Random Thoughts

The Mathematics of Marriage

2012-06-09T11:58:00.002-07:00

I am about to get married in about 6 months. And that set me thinking. Is marriage the right step to take in life.. in anyone’s life.

Now, there is no right / fixed answer to such questions. This isn’t a science.

However, mathematics is a precise science, and probably it can help us understand marriage better. So, here goes…
Let us assume that the probability of any individual being happy (or sad) is 0.5 – agreed. So, putting it in a formula format, we are saying that P(h) = P(s) = 0.5. Seems ok till now.

Now, if that individual is married, his / her happiness depends on the happiness of his / her spouse, whose probability of being happy or sad is again 0.5. Thus, the probability of any person being happy post marriage is an event dependent upon the happiness of the spouse, hence P(h) = 0.5 x 0.5 = 0.25 !!!!

This means, any person is half as happy post marriage as he / she was when single ! Thus, marriage can never be a positive step. This set me thinking.. this cannot be a right conclusion across all marriages, there has to be a corollary. And, well, there is !
Anyways, to understand the above further, let me illustrate the different outcomes in a table

Like we concluded above, for a couple to be happy – both the partners individually must be happy, hence only a 0.25 probability.
Here we are assuming that if one of the partners is sad, then he / she would make the other sad too. Maybe the couple isn’t a right fit for each other in this case.

However, there are cases where the happiness of one partner overrides the sadness of the other and the couple ends up happier if one of the partners is happy. In this case, the probability of the couple being happy shoots up to 0.75 (outcomes 2 and 3 above will change to “happy” outcomes for the couple). This, I would attribute to a concept called “true love”.

Hence, here are 3 conclusions that one can make

1. If you are with the right partner, then the chances of you being happy are thrice as much – 0.75 vs. 0.25

2. If you are with the wrong partner, you are better off being indifferent to their feelings. Thus, your happiness / sadness would NOT depend upon their happiness / sadness, bringing up the probability of your happiness back to 0.5, instead of 0.25

3. Even in case of perfect marriages / right partners, the probability of happiness is only 0.75. Thus, there will always be some sad times.

Well, for all those getting married and wondering about the future (iincluding me), here’s wishing them all the best. Hoping for a 0.75 probability !!!

Not just friends...

2012-05-22T23:29:00.000-07:00

He tugged at the thin straps knotted at her slender back and allowed the silver Lycra top to slither to the marble floor; he smiled at the rush of power he felt and perched on the edge of the king-size bed. She was a sexy woman.

He heard his mobile phone buzz, announcing that he had received a sms. He almost knew who the sender was.

Ignore it! He commanded himself. He was with a woman! A semi-naked woman who was sexy as hell and with perfectly shaped breasts!

But he couldn’t. Lost in thought, he trailed his palms over her waist to rest on her hips. She sighed with her whole body, from the little breathy catch in her throat to the way she leaned all the more heavily into him, rubbed herself against him.

He sighed heavily as he pushed her away. In response to the confusion in her eyes, he smiled his most apologetic smile and reached out to pick up his cell phone.

Yes, the message was from Kay: Are you in yet? If not call me.

He did not know whether to kill Kay or adore her. But he found himself reaching out the speed dial digit which would connect him to her. She picked up on the first ring.

“You busy?”

“What’s the emergency woman?”

“Its Ash’s pool-side bash, I need help in deciding whether to wear the pink two-piece with glittering hearts on it or the lime green one with a beaded border?”

“You called me for that? Do you have any idea what I was involved in?”

“Oh you as usual must be on top of some woman or the other. What’s the point of yelling at me. You shouldn’t have called if the bimbette was that important!”

“Oh yeah and if you don’t decide what you wear to Ash’s party, which is incidentally one week away, right now, you will have a stroke!”

“So… how far had you gone?” she asked curiosity making her voice sound a little different.

He looked towards the bed, where the ‘bimbette’ lay, making inviting eyes at him. What was he doing on the phone again? There was a sexy woman, waiting for him in bed and here was standing bare chested at the bedroom window making conversation with K.A.Y.

“Excuse me?!!” he blurted.

“Ugh!” she made an exasperated noise. “Have you like already added whipped cream to your.. err… desert?” She said by means of explanation.

“Nope I did not add whipped cream!! Yuck!! What a way to put things!!!” He screamed into the phone

She laughed and he felt his lips lift at the corners in the beginnings of a smile.

“You are so not going to be able to go any further with her than this, sweetheart,” she cooed knowingly into the phone.

Which was true, the semi-naked woman on the bed, right now just looked like an interesting object of art. He sighed. Kay had done it again. He cut the phone.

“Problem?” the bimbette asked

“Wife” he lied with a smile.

“What?” She screamed. She sprang off the bed, dressed in record speed and slammed the door on her way out. Aptly Kay called.

“So she left?”

“Yes woman…”

“I don’t like these stupid women in your life….” Kay whispered

“You don’t have to like them. I do.”

“You didn’t hear me. I do NOT like these stupid women in your life…”

“Kay…” it was a question, a doubt, an answer and a solution.

“Well…”

“Kay…”

“Ok. Yes I do!”

“Huh? Then why… did you .. I mean..”

“It took me two years and millions of plots to spoil your one night stands to realize I love you.. ok? But there... I do!”

Friends with ’Expiry dates’?

2011-08-30T03:53:00.000-07:00

Do friends come with expiry dates? That’s one question that came to my mind this morning as I got dressed for work. I have been experiencing pain this last weekend over a soured friendship which did not just snap but has been going ‘bad’ for a while. Which made me think...do friendships come to expiration just like any other product we purchase in the market? Some part of me completely agreed with the concept. Yes, they do!
Think about it! We choose our friends just as much as we choose the products in the store. Like a new product we anticipate that the new friend will make you better...add value to what you already have - who you are (like lotions and creams enhancing our natural beauty), contribute to your happiness (like coffee that just perks me up), or just plain ol’makes you feel better like nothing else does (like ice-cream!!). Having friends around or just a call away makes one feel secure about relationships. That happiness permeates into different other aspects – career, relationships with family and with our own spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. Friends make us plain happy after meeting or talking to them!
We choose these products depending on our mood when purchasing them. Sometimes we ‘experiment’ with these products because we believe they will make things better – our health, our beauty, our overall personality...Similarly with new people depending on our mood we decide to let that person get close to us, enough to become friends who momentarily convince us that they are worth being acquainted with. We experiment with them. It’s the mood that does play a role. That’s why we let some really nice people to pass us by and sometimes let losers get close to us because we were in ‘the mood’!!
And just like products come with expiry dates; friendships near to an end as well because they turn bad and ‘toxic’ at times. Some friends need to be let gone else they continue to suck you out of the energy they once upon a time contributed to. The one thing that you give to any product and to a friend is the chance to make you feel better. If you are a friend to them, you would do the same. But once the product starts to make you react in a way adverse to what was expected, you tend to discontinue using the commodity at once or at least gradually start reducing the usage of the product to see if it the main reason for undesirable results. Is that not a good strategy while dealing with ‘friends’? Why let some friends who have become sour make you feel bad?
Subconsciously, friends contribute to your self esteem and spending time with certain people defines your attitude to a particular extent. When you spend it with certain ‘toxic’ friends, they turn to harm us more than just superficially, which products gone bad do. They harm us internally and they bring pain. Letting them out of your life is not as easy as throwing a product away but easing them out of your life is like doing yourself a huge favour. You deserve and are worth a healthy relationship and friendships are part of those healthy associations you want t keep to contribute to a healthy, happy living!
Since I realised what had happened to a fantastic friendship I had with my best friend, I have started revaluating friendships that I still have. I do love myself and could use healthy relationships that nurture my personality and make me happy like an apple nurtures my health.
Slowly letting go of the people that show telling signs of embittering your life can be tough but oh-so-necessary for yourself. Think about it, why would you keep a product that does more harm than good? Similarly, why would you allow a ‘friend’ to eat into your time and energy when there are enough parasites out there anyways (go by the name – horrible bosses, foes, naggers etc)? Think about it, re-evaluate your relationships and see if they have reached their expiry dates!

Types of people you see inside elevators

2011-07-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

We all spend at least five minutes everyday traveling the lifts. If you are a lift operator you probably spend more than eight hours inside the lifts….but since we didn’t expect you to understand English and be reading blogs on the internet, this blog post doesn’t cater to your interest. Folks working on 30 plus floors, and those with extremely slow elevators needn’t despair…you might be spending more than five minutes inside lifts but we forgive you and still cater to your interests. Read on.
Here are the different types of people you will find inside lifts:

The Operator
This is generally a man, and the moment he steps inside the lift he has only one question for everybody inside the lift: “Which floor?” He is the type that gets upset if you have already pressed the button. Throughout the journey, he will stand next to the buttons. If you give him a chair to sit inside the lift he wouldn’t really mind. He is also the guy who presses the >< and <> buttons to close or open the lift whenever necessary, and gets super offended if you so much so even extend your hand to do that.

The Evaluator
Both a man or a woman can be an evaluator. This person runs an eye over everybody in the lift. Once the first glance is cast, he or she then starts focusing on individuals and starts marking them eye to toe. There are various parameters on which such people evaluate you – which company you could be working in, single or married, how much you could earning, how much does that shiny shoe cost etc. He/she usually stands right at the back in one of the corners.

The Starer
This is mostly a man. His job is to stare at anybody who enters the lift. A stare back doesn’t discourage this guy. The fact that the stare is going to last only 30+ seconds helps. Mind you, he doesn’t just stare at women….men also end up being his target.

The Perfume Woman
In most office lifts this character is a rarity. How often do you share a lift with a girl, who is washed head-to-toe in perfume? This person is usually wearing heels, dark, tight trousers with light colored shirt, has a scarf around her neck and is holding a file or a diary against her bosom (not to mention the branded, big handbag or laptop hanging from her shoulder). She steps into the lift with a few clicks of her heels, and sets the adrenalin rush amongst the men inside. If you see a man missing the second floor in spite of pressing the second floor button of the lift…there are very high chances that there is a perfume woman inside the lift.

The back-to-the-door person
This can either be a man or a woman and is most likely to be 40+ in age. For some odd reason, they stand with their back to the door till they reach their destination floor – opening or closing of the lift doesn’t help in changing their orientation. This man is the Evaluator’s worst enemy.

The Evader
This is an interesting character that becomes a part of our lift life very often. They avoid all eye contact when inside the lift. If you notice, they will take out their handkerchief and play with it, then stare at the fan or AC vent on top, then look at the buttons, stare at the floor indicator at the top of the lift etc. They will do anything to avoid eye contact with you – even looking at their own shoes.

The Mobile Manager
This can both be a man or a woman. For some odd reason, they always get emails when they are in the lift. And when they don’t have emails to read, they would snap out the mobiles from their pockets and send out a few SMSes. I wouldn’t be surprised if they are just some sms forwards. Most often, the mobile that’s involved here is a smartphone – a Blackberry, an iPhone, an HTC or a high end Nokia device.

The Handler
This is almost always a man. He takes it upon himself to trigger the lift door’s sensitivity by placing his hand next to the door till everybody isn’t inside completely or hasn’t gone out completely. He is the fatherly figure to every lift traveler. There is no specific age group for this character – they range from 16 year old boys to 50 year old men.

Any other characters you can think of?

the call...

2011-06-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

If the phone in her pocket buzzed one more time, she would seriously consider disowning this piece which the population claimed to be one of the best inventions of technology. She had absolutely no idea who would be trying to call her in the midst of a harrowing Monday afternoon.

She crossed one jean-clad leg over another and leaned back in her chair, pretending to listen to her boss rave and rant about her invisible short-comings. It was another mystery in her clueless Monday.

She had woken up feeling distinctly positive about the morning and thus very hopeful of the week which would follow. But out of the bed, is as far as the positive feeling followed her. She had opened her wardrobe to discover that all her ‘work trousers’ had seemingly taken an affinity to the laundry basket. The laundry basket had however stubbornly refused to make it to the washing machine over the weekend! Someone ought to have written a book on laundry psychology! Which left her with but one choice – don on jeans on the one day when your boss would be sure to notice that you were not a mere wall décor!

She had teamed her jeans with a very official looking white shirt and even gone to the extent of ‘corporating’ her look with a black silk scarf. You think that would have helped?

The first thing she walked into her office, she was summoned in by her boss. He had peered at her and said,

“no doubt this is your definition of office wear….”

And the meeting had begun. She was flawed. At least that is what she thought her boss was trying to tell her through his numerous incitations. It was not that she really had made all those many mistakes; it was just that he was having his round of the male equivalent of PMS. He did get these mood swings once every month. Quite regularly.

But today it seemed to stretch on way beyond the normal. She was closeted with him, in this confine of glass for well over two hours, listening and re-listening that, what she had already heard minutes before. What had definitely worsened matters was the peal of her cell-phone.

It began quite innocently five minutes into the meeting. Her boss was in the midst of proving a point when her phone had begun to sing “umbrella- ella …” It did seem rather funny, but she had turned an embarrassing pink. She’d cut the call and smiled apologetically at her boss.

Every five minutes after that the phone needed to be choked into silence as her persistent caller refused to give up. Annoyed she had switched her phone to the silent mode and pushed it into her pocket, where it had buzzed its presence with a dramatic whir.

Her mind was busy wondering who needed to get in touch with her that desperately. At one point her thoughts had led her into an almost panic – nobody was in an accident, right? Quite unconsciously she started twitching her foot, much to the distraction of her boss, who sighed quite melodramatically and said,

“I suppose we should convene the meeting after you have taken that call?”

As if on cue her phone whirred again. She hastily excused herself and not quite out of the room barked an annoyed “yes?” into the phone.

“Hey!” came the hearty reply.

“You would be?” she asked not wanting to be nice to this particular, as yet unidentified, oppressive entity.

“waiting for the past two and a half hours for you to answer your phone, so that I could quite innovatively ask you out for lunch. But innovation is wasted on you, isn’t it?” came the curt reply.

She stared aghast at her phone. Double-checked to see if her eyes and ears were deceiving her, then looked back through the glass panes into the room she had just walked out of. Sure enough her boss was grinning from ear to ear, shaking his cell phone in front of her face.

Silent Endings...

2011-05-18T10:35:00.000-07:00

He watched the city pass him in a hazy blur, as he drove along the main street. He had no clue where he was headed, nor did he want to know. He just wanted to drive because driving kept him sane.

He tried to focus on anything but her, but all he could see in his mind’s eye was her tear streaked face. He almost reached out to wipe the streaks of her reddened cheeks. But realized he was just caressing thin air. He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel. How had he botched it up so bad?

He remembered her voice textured with velvety concern, soothing his tired senses as he crashed home after a day’s work. He loved watching her as she bustled from room to room chatting about nothing, yet making the house come alive. Once when they’d disagreed over something, which was actually his fault, she had gone out and purchased orange PJs on his credit card, knowing that he particularly disliked orange.

‘It’s because I know you will never say sorry. So here’s your punishment!” she had flung at his questioning glance. She had paraded the entire weekend in those PJs and he had made up his mind on that precise Saturday that orange was actually very cute. The make-up session then had taken them to the bedroom and ended up with breakfast in bed.

And then there was Radha. She was nothing like his wife. She boasted sculpted features and a translucent skin. Her almond eyes were fringed with thick dark lashes and her lips made the perfect pink bow. She was beautiful. And she was interested in him.

It was flattering. Here was woman the world would be willing to covet, seeking surrender in his arms. It was tempting desire itself. He had given in.

For a long time now, he had been thinking about breaking away from Radha. He did not love her, he not even lusted after her, it was just some twisted form of male ego that kept him going. Her tears could melt him, but they didn’t lash out like whips on his tender heart.

Like his wife’s. When she had found out, she had said not one word. But from the depth of the black of her eyes, rolled the torrents of betrayal, which her heart had found difficult to contain.

The blaring horn made him look around. He was parked, as usual, under the balcony of his home. Only it was no longer a home, because the homemaker had fled.

Tell Me...

2011-02-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

I don’t want you to hear me out
when I’m sad and upset
But tell me if you can just listen
to what’s not being said.

I don’t want to know about the great things
that you have overcome
But tell me about the little things
that have made you what you’ve become.

I don’t want to know that thunders of applause
for you feels breathtaking
But tell me about how it feels
when you hear the sound of your dreams breaking.

I don’t want to know about the brilliance
of the sun at the peak of noon
But tell me about the darkest night
in the absence of the moon.

I don’t want to know about your many friends
and what they say and do
But tell me about that one friend
who lets you just be you.

I don’t want to know about all the questions
that you have found answers for
But tell me about that one question’s answer
of which you are still unsure.

I don’t want to know about the things
that you see in broad daylight
But tell me about what you see
after you close your eyes at night.

I don’t want to know about your wounds
that hurt and burn sometimes
But tell me about the ones
that have gone numb with time.

I don’t want to know about the things that you’ve written
in lonesome times on a lonely night
But tell me about the blank pages that are filled
with words you were too reluctant to write.

I don’t want to know about the things
that you would tell the world anyway
But tell me about all the things
that you will never say.

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Happy Valentine's Day to All....

She....

2011-01-25T13:25:00.000-08:00

She walked in, hair swaying in the wind, eyes glancing across the half crowded coffee shop, with a bunch of red roses gripped tightly in her hands. A cat whistle shrilled from across the table where she rested her grip on the flowers. A couple of gawky teenagers couldn’t hide their excitement and let their jaw drop (along with the glass of cold coffee) at the sight of the flower girl. She looked up, sharp eyes, lined with kajal, the type that makes the eyes look even more expressive than how it is on a lazy Sunday morning.

The flowers found a place on the table and one got to see her fingers, beautifully manicured, the ones that would have experienced the choicest of creams, lotions and moisturizers, the ones that always smelt fresh and felt divine. The ones that were always not too far from sanitizers. The ones that had mehendi on them?

Ah! She is married. About to be married? Or her friend just got married. Yes. That should be the case. Phew! That’s a relief.

She sat down at a table that could accommodate only two people. She is expecting company. The electricity just went off, thanks to the heavy rain. A few drops of rain cascaded down her forehead and fell on the table. She carefully took a tissue from her bag (didn’t even bother looking at the pile of tissues folded and placed on the table in a triangular shape by the waiters) and wiped her face, gently, not ruining the kajal. The heart skips another beat. She folds the tissue and places them next to the flowers.

“I’m there”, she said on the phone, that seemed to have magically sprung out of her bag and planted itself to her ears, when the mind was too busy deciding on her relationship status.

“Oh! Another half hour? Shit”, she cursed. The lips seemed so pure, so bright and so sensuous, that one could never expect words other than love, peace, hope, and bliss, let alone profanity. Those lips were meant for kissing. It looked like a painting, perfect, symmetric, orgasmic with the blood red of her lipstick, like the painter's final signature.

The waiter walks up to her table and places a candle and she smiles at him. It’s his lucky day ! He walks away and she lights the candle with her lighter. The candle light falls on her face and the heart skips another beat. Her eyes shine. The light keeps shifting, thanks to the wind; it plays a pattern on her face. Her nose ring twinkles. The light is blinding, making me turn my gaze away from her for just a moment.

She is trying to catch the attention of the waiter. Unaware that she has everybody’s attention. She does realize it. She signals him to get her a hot cappuccino.

The coffee arrives in what felt like milliseconds. She looked awkward trying to open the sachet of sugar to add to her coffee. She spills some on the table-the coffee and the sugar. She looked up to see if someone saw her clumsiness.

Her eyes met mine. I smiled. She was still for a moment before a gentle smile escaped her lips. The candle light was playing tricks. The light and shadow was just too much to handle. I gently nodded my head to greet her. She hesitantly waved back.

I went back to scribble on the tissue paper, the one I had in front of me from the moment I came into the coffee shop. I wanted to write something. In fact I wanted to just keep writing. I had something to write about.

The coffee shop began filling up. The rain was getting heavier and water was dripping from the roof above. People were trying to squeeze into any available space. Tables looked crowded. Privacy could be forgotten. At least till the rain stopped. The air smelt wet. The voices became loud and conversations from every table could be heard clearly. No one went near her table. She still stood out. Alone, beautiful and mesmerizing.

Ever so often, I looked up to see her. I just couldn’t stop. I would then smile to myself and then get back to writing. My coffee was getting cold, partly due to the weather and mostly because I never bothered to drink it.

“What? You’re stuck? It’s pouring here and what do you want me to do?” she spoke on the phone once again. Frustration was written all over her forehead. I could see the lines forming on her clear face. She shook her head and disconnected the call. And I’m certain I heard her swear one last time before hanging up the call.

She glanced towards the flowers that were on the table. She picked up a tissue and began scribbling something. A note I thought. She tucked the note to the flowers and called the waiter. She handed him the flowers and said something, the waiter nodded. He went back to the cash counter, carefully holding the flowers. She took a final sip of her coffee and got up, hand held over her head to protect her from the rain and strode out as briskly as she had come in just a while ago.

The heart skipped another beat.

Do I go behind her? Maybe just talk to her? Would I be seeing her again? Questions flooded my brain. I was snapped out of my trance by the waiter.

“Sir, that madam asked me to give these to you”, he said handing me the flowers.

“Would love to read what you have written about me. Coffee tomorrow at 4?” it read with a smiley at the end.

Crossroads...

2010-08-11T07:33:00.001-07:00

Hey Guys, it has been long since i ve blogged. Well, my blog was getting (in)famous for all the wrong reasons, so decided to take a break. Now, im back - but with no more of the old stuff !!

Anyways, below is some stuff i had written earlier, but not posted .. and some that i wrote just now... enjoy
-----------------------xx--------------------xx-------------------xx-----------------

I am at the crossroads again. When I look to my left, I see a dull road fading away into a misty dusk. When I look to the right, I see a road with cracks so vast and deep, I’m afraid I might fall into one of them. When I look behind me, I see so much hurt and regret that I don’t want to go back. When I try to see ahead, I am unable to figure out what awaits me. I can see the presence of a light, but my heart believes it’s just an illusion, a fatal trap to capture me. And so I just stand there wondering which road to take.

Random thoughts keep springing up in my mind, thoughts that I can’t comprehend. My mind is in chaos and prevents me from thinking straight. Suddenly the world is upside down and everything seems to go wrong. Everything seems so different, unpredictable. Sometimes I wonder if I should even care anymore. I feel I am so complicated at times that even I fail to understand myself. And then I wonder how, when and why I changed so much. I wonder what or who was responsible for this thick wall of indifference that I have built all around me. Sometimes I want to run away, take some other road that I can twist and turn according to my purpose. Sometimes I feel like hurting myself, wondering how it would feel. From where I stand, I see myself as a broken person who is too confused, too weak to decide which road to take.

Emotions are strange, love is stranger. I’ve had enough of both.
Complications never cease and simplicity is so vague. I want neither.
I am at the crossroads again and I don’t know where to go.

------------xx--------------xx-------------------xx-----------------xx-------------

Talking about Crossroads.. we are all now in the 4th month of our MBA . Some came here knowing what they wanted from the 1 year, many came here wanting to “realize” their calling, some came here unplanned. All thought, well, yeah this is it. I ve made it this far. I ll be now take care of.

But ISB is a mess like no other. It is not the result of the efforts, the end of a race, it’s the start of a whole new one. There are quite a few who have figured out what exactly they want out of this one year, what electives they will select, what subject they will major in, what jobs they want. But those are a minority. For each such person, there are many who are confused… OVERWHELMED actually. They just manage to take 1 day at a time & believe me, ISB throws a lot at you in any given “1 day”. For those people, ISB now is like the Crossroads, not knowing which way to turn.

Is it grades that matter, is it competitions, is it ELPs, PaEVs.. and with 570 people vying for everything, some are bound to be left behind. Some are bound to not get a satisfactory answer to their solution. Yeah, everyone will say “ISB is what you make of it”, but well, WHAT should I make of it. There are so many opinions floating around. Who do I listen to, my opinion is already muted in all the barrage of other “knowledgeable” opinions. There are many who feel this, they are lost, confused in this “Truman Show”-esque world !

Have you seen Tom Hanks’ Castaway ? Remember the last scene ? I think that describes this feeling. Perfectly !

---------------------xx-----------------------xx---------------------xx--------------

Raat ke andhere se haar kar chala tha main
socha tha raahon mein roshni to hogi
dhundla sa kahi savera to milega
Koi kiran badalon se nikli to hogi.

Sab raahon ka ant ho gaya
ab tak gum wo savera hai
socha tha raahon me roshni to hogi
aur yahaan manzil par bhi andhera hai.

ISB 4: Exams & Elections

2010-05-20T06:26:00.000-07:00

Here I am !

So, whats been happening…

All roads lead to Rome, its said .. last week – all activities led to Election Campaigning !

We had our mid terms, but more on that later !
1 concerned presidential hopeful mailed everyone saying, “call me if stressed”.

Well, I did not get it. If im really stressed, I would call someone who I a close to so that I can offload n feel better. Someone on twitter commented that it seems like a phone sex helpline ! That’s a bit harsh tho ! but yes, exams also thus became a poll issue

Highlights of the election campaign (Disclaimer: whatever said here is in good humour and ot meant to offend anyone. I respect the intentions of all those who have stood for elections. So, have a good laugh and don’t take offence)

1. Exams becoming a poll issue with 1 candidate mailing students to “call him if stressed” ! Some wisecrack on twitter harshly commented that it sounded like a phone sex helpline ! I think that was quite harsh ! But I feel the mail was pointless – if im stressed, I would rather call someone who im close to and offload my stress.

2. All positive steps suggested by students becoming a poll issue with all candidates jumping on the bandwagon. I ll take example of Sai’s mail regarding professor classes. The GSB presidents replied

a. I agree with Sai. We should… (here he repeats full text of Sai’s mail changing 2 words in the middle)

b. “this is an extreme noble intention & I shall support it” (this is also followed by how he intends to follow it – more or less repeating what Sai said)

c. Some disagreed with another 3 page long mails

d. Interestingly all mails started with either

i. “I don’t intend to spam, but…” – dudeif u dint intend to spam – just mail Sai ! I did that !

ii. “My 2 words on the issue….” – followed by a mail longer than my blogposts ! And people tell me that my posts are too long !

e. One guy “sat with relevant people” (stressed it atleast twice) to improve food quality. He insisted that all thanks should go to another guy who had also accompanied him & all faults should be attributed to him ! Very magnanimous, though I don’t know why he would say it. BUT – to his credit – the food quality has markedly improved & im liking the food since the last 2 days – Kudos – my vote might go to him, considering how important food is in my scheme of things !

f. One tagline said, “whatever I touch, rises” Well, think about its multiple interpretations. I rest my case.

g. For a couple of candidates, the manifestos were more about them than their vision.

Anyways, Soapboxes are done, and I spoke a lot many people and everyone said that no ONE person stood out. That just means that this election might be a close one ending up in a 3 way fight with no one getting absolute majority. Should be interesting.

But, a couple of things worry me

1. A third of the people dint attend the Soap Box

2. MANY who attended thought no candidate stood out
Will this lead to a low voter turnout. The election will be won mainly through lobbying & not through popular vote, I feel. Lets See. Hope the guy vote for wins !

Meanwhile, the ironing guy (lets call him IRONMAN) had misplaced my clothes & inspite of repeated follow ups with him, the maids and security in my SV for over 3 days – I did not get my clothes. I mailed operations and thought if nothing still happens, I ll do the only thing that’ll get my clothes back – inform the Presidential hopefuls ! This would ve been another poll issue, with everyone trying to get my clothes back. Fortunately, Ops guys managed to resolve the issue. But this issue would ve got me a clear inner of my vote ! 

Now, MID TERMS – will finish in a few words, actually one abbreviation – WTF !!!

Gossip Corner:

Ah, the only thing that makes people read my blog ! some people even told me that I should cut out the “useless” stuff & jus report the gossip. That was heartbreak !
Well, I have no gossip unless you consider the following of any interest

1. Another couple making out in one of the SV lawns. Ah, the thrill of PDA in the open outdoors !

2. A couple making out on the school terrace ! That’s something new ! im expecting a lot more visitors to the terrace now, especially when it gets dark

Yup, that’s it .. lots of stuff happening on campus, but a lot of it in the above categories, so its Gossip no more..

Well, there are an exciting 10 days ahead of us, with our GSB prez going to be elected, mid term results being declared & a thousand projects assignments & submissions. . . .all culminating in the END TERM EXAMS.

GOD HELP US !

P.S.
First round election results are out.

And so is the news that LRC will be open till 2 a.m. from next week onwards till exams end. This was mainly due to efforts of a couple of people - Sai, Krishna etc. And this time - NO MAILS to Sai congratulating him !

Is there a link ? Go Figure

The Calm, The Storm & well, The Gossip !

2010-05-08T14:03:00.000-07:00

The Calm
O week was soon over. Talen Nite done, Sports Final done, all other activities done. And our Section – B, was by FAR the one with the lowest aggregate score. Ah well, we said, “ There’s more to life !”

Anyways, now was a week of peace, relaxation & no pre-planned activities. It was time for Pre-Term courses.

There are 3 pre term courses – Accounts, Stats & Quant – all designed to
1. Get ppl up to speed on these topics if they ve forgotten any concepts
2. Teach ppl basic concepts in case they ve not encountered these subjects before
3. Get ppl into Study mode

These course were optional & I had opted to NOT take any of them (something that many ppl congratulated me for & were actually happy for me !)
So, this week, I SLEPT – almost 8-9 hours daily.. sometimes even 10 hours. Considering that there is a Tshirt sold here with the following tagline on it – “ I went to ISB and all I got was 4 hours of sleep”, this was substantial amount of sleep that I was getting.

More seriously, this was the week that I got to know many people. Till now most interaction was limited to a few sentences, exchanging & forgetting names, maybe recollecting faces. I had met ppl during meals, parties, fun activities and never got beyond a few sentences

1. What’s your name
2. Hmm, full name ?
3. Oh yeah – I ve seen you on google groups…
4. So, what SV ?
5. Oh cool, section ?
6. Anyways, catch you… u coming for the party tonight ??

Meanwhile, I would be giving out similar info at the same time. Lets say this was Mr. A. By the time I talk to Mr. E, I just remember the face of Mr A & maybe say hi to him at the party & pretend that I know his name ! im sure he would do the same.
I had just interacted a bit more with my section guys due to Talent Nite, so I knew their names properly! But this week – I got to know the people behind the names. And, that, I think is the most important takeaway that all of us will be getting this year. The people we meet & befriend, the relationships/bonds we form.

I also spent some time (finally) with my study group – went out for a fun dinner with them. These guys are going to be the ones I interact with the most over the next 6 months and I really wanted to get to know them, n get along with them.

Another set of people I went out with were my quad-mates – we went to a tiny little punjabi dhaba that served awesome food & then went for a movie. I guess that’s the max time I ve spent with them considering now we have different schedules n I don’t see more than 1 of them at a time & don’t go beyond saying, “hi, how was your day” ! But they are really cool people !

I went out into the city too a couple of times. The most fun was when 5 of us went out, had awesome Chaats at Ohris that reminded me of Mumbai ! and then, I looked around for Aam-ras at over 6 food outlets, but with no success. I mean – summer without aam-ras is just pointless ! but, rest assured, the search shall go on ! whenever I have the time.

Well, the week reached the weekend – and we had leadership development sessions from 9-7 on both days + readings to be done for the terms, so the weekend jus went by, though there was a party & a karaoke night + screenings of the IPL semi finals & Finals that we managed to squeeze in somewhere. I ve realized that I tend to do a lot more with my time here. I ve been playing & losing squash & badminton on a regular basis, but I feel im getting better. Its fun.

People around – faculty, alums etc keep scaring us about Term beginning saying that we wont know what hit us once term begins, that it ll be a flurry of continuous activity & you wont ve time for anything, that anything that you do over classes, projects & meals will eat into ur sleep time. Well, I say, we’ll cross the bridge when we some to it. 3000 people ve done it, and 580 shall do it this year. And I will be one of them. Amen !

----------------------xx-----------------------------xx------------------------------

The Storm

Yesterday, the famed ISB infrastructure leaked water from all cracks & crevices.. There was a mini storm with heavy rains & very high speed winds that blew the furniture in the atrium all over the place & I know atleast 2 girla who while crossing the atrium were pushed sideways by the wind, even tho one of them was holding on to me ! All in all – it was awesome weather. I, for one, love the rains & felt like getting drenched. My laptop on my back stopped me.

This was a storm of nature, very different from the storm brewing on campus !
Term 1 had started. Lectures from 8 15 in the morning, tons of pre read (which yes, as the alums predicted – I ve been avoiding ), assignments, quizzes, tests and of course parties, club presentations, outings, etc.. etc & some sleep amidst it all.

Life is absolutely crazy here.

Studies – well, the quantum is not very much, its quite manageable – but im having trouble with eco & stats, but yeah – trying very hard to get comfy with them.
Parties – I dunno how to say this, but im tired of the number of parties. Last weekend, there were 3, this weekend, there were 2. I just go for a couple of hours and leave. I really see no point in spending more time. But maybe, its just me !

But, our section had an awesome party at Hard Rock and I ve had lots of wonderful dinners at places around – Haveli, Ohris, Little Italy, Wonton etc etc.

Assignments – I shall only talk about marketing here. Over 70% of my time apart from sleep was spent on marketing last week. It just doesn’t give you time for anything else. There was a case study that kept half the college awake at any point of time over 2 days. And at the end of it, I still find myself asking WHY ? The subject marketing is teaching me more about group & people management than about marketing. One ends up spending so much time with the study group, you get to know their peculiarities, working styles, likes, dislikes, irritants, quirks… I ve quite a good study group – I don’t agree with them on all things, but we manage to get by pretty well !

Also, I finally spent over half an hour – at a stretch – with my quad-mates. FINALLY ! we watched “Love, cash .. something” on Channel V. hahahah ! Quality Time, eh ? Chick, aren’t we ?

Talking about chicks, well – they r all married.

Here’s an actual conversation – I was party to it. Girl – A, Guy B & Me

Guy: dude, there are no single chicks on campus
Me: Yeah – they are all married
Guy: no one is cute
Me: Yeah, they are all married
Guy to girl: Can you do a survey of all available single chicks for me .. plz..
Me: No use dude.. the single ones – they too are married !

Another. Guy A & Guy B. (maybe one of them is me )

A: dude, the girl you were eyeing yesterday – she is married
B: (trying not to show any emotion): who ?
A: (says the name)
B: oh, is she. Hmm, doesn’t look like it
A: I know !! when I got to know, I was shocked too
B: but she doesn’t even wear her ring !
A: yeah, I checked out her FB profile, nothing mentioned there too
B: this is just unfair – its ok if u r married – atleast be open about it. you should let people know !
A: I know ! ! ! forget it.. the sad part is, all the others have boyfriends.

So, yes – there are tons of things here, but time is made for everything. Sleep is the only ting compromised upon, and for that – we have Thursdays !

Mid Terms ! Exams ! What, already ??

When the alums said, that the year would be a fast paced conveyor belt, we didn’t realize it’ll be this fast. Exams are on our head already. Suddenly I see so many people, including me, spending so much time in the LRC or in the confines of their quads / studios. Not that we are all very studious, but the fact is that, no one has studied anything till now & when people get back to studies after 3, 4, 5 years of last seeing a book over 100 pages, it takes time for the gyaan to sink in. The struggle will continue till Saturday next week & then after a day of partying, Term 1 part B will start wit exams in, wait for it, another 2 weeks !

Gossip Monger Corner (if this doesn’t make my blog famous, nothing will)

Ok, its been 2 weeks on campus. Before coming, all friends had told me abt how there’ll be many hok ups on campus n stuff. And, I was waiting for news to percolate – well – I have some now. I cannot reveal names & details n I really don’t know that much, but well – gotta create interest in the blog na !!
So, here goes – again, this is only what I ve heard – some might not be true, but im pretty sure its all true.. hehehe.. I ll substitute names with letters of alphabets & not disclose who is the guy & who is the girl.

1. X & Y were making of at one of the parties. X & Y have been seen together by all & sundry. Their stuff / belongings – books etc is mostly lying at each others places. They come to class together and leave together. Both are late together.

2. A & B have been seen together since almost beginning of term & apparently A had eyes on B from before ISB via FB. Well, it seems to ve worked out well for A, coz B sure seems smitten. But, wait – there’s a third spoke in the wheel – C ! C has eyes on B too & well, lets see where tht story goes. I ve heard B is playing for time n not making a decision. A sure has a huge lead.

3. P & Q were allegedly seen making out at one of the SVs. Now, I don’t understand why one would make out in public if everyone has rooms here, but you never know . I don’t know the status on P & Q, but the street says that Q is not the kinds that would take any such things seriously. But you never know. Well, here there is R too, who, allegedly again, has the hots for Q, but has been looking quite “lost” these days. Last seen – Q & R at an SV were P resides. P not seen there.

Well, that’s all… maybe I get more gossip & further updates, maybe I don’t. Next post will most definitely be after Mid Terms. So, ALL THE BEST GUYS !!!

P.S. - in the last 3 days, atleast 5 people doubted my being a CA, saying stuff that ranged from

" you can't be a CA"
" you dont look like a CA, chashme nahi hai"
" scope hi nahi hai .. you dont look like or seem like a CA"
" a person who is so verbose, cant be a CA"
" hahahahahahahaha"
" if you are a CA, howcome you just got 18 on the accounts quiz"

Well to all of you - i really dont care !!! :-)

ISB 2: "O" Week

2010-04-26T05:51:00.000-07:00

“O” Week stands for Orientation Week. Since ISB’s is a 1 year course, we do not get time with alumni to get general gyaan, guidance n to know them. So, the alums stay back the first 10 days of our time here to spend time with us n arrange lots of activities n parties n gyaan sessions for us.

Basically our O week comprised
THEME PARTIES
Team Building Activities
Sports
Talent nite
Club Presentations

I will not describe each n everythng that happened, but will give you the highlights.

It began with the Dean’s address.. apart from stressing the need to enjoy n not get lost on the rat race and the whole melee of activities, he said – “we are your family here and wont let you feel away from home… if there is a specific way your parents scold us, let us know – we will scold you the same way !”
Such things stay with you. They show that we, as students, as people, matter to the institution. It makes you feel welcome, and for people like me – away from home for the first time – it makes you feel home..

Now, on to the other stuff !

We, the students are divided into 8 sections of abt 70 each – A-H. I will have my classes for the first 4 terms with my section. There will be very little chance of me interacting with the other 500 ppl. So, this orientation week, we were all jumbled up for each activity, so we get to know diff people in an informal environment. It was extremely tiring all week, with me getting just a few hours of sleep daily-4 hrs on an average.

We had a painting competition where each team of abt 30 was allocated an alumnus of a particular yr who would describe his experiences of that yr and then the team had to paint those experiences on a 10 feet long chart paper – painting to be done using only hands & feet n nothing else !

Then there were those usual office off site outdoor games that people play – those were organised for us for 2 days from 9 a.m. – 7 p.m…

There was a treasure hunt that helped us get to know our campus better. We had to interprest 8 clues n go to those places in that order. At each place, we had to take signoff on a sheet of paper from an alum, but they gave us a certain task to do before the sign off. People were made to sing, dance, put up a show – guys had to take off their shirts.. guys had to kiss other guys .. girls had to propose an alum n convince him to take her home..in 1 case, 1 team member had to finish a huge bottle of beer – almost 750 ml & whenever he/she stops in the middle, the remaining team members were to be sprayed with water from a hose pipe !!!
In 1 instance, the alums told us that we have to do anything that shocked them ! after failing to cinvince 2 girls to make out, I came up with another plan. We were 10, so 8 of them did a mini dance in from of the alums, when me n another guy came up from behind n poured a bottle of water on the alum’s head !! needless to say, they were “shocked” ! FUN !!!

Through all these activities, now I realise, I met so many ppl tht I ll probably not even meet for the next 6 months coz our class timings might be different n stuff. It was really cool.

Then there wer the sports – cricket n football competition.. I participated in the football. Was slated to go for cricket too, but I was enjoying playing badminton that time, so backed out !

Also, there was a section gyaan session with my section (B). In that, we had to get up, say our names n say 1 exciting/whacky thing about ourselves –n ppl have done seom crazy things.. the most exciting – unheard of things I ll tell u
1. One guy had a pet snake – a boa constrictor !
2. One guy said, “My name is Al Ameen, and I am not a terrorist !!”
3. We have an army colonel ! He said, “My name is Rajeev Sekhar and I have killed 2 pakis !!!” The whole class was stunned into silence !
4. One guy can play the mouth organ like a dream !!
5. One guy said, “im a metrosexual.. I use all those face creams..” hahahaha .. I ve already named him METRO & the name has caught on !!!

The parties !!! We ve had 4 .. one was a welcome party for us – these was BACK TO SCHOOL – we had to dress up in shorts, shirt & tie.. it was fun.. everyone had dressed up. The parties go on from 9 30 to abt 5 in the morning. Bad part for drinkers is that booze is not free, it doesn’t matter to me. There was a BOLLYWOOD theme party and another party that we had thrown for the ALUMS – booze was free for them. I went for the 1st party at 9 30 sharp n was exhausted dancing by 12 30, went home n slept. Next day I learnt tht party picks up abt abt 1..so, I went for Bollywood Party at 12 30 n was there till 3 30… The Alums party was a boring affair coz I think ppl were exhausted of this lifestyle n many chose to sit it out. I too went at 2 & left at 3.

The Talent night was awesome – I did the salsa ! It was “ok” coz we were 2 couples n synchronisation was a problem coz of lack of practice. Also the other guy was a 5 yr salsa veteran, so it was tough for me to learn all the steps.

BEE - Our Mascot !!

That apart, I must say the talent in this batch is AWESOME. There is a girl drummer, who is, there are awesome singers & composers. There was a jugglery act that mind blowing. There are awesome guitar players who sing and play at the same time n to hear them is pure bliss. There are jive, salsa & hip hop dancers as good as my salsa instructors in Mumbai. I must also comment here on the diversity of people – there are doctors, lawyers, A Tamil Actress, a boxer, a district level badminton player, a UP Superintendent of Police, an ex-army colonel who has served 22 years in the army, a Japanese Monk, a few Spanish guys, one of who speaks impeccable hindi and can even sing hindi songs. He is now learning Tamil. We have professional photographers. There is an ex rock band member with tattoos all over his arms. It is overwhelming, awe inspiring & makes you feel small !

Talent night was yesterday followed by individual parties by some sections. So, I got home at 4 in the morning & finally got a 6 hr sleep from 5-11. I was sceptical of having to sleep for 4 hrs all yr, now I think I can manage a few days of 4-5 hrs at a stretch if I get a 6-7 hr once in a week ! This is what O week has done. Taken me out of my comfort zone & made me OK with a 4 hr sleep at night - somethng i was dreading and thought would never be able to manage with.

Also – I ve been playing a lot of badminton, including sometimes at 2 in the night – it is FUN. There is a music room too with people jamming there all night. There are lawns in each SV where people sit & jam n talk all night – its just a wonderful environment .. but yes, studies havent started yet. Things can undergo a drastic change.

That’s all the updates I have from you. The next mail could be a very boring one coz im free all week n planning to rest a lot.

ISB 1: The Journey Begins

2010-04-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

11th April, 2010. Sunday

Hey guys, I got my laptop today ! I ve been here for just 4 days, but it seems like a long time back that I actually left Mumbai. Leaving home – it was not easy. When the train left Mumbai station, it felt as if the train was moving, but I was still there. Still home. Just still.

But soon, I reached the city I will be staying in for the next year – Hyderabad.

The City – is divided into Old Hyderabad & New Hyderabad. Old Hyderabad has tourist attarctions like Husainsagar Lake, Charminar & Golconda Fort. Its heavily populated with Muslims and in general has lost its charm. New Hyderabad is basically areas like Jubilee Hills, Banjara Hills etc. – this is the usual metro city set up with malls, and more malls – NO FUN ! The food everywhere is Biryani, other kinds of rices, lots of non-veg & lots of veg south indian. There is a huge restaurant chain called Chutneys here. It has some awesome but quite expensive south indian food with an awesome collection of chutneys that we’ ve never tasted before. Anyways, enough about the city.

Now on to the campus. If I had one word to describe it, it would be breathtaking. If I had more words, I would use beautiful, clean, beautiful again, awesome, beautiful once more !!! It’s a campus sprawling over 260 acres, lush with greenery all over. I ll try explaining the structure now and I ll also introduce a few new terminologies and acronyms that I ll be using over the next year in my mails ! Also, there are come peacocks on the campus grounds too 

The Academic Block (the building where our classes take place)is a square structure with outlets on all 4 sides. It has a circular structure within it (remember my Yes Bank Worli office – similar but half its height & much more in diameter). This circular structure is a 5 storey LIBRARY ! It houses thousands of books, a radio club / radio station, a hude DVD collection, magazines & research reports & the IT dept of the campus. Its is jus beautiful with its spiral staircase and nice, filled bookstands. There are reading rooms on each level & also a computer lab. The square structure surrounding it has our classrooms and a bhaidas like auditorium. The classrooms are beautiful and sitting in it, I realised they r quite conducive to studying, I don’t know why though – but you actually feel like studying inside them !!! Classrooms are curved with the seating in a semi circle kinda thing (remember Munnabhai 1 ka class – same shape, but smaller – can seat 70). The classrooms are called AC 1/2/3/…8 LT/MLT. AC stands for Academic Centre , there are 8 of those – 4 at the corners of the square structure & 4 in the mid point of each side .. hehe.. LT – Lecture Theatre, MLT – Mini Lecture Theatre.

There are even a couple of LTs with 2 ceiling to floor LCD screens in it for conducting lectures via video conferencing. That’ll be really cool, I think !!
There are 4 hostels – called Student Villages, and they actually are villages. Each house about 200 people – considering there are families with kida also on campus. There are 2 kinds of rooms – a Studio & a Quad. A studio is for families – it’s a proper HUGE 1 room kitchen – bigger than a 1 BHK of Mumbai. A Quad is shared accomodation – 4 people share it. It opens into a huge rectangular hall with 4 bedrooms at the 4 corners & 2 bathrooms. So, I have my personal bedroom – its quite comfortable – abt 140 sqft & has a single bed, study table, ceiling to floor windows that open into flower beds (its on the ground floor) and a cupboard, side table & study book cabinet.

Other wise the facilities in the studios & quads are – 1 refrigerator, 2 clothes drying racks, 1 television, and since our SV – SV4 is the latest to have been constructed – it has nice marbonite flooring and a 32 inch LG LCD television !!! Awesome – tho I ve not yet watched TV after coming here !!
Apart from all this, there are many facilities on campus – there is a Departmental Store – MORE, a 4 bed clinic with a resident doc n nurse, a medicine shop, a counselling centre for ppl with depression issues, issues of fitting in, marital discords sue to stress of the academic yr etc etc…. then there is a amphitheatre, a open air bar & lounge wher we’ve been having parties every alternate day from 9:30 p.m. to 5 a.m., a recreation club with snooker, carrom, badminton, squash courts, a huge gymnasium & na huge swimming pool. There are 2 tennis courts & a football ground…. There is bloody so much, it feels bad that one has to actually study. The spouses & little kids have a fun time all year. The kids have a small nursery & a playing garden for themselves.

Anyways, that’s all from my side till now – have lots of other stuff to tell you’ll that I ll post about in a few days...

Click on link below for snaps:

http://picasaweb.google.com/mihirskamdar/ISBApril2010_1?authkey=Gv1sRgCKa_0c3pzO6F1wE&feat=directlink

Rajasthan Trip: III

2010-01-18T23:09:00.000-08:00

Day 3 - The Long Drive

The Long Road Ahead

My birthday today !! And my friends gifted me a day long drive on absolutely awesome roads. We had to cover approximate 700 kms and we did it in 10 hours !!! The roads were beautiful & smooth, with our average speed over the last 3 hours coming to 110 kmph, this without unnecessary speeding. We passed through a lot of dry land, with salt pan on both sides of the road. This is where we got a glimpse of the “cracked ground” like that of drought areas.

Salt Pans

Windmills

We reached Mt. Abu when it was dark & booked into a nice hotel that gave us a huge room – very cosy & comfortable. Varun went to get us some hard drinks on a bike of the hotel manager & came back frozen !!! The bike was speeding in the cold & windy roads of abu & poor Varun was its victim. He had held the vodka bottle in his frozen hands, and we pretty much didn’t need ice in our pegs after that !!

Kaushik & Varun had got a cake for me & we celebrated the cake cutting with no one singing happy birthday, me wishing myself as i cut the cake & Varun dancing his crazy dance !

All in all it was an awesome night & the Rajasthan leg of the trip began on that note !

Day 4 - The Great Hotel Hunt

We woke up late and checked out of our hotel only by 10. We thought we were late, only to find out that Dilwara temple opens only at 12 !!

We visited Nakki lake first. Nakki Lake derives its name from the famous mythological story that lies behind the creation of this lake. It is said that Devtas ( Gods ) had dug this lake in the centre of Mount Abu using their nails or nakh. This lake is the only artificial lake in India.

Nakki Lake

Ducks at the lake

Here Varun got his snap clicked in royal Rajasthan clothing – a tradition for him – he does that in almost all places he goes to. After a heavy breakfast, we visited the dilwara temple.

The Dilwara Jain Temple is one of the most famous and beautiful Jain temple in the world. The architecture and stone carvings are something note worthy. The interior decoration of the temple showcases the architectural brilliance and the grandeur of human craftsmanship. These temples were built in the period between 11th to 13th centuries A.D. The ornamental details carved out of marble on the ceilings and on the pillars are extremely beautiful.

The drive to Jodhpur was absolutely rocking. Rajasthan roads are as good, if not better than Gujarat Roads. We reached jodhpur in the evening and then began the great hotel hunt.

Once you enter the city, you realise that it is full of 2 wheelers and rickshaws crawling all over it. Roads are confusing and hotels are mostly scattered. Most budget hotels are found on “nai sadak”, but many are dingy. We finally managed to get into a semi dingy hotel, for lack of choice and also because we were super tired and irritated.

And then my major shopping. I bought kilos and kilos of sweets – gajak, revdi and tal papad. This was all done in some random wholesaler shop in random “jodhpur ki galli”.

One of the Jodhpur ki Gallis

BUT, this offered kaushik some awesome opportunities to click some postcard snaps and also practice night photography. These snaps are almost magazine worthy.

Electricity in India

Bust-ed

Local Cricket Team

The rickshaws of Rajasthan are huge – with atleast 2 times the leg space of mumbai rickshaws, and they are colourful and decorated. Varun wanted to sit in one and we decided to make a visit to the umed bhavan palace travelling by rick. Now, visitors post 5 p.m. are not allowed through the gates.

Umed Bhavan Palace by night

But we told the watchmen there that we would be having dinner at the palace, so they let us in ! Hehehe. We went in, clicked snaps till the guards shouted at us not to. Happy, we left and went back to the hotel. The blue city was waiting for us tomorrow !!

And another day ends, another sun sets

Trip to Rajasthan - II: A Royal Visit

2010-01-15T03:21:00.000-08:00

That's me looking forward to the day !!

Day 2 began on a lazy note with us leaving Diu at 10. We were expecting the drive to be long with bad roads, but luckily the roads were very nice only with some bad patches. We just took about 3 hours and we were at Gir. Varun ensured that this time the hotel search did not take much time & we had a nice big room for 500. But the best part was the sitting area outside our room. It was covered with trees, protected from the sun & offered the perfect ambience for some drinks & hukka. (neither happened though !!!)

After a quick but tasty lunch, we hurried to the lion safari spot where the rides were to begin by 3.

Now there are 2 types of safaris

a. Where you take a private jeep into the jungle for 3 hours. This charges you Rs.900, but the catch is that this goes into the open jungle of area of 1400 sq km and covers only a set path of 20 km or so. So, NO GUARANTEE of seeing the lion
b. Where you go into the jungle in a 25 seater bus. BUT, this bus roams around in an ENCLOSED area of 4 sq. Km. which reportedly has 16 lions in it !! Thus, a
sighting is all but guaranteed.

You don’t require brains to choose between the options !!!

Seated in the bus, with 2 cameras and 2 window seats (Kaushik, legally & Mihir, illegally !!) with Varun ready to jump on any side depending where the lion was sighted, we left.

After random deer & sambars, we made a sighting . . . and what a sighting it was !

We saw a dark maned lion, 2 lionesses & 2 cubs (quite large, though). The lion lived upto its reputation of being a lazy animal (it was sleeping throughout the 10-15 minutes our bus was there. It slept through all whistles, noises we made, roar of the lioness, noise of the bus and yes, an attempted stone throw on it by Varun !!!

Mujhko neend aa rahi hai, sone do !!!

We were super excited and went on a photo shooting spree. Everyone in the bus was falling over each other in order to get a better view.

A prince was lying just in front of my window, say 20 feet away. It looked at us, it sneezed, it yawned.

After the sneeze

Yawnnn !!!

The other prince was walked towards it and played with it for some time. These were unbelievable scenes for all of us !

The playing cubs

Can you see the similarity with dogs here ???

Then the Queen walked towards the kids. And this was a scene straight out of Kaal, just replace the tiger with the lioness. She played around with the kids & sat a few feet away. At this time, Varun bribed the bus driver to go a bit closer to them. Rs. 20 did the trick that a lot of convincing could not do !! And, we were closer. More photos followed. Videos of “the walk” were taken too.

About to get up !!

The WALK

As a gift to us, the lioness roared for us too, showing her jaws in full glory. And what a scene that was !!

The ROAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!!!!!!

This was turning out to be a once in a lifetime experience for us. Unfortunately, we could capture the King Lion only in his sleeping posture.

On our way back, we were just looking at the photographs, least interested in the remaining part of the safari. It ended soon & we were having the feeling of a “vasool” trip.

Varun actually named the trip the “chill” trip. With no drinks, chilling took a different meaning though. Dinner was sumptuous in pure gujju style – we had bhakri, ghee, jaggery & khichdi among other things. The Menu was the most funny and so it deserved the snap attached here !

Check out the spellings - of everything !!!

Next day did not sound as interesting with a 750 km drive to Abu ahead of us. Let’s see what’s in store ! Keep checking this blog for more !!!

Trip to Rajasthan - I

2010-01-13T01:02:00.000-08:00

Day – 1 – Life’s a Beach

The trip was to Rajasthan with Diu & Gir added in for good measure. 9 days, 4000 km,3 roadsters – sounds like fun ! So, here goes..

Start Point: Borivali, 12 a.m., 12th Dec, 2009
End Point: Diu, 14:30 p.m., 12th December, 2009
Distance covered: 825 km

We had decided to leave from mumbai at 8 p.m., but extra office workload delayed Mihir & we ended up laving from Borivali only at 12:00 p.m. With Varun having taken leave for 2 days prior to the trip, he was the one at the wheel. Kaushik & Mihir were keeping him company intermittently.

With nice roads & soothing music, our trip began. Mostly uneventful, it was a smooth ride. But, yes, we satisfied our hunger pangs !! We had already had had dinner, but managed to consume 4 aloo parathas, 4 sandwiches, 4 kokis (a type of sindhi paratha, the most heavy snack of all), 30 theplas and a packet of potato chips by afternoon.

A Mountain of SALT

2 things hampered our smooth ride;

a. A major traffic jam comprising hundreds of trucks at Bharuch. Luckily we found some place to off road on the left, and that helped us overtake the trucks quickly. It took us about half an hour to get through the jam, but we easily saved atleast an hour more !

b. Bad Bad roads towards the end of our drive. The last 50 kms (from Mahuva to Diu) were absolutely bad roads – uneven with the top washed off. These 50 kms spoilt our speed because it took us an agonising 2+ hours to cover.

This is where the Fevicol ad originated

And then we reached Diu.

Diu is a small place – you can drive from one end to the other in half an hour tops. Roads are nice and it’s all beach side. The beaches were cleaner than expected and if you discount the crowd there, quite beautiful too !

Places to visit in Diu – Nagoa Beach, Diu Fort and a sea shells museum. The beach is clean, but crowded with rowdy types people mostly ! You may venture on it during late evenings. The fort is nothing too exciting, but yes the seashells museum is worth checking out, it’s quite interesting.

Some views of the Beach

After a long long search (as per Varun, our longest search till now in all the road trips put together), we found a decent, reasonable hotel. Immediately after booking the hotel, we went for lunch (yes, we were still hungry) and at this beach side restaurant called Dub Chick (nope, no chicks there), we ate – ate from 4 p.m. to 8 30 p.m. continuously. Obviously, accompanied by drinks. Post this combined Lunch & dinner, we were too exhausted, drunk and full to do anything else. We just crashed on our beds as soon as we reached out rooms.

Start of the food binge at 4 p.m. - thats me

And yes, we are stil here at 8:30

Yes, how can one forget to mention the newest gadgets we carried – a canon eos 500 D (15 MP camera with a 100 different modes !) and an Acer netbook (a 10” screen, 125 GB hard disk laptop). It’s the age of live updates, isn’t it. And if my blackberry was compatible with the laptop, you would ve read this daily account as and when it happened. Maybe next time !

All in all, it was a lazy day once we reached diu. Just eating & sleeping. Best summed up in this conversation that happened when Mihir woke up in the morning

Mihir: (still half asleep): Kaushik its sunday today na ?

Kaushik: (almost fully asleep): yes, why not(as if it matters)??

Tomorrow was the day when we had an appointment with The King of the Jungle. Watch this space for more !

Some other photographs

Mai nikla gaddi leke

No Smoking !! - My friends-Kaushik & Varun

Phool Aur Kaante

The Beach at night

CROSSWORD

2009-12-22T03:48:00.000-08:00

He stretched his legs and rested them on the wall of the balcony. Winter dust filtered through the dense foliage of the old tree and formed an elegant pattern on his black track pants. He squinted at the pattern. His eyes focused on the tiny specks of illuminated dust while his mind sought to sort out the various thoughts raging inside his mind.

It did not feel like a Sunday.

He felt as tired as on any regular day. Last night had barely brought him any sleep. His mind felt battered and worn out. He seemed unable to shake off the cruel shackles of work. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He did not want to think about work.

He missed her.

He missed her nonsensical chatter. He missed the way her lips would curl in a mischievous smile. He missed the way she would rest her elbows on the pillow and narrate yet another wonderful brainstorm, passion lighting her eyes with an excited glow. He missed the way she would feel in his arms; seeking comfort in his protective embrace and parting a calm of her own. It was so very easy to forget all about stress and strain and drown himself in her magical world. He wanted her to return from her mother’s soon, very soon.

He shook his head in attempt to shake off the despair which hung heavy about him. His ears picked up the muffled footsteps of his household help as he ushered in tray loaded with warm tea and breakfast onto the balcony. He watched in amazement as the boy lifted a steaming mug of coffee and placed it beside his chai.

"Coffee?" he asked frowning.
"Madam arrived last night," the boy informed him. "She did not want to disturb you so she slept in the guest room."

She was here?!

As if on cue she appeared in the doorway. He smiled at her. He loved the way she looked in the mornings. Her tossled curls framed her face in an adroable disarray. She wriggled her toes and lifted one elegant hand to rub the sleep off her eyes. She leafed through the scattered newspapers and picked up the page she was looking for.
She sat on his lap and snuggled into his chest. All despairing thoughts scattered into the faint cold breeze and floated away to some far away place. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on her forehead. She spread the paper before her and picked up a pen from the table.
He sat there, content to be staring at her while she frowned at the paper and chewed on the back of her pen. She looked up confusion clouding her intoxicating eyes.

"A three letter word for perfect?"
"YOU"

Back with a Bang

2009-11-09T01:14:00.000-08:00

So , the last time I wrote something here , was a time when Kapil Dev was in polka dotted diapers and dinosaurs used to prance around the earth with gay abandon . Ok , that’s a slight exaggeration about the extent of my absence , but you get the drift.

Absenteeism reasons , though I assume you care more about the dirt stuck under the nail on your left little finger than my absenteeism reasons , range from being out of the city on a 15 day road trip to Ladakh, to , settling in a job where the best part of my day remains hitting the shut down button on my 256 MB RAM laptop, to, discovering that I don’t have enough money to buy the new cell phone I so covet, to, recovering from body (including buttocks) pains ever Monday from rigorous dance practice on weekends for an upcoming friend’s wedding. (she better be thankful for all that we are doing, and more so, she better be thankful for all that we are NOT doing !)

But, tonight I think, I will talk about something – which is totally unaligned with the kind of person I am . I mean , considering the kind of person I am , the deepest conversation I should be having should be about some elephant with a real bad desire for a female…elephant ! , but I say with the unflinching honesty of a Vinod Kambli on Sach ka Saamna , I am not trying to seem like the next Aristotle here . All I am trying to do is talk rather pointlessly about something which has been hovering in the back alleys of my mind since quite some time with the feeble yet significant buzz of a mosquito trapped in your ear canal – Death . . & birth.

Death , you know . That part of life which ends it. Considering that I have not yet not died though many sensible people have tried to eradicate me, I don’t know how it must be after death , but I do imagine it to be very quiet , relaxed , solitary and chill after death . I am not sure if there is a heaven for the good guys and a hell for the bad guys, and as a result , I am not very concerned about the old woman I pushed off the stairs last week . I mean, you understand how annoying it is to be not be able to rush down the stairs because a 67 year old ahead of you moves slower than a sofa , don’t you ? But the fact remains that I am going to die someday, whether it happens when I am digging into a cheese grilled sandwich ( I hope I have finished the most of it by that time , mommy says food should not be wasted ) or it happens when I am wedged between the a BEST bus & L&T tractor (Yes, that’s actually possible if you walk in Andheri east) , whether I am going to be regaled by Arabian dancers in some heaven , or be served as supper to hungry devils in a green tubelight-ed hell .

And you know, what I am thinking about is that moment , that moment which is sitting delicately at the end of the road called life as it ends , yet opens up into the unknown chasm called death . That moment, when I will be on the verge of being lifted by death , and I will know in my heart “Shit yaar , yeh end hai , ab picchar baaki nahi hai mere dost” . Now no “Dawa ya Dua” can save me ! No people , no movies , no cars , no job , no relationships , no money , no smiles , no Himesh Reshammiya , no fights , no competitions , no career , no TV , nothing , after the event called Death.

That moment , when I will know in my heart , that irrespective of my willingness to go or not , I would be gone next moment . In that moment , I imagine myself to feel guilty about the heart I broke , happy about the smile I brought on a face , sad about the moment I should have told my mother I loved her but did not , proud of the moment I believed in someone and stood by her , happy about the times I spent laughing with my friends , grateful for the moments somebody knew me as I am and accepted me , heartbroken about being a son lesser than a son I should have been . And just experiencing a little of that moment by writing about it , I am shocked by how easily do I forget what really matters . I mean , how easily do I forget that I am going to die and a lot of stuff doesn’t really matter . How easily do I forget that however blind I may try to be to my reality , that moment will thrust the sum of deeds in my face without leaving me with an escape route . How easily do I allow myself to lose perspective and be drowned in the useless ego fights , pointlessly hurting the very people I love , choosing not to say sorry just because I am too proud to do so, being afraid of taking that stupid seeming but heartfelt leap because I never have . How easily I forget the impending arrival of that last moment , and as a result , how easily I forget what really matters during the moments I have between now and that moment . How easily I shut up my heart and listen to all the voices around me , when in the end , the only voice I will have to hear is the voice of my heart .

How easily I forget death , and thus , how easily I forget how to live .

I mean , sometimes I really need this perspective check and get out of the holed up thinking and view life in a more cool manner . Saala khul ke jeena bhool jaata hoon yaar . I mean , I act like I have a lot to lose and get all scared and calculated , when hai kya mere paas khone ke liye ?

I know you are either confused , or bored , or both and would label the drivel above as some cheap regurgitation of some pocket book sized Geeta I recently read . But you know , I am just talking to myself.

So chill , don’t walk out of this blog feeling all suicidal and kill yourself by smelling your own feet . Aise hee baat kar raha tha dudes .

Now, let’s talk about birth, though im tempted to talk about what causes it ! Lets leave that for another blog.

Birth – having a kid, being a father. It’s an alien comcept to me. One of my closest college friends is about to become a father in a few months. We were in college together, very close friends until some misunderstandings drove us apart. (DCH was based on us actually !!! yes, there was a 3rd friend too – again, lets leave that for another blog !) But, solely due to his large heartedness, and willingness to let bygones be bygones, we are friends again, not as good, but im hoping we shall be with time.

So, coming back, we were in college together and well, were, so to say, in the same place as far as life was concerned. Don’t know how else to explain this. Anyways, he got married early, which at that time was a pleasant surprise for me. I was happy for him. Now, he is on the anvil of fatherhood and this put me into deep thought.

I am the same age, yet so far from feeling like I can actually get married and have a kid. Getting married, yes, I can still think about. But fathering a kid – I stil think I am a kid ! So, I was just thinking about how our thoughts have changed over the years. He is ready (he better be) to bring another living being into this world, to provide for it, to nurture it. I, on the other hand, do not trust myself enough to be able to do that satisfactorily. I love kids, as long as they are someone else’s. It’s one thing to hold them, to play with them, be silly and make them smile. But it’s quite another thing to actually raise a child. My friend and I, we were at the same place mentally once, 5 years back. We are poles apart now.
Will I ever be there, where he is ? I hope so.

Anyways, moving on, I ve been watching a lot of movies recently – the ones I liked recently are – Inglorious Basterds (Tarantino Zindabad !), UP, All the Best & Jail. Did not like Ajab Prem. Wake up Sid falls somewhere in the middle. Neil Nitin Mukesh’s nickname is “frozen face” from now on & Ranbir absolutely ROCKS !

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my return to the blogging world. Too bad if you didn’t, coz baby, I’M BACK !!!!!!!!!

It's tough to say Goodbye

2009-09-24T23:27:00.000-07:00

The Gang

Time: 11:30 p.m.
Place: Outside Yoko’s – our FIRST hangout place !

“Where is he ?”, I asked Kauhik (Koseek) & Varun (Va) as soon as I reached.
“He’ll directly meet us at Gokul”. We left immediately for Gokul.

Time: 11:40
Place: Gokul

Rahul (Ra) usually takes our order n gets us all our ice creams. Today was going to be no different ! As usual, we order 5 ice creams among the 4 of us (1 for each & 1 special flavor common for all !). And the conversation started . . .

Me: “my ice cream is ridiculous”.
I had a habit of tasting new flavours every time & “coffee-walnut: certainly didn’t meet my approval.

Va: “I told you. Why do you mix random things like coffee n walnut”.
I had seen him shake his head in disbelief when he first heard me mulling over coffee walnut !!

Suddenly, I dropped a piece of my ice cream while eating & scooped it up and put it on a tissue paper.
Koseek:“What are you doing dude ?”

Me: “Arre, it had fallen down – im just putting it away”

Koseek: “Oh, I thought you were saving some for the crows, like so many people do. Hahah !”

Me: “Hey, is this a belief in Sindhis predominantly ? I had a sindhi female in my previous office who also daily kept aside some of her lunch, went to the terrace n offered it to the crows !”

Koseek: “Not specifically sindhis. When someone in the family dies, it is believed that he/she turns into a crow and that is how it starts. Someone must’ve dies in her family.”

Me: “Yeah, dying waala funda I know. My mom also believes that. I don’t”

Va: “Arre, I also believe that yaar. My dada had expired. Since then we started offering bread butter to a particular SAME crow that visited our window every morning. And im very sure it was the same crow And he NEVER accepted bread without butter ! He used to thow it back in from the window ! My dad also ALWAYS wanted ghee or butter on his bread. And the clincher, once I was alone at home n smoking at the window – we were in school – and the cow was perched on a branch opposite my window & ANGRILY drilling his beak into the tree as if he is upset & angered. I completely believe that that crow was dadaji !”

Ra: But these crows r solid haraami yaar. How much noise they make & if one of them dies . . oh god. Ten thousand crows come together n jeena haraam kar dete hai kau kau kar ke. Koi kuch nahi kar sakta !!

Everyone was in splits in the way rahul expressed himself with gestures and tone of voice. He was known for cracking funny comments in an extremely exaggerated way. Ten thousand crows !!

Me: Yeah, I go to the terrace everyday after my dada’s death n feed gaathiya to the crows. And if by chance, one day im sleeping late, one of the crows comes to my window n wakes me up by crowinf incessantly ! I was surprised in the beginning. I tried sending my mom up to the terrace for a week & once when she was late, the crows sat outside her window n woke her up ! Thy had figured out that it is a different person and also that she sleeps in a different room ! They are super intelligent, boss.

And, by then, the ice creams were over.

Can you believe that this was the last proper conversation we would be having while sitting together & hanging out. We were just the same as always - no emotions, no relevant talks. Completely irrelevant, random topics to talk about - even if it was the last time we were probably talking face to face !

“Ek photo banta hai yaar”, someone said. We placed the camera on the opposite table and were trying to find a good angle for a automatic shot, when some one came in and offered to click our snap. Our last snap together for a long long time.

The last ice cream ! (We shoud've gone for supper..hahaha)

Yes, Rahul was going away the next morning to London for his Masters. He would return after a year for a while & then go back there for work. He said he’ll return soon and wants to settle here, but who know what happens 2 years down the line. As of now, he was going.

Yuvaraj had left 3 years back & come back yearly only for a few days after that. Now it was Rahul. And we had grown so close in the last 3 years. Spent so much time together.

Weekly movies at gaiety-galaxy (until they decided to increase the ticket costs !), Saturday night meetings at Carter road, many a times with nothing to discuss, Goa trip – Palolem, 9 bar – all that Rahul had told us !!!. Then, the MP trip, where we spotted a tiger n I ll never forget Rahul’s comment in the jungles there – “Sambar is a waste of a species !” I sill laugh when I think of that !!

Rahul’s jokes, his unnecessary comments, his way of exaggerating everything, his behavoiur once he’s 2 bottles of beer down, his mischievous smile – white teeth showing prominently in his dark face – and you know he’s upto something when he smiles - we’ll miss that all. Always.

We dropped him home, bid him a goodbye and he said, “see you guys at the airport tomorrow”. We said that we had decided not to come, that it ll be time for him to be with family. But he insisted, got a bit emotional & we could not refuse. In our hearts, we knew that we had to be there at the airport the next day.

We did go the next day, again wished him luck & saw him enter the airport and then we turned our backs and left. Goodbyes at the airport are always difficult for me. I ve cried everytime I ve gone there to drop a friend off. I had cried when Rajat had gone, I had cried when shweta had gone. I had cried when yuvaraj had gone. And I dint even have the guts to go for my 2 most difficult goodbyes (I wont name them here). I did those a few days earlier than the flight.

This time too, I fought back tears n crumpled my nose when varun looked at me.
“Airport goodbyes are tough dude”, I said.

Yes, in today's day & age - the world has "flattened", as Mr. Friedman puts it. The channels of communication have improved and increased - phone costs are cheaper, free chat through google, yahoo, skype, use of webcam etc etc. Yes, but it definitely doesnt make up for physical absence. and we'll realise that shortly - in our saturday night meetings !

Yuvaraj was gone. Rahul was now gone. And then, there were 3.

Moments

2009-08-10T05:52:00.000-07:00

Silence greeted us with a warm embrace as we made our way to the park. The sun wasn't out yet and the world seemed abandoned.

A carefree breeze wafted around us, enthused to have found some life. The trees rustled in glee as they played along with the breeze. A few birds chirped here and there, breaking the silence with a surprising loudness.

She walked beside me; casually chatting about nothing. The wind played about her hair causing it to fall across her face. She flicked back the offending strands in her own inimitable fashion.

She caught me looking at her. I looked away, a little shamefaced.

"What," she said with her voice full of mischief.

"Nothing," I mumbled. I wasn't sure if she heard me but she didn't press on the issue.

Maybe now is not the time, I told myself. But then again, I may never know when the right time is.

We walked for a bit, hand in hand, with silence for company. The sky metamorphosed to a bright orange as the sun woke up from its slumber. The air stilled, as if comforted by the warm rays, and then the sky broke down above us.

She ran for cover while I stood still, mesmerized by the rain. My body felt surprisingly warm under the torrent of rain.

A big smile broke out on my face as I whirled about the summer shower.

"Come over here," she chided me while thoroughly getting wet under the tree.

I jogged towards her and held out my hand. She looked at me, curiously, and then reached out for my hand. I looked into her eyes for a moment and then pulled her towards me.

"You will get the both of us sick," she said in mock protest.

I pointed out towards the sky where a rainbow had burst into the sky. She looked at the sky, her hair all over her face and a faint smile dancing on her lips, enraptured.

I looked at her; enraptured.

Now, I told myself.

I leant even closer and whispered into her ears, "Will you marry me?"

She looked at me, her face impishly cute, and said, "Damn! You stole my lines."

I grabbed her then, under the summer storm as the rain danced around us, and kissed her until the world stopped . . . and she sneezed !!

"You were right about getting sick," I said.

Anticlimaxes & Balls

2009-06-18T05:43:00.000-07:00

Bad Manners

The strange green light bathed the small boat in its luminescence. The boy and the girl in the boat oblivious to its presence were locked in a liplock was not meant to be opened by any key made by hands of men. Their hands roamed over each other and their bodies hot and feverish rocked the boat to and fro in the calm water of the river. All calm, except the green light that was now increasing in its intensity. It enveloped the boat like a light fog and slowly started pouring itself into the boat.

A tentacled figure rose out of the fog, and hovered silently over the boat. It observed the entangled couple with the interest a child shows in a new game.
The girl opened her eyes mid-kiss, noticed the floating tentacles and leapt off the boy with a startled yelp. The boy looked around confused at the green mist that was now covering half their boat and tried to calm the girl, but his own rising panic was enough to send the girl into a crying fit of hysteria.

"YOU!" thundered the green tentacled figure and pointed at the girl. The girl stopped crying at once, her tears choked back by the fear of the unknown.

"It's bad manners," the floating form said, "to open your eyes when kissing."

------

Really Bad Manners

-----------------xx---------------------xx--------------xx----------

The Urge

There were times in his life when he could not control it. The urge bubbled inside him like something alive and potent, kicking and screaming to be let out. He stared at the girl sitting across the table. His first date in many years and he was feeling that old old desire again.

What will she think of me if I do it?

Will she leave, or will she strike me in disgust?

Words rumbled and jumbled in his head, he had to find a way soon or there was going to be trouble. He looked behind him at saw a waiter in the pathway, if only he could reach his leg to the side and trip him and spill those drinks…he found out in a second that he could.

The waiter missed seeing the leg and was soon making acquaintance with the cold floor in a puddle of the drinks he was carrying. Some of it, as intended spilled on the skirt and top of the girl.

"Excuse me dear, I have to use the rest room." she said and left.

He smiled contentedly, gave in to his urge and started to suck his thumb.

-----------------xx-------------------xx----------------xx----------
BALLS

"Balls! Balls! Balls!" the Ballseller hollered at the top of his voice. "Battered in love and fucked up in life? Need some guts, to talk to the wife? Come one, come all, come and get some balls."

The market was held every full moon under the big bridge. This was one night when the few shopped for things weird and amazing, for things unseen and unheard of. The price was paid in Stories. Stories were a funny currency, for every shopkeeper in the market wanted a story from anyone who wanted to buy something.

A boy walked up to the Ballseller. "I'd like to buy a pair . . I want the biggest balls you have" he said.

His feverish and tiny body made it look like he needed a warm meal more than a pair of balls. "Ha, ok" said the shopkeeper and rummaged into his pack for the biggest pair of balls he could find. The boy stepped into the shop and took the balls in both hands. The shopkeeper looked at him expectantly, waiting for his Story.

"Once," the boy began, "a boy with the biggest pair of balls won the hand of a Ballseller's daughter, only because he had the biggest pair of balls."

The Ballseller guffawed like a horse and said, "You got some balls, kid."

---

Balls, we all need a pair.

I AM . . . . .

2009-06-10T21:55:00.000-07:00

I have observed it so closely, but happening only on the opposite side of the net. I have been so close to victory, yet I have ended in defeat.

I have seen this moment touch me momentarily and then go far, far away into oblivion.

I have heard my fans chant my name vigorously, yet I have seen myself getting smashed to smithereens.

I have known the expectations, the tension, the trepidation and then the hollowness, the point of no-return — the loss.

Yet I have survived—I have seen death from close vicinity for three times but I had the courage to live on.

The zeal kept me going, the belief kept my heart throbbing, the optimism kept my blood rushing through my veins.

Yes, at this very familiar place, I have seen myself picking up my tattered soul after a bloodless battle and live on for that one last opportunity, that one last chance to turn an emaciated soul into an enlivened one.

The faith, the trust, and the everlasting desire pushed me through.

And here I am standing on the brink of history on Championship Point waiting for my opponent to commit that one last error.

And yes—he does it!

I fall down on my knees. I bury my face into my hands, my eyes welled up with tears.

I don’t want this special moment to end: let me savour it—let the time freeze forever. It’s all so surreal; I can live a thousand lives and die a thousand deaths at this very moment.

Yes, this is the moment I have waited for so patiently for such a long time, the moment that I had so desperately wanted to witness to emulate the career Slam feat of my idol Rod Laver.

Today I am there.

Yes, I rise like a Champion, as The One destined.

Finally, Roland Garros has been conquered like i earlier conquered Wimbledon, Australia and the Flushing Meadows

The Paris clay doesn't seem so merciless any more and the world has never seemed a nicer place where self-belief is still rewarded.

My hands are risen skywards to pay my gratitude to the Almighty who had helped me to comprehend the profound importance of the words "belief" and "hope" — the two very words that had been my very lifeline for the last three years.

And I hear the applause that is finally embracing The Deserving Victor with open arms — the very applause that had eluded me for so long.

Yes, I have finally realised my dream.

Yes, I am the winner of the French Open 2009, the co-holder of the record-equalling feat of 14 Grand Slams and only the 6th person ever to win all the 4 Grand Slams.

Yes, I am Roger Federer.

101 - Unfinished Beginnings & A Fresh Start

2009-05-28T04:19:00.000-07:00

This is my 101st post !!! yay …. Congratulations to me !!

I was wondering for the longest time what exactly to write in this post – should it be specifically dedicated to completing 100 posts or should it be a regular post of mine, with no mention of the completion of 100 posts. And, if it has to be a regular post – what exactly do I write. Considering that I ve been very frequently blogging the last few months, I was going through a mini blogger’s block !

And then I decided upon what to write.

Unfinished Beginnings

Many a time, I begin writing something, but it loses steam midway. If I still think its worth keeping, I don’t delete it. Sometimes I manage to make a full post out of them, sometimes they just stay in my pc unfinished. Here, I ll post all those unfinished beginnings…….

1.Sometime in 2007
The internet is a major obstacle to what I need in order to come up with a post, namely a couple of hours of peace and quiet. And this just cannot happen if GTalk is buzzing with pings and someone constantly writes on your wall, or someone compared you to their friends and decided you have less mother potential. This is why Shakespeare was so successful. Seriously, if you think about it, all the great writers were around only when there was no Internet. Then the 90s arrived, the World Wide Web was invented, and BAM! We’re left with Chetan Bhagat.

Nevertheless, every now and then, there’s something I see or hear that I just HAVE TO blog about, and so I shut out all connectivity with the rest of the world and sit down to type. Like, for example, the end of 2007. I felt I just had to write a year summary and so, I started typing, “By most accounts, 2007 was a fascinating year. These accounts are, to use the correct technical term, wrong. Schoolboys of the future, when they read about 2007 in their history books, will regard it with a great deal of affection, because it will be the shortest chapter. And also because it will feature pictures of Britney Spears without her underwear.”

2.A Few Questions

What the hell am I doing here!???
Where am I going with my life!?!
Am I the only one without a life?
Am I the only one who is not getting married?
Can I be in love with two people at once?
Am I the only one who does not know what the f*** they talk about at work??
When is Friday coming along?
Do I really HAVE to work out?
Has my life come to such a point that THIS is what I'm thinking of?
Does there have to be a Monday after a Sunday?
Who says Harry Potter is for kids??
When is the next free breakfast/lunch/anything...?
Will I get up in time for work?
When do I get to have sex??
Am I losing a day of my life each day that I work?
Have the rules of courtship changed?
Have I aged instantaneously??
If I walk in a Hawaii shirt will people stare?
How much time before I understand something?
How much time to go for 6:30 ?
How much time before I hit the ill fated 30's?
What's the time!???
How many weeks before I have some real plans for the weekend?
Has life in the 20's lost its glamour?
Is this who I really am?

3.Random Stuff
Since the beginning of time, Mankind has always had a tremendous fascination for balls. They just can’t seem to leave them alone, or let them be, so to speak. They feel the need to constantly play with them, scratch at them, rub them or just plain hold them. Womankind also is known to perform all of these activities, but less frequently and only during particularly intimate moments. Mankind, on the other hand, shamelessly does it whenever the opportunity presents itself. At work, at play, at weddings, at funerals, you name the place and Mankind will be there, scratching.

4.An Unfinished Poem

I know you do not drink you morning tea with me anymore,
Why then do I still search for the tea stains of your mug on my floor ?

I know you do not talk with me anymore,
When then do I still wait for your replies to my questions galore ?

I know you do not ring my doorbell anymore,
Why then, everytime it rings, do I feel its you and always you at the door ?

We have not walked together in a long time,
Why then, at each step I take, do I feel your fingers entwined in mine ?

A Fresh Start

Ok – so that’s done. That’s all I had .

There’s a new blog – Straight From the Heart that a friend of mine n I have started. It will feature stories, snippets, poetries, shayries and other things of that sort.

Please read it regularly & comment on it more often than you do here !

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Celeb Sightings - Dedicated, as always, to Chili

Anu Malik (or Aannu Mallik, however it is spelt): He was at Mangi Ferra, Juhu for a "Entertainment ke liye kuch bhi Karega" First show party
There were many other TV actors who i did not recognise.

Ayaan Ali Bangash: Again at Mangi Ferra for dinner

Rajeev Masand: My fave movie critic - saw him outside Famous Studios, where my office is.

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Quotable Quotes

You talent is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.

The greatest conflicts are not between 2 people, but between one person and himself.

The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are either being constantly proven right or being pleasantly surprised.

For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these – “it might have been”

Conversations - 2

2009-05-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

Tired and sweaty after a long session, the two of us lay on the terrace in a post-coital embrace. It was a clear night and we soon lied next to each other, looking up, both of us with a joint lit in our hand and staring at the sky. She suddenly broke the silence.

“People become stars when they die…”

I looked at her as her face reflected the orange glow of the lit joint. ‘Where did that come from?’ I thought. I figured being high on weed makes you philosophical so I put in my own two cents.

“They go to Heaven. The bad ones go to Hell.”

A trail of smoke emerged from my lips as I spoke and danced in the air, reaching for the stars.

“Who’s a good person and who’s a bad person?” she asked, her voice husky due to the weed, never taking her eyes off the stars.

I looked at her again. ‘Nope. She isn't kidding around.’ I thought. She was expecting an answer.

“Good people are good people and bad people are bad people…” That was all I could think of saying. “…you know what I mean?”

“I don’t.” she replied and took a deep breath. She really was high.

“Umm…good people are the ones who have done good deeds and bad people are the ones who have done bad deeds.” I explained and took a last long drag hoping the explanation was good enough.

“What is a good deed and what is a bad deed?”

“Can you stop the crap now? You are ruining the trip.” I said wiping off the sweat on my forehead and started rolling another joint.

She completely ignored my request. “Is smoking weed or having sex or fighting a sin?”
“Yeah, I guess so.”

“So we are going to Hell?”

I kept quiet. She looked at me. I looked back. Then she went back to staring at the stars. My silence must have told her I didn’t have an answer. She was quiet for a while. Just when I thought the conversation was finally over, she spoke again.

“If I kill a man and I know I’m not wrong, then I’m right. I haven’t done a bad deed.” She paused to look if I was listening, then to her finished joint which she replaced with a new one and took a deep drag.

“…and if I haven’t done a bad deed then it has to be a good deed. I think smoking weed isn’t a bad deed either…”

She paused for a few seconds and looked at me smoking. It seemed as if she wanted me to somehow acknowledge what she said. I was thinking about it anyway.

She continued. “…so that means there is no such thing as a bad deed. Then there is no one who goes to Hell. If everything is a good deed then everyone goes to Heaven. That means we are living in Hell.”

The fact struck me hard as if someone had punched me in the stomach. It was the deepest thing I had ever heard. ‘Fuck, I am in Hell smoking weed and going to Heaven for that.’ I thought.

“Okay. So you kill a man and you think it is right. So it is a good deed and you go to Heaven. This place is Hell, and everyone goes to Heaven. Agreed? But what happens if you feel guilty?”

The question made sense, I could make out by her expression. She twitched her eyes a little, then frowned. The question bothered her but only for a few seconds and then she looked up at the sky again, smiling.

“I think feeling guilty is a good deed.”

Animal Kingdom

2009-05-12T02:20:00.000-07:00

Recently I was wondering about the troubles of this world – aboutArun Lal, Prakash Karat, Uday Chopra, the Indian Idol contestants & Channel V VJs who commentate at IPL etc. when I realized that I knew so very little about the fascinating animal kingdom. So, in an effort to correct this, I decided to quickly brush up on my wildlife fundamentals.

And that’s when I realized that learning about animals is very difficult. Everybody who knows anything about the subject, like Maneka Gandhi, is an insufferable bore. This means that we are forced to turn to the National Geographic magazine, which, in order to increase circulation among perverted science geeks, now only publishes articles involving primitive tribes in South America who don’t wear any clothes. Seriously, they even have a ‘National Geographic TribesBabe of the Month’ feature (“In this month's issue: A stunner from the Kojoca tribe of Colombia goes fruit plucking in the forest while the Kojoca men pound their roots - page 43.”) and are currently discussing plans to come out with a desktop calendar.

Anyway, getting back to the point, I bet not too many of you know that it was a guy named Carolus Linnaeus who first classified animals into categories? Yes, it’s true. In Linnaeus' original scheme, the animals were divided into three kingdoms – Maurya, Chola and Rashtrakuta, and a number of classes – ‘cuddly’, ‘gross’, ‘dangerous’ and ‘edible’ which was further divided into the sub-classes ‘undercooked’, ‘rare’, ‘overdone’ and ‘burnt’. Because of the laziness of the scientists who followed Linnaeus, the number of classes have remained the same, except for one incident in 1953, when it was realised that microsopic intestinal blood-sucking parasites could not be classified under any of these heads. So they were separated and classified under a newly created class – ‘Indian Parliament’.

Among human beings, children are the ones who’re most interested in the animal kingdom. As any parent would be able to tell you, children are fascinated by any kind of animal. This is only because without animals, they wouldn’t have any funny cartoons to watch. When I was a kid, we once visited the zoo as a class excursion and I remember how we learnt so many interesting facts about animals that day, such as the fact that you have to take a deep breath and hold it in whenever you approach one of the cages because otherwise, you run the risk of suffering a coronary disorder as a result of the incredible stink emanating from it. The kids of today, on the other hand, don’t have that kind of learning opportunity because they go to amusement parks where, for a nominal entry fee of just Rs.5346, you get to experience amusing rides like the ‘Thunder’, which offers you the unparalleled thrill of throwing up violently on the person sitting a few rows ahead of you.

Anyway, considering this critical lack of wildlife information in the world today, I’ve decided to write a book (after my blockbuster 1st book – read previous blog) about the wonders of the animal kingdom, which, I hope, will help you make an informed decision during the general elections. And I’ve decided to offer all of you a sneak preview of this surefire bestseller. So, without further ado, let’s start off with...

The Aardvark (Firstus animalus) - a large mammal native to Africa, its only claim to fame is that it’s the first animal in the standard English Dictionary. Initially, this animal was called an Armadillo but later changed its name according to numerology, following which it has landed a role in Ekta Kapoor’s latest show. The Aardvark is the only surviving member of the family Orycteropodidae and of the order Tubulidentata. As a result of this, Aardvarks frequently suffer fatal brain haemorrhages while filling in their ration card application forms.

The Blue Whale (Marlon brandus) - Any numbskull who insists that swimming is a good form of exercise should take a good look at the Blue Whale, which is generally grey in colour. A marine mammal, it is most famous for being the correct answer to the quiz question “Which is the largest mammal in the world?” However, that is an urban legend and quite far from the truth. The largest mammal in the world is Bappi Lahri, who claimed the title after the untimely demise of actor Marlon Brando & the dramatic weight loss of Adnan Sami. Another notable characteristic of the whale is that it has an aperture called the ‘blowhole’ for breathing, and we’re sure, for other purposes when they’re feeling particularly kinky at night. The males of the species are known to spend to spend their time drinking beer and polishing their blowholes while the females spend most of their time in slimming health clinics.

The Giraffe (Longus neckus) is an exotic multi-talented creature that is famous for having an incredibly long neck. After spending many illustrious years in circuses and town fairs, the giraffe family‘s good name was tarnished when a young female giraffe’s honeymoon video got leaked on the internet and was even aired on the Discovery Channel. However, Hollywood movie makers were impressed and offered the young giraffe its first major movie breakthrough in the highly acclaimed 1974 classic ‘Deep Throat II: Whoooooosh… gulpp’, a film that is considered by critics to be the greatest achievement in bestiality since ‘Brokeback Mountain Goat’ and ‘Forest Hump’.

The Cow (Gau Maataus) – These creatures were originally classified by Carolus Linnaeus under ‘edible’, shortly before he was lynched to death by Hindu fundamentalist fanatics. Though revered and respected by a majority of the Indian population, the cow and its close relative Ox, are quite unpopular among second standard school students because of their irregular plural forms (though the plural of co is not “kine” anymore, it is “cows”). All members of the cow family are generally quiet, peaceful and underachieving except for the Bull, a famous basketball player from Chicago whose career came to an unfortunate end when the team changed to red uniforms and he fouled out after goring his own team mates. This was also the first known case of mad cow disease. Cows are also famous for their highly efficient stomach, which has four compartments (‘S1’, ‘S2’, ‘A1’ and ‘Tatkal’) which use the assembly line method to produce milk packets. These packets can be obtained for human consumption using the singing technique pioneered by Himesh in a number of films.

The Anaconda (Snakus constipatus) – These creatures, quite strangely, don’t have butts and this is the reason they look so constipated all the time. No one notices this, however, because anacondas don’t have faces either. Neither do they have arms, legs or any kind of reproductive organs. As a result, they’re sexually frustrated all the time and tend to hug anyone who dares to come near them. This has lead to a bad public image which wasn’t helped by the two supremely crappy movies were made using its name. Furthermore, due to the lack of butt, anacondas become larger as they age due to the interior accumulation of faeces. By the time they’re old, they’re so full of shit that young anacondas send them away to live in old age homes.

So, people, I have no doubt that you have now realized how diverse and interesting the animal world can be and I’m sure all of you are dying to find out more. Don’t fret, for my book will hit the stands soon. Till then, however, you can buy the latest issue of National Geographic Magazine, and turn to page 43.

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Some Laws that i read on the web

Conway's Law:
In any organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.

Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Kin Hubbard’s law:
A good listener is usually thinking about something else