RED BAND TRAILER

The visual component arrives.

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 19:35:00 +0000

RED BAND TRAILER, Episode 301: Adam Brody

RED BAND TRAILER, Episode 302: Chelsea Handler

Hold Stick Under 'Stream

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:59:00 +0000

I "fell pregnant" in November. It's now June. Funny how things like blogs fall by the wayside when you feel like you've swallowed a bag of elbows.

If anything, I've gained a greater appreciation for the Airstream now that I'm with child. Proportionately, hanging out in the International is not unlike being a 15-week-old fetus in a womb. (Though I'd take mod paprika cushions over a veinous placenta any day.)

Of course, my "Li'l Tenant" is now 32-weeks-old, which means he's pretty cramped in my belly. I guess a more fitting analogy would be Lamar Odom attempting to nap in a Basecamp.

Don't worry, folks. I can make pregnancy/trailer analogies all day. I'm full of them.

Dan and I have already discussed how best to Airstream avec bebe. I'm thinking Dan and the child can share the bed while I pitch a tent outside and keep sentry with the .357. In the meantime, I'm too fat and unwieldy to camp. So I've been writing in the Airstream, perched high above Studio City, enjoying my own sweet valley high.

P.S. Idea: What if this blog had a video component? I could actually show off the 'Stream instead of just writing about it. Trying to think of something novel. Maybe a celebrity interview series filmed in the trailer?

Grand Canyon!

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 18:02:00 +0000

A month without Airstreaming is a sad month indeed. Sure, I've been tinkering around with the trailer (and writing inside, my favorite non-mobile application for the AS). But we haven't been on the road since. We might boondock at Yosemite after the holidays, but that will be a weekend at most.

That said, we have a grand trip in the works: Grand Canyon, February 2010. Dan's show goes on hiatus for a week, and its the perfect opportunity to really see the lower-southwestern quadrant of America.

Speaking of this diverse country, we're in Hawaii right now, on the left coast of the Big Island. It would be so awesome to have an Airstream here. You could dock it anywhere and be in paradise.

Halloween Shakedown

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 17:49:00 +0000

We spent Halloween weekend at Ocean Mesa RV park, near Santa Barbara, which means "Saint Barbara" or "whale's vagina," depending on who you ask. (Yes, I just made a willfully inaccurate Anchorman reference. What did you expect from me?) Below: gratuitous AirprOn.

It was admittedly daunting to hitch up for the first time. (For all you "enginerds" out there, we do use an anti-sway mechanism. I need to check the brand; it's not a Hensley Arrow, but it seems to work extremely well.) Our driveway is dangerously skinny (like everything in Hollywood-- ZING) and I was nervous that we wouldn't be able to exit without denting our beautiful silver craft. Luckily, it all went fine. This trailer can handle.

The ride to Ocean Mesa was pleasant-- we even passed two aluminum trailers on the Pacific Coast Highway. (One was a proper Airstream; the other, an intriguing homemade rig.) Upon arrival, we checked in with the friendly folks at the office. Just like a hotel, Maw! I had reserved a lovely site overlooking the ocean. It wasn't a pull-through, so we had to back that ass up. This is harder than it sounds, and totally counterintuitive. Once situated, we hooked the Airstream up to water and power (easy!) and got to work creating a real campsite.

Awning, food, ocean, picnic table. What more could we ask for? Oh yeah-- our neighbors at the campground had a gorgeous Excella. We were very surprised to be docked near another Airstream, especially after our encounter on the PCH.

In this photo, you can see our cute new ass in the foreground and the Excella's vintage mirror-finish rump in the background. Oh, and a spectacular iris-purple sunset. Thank you, Jesus.

Here's more sunset. (I know these photos are small and unsatisfying; I'm going to try to adjust this blog template. Honest. To blog.)

I was both nervous and excited about our first night sleeping in the trailer. Ordinarily, I would classify the full bed as "roomy," but we had company. (Said company specializes in the manufacture of hair and drool.) Still, we slept like babies. Proverbial babies, not actual babies. Real babies don't sleep all that well, I'm told.

The next day, we went to El Capitan State Beach, which is within walking distance from Ocean Mesa. P.S. This is an extraordinarily unflattering photo, and if I've learned anything from my time in the white-hot spotlight, it's that unflattering photos wind up on Wikipedia. Like, immediately. Whatever. I look like the lost Cusack sister, Butchie.

When we got back to the campsite, we took luxurious hot showers in the trailer. Halloween night was upon us, so I fired up the coals in the Weber. A shakedown trip demands a special nosh, and this didn't disappoint. Dear God.

That's corn, spiny lobster tail, yellow zucchini and red potatoes, all prepared on the grill outside. I used the Airstream stove to melt butter for dipping. Naturally, we had cold beverages as well. Cider (and champagne and Happy Camper wine) for me, multiple bottles of Bud for Daniel.

After a campfire, S'mores, and an impromptu FM radio dance party, we downloaded Orphan on iTunes and got into bed. Sarsgaard on demand. A happy Halloween indeed.

I would describe our shakedown trip as uneventful, and I mean that in the best possible way. We broke her in, and got home in one piece. I wrote about this weekend for my EW column, but why stop there when I can supplement with tiny photos and hastily written captions? You're welcome, world!

Live from the trenches

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 17:00:00 +0000

The "Zip-Dee" awning on the Airstream sounds like it would be so easy to use. ANGST.

Dan is out there doing battle with a few yards of canvas and two treacherous metal arms. God, but we're city slickers.

More updates soon on Shakedown '09.

P.S. I love my dogs. I need to remind myself of this because right now I want to use the Zip-Dee awning to catapult them into hyperspace.

Pictorial!

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:19:00 +0000

Day 1. Pumping up in Irvine. It was surprisingly easy to flip a bitch at the gas station; the Airstream handles marvelously. (Or so says Dan.) I know I look like a guy, but at least I own it. I call this look "Liberal Fabulous."

I couldn't resist taking this peek-a-boo shot while headed north on the 5. I see London, I see France, I see a NASA quarantine vehicle going 60 mph!

Because she is a good friend and loves me, Lorene came over immediately after we unhitched. Here she is in the "lounge" area of the Airstream. I don't blame the dog for licking her. I mean, seriously.

My favorite picture so far. Writing a sketch with my supervising producer.

Next: a tantalizing look at the galley, "head" & bed. And of course, the official Shakedown Trip.

It's here

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:58:00 +0000

After an excruciating delay involving the brake controller in my snooty Bavarian truck, the Red Band Trailer is officially here. Today marks Day 4 of giddy Airstream ownership. I promise to post photos soon, since I doubt anyone's interested in a text-based blog about an aesthetic marvel. We hauled our baby up from Irvine, which was a shakedown in and of itself. ("Shakedown" is trailer-nerd parlance for "first official journey." It's also a great song from the Beverly Hills Cop II soundtrack.)

Right now, the as-yet-unnamed Airstream is at the house, juiced up with a 15/30 amp adapter. At night, I've been plugging in my year-round Christmas lights (yes, we're those people) so all those jelly-baby colors can wink off the trailer's skin. Really beautiful.

Eight days

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:32:00 +0000

I got a call from the dealership that my Airstream will be ready on October 9, which is next Friday. Apparently they're waiting on one last bolt of paprika fabric. Why must they tease me with such sensual details?

In the meantime, I traded in my car for a sensible-yet-plush V8 tow vehicle. (I got a deep silver, to create a complementary tone-on-tone effect with The Rig.) I spent my younger years pushing some seriously shitty pre-owned vehicles, so I feel mostly okay with this purchase. Notice I said "mostly"; I'm too Midwestern to believe I deserve anything.

Anyway, I've never had any kind of truck or SUV before, and after six days of driving one, I'm beginning to understand the appeal. In L.A., your car is essentially your second home. And as with any home, size and comfort are assets. I kind of enjoy being perched high above gridlock in my German tank.

In other gas-powered news, I drove a Vespa on the lot today. We have a pink one on hand for Brie's character this season. The Vespa was just a grumbly little 50cc, but I loved it! I thought our transpo guy was going to have a heart attack, though. I had trouble stopping.

Anticipation...

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:20:00 +0000

I'm having my camera repaired right now in anticipation for the trailer's arrival. It's a beautiful Leica that was given to me by the sweet guys at Mandate during the Juno blitz. The accompanying note said something like, "You'll need this camera to capture the amazing events that are about to happen." I assume they were alluding to the Oscars, not the paralyzing depression that followed. Whee!

I'm not much of a photographer, but Airstreams are photogenic by nature. They gleam. I hope to document every inch of this silver-skinned hulk in loving detail.

When I started my first blog in 2000(!), I hand-coded everything. I took night classes in Chicago where I learned to build a single pop-up window in 27 easy steps. Things have changed. Now there's a fancy "monetize" button that enables you to slap ads on your blog instanter. Pretty swank, Blogger.

Okay, my oven fries are ready.

Crowning

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:08:00 +0000

Got my first photo of the International. Only a few more days until I'm fumbling around with the power, adding "magic RV crystals" to the toilet, and stocking the fridge with off-brand energy drinks. I can't yet tell if this Airstream is a boy or a girl. (We're all Paprika on the inside, after all.)

In the meantime, here's some Airstream Wiki. Those tanks in the front are, I believe, propane. I have a lot to learn.

The Air Up There

noreply@blogger.com (Brook) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:45:00 +0000

I like things that have wheels. Roller coasters, for instance (upstop, flanged, you name it.) Trains. Hot rods. The candy-colored scooters straddled by hipsters in cities like Portland and Minneapolis. Vehicles and rolling stock in general. And like any self-respecting travel fetishist/white Midwesterner, I like trailers.

For those who don't know what an Airstream is, it's not a typical "white box" RV. It's a an awesome aerodynamic Populuxe marvel. In a week or so, I'm driving up north and picking up my very own. It's a loaner, but I'm so excited for this adventure that I plan to chronicle the whole thing on this blog. If you're already bored, you may leave now without fear of offending me. After Jennifer's Body, I'm used to walkouts. HI-YO!

Matthew McConaughey tows a similar rig, though his is longer and (ostensibly) fancier. I mean, he's Matthew McConaughey of Fool's Gold! Mine is a 19' International Bambi with Paprika interior. Paprika; it doesn't get more deliciously mid-century than that. That's some John Hamm shit.

I will be docking the Airstream in front of my house. I'm fortunate enough to have a circular driveway, which is rare in the Hills. I mean, it's not like a big-ass Vincent Chase motor court with a fountain, but I think it'll accommodate both my trailer and Dan's Toyota. (The Toyota is also silver, which means it will sort of look like the Airstream's tiny, Japanese half-brother.)

Only a few more days until pickup. Until then, I'M TOO EXCITED TO SLEEP.