interior of the Pantheon is no less ornate than the other historic Christian churches I saw, the smaller size and scale made it much easier to take in and appreciate the artwork and the monuments to historic figures entombed there.

There were so many other places I visited, but these were a few key highlights that made me realize how very little I know about this cradle of civilization. I'm planning on doing a lot more reading about the early Roman empire and its eventual collapse, and also the rise of Christianity, mostly because I feel like there are a lot of gaps to fill in in order to make more sense of my experience.

What are some of the highlights of your travels?